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*yespy17

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Tonight I learned my husband may be cheating again

Q.   My husband's iphone beeped tonight with an SMS coming in, while we were in the car together. He was driving, so i just picked up the phone for him, and happened to notice a female name that i didn't recognise, and a message saying "is it ok to txt ...

A.   20 November 2011: I am so sorry. You are right - you cannot fix the coldness in his heart or make him appreciate you the way he should and you deserve to be treated. Give the therapy more time if you want -- or Maybe some time apart?... (read in full...)

Is she interested? Whenever we are together all she does is talk about other guys!

Q.   I have a girlfriend, who I think is totally amazing. She tells me she misses me, that she loves me, and wants to be with me forever. That's all when she texts me, when we're in person, she constantly talks about other men. I don't mean every 6 ...

A.   18 November 2011: Oh, I didn't realize it was famous people. Than that's nothing. Forget about it ...... (read in full...)

He was too cool, but I still see his old personality

Q.   My ex and i broke up after a year about a month ago. Hes moved on from me but im still madly in love with him. He broke up with me because he was "too cool" for me, but I still see the old personality in him. How can i get him back? Please answer as ...

A.   18 November 2011: Anyone who actually says they're "too cool" for someone else is actually a person of weak character with a whole lot of insecurities. Someone who is "fake" also and more concerned about image than what makes him happy. Take that as a good thing - ... (read in full...)

Is she interested? Whenever we are together all she does is talk about other guys!

Q.   I have a girlfriend, who I think is totally amazing. She tells me she misses me, that she loves me, and wants to be with me forever. That's all when she texts me, when we're in person, she constantly talks about other men. I don't mean every 6 ...

A.   18 November 2011: I think she's trying to make you jealous so you realize how lucky you are that she is attracted to you while she's clearly attracted to so many others too. In a weird way, she could be letting you know "you've won out for now - now don't take me for ... (read in full...)

In 10 months we have never been out anywhere together and only his brother knows about me, should I leave him?

Q.   Hi I was just wondering why men always have to play games when they know a woman likes them? I met a man nearly 10 months ago now we live close by he asked me out and I have a three year old son from a previous relationship. anyway I couldn't get a ...

A.   18 November 2011: So right now all he has to do to have sex with you is come over to your house??! No. He's not going to suddenly work harder after his "diet" - there is no need to pursue you or make a big fuss because you've already established the boundaries and ... (read in full...)

Tonight I learned my husband may be cheating again

Q.   My husband's iphone beeped tonight with an SMS coming in, while we were in the car together. He was driving, so i just picked up the phone for him, and happened to notice a female name that i didn't recognise, and a message saying "is it ok to txt ...

A.   11 November 2011: I am so sorry this is happening to you right now. First, you don't know that he has physically cheated with this woman at this point, right? Since you still have the phone, can you see all the texts between them. (iPhones save the texts) unless h... (read in full...)

Internet cheating -- harder to get caught, addictive, what?

Q.   I am suprised to read so much lately about internet date sites being used to cheat on partners. I am interested to know what goes through the mind of the one using the site and the opinions of those who have caught their partner doing it. Does ...

A.   9 November 2011: Hi. I have now ended TWO relationships over Internet affairs. I think in both cases they thought it's not really cheating. But to me it's almost worse than a one night mistake. The is a consistent , emotional connection that my boyfriend SHOULD ... (read in full...)

Married 5 years now. Is this relationship still intact? Worth saving? He's coming home soon.

Q.   Hi guys, i am so confused and sad. My husband has been outside the country for almost 3 months now. He rarely calls. When he does it is usually for short time. He is so jealous, if i tell him i hav gone out with lady friends, he calls and shouts a...

A.   9 November 2011: It sounds like he is not interested in having a loving healthy marriage but you are married so you should wait until he comes home and try to have an adult sit down calm conversation and find out why he's been behaving this way. Was he jealous and ... (read in full...)

Give it another chance? or is he using me? do you guys think he lied to me when he said he didn't meet anyone?

Q.   Dear friends... i need some advice. I broke up with my bf 5 months ago and It's been really hard. I know our relationship wasn't working and that we tried so many times to be ok, but we argued a lot! i never stopped missing him, though... ...

A.   7 November 2011: Trust your gut. I don't believe that he hasn't met anyone else in 5 months ... but he may not have met anyone else special and that's why he wants you back. What could he be using you for?... (read in full...)

Am I with a narcissist?

Q.   Hello and thanks! Am I with a Narcissist? He was so charming, sweet, made soooo many promises to me, gave me compliments, told me he loved me a lot. Then it started becoming about him. He changed jobs 5x In 3 yrs his reasoning? His bosses were ...

A.   2 November 2011: What? Why do you want to be with him after all this? It's doesn't have to be so crazy or complicated. Promise. Maybe it's time to sever ties. ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid to bring it up, but how long do I wait to see how this relationship plays out?

Q.   I don't know what to do. We've been together just over a year. I know someone said you can't love the potential, you have to love the person where they're at now. But I find myself doing both. He really does need me for several reasons. And I need ...

A.   31 October 2011: I'm a big believer in listening to your gut. I've ignored mine and the end result was exactly what my gut knew all along. Bring it up .. it's better to know now than in another year when it will even be harder to break it off.... (read in full...)

My bf is convinced I'm in love with my friend (which I'm not!) and now he wants to speak to my friend's pregnant and emotional wife to see how she feels about our friendship!!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend (I will name "Ned") for about 17 years. "Ned" broke up with me about two and a half years ago saying I wasn't "the one" and he wanted to find her and didn't want to waste more time with me. I had wanted to get ...

A.   31 October 2011: 17 years and he's still making excuses?! If you want to be married, he either do it now, or you break up for good. Get over "ned" and heal and then find someone who will marry you and not be paranoid and look for excuses; like checking your chats, ... (read in full...)

Should my husband go out to bars so often without me? Or should he consider me more?

Q.   For the past year my husband has been going to the bars with his friends about twice per month. He stays until the bar is closed. I was ill for a few months and never wanted to go out when he asked (not that I could, because we don't have a baby...

A.   30 October 2011: No you are not wrong bit why don't you have friends of your own? It's important. Try really hard to find a babysitter and go with him. Nothing good happens in a bar past 2am. ... (read in full...)

My SOS (someone special) has a girlfriend!! Move on, or wait it out?

Q.   So, I am very attracted to this guy that works for my Dad. Five weeks ago, we started talking. I think he is absolutely amazing. He is everything I think I want in a man. He is absolutely adorable, charming, and very sweet. He is just as attracted ...

A.   27 October 2011: I agree with previous posters. Don't fall for it! It's the oldest cheaters trick in the book - make you the ally and complain about his "horrible girlfirend" that he just can't leave. Bull. He's not married with 3 kids. He can leave if he's tru... (read in full...)

I'm jealous of his very attractive best friend! What can I do?

Q.   I am in a very sticky situation. My bf and I have been happily together for 10 months and were friends for about 5 years prior. Things have pretty much gone off without a hitch, except for his very attractive, charismatic best friend. She is beaut...

A.   14 October 2011: What?! That is so mean. (the weight comment) however if he wanted to date her, wouldn't they be? Or has she said no to that? In all their years as friends I'm sure it's come up and been resolved. So I wouldn't worry about that. But I would wo... (read in full...)

Should I just stop talking to the guy I met online? I think he is talking to other women as well as me.

Q.   Hello everyone, I used an online dating site for the first time. I met a man that I was interested in meeting. We have been emailing each other once a day for 1 week. He keeps pointing out how much we have in common and how great I seem. H...

A.   12 October 2011: Yes. It is a dating website and he should be talking to others as should YOU. You haven't even met in person yet, how is he supposed to actually like you and how can you like him enough? I also joined a dating website and I have found guys rep... (read in full...)

Husband goes away for extended periods of time. I don't think this is fair!

Q.   I need advice. Me and my husband of 9 months have been at item for 8 years. In this last few years he did a bit of backpacking with his mates and i guess you could say he got a bit of the travel bug. Im not a big fan of travelling to farway places ...

A.   5 October 2011: Are you invited to go? I know you may not want to sence you're a home body, but are you invited? Would you consider going for a week of the 5? Do you also plan trips together ? It's not unreasonable for him to want to travel but it should be a dis... (read in full...)

Boyfriend started living with friends/co-workers and it destroyed our relationship

Q.   So this is probably something I should have done 3 months ago. It's too late now, but I still wonder if I am truly insane for having the opinion I have about my issue. I am a mid-twenties female and work non-stop (60 hours, 1 part-time job an...

A.   4 October 2011: He sounds like a helpless man. He couldn't find his own place and then took advantage of your generosity. THEN had the nerve to dismiss your feelings. He sounds like an opportunist. Only lesson here - be wary of being too generous. Yes. Any rati... (read in full...)

No husband or boyfriend. Am I wrong to feel bad about this?

Q.   Is it wrong for me to think that my life is over because I don't have a husband OR boyfriend? I'm 35 and I hardly even date. I'm extremely shy and not a positive thinker. ...

A.   4 October 2011: I am 34 and don't have a husband and recently broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn't treating me like I was number one and I later found out he was having an online affair. I Know how you feel. I too get depressed over not having a family y... (read in full...)

How long does it take for an ex to contact you after a break up?

Q.   Not sure if I posted this question already, because I don't see it in the approval process .. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I found out he has a LDR (long distance relationship) with another girl. He denied it of course. But now...

A.   3 October 2011: He may not contact you because he had already checked out. He was moving his emotions on to this LDR relationship with another girl. That is his focus . And you should not want to be with someone that is making someone else number one. The onl... (read in full...)

Am I being used for money, sex, and transportation or am I seriously being paranoid and over-reactive?

Q.   So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five months. At first everything was great he announced us being together on Facebook and all that. But one day he suddenly set his status to single. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I ...

A.   3 October 2011: Your picture on his phone and him texting you while you're at school/work is fine .. but he is still denying you in public. (on Facebook). He should be proud of you -- proud to say "in a relationship with" .. and have photos of both of you - on his ... (read in full...)

All the things my ex is saying is making my skin crawl!

Q.   Dear Cupid Had a fight with my bf of 2 years, since he blocked me from his facebook, saying like I am disturbing him often in chat. Got angry and we had a fight and after that he never called me, I tried to reach him after 3 days, he now says he m...

A.   3 October 2011: He sounds like a jerk! Why would you want him back? You deserve better and don't give him ANY more power. He wanted out if he could move on so quickly. I know it's hard to understand, but you are better off without him in the long run. The best... (read in full...)

I don't want to lose my online guy!

Q.   i have been talking to this online guy for 7 months over phone everynight for hours. we laugh and joke and sometimes have phone sex. I know everything about his family, ex etc and he talks to me when sad. He told me he likes me alot . the last ...

A.   2 October 2011: Sadly I agree with the other posters. I am also a hopless romantic but you are just this guys "therapist" for now . I'm sure he likes talking to you because he knows you care and it feeds his ego and makes him feel good that there is someone out ... (read in full...)

Why would this guy still be on the dating site? I feel so used and disillusioned!

Q.   I met a guy last week from a dating site for the first time. We had an amazing time and had sex which was fantastic! Of course this all sounds quick, but I believe it was the right thing to do at the time even though we only knew each other couple ...

A.   2 October 2011: You are not a slut. You are a grown woman who chose to have sx with a man because the moment felt right. Chalk it up to a great time and a pleasure you enjoyed. He did not use you unless he made you false promises or lied to get you to have sex. It ... (read in full...)

Am I being used for money, sex, and transportation or am I seriously being paranoid and over-reactive?

Q.   So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost five months. At first everything was great he announced us being together on Facebook and all that. But one day he suddenly set his status to single. I didn't make a big deal out of it because I ...

A.   2 October 2011: Be wary Of the FB games. He is playing games with you've already caught him flirting online. He is still on the hunt ... Either you do the same or end it with him and move on. My ex fought me on changing his status to "in a relationship" and gues... (read in full...)

Who had cheater's behavior? Him or me?

Q.   im rlly feeling bad ... i just broke up with my boyfriend ..i loved him to death but i think he cheated ... our relation was within distance ...and one day we were talking on msn and i told him im going out with friends ..he agreed and he asked me ...

A.   1 October 2011: This is just one chat that he didn't respond too? One time? If it is, you are over-reacting. He could have been talking to someone else. Busy. Distracted etc if this is a one time thing - let it go. If there are other reasons to not trust him - well... (read in full...)

Need to fix my dating before its too late!

Q.   Hi guys, Just wandered if any of you can help with my dating. I’m 33 and still looking for love. I don’t have much of a social circle anymore so am relying on internet dating, and dates are few and far between. When I do meet, there always see...

A.   1 October 2011: I can't speak for British girls, but as an American girl - if I've been on four dates with a man and he hasn't tried to kiss me - I'd think he's not interested or I'd lose interest because he has no swagger or confidence (I.e. Sex appeal) . I'm not ... (read in full...)

How do you get through being cheated on and lied to by a guy who never even cared about you?

Q.   He said he never lies... I'm struggling to keep count of all the lies he's told. He said he's been cheated on before and would never cheat... he asked other girls out while we were together and straight after we break up. He told me he's not like ...

A.   29 September 2011: Consider this one of life's lessons and be grateful it happened to you now so you don't have it happen later in life (say if you had married or had a baby with this kind of a guy). Now you know the warning signs and you can steer clear of a schmuck ... (read in full...)

G/f says she cant have sex due to "girl issues", but she's not on her period. What else could it be?

Q.   My girlfreind says she cant have sex due to girl issues.But shes not on her period.What else could it be?...

A.   29 September 2011: Probably just a yeast infection. I've had one and not wanted to explain to my boyfriend because I figured he'd be grossed out. No big deal. If it goes on for more than a few days though; ask again to make sure she's ok and it's not an excuse or a ... (read in full...)

I am so jealous! I have the right to be, he's MY boyfriend!

Q.   This girl writes on my boyfriend's wall everyday, with like ten posts of stuff to make him laugh because apparently he's depressed. I wouldn't know that because he never tells me anything anymore and is always talking to her. Some days he just ...

A.   28 September 2011: YOU should be number one. Tell him to cut off contact with this girl or at least severly limit it. If he doesn't, end it. You deserve to be number one. The one he confides in and has fun with. ... (read in full...)

Dating etiquette?

Q.   On our second date he" forgot " his wallet, and for our 3rd he wanted to reschedule because he said he was sick, how should I have reacted/ responded?...

A.   26 September 2011: Say " feel better " and I'll talk to you later. Now HE needs to contact you for the 4th date. He should feel like a jerk after "forgetting" his wallet and should be going out of his way to make it up to you. Do not contact him again - he needs to ... (read in full...)

Shall I initiate another 'where is this going conversation' and if he is not budging then accept that the relationship has no future and split with him or do I wait until he brings it up?

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm 28 and in an intercultural, inter-racial relationship with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. He is Egyptian muslim (33 years old) and I am white British liberal muslim. We're both doctors. I've not met his siblings (2 sisters) except ...

A.   19 September 2011: After 2 and 1/2 years, he should KNOW whether he wants to marry you or not. Give it until the end of September and have the talk again. I would not wait any longer if you want to be married. If he's serious about you, you need to meet his mom. If... (read in full...)

He disappears on the weekends..

Q.   have been talking seriously with this spanish man on fb..who seemes too good to be true..is the most charming , sensistive man i have ever spoken to....he say's he's fallen for me and would like to meet me in London , as i'm from the uk and he's ...

A.   18 September 2011: Trust your gut. Take things slow. Meet him if you want - but try not to get super attached and make sure you are dating / pursuing other people because if he is disappearing on weekends - he clearly has other women in his life - or maybe a GF that's ... (read in full...)

I think I'm more into my BF than he is into me. Should I just back off?

Q.   I have invested my heart and fallen in love with my boyfriend of five months. He also says he loves me. But I am always anxious. He is a musician and left on tour two weeks ago. He wanted to stay together and he's been calling every day. Troub...

A.   16 September 2011: Guess what? He was cheating. He started an online relationship with a woman 2 weeks after he left on tour and a week before I flew out to see him. I found evidence of it on his computer when he got back to our town. I broke up with him. ... (read in full...)

If its over then why does he stay in touch

Q.   please help me i am in a real mess ,i have been with my partner for over 2 years and up until 3 weeks ago we had a amazing loving relatioship. The last 3 weeks have been very difficult, my partner was seving in afghan when he had to come home early ...

A.   13 September 2011: It sounds like he is traumatized and trying to deal with the return to "normal" life. If you can, and I know it is hard, try to just be his friend and text him back that you love him and do NOT talk about the relationship for NOW. Give him time... (read in full...)

Do I talk to my boyfriend or wait until I have proof?

Q.   Well, not sure how to start but .... there's this girl that likes my boyfriend and everybody knows it, she doesn't keep it quiet. Last night when i was at my boyfriend's house I saw two texts on his phone while he went to the bathroom. I checked ...

A.   13 September 2011: Oh. If he is checking your FB then yes ask to see his. If he says no then you need to tell him he can no longer check yours and I'd seriously consider if you want to stay with him. He's being shady. Call him out on it in a calm way and see what kind ... (read in full...)

Do I talk to my boyfriend or wait until I have proof?

Q.   Well, not sure how to start but .... there's this girl that likes my boyfriend and everybody knows it, she doesn't keep it quiet. Last night when i was at my boyfriend's house I saw two texts on his phone while he went to the bathroom. I checked ...

A.   12 September 2011: It is your boyfriends responsibilty to tell the girl to stop texting him. He needs to make it clear he is with you. Is he engaging her back? Writing back? The site says you are 41-50.. Is he? Because he should know better at his age that any cont... (read in full...)

How? Is it possible to get my cat back as first priority? And get my ex boyfriend back too?

Q.   Here is a brief paragraph of my situation. My ex and I broke up this month after a year relationship. We had a huge fight during a trip right before (this is our first huge fight, we were basically ignoring each other during the trip). When we ...

A.   10 September 2011: How do you know he signed up for the sites? If he left as easy as he did, it seems like he was just looking for an out. I know - it's painful. The same thing just happened to me and now that a month has passed I realized I was the one always m... (read in full...)

Morality Issue? To tell my partner, or not, that I received an unwanted, and rejected, advance on line?

Q.   Here's a question for everyone, just curious: Let's say you get a personal message from an online community member (like you're on a forum with hobbies you enjoy, or whatever, not Facebook.) This message is from a person of the opposite sex and...

A.   10 September 2011: I would tell it as a "can you believe what happened today" kind of story. Light hearted. Here is my rule. Anything I would tell to my friends or coworkers I SHOULD also be able tell to my BF. If not, then somethings not right I have nothing to... (read in full...)

How to handle crossing the line?

Q.   I've been seeing a girl for several months now who I absolutely love and even live together with. She has many guy friends and has always been very open about things with them and has never hidden that some of them have romantic interests with ...

A.   17 August 2011: I'm a girl with a lot of guy friends and none of them would ever send me gifts or long emails. I make it very clear my door is closed. I had a BF up until a week ago who I was very much in love with. I talked about him all the time to them and they ... (read in full...)

I don't love him. Should I leave?

Q.   You shouldn't leave the one you love for the one you like. but what if i don't LOVE him? Overtime my feelings towards my boyfriend of 5 months have changed. I never really found him physically attractive, and now since we are back at school, i don...

A.   16 August 2011: Yes! It will be doing both of you a favor. The longer you stay the more hurt he will feel when you break up with him and the more you will miss his company. Just be really nice and say that you don't feel that way towards him anymore and that... (read in full...)

I think I'm more into my BF than he is into me. Should I just back off?

Q.   I have invested my heart and fallen in love with my boyfriend of five months. He also says he loves me. But I am always anxious. He is a musician and left on tour two weeks ago. He wanted to stay together and he's been calling every day. Troub...

A.   3 June 2011: Thank you again for all those who helped. Things are much better now that the nightly shows are over for a bit. He still calls every day (I told him he didn't have to and that I realize I was being needy). Now the conversations are much longer a... (read in full...)

I think I'm more into my BF than he is into me. Should I just back off?

Q.   I have invested my heart and fallen in love with my boyfriend of five months. He also says he loves me. But I am always anxious. He is a musician and left on tour two weeks ago. He wanted to stay together and he's been calling every day. Troub...

A.   27 May 2011: Thank you Agnony aunts!! This is why I write here. For the brutal and honest outside opinion. Yes, I clearly know I'm insecure but you made me realize just how well I am not hiding it and more importantly how it is taking a toll on me. I'm not ... (read in full...)

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