Shattered that it could happen to me twice.
Q. I'm new here. I'm 51 and divorced. This is really for the more mature crowd. I would really like to figure out how this could have happened to me, twice now. My background is I married at 36 and my husband left me, for another woman after 16 y...
A. 29 June 2012: Dear Mamarosa,
Welcome to the site! I've arrived late to the "party" due to time differences and whatnot, but I'd still like to comment.
So you're 51 - that is the new 41 in today's age ;) which means, you have a lot of living left, and... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is planning a vacation with his ex-wife, for their daughter's sake. Should I be upset?
Q. Recently, my boyfriend of about 9 months said that he and his ex-wife were planning to take their 5 year old daughter on vacation to Disneyworld. They've been divorced for a few years, and live about three hours apart, but share equal custody of the ...
A. 29 June 2012: Dear Anonymous,
Sure, the precious little 5 year old girl is entitled to mommy and daddy time, however, they are not married anymore, which automatically brings about change.
The fact that daddy has a new girlfriend, and mommy has a new ... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair while he was working in a different country. Should I stay or leave?
Q. we've been married for 17 years with 2 kids, we are happy family, but one day i just found out that my husbandhad an affair to the other while he was working in a different country. He lied to me he said he never had anothet girl while he was away ...
A. 29 June 2012: Dear Anonymous,
17 years is a long time, with 2 kids... sorry to hear that your happy family is shattered with your husband having an affair.
How you discovered it, what he said when you discovered it, and what he is saying and doing now, w... (read in full...)
I've been told that I'm good looking, easy going, genuine and have a sense of humor. I thought these were desirable qualities. So why do I get zero interest from women other than wanting to just be friends?
Q. I really don’t know what to do anymore and I’d really appreciate any advice I can get. I’m 26 years old and have never been in a romantic relationship or had a serious girlfriend. I’m really beginning to wonder if there will ever be a woman ...
A. 29 June 2012: Hi Anonymous,
In the grand scheme of things, you've got it all going for you...you only need one thing: patience ;-) You sound like a go-getter so patience may not be one of your virtues, but it may help you.
So you're good looking, easy go... (read in full...)
How do I know my online guy is for real?
Q. I have meet a guy in on a dating site , we only send mails with each other within a month and he tells me he loves me and wants to be his wife,i am confuse as of now if i'll believe him or not ,what will i dont know if his for real...
A. 28 June 2012: Dear Anonymous,
URGENT:
It's me again. I did some investigative work via google on the product Jeff mentions in his email to you, and not only have I found the product being reported, his name is also being reported on this site:
http://... (read in full...)
How do I know my online guy is for real?
Q. I have meet a guy in on a dating site , we only send mails with each other within a month and he tells me he loves me and wants to be his wife,i am confuse as of now if i'll believe him or not ,what will i dont know if his for real...
A. 28 June 2012: Dear Anonymous, STOP!!!!!!! This guy is a conman! He is moving too fast, and already wants YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS!!! He will pretend to have a parcel delivered to you, and ask you to PAY for it and he will then pay you when he comes there... (read in full...)
How do I know my online guy is for real?
Q. I have meet a guy in on a dating site , we only send mails with each other within a month and he tells me he loves me and wants to be his wife,i am confuse as of now if i'll believe him or not ,what will i dont know if his for real...
A. 27 June 2012: How do you know your online guy is for real? You take it slow, give it time, and see if actions follow words. Don't rush into anything. Don't part with any money, no matter what the excuse is. There have been many success stories of online l... (read in full...)
How do I convince a man I am serious about him and will not cheat?
Q. I need advice...especially from guys. I seem to always have problems with my boyfriend being jealous...I don't know if jealous guys are just attracted to me or if it is something I do or how I look. But it always happens. As usual, the begin...
A. 27 June 2012: Dear Anonymous, You asked us girls to give our ideas too, so here goes... I don't think it's about what you can do, or what you look like, or the affection you show, or buying him things, the usual - it's actually about the type of guy y... (read in full...)
Manipulative, not being real? What are the signs that a woman is just using a guy?
Q. What are the signs to look out for that a woman does not really love you but using you? ie for sex, boredem, rebound etc ...
A. 27 June 2012: Exactly what Basschick said, plus: If she loves you, you will know it by her words, her actions, her behaviour, her attitude, all those things. The opposite is also true, so for you to know she does not love you, she won't say it, her actions ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing a married man and don't know how to handle things
Q. I'm in a tough situation. I'm seeing a married man. I've known him since I was around 14 years old, I've also been in love with him since the day we met. We had a fling back in high school. After high school, I took off and left the state. He ...
A. 27 June 2012: Dear tht1988,
Sorry you're in this tough situation.
Sadly, he is not the man for you, even if you have had feelings for him since you were 14. If it was mutual, he would have waited for you when you left the state, or pursued you. In... (read in full...)
I feel like it's a bad idea but ......
Q. ok I have a situation... I'm just not sure about. I recently started talking to my ex bf again.. he was flirting with me and kinda asked me out again (second time since i broke up with him nearly 4 years ago. lst time i said no after asking friends ...
A. 27 June 2012: Hi Anonymous,
Your boyfriend was immature and a pushover the first time you dated by trying to put pressure on you to do sexual things you were not ready or comfortable with at 15.
After some time had passed and you shared how he had made ... (read in full...)
I fear she may reject me because of her feelings for her boyfriend
Q. I am in situation where I consider myself deeply infatuated with a female co-worker/friend. We've grown close over the past couple of months and hang out alone often. She has a boyfriend and she sometimes mentions her love for her boyfriend. Here ...
A. 27 June 2012: To Desperately in Love AND in Agony Anonymous, Sorry that you find yourself in this predicament with your co-worker who over the past couple of months has become a good friend. 1) Her spending time with you at work, and her feelings for her b... (read in full...)
I find boyfriend's friend hitting on me exciting!
Q. My bf is out of town for a couple months for a job. I'm working and going to school in a town where I really only know people I've met through him. Lately I've been spending time out and about with one of his friends here in town that I think is a ...
A. 27 June 2012: Hi Anonymous, To answer your question: "is it bad that I kind of enjoy the attention" -it's not necessarily bad, it's dangerous. You are courting disaster because spending lots of time with someone you consider FUN, who is your boyfriend's bes... (read in full...)
Everything I do seems to be yet another painful reminder.
Q. So here is my situation: I got dumped exactly one month ago, by my girlfriend of two years, who I dated throughout high school and into university. It was completely unexpected,I had no idea what was coming up, she simply stated that she didn't ...
A. 27 June 2012: Dear Anonymous, Sorry that you got dumped a month ago. After two years, the fact that it happened so unexpectedly for you and you had no idea it was about to happen, makes it harder to get over. You did well in taking some time out afterwards,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of five years has just left me and I feel like I just lost a huge part of me.
Q. Hello. My serious boyfriend of five years has just left me. Its hard to believe in true love, soul mates and fate, since I thought he was my knight in shining armor. I don't know. I feel so betrayed. He gave up. He let us die without so much of...
A. 27 June 2012: Dear Anonymous,
Sorry to hear of your breakup with your boyfriend, especially after 5 years. Your feelings of betrayal and doubt in true love/soul mates is normal at a time like this. You thought he was your Knight in Shining Armor and perhaps ... (read in full...)
Five months? Is it too soon to say to her, 'i love you'?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now and i want to tell her i'm in love with her but i'm afraid it may be too soon as 5 months isn't a huge amount of time. I have had feelings for her for a couple of years now as we have been close flir...
A. 27 June 2012: Hi Anonymous,
Every person and every relationship evolves at a different pace, so there is no wrong or right here.
Your feelings cannot be contained any longer, it's how you feel, so sharing it with her is a gift.
Perhaps if you are co... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will be away for 2 weeks and I don't think I can cope with it
Q. Hi, My boyfriend of over 2 years is away to Europe for the next 2 weeks due to work commitments. We are extremely close, and best friends as well as a couple. This means that we see each other literally all the time and enjoy each other's constant...
A. 5 June 2012: Hi Lily,
N91 already gave you very good advice... the only additional info I can give you is:
*) You say you don't have friends where you live, what about family? Organise an outting with various family members every alternate day.
... (read in full...)
How do you clear up a rumor?
Q. My friends always spread rumors about me, and tried to ruin my reputation.. made fake facebook accounts of me, and did everything they could. And it worked, now I am in grade 9, and the people in my gym class had spread a rumor that me and my frie...
A. 31 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
Well, your "friends" are not really your friends, what with spreading false rumours about you, trying to ruin your reputation and making fake facebook pages!
As The Realist has said, the best way is to ignore it. Eventually it wi... (read in full...)
Why does he say my name all the time?
Q. Hello :) I really like this boy and I started talking to him. We don't talk a lot, but sometimes we do. The first time we talked he said my name a lot. I asked him to sign my yearbook. He was like "sure (my name)" "will you sign mine (my name)" ...
A. 31 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
If he doesn't do it with other people, just you, then I believe it's safe to say he does like you :) Even if your name is unique...
It shows he took an interest to know your name, and he uses it every opportunity he g... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm a sucky kisser...any advice?
Q. I hooked up with my neighbor the other day, I have been interested in her for a while now. We were making out when she started to bite/suck my lower lip, it was really kinky. I decided to do it back to her but I guess I was too rough because we had ...
A. 31 May 2012: Hi Anonymous, It was your impression you are a "sucky kisser" ;-) she might not have felt that way... Sometimes when you kiss a lot, it's normal for lips to get swollen and puffy - a sign lips have had attention ;-) It will pass, an... (read in full...)
I want him to realize how bad his current relationship is, if nothing else!
Q. Ok. So when I was about 13, I met a guy. I thought he was around my age...but as it turned out he was 22. So, I didn't think of him in that fashion. BUT he was still a cool guy, so I continued to hang out with him. He quickly became the best friend ...
A. 31 May 2012: Hi Anonymous, It is wonderful that despite your having feelings for your guy for so long, and knowing that he now has a controlling girlfriend, you still want what is best for him. You just want him to be happy, even if it isn't with you. That ... (read in full...)
What would I need to do to get her back?
Q. So I'm 16... There's this girl that I have known since first grade. This is a long story, but I really need to know what my chances are with her, and what I need to do to get her back. Story: When we were in first grade, she liked me... alot, and I ...
A. 31 May 2012: Hi Anonymous, I'm sorry but the chances are slim. She liked you a lot in 1st grade... then she stopped feeling that way. The history: 1)In 2006 you asked her out officially - she said NO. 2)Your cousin convinced her to change her mind?... (read in full...)
I'm married but involved with a 25 year Russian girl. How do I know if my feelings for her are true? How do I know if I still love my wife? Should I try having a baby with my wife to improve our marriage?
Q. How to start...I am 44 years old and have fallen in love with a 25 year old Russian girl who I met in Moscow while working there for 2 years. I am married (for 18 years) and my wife has never been able to have children. We have recently started...
A. 31 May 2012: Hi Globalscot, You came here for advice, not judgement, so here goes... It sounds like being with the 25 year old has brought a new lease of life into you - however, it is temporary. Pretending to be single, the risk of being caught, the ex... (read in full...)
Did I do everything right? The person I asked for help isn't too happy with me!
Q. Hi. I have a bit of a long story to tell. 2 weeks ago, I invited a friend of mine to help out at an Open House. During the entire week, he asks what I needed help with. I told him I didn't know. And, the day just before the Open House, he g...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous, The answer is obvious - yes! he was upset because he wanted direction on what he could assist with, otherwise he would be embarrassed standing around. The day before the Open House, you realised he was a little upset, that was ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him in a moment of anger and now I want him back, how do I make him understand I want to make this work?
Q. Hi,i was wondering if anyone could help me. Ive been in a long distance relationship for two years now, everything was great, were in love and then one night we got inna fight and after he apoligized to me he starting to be a real *dick over the ...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous, Sorry about your fight with your boyfriend, and subsequent break up. Both of you were hurt and angry, and things were said that you didn't really mean. However, his security was shattered when you broke up with him ove... (read in full...)
Crush on a guy at work....does he like me?
Q. I have a crush (which never happens to me) on a guy at work. He looks right at me when he enters the room. Our eyes meet all the time during meetings. My friend mentioned she saw him smile after I was done presenting. I feel sparks when we make eye ...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
The only way you will ever know is if he makes a move, or unless you are the type of girl who will go after what she wants.
Most of the time from what I've observed (friends sharing this) those crushes tend to die a slow death... (read in full...)
I want to know how can I get back with my ex or should I even try?
Q. My ex-girlfriend dumped me in september last year, before that we'd been going out for about a year and a half. She'd broken up with me once before that, but we got back together less than a week later, and we spent the time apart talking and acting ...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
It sounds like you could have potential to win her back, if you have an open honest discussion with her.
You need to find out what was the reason she broke up with you the first time around. The answer to that, will reveal a lo... (read in full...)
I don't know what to say the second time I see her! Help!
Q. whenever i find the girl i love i start well with introduction and talk ok,but problem is when i have to meet her again i dont have words 2say because i'm not sure what am i have to say,so i just blow up things in that way,what is it that i have to ...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
Sounds like you have a big crush on this girl ;-)
You are doing fine with introductions but run out things to say comfortably because perhaps you don't really know her?
So the trick is to get to know her, like anyone else. ... (read in full...)
My Gay crush .Want to move on and forget. How can I understand why I'm so affected?
Q. This has been a problem for too long now and I really need help with this issue concerning an ex friend. I’ve never really had many friends in my life but I’ve never let it bother me when I moved on from the few friends that I did have. But this...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
Sorry about the situation with your ex friend, who was your best mate at the time. That is the key word here: best mate in college.
In life there is growth, and sometimes we outgrow friendships or relationships. When your mate ... (read in full...)
Younger colleague who has a girlfriend asked me to a football game and wants me to meet his family! What is he doing?
Q. I am friends with a much younger man at work we have never dated i heard he has a girlfriend. he asked me to a football game 5 months from now and wants me to meet his family what does it mean? what is he doing? ...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
It all depends on the friendship that has developed between you two. How long have you been friends; what do you talk about; how meaningful is it; and what are his intentions?
Age is not a factor for many people, and "hearing" he... (read in full...)
How do you create a long lasting relationship with a woman? Do you have to be a 'bad boy'? Or are there some women out there who like the good guys?
Q. How do you make a woman fall in love with you? Yes i know iv heard it all before ''you cant' - ' you cant help who u fall in love with '' etc, but generally speaking, i have found that women who are hurt/abused not necessarily physically, but more ...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous,
Perhaps it's not so much about the good/bad guy, it's about the type of girls you are dating? Just as there are bad guys, and girls who date them, there are also guys who look for specific types. You might be dating from the wron... (read in full...)
Terrible relationship with my mother!
Q. Im 16 years old and I really hate my mother. Me and her constantly argue and she makes me feel like shit. I am the baby of the family and have triplet girl sisters who are 24 and a brother thats 36. My parents are both 57. Me and my mother really ...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Geavannagirl, I'm sorry that at 16 years old, you have the burden of having a mother who is not well. There was one ray of light in everything you shared: Your mother used to be a kind, admirable mother and you loved her... until she got s... (read in full...)
So much promise. And now nothing? How do I handle my online friend? was he ever genuine?
Q. I have been chatting with a guy online and via web com and mobile almost everyday for a month. The guy got so much into me and he swore and made me believe him that we have future this and that. He wanted to come to see me to the UK as he lives in...
A. 30 May 2012: Hi Anonymous, You have had a month of regular contact, and so far only 1 visit. It is easy to get swept away with the excitement of a new relationship, so you need to slow down a little. He shared with you about his previous heartbreak, a... (read in full...)
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