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*emmenoir

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< Prev1234567891011Next > [14 pages, 505 answers]

Do I fight to keep her or let her go?

Q.   So out of the blue my fiance has broken up with me, we've been together almost 3 years and engaged since May. I love her and want to be with her, she says it's because of my messiness and it's effect on her mental health. I've never been this ope...

A.   20 November 2017: Thanks for your update and i'm sorry to hear that both you and your fiance have depression and anxiety and on top of that your fiance has cyclothymia. I can imagine that it would be very hard for you, to understand her sudden mood changes,... (read in full...)

How can I learn my value?

Q.   How Can I learn my value? I am insecure and I have let people walk over me - use me- and leave me - friends and lovers . I have worked on the outside (lost the weight - got the degrees - got a better corporate job) but I still fear saying no- I ...

A.   17 November 2017: Reading through your post, i could "completely relate" and it was as though i was reading about my "former" self. I was EXACTLY like you, so i really get where you're coming from. You know, you DON'T need to become a harder, colder or differ... (read in full...)

Is it too much to hope that things might work out with my ex?

Q.   My ex text me after a week. After breaking up, briefly getting back together, then breaking up again, my ex text me asking how I was. We'd been having difficulties for a while because I just felt that my bf wasn't giving me any of his time. He was...

A.   17 November 2017: You've written in recently and i remember replying to your question, so too, many others with smart and well meaning advice. Sorry to sound rude, however, did you read everybody's comments? If so, most of us advised you to NOT get back with yo... (read in full...)

How do I tell potential dates that I do not engage in sex outside marriage vows?

Q.   Hi I am going to start online dating . I don’t want to have sex before marriage . I am not virgin I was married before. Mostly folks respect your decision ( not sex before marriage) if you are virgin . If you are not virgin they don’t respect ...

A.   17 November 2017: Just be open and honest about your preferences from the beginning, because you don't want to end up with somebody who "assumes" you're open to sex before marriage and then finds out from you that you're not. Imagine if you spent some time with a g... (read in full...)

Should we remain friends

Q.   I left a man i love because he preferred open relationships. He took the initiative to remain in touch with me by occasionally texting me and asking me out. One one hand, i was still attracted to him and my heart beat whenever i saw his messages. On ...

A.   16 November 2017: You should make sure that when you say you've "blocked" him, that you NEVER go back and "unblock" him, because if you ever do, you're right back at square one, with the same feelings and the same problems. You are both incompatible long term, as... (read in full...)

Does she really love me like I love her?

Q.   I just recently found out that my wife, I'm a lesbian, only watches straight porn. I'm questioning a lot now, not so much about how I feel about her but if I could ever truly make her happy or if I have ever truly satisfied her. She's brought it u...

A.   16 November 2017: I am sure your wife loves you totally and is very turned on by you, OTHERWISE, i doubt you'd still be together. You know, your wife's fascination with "straight porn" may actually be purely out of "CURIOSITY" if anything. She may just like to... (read in full...)

Help me sort out my feelings

Q.   Hi, I'm not sure where to start really. I've been in a relationship for 4 years. Basically I felt that he couldn't commit to me. He never asked me to move in or when we'd talk about it he'd come up with so many excuses, he had issues showing h...

A.   16 November 2017: I don't think that either men are good for you and you should cut all ties with both. Your ex couldn't commit to you, when he had 4 long years to do so and this guy at work, please don't waste your time. Dating work colleagues is a bad idea an... (read in full...)

If we could be friends should I try?

Q.   Should I keep speaking to him, and try and be friends? I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 2 weeks ago and it's killing me. We broke it off about 2 months ago, then briefly got back together before we realised nothing had changed. We'...

A.   16 November 2017: You're still young. The world is your oyster, so please try not to worry about your ex bf. As many have mentioned, if he was genuinely interested in you, he'd definitely make time for you and he'd NEVER place you right at the bottom of his prio... (read in full...)

My dad intentionally tried to shame and humiliate me at my wedding.

Q.   I've had a very distressed relationship with my family since I was born really. It's pure dysfunction. My mom is mentally ill and I no longer communicate with her. Leaving me and my sister to look up to and rely on my dad as a sole parent for most ...

A.   15 November 2017: I should also add and i'm sorry for not mentioning it prior, however, i am sorry for what you had to endure on one of the happiest days of your life, your wedding day. You can still choose to remember it as that very special day and without ... (read in full...)

My dad intentionally tried to shame and humiliate me at my wedding.

Q.   I've had a very distressed relationship with my family since I was born really. It's pure dysfunction. My mom is mentally ill and I no longer communicate with her. Leaving me and my sister to look up to and rely on my dad as a sole parent for most ...

A.   15 November 2017: I can strongly relate to you and what you've been and are going through. I've dealt with much milder symptoms of what you regularly endure, but still, i have endured. My advice would be, steer clear of all those who give you a hard time and fi... (read in full...)

He never wants to spend time with me!

Q.   Hi everyone I've been with my fiance now for 4 years we have 2 children I already had my daughter when we met then we had a baby girl who is now 2 the problem is he never wants to spend anytime with us he goes to work on a morning comes home at 4.15 ...

A.   15 November 2017: Try having another serious chat with your fiance and let him know EXACTLY how you feel and what you EXPECT from him and from your relationship. Let him know that his continual ignorance isn't helping your relationship at all and that even your dau... (read in full...)

Can you help me find the words to express how I feel about him?

Q.   hi there im 35, ive been speaking to a man for a while now, i find it very hard expressing myself, i want to tell him the strong feelings i have for him, but i get embarrassed, would someone word it for me please xx...

A.   15 November 2017: You should meet this man first and get to know him much better before declaring your feelings for him. Sharing this very personal part of you with another, is only worthy, if/when you can see/feel that those feelings are somehow being reciproc... (read in full...)

Do I fight to keep her or let her go?

Q.   So out of the blue my fiance has broken up with me, we've been together almost 3 years and engaged since May. I love her and want to be with her, she says it's because of my messiness and it's effect on her mental health. I've never been this ope...

A.   15 November 2017: You're not an alcoholic, a thief, a gambler, a womaniser, a drug addict, so i don't see why you being "messy," is enough for your ex fiancee, to break up with you after 3 long years. Whilst i don't like mess myself, i certainly wouldn't break up... (read in full...)

Mum kept hitting me with a shoe

Q.   I can't talk to my mum and I think she's being abusive. So this is the thing right. My mum just loses it all the time. It's like there's a war going on in my house. It always happens when I come home from school. We just yell at each other. She ...

A.   15 November 2017: I should also add, you should prepare a roster, either on a blackboard or a written roster for all required daily chores, then place it on the wall, where you walk past daily, so you can see it and not forget to check it. You may only have to ... (read in full...)

Mum kept hitting me with a shoe

Q.   I can't talk to my mum and I think she's being abusive. So this is the thing right. My mum just loses it all the time. It's like there's a war going on in my house. It always happens when I come home from school. We just yell at each other. She ...

A.   15 November 2017: Whilst i believe that you must always show respect toward your parents and you must always do ask you're asked by your parents, i do not think that your Mother should be hitting you with a plastic shoe. In many countries, this is called, child ab... (read in full...)

Accepted a job but I feel over qualified

Q.   Hi. I have done my postgraduation in biotech in 2014. Since then till now at end of 2017, I am continuously giving interviews for research post. As some people may know, there are very less jobs in biotech in India and that too ask for NET ...

A.   15 November 2017: I should also add, do never forget that EVERY SINGLE JOB, on earth, exists because it has it's place in society and because it's required and needed. Don't forget that ever. I work within the medical field and i regard myself as well educated... (read in full...)

Accepted a job but I feel over qualified

Q.   Hi. I have done my postgraduation in biotech in 2014. Since then till now at end of 2017, I am continuously giving interviews for research post. As some people may know, there are very less jobs in biotech in India and that too ask for NET ...

A.   15 November 2017: May i say, do not carry so much arrogance and behave so narcissistically. You may have credentials, however, you've no proper, nor real practical experience, so there's no need to get yourself so worked up and to feel so embarrassed. To even... (read in full...)

Whatwas he trying to prove?

Q.   Had a major fight with my husband and then he went online (on my computer) and looked up ALL of his exes and past flings on social media! Don't think he contacted any of them but why would he do that?...

A.   14 November 2017: Your husband is passive-aggressive by the sound of things and actually, he's very "emotionally immature". For a grown man, he still hasn't grown up "emotionally", hence his ridiculous behaviour. Honestly, a quarrel within marriage, should... (read in full...)

Should I risk involvement when he might travel abroad?

Q.   I am dating a guy, we have been conversing for a good few weeks now. He seems very interested and we get on really well. He recently told me however that he is planning on going abroad to live with his friend next year. When he said this he s...

A.   14 November 2017: You've only just known this guy for a "few weeks" and honestly, in the grand scheme of things, 2 weeks is nothing. I am unsure if you've had prior experience with dating, however, it's going to take "much, much more" than 2 mere weeks to get to k... (read in full...)

I'm growing uncomfortable with his questions! Should I go meet him for coffee?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I met a 41 year old guy who describes himself as sophisticated, also wants a sophisticated lady, online.He writes he is ready for a new relationship. He writes he has never been married, has no children and lives alone. He has a ...

A.   13 November 2017: This guy isn't interested in pursuing a "proper" relationship with you and all the signs are right in front of you. This guy, he's got a few favourite fetishes up his sleeve and he wants to use YOU to make his fetishes come true. He's tapped i... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for this guy who is 2 years older!

Q.   i met this guy 2 years ago and i developed feelings for him since we met to do projects quite often. he is 2 years older than me so he was always mentoring me. like i said, i developed feelings for him but recently i don't feel anything for him. he ...

A.   13 November 2017: You don't feel anything for this guy anymore, plus you are still underage and too young to be dating, getting emotionally involved with a guy. This guy is 2 years older and at your current age, this is quite an age gap and he'd be more into the... (read in full...)

How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?

Q.   After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...

A.   13 November 2017: Your wife is obviously a very cunning woman and a great actress at best. Honestly, how she was able to live out a "normal" life and marriage with you, whilst happily playing "mistress" on the side and obviously very discreetly at best, is beyond m... (read in full...)

I'm fed up with my boyfriend! How much longer do I give him and how far does “for better or worse” really go?

Q.   I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years, engaged for 6. I’m at the end of my rope and I know what I need to do but lack the ability to do it. I’m 28, a recent college grad, and have a job working at a hospital which supports me completely. He’s 34, ...

A.   13 November 2017: Your bf may not be a bad person and i know you still care for him, however, in order for him to learn to stand on his own two feet, he must do this alone. You should sit down with him and be totally upfront with him and let him know that it's ove... (read in full...)

I don't know if I have feelings for him. I don't know if he likes me?

Q.   i've known this guy for close to 2 years (he's 2 years older than me), i knew him through my primary school's alumni association and i think i like him... i'm not 100% sure of my feelings for him. recently i told my best friends that i like him but ...

A.   13 November 2017: What's crucial here is that, you must first know how YOU FEEL. If you don't even know how you truly feel about this guy, then you can't expect anything from him. He may like you, he may not, but again, you are so confused and this comes acros... (read in full...)

He wants to finger me but we don't want to have sex

Q.   Hey am just 20 and my boyfriend wants to finger me... But we don't want to have sex... Is it OK... Or possible.. ...

A.   13 November 2017: Don't ever engage in any sexual activity that you aren't yet ready for or don't feel comfortable doing, even with your bf. How long have the two of you been together and what type of personality is he? Is he bossy, demanding, controlling or a... (read in full...)

My parents are separated, dad has a girlfriend who's not too great and my mom is spiralling out of control. Help me please

Q.   Hi. My question today/tonight is about separation.. My parents have been separated since April 2016, They are still married but do not live together. I asked my dad nicely if he could pay for flights for myself and my mum to go over east to...

A.   13 November 2017: Firstly, may i express to you, how sincerely sorry i am that you've been placed in such a difficult position as a young person. You sound very wise, mature and seem to be keeping your head above water, however, i can't imagine what you've had to e... (read in full...)

Is $3000 too cheap for an engagement ring for a high maintenance girlfriend given my income and background?

Q.   Hi, I would appreciate if you can help me with my question. If a guy is a university professor, in his mid 40s with some debt from divorce, planning to propose to his high maintenance girlfriend who is beautiful and highly educated do you think ...

A.   13 November 2017: I don't think true love ought be purely based upon the price tag of an engagement ring. If your gf is a truly sincere, mature and above all else, "appreciative" woman, then she will appreciate the ring that you've chosen for her and do you know... (read in full...)

My sister's boyfriend kissed me and now we've been making out behind her back!

Q.   My sisters boyfriend kissed me what should I do?? I’m 15 years old and my sisters boyfriend is 19 they’ve been dating for about a year I’ve known him as long as she has known him. This all started about 3 months ago when he started grabbing...

A.   13 November 2017: You're still young, so is he and i do get that, but seriously, you're old enough and wise enough to know right from wrong and this is plain WRONG, it really is. You need to put a STOP to this before it gets even more out of control. You sho... (read in full...)

Now he seems interested in finally setting a date I don't want to marry him.

Q.   Hello, new to the site. hoping for some help. I 39 years old and my bf is 46, we have been together for almost 3 years and engaged for 2 of those. When we got engaged i was so happy that i would be planning my wedding, but every time i mentioned ...

A.   13 November 2017: Your dilemma sounds quite messy, but in all honesty, it's not too hard to come to a rational conclusion. You have pretty much summed it up for yourself. Your fiance doesn't sound like your ideal suitor and i think you know he's not the one for ... (read in full...)

I'm sorry I took her back ... should I end it?

Q.   SHould i end wid her? she and i came in relation even if she had a boyfriend back then. i somehow convinced her to come in relation. cuz i loved her. but she was kinda confused between him and me. been in relation for 2 months. i had to leave the...

A.   13 November 2017: I always say, NEVER bring the garbage bag back into the house! Your ex gf, she has some cheek coming back to you, after telling you that she loved her other bf more than you and you were silly and naive enough to take her back after all that. ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend

Q.   I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend... I've been seen this guy for 3 months now and things are moving forward. However, every time we start getting intimate, I freak out and stop all interactions. I'm a virgin and this is the first pro...

A.   13 November 2017: Also, in reference to your bf always asking you to perform a blow job on him, you don't ever have to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing, whatever the reason. Just as your bf may not like you doing certain things to him, he must also be ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend

Q.   I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend... I've been seen this guy for 3 months now and things are moving forward. However, every time we start getting intimate, I freak out and stop all interactions. I'm a virgin and this is the first pro...

A.   13 November 2017: It's ok to say no, it's ok to not be ready for sex, until you are absolutely ready for sex. You're still a virgin, so you've no practical experience and that's ok too. At present, you're in two states of mind. You want to, you don't want ... (read in full...)

Difficulty with old and new loyalties

Q.   Hi. I will try to make this brief but there is a lot going on in my life at the moment. I have been separated 6 years now coming to the end of a divorce although we are amicable my spouse wants still to be friends. We both have new partners alt...

A.   13 November 2017: You and your ex wife, despite everything you've stated, are getting divorced for a reason and no matter what your ex wife wants or expects from you, you cannot continually be there for her. You are no longer "her husband" and she must not treat yo... (read in full...)

Mixed up by his communication

Q.   I was dating this guy a while back. It's kind of a long story and I guess I just want some opinions on his actions or reasons why. I had moved to the city for some short term work. We had met at a bar but nothing really went further than tha...

A.   13 November 2017: It sounds as though he was getting together with you, one last time, to check you out properly and to check things out regarding you and he. It never should have happened anyway, because he admitted to you that he is seeing a new woman. Despite... (read in full...)

Led into a fantasy and I like it

Q.   The other night after having sex my girlfriend told me she wanted to do it again but that this time I could do whatever I wanted to her and she would let me. She said she would be my whore for the rest of the night. When we started up again she...

A.   13 November 2017: You should ALWAYS ONLY DO AS YOUR GF HAS GRANTED YOU PERMISSION TO DO and even then, do be VERY CAREFUL, because a bit of kinky, wild and aggressive fantasy play can seriously turn ugly and get you into very hot water. Seriously, you don't wa... (read in full...)

How much does having a girlfriend actually cost?

Q.   So, I was telling my roommate about my plans to build a new computer and media center for the living room, and he told me I should get a girlfriend (instead of appreciating my contributions to the house). While he might or might not be right, I ...

A.   13 November 2017: Unless you're dating a so called "Gold Digger", you've nothing to worry about. It's too hard to tell you EXACTLY what it would/wouldn't cost to have a gf. It could cost you much more than you currently spend, or it may cost around the same ... (read in full...)

I am the mother of five young girls and just found my boyfriend looking at teen girl porn

Q.   My boyfriend is looking teen porn almost every day. He promised me a couple months ago to never do it again when I found stuff that looked WAY too young and wrong. I about had a break down because I have 5 girls almost ready to be teenagers. How is ...

A.   10 November 2017: I'd say, break up with him, because he really does come across as sexually perverted. Any man watching "teen porn", i mean seriously. Why the need to watch young women having sex? Is it because he secretly gets very turned on by this or is ... (read in full...)

I've always been a people pleaser ... how can I stop?

Q.   I can’t stop worrying about what people will think of me - I have always been a people pleaser and have followed the “rules of life” to the T. I got two degreees and got a corporate jobs followe the path. Lately I have fallen in a financial hardship ...

A.   9 November 2017: Worry not at all about what others say about you. You are doing the best you can, to sort your life and your financial difficulties out and good on you for doing so! You are a hard worker and you have your pride. You are working two jobs to ... (read in full...)

Is online cheating okay?

Q.   OK! I found out that my boyfriend of 8 years has been going on adult dating sites looking for women to hook up he'd say he hopes they can come over see I'd stay at my daughters sometimes and baby sit. is cheating OK if there's no actual contact ...

A.   9 November 2017: Married or not, what your bf has done is unacceptable and inexcusable. What your bf is doing is called, "having an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR" with other women and that's just as dangerous and as bad as the real thing. Your bf sounds pretty immature ... (read in full...)

Why didnt he just tell me he didnt want o be with me anymore?

Q.   My ex of 5 years and I have recently broken up. For a couple of months I noticed him being extremely distant. I'd confront him about it and he tells me things at work aren't good and it's not allowing him to spend time with his son like he use to. I ...

A.   9 November 2017: Don't waste any more of your precious time on this guy. I don't know exactly what's transpired between the two of you, nor how often you both saw each other in person, however, this is not the way to break up with your gf after 5 long years. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my ex that I am pregnant with his child?

Q.   Hello. I don't know how to say this but I recently found out that I am pregnant with my ex's child. He is 34 and I am 21 turning 22 January. While we were dating he told me he doesn't mind having kids. We dated for 6 months until we started arguing ...

A.   9 November 2017: You have a few serious issues to contend with here and as you're pregnant, any excess stress carried isn't good for you or your baby. You should tell your ex that you are pregnant, as it's his child too and i'm sure, despite his shortcom... (read in full...)

I've worshipped this girl since I was 16! Do I tell her?

Q.   Basically, I've reconnected with a girl I had a relationship with in school. I was 16, she was 15 and we went out for about a year. She was my first love and in the end we mutually broke up for a number of reasons but it was not on bad or bitter ...

A.   9 November 2017: Your story is wonderful, so too, your strong and enduring feelings for this young lady, however, i would suggest that you take it very slowly. Do not tell her anything just yet. Give your renewed connection time and build an even stronger st... (read in full...)

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