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*emmenoir

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I've worshipped this girl since I was 16! Do I tell her?

Q.   Basically, I've reconnected with a girl I had a relationship with in school. I was 16, she was 15 and we went out for about a year. She was my first love and in the end we mutually broke up for a number of reasons but it was not on bad or bitter ...

A.   9 November 2017: Your story is wonderful, so too, your strong and enduring feelings for this young lady, however, i would suggest that you take it very slowly. Do not tell her anything just yet. Give your renewed connection time and build an even stronger st... (read in full...)

I don't know if I should ask a colleague out

Q.   I'm 26 and have been single for around 7--8 months now since splitting with my gf of 3 yrs. I found that break up hard and I'm unsure if I want a new relationship. However I've only been with 2 girls in my whole life and I'm desperate to "get out ...

A.   9 November 2017: You sound pretty confused to be honest, not to mention that it's only been approximately 7 to 8 mths since you and your ex of 3 years broke up. You're hardly over that relationship and you need more time to heal, to find full closure. You've ... (read in full...)

Do you ever get trust back in a relationship and if it’s possible how on earth do you get it back?

Q.   I have been with my partner for just over four years now. We have had a rocky relationship, many hurdles along the way but overcome each and every one of them. I have trust issues, I don’t partially trust people and find it difficult to ope...

A.   9 November 2017: You rarely hear people say this, yet it's so, so true. Trust=love and love=trust. If you have no trust, you have no love, therefore you have no relationship. You cannot say that you love somebody, YET you do not TRUST them. It does n... (read in full...)

I feel keeping me a secret makes me disposable.

Q.   I am seeing (dating?) a guy, though problem is, he is my ex's friend. I knew the guy first, and my ex knows we spend time together because we've been friends for years, but my ex is somewhat of a ring leader and if he doesn't like something or ...

A.   9 November 2017: Don't ALLOW your ex to dictate your life choices and to try and control your happiness. The truth is, YOU are in CONTROL of YOUR OWN LIFE, NOT YOUR EX! You do what's best for you and for your new man and stand proud. If your new bf is ok ... (read in full...)

There is no intimacy in our marriage .... is my wife having an affair?

Q.   I have been married for 15 years. Beginning of marriage the sex life was great. Then all of sudden I had to wear a condom didn't want me to orgasm inside her. The kissing stopped was only just a peck on the cheek or lips. Once a month she has dinner ...

A.   9 November 2017: In reference to your wife having an affair, it's highly unlikely, but again, you will only know the truth when you and she sit down and have an open discussion regarding all your concerns.... (read in full...)

There is no intimacy in our marriage .... is my wife having an affair?

Q.   I have been married for 15 years. Beginning of marriage the sex life was great. Then all of sudden I had to wear a condom didn't want me to orgasm inside her. The kissing stopped was only just a peck on the cheek or lips. Once a month she has dinner ...

A.   9 November 2017: I'm unsure as to what age your wife is, however, as you're in your 40s, i suspect your wife is in her 40s too. If your wife is in her mid to late 40s, chances are she's going through peri-menopause or menopause itself. If you know little or n... (read in full...)

Can our love be revived?

Q.   I'm a beautiful women and I (have) a sexless marriage. Supposedly my husband isn't cheating. What else can this be. There is no connection anymore. I want him to show me he wants me. We love each other, but our marriage doesn't feel strong. N...

A.   8 November 2017: Rather than making this all about YOU, could it be that your husband is going through something, hence the lack of intimacy and his outward temper? Btw, your sex life has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LOOKS. Sex comes and goes, regardless of one's phy... (read in full...)

Is my husband's panty fetish out of control?

Q.   Is my husband’s panty fetish out of control? I just discovered that my husband has been sneaking my underwear as well as my 18yo daughters underwear. I don’t know exactly what he does with them I can only imagine. He swears it’s not about who wear...

A.   8 November 2017: Your husband has a fetish and initially, it was HIS secret fetish and then you found out and thank God you did. I doubt he'd ever have told you, if you hadn't found out for yourself. The real issue is, he has been sneaking your 18 year old daug... (read in full...)

Is this a sign that we are meant to be together?

Q.   I want to pray to God and ask him if he is the one, but I also know I cannot make anyone love me. He is my ex, but I believe he came back into my life recently for a reason. We took time apart (a whole year) to grow and we now have a stronger ...

A.   8 November 2017: Sorry to be so brutal, however, i wouldn't advise you to bring the rubbish bag back into the house. You guys, at one point in time, became ex's to each other and there was clearly a reason for that. You've prayed so hard and suddenly he come... (read in full...)

My Boyfriend excluded me to his brother's funeral because his ex was going

Q.   Hello, I am after some opinions please as to whether I am over analysing things and being silly or if I am right to feel upset and rejected. I am new to this site and so am expecting there may be some readers who will judge me pretty harshly...

A.   7 November 2017: I am sorry to hear of what you and your bf have had to go through, but i must be totally honest here. It's been over 5 years, 5 years, that you've been with your bf. I mean, seriously, how many more years does he require in order to include... (read in full...)

Why did my daughter chose the abusive guy over my grandson?

Q.   Dear Cupid my grandson son was taken by CPS and adopted by a family I don't know.The child was being physically abused by the dad and was removed from the home.My daughter requested that my grandson has no contact with me or my family because from ...

A.   7 November 2017: My last sentence was in reference to steering clear of your daughter and her partner "during this situation". Let them sort out their own affairs regarding their son, however, i can almost guarantee that the state will not allow her to have him... (read in full...)

Why did my daughter chose the abusive guy over my grandson?

Q.   Dear Cupid my grandson son was taken by CPS and adopted by a family I don't know.The child was being physically abused by the dad and was removed from the home.My daughter requested that my grandson has no contact with me or my family because from ...

A.   7 November 2017: UNLESS your daughter and her partner have had professional treatment and changed for the better, it is the worst idea to have this innocent child brought back into an unhealthy environment. Abusive, neglectful, aggressive and careless people d... (read in full...)

My older boyfriend makes more money than I do. I'm worried that I'm not contributing enough

Q.   I'm dating a man much older than me. He earns a lot more than I do and is very generous so is always the one spending when we are together. Apart from the spending he tends to plan our dates (which I like because he has so many great ideas and he ...

A.   7 November 2017: You're considerably younger than your bf and most unfortunately, in today's society, there are younger women, who do "use" older men for money. It's a well known fact and i'm not saying that all young women do it, however, there are those who do, ... (read in full...)

My husband really wants a dog and I couldn’t think of anything worse!

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 1 year and dating for 2 years before that. He really wants a dog and I really don't want one. (Both of us don't want kids). 3 years ago, when we met and began dating, he had just moved from another state an...

A.   7 November 2017: This is where COMPROMISE is everything. You cannot expect, nor demand that your husband compromise with you, yet you refuse to compromise with him. It doesn't work like that, because your marriage isn't all about YOU. Your husband sounds l... (read in full...)

How do I get over my crush?

Q.   How do I get over a guy that is in a relationship and has probably been for a long time? He's 23 and I'm 18 and we've been friends for over a year. Before I found out that he was in a relationship, I had a crush on him, and it seemed like he h...

A.   7 November 2017: This is like a fantasy being played out in your head and you must realise that nothing will and can ever come of this. This guy's with somebody else for starters, so he's definitely "off limits". Also, the fact that he has flirted with you... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend’s brother hitting on me?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and we are very much in love. My boyfriend is very close to his brother, and we spend time with him a lot. His brother also has a girlfriend. The problem is, my boyfriend’s brother keeps liking photos on...

A.   7 November 2017: You should speak to your bf regarding the fact that his brother always "likes" your images of you in swimsuits and tight clothes. Always be totally open and transparent with your bf, especially if you truly love him and value your relation... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...

A.   7 November 2017: Sorry to have posted my response 3 times over. I encountered a computer issue and when i pressed "add your answer", mine went through multiple times.... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...

A.   7 November 2017: Firstly, i think you should have a one on one discussion with your bf regarding his feelings surrounding birthdays. It may be that he's had negative situations arise around his birthday, hence his inability to acknowledge your birthday. It may ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...

A.   7 November 2017: Firstly, i think you should have a one on one discussion with your bf regarding his feelings surrounding birthdays. It may be that he's had negative situations arise around his birthday, hence his inability to acknowledge your birthday. It may ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...

A.   7 November 2017: Firstly, i think you should have a one on one discussion with your bf regarding his feelings surrounding birthdays. It may be that he's had negative situations arise around his birthday, hence his inability to acknowledge your birthday. It may ... (read in full...)

Is she ready for a new relationship?

Q.   There is one girl I know her from Facebook at that time I was in my country we kept texting and everything was fine her bf just left her from few months ago and went to U.K. At the beginning she told me she is not ready yet I told her I won’t force ...

A.   7 November 2017: This young lady is still dealing with her ex and still coming to terms with her break up, not to mention the emotional part of that past. She'd only be using you on the "rebounds" and as a "sounding board". She's feeling quite vulnerable, scar... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks he should be consulted about my mother's estate

Q.   Is it wrong to not consider my boyfriends opinion regarding my house? My mom passed away last year and my cousin is helping me get the house in my name. He and I agreed that refinancing the remaining amount of the mortgage was the best option for ...

A.   7 November 2017: He isn't your husband yet, only your bf and regardless of the fact that you've a baby on the way, your bf needs to accept YOUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS. If he's unwilling to cooperate and be fully transparent, regarding all HIS finances "firstly... (read in full...)

I cyber cheated, my fiancé doesn’t want anything to do with me, help!

Q.   Recently my then fiancé found out that I had been having an explicit conversation with an old friend on social media. She found out and we spoke about it and we agreed to move past it and better ourselves because there was a disconnect. Basically ...

A.   7 November 2017: I should also add, don't ever forget the two most important beings innocently placed within this mess, YOUR TWO CHILDREN. Their stability and wellbeing is of paramount importance.... (read in full...)

I cyber cheated, my fiancé doesn’t want anything to do with me, help!

Q.   Recently my then fiancé found out that I had been having an explicit conversation with an old friend on social media. She found out and we spoke about it and we agreed to move past it and better ourselves because there was a disconnect. Basically ...

A.   7 November 2017: Regardless of your long term union and the fact that you have two children and a house together, you guys need serious help. Although couples counselling should be a last resort, because i know it can be too expensive for many people, i really w... (read in full...)

My husband is threatening divorce ... please help

Q.   I messed up .... again. Long story short: I have OCD and anxiety in my relationship. I am controlling and emotionally abusive (though not to the full extent that articles write about). I have hurt my husband so much that i dont know if he can forg...

A.   7 November 2017: It's so important for you to get the professional help that you really require. Without professional help, your marriage is doomed for divorce unfortunately. You've had OCD and anxiety for a long time, yet you didn't continue ongoingly with y... (read in full...)

We Had Summer Fling. Can this turn into a relationship?

Q.   I was on a vacation a month ago. I went with my friends, and had intentions to relax and have a real resting holiday,cause I was so tired of working all year and also dealt with a heartbreak which left me with a lot of scars and most of all with the ...

A.   7 November 2017: Your post is quite old now, however, i hope things worked out for you. If you're still feeling confusion over everything, i'd encourage you to let go of this guy, because after all, it was just a fling and besides, you were still getting over you... (read in full...)

I like a guy who just broke up with his girlfriend

Q.   I'm secretly like my brother friend alot for one year.I did not tell about this to both of them as I thought it may affect their friendship.Now I came to know reasonly he had a girlfriend and he had broken up with her.he was with her for 2 ...

A.   7 November 2017: You should let go of this guy and the sooner, the better. He is a friend to your brother, he had a gf, they broke up, but he's ALREADY interested in a new girl and he's only just broken up with his ex not so long ago. If he and this new girl we... (read in full...)

"More than best friends"

Q.   Hi, i really need some advice About 2 years ago, I met this guy thru a my best friend. The 3 of us became best friends but he liked me and I never seen him like that. Until 8 months ago I saw him more of a friend. The first move was made by him,...

A.   7 November 2017: Cease all contact with him. This guy's been playing you like a yo yo and now it's time to put a STOP to this. He's not committed to you and never will be and this is so apparent in the way in which he's been treating you. You and he were... (read in full...)

Wifes past haunts me.

Q.   I have been married almost 20 years now. When I met my wife she told me that she had been raped. A few months into our marriage she told me that she had been gangraped as well, I didn't question her too much about it and just left it. A few months ...

A.   7 November 2017: You sound so conflicted in your feelings and i can only imagine how hard/awful this entire situation must be for you, but don't forget that it's your wife who went through hell first and foremost. You also sound quite distrusting of your wife, ho... (read in full...)

How do I deal with jealousy? french kissing? He's my first boyfriend

Q.   So I failed the year and got set back a year... I'm in a new class and I made friends (something that I didn't have for the past 2 years) and one guy (Gabri) started talking to me because I'm English (I live in Italy), after school we started ...

A.   6 November 2017: You're still young, you're inexperienced with guys and relationships and it's all very normal. Try not to be jealous, because jealousy is a curse and will only hurt you in the present moment and the future. Look at things from a very simple pe... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to want my boyfriend to stop looking at porn online?

Q.   Dear aunts and uncles, I'm only 21 and have been in one relationship which I'm currently in so I don't have much knowledge. My boyfriend's penis looks nothing like the ones I saw in porn.It isn't straight...it kinda twists a bit. Plainly put, it ...

A.   6 November 2017: There is absolutely nothing wrong with your bf's penis. Just because your bf's penis is curved doesn't mean there's something wrong with his body and that this will affect his sexual performance. You have no experience with men, so your con... (read in full...)

Should I stay with my boyfriend in the hope that he matures at some point, or do I let him go and move on?

Q.   Should I stay with my boyfriend in the hope that he matures at some point, or do I let him go and move on? We're both at university (we're both 21) and have been going out for 2 years. We've been having problems lately because he wasn't spending ...

A.   6 November 2017: You're both young and for your bf, his behaviour is very normal. A man's brain isn't fully developed until he's 25 years of age, whereas a woman's brain is fully mature by the time she's 21 years of age. This explains why women are more able to... (read in full...)

Relationship started out well but now he's asking for more and more money. Is he using me?

Q.   To cut my story short, I met a turkish guy at a resort during my holiday 2 months ago.We are both muslims and have similar cultures as I am from the middle east, so we seem to understand each other's views and lifestyles. Everything was going smooth ...

A.   6 November 2017: This guy is definitely using you and he's very cleverly done his homework and spotted your weaknesses. You've been too kind, too loyal and now it's time to STOP!! If this guy truly had an ounce of respect for you, he'd never be asking you for m... (read in full...)

He cheated. Should I?

Q.   I’m married 20 yrs to my 1st love. We have 3 kids (14, 10 and 6). I found out 5 yrs ago my husband was cheating on me for a few years. I confronted him with evidence found in his emails and texts, pics of escorts and hotel records. He confessed ...

A.   6 November 2017: I should also mention, if you do decide to carry out this affair with your close family friend, you'll most likely come out of it feeling even unhappier, somewhat dirty, confused and so many more negative emotions. This affair isn't going to "heal... (read in full...)

He cheated. Should I?

Q.   I’m married 20 yrs to my 1st love. We have 3 kids (14, 10 and 6). I found out 5 yrs ago my husband was cheating on me for a few years. I confronted him with evidence found in his emails and texts, pics of escorts and hotel records. He confessed ...

A.   6 November 2017: There are a number of issues here, as i see it. Firstly, your husband has had numerous affairs, yet you say you've forgiven him and you can still call your marriage "picture perfect". That perfect picture was destroyed the moment your husb... (read in full...)

I don't like the way my parents treat me and I'm thinking of running to my boyfriend in Canada

Q.   I've been in a relationship with a guy online for about 5 years now. I trust him alot and we do love each others. My problem is my parents. I've hated living with them. Everything has abnormal strict rules and im sick of it. I feel im living on a ...

A.   6 November 2017: I have been in a similar situation when i was your age and i can tell you from personal experience that leaving your parents home to go and live with this guy in Canada isn't a good, nor smart idea at all. You've never met the guy and when you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has women all around him and I've asked him to stay away from them and be with men

Q.   I have a 42 yr old bf we dating for two years now i moved in with him in his town.i found a job in that area.he has been working 23 yrs at this company and had three wives within this company he tells everyboy what happens in his affairs most of the ...

A.   6 November 2017: Also please remember that a healthy relationship is one whereby things flow easily and rather effortlessly. If you find you're having to put so much effort into everything and if you're questioning so much, then this ought be a big sign that you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has women all around him and I've asked him to stay away from them and be with men

Q.   I have a 42 yr old bf we dating for two years now i moved in with him in his town.i found a job in that area.he has been working 23 yrs at this company and had three wives within this company he tells everyboy what happens in his affairs most of the ...

A.   6 November 2017: Somethings amiss here. Are you sure you're not pulling our legs, trying to get a reaction out of all of us? If not, then i'm compelled to question your sanity, because for an Accountant at 50 plus years of age, you're coming across as very n... (read in full...)

My wife says she won't move out of the house until our divorce is final. Why?

Q.   My wife says she's not moving out until our divorce is final. She says she talked to a lawyer. Why wouldn't she just move? She has a home to go to that she bought recently with daughter...

A.   6 November 2017: Ask her directly. It appears that she's not going anywhere, because she's awaiting her half of all assets. She'd get whatever she brought into the relationship/marriage and whatever else you guys bought together. As hard as it is, she has t... (read in full...)

How do I tell them I'm moving out without making it worse for myself?

Q.   So I have a friendship question here. I am currently in uni and live in a uni house with three girls, however it is a bit icy between some of us at the moment. Now, a bit of background, for the past few days/weeks I have felt like I am almost...

A.   6 November 2017: This entire stressful situation is easily rectifiable. Let it all off your chest and tell them what your intentions are. The sooner the better and worry not regarding the outcome. You won't be there too much longer anyway, so just stick it ou... (read in full...)

Still missing the X-Factor... what does he have that I dont?

Q.   I might drive a Mercedes Benz, and he does not. I might hold a degree, have been to business school, and he does not and hasn't. Well before I perceived her as a love interest, I stepped in to fill in gaps regarding her father figure in life. ...

A.   6 November 2017: Sorry Sir, but you sound so self-conceited. Regardless of all you say and how you think about this entire situation, you cannot make a person like you or love you, be drawn to you, UNLESS, they themselves feel something for you. Material poss... (read in full...)

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