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| | emporessmystique's profile:I'm 47, been married, divorced, have 2 grown children of whom I'm very proud. I've been married twice, first time at 19, because I was pregnant, divorced 2 years later. My 1st ex was physically abusive. Second marriage at 24, married for almost 20 years, ended mainly because my husband was an alcoholic and became very emotionally abusive, and refused to get help for his problem. Now I'm in a relationship going 7 years strong, and I'm very happy. Through my life I've learned that most situations are not black and white, there's alot of grey areas. With age I hope I'm acquiring wisdom. I have become much more open minded as I've gotten older, and that's definitely a good thing! I've experienced so much in my life, but can still find things to smile about. And remember..just one person can make a difference!Feel free to write me anytime. |
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I am in an awful mentally, abusive relationship. I am very unhappy and really want to be out of it.
Q. I am in an awful mentally, abusive relationship. I am very unhappy and really want to be out of it. I really don't know where to turn to or how to get out of this hell hole I am in. I have asked my boyfriend to leave but he won't, he keeps saying we ...
A. 8 January 2009: I am so happy that you are feeling better about the situation and are doing what is necessary to make your life better for yourself and your child. Just remember we are all here for you, and will help in any way that we can. You are NOT alone! You ... (read in full...)
I am in an awful mentally, abusive relationship. I am very unhappy and really want to be out of it.
Q. I am in an awful mentally, abusive relationship. I am very unhappy and really want to be out of it. I really don't know where to turn to or how to get out of this hell hole I am in. I have asked my boyfriend to leave but he won't, he keeps saying we ...
A. 8 January 2009: There are different ways you can go about it, depending on your circumstances...Is it your home alone? Or do you own together? If its yours, you can get a restraining order, call the police and force him to leave. They will stand their while he ... (read in full...)
He got me nothing for Christmas or our 1st anniversary?
Q. OK!..so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 months.Hes my first real boyfriend n i think i love him.For our first month anniversary we didn't eraly do anything special just hung out all day with each other.I was ...
A. 6 January 2009: Hi. I'm going to be going right along the same lines as Father Advice. Most guys/men just aren't really romantic, and they don't have clue what us girls want/need. It isn't that they mean to be thoughtless or uncaring, they just don't know. Believe ... (read in full...)
He wants me to change my PROFESSIONAL name after marriage and I don't want to
Q. Hello all, I have been in a relationship my boyfriend for 2 years and have run into some problems. We have discussed our future many times, trying to sort things to make our relationship work into a marriage, but I have some issues with what...
A. 3 January 2009: Hi. Perhaps you could compromise and hyphenate your name? My husband is Japanese and was married before me, him and his wife were both doctors, and she was like you..didn't wish to lose her name..so she hyphenated it..that way people could see BOTH ... (read in full...)
One of my cats died and the other is missing it terribly...
Q. This is not a romance question but hoping that there might be some cat lovers and/or owners out there who can help. My eighteen year old cat was put to sleep today because of complications with kidney disease. My other seventeen year old who I have ...
A. 25 December 2008: Oh..I'm so sorry...I absolutely adore all animals, especially cats...and our pets are just like our children! Oh your poor baby..of course he/she is missing its mate...I mean, they were together I'm assuming for a very long time..and the one left ... (read in full...)
I just don't seem to get as much out of sex unless it's anal. Am I a freak?
Q. Sometimes I wonder if I'm normal. Hi I'm 25 and Having a bit of a problem. It's just that during sex I actually find it more pleasurable when something is being done anally to me. Even masturbating I go back there as it feels amazing. It's been ...
A. 25 December 2008: Hi. I don't think that you're a freak just because you have a preference..we are all different, and what one likes, another doesn't..it doesn't make one person wrong, and one person right. People like different positions too, right? What one likes, ... (read in full...)
How important is it if a guy has no friends. Not a party animal and doesn't drink?
Q. He's 26! How important is it if a guy has no friends. Not a party animal.. doesn't drink. And his last relationship was (2) years. ago. Is that a warning sign that he can't be in a long-term relationship with someone? Great guy but I have my doubts ...
A. 25 December 2008: There a very good chance that he's sown his wild oats, and has matured, and just doesn't want that type of lifestyle any longer, or perhaps he was just never that way to begin with. Could be several possibilities. If you think you are too different, ... (read in full...)
I'm so nervous he won't like my christmas gift !
Q. So it's christmas eve everyone. For my boyfriend I bouqht him this qold and silver watch [by the way I'm fifteen and so is he]. I think it's cute but I'm nervous and scared because I don't know if he will. I mean, this is my first christmas with a ...
A. 25 December 2008: Aw...I think the watch was a lovely idea! I can't imagine why on earth he wouldn't like it. I think you are worrying too much luv. A very thoughtful, practical gift and yet sweet too. Don't stress ok? I'm sure he'll be very happy with his gift! Like ... (read in full...)
Is this long distance friendship becoming a relationship?
Q. Well, I've been having a long distance friendship with this guy I met 2 years ago in a delivery I made at his office (US airbase). He happened to left shortly after that, so I decided to contacted him and since then emails have been sent. Firs...
A. 25 December 2008: It would appear that he likes you and enjoys talking to you, but maybe the idea of a long distance relationship doesn't really appeal to him and that's why he doesn't make more of a move? LDR are very difficult, and many people can't/won't get ... (read in full...)
I got an abortion, should I tell my ex?
Q. This October I got drunk and had sex with my ex and I ended up going to the hosptial for an absess on thanksgiving, I found out at the hospital that I was pregnant.. to make a long story short when I got out the hospital the day after thanksgiving I ...
A. 24 December 2008: Considering the situation and the type of man who fathered the baby, I don't blame you for not telling him. He didn't show any concern for you in what is one of the worst times a woman can experience! I'm sorry for you, I know what you went through, ... (read in full...)
What kind of relationship do you think this is?
Q. I am with this man, we get into fights he has hit me a few times, enough now when he gets to yelling I am in fear of being hit again. I tell him to leave but then find myself missing him and calling him. He does come back this last time he came ...
A. 24 December 2008: Most people would call your relationship abusive.Its definitely not healthy. Please do not allow a man to treat you this way. His anger can/probably will continue to escalate..and it could be over very minor things, or even nothing at all. Speaking ... (read in full...)
My wife can't stand me, I think she's cheating, what do I do?
Q. Hey All, I am in a relationship where my wife cant stand me. She says we are not friends, finds me repulsive and would prefer not to talk to me, much less anything else. We have 3 children and i have always been the bread winner. I am an alcoholi...
A. 24 December 2008: Hi. I was in a marriage similar to yours, 2 kids, married for 16 years, my husband had become an alcoholic. I will not assume to know about your marriage, but I'll just share with you about mine. My husband drank every single night, drinking to the ... (read in full...)
How not to lose your mistress?
Q. "...that must be very difficult..," the woman from Samaritans kept on saying. I knew things were difficult, I didn't need her to only remind me! I'm not suicidal, but my last panic attack over living without my mistress was crippling me! How not t...
A. 23 December 2008: I normally wouldn't respond to this kind of post, because I have no good advice to give, its just that this post made me so sad...I'm still trying to believe what I read. You don't seem to have any feelings for your wife, and yet you are having ... (read in full...)
Why is it so unfair? Why do I get treated so badly?
Q. does any thinks this is unfair?? guys reject me and hate me all the time.The guys who reject me always find a NEW girlfriend and NEW JOB even if a few months! but me i get nothing only yet another broken and cold rejection and only good things...
A. 22 December 2008: Original poster..I am like Dejuliet..I think you have written on here several times about this subject...are you just not liking the advice? Many of us have tried really hard to help you, but it just seems like you don't want to listen, don't want ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't seem to care about the things I do for him and never compliments me.
Q. My husband doesn't seem to care about the things I do for him, he never compliments me but tells me bad things about my physical appearance. He's always on everyones side except mine. Every time I try expressing my feelings he walks away, should ...
A. 22 December 2008: You don't say how long you have been married, if you have children, or if you love him, so its really rather hard to get a clear picture of what is going on...Obviously its really not kind of him to always put you down, walk away from you when you ... (read in full...)
Why is my friend planning such a thing? is she immature?
Q. Why is my friend planning such a thing? is she immature? my friend was very attached to me (she took me like her sister I felt) and so was i actually. i had other things going on and i distanced myself a bit because of stress in my life(thi...
A. 22 December 2008: I'm sorry about the end of your friendship, its sad to lose someone that you were close to. I'm sorry to say that yes, your friend sounds very immature. Her plan is actually quite cruel and childish and screams of "Look at me!". I'm glad that ... (read in full...)
My husband is obsessed with Johnny Cash and he wants to name our son SUE!!!
Q. My husband is obsessed with Johnny Cash and he wants to name our son SUE (I'm 5 months pregnant) as in the song. I honestly hate that name for a boy (and for a girl). He won't change his mind about it. I think he just is stressed about being a dad. ...
A. 21 December 2008: LOL..Oh Lord...I'm sorry..I'm not making fun of you..but this is just too much...I can certainly understand why you would be upset about this...I think it would be easier to accept if he wanted to use the name Johnny, right? (Could be a boy or a ... (read in full...)
I had sex in the heat of the moment with my best friend but I have a boyfriend.
Q. I am seventeen years old and I'm in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend. However, at a party one night, me and my best friends brother (age 24) decided to have in the heat of the moment sex. Now I'm worried if my boyfriend finds out he'll dump ...
A. 21 December 2008: This is a sticky mess..and more than likely either your boyfriend or your best friend are going to find out.....secrets don't usually stay secrets for long. Your best friend might forgive you, but the boyfriend may not..put the shoe on the other ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to take a break/breakup with my boyfriend after what has been going on inside me and how he possibly lied?
Q. I learned just a few weeks ago that my boyfriend or this other girl has been lying to me. She claims he asks her to hang out, and he says only with groups of people. I have yet to decide who to believe, but I have noticed that the past couple weeks ...
A. 21 December 2008: I believe that you made the right decision. If you don't have trust in a relationship, then what do you really have? If you have doubts about your guy, why stay with him wondering what is REALLY going on? If it turns out you were wrong about him, ... (read in full...)
Everyone around me says he's no good and I deserve way better, but you can't help who you love. What should I do?
Q. I'm hurt and don't know what to do. I recently took a break from my boyfriend because I can't trust him any more. I talked to a girl who said he's asked her to hang out behind my back. He says only as friends he asked her, but then why would he have ...
A. 21 December 2008: I'm afraid your friends called it right on this guy, luv. And deep down inside you know it too, you just aren't at the point where you want to accept it. Your brain is telling you, but your heart doesn't want to listen. He deliberately is trying to ... (read in full...)
How can it work?
Q. How can a relationship of a 9 years age difference work? I really like this guy (older), but it would obviously be against the law to date him now. Somehow my parents managed it (13 year age difference), but they met at work when they were both l...
A. 21 December 2008: Age doesn't have to be a factor in a relationship IF both parties are of legal, consenting age. Love knows no boundaries, or numbers. If both people respect each other, love and care for each other, then the age doesn't mean anything. The time when ... (read in full...)
Are men like this normally or do I need to spice things up?
Q. i have been in a relationship for 8 months. bf loves me but is not very lovey dovey and is very straight to the point. hed call me 5 times a day meet me everyday, say i love u a lot of times, make love to me and be with me. But at times hes with his ...
A. 21 December 2008: As a whole, men are not as "clingy" as we woman can be. They aren't normally as demonstrative, as affectionate, its not really their nature to be so. You know, they are more the breadwinner, protector sort of figure, so to speak. So more than ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't approve of current boyfriend but approves of ex and I'm confused about who to choose!
Q. i'm from an asian background (mauritian) and is a fact that mauritians marry or go out with mauritians, however i thought i was the different one and i'm going with someone who is black and my mother doesn't approve. He's a nice guy and everyone ...
A. 21 December 2008: Choose who will be best for your heart, luv. Its lovely when a family approves of a mate, but remember that your family (I'm assuming) won't be living with him, but you will. And although a family's approval is wonderful, it isn't everything, and ... (read in full...)
Should I settle for my boyfriend of 3 years who has been abusive and has a bad anger problem.
Q. Should I settle for my boyfriend of 3 years who has been abusive and has a bad anger problem. We were living together and I just kicked him out a couple of months ago cuz he tried to choke me at home while my kids were home, luckily they didn't see ...
A. 21 December 2008: Oh luv, in NO WAY should you go back to this man...as the others have said, in a clear logical mind, you wouldn't even consider such a thing when children are involved. Your judgment is clouded from feelings of emotion. Please don't endanger ... (read in full...)
I think the condom might have broke!!!
Q. I lost my virginity 2 days ago and he used a condom but I'm kinda nervous it broke. I know it's been two days but I'm having weird pains. Could I be pregnant??...
A. 21 December 2008: Hi. I know you must be worried and frightened..if you hurry, you still have time to the "morning after pill"..but it only has a time frame of 72 hours I believe, so time is of the essence! Do not delay. You can get them at most pharmacies. I can't ... (read in full...)
I think the condom might have broke!!!
Q. I lost my virginity 2 days ago and he used a condom but I'm kinda nervous it broke. I know it's been two days but I'm having weird pains. Could I be pregnant??...
A. 21 December 2008: Hi. I know you must be worried and frightened..if you hurry, you still have time to the "morning after pill"..but it only has a time frame of 72 hours I believe, so time is of the essence! Do not delay. You can get them at most pharmacies. I can't ... (read in full...)
I am really stressed and depressed, I feel I have nothing...
Q. life for is very depressing i live in town in ireland where there is nothing but houses and small few shopni gym and no nightlife and no where to go.very very few sports clubs..i hate the town i dying to leaave it but i can,t.i am 29 yaers old and i ...
A. 20 December 2008: Original poster: I read your post several times, and this isn't the first that you have written on here, you have written here MANY times and people give you wonderful advice, but you don't take it. WHY? Its almost like you don't want to help ... (read in full...)
I am really stressed and depressed, I feel I have nothing...
Q. life for is very depressing i live in town in ireland where there is nothing but houses and small few shopni gym and no nightlife and no where to go.very very few sports clubs..i hate the town i dying to leaave it but i can,t.i am 29 yaers old and i ...
A. 20 December 2008: If your counseling isn't helping you, is it possible for you to find another counselor? Perhaps you just don't click with the one that you have. Have they tried medications? Next, you may not be able to change your surroundings, but you can change ... (read in full...)
I'm losing that loving feeling!
Q. hey im scared that i have stopped feeling for this guy fancy my ex i woke up this morning and i thought of him (like every morning) and i didnt get that buddley feeling in my belly and i put are song on , put my headphones in my ears , cuddled ...
A. 20 December 2008: You're very young sweetie..and you will go through a whole range of emotions at your age. More than likely you'll date alot of guys before you are truly "in love"..so don't worry about it. Even when you are really in love with someone, you don't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I was a show off and hasn't talked to me in a week!
Q. My boyfriend and me went to this summer fair (I live in Australia) and we stated playing this ball ball game when you knock down milk bottles. He was horrible at it, he couldn't make a shoot. I didn't want he waste his money, so I grab the last ball ...
A. 20 December 2008: I'm afraid you embarrassed him and wounded his pride. For the most part, guys (especially around your boyfriends age) don't like to be shown up..especially by a GIRL! And if you rubbed it in, it just made it that much worse. Hard to say whether ... (read in full...)
No lust for g/f but I want her!
Q. Hiya, I'm in a relationship at the moment which is coming up to two months. We've been PERFECT with each other up till now when the other week my partner's grandmother passed away and she had to go away to the funeral and she was gone for about a ...
A. 20 December 2008: I wouldn't be too freaked out right now because your girl is going through alot, and obviously its affecting you as well. If this went on and on for months, then yes, there is a problem, but right now it could be nothing more than distress, ... (read in full...)
I have a pain on the left side of my breast, doctors don't know why, any idea?
Q. I have a pain on the left side of my breast, I had an ultrasound and a mammagram done this year. They found nothing wrong. So, does anyone know why I have this pain? ...
A. 20 December 2008: Hi.It could just be muscular, but I strongly advise you if the pain isn't going away, to get another opinion, if only for your own peace of mind. Doctors are not gods, and they do make mistakes, and miss things. I mean this with all respect, my ... (read in full...)
When my man flirts I lose all desire for him
Q. I posted earlier regarding my boyfriend's problem with flirting and being attracted to other women. Everyone's advice has been great and I appreciate it. I am on a new concern I would appreciate some wisdom back. First, I have a condition that...
A. 20 December 2008: I don't blame you at all for being upset. Its really quite humiliating and degrading to be with a man and he outright is flirting with other women. I think what you feel is very natural, I wouldn't want him touching me either. I got married very ... (read in full...)
What would you do if your boyfriend had an arm fetish?
Q. ladies got some questions for you. sorry about length thanks in advance (Ladies only please) 1. do you have a lot of hair on your arms? 2. what color of hair do you have on your arms? 3. can you see your arm hair when your arm is wet? 4. how does...
A. 20 December 2008: Hi..this is an interesting question!
1.No, I don't have alot of hair on my airs.
2. The hair is blonde.
3. Yes, you can see the hair when it is wet.
4. When the hair is dry it sort of sticks up.
5. When it is wet, it lies flat.
6.I guess my ... (read in full...)
We're not together should I tell him about ectopic pregnancy?
Q. If you had an ectopic pregnancy would you tell the guy you were seeing? Not seeing each other more, just friends now. It wasn't serious. He knows you haven't been feeling well at all and this explains why . . . is it a waste of time and just...
A. 20 December 2008: If you two aren't together, there's no hope for a future, I see no reason to tell him. What would it serve? If he keeps asking about your health, I'd just explain that you have been feeling under the weather, and leave it at that. I don't blame you ... (read in full...)
Why does he flirt with me when he says he doesn't want me back
Q. Hi everyone, This is about my ex bf, basically he dumped me nearly 2 months ago, anyway, we talk on the phone most days, see each other most days, just like when we where going out, Anyway, i still have feelings for him and he knows it, we whe...
A. 20 December 2008: I'm sorry to say but it sounds like he is playing mind games with you. He broke up with you, he knows you still like him...sounds like he's trying to make you jealous by flirting with your friend. He may just be trying to rub salt into the ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him my real age???
Q. Ok here's the story, I've been on this chat site for about 2 years, and because I was under the age you were allowed to join, when I joined, I obviously lied about my age, basically saying I was 3 years older than I actually am, I've built some very ...
A. 20 December 2008: Hi. I can understand that you feel worried about what his reaction will be. The best thing to do is to just be straightforward about it. Just bring it up in a conversation..something like "There's something I've been wanting to tell you..I should ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him my real age???
Q. Ok here's the story, I've been on this chat site for about 2 years, and because I was under the age you were allowed to join, when I joined, I obviously lied about my age, basically saying I was 3 years older than I actually am, I've built some very ...
A. 20 December 2008: Well..wow..this is kind of a bad situation..but I would highly advise that you tell this man now..sooner rather than later, because the longer it goes on, the worst it is going to be. I think you should just tell him the truth starting from the ... (read in full...)
Ladies please answer: He's 19 years younger is it ok to bring sex into the relationship?
Q. I have a good relationship with a younger man who is 19 years younger than I am. It is ok to consider sex in our relationship? The age thing won’t get in the way? Ladies please respond. Should an older woman have sex with a younger man? Any...
A. 19 December 2008: If you're both of legal age and you're both free, then you aren't hurting anyone, right? So why not go for it? After my divorce at 40, I only dated younger men (the youngest being 10 years younger). I found it quite refreshing after being married to ... (read in full...)
Why does he want me to 'bond' with his current fling?
Q. My best friend of 8 yrs is an ex-boyfriend of mine, he wants to introduce me to a female he is currently dating. Says the both of us are alike in so many ways, knows that we will get along without a doubt, and possibly would like us to spend ...
A. 19 December 2008: Since the two of you have remained so close, perhaps he truly values your opinion, and wants to get your take on this girl, maybe he is starting to feel serious about her and wants your "stamp of approval" so to speak? If it makes you feel any ... (read in full...)
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