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| | Dr Pete's profile:Hi, I first came to this website in April 2006 and got some advice on a problem I was having, it was great to get an outside perspective on it.
If you want to contact me for any reason please send me a message. If you have a question you want me to look at then please paste me the link to it in the message so I can reply there. |
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Bush wants to redefine birth control as "abortion", what do you think?
Q. This site seems to have a good cross section of folks from different walks of life, so I wanted to see what people out there think about this. The Bush administration is proposing a redefining of the term "abortion" to include birth control. The ...
A. 22 July 2008:
If you are old enough to get involved in a political discussion then your age is largely irrelevant. You do have a valid opinion, but you can not then justify your point and disregard the argument purely on grounds of your age. If you want to b... (read in full...)
Is what I said years ago making him believe I want to have sex with him?
Q. This question just popped into my head after thinking about a situation at least five or six years ago. A long-distance male friend of mine and I were talking about sex (we were in middle school at the time). He's been very sexually active for year...
A. 22 July 2008: You're a virgin describing your sexual fantasies to him, you can't blame him for getting the wrong idea really. You said it to impress him, and now he's impressed, I'd say he'd definitely think he is in with a chance.
I think maybe you should m... (read in full...)
I have a pain in my left testicle, but no lumps. Any advice would be appreciated.
Q. Hey, im 16 and i have a problem that has been worrying me greatly over the past few weeks i feel a pain in my left testicle, it is very mild, i have felt for any lumps but found nothing I dont have the courage to tell my parents and i am scar...
A. 21 July 2008: I agree, give it a couple of days and if you don't notice any improvement, get yourself down the doctors.
As a guy who has been examined more than once, I can assure you that being seen by a doctor or nurse isn't anywhere near as bad as you thin... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a 42 yr old man to fancy a 19 yr old girl?
Q. is it normal for a 42 yr old man to fancy a 19 yr old girl. The man i'm shaggin and love tho he wont have a relationship with me, has told me that he's met a 19yr old girl who gave him her number and asked him to call her so they could meet for ...
A. 21 July 2008: I wouldn't say it was abnormal. I think many older men fancy girls of that age. Does that make them perverted, I'm not so sure. If you label men who fancy younger women perverts, then what about the girls who fancy them, is there something wrong ... (read in full...)
We had sex a day ago, he hasn't contacted me since. Is it ok for me to call him?
Q. This guy I've been dating for almost two months and I finally had sex. He was kind of sparing in his contact with me before, which came every two or three days, and I haven't heard from him since (a day). Is it okay for me to get in touch with hi...
A. 21 July 2008:
Nice guy you got there who sleeps with you and then doesn't bother to call you afterwards to check how you are doing.
If you want to get in contact with him then you should, as if you wait, you could be waiting along time - forever maybe.
... (read in full...)
It started off stong and now it's fading!
Q. Basically, I've been with this guy for nearly 4 months now, and I am head-over heels for him. We used to spend so much time together, but then I went away for a couple of weeks. When I came back, he seemed distanced from me, we used to see each ...
A. 20 July 2008: Hey ya,
It is sad when relationships fade away like this, but unfortunately that is how a lot of relationships end. I don't know if it is any consolation but I think anyone who has really loved as been in your situation and has felt as confused... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to deal with hearing the news about my abusive ex and his new girlfriend!
Q. My ex bf would sexually abuse me all the time and sometimes emotionally abuse me. While we were going out, his best friend would talk to me often and say things that portrayed him as being a guy who sleeps around alot and just generally not a good ...
A. 19 June 2008:
I think the longer you stay involved in this whole situation, the worse it is going to hurt you so you need to get away from him and his mates, and if they are both your mates, consider loosing them for your own sanity.
I know what you mea... (read in full...)
What do boys look for in a 14 year old girl, aside from sex?
Q. im 14 an i have never had a boy friend. my best friend was the first 1 in our year 2 loose her virginity she was only 13, nearly 14. she isnt a slut or anything just fort she had found the perfect guy but he dumped her a week after this was terrible ...
A. 18 June 2008: If a guy thinks there is a chance that he can have sex with you, then it is probably just sex that he is interested in and he will probably say anything to get it. Despite that, you can have great friendships with the opposite sex, you just have to ... (read in full...)
He left me, but was a great father to our children, now he's thinking about starting over, should I give him a chance?
Q. Hello I'm a 34 year old women. I've been with a guy for 13 years. We have struggled with money issues for as long as I can remember and we now have three beautiful children together (a 5yr old, a 3yr old and a 2yr old.) When my 2nd child was ...
A. 18 June 2008:
There are worse traits in someone than finding commitment difficult and not being able to live up to the role they are supposed to be.
He has obviously hurt you by leaving you, and there is a chance he will do it again, but the question is,... (read in full...)
Had unprotected sex, he pulled out but some semen dripped near... what are the chances of getting pregnant?
Q. I had unprotected sex yesterday with my boyfriend and he pulled out RIGHT before he came, none got inside me but some dripped near that region and now I'm worried. What are the chances of getting pregnant over something like that?...
A. 18 June 2008: If he pulled out and semen dripped near your region, but didn't end up inside you, then you won't be pregnant.
You should also be worried about pre-cum.
If he had recently ejaculated and then not urinated then it more than likely his pre-c... (read in full...)
What hurts the most is that my parents bring my ex up in conversations and blame me for losing a potentially good husband, as most others think! Help me deal with this painful situation!
Q. I feel really inadequate to my ex bf who broke up with me. I cant seem to get over the feeling of him not wanting to be with me anymore. It doesn't help that he never gave me a real reason for breaking up with me, or that it was in a text message. I ...
A. 18 June 2008: I read your message and I see someone who really has a low opinion of herself - and by that I don't mean you were in any way less than your ex.
Like Annalisa said, if he was such a great guy, he would have split up with you as carefully and sens... (read in full...)
How can I deal with this annoying situation?
Q. I'm SO sick of my Ex asshole-boyfriend asking me to go over his house, too hook up, to be friends with benefits..all this stuff. It's DISGUSTING. He won't stop insisting! I broke up with him because he's just that - an asshole with a huge ego who ...
A. 15 June 2008: By being nice to him, you are sending him the wrong message, he probably thinks he is in with a chance with you.
Show him this URL, then he will know where he really stands.
Alternatively, just be honest with him. You might upset him ... (read in full...)
It's been over a year since I found a tape of my boyfriend and his ex having sex! How do I get over it?
Q. About one year ago, i found a tape of my boyfriend and his ex having sex. I threw it away and he rerecorded it over one of my tapes. I still can't get over it but he tells me that we need to move on. It's been over a year since it happened. It still ...
A. 10 June 2008: I don't think you need to grow up as you have a valid reason to be upset, but I do think if this is bothering you on a daily basis after over a year then there is a good chance that you will never get over it whilst you are still with him.
After... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and my boyfriend is trying to cut me out of his life!
Q. (I NEED MENS ADVICE mostly) i am 3 months pregnant. abortion is not a option and my bf is at uni he hasnt spoken to me since i told him which was 2 weeks ago he has deleted me of myspace, facebook and wont talk to me he puts his phone voicemail wont ...
A. 10 June 2008: Hey
Unplanned pregnancies and "big" events can cause men to run away for a while, it's how they can think about the situation. Whilst it is true that some guys can break all contact and never come back, you do say that you really loved each oth... (read in full...)
Am I being just another married man who wants to have his cake & eat it?
Q. I should start by saying that this is going to sound very stupid coming from a 57 year old man, but it is honestly causing me a great dilemma. Over the last 6 years we have spent many fantastic holidays in Phuket, staying in the same res...
A. 10 June 2008: I'm surprised your wife allows you to visit Thailand so much!
I have stayed in Phuket, so I know what it is really like there - as do you considering you have been going over there for 6 years!
As much as I hate to generalise, I wo... (read in full...)
I've tried everything to get rid of the acne! Any useful advice?
Q. I am so fed up of suffering with acne since my early teenage life....over the years I have tried so much-just about everything to get rid of it but nothing ever works! Firstly I am NOT stressed, I am a happy person and enjoy life. I do alot ...
A. 10 June 2008: Did your dermatologist not tell you about Roaccutane? This is some seriously powerful medication with some pretty severe side effects.
I found it extremely successful, I had quite bad acne as a teenager but a few weeks/months after using Ro... (read in full...)
As soon as I met the Internet guy he started acting as though we were a couple, do you think he does have feelings for me and what should I do next?
Q. I've known a guy over the internet for 5 years now.. but started talking again 3 years ago. So we know eachother pretty well and our personalities. Since speaking we've been very flirty with eachother and we decided to meet up late last month. I've ...
A. 8 June 2008: Wow you both seem really loved up with each other!
2 - 3 hours by car isn't the end of the world, you could certainly still have a relationship together, especially if you have been getting to know each other for so long already. What is stopp... (read in full...)
Is masturbation good to help you last longer?
Q. Is masturbation good to help you last longer? If so what kinda technique while masturbating would help me last longer which my girlfriend?...
A. 8 June 2008: I agree, you may not be able to get or stay hard during sex if you masterbate too much, especially if you do it just before sex.
Not lasting long is predomantly psychological, you need to take it nice and easy and feel comfortable with the girl... (read in full...)
Was he really just trying to use me for sex?
Q. I am wondering my ex bf was trying to use me for sex when we were together. I really feel like I need to know whether or not he was with me just for sex (although I never gave into the pressure) or was there something more to it? He put alot of...
A. 8 June 2008: Unless you have a history of being insecure and seeing things that arn't there then I would listen to your gut feeling. You know his friend is wrong about him, because clearly he isn't strictly religious, nor is he "decent" because a decent guy ... (read in full...)
I'd appreciate help to sort boyfriends behaviour out rather than answers tellin me to leave him?
Q. yep, me again! this time, its about my boyfriend again, but his mental problems: something could happen to him like he loses his wallet, or he loses his lighter, or cigarettes, his lighter runs out of gas, then he gets really pissed off, and ...
A. 7 June 2008: When he is calm you need to sit him down and to explain to him exactly what he is doing wrong.
Tell him, kindly and without any anger yourself, that you do not want to be spoken like that again and if he continues to do it, you will begin to... (read in full...)
Why would a guy choose to wear a condom even when we are using the pill?
Q. im not complaining about the fact my bf wants to wear a condom. we started with them then after 8 months we just used the pill now 6 months later he wants to use them again which i dont mind but why would a guy want to start using them again? he ...
A. 7 June 2008:
What sort of relationship do you have when he won't even tell you why he wants to use a condom! If that is his view, why are you even having sex with him? You shouldn't accept that answer even if you were having a one night stand with some... (read in full...)
I'm sad to be leaving, any advice?
Q. I'll try and keep it simple. Basically in september I am moving away for university, its about two hours away, which isn't too bad. The problem is, I was feeling really optimistic about it in the beginning, the university is beautiful and I'm really ...
A. 6 June 2008: Life would be really easy if we could get less attached to people just by deciding to do so! I think Jess it will be difficult no matter what you do. If you stay close, you will miss him, but if you pull apart from him now, you will feel that ... (read in full...)
I need both guys and girls points of view!
Q. I need both guys and girls points of view! Basically,I am 14 and have given and recieved oral and today at school i stupidley let it slip. None of my friends have even given a hand job. i am very old in my year (year 9)as my b'day is in sep and wi...
A. 6 June 2008: I remember being in year 8 and this girl show people in our class she has condoms and had sex, for the rest of the school years everyone saw her as a slut. Maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. The point is, sexual experience is personal, and unless ... (read in full...)
Do people who cheat change?
Q. hi, my question is basically this, do people ever change ? for example if they have cheated on you, what is the likelyhood of them doing it again ? and are they really genuine when they cry and cry, and tell you how sorry they are ? thanks :)...
A. 6 June 2008:
People change all the time everyday, it is part of being human. But you need to look at the reasons for why someone has done something wrong to see whether or not you think they will do it again or change their ways.
Some people cheat once, ... (read in full...)
Is he just using me to experiment with things he's always wanted to do?
Q. I've been seeing this guy and things are beginning to get serious. The other night he told me that his ultimate fantasy is "dp" which I just recently learned means double penetration. Where there's 2 guys on one girl. I would neverrr do that.. like ...
A. 6 June 2008: I think you should go with your intuition too. Also, I don't think you are either inexperienced or quite conservative, you raise some fair questions considering the circumstances.
Do most guys start talking about fantasies of double penetrat... (read in full...)
Help my ex has a naked photo of me!
Q. So my ex has a nude photo of me, well he works with me and my current boyfriend. I found out today that he has shown this picture to quite a few people I work with. My boyfriend hasn't found out about it yet, but I want to be the one to tell him. ...
A. 1 June 2008: Your boyfriend should hear this from you, rather than some random stranger. If you tell him, at least you can tell him your side of the story. If he hears it from someone else, I'm sure he will take it badly and it will affect your relationship.
... (read in full...)
Will having meaningless sex at such a young age make it less meaningful later in my life?
Q. I'm 16, never actually dated, and I recently lost my virginity to a guy that I don't have feelings for. I think (protected)M sex is fun, but I'm worried about how it could effect my relationships later in life. Will having meaningless sex ...
A. 1 June 2008: I agree, it's mainly down to personal opinion and how you go on to perceive the events in your life that determine whether or not you end up regretting something.
A good goal, I think, to aspire to, is that everything should be in moderati... (read in full...)
Should I forgive and forget the one night stand he had when we had just started seeing each other?
Q. I just got engaged and found out a week later that my fiance had a one night stand a month after we met (2+ years ago). He told me about it bc I asked him and caught him in a lie about it (the weekends didn't match up; I have a better memory than ...
A. 1 June 2008: I agree. It sounds like you two had not got serious yet? Unless he is showing signs of being anything but in to you, I think you need see this in the context that you were also having "minor" dates with others - e.g. - you weren't exclusive yet.
... (read in full...)
I slept with my wife's sister and best friend, one is now pregnant...what can I do?
Q. Hi all This is all a complete mess!!! I slept with both my wifes sister and her best friend and dont know what i can do now. They both came onto me and are so hot that i could not resist either of them... The problem i have now is t...
A. 29 May 2008:
I'd definately go with being truthful on this. It will take some serious guts and emotional strength to be honest for the short-term, but in the long-term it will work out for the best. The best for you and for everyone else involved.
I h... (read in full...)
What should I expect when I go and see a counsellor/therapist?
Q. Hi, i was just writing to ask, what should i expect when i go and see a counciller/therapist? I dont want to go into detail about why im going to see one, i just want to know what will happen there? Thanks, tasha x...
A. 28 May 2008: Hi Tasha, it very much depends on the kind of therapist you are seeing and why you are going, but generally all therapists should seem welcoming and put you at ease as they know you will be feeling anxious about it.
They won't ask you any direct q... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has gotten abusive
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we recently had a baby during my pregnancy he started getting a little aggressive just doing little things like pulling my hair and pinching me, since the birth of our son its got worse in the ...
A. 28 May 2008: I agree, it's great to hear you are doing well :)... (read in full...)
Can I still have a baby after two abortions?
Q. when i was 21 i had an abortion i had it want my choice my bf wanted me to have the abortion even though it was a planned prenancy anyways he flipped on me the 2nd abortion was with this guy i loved and i though that he was different than the other ...
A. 28 May 2008: Like ladycharm said, unless you had complications then there is no reason why you won't become pregnant again.
Also, you have as much right to a baby as any one else. Just because you chose to go through two abortions doesn't change that. ... (read in full...)
Try Jesus, 9 out of 10 jews can't be wrong.
Q. Good Evening London. Theres times when i come to this place and i lose all hope and faith in mankind. It seems to be that time of year where the birds and the bees are at it.. how they manage that i'll never know. And everyone if meeting n...
A. 25 May 2008:
I agree with you, partially.
It is an annoyance to have a barrage of seemingly fake posters, and worse, an increasing loud voice from the religiously motivated; who masquerade their own disturbed and mistake-ridden life with well meaning yet ... (read in full...)
I'm sad to be leaving, any advice?
Q. I'll try and keep it simple. Basically in september I am moving away for university, its about two hours away, which isn't too bad. The problem is, I was feeling really optimistic about it in the beginning, the university is beautiful and I'm really ...
A. 24 May 2008: Hey Jess
It is totally normal to have all these feelings about going off to University. Pretty much everything in your life changes at once, and that is naturally frightening.
But - everyone you will be around is in exactly the same boat as... (read in full...)
Why is my body failing to respond to her?
Q. Hi all I am a 25 year old guy and i have always considered myself pretty horny and having a good healthy sexual appetite, I have just recently become involved with a good friend who i have known for about 5 years but its only in the last couple ...
A. 23 May 2008: Ah, poor you!
If you have been OK sexually with other girls then it is either the way you see the girl, or it is the way you see your relationship.
If it's the first, you say that she is easily the most attractive girl, but that isn't the s... (read in full...)
I dreamt that I made out with my best girl friend!! What does it mean?
Q. i had a really bad dream..but before that let me tell u that i think i am bi..i want to have sex with a woman although i havent yet done it!!!comimg back to my dream..i dreamt of making out with my best girl friend..it totally grossed me out..i ...
A. 21 May 2008: Often dreams don't mean anything, they are just a disjointed mix of emotional feelings and physical appearances that are both experienced from the preceding day or two.
If you are wondering about being bisexual and are often around your girl fri... (read in full...)
Every time we pass a girl he has slept with he makes disturbing comments - should I take it as a sign of his own insecurities? Should I be worried?
Q. I am going to be a sophomore in college, and i am currently dating a guy who is going to be a senior. Although our relationship is pretty new, i can honestly see myself with him for a really long time, if not forever. Things are going great, but ...
A. 21 May 2008: It sounds like you are the mature one in the relationship, and any insecurities that you do have are perfectly normal, especially for someone your age.
I am surprised you let him get away with saying such derogatory comments though, maybe this is ... (read in full...)
I used her, and I regret it! What now?
Q. My uncle always told me "Think With The Right Head". Today I didn't. Ok so its been a long time since ive been close to a girl and i miss that feeling. and then today me and my friend were hanging out. I originally planned to give her something but ...
A. 11 May 2008: I agree with the below answer, and you sound like a decent guy to me or this wouldn't be bothering you. It may be your first mistake with the ladies, but I assure you it won't be the last! We all make mistakes and it is how we learn from them that ... (read in full...)
Shes the only girl I have felt a connection with do you think I have messed things up?
Q. Hello everyone. OK this is kinda lengthy so to give you all the detail you need in order to give me the best advice here. I have worked with this girl who I shall call Mrs A since the end of March and she left last Tuesday, so end of April. ...
A. 11 May 2008: I think you need to step back, too. I don't think you messed things up but I do think that with both your pasts, and your characters, that you just aren't good for each other. I think you will have a very explosive relationship, things will always ... (read in full...)
I want him in my life, I couldnt bare it if I never heard from him again
Q. Hi im not really gd at explaining myself but il try. This guy who i completely think the world of has gone all distant on me. we clicked str8 away.. we met up for about 6 months..we got intimate..we were so close now its changed. He says he hasnt...
A. 9 May 2008: You have nothing to be embarrassed about, everyone has been where you are, and if they haven't yet then they will one day. I think what you need to do is get your head around the idea that you are not always responsible for how someone else ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has gotten abusive
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we recently had a baby during my pregnancy he started getting a little aggressive just doing little things like pulling my hair and pinching me, since the birth of our son its got worse in the ...
A. 1 October 2007: Nice one Cathy, it is excellent to hear you took action and changed your life.
You will be an inspiration to other people who read this and are in the situation you were in. Well done!
Peter... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has gotten abusive
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we recently had a baby during my pregnancy he started getting a little aggressive just doing little things like pulling my hair and pinching me, since the birth of our son its got worse in the ...
A. 22 September 2007: Hey Cathy, well done on making the decision to tell someone and to get out of there, I am completely confident that you made the right choice and I know you will too once you have managed to get through it all.
You might have to go through ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has gotten abusive
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and we recently had a baby during my pregnancy he started getting a little aggressive just doing little things like pulling my hair and pinching me, since the birth of our son its got worse in the ...
A. 21 September 2007: You have a responsibility to your son, and having read the below excellent advice from the other aunts how will you ever justify to yourself when your son grows up to abuse women like your boyfriend does to you?
There will never be a good tim... (read in full...)
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