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... Send *nzian a private message | | | *nzian's profile:Ciao! I'm from Europe and my mother-tongue is not English – so please my spelling errors!
I'm in my twentys and in best hands. Also we have our ups and downs, so I found this page asking questions myselfe.
I'm Christian and so I may seem to be quite conservative. In my free time I read a lot of books about relationship and marriage. I believe that in christianity – also it may seems to be a very old-fashioned perspective – this is a very honest perspective and it really helps for a good relationship. For me what is normal for most people today seems to be very selfish. One should try to look away from oneself and try to do best for the others. On the other hand I very much like to talk to other people, friends, singles and married couple and especially to my grandmother, which was very happy married for 60 years (my grandfather just died a month after their diamond wedding).
Therefore not everything I write is my own experience, but I'm sure it is honest. I write what I think and what I learned. I can't say if the advice I give is always helpful. It also could be because of my language that I don't always find the right words for my sentence and so it could be that you don't understand what I meant to say. And it is probable not always what you want to hear, but it is one point of view and I hope it will at least be thought-provoking. You can always write a message to ask!
I can learn from other peoples answers and would like to learn from your comments as well. So I would love to hear your comments on some of the advice i have given. |
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What is this discharge?
Q. i am 16 and this might be too long but plz answer my questions i will be veery thankful it will make my life alot better. I have this liquid stuff coming out of my vagina it has been there for as long as i can remember probably before when i starte...
A. 10 October 2007: I'm not a doctor, but I know that even they can not tell you what excatly you have got without seeing you. Only a test can tell what kind of infection you have got und which one would be the right therapy. If you don't want to see a man, see if ... (read in full...)
What is this discharge?
Q. i am 16 and this might be too long but plz answer my questions i will be veery thankful it will make my life alot better. I have this liquid stuff coming out of my vagina it has been there for as long as i can remember probably before when i starte...
A. 9 October 2007: Hi there
I had something similar so I went so see my gynaecologist.
She made the normal checkup they do and did some swabs. It was a fungal affection. So she gave me some pharmaceuticals and I had to stopp using tampons (What is hard, but seems to... (read in full...)
I fear her reaction. Should I ask her out?
Q. i want to ask a girl out. But i fear on her reaction. I want to do it face to face nothing else. But i just don't know how a kind, shy girl will react if they were told i like her? How would you girls/ladies react to a guy who was your friend a...
A. 7 October 2007: Hi there
I allways feel/felt very honoured when a guy asks me out and I'm sure most of other girls and ladies feel that too (except when I knew he just wanted sex or my money or anything from me, but it is not real interest in my person. Then I woul... (read in full...)
Holding out until marriage, but the plans haven't begun.
Q. I have been with my fiance for 6 years and engaged for 2 and a half of them. We have never had sex. She says she wants to wait until marriage and I agreed to that. So I proposed with the intention of getting married soon after. Now its 2-1/2 ye...
A. 5 October 2007: She is playing games with you and you have the right to know where you are. I very much agree with flower girl. So sit her down and tell her how you feel. But don't put the screws on her. She has to do the right decision for her freely, because if ... (read in full...)
I love him but don't want to sacrifice my chances of having kids on him maybe never being ready for anything official. What should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 and 1/2 years, from day 1 we both knew it was serious and agreed this was it together forever etc. We have talked about marriage and babies etc. Thing is its always in the future and even though I have my ...
A. 5 October 2007: Hi Dear
I can imagine how you feel and I wouldn't know how I exactly would react in your situation. It has been 4 and 1/2 years. That is quite a long time. I would consider him as playing games with you and you have a right to know where you are.... (read in full...)
Should I stay married?
Q. My husband of 4 years is very caring and a good father.He is very neat,tidy and organised. Problem is I'm not tidy and I can't stand him insisting to be organised all the time. I wish not to be married to him because I feel suffocated. Everyda...
A. 3 October 2007: Sorry to say this, but you sond like you are married to be happy, you are taking but not willing to give. Sorry for beeing harsh, but that's what I read between your lines. But to realy deeply love someone is a big difference!
Real, deep, solid love... (read in full...)
I've been sending anonymous love/sex mails to my wife's sister
Q. I am 40 and married. I am seriously in love with my sister in law who is 22 unmarried. I have been sending anonymous love emails to her and finally got a positive reply. Should I reveal my real identity and come out in front of her as myself.....I ...
A. 3 October 2007: Hi there
What about your wife? Do you still love her? What about your children (if you have some)? Do you feel somehow left out or what is the reason you are looking for an other women? How do you know you are seriously in love with your wifes sits... (read in full...)
I'm 15. I want to loose a few pounds the healthy way. Any tips?
Q. okay well im 15, and pretty healthy. i swim 3x a week (with a club) and walk to school and the park etc. Im also a pretty good runner and used to do crosscoutry and run for my school, i dont anymore but im still pretty good. But yeah, im not parti...
A. 1 October 2007: Hi dear
You may don't like my answer, but you I have to say that you seem to have a normal body index! Also 1000 callories is not enough to cover the minimum requirements of your body. Your body also needs callories if you do nothing (=no spor... (read in full...)
Too much too late?
Q. Have been married 18 yrs and 3 kids 17, 15, 11, last few years Ive been unhappy. I finnaly told husband I wasnt happy and I dont have the same feelings for him. Now he is trying to change over night and do things he has never done, do dished, ...
A. 28 September 2007: I very much agree with elitzabeth, penta and rcn! Think well about what you do. I'm sure you would not ask this question here, if you would be sure about leaving your husband would be the right thing to do.
To the very good answers of elit... (read in full...)
I don't know how to handle marriage anymore!
Q. Early in our marriage, getting way too challenging, don't know how to handle it anymore. We met in grad school, only dated for just over a year before getting married. We had (I thought) very similar goals in our careers, and we both liked the s...
A. 28 September 2007: Hi there
Hmmm... you seem to be in a very tricky situation. I feel sorry for you, but also resepct that you still are willing to stay in your marriage!
I don't know how to help you, as I'm not a specialist, but I just would like to recommen... (read in full...)
I'm on the pill, but am I pregnant?
Q. Please someone tell me what is going on. I have been on birth conrtol pills for about a year now. My period has always been on time, never early never late. Well lately my guy and I have been having a lot more sex than usual, yes he does ejaculate ...
A. 26 September 2007: Hi Dear
The pill normaly is a very safty birth control. But there are always exceptions. For instance the pill doesn't work together with some antibiotics and other drugs. So if you take some drugs, read the package insert and ask your doctor or c... (read in full...)
Can anyone suggest anything we can do different together and re-fresh and avoid the "predictable" ?
Q. I think I am bored with my routine in life. I don't know why but a few weeks ago I used to like going to my girlfriends and her coming down to mine but now I am so bored I find it harder to feel exited about going to her house. I get exited about ...
A. 26 September 2007: Hi there
I know what you are talking about, because there was a time of about half a year, my boyfriend had the same problem with me. I was just to stressed at that time that I didn't feel doing anything else but sitting around and doing noth... (read in full...)
Does wearing two comdoms decrease the risk of getting pregnant?
Q. Does wearing two comdoms decrease the risk of getting pregnant?...
A. 26 September 2007: Hi Dear
To be honest, I'm not 100% sure, but as far as I know, one should only use one at the time. The reason why two condoms could be less safe is that they would rub against each other what could actually injure the condoms and you could get preg... (read in full...)
I'm worried if I have a baby it will be ugly, because my boyfriend has been referred to as an ape.
Q. Ok this is quite possibly the most shallow question you will ever come across... but here goes. I am seeing my boyfriend 3 years now and I love him more than anything, we are in a very commited relationship and he treats me very very well, and v...
A. 23 September 2007: What ever beautiful or ugly means, much more importand is, what one lucks in it's inside. But from the outside very beautiful parents can have children which don't seem to look very nice and not very nice looking partens can have very handsome ... (read in full...)
Is my fiance cheap? He makes 2800 a month and spend 2000 on my ring.
Q. Is my fiance cheap? He makes 2800 a month and spend 2000 on my ring....
A. 15 September 2007: Hi there
I've got a question about cultures (because I don't really understand the problem behind this question):
How much is 2800 a month? Is that all the money he earns in a month? With ore without taxes? Does he has to pay the rent for his flat... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and need some ideas to make some money around the home!
Q. how can i make a bit of cash around my house. ok i saw this coat what i like what was £25 i realy want it, but i only have five pounds how can i make money around my house to get the rest (i have already had a paper round but i quit because i went ...
A. 9 September 2007: Hi there
I don't know how good you know your neighbour, but here are some ideas:
- ask a neighbour who has a dog, if you could go for a walk with it for 30 minutes twice a week (or more)
- offer a neighbour to look after their cat every day th... (read in full...)
I'm happy in my relationship and a guy at uni is interested. Whats the best way to let him down gently?
Q. Hi! I'm happily together with a very nice young man for nearly 3 years and I love him very much. At the moment he is working at the other end of town and I'm learning for exams at university, so we don't see eachother everyday. Last week I was lear...
A. 29 August 2007: Thanks for your help! Yesterday he joined me and my friends for coffee. After 10min I said, we have to go (what was actually right but mainly it was because I felt uncomfortabel. So we walked away, but after that I feel so bad, because it was ... (read in full...)
I'm happy in my relationship and a guy at uni is interested. Whats the best way to let him down gently?
Q. Hi! I'm happily together with a very nice young man for nearly 3 years and I love him very much. At the moment he is working at the other end of town and I'm learning for exams at university, so we don't see eachother everyday. Last week I was lear...
A. 28 August 2007: Thanks for answers! Because I'm not sure how professional I would be, I would prefer to write him an e-mail and just hope, I wont walk into him today. But I don't know what to write. Do you have an idea? It should be short and clear but still ... (read in full...)
Will eating only 2 apples a day make me lose weight quickly?6
Q. Hey.. ok well i'm planning to lose weight..So i'm going to eat two apples a day and that's it..iv done this now for 1 day..and I no that i'm going keep on doing it..how long will it take like before the weight all drops off?? i'm 9 stone and I hate ...
A. 21 August 2007: Hi dear
Yes, you will lose weight, but not in a very nice way, because your body will punish you for this starvation. So please take the other posts to your heart!
If you want to keep a nice weight for your size and age, go to see a nutritio... (read in full...)
I have not had my period for a month, so whats up?
Q. HELP! My bf and I have been going out for about half a year and we have yet to have sex im 16 and hes 18 and were in total love but were still waiting cuz we both think that love isnt all about sex. PROBLEM IS my period fluxuates since ive been o...
A. 19 August 2007: This seems to be quite normal after beeing off of the pill. It is because the change of the hormones and your body needs to find it's way back. Also stress, losing weight and so on can make it irregular. I'm still irregular, but I talked to ... (read in full...)
She says she is going to skip breakfast to lose weight.
Q. My friend wants to loose weight but shes saying she is going to skip breakfast. But breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Please can some people comment on how important breakfast is so i can tell her...
A. 19 August 2007: Well you are right, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It will give you energy for the day. Lunch is also very important. If she will skip a meal to loose wight, she should skip supper. This is because what you eat in the evening, you ... (read in full...)
I think i got married too young.
Q. I am married really young. I am now 24, and have been married for a year. When I first met my wife, we really hit it off. I was actually looking for a roommate at the same time, and decided she would be a perfect fit. She ended up moving in within 2 ...
A. 19 August 2007: Hi there Well, I personally think, this are exactely the reasons, why one should not marry to early an get to know a person for a few time. But on the other hand I think it happend and now don't think about what you all did "wrong" in the past, bu... (read in full...)
I'm getting married and I don't want to! What do I do?
Q. well, I'm so confused and the issue itself has been causing me a depression since it happened that I thought of committing suicide just to escape the scandal. I'm 23 years old and due to circumstances I was pushed into a relationship and I lost my ...
A. 11 August 2007: Hi Dear I feel very sorry for you! But because I don't know the culture in your country, your religion and so, it is very hard to give you any advice. So do you have anyone you can really trust? Your mother, a sister, a cousin, your grandma,... (read in full...)
Jumping straight into a relationship after a fifteen year one.
Q. I just wanted to know opinions on a partner breaking off a long term relationship (15 yrs +) to immediately start a new relationship, thats if you were cheating. What are the pros and cons of starting such a relationship? ...
A. 9 August 2007: Hi I think, this i not cheating and it won't be wrong. But my own opinion is, that one should wait for some time. This is to get some distance from the former relationship and to find back to yourself. I myself would feel like a consolation next... (read in full...)
My fiancee: cheated with a prostitute, can't get hard except through oral, has a short temper and leaves for days on end after an argument!
Q. I love him but am i being controlled. my fiancee and I have been together for over 2 years. he cheated on me with a prostitute after 8 months, a month before we were to be married. we went to counselling, but he could not tell me why he did it. He ...
A. 6 August 2007: Hmm, I think you need to look after yourself and ask yourselfe a few questions. Questions like - Why do you love him? - What is the real reason you are with him? Is it only just because of your worry that you won't find someone else? Or maybe d... (read in full...)
Since they have moved in with their boyfriends, i hardly hear from them.
Q. I was good friends with 2 sisters and we spent every weekend together. However they are now living with their b/fs so I don't see them anymore. Over the last 7 months I have seen them 3 times. All I get now is a e-mail maybe once a week, I have...
A. 23 July 2007: Hi there
You seem to be a little jealous? Well, I really do understand you, as this happend to me with my friends and brothers as well. I know it's hard, especially if one wishs to have a boyfriend oneselfe...
But don't but your head in the sand... (read in full...)
I get mad when she mentions that she is going out with her friends because I get the feeling that she shouldnt be having fun without me and i get jealous
Q. I have a problem I have been living in another country for 9 months and that is also how long I have been away from my girlfriend. We are trying to make this work and we are almost there but the problem is that I get mad when she mentions that she ...
A. 8 July 2007: Hi there I think, you should ask yourself, what the real reason is, you are jealous. Do you think she will see other guys? Or is it realy that you can not be with her and have fun with her? Could it be that you don't have much fun in the country ... (read in full...)
I'm confused and unhappy with the way my life is going
Q. I am a MAN, and I have realized how stupid I am! I am married, since 4yrs and I don't know why? I grew up in a single parent home and I am having major challenges in understanding the needs of a home, wife, family, etc. I am a good person. ...
A. 30 June 2007: Hi there Hope I didn't understand you wrong! I personaly think you need to learn what it means to realy love someone and what it means to be married. And I also think, that you dont have to do everything on your own. You can get help and there is... (read in full...)
Can I lose weight from a healthier diet but no excercise?
Q. I need some advice here. If I just eat less and not excercise will I be able to drop pounds and lose wieght? Will I be able to lose up to 20 pounds?...
A. 29 June 2007: One thing, I just would like to add (just to note in the case you plan to do a little bit of exercises): There is one thing about exercises that you should look after. Don't eat just before you exercise, becaus you could get stomachache of it espec... (read in full...)
If a guy loves you and wants to marry you, is it okay to ask that he not go to a woman's house at night?
Q. I have a wonderful guy that still visits a beautiful girl who lives down the street from him once in a while in the evenings. I told him it makes me uncomfortable, and he said they are only friends. I told him, how would I know that. And he said ...
A. 29 June 2007: Hi I think you have the right to tell him that you don't want him to do that. It is not about trust, but respect of you and your feelings. Tell him how you feel and that you would like to stop him doing this because you feel uncomfortable. If he re... (read in full...)
Can I lose weight from a healthier diet but no excercise?
Q. I need some advice here. If I just eat less and not excercise will I be able to drop pounds and lose wieght? Will I be able to lose up to 20 pounds?...
A. 29 June 2007: Hi dear
yes, you will lose weight only by eating less but not doing exercises. But it will take much longer and also your body will not get such a nice form as it would if you would do some exercises. To get your skin taut you would need some exer... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and puberty still hasn't kicked in
Q. help me please i am 16 and still havent hit puberty fully. I have got pubic hair gowing and i have grown in hieght and thats all. my voice hasn't broke and my penis hasn't grown much in lenght has anyone got anything that could help me please?...
A. 24 June 2007: Hi there I was late as well - everone is different, you should not comparing yourself too much to others and don't listen about their jokes. As I am female, I don't know what is normal for boys. I believe you are not too late. But why don't you as... (read in full...)
I'd lose so much if I ended my relationship but I don't love him anymore
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 8 years (since I was 18) and we've lived together for 5 years. I feel like we have drifted apart emotionally and sexually, and although we still care for each other, I dont think we love each other anymore. It just ...
A. 24 June 2007: Hi there Are you sure, you don't love him anymore? Could it not be just a phase of low intensity? What do you mean by being in love with someone? I read some books about this and had lots of chats with my grandma which was happily married for over... (read in full...)
After the death of my brother, I don't feel like I care about anything anymore. Please help me!
Q. hello out there well i have a problem and i dont know what to do or if its normal or whats wrong with me wel lmy brother died a couple of months ago and for like the first few days i was said and now its like it didnt happen i dont even think about ...
A. 18 June 2007: Hi Dear
It sounds to me like a depression. It could be because of your brothers dead, like you are very sad, but too sad to feel anything? Well, I'm not a specialist on this. I would just recommend you to go and see a psychologist or a coun... (read in full...)
Does my sister like me MORE than a sister should?
Q. So, I want to know if a girl likes me. We get on, and can talk about relationships. she does not seem uncomfortable in me mentioning sex, and has on one occasion watched porn with me and my male friends. Also, she does not seem to be uncomfortable...
A. 17 June 2007: People are different and so are your sisters! I agree with Eve that there is nothing to worry about.
I've got two brothers. When we used to be young children, my mother used to both us all three at the same time. There was never a secret about what... (read in full...)
Seven months, we're in love and I bought the ring to pop the question! Should I wait or do it?
Q. I have a 20 y.o girlfriend and i am 25 y.o we have been together now for 7mths we both are very much in love and talk seriously about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together, do you think it is right for me to pop the question yet is ...
A. 12 June 2007: Because you ask this question, I think you are not really ready yet. You are only together for 7 months. There is no rush. Use the time to get to know each other to see wheter or not this is real love and not only fallen in love very badly. Do you ... (read in full...)
Do I leave my husband of 40 years (who I love but don't fancy) for my new kinky lover?
Q. I suppose I am quite old to have a question like this (I'm 60). But here goes! I have been married for 40 years to a man who adores me, and who I am very fond of. Trouble is I just dont fancy him any more. I have started an affair with a man who ...
A. 11 June 2007: Hi Dear! I think, one is never to old to learn the difference between falling in love, fancy someone and really deeply love someone! I had to learn it, when I was fallen in love very badly with young man a few years ago and when it broke off I ha... (read in full...)
Is this RAPE???
Q. I dont know what to do about my boyfriend. A few nights ago when I came home from work, he asked to have sex but I was too tired. He seemed understanding so I just went to bed. I woke up during the night to find him thrusting his penis in and out ...
A. 10 June 2007: Hi dear!
I'm sorry, but yes, this is rape!
If you are still in love with him, take him to task and listen to what he says about it. Either he is REALLY sorry, asks for forgivenes and makes it up for something - in this case it is up to you to accep... (read in full...)
We don't want the baby now! How can we stop this?
Q. my girlfrend is about 35 days pregnant? but we dont want baby now? is thr any way to stop her from not becoming pregnant? will it affect her in later age,if she stop now? wat medicine should she take...
A. 10 June 2007: You both don't want the baby or is it only you on your own who don't want it! Well, if she wants to have the baby, you have to accept this. You can't make her to stop it! There is medicine today, but like with all medicine she can not just take it ... (read in full...)
Want bigger breasts with out the padded bras!
Q. hi i was wondering how i can make my breast's bigger by not buying a padded bra i am a 32 A and i want too look at least a B how can i?...
A. 10 June 2007: Don't worry, you are still young! Your breast growth is only just in the beginning. They will still grow for an other five to ten years. This needs a little patient, but I suggest you to do nothing eles then wait. The only thing you can do is to eat ... (read in full...)
What's the difference between having a crush on somebody or loving them?
Q. whats the difference between loving someone or having a crush on them?...
A. 9 June 2007: My perspecitve of the difference of falling in love and really love someone:
- Falling in love just happens to you. You can't really control it yourself. It is like being on drugs. The hormones in your body tell you what to do and are reigning... (read in full...)
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