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| | FinnMcCool's profile:I am middle-aged and have had a wealth of experiences since my divorce many years ago. Some problems here I feel well-qualified to answer or at least advise upon.
I was born in London, England and live near there.
Relationships are fascinating and complex, I love to analyse them, including my own.
I have made many ladyfriends, quite a few of whom I still keep in touch with and see on occasion.
p.s. I have had a number of my answers not printed because they are too honest and may possibly hurt feelings. I now realise that this site is only interested in being 'nice' as opposed to honestly realistic. Please or offend, I am sincere in my given advice. Therefore, I will now only answer questions where the asker has my sympathy. |
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What's he playing at? Anyone know?
Q. Split from him in jan. I ended it. He's not for me. Kids all got on well, his and mine. Jack the lad 3 yrs younger than me. Owes me a couple of grand. Trying to keep it civil as he's paying it back slowly! Says he's a man of his word and all that! ...
A. 27 July 2008: Heyyyy! Calm down baby.You say you already ended it yet you're depending on him - at least, you're depending on him for the kids' sakes.
You ended it for a reason - he's giving you more reasons.
I think you should accept the fact that he doesn't ... (read in full...)
Black discharge after period?
Q. ok a couple of months ago my dicharge was almost black after my period! it hasnt happened since and im not worried about it im just curious. thx J 3...
A. 26 July 2008: When blood dries it looks black. Try bathing during/ after your period instead of showering. Hopefully, that should remove any 'residue'.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Any sex advice for a larger lady?
Q. I'm very overweight and not very "attractive" but I've met a fella who accepts me as I am. We're now having regular intercourse for the first time in my life.To be honest I'm just glad to feel wanted and satisfy a man's needs in bed.Look...
A. 25 July 2008: Well, in my experience, the ones that never seem to orgasm just cannot help but explode with a little cunnilingus. Tell him that's what you want him to try and talk to him as he's doing it - letting him know what is not so good, good, great, fucking ... (read in full...)
He says he's not in the mood for sex but then goes and jerks off!?
Q. My bf and I just had an argument. and Well I dont quite understand him, I was hoping on advice. I told him last night that I wanted to get a shower to fool around. [ and We have this big shower, so theres room, or even a jacquzzi bath] ...
A. 25 July 2008: How do you really know he was wanking?(ok, 'jerkin' off')Did you see him do it? Doesn't he lock the door? That in itself is strange but if he is wanking instead of shagging, there could be many reasons. Maybe you are just too demanding - too much ... (read in full...)
I've had sex several times and still no pleasant sensations, why?
Q. what is wrong with me? i've had sex about 7 times and i still haven't felt anything good. my boyfriend is on top and i just lay there. we also tried me on top and him behind me but it hurt for some reason. my cherry is popped so that can't have ...
A. 24 July 2008: So, anonymous female, how dare you say my advice is wrong. I am not saying it's right, it's just another angle for the poster to consider. Try reading my reply carefully. Who the hell are you to say so-and-so is right and so-and-so is wrong? What ... (read in full...)
I've had sex several times and still no pleasant sensations, why?
Q. what is wrong with me? i've had sex about 7 times and i still haven't felt anything good. my boyfriend is on top and i just lay there. we also tried me on top and him behind me but it hurt for some reason. my cherry is popped so that can't have ...
A. 24 July 2008: To my personal knowledge, girls your age have been having sex like forever. My first, she was 16, had been active and enjoying sexual intercourse since the age of 12 and that was decades ago. Everyone keeps saying folk are developing and maturing ... (read in full...)
Is 10 minutes of foreplay enough?
Q. hi everybody, i need your answer for different viewers (men and women) my question is how much time would a girl satisfied of foreplay before getting in? its ok if i take 10 minutes foreplay before getting in? Thanks...
A. 23 July 2008: The truth is, my friend, that there is no rule on this, no 'industry standard'. All women have different needs.
I have personally experienced one woman who didn't need more than 5 minutes' arousal time and also came very quickly during the act and ... (read in full...)
Will masturbating stop me from having kids when I grow up?
Q. does masturabatng stop me from having kids when i grow up ...
A. 22 July 2008: No, but you may have very thin children (Only kiddin mate!)... (read in full...)
The thought of getting caught really turns me on!
Q. the thought of getting caught really turns me on when were having sex, i know it sounds really strange. when me and my boyfriend are having sex, i prefer to do it like, in his bedroom when his parents are in, or in his car, where its risky, i dont ...
A. 22 July 2008: Yea, quite a lot of people get really turned on at the thought of getting caught 'at it'. It can heighten the whole experience but who knows why?
Certainly, when I was younger, I got caught a couple of times by a passer-by while shagging on the gras... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I want to have a threesome - where do we find another girl?
Q. Dear Cupid, I want to have a threeway with my boyfriend and another girl. He has agreed, and we have discussed it quite a bit over the past few days. My only concern really is that he will like a girl that I'm not into. So my question is how ...
A. 21 July 2008: This is more of a statement rather than a direct reply: Ale - Hiii!!! I agree with your answer. This is obviously something they need to get out of their system. The way I see it, they are 'only' girl/ boyfriend so if the experience blows their ... (read in full...)
I told him I want to have sex with him, so isn't the ball in his court now??
Q. I told this guy at work 5 weeks ago that I want to have sex with him. He seemed very receptive at that time, but nothing's happened yet! I went away on vacation for 3 weeks and just returned to work last week. I've been ignoring and avoiding him, ...
A. 20 July 2008: You don't chase guys huh? Telling a guy you want to have sex with him is blatant chasing - can't you see that? That sort of line would have me running a mile from you 'cos I'm thinking, if she's that free n easy with me, I'm surely not the only one. ... (read in full...)
What is this feeling my ex is talking about?
Q. My ex girlfriend and me are still very close, in fact, we are best friends and prob will be for life, but she has something happen to her thats a little weird. Every time i say something sweet to her now, like ill always be there for you or you look...
A. 20 July 2008: It's called A Broken Heart my friend, which is what you're doing to her.
Obviously, she is in love with you, you've ended it but you're prolonging the agony with this sort of talk. Move in a bigger circle of friends and aquaintances, broaden your... (read in full...)
Reducing excess tum skin, excercise or tummy tuck op?
Q. ok im 15 years of age i used to be quite large as a child but now i have lost the weight with growing up ect i am an average sie 12 and i must admit i dont appear to be Fat or overweight when you look at me however from where i have lost...
A. 20 July 2008: Hi, well actually, I would say that most definitely, you can lose that excess through exercise, no prob.
I can understand how your feeling a little distressed by this but I really do think it's not as bad as you say. We all perceive ourselves in a... (read in full...)
I need a second opinion on this guy who gave me relationship advice!
Q. hi i am a bit confused at the moment and was after a second opinion on this guy i have been writing to this man who gives relationship advice so i thought i would paste the questions i have asked him in here and then you could quickly skim them and ...
A. 19 July 2008: I think, after reading your letter then seeing your age, that you are beyond help - you're FUCKIN MENTAL! Either grow up or see a psycho-analyst.... (read in full...)
Can I get your opinion... how long do you date him before you sleep with him?
Q. Single Adults... After you have started dating someone, when do you think that sex begins to be expected? First week? First month? When? For men, since you are usually the ones most concerned about this topic, what are your personal ex...
A. 18 July 2008: There is no 'industry standard' on this. Actually, when I reached a certain age, I could tell if a woman was 'easy' or not because I happen to believe that sex on the first date (which has happened to me a lot) is no indication that the woman ... (read in full...)
Should I be embarassed about this?
Q. I had anal sex with my boyfriend, and crap came out does this happen sometimes or should I be embarrassed?...
A. 15 July 2008: I have never personally experienced this but have heard of it happening to a girl I am close to. I also saw it happen on a porn film so it is obviously something which can and does happen and therefore, nothing to be embarrassed about.
I guess it's... (read in full...)
One of the secretaries has placed an unopened tampon under my personal belongings, any idea why?
Q. Hi I have returned to work in a healthcare organization and share an office with 12 colleagues. A few other secretaries also have access to the room. I don't know any of them too well as I have been away for 2 years. One of the women has placed...
A. 15 July 2008: justgirl has the answer I think mate - just shock tactics with no hidden meaning or agenda. You possibly give them the impression of being shockable so they're goin for it.
Forget it!... (read in full...)
Does he like it when I moan? Or is it a complete turn off?
Q. When me and my boyfriend have oral sex..Does he like it when I moan? Or is it a complete turn off?...
A. 15 July 2008: Yea, I agree with the others, you know you're doin it right for her when she moans - give it all you've got baby!... (read in full...)
Intelligence is something I highly prize in a partner but he's not the brightest crayon in the box!
Q. So, I'm between a rock and a hard place. Not to blow my own horn, but I'm one of those annoying smart people; I consider myself well read, knowledgeable, and (I'll admit it) I'm a pain in the ass when it comes to debating. I thrive on informat...
A. 13 July 2008: Na, don't listen to the others here - what YOU want and need is important - nay vital - to a relationship. Don't compromise. Why the hell should you?
The guy you want IS out there. It may take a while but in the end you'll say that you're glad you ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact when he put the picture I took of him on the dating site?
Q. Hi, I met a man a few weeks ago from a dating site and he admitted he talked to alot of women. But We got along well and he said I was his g/f and wasn't looking to meet and date anyone else. One day we had a lovely day out in the countryside a...
A. 13 July 2008: Hmmm... no, I don't think you overreacted at all. He certainly did though - it's pretty obvious he wishes to continue pulling women on this dating site but using the pic that YOU took, well - that's just rubbing your nose in it. Sounds like moving ... (read in full...)
Men, can you recount about your relationships with younger females?
Q. Older men (i.e. 30 and up)...have you ever considered a relationship with a significantly younger female? (I am not asking for petafiles to respond.) Did you pursue the relationship? If so, what convinced you to? If not, what were the rea...
A. 12 July 2008: If you want an honest, detailed answer, you can mail me privately.... (read in full...)
Why didn't he have the decency to tell me he didn't want to keep in touch anymore?
Q. I have been e mailing a man friend who always said he would always reply to my e mails but uinfortunately he hasnt recently so I assume our friendship is over for good. Why is it he couldnt have the decency to say that he had decided he didnt want ...
A. 12 July 2008: You have to understand that online dating is, to a lot of people, a fantasy world. There are people who live their lives through imagining they are in a relationship but when it comes to actually doing something realistic like meeting the person, ... (read in full...)
I've lost weight and dress sexier for him, yet he keeps watching porn. Was I right in scratching his collection so he can't see it??
Q. My boyfriend and I had a disagreement a few months ago. It was about porn. I've tried to keep an open mind about it, but it torments the life out of me. I've tried to say "that's how men are, i shouldnt be so selfish" but it doesn't help. He ...
A. 12 July 2008: Who the hell said "Thou shalt not watch porn"? C'mon, don't drag religion into it. I'm certainly not saying what he's doing is right, quite the opposite but only for what it's doing to you, not for any moral or religious reasons.
He does actu... (read in full...)
When I call long distance she prefers to finishing watching TV. Disrespectful?
Q. Hello I am in the UK and my G\F is in NZ and I'm applying to move there. When I call long distance, sometimes she says she is watching one of her favourite shows and can I call back. I am pretty chilled so do not mind, but is this bordering on dis...
A. 12 July 2008: It's not bordering on disrespect, it is TOTALLY disrespectful. Disgraceful and so very rude too. What's the big deal about a lousy tv show compared with talking to your loved one halfway round the world? I would be questioning just how strong her ... (read in full...)
Tight or flappy down there - what do guys prefer?
Q. Ok got a question. I know all women are different "down there", but what do you guys generally think of labia or flaps or whatever you want to call them. I've seen girls who have really short labias, and then girls with really puffy labias and ...
A. 10 July 2008: I too have certainly encountered many different shapes and sizes of pussy lips and personally, I prefer a woman to be fairly trim in that department but a bit of 'flappiness' is not a problem at all. However for me, what is really important is the ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of what might happen, should I date this man?
Q. A man has asked me to date several times . I don't know should I accept ? It is said that girls have been raped by the man while they are have a date. For this man,I am just first time to meet him in the college. I am a open-minded girl ,easy-...
A. 10 July 2008: Miss, you are right to be cautious. You are in a strange country and many of our ways will be difficult for you to understand. The best thing to do is, if you feel uncomfortable about a person, do not date them - same as you would be back home. ... (read in full...)
I am a teenage male, who is seriously interested in losing my virgin status, how do I go about this??
Q. hi. im a 14 year old boy and i REALLY want to have sex. i can't stand it... im tired of people saying "just wait till your older. i want to now... i have friends at school who have already had sex. and if i get to i WILL wear condom...i just wa...
A. 9 July 2008: Well, at the risk of getting a hammering from the other aunts, for what it's worth, I'm totally on your side and believe there IS a way.
I dunno if I was just shit-lucky but when I was 15 and still a virgin and busting to lose that status, I met ... (read in full...)
Do I let my bf suck my breasts??
Q. my boyfriend wants to suck my breasts.do advice me.he is after my breasts....
A. 8 July 2008: Eloquently put, Dannyboy!... (read in full...)
Do I let my bf suck my breasts??
Q. my boyfriend wants to suck my breasts.do advice me.he is after my breasts....
A. 8 July 2008: You sound like you are totally inexperienced in the sexplay dept. If you trust him and after all, he is your boyfriend, then let him - you may LOVE it - most women do!
Danielepew, in response to your survey: No, I cannot envisage lovemaking with... (read in full...)
Any advice on going to festivals??
Q. Hiya.. I have got my first ever festival on Friday :D T IN THE PARK lol and I was just wondering if any of you had any advice on festivals? And also do you have any tips on how to deal woth the rain and mud because apparently it is meant 2 be rather ...
A. 8 July 2008: Ace festival tip: bring a couple of domestic refuse sacks. If it rains, tear a small hole in the closed end for your head to pop thru, slip it over yourself and you remain dry while all the others get drenched!
Have fun and keep on rockin'!... (read in full...)
I can't find a love partner at all!
Q. Dear dearcupid website providers, I am very much excited to join you .I will discuss all my personal problems concerning relationships. Do you believe me if i tell you that until age 32 currently I do not have a love partner! This is due to my bad c...
A. 8 July 2008: Yea, when's the next flight to Ethiopia???... (read in full...)
Why does my gf think she can do things but if I do it....she get's mad at me!!
Q. Why does it seem like my GF thinks she can do things but if i do the same thing its wrong or its ok for her to get mad about it? But if she does it its ok or if i get mad she turns it on me and gets mad.......
A. 8 July 2008: She sounds like a control freak. If you don't wish to be her doormat, find someone more prepared to be an equal - less domineering. Move on my friend, move on.... (read in full...)
Is she just being a girl or could she be interested?
Q. hello everyone. So just like almost every man in this world, im finding it hard to understand women. There is this young lady who i work with (i know, dont date those you work with) that i cant tell if she is just being flirty or if its more than ...
A. 8 July 2008: Yea, you're right, never easy to really know what goes on in their pretty little heads! She's certainly showing all the signs of being very interested in you but in my book, there's only one certain way to know for sure - ask her out. Yea, I know, ... (read in full...)
What's making his penis go red?
Q. Hi there, The love of my life and i have alot of sex. For about three weeks now, we have had sex about twice or three times a day, everyday. Now im guessing thats not very healthy, because now when we do have sex, his penis starts to hurt. And we l...
A. 7 July 2008: Two or three times a day at your ages is quite normal and healthy. Just so long as your guy doesn't actually feel sore, then keep going for it.
It is quite natural for his knob to look red-raw if he's not used to sex on quite that regular a basi... (read in full...)
I want a boyfriend and sex
Q. i am only 11 and i am single. wich im not happy about. also recently i have wanted sex loads. ihave been thinking that i will find a boyfriend, go to his house one day and he will ask me for sex with comdoms and i will say yes.... ..in my dreams...
A. 5 July 2008: Why do you feel you need sex so badly? Why are you in agony? You do realise that you are too young, not only legally but physically and mentally too. It's such a lot for you to cope with. There are so many other things you should be occupying ... (read in full...)
Spit or swallow? Where should I spit?
Q. If I want to give my boyfriend head what do I do with the sperm? People say spit or swallow but I don't want to swallow so where do I spit it?...
A. 5 July 2008: It's true what the others say, you are way underage for any sexual activity. However nothing anyone tells you is going to make a scrap of difference so as you have asked for advice: keep a mansize tissue handy and spit it into that. No problem!
T... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish or should I go out and have some fun?
Q. im 18 yr old n been seeing a 29 year old for ova a year. ive miscarried a baby by him n i love him with all my heart. the nly problem is i dont feel good enuff in bed for him, since we moved in together he seems really lazy not even cookin for ...
A. 5 July 2008: You chose a certain lifestyle and now you decide that it's not for you. When people move in together or get married, their lives change drastically and will never be the same as before. You either re-adjust and both compromise to make it work - o... (read in full...)
For Men: Questions about women!
Q. This is kind of a funny question but why do men like to smell women's hair? Is a womens scent attracting to a man? I know that everybody likes someone to smell good but is this like a sign of beauty? This is just a fun question for men what is it i...
A. 4 July 2008: Each individual woman has their own scent. Firstly, the artificial variety, be it the type of shampoo/ soap/ deodorant/ makeup etc. that they habitually use. Then there is the natural scent. There again, every woman is different from every other in ... (read in full...)
What's the clue that a western boy wanna go to bed with a girl?
Q. Hello,guys,I'm a Chinese girl.I'm wonering what's the clue that a western boy wanna go to bed with a girl. I have a friend and he's enlish.He wanted to invite me to watch a film in his own apartment.Before that we are only common friends and we t...
A. 4 July 2008: Nihao! I would say that he has more on his mind than just watching films. Sounds a bit too cosy. As for shaving in front of you, that's just plain weird! It is up to you to refuse his invitation, saying that you value your friendship as it is and d... (read in full...)
How do I ask my husband to do stuff for me without sounding too much like a nag?
Q. Hi everyone. I would just like to know something about my husband that I dont understand. He is really a great guy. Easy going and not too full of nonsense. But what baffles me, is that when I ask him to do something, there is a procrastination. Thou...
A. 3 July 2008: I'm really sorry to disagree with UncleSneaker, but THIS man certainly doe NOT like being nagged. I can't stand it!!! If anything is guaranteed to make me rebel and NOT do as requested, it's being nagged into doing it.
Trouble is, there are alwa... (read in full...)
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