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*emmenoir

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I'm pregnant and my boyfriend talks trash to me. Should I tell him that it hurts me?

Q.   I am pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. It was an accident. He wanted me to get pregnant tho. He was a player for a long time. He calls me names like whore, skank and bitch. He tells me to just deal with it. It's usually in bed but sometimes ...

A.   20 February 2018: I also wanted to add, when a person starts with verbal abuse, what could be next? Could he actually try to get physically violent with you? Who knows and you certainly cannot predict this with 100% accuracy. He's getting away with verbal... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and my boyfriend talks trash to me. Should I tell him that it hurts me?

Q.   I am pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. It was an accident. He wanted me to get pregnant tho. He was a player for a long time. He calls me names like whore, skank and bitch. He tells me to just deal with it. It's usually in bed but sometimes ...

A.   20 February 2018: There are a number of issues here, but the main issue is that, you're now pregnant with this guys child. You need to sit down and ask yourself what you really want in YOUR life and what YOU TRULY DESERVE. I'm sorry to hear that this is how your... (read in full...)

We text and fight, then meet, make up then make out! Now he wants to be just friends?

Q.   My boyfriend and I am in relationship from 4 months,we fight alot on texts.Almost every week we decide to break up.But when we meet, we just kiss amd make out ,there is no fight at all.Now again after fight he wants to be only friends.Will we be ...

A.   20 February 2018: You can still go to class, see him and do what you need to do, to get your life in order and to get ahead in your life, whereby your education is concerned. You simply treat this guy and his classmate, the same way you'd treat any classmat... (read in full...)

I need tips on getting a boyfriend!

Q.   How do I get a boyfriend? I'm lonely on Valentine's Day and I want to have someone to talk to and be in a relationship with. I want some pone who is like me and enjoys my hobbies. Do you have any tips or tricks to seem more open and approachable to ...

A.   16 February 2018: It's absolutely fine to have friends of the opposite gender at your age, SO LONG AS IT'S FULLY AND ONLY PLATONIC. It can, for many a teen, be quite hard, to remain fully platonic, if/when they find a guy/girl whom they really like and/or are real... (read in full...)

Should I message him again? Is this a technical issue?

Q.   Can someone please help me with a technical issue to do with text messaging? A man who is now an ex work colleague and who I am certain really likes me, but who knows I've recently had a very difficult time, let me know that he would like to se...

A.   16 February 2018: Sorry to sound rude, however, you're in your 40s and this situation sounds like a teen issue. You should simply get straight to the point and ring him. You will never know where you stand exactly, until you actually speak to him. Stop wor... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is insecure. What do I need to do from here?

Q.   I told my gf that we should catch up with an old friend of mine and she got jealous and upset. Ive known this friend for 15 years or so but havent seen them for 6-8 years, havent spoke to her for 3 years! Shes getting married and I tried to t...

A.   16 February 2018: UNLESS you've done something to break your gfs trust, then what your gf is doing is wrong, immature and very manipulative. I guess meeting with this other woman all depends upon your past history with this woman. Did you and your friend both... (read in full...)

I treated her good but she ghosted me, I still want her back.

Q.   Asking for advice,over a year ago, my ex girlfriend ghost me, no contact since, she didn't even say goodbye,I didn't do anything wrong, but treat her special,what I am asking is ,would it be stupid, in my part to try to contact her,I know every one ...

A.   16 February 2018: Also, what's happened to you is just testament to the fact that the right and more appropriate person is still awaiting you to cross paths with them. Your ideal suitor is out there, but you've yet to meet. Just look at this failed relations... (read in full...)

I treated her good but she ghosted me, I still want her back.

Q.   Asking for advice,over a year ago, my ex girlfriend ghost me, no contact since, she didn't even say goodbye,I didn't do anything wrong, but treat her special,what I am asking is ,would it be stupid, in my part to try to contact her,I know every one ...

A.   16 February 2018: You are wasting every moment of your life and your precious time awaiting anything of/from this woman that you once dated. She isn't coming back, this i'm almost 110% certain of and even if she did, would you be naive, silly and desperate enough, ... (read in full...)

We text and fight, then meet, make up then make out! Now he wants to be just friends?

Q.   My boyfriend and I am in relationship from 4 months,we fight alot on texts.Almost every week we decide to break up.But when we meet, we just kiss amd make out ,there is no fight at all.Now again after fight he wants to be only friends.Will we be ...

A.   16 February 2018: Please stop wasting your time with this guy and within this peculiar and immature relationship. You are deserving of so much more and surely you must know that you can do much better. You take the higher ground and do what's best for you, me... (read in full...)

He treats me like a friend, but gets catty when I talk to other guys

Q.   I've been talking to this guy and he shows interest but then he acts like we're just friends and gets jealous when I talk to other guys, I like him too but I want to know why hes being catty? If that what it even is, ...

A.   16 February 2018: You're going to have to get to the point with this guy. If you really like him and would like to pursue a relationship with him, then be direct with him and tell him. His response will be either, yes or no. Either is acceptable and fine, rig... (read in full...)

I don't have a partner, it makes me sad. What am I doing wrong?

Q.   I am 32 and single for nearly nine years. At this time of the year my loneliness feels suffocating and I’m finding it extremely difficult to cope with the fact that there is no telling whether I will spend the next nine years or more alone.Given my ...

A.   16 February 2018: You must firstly come, to the absolute realisation, that what you're currently doing, simply isn't working, so now, you must try a totally different tactic. You should join local groups & many actually cost nothing. Many are actually designe... (read in full...)

I’m not comfortable with my boyfriend’s contact with a woman I’ve never met, and don’t think knows he has a girlfriend!

Q.   I have an odd situation going on here, i am with my bf for 3 years and one if his female friend whom I never met calls him to ask whether he would do a minor fix in her car. Of course my bf being so nicr said fine. When she vistied his house th...

A.   13 February 2018: This is actually very simple to resolve. You simply demand to speak to your bf, IN PERSON and if he chooses to ignore you, then you make it clear to him, that you won't allow any disrespect within your relationship and you expect him to show you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn’t give me attention!

Q.   Well I have been with my bf for a few months now. I have noticed that I have been the absolute only on carrying the relationship. I have a giving heart and that sometimes make a me look real stupid. My heart is pure and I tend to give it to the ...

A.   13 February 2018: The real issue here, it's staring you right in the face. It's YOU and your absolute caring and giving nature, but you are also quite naive, in that you think that spoiling this guy and doing everything for him is somehow going to win him over. ... (read in full...)

I want my pastor to treat me as he does others

Q.   OK my head is frying and I have no one I can talk to about this without it ending up a mess. My pastor is hurting and confusing me! I am a young single mum to a 8 year old. I find life though sometimes. My pastor came out too see me 3 times in...

A.   13 February 2018: It does sound as though you & your pastor are getting way too close for comfort, even if this wasn't ever your plan. You are not 15, so logic would dictate, that you ought know better as to what your Pastor's true motives are. A professiona... (read in full...)

Married and seriously falling for my doctor

Q.   I am head over heels for my surgeon. I have been seeing him for about 4-5 months and my feelings keep getting stronger. There was only one time when I thought he might be interested. He told me I had a nice smile and put his hand on my thigh. Since ...

A.   24 January 2018: You are about to get yourself into seriously hot water, or land yourself, on the front page of a major newspaper, along with your doctor, if this madness continues. It'll be much more than 1st, 2nd or 3rd degree burns!! You say you don't really... (read in full...)

Do I mean anything to him? Why is he with me if he doesn't see a future with us?

Q.   Some background: I (27 years old) have been seeing this man (33 years old) for four months now. We get along incredibly well and always have fun together. It is very comfortable when we are around each other and we naturally give off an impressi...

A.   23 January 2018: I was going to suggest everything the other readers have mentioned. I agree with Honeypie. Four months is not long enough to get to know somebody properly and it's actually a bit too early to be making more concrete, future decisions, s... (read in full...)

He is very confused, should I give up?

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm 25 years old homosexual guy. two months ago I met a guy on Skype (who lives not so away from me). At first we talked like friends, but then we started flirting and now it seems that we like each other very much. we talk on Skype...

A.   23 January 2018: Hi, firstly, there's nothing wrong with your English. You've done very well! :-) This guy you like very much, that's great, but he must also show you the same courtesy and not simply by way of Skype most nights and late at night. The ma... (read in full...)

Strong mutual attraction with my married supervisor. Should I continue working with him?

Q.   So I just completed my first year in a master's program at a pretty prestigious university and I'm held at very high standards due to the field I'm working in. For the next year I am required to complete several hundred hours of an internship before ...

A.   23 January 2018: Hi, i would also like to add, it's important to always carry yourself with dignity. When you do this, you will be able to live with yourself much more easily. When we do the wrong things, especially intentionally, our lives become too com... (read in full...)

Strong mutual attraction with my married supervisor. Should I continue working with him?

Q.   So I just completed my first year in a master's program at a pretty prestigious university and I'm held at very high standards due to the field I'm working in. For the next year I am required to complete several hundred hours of an internship before ...

A.   23 January 2018: Do not flirt with him, EVER and do not give him ANY type of warning signs/green lights, that you are into him. Believe it or not, YOU, yes YOU, are the creator of a major part of this situation. You are a smart, grown woman, so you know what's ... (read in full...)

We had plans, should I keep him as a friend?

Q.   I have been friends with this guy for a year now and we have recently gotten pretty close. se seemed like a really easy going person and cool guy to hang out with. He really opens up about his life and we have many deep conversations. Well this past ...

A.   23 November 2017: I would not advise you to keep this guy as your friend. He has already proven to be a big let down and he lied to you above all else. Even a friendship cannot be sustained by 'his actions". For any type of relationship to work lon... (read in full...)

How do I tell him his breath smells?

Q.   I am seeing the most amazing person I have ever met, but I have a problem. His breath always smells and I have no idea how to bring this sensitive subject up without hurting his feelings. I did not notice it at first, but recently I have become ...

A.   23 November 2017: Firstly, bad breath (halitosis) is quite a common issue, even if you do brush your teeth daily. There are MANY things that can cause bad breath, but the primary factors that cause bad breath are, -Poor oral hygiene -Obvious illness ... (read in full...)

I've never cheated but my husband is accusing me off it because he says I am "loose"

Q.   am a young woman of 25yrs I have two children all through c section,av never slept with any other man for the past six years.my spouse is accusing me of cheating because my vagaina is loose he had started an affair outside..am shattered what can be ...

A.   22 November 2017: Your husband is very abusive and is using this pitiful "excuse", as HIS EXCUSE to behave abusively and sleazily toward you. He is a horrible person and i can assure you that your vagina is not loose, as HE CLAIMS IT TO BE. A woman's vagina i... (read in full...)

Can you help explain my boyfriend's strange behaviour?

Q.   I have a bizarre problem! I've been seeing my boyfriend for ten months and we often go away and stay at hotels but the thing is he picks me up after work about 3pm then when we arrive at our hotel he wants to literally go to bed straightaway and ...

A.   22 November 2017: Why don't you try a totally different tactic here? When he asks you to go to the hotel with him, let him know that you won't be this time around, as you don't like the way he's acting and be totally upfront with him about exactly what you like/dis... (read in full...)

I'm like a weekend hobby for my boyfriend while his sister and nephew are his real family

Q.   I have been dating a guy in a long distance relationship for 2 years. He lives 50 miles away and I only see him at weekends. In the week he lives with his widowed sister and works with her son to help him out as he is retired. The other week for the ...

A.   22 November 2017: You shouldn't simply SETTLE for a man, just because YOU like him. Your bf lives far away from you and it's little wonder the two of you aren't closer. You simply haven't spent enough one on one time together and no relationship can stand this t... (read in full...)

I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...

A.   22 November 2017: Oh i do sincerely apologise, as i meant to refer to you as your partner's girlfriend, not his wife! I should make note, my msg is still relevant, with the exception that you're both not married to one another, however, if you do love him enough t... (read in full...)

I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...

A.   22 November 2017: For your own sake, please LET GO of the past and specifically, "your husband's past". It's actually quite easy to do. You don't dwell on it, you don't waste all of your time thinking about it and what transpired before. You are comparing YOU... (read in full...)

I'm married but starting to get obsessed with the guy my husband and I had a threesome with

Q.   Over a year ago my husband and i had a sexual threesome with a single male friend of ours after a night of drinking...this was totally my husbands idea..I was always attracted to this friend but had no intentions of taking it any furthur, even ...

A.   22 November 2017: You should either work very hard at saving or salvaging what's left of your marriage, or file for divorce. You can't go on indefinitely, playing games between your husband and your lover. Your husband actually deserves more from you.... (read in full...)

I'm married but starting to get obsessed with the guy my husband and I had a threesome with

Q.   Over a year ago my husband and i had a sexual threesome with a single male friend of ours after a night of drinking...this was totally my husbands idea..I was always attracted to this friend but had no intentions of taking it any furthur, even ...

A.   22 November 2017: My question? Did you ever love your husband in the first place? From all you've written about your husband, i believe i can answer that one for you. I doubt it very much! You're clearly obsessed by this guy and you've already broken th... (read in full...)

He's taken my wife. Should I be worried?

Q.   my wife an I have been married for 3 years. however things have been interesting for last 18 months. we have a neighbour Raymond who is divorced for a long time and is 44. he has two girls about 8 and 12. me and my wife are both 28. however 18 ...

A.   22 November 2017: I think you're "taking the Micky" out of all of us. Your story sounds pretty "weird" to say the least. If you are legit, surely you know the truth?! Your wife's made her decision hasn't she? The worst and saddest part. You guys don't ... (read in full...)

The guy I've liked from afar is being a little wierd

Q.   Hi, I need some advice, I haven't dated in ages, I am 43, just went through a rough patch with major losses, illness etc, now better but I am still fragile. Anyway, since last year I meet maybe every 2/3 months this guy through work, older (I ...

A.   22 November 2017: Have you thought about joining a local social group for people who have lost a loved one? There are such groups around and i'm thinking it may really help you on a number of levels. I know you mentioned that you're going to "therapy" groups... (read in full...)

My confidence is wrecked, I regret telling people the truth about my ex boyfriend.

Q.   I just want to vent about a situation that still bothers me. Basically I had a 6 month relationship with a guy I worked with. He was the first person I'd been with after my marriage broke up. I guess because I was vulnerable and feeling really crap ...

A.   20 November 2017: It's never easy, nor fair, when these things happen to us, HOWEVER, what's truly most important, is that you've learnt from this experience. NO life experience, good or bad, is ever a waste of time, because ALL experiences teach us importan... (read in full...)

I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.

Q.   I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...

A.   20 November 2017: Sorry, a typo made within my previous reply. Never, ever be too trusting of somebody you've just met or don't know very well. Also, think about this. If you really liked a guy and he sent you images of his penis, either flaccid or erect,... (read in full...)

The guy I've liked from afar is being a little wierd

Q.   Hi, I need some advice, I haven't dated in ages, I am 43, just went through a rough patch with major losses, illness etc, now better but I am still fragile. Anyway, since last year I meet maybe every 2/3 months this guy through work, older (I ...

A.   20 November 2017: Thank you for your reply and it's nice to hear your thoughts. I'm sorry to hear that you've only just lost your Father and haven't been well, but do know, that in time, you will begin to see the light again and life will be much more enjoyabl... (read in full...)

Am I reasonable to choose money over potential happiness?

Q.   Dear aunts, I am in a fix as I type this. I made a first attempt at online dating about 7 months ago and the only guy I really had an interest in, we hit it off. It was rocky at first but we are amazing now and not a day goes by without us chatting ...

A.   20 November 2017: Also, you've stated that you reside in the US, yet you tell the reader you live in Africa. Why?... (read in full...)

Am I reasonable to choose money over potential happiness?

Q.   Dear aunts, I am in a fix as I type this. I made a first attempt at online dating about 7 months ago and the only guy I really had an interest in, we hit it off. It was rocky at first but we are amazing now and not a day goes by without us chatting ...

A.   20 November 2017: Honestly, you have tried to start something with somebody else, all based on untruths and lies. You should have informed this guy, from the BEGINNING, that you do not work, haven't worked for 5 long years and cannot support yourself. Simply ... (read in full...)

The guy I've liked from afar is being a little wierd

Q.   Hi, I need some advice, I haven't dated in ages, I am 43, just went through a rough patch with major losses, illness etc, now better but I am still fragile. Anyway, since last year I meet maybe every 2/3 months this guy through work, older (I ...

A.   20 November 2017: I have had personal experience with this situation and i didn't allow anything more to come of "his moves". In the end, he was fired, because he was caught sleazing onto somebody else! This is what these men do, they will try with one and if ... (read in full...)

The guy I've liked from afar is being a little wierd

Q.   Hi, I need some advice, I haven't dated in ages, I am 43, just went through a rough patch with major losses, illness etc, now better but I am still fragile. Anyway, since last year I meet maybe every 2/3 months this guy through work, older (I ...

A.   20 November 2017: This guy is not a SERIOUS GUY and doesn't appear to have a true interest in anything serious with you. You guys meet up at these work meetings and it's all very casual. Casual meetings, casual moves, on his part and very odd ones at that! ... (read in full...)

I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.

Q.   I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...

A.   20 November 2017: I should also add, you've already turned this guy on with your "nude image", you've "titillated" his senses by way of "visual temptation" and now he wants the "real thing". Ask yourself, is this how i really want to be treated/viewed by a guy that... (read in full...)

I sent him a nude, I hope he hasn't lost respect for me.

Q.   I posted a while ago saying i had a met a man with quite an usual job- he's a travel author (fairly successful). He is 35 years old, is in the public eye quite a lot and has a lot of female attention. I went on 2 dates with him back in june but then ...

A.   20 November 2017: You sent this guy a "nude image" of yourself and then he "suddenly" ramps up his interest in you. Can you see the connection here? See this a "red flag", because by offering your body to him via text/social media, has made him "see" you as an ... (read in full...)

Do I fight to keep her or let her go?

Q.   So out of the blue my fiance has broken up with me, we've been together almost 3 years and engaged since May. I love her and want to be with her, she says it's because of my messiness and it's effect on her mental health. I've never been this ope...

A.   20 November 2017: Thanks for your update and i'm sorry to hear that both you and your fiance have depression and anxiety and on top of that your fiance has cyclothymia. I can imagine that it would be very hard for you, to understand her sudden mood changes,... (read in full...)

How can I learn my value?

Q.   How Can I learn my value? I am insecure and I have let people walk over me - use me- and leave me - friends and lovers . I have worked on the outside (lost the weight - got the degrees - got a better corporate job) but I still fear saying no- I ...

A.   17 November 2017: Reading through your post, i could "completely relate" and it was as though i was reading about my "former" self. I was EXACTLY like you, so i really get where you're coming from. You know, you DON'T need to become a harder, colder or differ... (read in full...)

Is it too much to hope that things might work out with my ex?

Q.   My ex text me after a week. After breaking up, briefly getting back together, then breaking up again, my ex text me asking how I was. We'd been having difficulties for a while because I just felt that my bf wasn't giving me any of his time. He was...

A.   17 November 2017: You've written in recently and i remember replying to your question, so too, many others with smart and well meaning advice. Sorry to sound rude, however, did you read everybody's comments? If so, most of us advised you to NOT get back with yo... (read in full...)

Do I fight to keep her or let her go?

Q.   So out of the blue my fiance has broken up with me, we've been together almost 3 years and engaged since May. I love her and want to be with her, she says it's because of my messiness and it's effect on her mental health. I've never been this ope...

A.   15 November 2017: You're not an alcoholic, a thief, a gambler, a womaniser, a drug addict, so i don't see why you being "messy," is enough for your ex fiancee, to break up with you after 3 long years. Whilst i don't like mess myself, i certainly wouldn't break up... (read in full...)

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