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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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Do you know any links to good artices in DearCupid please re fellatio?
Q. I just started dating after getting out of a 15 year marriage. My ex never liked blow jobs and really zapped my confidence with his criticism so I need a step by step guide of giving a good bj. Thanks!...
A. 13 February 2012: Dear "Educatingrita," I also wrote the following a few years ago:
Okay, first of all, there is no "blowing" in a blow job, as previously suggested. Perhaps a little blowing on the tip might be interesting, but for the most part, a good blow job prim... (read in full...)
Do you know any links to good artices in DearCupid please re fellatio?
Q. I just started dating after getting out of a 15 year marriage. My ex never liked blow jobs and really zapped my confidence with his criticism so I need a step by step guide of giving a good bj. Thanks!...
A. 11 February 2012: Well, I wrote this in 2008. You can also search the above for additional information regarding blow jobs.
First of all, a good session of fellatio does take some time when properly orchestrated, which makes it all quite enjoyable for most men. A b... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend easy?
Q. my girlfriend told me what she did before we met telling me how she let a guy fuc` her in the as` on the first night .she tell me this when we are fighting as she know it hurts me. she just told me she had 4one nightstands a guy told me she was easy ...
A. 10 February 2012: In my initial response to you, I wrote that if it were me, "I would probably not be calling her 'my girlfriend.'" I'll stand by that, but I have been "sexual friends" with many girls in my life. So, I would be a hypocrite to condemn your friend for ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend easy?
Q. my girlfriend told me what she did before we met telling me how she let a guy fuc` her in the as` on the first night .she tell me this when we are fighting as she know it hurts me. she just told me she had 4one nightstands a guy told me she was easy ...
A. 10 February 2012: You could also call her "fun loving" or very "open minded." As for me, I would probably not be calling her "my girlfriend."... (read in full...)
Should we get another man involved because I cant get my wife to orgasm any more?
Q. My wife and I are seventy still want sex. I can't keep it hard to insert it in the vagina. I have had this problem for about five years, it just will not stay hard long enough, I can have a orgasm my wife uses a strong vibrator,on me and it still ...
A. 7 February 2012: If you are considering having another man screw your wife, then I suppose you must be open to it. But I think a better alternative would be first trying Viagra. It works rather well, even if you are taking certain medications that affect erection, ... (read in full...)
I cant last more than a few seconds when having sex! Help!
Q. im 24 and ive noticed that i cant last for more than a few seconds in bed. ive been suffering from this premature ejaculation problem since Very long time. ive tried to overcome it but nothings good enough. i cant last for than 4-5 thrusts. if ...
A. 7 February 2012: Just search online for Kegel exercises. You can also search on this Web site by using the search feature above right. Also, just in case you have been masturbating a lot and watching pornography, cut down on that. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't seem to like foreplay
Q. How can I get my bf to have more foreplay with me before sex? The way he normally has sex and even goes down on me is kind of "straight to the point" with very little kissing or teasing. Its very hard for me to actually climax during oral because ...
A. 6 February 2012: Well, at least he is willing to give oral, but a "couple of minutes" is hardly enough. In my experience, it takes a good 10-15 minutes to get a woman's juices flowing. And I agree that foreplay before that is best. But I don't know how you can get ... (read in full...)
I really want to give him head. Is this normal?
Q. Dear cupid, I'm 19, I've been seeing this guy for 5 months, he's 23. I've known him for a year now, but only started taking it further in Sept 2011. We've been through our ups and downs, and we do communicate a lot, he's very straight up with ...
A. 6 February 2012: It's ok as long as he is healthy and disease free. And yes, most girls I've known enjoy giving and receiving oral. If you let him cum in your mouth, expect it to probably taste bitter and salty. You can swallow down quickly and chase it with some ... (read in full...)
Is too much sex bad for my relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have shared a brilliant and adventurous sex life. I have a very high sex drive and he has always been able to keep up until recently he is turning me down more and more. I initiate the sex I'd say 4 ...
A. 5 February 2012: As for myself, I've never had a problem with a highly sexual girlfriend or wife. It was a blessing. My philosophy has always been that, once a couple get beyond the initial sex acceptance in a relationship, then everything is good. Few women have ... (read in full...)
Would it be safe to have oral sex after my boyfriend's cold sore is gone?
Q. My boyfriend has a cold sore on his lip and it just made me wonder if we have oral sex long after it's gone (we've not had it yet and aren't planning it yet either) and we have no STI's, would it still be safe to have oral sex without forms of ...
A. 4 February 2012: One more thing - cold sores may sometimes have some connection with a serious yeast infection - sometimes called thrush in Great Britain. The only time in my life having many cold sores began after sex with a younger woman who thus exposed me. The ... (read in full...)
Would it be safe to have oral sex after my boyfriend's cold sore is gone?
Q. My boyfriend has a cold sore on his lip and it just made me wonder if we have oral sex long after it's gone (we've not had it yet and aren't planning it yet either) and we have no STI's, would it still be safe to have oral sex without forms of ...
A. 4 February 2012: FYI - Well, if simple cold sores, which is all I've ever had, an affective treatment is "Nystation and Triamcinolone Acetonide Cream." Usually works in a couple of days or less. When I feel a little tinge at the corner of my mouth, maybe once or ... (read in full...)
Would it be safe to have oral sex after my boyfriend's cold sore is gone?
Q. My boyfriend has a cold sore on his lip and it just made me wonder if we have oral sex long after it's gone (we've not had it yet and aren't planning it yet either) and we have no STI's, would it still be safe to have oral sex without forms of ...
A. 3 February 2012: As I understand it, a cold sore may be an indication of some herpes strains, but not necessarily the worst kinds, such as genital. There is plenty of information online, and there are mild forms that may do no worse than cause occasional cold sores. ... (read in full...)
More porn = less sex. What's not to get?
Q. Just wanted to put an opinion out there... I have posted questions and answers about porn, spoken to girlfriends and read endless articles about men and womens views on porn. One thing seems glaringly obvious yet so often overlooked by me...
A. 3 February 2012: Regarding your latest update: Good news, though the reported resolution may be fleeting. Porn is addictive, though you do seem to have a realistic attitude that he will likely always use it at times. Hopefully, he will be able to balance the porn ... (read in full...)
More porn = less sex. What's not to get?
Q. Just wanted to put an opinion out there... I have posted questions and answers about porn, spoken to girlfriends and read endless articles about men and womens views on porn. One thing seems glaringly obvious yet so often overlooked by me...
A. 31 January 2012: Well I tend to agree. When I was a young man coming along, pornography was rare to be found. It may have been available, but I didn't know much about it, so I sought females for stimulation. To me, a 1950s issue of Playboy Magazine was profound! My ... (read in full...)
My bisexual girlfriend wanted to have a threesome, but the way she worded it makes me feel bad!
Q. My girlfriend told me she fancied a girl we met, and suggested we hit on her together and potentially have a threesome. I said I wasn't interested at the moment, but the issue has been bothering me a lot since. The girl in question was seriously ...
A. 30 January 2012: So . . . what in the world makes you think that you can have a successful and lasting relationship with a girl who professes to be "queer," as she states? If I were you, which I am not, I would either enjoy whatever sexual episodes offered or be on ... (read in full...)
Not enough sex in this marriage
Q. I love my wife. We have a great relationship, but no were near enough sex. I personally am up for it anytime anyplace. She also complains about not enough sex, but never initiates it. How can I change these things? ...
A. 29 January 2012: In my opinion, "Latti" nailed it right on. Women prefer to be pursued, rather than being the pursuer, at least most of the time. It's simply up to the man most of the time. Get with the program that has endured thousands of years. ... (read in full...)
Not enough sex in this marriage
Q. I love my wife. We have a great relationship, but no were near enough sex. I personally am up for it anytime anyplace. She also complains about not enough sex, but never initiates it. How can I change these things? ...
A. 28 January 2012: Seems apparent that your wife wants "you" to initiate. Many (or most) women are that way, and it is typical through history that women follow the lead of their men, such as in who leads in dancing. It's like, who is expected to approach whom in a ... (read in full...)
I never orgasm during sex...
Q. Ok, I know this is a popular problem amongst women (apparently) but whenever I have sex I never orgasm. I mean I like sex enough and I want to have it, but when I hear all my friends chatting about how great it is I just think 'why doesn't it happen ...
A. 28 January 2012: The only problem I have to suggest for you is the statement, "If i'm honest i've never really orgasmed from anything a guys done to me."
Does that also mean a man giving oral stimulation? As usual, "person12345" is very astute. She is terrific. Most... (read in full...)
In a strange place with no way back so I gave him oral, and now he hasn't contacted me. How do I forget? How do I make sure this never happens again?
Q. I went through my childhood and most of my teen years being made fun of, and because of that I often feel ugly and fat and unworthy of being loved. I met a guy a few weeks ago who made me feel beautiful and he took me out for the day it was great ...
A. 27 January 2012: I'll agree that you simply must put this behind you, and that you were probably just used. But it's not at all the end of your world. Just a good lesson in life. Don't stress and move on.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend keeps teasing me about being loud in bed, and it's making me self-conscious!
Q. Hello everyone! I'd like to know if you think I'm being too sensitive about this issue or not. Every so often, my boyfriend starts teasing me about the fact I can be rather, erm, vocal in bed. I know he doesn't do it to be horrible, but he does like ...
A. 27 January 2012: In my opinion, keep doing what comes naturally. I've been with several gals who were very vocal. It was always ok with me, though it may have interested a few neighbors as well.... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend rather masturbate than have sex with me?
Q. My problem has a few layers, so I will try and explain as clearly as possible without rambling. I have been together with my boyfriend for 3 years. I am 19 and he is 26. I had sexual partners previous to him, but I was his first. He tel...
A. 25 January 2012: Well I really don't know how you could possibly cure that problem. When I was growing up in the 1950s-60s, pornography was practically non-existent. Well it was probably available, but very hard to find in Texas. I used to think the old Sears ... (read in full...)
Can a woman eventually turn into a bi-sexual after an age?
Q. Can a woman eventually turn into a bi-sexual after an age? I've been with my partner for about 15 years and she's 37 years old now. She has always told me that she has hated the idea of lesbian sex. But lately she has started tell me that she only ...
A. 25 January 2012: Anything is possible.... (read in full...)
Why would my boyfriend rather masturbate than have sex with me?
Q. My problem has a few layers, so I will try and explain as clearly as possible without rambling. I have been together with my boyfriend for 3 years. I am 19 and he is 26. I had sexual partners previous to him, but I was his first. He tel...
A. 24 January 2012: He is simply addicted to pornography.... (read in full...)
How can I relax during oral?
Q. My boyfriend loves to give me oral but I have a really hard time relaxing so that I can climax. How do I relax my body so I can reach a orgasm?...
A. 24 January 2012: Just lay back, spread and surrender. He would not go there if he did not want to please you. ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm during sex. Will this problem go away?
Q. Hi! This is sorta a personal issue, but please help me ): sorry if its tmi! I'm an 18 year old female who had sex for the first time last month. I've read and understand that some women don't orgasm the first five or six times they have in...
A. 23 January 2012: Yes it is normal that many women have better stimulation with legs closer together. This is not well understood. It is quite possible, though perhaps a bit more difficult for the guy, to have intercourse by closing your legs together. It basically ... (read in full...)
Do I give up on me orgasming so he can? My Boyfriend says I Squeeze too Much, too Early during Sex :(
Q. OK, so here's my problem. My boyfriend says I squeeze my vagina too much too early during sex. All I'm doing is involuntarily starting to have a orgasm, which happens multiple times during sex IF i'm enjoying it. But he won't let me! He tol...
A. 22 January 2012: Well, in my opinion, a woman who can control her pelvic muscles to squeeze is a blessing. It sounds like your boyfriend may be rather small in the erection if it squeezes him out, and in any case, his complaints about it are misguided. The only ... (read in full...)
Do guys like it when u kiss them all over their body and tell them that u love every inch of them
Q. do guys enjoy the sensual loving touch of woman ? do they love to cuddle, snuggle with their girlfriend and hold them close?...
A. 21 January 2012: Sounds good to me too!... (read in full...)
G spot? Where will I find it? Need to know to use vibrator effectively, thx
Q. What is the best position to hit your 'G' spot with a vibrator? ...
A. 21 January 2012: The G-Spot is typically located about three inches inside the vagina on the front vaginal wall. Men (or whomever) can usually find a slightly raised spot about the size of a nickel or quarter. It may feel a bit "rougher" than the surrounding smooth ... (read in full...)
Are there women and men that think (like me) that oral sex is not romantic ?
Q. u can`t feel the emotional connection with ur lover , i know that it feels good but not that good to me i`d rather have sex i`m talking about a loving,tender relathionship not a one night stand u can`t look in their eyes and feel the connect...
A. 20 January 2012: A few more thoughts about oral sex, but my intent is not the change the mind of the poster, "blueflower," or anyone else for whom the activity is not their cup of tea. I agree with "olderthandirt," as I have agreed with him on a few other topics, ... (read in full...)
Are there women and men that think (like me) that oral sex is not romantic ?
Q. u can`t feel the emotional connection with ur lover , i know that it feels good but not that good to me i`d rather have sex i`m talking about a loving,tender relathionship not a one night stand u can`t look in their eyes and feel the connect...
A. 19 January 2012: You wrote, "am i weird or too romantic ???"
No, you're not either. Oral sex is indeed rather naughty, but very sensual. By that, I mean that it stimulates the sexual organs to the utmost, and provides terrific orgasms, while the giver is show... (read in full...)
Ladies -- I can't reach the O!
Q. i have a big issue ladies!! i cant NOT reach the big O! it's not like i'm new to having sex either. it feels good when my guy fingers me and when i have clitoral stimulation with my vibrator but when i have sex i dont feel anything, maybe some pain ...
A. 19 January 2012: In my opinion, "person12345" is on the right track - your guy needs to focus on your clitoris - preferably with cunnilingus to begin with. Few women climax with vaginal sex alone. However, plenty of oral stimulation to the clit, followed by vaginal ... (read in full...)
How to please my boyfriend orally?
Q. I used to be good at giving oral sex, but a man I was with for a long time didn't like oral sex, and as a result of not doing it for so long, I have completely lost my touch. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about six months, and I ...
A. 19 January 2012: Speed is not at all great. As a man, I have always preferred long, loving blow jobs with lots of licking and gentle strokes until I cum inside. What can be complicated about that? Actually, I have often tried to hold back to let my woman work for ... (read in full...)
Can all women have squirting orgasms?
Q. I'm in my early 40's and my question is about squirting orgasms, which I have never had. I have had a vaginal orgasm only twice, both on my own. Most of my orgasms are clitoral and extremely satisfying. Do you think it is true that every woman...
A. 18 January 2012: The simple answer: No.
But many women can and do emit a small amount of fluid upon orgasm, which has not been fully studied, but is believed to be excretion from a gland similar to a man's testes. It is secreted through the clitoris. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not want to kiss one's wife?
Q. Is it normal to feel like I don't want to kiss my wife? It just makes me feel gross and icky like kissing a sister. Sure, we did kiss once upon a time, but after 10 years together it creeps me out. She doesn't seem to miss it either. She neve...
A. 15 January 2012: This is a very good question/observation. My first two marriages, way back in my youth, lasted only about a year each. Kissing remained very much a part of foreplay and sex. But my third marriage of about 20 years eventually became more of a ... (read in full...)
Am I just his "booty call"?
Q. I met this young guy (25y) I am 33y female....We had chemistry..started whith just kisses..with the time we ended up in sex.... I like him a lot. Is very mature and has a brillant career, is very smart and corteous. Very succesful for his age. La...
A. 13 January 2012: Well I must agree with "tennisstar88," but you say you enjoy it. Sounds like the relationship is not one that would last or deepen, but there is nothing wrong with enjoying something while it lasts, at least until it begins to sadden you. But yes, ... (read in full...)
Does being blown a kiss mean anything?
Q. I was blown a kiss today by a girl in university. We met but didn't really know one another at all a few months ago, but have been chatting a lot online lately.... we get on, but...I dunno is this meaning anything? (we had just had a brief chat an...
A. 12 January 2012: If I were you, and interested, I'd step up the relationship!... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 11 January 2012: Most guys in their teens and twenties are lousy at sex. The poor girls don't even know what they're missing until they get with an experienced man. Most young guys only care about getting their jollies, and if the girl enjoys it, then so be it. I'll ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got angry because I am too small for sex! What should I do?
Q. my vagina is too small for me to have sex. my boyfriend got angry!!! what can i do? should I make it bigger? but how?...
A. 10 January 2012: Many women have tight vaginas. It is actually a blessing, but the man has to be very patient in order to penetrate. Oral stimulation can help. Asian women are typically small to receive American men, but it can be done. The key is to be very slow at ... (read in full...)
Is my penis really that small? My wife seems to think I am lacking in that department.....
Q. I need some advice on the classic "size" question. My wife has indicated that she thinks I am lacking a bit, or not average. This bothers me. I am about 5.8 x 5.1. However, when not erect, its about 2-3. From others perspective, is th...
A. 9 January 2012: You do not mention how long you have been married, but it seems that you are more concerned about this issue than she. Must also be other things going on for you to consider ending a marriage. The size is about normal, and size rarely matters, ... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 8 January 2012: Most every guy has "fear of rejection" to some degree. The key is to not give a damn. Just learn to forget about it and move on.
Your decision to have sex with the girl, or not, is another problem, but also a possible "solution" to your virg... (read in full...)
Some questions about 'doggie style'
Q. Hello, I'm 20 and had some questions about doggy style. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I have never really wanted to pursue this position because there is not really any eye contact and feels more like a "get her done" ...
A. 7 January 2012: To answer one part of your question from a man's point of view, yes, the position might afford better stimulation of the so-called G-spot, but I think it depends upon practice and knowledge. Took me a while to learn, but the trick is all about ... (read in full...)
Do you please your partner before sex or just expect them to be ready?
Q. Some people say that men are always ready for sex and can be ready seconds if they have someone to sleep with. Now I am not saying people aren't like this but I also have a question about not so giving people when it comes to sex. What I am wand...
A. 2 January 2012: Sexual pleasure is a mutual thing, whatever it takes.... (read in full...)
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