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*milysanswers

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We have planned that we will start having sex this weekend, and I have some contraception questions!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend want to start having sex, and we have kind of planned that it will be this weekend. Im not sure which contraception to use and where i can get it from and how i use it and all that. I know that he already has condoms and i wasnt ...

A.   12 May 2010: Put "family planning clinic" and the name of your town into google. They have drop in sessions so you don't even need an appointment. The nurses down there will explain everything and give you condoms and show you how to put them on if you l... (read in full...)

What will happen after no sex for 8 months?

Q.   if a woman doesnt have sex for 8 months will her vagina tear the first time she does ...

A.   11 May 2010: No, she'll just eat you alive. Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)

Why shouldn't I pity him?

Q.   Hey. Last week, I was having an ordinary conversation with a male friend of mine who I feel pretty close to. I made a comment that I felt sorry for a guy we both know as no one seems to like him very much. He told me quite sharply that I should n...

A.   11 May 2010: It's an insult to their man hood. It's like if you open a jar they can't. It's just a jar, but these things matter to men. Pity is a huge insult to them. Don't try to understand, men are very very very odd creatures. Just learn the rules of ... (read in full...)

I had sex with a gay person, now my friend is making me feel afraid

Q.   Hi, I know there are so many questions asking about this kind of thing already, but I would like to ask for some advice or comments anyway. I'm a female, 22 years old and now living in the UK. Right now I'm having a bit of trouble identifying my s...

A.   11 May 2010: Your friend is talking crap. In the UK, a straight person is just as likely to have Aids as a gay one. The stats have changed. If you used a condom properly then you will be fine. Now you need to worry about what to do about the fact you ch... (read in full...)

Confusion over the kids!

Q.   Should I call it quits? I know everyones answer will prob be yes straight away but here goes. I met my now second Husband in a bar May 2008 we had a lot in common he was charming and made me laugh. we both had children of the same age 3 and 5 an...

A.   10 May 2010: We can't help if you aren't going to listen. This man is a horrible user. He is going to continue to lie, use, cheat and steal from you. He will not change because why should he? You let him walk all over you like a doormat. As soon as you kick... (read in full...)

The little things make me wonder if we will work long term.....

Q.   My boyfriend and I are each other's first serious relationships. We've been together for 9 months now and I'm just thinking about long-term compatibility. He's an amazing person and treats me well but sometimes there are little things that make...

A.   10 May 2010: If it's your first serious relationship then the chances are that it won't last for ever. First love is amazing, and it will stay with you forever, but that doesn't mean that a better love won't come along in 10 years time. You should never le... (read in full...)

My husband does not know how to be affectionate to me

Q.   My biggest problem is that my husband does not know how to be affectionate to me. He tells me, "you don't accept the love I have for you." He thinks that because he feels love for me, that should be enough. He doesn't understand how much I need ...

A.   10 May 2010: Probably. Didn't you notice he was like this before you married him? You just have to reach a compromise. Tell him you need him to make effort and you will make effort to do something HE wants and needs. You can't marry a duck and complai... (read in full...)

Does she like me and what should I do?

Q.   DO NOT SAY ITS IN MY HEAD BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WITNESS TO THIS AND SO HAS MY FRIEND. 1) Seemingly brush against you on purpose when walking past. She has only done this ONCE but it seemed she did this on purpose as there was plenty of room to avoid...

A.   9 May 2010: Go up to her and say "Hi." This is how you get started. Ask her how she is, tell her she looks nice, ask her how she's getting on with revision / homework / what ever. Ask her what she's doing this weekend. Ask her if she's seen that new fi... (read in full...)

What can I write in my boyfriend's sister's card for her 5th birthday?

Q.   Hey, I have bought my boyfriends sister a birthday card for her 5th birthdaii and i'm not sure what to write in it. Obviously her parents are going to see it so it needs to sound nice, friendly and wishfull.. Any ideas on what to write? ...

A.   7 May 2010: Dear Sid, Happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day and you get everything you wish for. Here's to another year of hanging out and having lots of fun, All My love, You. xxx... (read in full...)

I just want it to end with me having a little self respect

Q.   I cant live with what I keep doing with this guy. I know he isn't interested in dating me and just sees me a cheap thrill but everytime he hits on me I give in and we end up kissing and doing oral sex (never sex)and a day or 2 after it I feel bad, ...

A.   7 May 2010: Something that makes you feel good but is bad for you and addictive.... You have to think of this guy as a drug. You get a thrill short term but you know it's bad for you. So you just need to stay away from temptation and go cold turkey. ... (read in full...)

I am not sure if he is testing me or trying to control

Q.   hi would be grateful for any advice. I met a guy a few weeks ago and he told me straight away that he really likes me and i feel the same. he sees to be testing me non stop in various and perculiar ways and i think he could have been hurt in the ...

A.   7 May 2010: So you're said "I'm going to keep my distance and not get involved." which basically means "You are dumped." And now you are wondering why he's not acting like your boyfriend and keeping in touch????? You told him it's over and you don't want... (read in full...)

Confused about him playing with my hair and snogging

Q.   Hello a quick question about a guy ive been sort of seeing OK yeah ive been sleeping with him, yeah in kindof falling for him But the one big question-- when i pick him up 2 give him lift home,we always end up snogging, with him playing...

A.   7 May 2010: Maybe your hair is nice? Men do actually like kissing and doing all the soft stuff too. Don't ever think that it's all just a way for them to get sex. If you want him to be a boyfriend then you HAVE to stop having sex with him and tell him... (read in full...)

Should I just leave my boyfriend and be alone and stop the emotional affair I'm having?

Q.   Okay here it goes. I have been in a relationship for about 2 years now. We live together and sometimes I think we moved 2 fast. I meet this other guy through some friends and we have been talking a lot. I have been having an emotional affair. I ...

A.   7 May 2010: Only you can make this choice. You are very young and it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that first love will be your only love. It's great having a boyfriend, and you probably care deeply for him, but that doesn't mean you are still ... (read in full...)

I'd like to have reassurances that we're going to try for a baby at some point, and what to do if he doesn't really want children!

Q.   I'm a little confused and need some help. I have been with my current partner for 4 years now. We have separated 4 times within the 4 years together so things haven't always run smoothly. Recently I have approached the 'baby' subject. I have me...

A.   6 May 2010: I think you have to sit down and say that you want a serious talk and you want him to be honest with you and not just react. Tell him you want a baby by the time you are 35 and want to know if he wants one too. If he says no then I think you... (read in full...)

Will my helmet be a sex magnet?

Q.   I bought a Honda Shadow Aero today and from what I hear, if you strap a helmet to the back of your motorcycle, no matter what kind it is, the ladies will come from miles - is this true?...

A.   5 May 2010: Oh god yes. Kevlar that covers your entire face just turns me on so much more than an intelligent attractive man ever could. What's your address???? I'm on my way. Aw hun. Possibly when you stop acting like a 12 year old.... THEN women w... (read in full...)

Now he wants to leave a change of clothes at my house! What does this mean?

Q.   Been involved with a man now for more than 3 yrs and just recently when he came over to see me asked if he could leave a change of clothes at my house and even asked me if would wash them for him. This something totally out of the blue because the...

A.   4 May 2010: Well if he can use you as a changing room and have you do his washing then he going to. After 3 years, most men would have moved in and proposed... MINIMUM. If this guy wanted something serious then he would have by now. If you want a b... (read in full...)

He wants to go to Amsterdam with his mates yet we've never been on holiday!

Q.   my boyfriend of three years blurted out after being asked a week ago "I've been asked to go to Amsterdam for three days" i asked why he has only just told me this and he replied he didnt know how i would act. He has not had a job for ages and can ...

A.   4 May 2010: Well hun I'm sorry but you know he's useless, you know he can't even get a job.... why are you surprised that he's letting you down? He won't manage to get the spending money together most likely and will let down his mates. If you choose to go... (read in full...)

What did he mean when he said I should 'depend on him more'?

Q.   my boyfriend asked me the other day whether i depend on him or not, i said not really, i mean my definition of depending on him would be sticking to him, and being needy about everything. Then he said that he should depend on me more? I dont really ...

A.   4 May 2010: Why can't you talk to him about this? You need to learn to communicate since only he knows what's going on in his head. But what he might mean is that he wants you to feel you can go to him with your problems. Men NEED to feel needed. It's a c... (read in full...)

Why does my ex act angry and hostile?

Q.   Ok so i havent talked to my ex boyfriend in months. He contacted me and said he saw a car like mine in his neighborhood he swears it was the same license plate everything. I explained to him it wasnt me i even have proof and i was in a whole diffe...

A.   4 May 2010: Of course he wants you to be wanting him back. He wants you to know that he was the best thing you ever had, and cry nightly at the fact you will never have him again. He has a huge ego and can't stand the fact you have moved on and forgotten... (read in full...)

Feeling lonely with boyfriend working long hours

Q.   I have been going out with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now. He is a chef and works long hours which means we don't get to see each other much and we dont live together yet. Lately I have been feeling very lonely and been finding his job and hour...

A.   25 April 2010: You can try getting some more friends, joining clubs and groups, getting a hobby, and filling your time a lot more. And you have to make the time you do have together really special, so put it in the diary when he has a day off and plan somethin... (read in full...)

There seem to be strong feelings, but he won't spend time alone with me

Q.   How can someone supposedly want you or love you and not want to spend time with you alone?? I cant get my head round it. People we hang out with have often said 'he seems to like you but he seems like he's just too shy to tell you or even show it....

A.   25 April 2010: There comes a point where you have to give up. You can't talk him through it and do ALL the work in a relationship before it even starts. Move on. There are plenty of guys in the world who will like you enough to get off their arse and take a ... (read in full...)

I'm 15 and a virgin and I want to have sex. If I don't wait for the right person, will I regret it?

Q.   I'm 15 and still a virgin. All of my friends have had sex, i think im ready to but i really don't know what to do. i m not sure whether to wait for the right person or just go ahead and do it. if i don't wait for the right person will i regret it ...

A.   25 April 2010: If you lose it to some scabby little boy then you will always regret it. Plus, if you just let some boy have you then is he going to put effort in and get you to enjoy it? Nope you are going to get 3 awkward pumps and a grunt. Do you want to remem... (read in full...)

I'm only willing to date women who are Christian and in my area of attractiveness. How can I get better at dating?

Q.   Hi, First off, I'm not too concerned about this, I'm more just curious if there is anything else I can do. Secondly, I'm a Christian man really only willing to date women who strive after Christ with my passion, and are in my area of attracti...

A.   25 April 2010: You can date some one and see if you like them at the same time you know. If you meet a girl and think you might like her, then ask her out. You can take it slowly as long as you give her enough signals that you like her. Holding hands... (read in full...)

I've never had a boyfriend but get asked for sex all the time. Why?

Q.   hey guys :) basically i am 16 years old and i have never had a boyfried!! i mean i have got into someone and done other things but i have never had a boyfriend. My friends say its because they are to scared to ask for a relationship because i a...

A.   25 April 2010: I've seen underage girls in town and generally men don't respect them. They think if they are out clubbing they must be up for cheap sex too. Because "nice" girls don't go out like that. If boys your age know you go out and you dress up then the... (read in full...)

He doesn't treat me with respect,, but I don't want to lose him

Q.   My boyfriend does not treat me the way I want to be treated he belittles me al the time. I believe is my fault because he has been doing for a while now and I have never been able to defend my self. Now I'm beyond tired of it. I don't even feel like ...

A.   25 April 2010: You accept that any man can be "nice" when he wants to be. It's what they're like when they aren't nice... that's the real them. You are you going out with a horrible excuse for a man. He won't change. Leave him and find a nice guy. They re... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend have such a one track mind?

Q.   okay so i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and everytime were alone he always trys to have sex with me its so annoying! Some days i just want to hang out watch a movie and cuddle but he just wants to have sex.... and when i tell him no he ...

A.   25 April 2010: Why have you put up with it for so long? He acts like this because you put up with it and it means he gets his own way. If you stand up to him and let him know that if he carries on acting like a 2 year old he WILL lose you, then he might le... (read in full...)

What is the secret to a lasting relationship?

Q.   Hi there, My sister and her bf have been together for 4 years, my aunt and uncle have been together for 15 years, and my grandparents for 38 years. I want to know what is the secret to maintaining a good relationship. What do u do in order for the ...

A.   25 April 2010: It becomes a lot easier with a bit of maturity, so don't expect it straight away. Your first love will hardly ever be your only love, but because it hits you so hard, you think it's going to last for ever. So once you've had a few boyfriends, ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me more than he has loved anyone but cant be with me because his mother hates me!

Q.   My boyfriends mother hates me. She has no reason to, and if he asks her why, she responds by shouting at him that she doesn't want to talk about it. On wednesday last week she banned me from their family home (she did last year for 4 months)....

A.   25 April 2010: It seems he's made his choice. He doesn't want to man up and look after himself. He's choosing to stay at home with mummy. I say walk away for a while. Stop texting him. Go out and have fun. Let him miss you. When he realises what he's losin... (read in full...)

What should I do to keep myself occupied while he is away? I'm determined to make it work this time!

Q.   Now, I won't lie to you, this is a very peculiar relationship predicament I find myself in. And it's as painful as it is unusual. I first saw this man several years ago, when I was very young indeed. And he was, well, not very young. I watched him ...

A.   25 April 2010: Do a search on this site for army wife. You're really no different from any long distance relationship. Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)

How do I overcome my fear of losing my best friend?

Q.   hey guys, i am scared of losing my best friend, i need to trust him and i am trying. I am scared he is going to find a new best friend, how do i over come this? He has told me many times that i am being silly. HELP. We have been arguing a lot ...

A.   25 April 2010: This isn't a friendship, this is a co-dependency. It's a relationship with no make up sex. Let eachother go and get a boyfriend. You'll be happier. Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)

Why does my ex act angry and hostile?

Q.   Ok so i havent talked to my ex boyfriend in months. He contacted me and said he saw a car like mine in his neighborhood he swears it was the same license plate everything. I explained to him it wasnt me i even have proof and i was in a whole diffe...

A.   25 April 2010: He's an ex boyfriend, they all act strangely. Why do you bother going to the effort of justifying yourself to him? Just ignore him if he texts again. Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)

Are there any places I can turn to as an 18 year old who is 8 weeks pregnant?

Q.   hi im 8 weeks pregnant and want to get away from my family and boyfriend. are there any places i could turn to? i have no where to go and want to get away. please help! ...

A.   25 April 2010: You can go and sign up for a council house although there is a long wait. It depends why you want to get away from them. If it's because they are beating you up and taking drugs and stealing your stuff, then they'll put you in a refuge or Bed and ... (read in full...)

What should I do when I am having sex without a condom on?

Q.   i'm a virgin , and i have been wondering what to do when im having sex without a condom and im about to cum, do i cum inside her or tell her im about to cum or what? HELP!...

A.   25 April 2010: Just yell out "CHLAMYDIA!!!!" since you probably both have it anyway. Oh and while you're hear read all the questions from really great women who are going to dump guys because they have a kid and ex girlfriend in the frame. Or you could just m... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won't move out of the house he shares with is ex because of his child! Help!

Q.   Hi Guys, I'm new to the site and I need a bit of advice. I have been with my boyfriend for approx 6 months (doesnt sounds long I know), We were friends before and it grew into a relationship. I knew that this guy lived with his ex and 5 y...

A.   25 April 2010: Unfortunately you've picked a guy who has these issues and you knew about them when you got together. You are never going to be first with him, and you are going to have to put up with the long hours. I'm not sure why you are banned from thei... (read in full...)

Why is she even with me?

Q.   Ok, I'll try to summarise this as best I can. We've been dating almost a year, and within the past 4 or 5 months, my girlfriend seems to have actually grown to detest me. She refuses all physical contact, I can't even kiss her on the cheek nowada...

A.   25 April 2010: I think you need to stand up for yourself. Tell her how unhappy you are and ask where it's gone wrong. If she's not willing to change or even talk about it then I think you have to leave. I'm not entirely sure why you have stuck around tak... (read in full...)

I woke up and found she'd left me taking the 2 kids with her...

Q.   I really dont know what to do any more, and I need help. I have 1 son with my partner and I have brought up her other son from birth as my own, cos at one point we split up and slept with someone and got pregnant but since then we sorted things out ...

A.   25 April 2010: Well you need to get yourself sorted. Go and see your GP or someone to see what could cause you to be such a bad partner to her. Do you drink or do anything else that makes you worse? If so, stop it. Once you have got yourself sorted out you c... (read in full...)

Could the bleeding be from a broken hymen?

Q.   Okay Im a virgin I used a dildo today for the first time,. Afterwards I was bleedin and still kinda am , did i break the hymen ? please help thanks. x...

A.   25 April 2010: If it doesn't stop you may have to go and get it looked at by a doctor. Go out and then tell your mum you slipped while climbing a fence or something. Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)

Did I do the right thing by ditching her?

Q.   hi. im in some trouble here. I work at a hardware store in the garden department. a girl my age works as a cashier. we became friends instantly and playfully flirt quite a bit. lately there has been a growing sexual, emotional tension. awhile ago ...

A.   25 April 2010: Well obviously he doesn't make her as happy as she claims or she wouldn't be ditching him for you all the time, texting you all the time, and everything else. All is fair in love and war, so I say go for it. Tell her you think she's beautiful,... (read in full...)

Does my friend mean it when he says this is our last chance?

Q.   my best friend came on to me jus 2day ago, i said no, so he got angry and told me to leave, he came after me two minutes later to apologise and he apologised for the rest of the day. I felt rubbish when i got home cried my eyes out, i still was not ...

A.   25 April 2010: You have to realise that you are using him as more than a friend here. You can't have a guy around to be that close to and have as your support mechanism and hug them and love them and then them NOT have feelings for you. If you want to be w... (read in full...)

Why do men make suggestive comments?

Q.   Why do men make suggestive comments. I have known a man for 6 years and we have flirted on and off over that time. He says he likes winding me up from time to time. More recently though he has made more suggestive comments and when I have jokingly ...

A.   25 April 2010: Sounds like he's just joking around. But if you like him then don't just flirt, give out some signals. Look at him in a sexy way when you see him, and don't flirt so jokingly anymore. Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)

My mom doesn't like the fact that I'm a lesbian!

Q.   Me and my girlfriend broke up last year and I took it pretty bad. My mum had an idea I was a lesbian through knowing other people I have liked but last year was my first gay relationship. My friends stopped talking to me and I had no one. My mum ...

A.   25 April 2010: If she's raised to think that way they it will be difficult for her to change, and she's probably really been trying to be open minded, and keep these feelings hidden. She knows that you are going to be socially excluded by people, mis treated ... (read in full...)

Could the bleeding be from a broken hymen?

Q.   Okay Im a virgin I used a dildo today for the first time,. Afterwards I was bleedin and still kinda am , did i break the hymen ? please help thanks. x...

A.   24 April 2010: You put a penis into you so you probably broke the hymen. As YouWish says, may girls lose their hymen LONG before they have sex for the first time, so it's not a big deal. Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)

Confusion over the kids!

Q.   Should I call it quits? I know everyones answer will prob be yes straight away but here goes. I met my now second Husband in a bar May 2008 we had a lot in common he was charming and made me laugh. we both had children of the same age 3 and 5 an...

A.   5 January 2010: If you want to stay with a horrible, cheating and probably violent man then that is your choice. Good luck with that. Don't tell me, he's really sweet sometimes, and makes you feel special when he says he's sorry for whatever. But your children... (read in full...)

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