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*emmenoir

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How can I be happy doing what I do at home?

Q.   im a 34 stay at home mom for 11 years. im grateful to raise my 3 kids, but im depressed being at home cleaning and taking care of the house. this last year i started drinking in the day.. at first it made cleaning more fun, but i need to change. i ...

A.   6 October 2015: Hi, i also forgot to mention, that you could employ in home based cleaning services, once per week, per fortnight, per month, whatever you can afford and prefer. It obviously depends upon you and your husbands personal financial situat... (read in full...)

How can I be happy doing what I do at home?

Q.   im a 34 stay at home mom for 11 years. im grateful to raise my 3 kids, but im depressed being at home cleaning and taking care of the house. this last year i started drinking in the day.. at first it made cleaning more fun, but i need to change. i ...

A.   6 October 2015: Hi, you could get involved in an online hobby/business, working solely from home, if your 3 children are still at home and not yet at daycare, pre-school(kindergarten), or primary school. You could get involved in your local community, throu... (read in full...)

I'm missing my ex although he was never the guy that would make me happy!?

Q.   I feel like my heart is falling apart. I broke up w/my ex a week ago. I was the one who ended it, I am extremely broken. I wanted so bad for the relationship to work. When I started having doubts I approached him in a mature manner and he accused me ...

A.   5 October 2015: Hi, what you're feeling is quite normal and in many ways, to be expected, after coming out of a relationship, although you don't mention how long the two of you were together. I am assuming that you were together for quite a lengthy period o... (read in full...)

My partner is a virgin. She keeps stalling about starting our physical relationship. What is there to "think about"?

Q.   My partner nearly admitted to me that she is a virgin as I think she is as when I approached the subject of us taking our relationship a little further and asked did she want to stay the night with her replying with could she think about. What i...

A.   5 October 2015: Hi, your gf is obviously not yet ready to have sex with you, it's this simple. Whatever her reason/s is/are for not wanting to take this next and huge step, is totally her right and if you continue to press this subject and pressure her, sh... (read in full...)

When I'm having some "special me time", I can't orgasm. What do I need to do to address this problem?

Q.   Lately when I'm having some "special me time", I can't orgasm. Like, suddenly I get too sensitive down there, and I have to stop. I have to. It's not the sense of too much sensation like "I'm about to orgasm", it's too much sensation like "...

A.   3 October 2015: Hi again, thank you for filling me in, as to your exact situation. This helps a lot. I had suspected that you were not feeling fully relaxed, safe, feeling somewhat uncomfortable and maybe even a wee bit nervous. Most of your negative fee... (read in full...)

When I'm having some "special me time", I can't orgasm. What do I need to do to address this problem?

Q.   Lately when I'm having some "special me time", I can't orgasm. Like, suddenly I get too sensitive down there, and I have to stop. I have to. It's not the sense of too much sensation like "I'm about to orgasm", it's too much sensation like "...

A.   3 October 2015: Hi, from what you're describing, it sounds like it could be a myriad of factors that are somewhat 'getting in the way' of you being able to orgasm successfully. I am unsure as to how long you've been having this exact problem, or as to whether... (read in full...)

She's stopped making eye contact! How do I let her know I really like her?

Q.   Hello - Please help!! I have a girl in my office who earlier smiles at me while having eye contacts, she even mirrored me, she use to play with hairs while looking at me, she tried to talk to me. But, when i tried to make an eye contact with her, ...

A.   1 October 2015: Hi, you must stop looking at her, as of now and please stop making eye contact with her also. Her 'sudden change', may be based upon numerous factors, however, the most obvious factor, is that she is sending you the signal and hint to pretty m... (read in full...)

Can we make this work? Is it a healthy or a toxic relationship?

Q.   This relationship has me so confused that I can no longer think straight as the reality of what’s going on. I met my boyfriend about 3 years ago on an online dating website. We are both in our mid 20’s. We met each other after a week and he moved in ...

A.   30 September 2015: Hi, every previous reader has pretty much summed it up, but i will add my thoughts. I would strongly encourage you to visit your local GP as soon as possible and ask for a referral, to see a counsellor and/or psychologist. This way you ca... (read in full...)

Is it too dangerous for me to be delivering pizza?

Q.   This isn't a relationship question but I would like the honest opinions if the people here on dearcupid. I am a 20 year old girl and a college student. I have been hired as a part time pizza delivery driver for a local pizza place. At fi...

A.   30 September 2015: Hi, I used to be a pizza delivery girl and i didn't enjoy it, from a safety standpoint. Please deliver with caution, if you do decide to go ahead with it. What i found, was that men in general, would give me a hard time, after i knocked on... (read in full...)

How do I educate people about my thyroid disorder?

Q.   I am suffering from hashimotos thyroid I'm only 20 years old if you dont know what hashimotos thyroid is its when your auto immune system attacks your thyroid in your neck and slows it down causing you to have hypothyroidism its a cronic disease ...

A.   29 September 2015: Hi, very simply, carry within your backpack and/or handbag, many copies, about your condition and of what your condition entails and if/when, you encounter tricky situations, you can hand a copy over to the 'other' person. This way, you needn't... (read in full...)

I wonder if maybe my ex was the one? But I really like this new man!

Q.   Hi all, Me and my boyfriend of two and a half years broke up about 5/6 weeks ago now. WeWeren't making each other happy and the break up was fairly mutual, he had suggest breaking up two weeks previous to this. Before breaking up I met anothe...

A.   29 September 2015: Hi, i have read your msg very carefully and from all you've said, it appears that you and your ex aren't truthfully an ideal match. I would not encourage you to go back to him at all, although some people decide to remain as friends, but thi... (read in full...)

My boyfriend just told me he would not be able to resist really good looking women ....

Q.   My boyfriend of 2 years and I were discussing our plans to go travelling overseas, where he told me we would need to stay away from certain countries where there are "extremely good looking women" because he wouldn't be able to control himself. He ...

A.   28 September 2015: Hi, what your bf of two years has just admitted to you, isn't respectful, polite, nor considerate and nice. Only you know your bf better, than any of us within this site, so i will ask you. Was your bf tipsy and/or drunk when he made this ... (read in full...)

Is it weird that I'm not interested in dating?

Q.   I guess I don't quite know how to put this in the form of a question. Basically I'm just curious if it's really so bad to not have an interest in dating? I have told myself that I'm most likely asexual although I'm attracted to men, j...

A.   28 September 2015: Hi, from all you've stated, i personally don't think that you're asexual. I think with 'time' and with a bit of professional help, in the area of your 'self-esteem', i think you'll be more comfortable and feel more confident in meeting and pote... (read in full...)

Is it possible for someone to sleep 12 hours a day for weeks at a time?

Q.   Is it possible for someone to sleep 12 hours a day consistently for weeks??? He sleeps at 3am every night and doesn't wake up until 3pm or later in the afternoon! Then he takes his time to get up, shower, and go get food to eat. Then he rests a bit ...

A.   28 September 2015: Hi, as the first reader mentioned, all these things are possible, however, it may be as simple as this guy just having created a very bad habit and one that will require some professional assistance, to be able to change. The good news is, pr... (read in full...)

I'm 30 and still not married, I'm starting to feel anxious

Q.   I am a 30 yr old woman who is not married and I'm staring to get a little anxious. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life and without going into detail, they just didn't work out. I have now been single for a little over a year. I know...

A.   27 September 2015: Hi again, you can also have your own eggs retrieved and frozen, but do so before you're 46, as otherwise, your only main option to getting pregnant, will be to use 'donor' eggs. In most Westernised and Industrialised nations that perform IVF... (read in full...)

I'm 30 and still not married, I'm starting to feel anxious

Q.   I am a 30 yr old woman who is not married and I'm staring to get a little anxious. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life and without going into detail, they just didn't work out. I have now been single for a little over a year. I know...

A.   26 September 2015: Hi, i will let you know, that you are not too old to have children and even if you did marry a little later in life, you'd still be able to have children. It can get harder to conceive as we age, however, it is commonly and widely assumed i... (read in full...)

Been divorced for ten years and happy now. But now my emotionally abusive ex wants to come back and live with me since the death of her partner. How do I refuse my ex-wife's request?

Q.   I have an ex wife who was continuously unfaithful to me and was abusive, she divorced me about 10 years ago. I have been much happier since our divorce. We have a daughter together who is now 17. She moved in with me about a year ago after confid...

A.   25 September 2015: Hi, I would encourage you strongly, to say a big 'NO'! No matter what your ex wife tells you and no matter what line she comes up with. You sound like a really caring guy, with a good heart, however, you both ended your marriage for there w... (read in full...)

How am I supposed to continue into the future with someone as spiteful as she has been towards me?

Q.   I've been dating this girl on and off for a little over three years and I just recently found out that whilst we weren't together for a short period of time, she had sex with a guy that was clearly my enemy, but she didn't come clean about it until ...

A.   25 September 2015: Hi, quite simply, you've both done the wrong thing, you've both messed up, i'm sorry to say. It isn't actually about who's right or who's wrong. Yes, your gf slept with another guy, a guy that you know and whatever her motives were, it was... (read in full...)

Advice please? should I contact him first?

Q.   So I went on a date with a guy on Saturday night, it's now Monday evening and I still haven't heard anything- should I contact him first? Any advice appreciated Thank you...

A.   22 September 2015: Hi, i would encourage you to 'NOT' contact him, but allow 'HIM' to ring you, if and when he's free and able, pertaining to the simple fact, that he is truly interested in you. If you don't hear from him at all, after say 1 full week, take that... (read in full...)

Am I wrong for not wanting him to have contact with his ex girlfriend?

Q.   I've been dating a guy for the passed 2 months and he still works with his ex girlfriend. They had only broken up 2 month proir to us dating and they was together for 2 years. I had told him when we first started dating that i think it is a little...

A.   22 September 2015: Hi, i would strongly encourage you to be brave here and take that positive leap forward and think about letting go of this guy and move on. There are numerous and pretty overt, significant 'red flags' here and it's actually up to 'YOU', to ma... (read in full...)

Parents won't let me go. What do I do?

Q.   Hello. I am having issues with my parents. I am 23 years old, chinese, female, and the youngest in my family, as well as my generation. I understand there is a degree of overprotectiveness, but ive had enough of it. I graduated from college (wh...

A.   22 September 2015: Hi again, i also forgot to mention, that if your mother is calling you 'lazy' and asking you to work, work, work, then this is your time to show her that this is exactly what you want to do and you can actually get more done, when you're out on yo... (read in full...)

Parents won't let me go. What do I do?

Q.   Hello. I am having issues with my parents. I am 23 years old, chinese, female, and the youngest in my family, as well as my generation. I understand there is a degree of overprotectiveness, but ive had enough of it. I graduated from college (wh...

A.   22 September 2015: Hi, you are over 18, so you have the right to make self-informed decisions, as a young adult, regardless of what your parents say and regardless of how they feel. Always be respectful toward your parents and let them know that you love them and... (read in full...)

Should I confront a cheat?

Q.   Whilst I was browsing on a free online dating site I came across my friend whos girlfriend is eight months pregnant. What shall I do. I've known my friend since school, at school I had a crush on him and decades later I asked him out, which he...

A.   21 September 2015: Hi, ultimately, it's up to you to do what you feel is right and acceptable. The fact is that you have solid evidence, by way of having seen him online and if his gf were to require solid eveidence, proof, well, she'd have it 100%, especially... (read in full...)

Why would my young chatty, sweet coworker turn on me and complain to my senior about me?

Q.   Hi, I really can't understand this girl. I met her through my work and we seemed to get in and chat away even about things that didn't link to the work I was doing for her. She's young, attractive and always chatty and sweet. Recently she c...

A.   21 September 2015: You have just stated the obvious. You flirted with her! May i ask, why and what were your overall intentions? You obviously have a thing for her and i suspect because she is 'young', 'attractive' and 'chatty'. You are much older than her it ap... (read in full...)

Please give me advice, guidance or reassurance about moving to marry him!

Q.   Hi, My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years, 1 of which is long distance. I moved continent (not even country) and we've been trying to make it work ever since. We are very sure we want to get married soon because we love eachothe...

A.   21 September 2015: Hi, i would strongly encourage you to apply for as many jobs as possible, prior to moving overseas, before taking serious risks and making such a huge sacrifice for your own working future. You are so young and whilst not too many men and wome... (read in full...)

I'm heartbroken about how my daughters are treating me! What should I do?

Q.   last week was my nephews 18 birthday celebration. my 2 daughters declined the meal making excuses. whilst we were having our meal my daughters were outside with my grandson in a procession that was happening. we had no idea. the next day on Faceb...

A.   18 September 2015: Hi, thank you for replying and letting us know what happened in your life, within your marriage. I know it must be very hard and painful for you, to have to bring, all of this information up again. I have read your msg and i fully understan... (read in full...)

Did I just lose my virginity?

Q.   hi, I'm 18 yrs old and I fingered myself then it just started bleeding Does it mean that I have lost my virginity?? Will it bleed when i have actual sex?...

A.   17 September 2015: Hi, i wanted to add a few things, that i forgot to mention within my prior msg. You may not bleed now, after you have actual sex, because if it is, that you did rupture your hymen whilst fingering yourself, then you're unlikely to bleed ag... (read in full...)

Was he just frustrated sexually and I was just there?

Q.   Hello, I really need some help. I'm 16 and I recently made a terrible mistake. I needed help with a college project so asked a guy I knew (my dads friends son) to help as he had already done a similar thing. He's 18 and has a girlfriend of 14 ...

A.   17 September 2015: Hi, this guy is a non-trustworthy person, who did the wrong thing morally, behind his Christian gfs back, period. I suspect he was just itching to have sex with a woman and as you were there, he decided that he'd have sex with you. I don... (read in full...)

Did I just lose my virginity?

Q.   hi, I'm 18 yrs old and I fingered myself then it just started bleeding Does it mean that I have lost my virginity?? Will it bleed when i have actual sex?...

A.   17 September 2015: Hi, from what you have just described, you may have ruptured your hymen, which is a very thin membrane covering your vagina, that prior to full penatrative sexual intercourse, usually remains intact, unless of course, something foreign has been... (read in full...)

I'm heartbroken about how my daughters are treating me! What should I do?

Q.   last week was my nephews 18 birthday celebration. my 2 daughters declined the meal making excuses. whilst we were having our meal my daughters were outside with my grandson in a procession that was happening. we had no idea. the next day on Faceb...

A.   16 September 2015: Hi, every previous reader, has pretty much summed it up in full, especially Abella! I was going to say the very same things to you, but as they've been said, all i will add, is that you need to step back for sure. By trying to plead with... (read in full...)

My fiance has become the "Church lady" and I don't know how to deal with it

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together about 6 ½ years. Last winter we told our friends and families that we intend to marry someday soon. No ring but we went that far, so I guess she’s my fiancé. We are both in our 40’s. She has children, nearly g...

A.   16 September 2015: Hi, your partner must understand, that you are 'you' and she cannot force religion upon you, nor 'her' religious convictions. It's up to you, to sit her down and have a serious talk with her. You must tell her everything that you're feeling a... (read in full...)

Now I find that he's separated, not divorced. Is it reasonable that I'm now anxious about our relationship?

Q.   About six months ago I worked with a guy that I really liked but I just got out of a relationship, not ready to date yet :( Well we recently reconnected about two months ago and started seeing each other which at first was really great! Super co...

A.   7 September 2015: Hi, i would strongly advise you to go straight to the horses mouth and ask him exactly what is going on. Ask him in a calm, rational, non-judgemental and non-pushy manner, why he didn't inform you earlier on, that he is seperated, not d... (read in full...)

If you have to tell yourself that you're not a lesbian does that mean you're hiding (your sexual preference) or not accepting it?

Q.   If you have to tell yourself you're not a lesbian, does that mean you're hiding it and just not accepting it? Because I keep telling myself that i'm not since I can't stop having compulsive, obsessive thoughts about my sexuality. I know. I KNOW...

A.   28 August 2015: Hi, oh absolutely!! I have experienced this and my sexual orientation when i was 15, 16 and 17, was very confusing to me. Although i didn't have sex until much later in life, as young as 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17, i was actually much more attracted... (read in full...)

Trouble with Boyfriend, Should I stay? He's jealous and controlling

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating 2 and a half years. About a year into our relationship, we had a lot of problems with him being jealous and controlling, and I broke up with him for about a month. He begged for me back, showed up at my parent’s...

A.   27 August 2015: Hi, you are still young and with all due respect, probably too young to fully comprehend what true love anda true commitment mean. When i was your age, i too, didn't have any idea about what was right, wrong, or what i should or shouldn't do wi... (read in full...)

Can men and women just be friends? Or does he want more even though he has a GF?

Q.   Hi, So...I've been at a new job for a year now and my manager wasn't around for the first half, he was travelling but ever since he returned we're constantly teasing each other, going out of our way to wind the other up and I was just taking as f...

A.   27 August 2015: Hi, you do what you know is right and sincere, regardless of what he wants or does. Surely you wouldn't wish to hang out with this man, even if he is your manager and the fact that he has a partner already means that if you chose to be alone wi... (read in full...)

Can men and women just be friends? Or does he want more even though he has a GF?

Q.   Hi, So...I've been at a new job for a year now and my manager wasn't around for the first half, he was travelling but ever since he returned we're constantly teasing each other, going out of our way to wind the other up and I was just taking as f...

A.   27 August 2015: Hi, you do what you know is right and sincere, regardless of what he wants or does. Surely you wouldn't wish to hang out with this man, even if he is your manager and the fact that he has a partner already means that if you chose to be alone wi... (read in full...)

Are good guys generally not so hot in bed

Q.   I am struggling to meet a guy I fancy and would want for a future and who is an average/good lover. The good guys who are trustworthy, kind, warm and solid seem to lack that intense fizz and passion. I am no spring chicken and far from perfect...

A.   27 August 2015: Hi, well i am glad to say that you're wrong, so too, your friends! Whilst some good guys may be not so good in bed, there must be wild guys who aren't so good in bed either. Actually, i've met a few myself. In life, there are pros and c... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says that he owns me and will say he wants to hurt me during sex. Is this the beginning of an abusive relationship?

Q.   I started dating my boyfriend coming up for a year now. I'm 25 and he's 45. From the moment we met we got on great and always love being in each others company. But a few months ago I had a night out and he went very weird with me saying he didn't ...

A.   27 August 2015: Hi, He is using you, as he knows you won't fire back and he has seen your weaknesses already. Remember, he is older, wiser and he is very CUNNING! You are his 'PRIZED POSSESSION' unfortunately. He says he owns you, so please don't foolishly mista... (read in full...)

He made a remark that upset me. Should I say something to my boyfriend's friend or just let it go?

Q.   I was at the beach yesterday with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends were there to meet me for the first time and hang out with us. I was in a 2 piece suit but you could still see a bit of skin. I was devastated when I over heard his...

A.   27 August 2015: Hi, this is just not on, is it? Unfortunately, this is the type of world in which we live, but this doesn't make it ok, nor acceptable, to say whatever we want about whomever. My dad always tells me, you need thick skin to survive in this... (read in full...)

How do I carry myself forward and ensure that I do NOT go back to him and ensure that I move myself into Normalcy?

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm here for emotional support and help. I just broke my 6 years of relationship with my EX-boyfriend which I'm stressing on because it's hard to believe that he's ex. I got into this relationship when I was 17.. the guy had slowly m...

A.   27 August 2015: Hi, i am happy to have read your post and to be able to give you some advice. I would advise you VERY STRONGLY to never, ever go back to this man. No matter what, even if he should beg, grovel, nag, cry, seduce you with words or actions, wh... (read in full...)

My B/f said, "'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them"

Q.   I've been with a man for almost a year and only recently been sexually active with him. He recently made a comment 'not to sound rude but you have a lot of stretch marks baby maybe you should do something about them' I told them they are all ...

A.   26 August 2015: Hi, you are who you are, your body is your temple and it is what it is, warts and all and if your bf doesn't respect you enough, to love you as you are, then he is the one, not worth having in your life. I so feel for you, he is horrible for... (read in full...)

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