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... Send *iona xxx a private message | | | *iona xxx's profile:I am married and have been with my husband for a total of 14 years. That is longer than most people I know. Although before that I have had other relationships experience, eg 3months, 6months 10 months, a couple of weeks here and there and the occasional ONS when I was 20.
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Emergency contraception! Please Help!!!!
Q. emergency!!!!!!!!!!!! please help this is really urgent. im 15 and i had sex for the second time with my boyfriend about 2 hours ago. However he pulled out of me and the condom wasnt on him we found it just at the opening of me and the tip wa...
A. 9 June 2009: That's a huge relief for you! Phew.
Basically I doubt the lad gave all this another thought, and yet it's us girls who have to worry about getting pregnant.
Therefore please be careful in the future, a bit of fun isn't worth all this stress ... (read in full...)
Why do women like bad boys? Because they treat them badly?
Q. I like to think of myself as a nice guy. I enjoy breaking the myth that nice guys finish last, I'm well off, good at my job, phyisically fit and an acomplished sportsman. I have however fallen flat on my face when it comes to dating. Women just are ...
A. 3 June 2009: The benevolent aspects of helping a boyfriend can happen if the lad is a bad boy, but also, if he's quiet and shy.
Basically why is it the girls responsibility to help him? Why is it our responsibility to keep him on the straight and narrow, ... (read in full...)
Does this mean my hymen isn't there?
Q. hey, im not exactly planning on rushing into sex just yet, im 17, and im proud to still be a virgin, ive been with my boyfriend now for almost 6 months, and im not stupid.. i know sex is going to happen soon, and ive heard most people bleed on their ...
A. 2 June 2009: Don't worry about it, by the sounds of it your hymen must have broke doing sports or whatever. I say this, especially because you used the pleural "fingers". At least you can expect no pain during your first sexual intercourse - which must be a ... (read in full...)
Slow or fast?
Q. Do girls like it slow and passionate, or fast-paced and mindblowing? Or perhaps alter between the two? I understand that sex is something beyond the physical, and that in fact (science proves it) good satisfying sex can make a girl stick around...
A. 1 June 2009: You are right, there are so many forms of sex. Really the vigorous fast-paced is often associated with casual sex. The slow and passionate is often associated with loving relationships. Although you can have fast-paced sex in a loving relationship, ... (read in full...)
Why do women like bad boys? Because they treat them badly?
Q. I like to think of myself as a nice guy. I enjoy breaking the myth that nice guys finish last, I'm well off, good at my job, phyisically fit and an acomplished sportsman. I have however fallen flat on my face when it comes to dating. Women just are ...
A. 30 May 2009: When you word it like that, it doesn't make sense does it. Women wouldn't really want to be treated badly. However there is a certain sort of girl who repeatedly goes for the wrong type of lad, the sort you mention. Then they split up, then she goes ... (read in full...)
Sex and virginity
Q. hey, ok I have a million questions, but ill ask this one question that I have had in my head for a while. im a virgin and I always think guys want to have sex with me because of that but I also think once I tell a guy im a virgin they don't want to ...
A. 30 May 2009: When I look back, I didn't mention it until we had covered a couple of bases - then he said he knew anyway from how I reacted when he was trying to undo my clothes. They will want to talk to you, as you will be dating and he'll be wanting things to ... (read in full...)
Doggy style versus woman on top?
Q. This is more of a sex question than a relationship one but recently i've discovered that i really like sex in the doggy style position andmy boyfireend really likes it when i'm on top. I was just wonderng what everyone else thinks about these ...
A. 30 May 2009: Both are fun and involve deep penetration. Nonetheless for the girl being on top, that's more advanced so to speak and if you are new to sex, you might not be very confident about that. Both positions have different sensations really.... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex 2 days before my period was due. Any risks?
Q. i had sex with my boyfriend few days before i.e. 2 days before my periods.after having sex i had my periods at the right time.The problem is that even after having my periods safely,do i have chances of being pregnant.plz help..... ...
A. 30 May 2009: If you have had your period, then you won't be pregnant.
However, what's the point in taking risks, when there are plenty of forms of contraception that work. Regardless of the time of the month, there are still risks.... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with this girl I don't know well just for the sake of it?
Q. Im going to a party soon, and this girls going i was wondering if i should have sex with her there or just mess about as this would be my first time and i want some experiance. And i dont know her that well?...
A. 30 May 2009: Please dont' loose your virginity to a girl you don't konow well. If you like her, date her, and have sex after a month or two. That's the best way to get experience when you are a virgin. At least you are contemplating the options and not just ... (read in full...)
I regret sleeping with him now and feel so stupid for doing so!
Q. Hello. I am extremly worried. I done something that I feel completely silly about. I feel like such a silly little girl. Any feedback and comments would be very much appreicated. I have known this guy for a while and deicded to meet up with him...
A. 29 May 2009: Firstly relax and don't panic too much. You remind me of a situation I had: Regarding that seduction thing that Who mentioned, a guy wanted it there and then and in a moment of weakness I didn't notice there wasn't a condom on, because it happened ... (read in full...)
I regret sleeping with him now and feel so stupid for doing so!
Q. Hello. I am extremly worried. I done something that I feel completely silly about. I feel like such a silly little girl. Any feedback and comments would be very much appreicated. I have known this guy for a while and deicded to meet up with him...
A. 28 May 2009: At least you noticed that he didn't have the condom on. That's crazy though isn't it, that he didn't bother until you said!
You'll be fine, after all you got the morning after pill, which I am pleased with you.
I am wondering if you regrettin... (read in full...)
How do I satisfy a woman?
Q. My last Question get satisfatory answer? Thanks to all? I am little confused about girls that when she has cum in sexual intercourse. normally it takes how much time to get girls have cum. can every girls have cum by sexual intercourse? what...
A. 28 May 2009: After sex, try the clitoris - fingers. I think it's unusual to orgasm through sex alone, and through vaginal penetration alone.... (read in full...)
One night stand now I'm afraid he's going to think I do that all the time!
Q. im just out of 41/2 yr relationship i have 2 kids,we knew a yr ago it was over but i thought he would change he didnt so i finally got the courage to ask him to leave.it was hard, 4mths later im moving on.i'v liked a friend of mine for a while now,i ...
A. 27 May 2009: Please don't get your hopes up, no doubt this is just a one night stand. Surely he would have found the time to speak to you, if he wanted more. ... (read in full...)
Does a towel work as a contraceptive?
Q. Me and this guy hooked up wich was a total mistake, but i was wondering if you can get pregnant if he pulls out and cums and then after uses a towel continue having sex....
A. 26 May 2009: With the range of contraceptives, there is no point in taking pointless risks. This is why contraception was invented, so girls don't have to follow such methods and then find they are not reliable. Just get some condoms.... (read in full...)
One night stand now I'm afraid he's going to think I do that all the time!
Q. im just out of 41/2 yr relationship i have 2 kids,we knew a yr ago it was over but i thought he would change he didnt so i finally got the courage to ask him to leave.it was hard, 4mths later im moving on.i'v liked a friend of mine for a while now,i ...
A. 26 May 2009: Quite a proportion of people have had a one night stand or two, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are in the habit of these things. I think a lot of things can lead to a one night stand, a lot of pent up emotions.
Perhaps you are just shocked ... (read in full...)
What do people think about casual sex?
Q. I'd like peoples opinions on casual sex (one night stands and friends with benefits). Do you think either are morally ok? I am trying to make my mind up on weither i think they are accetable and would like some opinions. ...
A. 22 May 2009: No doubt you are asking because you have never had a one night stand and you notice there are a lot of opportunities and others you know have had one night stands.
Basically I used to be really against it. I used to hold back and delay having s... (read in full...)
Dating an older guy and nervous about sleeping with him!
Q. Ive been dating a older man for a couple of weeks, we have only kissed but im scared of the whole sex thing as him being 6 years older then me im worried hes had much more experience then me as ive only had one sexual partner, also im a curvy girl a ...
A. 22 May 2009: I am sure guys are less bothered about our figures than we think, or else they wouldn't be with us.
Perhaps it's a good thing he's more experienced, then at least he knows what he's doing ha-ha.
I also think good sex is about the connection a... (read in full...)
Emergency contraception! Please Help!!!!
Q. emergency!!!!!!!!!!!! please help this is really urgent. im 15 and i had sex for the second time with my boyfriend about 2 hours ago. However he pulled out of me and the condom wasnt on him we found it just at the opening of me and the tip wa...
A. 22 May 2009: If you are bleeding, that's fine. You will be getting a heavy period and you'll be relieved that you are not pregnant.
Basically if your boyfriend doesn't take care when removing his penis after ejaculation, this is when the condom falls off insi... (read in full...)
Can a relationship work if you are not sexually attracted to your partner?
Q. Can a relationship work if your not sexually attracted to your partner?...
A. 21 May 2009: Not in the long run no. You risk sleeping with him, even though you are not attracted to him in that way, which might feel a bit odd for you. Certainly it wouldn't last or become serious.... (read in full...)
A year and 1/2 and still no sex?
Q. Sooo me and my gf have been dating for a year and a half so a decent amount of time. We havent had sex nor have i tried. Our year n a half was a week ago n we were making out. Both our top layers came off n the moment just seemed right, so i tried ...
A. 21 May 2009: Hi again, That's why I suggested a long engagement. Basically we were both students and had a long engagement for the same reason, before we got married.
I know what you mean you are hardly only after one thing if it's been this long! As you say,... (read in full...)
Women: Threesomes--MMF or MFF??
Q. Quick question for the women out there, which do you prefer, a MMF or MFF threesome? My wife and I are talking about it and she finds both pretty hot. I said my main concern would be for her to be happy and enjoy it and am willing to do either or ...
A. 21 May 2009: I think some things are best left as a fantasy, or in a relationship that you know isn't going anywhere - ie a casual thing.
I can believe the Relate statistics and the lack of trust and loss of bond.... (read in full...)
Sperm donation from a friend or go to the Doctors?
Q. ive been wit my gurlfriend for 3-years.we live together an we want to have a baby.what should i do.i love her so much.so i go to the dr and try it that way.or should i find a frind that will give the sperm?...
A. 21 May 2009: Would a friend situation not end up with paternal rights issues? Because strictly speaking he's the Dad. It sounds complicated, whereas a proper clinic is regulated and you are protected in that respect.... (read in full...)
She smokes! Why do I want her?
Q. i'm a freak right. The fact that some girl smokes turns me on and makes me want her, why am i weird like that? ...
A. 21 May 2009: There is a smoking fetish. However I don't understand that or any other fetishes for that matter.
I agree about the health implications of smoking, the cancer etc...
In addition, smoking is becoming less acceptable in the UK with no smoking ... (read in full...)
Just by looking, can you detect virginity?
Q. Hi all, I'm not sure whether this is the right place to post but, I have been wondering can people tell who is a 'virgin' or not? if so, how? (e.g. the eyes, the way they dress, act?) ...
A. 21 May 2009: I think generally girls are shy sexually and find the approaching male body a bit scary when they are not used to it. Girls are generally coy when a guy approaches her sexually. So for a girl I would say a guy could tell by the fact that a virgin ... (read in full...)
A year and 1/2 and still no sex?
Q. Sooo me and my gf have been dating for a year and a half so a decent amount of time. We havent had sex nor have i tried. Our year n a half was a week ago n we were making out. Both our top layers came off n the moment just seemed right, so i tried ...
A. 21 May 2009: Something that occurred to me...
If she wants for you to be her first and only sexual partner. Are you engaged, or planning a wedding? Perhaps she would only be comfortable, if there is a wedding date in mind? Say if there is an approxim... (read in full...)
A year and 1/2 and still no sex?
Q. Sooo me and my gf have been dating for a year and a half so a decent amount of time. We havent had sex nor have i tried. Our year n a half was a week ago n we were making out. Both our top layers came off n the moment just seemed right, so i tried ...
A. 20 May 2009: Ahh we must have been typing at the same time.
I know what you mean. In that case, she's probably nervous and shy about it and possibly the signals are there? Do you notice that she's really turned on and relaxed, like a moment of weakness... (read in full...)
A year and 1/2 and still no sex?
Q. Sooo me and my gf have been dating for a year and a half so a decent amount of time. We havent had sex nor have i tried. Our year n a half was a week ago n we were making out. Both our top layers came off n the moment just seemed right, so i tried ...
A. 20 May 2009: I agree, it's a huge leap all at once when you have never had sex before. So over the next few weeks, progress bit by bit. She might not want to be fully naked yet. She might not mind having her top undone/half on and her pants off, involving ... (read in full...)
I know I'm just using her.
Q. alright so here it is this girl that goes my school has been flirting. She's alright. Anyway we were talking and somehow we got onto having sex, now we're talking about having sex with each other and I think we're going to do it. I dunno if ...
A. 20 May 2009: Plenty of people have rebound flings. It sounds like you are complicating things by going for somebody you know. If she's young and the same age, is she sure of herself enough to know it's not serious, to know it's not long since you were with ... (read in full...)
Does the amount of lovers you've had in the past matter?
Q. Hi, I'm 24 and just broken up with my boyfriend. He made me feel pretty bad a lot of the time and one of the things he said which upset me was that I've slept with loads of people and I'm a slag. He used to count on his fingers the people he kn...
A. 20 May 2009: This gives a totally different slant on the discussion. You said he used to count on his fingers... ie he said he had not slept with many. I assume he lied to you and now you are split up, he came clean and admitted that it's over 100. I assume you ... (read in full...)
As a bloke who has decided to be chaste I find myself increasingly frustrated!
Q. Hello, as a bloke who has decided to be chaste I find myself increasingly frustrated. I want to respect myself by staying chaste but my sexual drive is driving me mad. I find my self control wearing when I am cuddling and kissing my partner. I see ...
A. 20 May 2009: It's not just about the wedding but you cannot get a mortgage when you are both young and both a student. You need to be in a stable-ish position generally to live and have a start that the relationship deserves. I mean a normal/average start, not ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in control at all, I want him to control me.
Q. I'm definitely a girl with a rather large submissive streak, I can understand the reason he wants me to be more 'in-control' dure in sex....because, obviously it adds variety and spice to the relationship and it's a fantasy most men seem to have. ...
A. 20 May 2009: I think the first concern is the easiest to address. By talking and having it that on some occasions he's on top and others you are. I think you need to talk, and explain you want him to surprise you and take control, wanting it there and then. ... (read in full...)
Does the amount of lovers you've had in the past matter?
Q. Hi, I'm 24 and just broken up with my boyfriend. He made me feel pretty bad a lot of the time and one of the things he said which upset me was that I've slept with loads of people and I'm a slag. He used to count on his fingers the people he kn...
A. 20 May 2009: I guess we are all different and it helps to be in a similar situation. Honesty is good, you could be honest again and find out that he's had a similar number of ex lovers. Comparisons between people can often be hurtful, about all sorts of things. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in control at all, I want him to control me.
Q. I'm definitely a girl with a rather large submissive streak, I can understand the reason he wants me to be more 'in-control' dure in sex....because, obviously it adds variety and spice to the relationship and it's a fantasy most men seem to have. ...
A. 20 May 2009: I can see where you are coming from. I bet you are used to guys who want it "there and then" and find that a turn on. I think you have become that used to more forward men and not had the chance to be on top before or even think about it. So you ... (read in full...)
As a bloke who has decided to be chaste I find myself increasingly frustrated!
Q. Hello, as a bloke who has decided to be chaste I find myself increasingly frustrated. I want to respect myself by staying chaste but my sexual drive is driving me mad. I find my self control wearing when I am cuddling and kissing my partner. I see ...
A. 19 May 2009: I think most people with a high sex drive do end up having sex and don't wait until marriage. Chaste also involves not having sexual thoughts I guess.
I assume you are a virgin and for religeous reasons expect to wait until marriage. I assume y... (read in full...)
Does the amount of lovers you've had in the past matter?
Q. Hi, I'm 24 and just broken up with my boyfriend. He made me feel pretty bad a lot of the time and one of the things he said which upset me was that I've slept with loads of people and I'm a slag. He used to count on his fingers the people he kn...
A. 19 May 2009: I have seen this sort of issue on dear cupid a lot.
I think it depends on the situation and in an ideal world it's not an issue if you have both had a similar experience to eachother.
As you said he had only slept with a few so it seemed a lot ... (read in full...)
He doesn't believe I was a virgin because I didn't bleed!
Q. Hi i am engaged and he took my virginity. i didnt bleed so now he thinks i wasnt a virgin and is getting upset. i think i tore it while stretchin one time and now what should i say/do? please? ...
A. 19 May 2009: My hymen didn't bleed during sex, it was playing hockey. Why don't you just explain the situation. It does surprise me that some guys are naiive enough to think that all girls bleed the first time they have sex. To be surprised you didn't bleed is ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to want to really hurt your partner?
Q. is it normal to wana really hurt your partner? i have no idea what to do i keep thinking of the relief i would feel just to slap him across the face or sex every man on the plannet just to hurt him and something is screaming out at me leave him ...
A. 19 May 2009: They say love and hate are very close. It's possible that the more you love somebody the more you can hurt somebody or be hurt by them.
However for true love, you soon break out of that cycle as you don't want to hurt him, or he hurt you. I really... (read in full...)
Is it silly of me to be with this older guy, does age really matter?
Q. I'm going to try and keep this short, but its not likely.. I'm 16 (17 in November) and I met this guy through my friend, she introduced us on MSN and we were jus speaking and getting to know each other as friends. We spoke on the phone, and so on. ...
A. 19 May 2009: When I read the title of your post, I thought you were referring to a man who is 20 years older or something!
The age-gap you mention is nothing.
When I was 18, I was with a 29 year old for 6 months. A year later another 29 year old.
My... (read in full...)
What do I do in bed?
Q. Ok so im new to this whole sex thing, ive had sex once with my boyfriend so far, and we have messed around a lot in bed, hes given me oral a few times, hes fingered me a lot and i have given him a hand job a few times. However i cant help but thin...
A. 19 May 2009: Congrats! you have passed a milestone in life.
Don't worry so much, nobody likes their first time and I don't think anybody feels prepared in knowing what they are doing. Think about other first times in life, did you think you knew what you were... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has low sex drive--bad diet? circumcision?
Q. My boyfriend has been circumsized from birth. He seems to have a very low sex drive and doesn't feel up to it much. It frustrates me because i want to feel wanted and have good hard sex. I'm very passionate but i hate having to ask him for it all ...
A. 19 May 2009: Is he stressed or busy or whatever?
If you are really busy, chances are sex is more likely at the weekend when you have quality time together, rather than in the week when you are rushed - just guessing.
When you say bad diet, do you notice lo... (read in full...)
Bleeding after sex?
Q. i dont usually bleed but recently i keep bleading after sex. Its only slightly but i don't know why and my periods aren't due for 2 weeks, any ideas?...
A. 18 May 2009: You need to get yourself checked out. Go to the family planning and sexual health place. They can examine and advise you accordingly. Perhaps consider where the discomfort is, high up, low down, if it's sore as well as bleeding... Bascially just ... (read in full...)
How do I stop masturbating?
Q. How do I stop masturbating? I think it has become habit rather than necessity. I do at least twice to thrice a week, after doing it I always get feeling to not do it again, but I break promise made to my self. Please help overcome this habit, I...
A. 18 May 2009: Are you not in a relationship? Do I assume it's been a while since you have had actual sex and this is why?... (read in full...)
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