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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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Starving for sex while husband jeks off in the next room!
Q. My husband sneaks off to masturbate. One morning I woke up and wanted a cup of coffee while I watched whatever show I had recorded the previous night. My husband had left about an hour before, while i was still asleep. I made my coffee, and in m...
A. 6 March 2012: In my opinion, eddie85 had part of it right, when writing, "Most men do masturbate -- even married ones." So do most women. But I'll agree that some folks get addicted to it, usually due to easily available porn. If the sex life between couples is ... (read in full...)
I've gone from being really wet during sex to being dry-is it an STI?
Q. Hey I know this might sound a little weird but when I use to have sex I did use to get really wet and still do when I masturbate, but latley when having sex I don't seem to get that wet? Is this normal or is there somthing wrong with me or worse ...
A. 5 March 2012: Cannot think of an STD that would cause dryness, but certainly a lack of foreplay and stimulation can do it. It would seem that if masturbation gets you wet, then you're ok, but you might consider a trip to your gyno if you are properly being given ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my friend's dad.
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay so this is kinda tricky.. i'm good friends with this girl, not like my bestie or anything but we still hang out often enough. Started getting to know her through college, been hanging around with her for about a year, we're both...
A. 4 March 2012: Well it's probably going to be complicated. I cannot condemn the sexual activity but your friend will likely find out at some point. As you say, it's legal, but you may eventually lose your friend. If the sex is good and if you prefer it over your ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a virgin and wants to have sex. Advice to make her first time special?
Q. Hi my girlfriend recently said to me that she felt she was ready to have sex. She is a virgin while I am not so I was really excited. The problem is I've never had sex with a virgin before and I am really nervous about being her first. I mean I love ...
A. 4 March 2012: Just go easy.... (read in full...)
Why would my Bf react in this very strong way when I touched his anal area?
Q. Most men like some anal activity; yes or no?? Is it wrong to insert a finger in your bf anus if you blow him? My bf almost went beserk and told me to NOT do that!!Is he scared that i might find out he had sex with another man....or is he just scar...
A. 3 March 2012: Many men are probably sensitive about their anus. However, applying a rubbing of the prostate gland during a blow job usually causes a greater release of sperm and an intensive orgasm. The prostate gland is located about three or so inches up the ... (read in full...)
Will I be able to have sex more than once the weekend I lose my virginity?
Q. Hi everyone! I am wanting to ask some general advice about first time sex. I am 21 years old and i have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months now with a man I met at univerisity. Im a virgin but hes not. basically i am going to visit ...
A. 3 March 2012: You may feel sore after first-time sex, but it depends on whether your boyfriend is really experienced and gentle. Girls are different - some take penetration easily, and some do not. If your hymen is still intact, it may be sore and bleed. ... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable because I have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend!
Q. I have always had higher sex drive than my bf and that has always been bothering me. I would be afraid that he finds me overly sexually active and feels disgusted by me. I spoke to him about this and he said he is fine with it, he isnt disgusted by ...
A. 1 March 2012: Ok, well I still don't understand why a boyfriend would not want to kiss you. I'll have to decline comment much beyond that. Sorry, but makes no sense to me. ... (read in full...)
I feel uncomfortable because I have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend!
Q. I have always had higher sex drive than my bf and that has always been bothering me. I would be afraid that he finds me overly sexually active and feels disgusted by me. I spoke to him about this and he said he is fine with it, he isnt disgusted by ...
A. 1 March 2012: It seems a little strange to me that, considering your age group, your boyfriend is not "up" for sexual activity as frequently or enthusiastically as you. There is an old adage that, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
In this case, it may mean... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend see me as a respectable girl after I give blowjobs?
Q. one time, a close friend of mine and i were discussing sex. i asked him if he was interested in a blowjob and he said if it were coming from a girl he didn't respect, then yes, he would want a bj but if it was from someone he cared about, then ...
A. 29 February 2012: I'll not say how many girlfriends favored me with oral sex over some 40-plus years, but I loved and respected every one of them, and I usually returned those favors with cunnilingus. Actually, they were always pleased first. When mutual pleasure, it ... (read in full...)
Should a married woman accept a drink from a man at a bar?
Q. Do y'all think it's OK for a married woman to accept a purchased drink from a man at a bar? My wife often goes out with her girlfriends. Sometimes they sit around a table like a bunch of hens cackling for hours - men run for the hills. But other ...
A. 29 February 2012: Well that would not be comfortable to me at all, nor would her staying in a bar after most of her friends had departed. I can understand giving her some freedom to spend time with her friends, but there should be some limit to her behavior with ... (read in full...)
Should a married woman accept a drink from a man at a bar?
Q. Do y'all think it's OK for a married woman to accept a purchased drink from a man at a bar? My wife often goes out with her girlfriends. Sometimes they sit around a table like a bunch of hens cackling for hours - men run for the hills. But other ...
A. 29 February 2012: Well that would not be comfortable to me at all, nor would her staying in a bar after most of her friends had departed. I can understand giving her some freedom to spend time with her friends, but there should be some limit to her behavior with ... (read in full...)
My relationship is boring! any advice?
Q. Been with my girlfriend for 2 years. I just told her that I found us to be boring because frankly everything has been soo plain and a routine. I told her these exact same words and she said "well what are you gonna do" in a way like if she has no ...
A. 28 February 2012: You will find that most of life becomes a routine. Finding someone you love to share the routine of life is what it's all about.... (read in full...)
Didn't want to be lead on -- was this the right way to do it?
Q. I met this guy not too long ago. He kept trying to talk to me and i kept blowing him off cuz I was busy. Finally he got my attention and we talked and exchanged numbers. we texted a lot and went out a few days later and had an AMAZING time. We ...
A. 27 February 2012: It is time for you to just wait. It's all up to him now. If he wants more time with you, he will be in touch.... (read in full...)
Would you believe a guy who had a one night stand but said he wanted a relationship with you?
Q. How come men have one night stands with some women, and decide to have relationships with other women?. What makes the women that they have relationships with different to the ones that they have one night stands with?. I don't understand it. Also, ...
A. 25 February 2012: Well, in my life, I've had a small number of one-night-stands, but most always usually unintentional on my part. One college girl, many years ago, told me in advance that she just wanted a quicky which was ok to me at the time. But I was usually ... (read in full...)
I'm too self conscious to have sex.
Q. I havent had sex with my boyfriend yet but i'm worried about making a lot of noise during sex,like moaning and screaming and shouting lol.I'm also self conscious about my body.I really want to have sex with him but i dont know how to stop feeling ...
A. 25 February 2012: Should we presume that you moan, scream and shout during masturbation? Otherwise, why would you think that you would be "vocal" during intercourse or other sexual activity? Well I understand that quite a few women are vocal during sex, but honestly, ... (read in full...)
I've never had an orgasm. I'm afraid I'll have to pee if I have one!
Q. I have never had an orgasm, I am sure of that. But from what I've read, I've been close many times. I always either stop myself (if masturbating) or my partner when I start feeling like I need to urinate because the feeling is too intense- it's not ...
A. 24 February 2012: It is a normal sensation for many women, but the feeling to urinate is false. Just go to the rest room prior to sexual activity. Then you can relax and let an orgasm happen. Masturbate in a bathtub if you are so worried about it. Just ignore that ... (read in full...)
Can sex make your boobs smaller?
Q. I just began to obsessed with my boobs lately, I want it bigger, I see a skinny person with big boobs and mine is just too small, when I was going through puberty I think it was so big and I hated it. I always think it is always getting on my wa...
A. 24 February 2012: Your body is a product of genetics, and nothing natural except exercise is likely to change it. Well, of course, you can overeat and get fat, But no, sex will not make your boobs shrink. ... (read in full...)
Are there any health risks in swallowing cum?
Q. dear cupid, are there any health risks involved with swallowing cum? please don't mention std's, because i already know that they're a risk factor, buuut i also know for a fact that the guys i've given oral sex to don't have anything. soo, o...
A. 24 February 2012: On second thought, how can you possibly know that "the guys" for whom you've provided oral satisfaction are disease free. A number of maladies, as "Tisha-1" adroitly points out, are not at all obvious. Issues may show up weeks or months later, and ... (read in full...)
Are there any health risks in swallowing cum?
Q. dear cupid, are there any health risks involved with swallowing cum? please don't mention std's, because i already know that they're a risk factor, buuut i also know for a fact that the guys i've given oral sex to don't have anything. soo, o...
A. 24 February 2012: A number of girlfriends and a wife have swallowed plenty of cum over long periods of time, but only on a strictly monogamous basis. Never a problem. You said that you are aware of possible STDs, so other than that, there should be no problem if from ... (read in full...)
I gave him oral sex on the 4th date and now he has stopped contacting me, are my fears of him never contacting me again correct?
Q. I know that getting physical too soon especially if you are just dating and the guy is not your boyfriend is not the best way to go. However, I have been on 4 dates with this guy and on the fourth date gave him oral sex. I said some stuff that may ...
A. 23 February 2012: If you gave me a nice blow job on our fourth date, I would be very fond of you. I'm not so sure that I'd consider you for a long term relationship, however, except possibly for more oral pleasure on occasion. It would depend upon many other factors: ... (read in full...)
Is this a problem? Or is it normal?
Q. so i've been reading alot of questions on here, and have only just realised i have a problem of my own. i am sexually active(safely), and everytime i have sex, if we are in missionary position or i'm on top, it feels good don't get me wrong, i...
A. 23 February 2012: Both Dear Mandy and So Very Confused are absolutely correct. Urinate before sex and then let the urge proceed, or in other words, relax and ignore the urge. It means you are about to climax. Then after, go attempt urination again. But I'll add that ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him that I slept with someone else while we were broken up
Q. Hey so my boyfriend and I had been together for not even a month when he broke up with me. He had broken up with me in the spur of the moment because my friend had gotten mad at him for not giving me the attention a long distance relationship ...
A. 23 February 2012: In my opinion, truth is always the best course, but I do not think you have to volunteer the information if not asked. That assumes that no exposure to sexual transmitted disease is involved.
You were basically "separated," and had not been seri... (read in full...)
Why does my girlfriend get the feeling of peeing during sex?
Q. My girlfriend and I like to have sex but sometimes during sex she gets the feeling like she has to pee. She usually tries to hold it back because she doesnt know if its just the "feeling" of peeing. Sometimes she gets numb and tingly when we've done ...
A. 23 February 2012: According to many women, especially those exposed to sexual activity at a young age, this feeling is common. It indicates an impending orgasm, but when a young woman resists the feeling over concern that she may pee, the resistance may or usually ... (read in full...)
Inexperienced! Hand jobs...oral...how do I do this?
Q. There is this great guy I know he's really sweet and cute.I've always liked him and I never thought he could possibly like me back.The other night our group went out to a nightclub and we got left alone together.He asked me to look at him and ...
A. 22 February 2012: Well, you could do one of those things, but it may well be the last time he spends time with you. You said that he has been with a lot of girls, which indicates that he is a "player," as we say in the States. You may prove to be just another ... (read in full...)
Ex told me my penis was too small and now I have serious confidence issues
Q. Confidence. I'm a guy with a average to small penis. I've always been fairly good in bed using what I got. When I was in the process of breaking up with a girl I was absolutely in love with she said "Well you're a guy with too small a dick" for some ...
A. 19 February 2012: Just forget about it. Move on. Start using your tongue more if not already. If desired, search for DoubleM on cunnilingus in the search feature of this Web site for some experienced advice.... (read in full...)
I had a vaginal delivery and havent had sex since. How will it feel now? Will I be loose down there?
Q. My ex bf and I broke up 16 months ago I was 8 months pregnant at the time. We recently got back together and I am kinda nervous about the whole sex thing. When we dated last we has a great sexual relationship but the last time we had sex I was well ...
A. 19 February 2012: Should not be an issue, but Kegel exercises may help tighten up. Basically, they involve practicing squeezing your pelvic muscles repeatedly, usually several times a day as "followtheblackrabbit" suggests. You can search the term "Kegel exercises" ... (read in full...)
The cleaning lady is coming on to me, how do I proceed from here?
Q. So the cleaning lady comes over every Friday to the house and i kind of have a crush on her. There are times when were home alone together and i swear i get the feeling that she wants me! She's like 45-46 im 19. She's always sparking conversation ...
A. 18 February 2012: Compliment her. Just tell her something like, "You look very nice (or pretty) to me." Or "Wow! You're in great shape too!" Let her take from that if she wants to.... (read in full...)
I'm so hurt my husband told me that I suck in bed!
Q. Im so hurt my husband has told me i suck in bed and he would rather masterbate to porn. he does it often and locks himself in the room for 2 plus hours but im lucky if we spend 30 mins having sex. im so hurt and dont know what to do. He doesnt think ...
A. 18 February 2012: Pornography is an insidious and overwhelming addiction that can ruin a marriage. While I cannot possibly condone any kind of censorship, since I totally believe in free speech and expression, porn certainly infringes normal sexual relations. What ... (read in full...)
Bf does not pay attention to my breasts...but he does look at those of other women!
Q. I have a wonderful boyfriend (we have been together for almost a year now.) Our sex life is pretty great except for one thing... I get upset because he doesn't take my top off during sex and doesn't pay attention to my boobs. I admit that i am ...
A. 16 February 2012: Well I've never really placed much emphasis on breasts, whether large or small, but guys are all different regarding such. My wives happened to be well endowed, but that was not at all my reason for marrying. Many girlfriends were smaller with perky ... (read in full...)
If I ejaculate after her menstrual cycle, can she get pregnant?
Q. if i ejaculate having unprotected sex after her menstrual cycle, will she get pregnant? ...
A. 16 February 2012: What do you mean by "after" her menstrual cycle? If within a few days, then pregnancy is fairly unlikely, as are the few days prior. Ovulation, which is the most likely time to impregnate, usually occurs about midway between the start and end of a ... (read in full...)
Is he addicted to porn? And is this the reason why we don't have sex anymore?
Q. hi this is really difficult to write about but i hope someone can give me some advice on how to deal with my bf of two years. After a long time of wondering about our sex life, I've realised that my bf is addicted to porn. We get on really wel...
A. 15 February 2012: Pornography can be an overwhelming addiction. I don't know of a cure. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend told me I act weird when I receive blow jobs
Q. My girlfriend of 6 months is 12 years younger than I am, but very much more sexually experienced than I me. I got married young and I have only been with two women in my life while she is very adventurous and loves sex. She is also blessed with bei...
A. 14 February 2012: Well, I don't squirm and squeal "and stuff," but I certainly react. I'd say my reaction at climax is to groan a bit - and possibly thrust a little. I've seen some porn where the guy squeals and makes a lot of high pitched noises, and even screams, ... (read in full...)
What is a squirting orgasm?
Q. dear cupid, this might be a really stupid question, but at least it will be short and sweet. well, actually, it's two questions. if anybody wants to have a go at answering, i would appreciate it greatly. ") 1. what exactly is a "squirting org...
A. 14 February 2012: For most women, it is a myth.... (read in full...)
Do men find it more attractive when their partner swallows ??
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for ten month and a half :) we are really happy together...we have been sexuallt active together for almost five months now and i went down on him last satyrdsy for the first time. He said he really enjoyed it ...
A. 14 February 2012: As Gabrielle so aptly says, "It's a very sexy and very accepting act which I think leads to a very satisfying sexual experience for a guy." But I reiterate, I think that oral pleasure should be a mutual experience, wherein the guy provides climatic ... (read in full...)
Do men find it more attractive when their partner swallows ??
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for ten month and a half :) we are really happy together...we have been sexuallt active together for almost five months now and i went down on him last satyrdsy for the first time. He said he really enjoyed it ...
A. 14 February 2012: Perhaps "attractive" is the wrong description. To many men, perhaps it is a show of dedication. Or perhaps love, devotion, giving, desire to please? Ultimately, it is certainly naughty, but it is not unhealthy or necessarily degrading. Or is it? W... (read in full...)
Boyfriend having a hard time staying erect.
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a couple months now. Everything is great and we have a great time together,he's very sweet and thoughtful. But there seems to be a problem in the sex department,which I have just recently found out. We were not se...
A. 13 February 2012: Never had such an issue myself, but to me, this sounds like fear. Perhaps fear of performance. Or maybe some kind of insecurity. I'm somewhat skeptical that "talking about it" will help. That may only increase possible doubt on his part. My advice ... (read in full...)
Do you know any links to good artices in DearCupid please re fellatio?
Q. I just started dating after getting out of a 15 year marriage. My ex never liked blow jobs and really zapped my confidence with his criticism so I need a step by step guide of giving a good bj. Thanks!...
A. 13 February 2012: Dear "Educatingrita," I also wrote the following a few years ago:
Okay, first of all, there is no "blowing" in a blow job, as previously suggested. Perhaps a little blowing on the tip might be interesting, but for the most part, a good blow job prim... (read in full...)
Why am I not enough for him? Why is he active again on those dating sites?
Q. Hello, I need some advice and I hope you can help me. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now. We've had our ups and downs, but for the most part (at least in my mind) it's been good. I've enjoyed spending time with him and he'...
A. 13 February 2012: It is youth. It is because there are plenty of "other" fish in the sea. It is because the grass is always greener on the other side. It is because the world is full of adventure. It is because of lust. These are things that you will better ... (read in full...)
Any tips to make sex go a little smoother?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of six months recently tried to have sex..and failed. We didn't try for very long bit he just didn't fit.inside me. I don't know if it was just bad angles or am I to.tight?? Any ideas to make it go smoother?...
A. 12 February 2012: Lubricants may help, but better to use water-based rather than oil-based, which may upset your vaginal balance. Also, patience. Simply put, if he is fairly large, which I doubt is really the issue, he should just insert very gradually. In my ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is much more casual about sex than I am. Can we make this work?
Q. My girlfriend and I are both in our 40's and we are not virgins. However, she is much more experienced (I was in a relationship for a very long time) and has a much more casual attitude about sex than I do. I am really wary about sleeping with a ...
A. 12 February 2012: You seem to be very traditional, while she seems very liberated, at least sexually. In the long run, that may indeed become a continuing problem for you, but not so much for her. While I've been very much sexually adventurous over my many years, ... (read in full...)
Do you know any links to good artices in DearCupid please re fellatio?
Q. I just started dating after getting out of a 15 year marriage. My ex never liked blow jobs and really zapped my confidence with his criticism so I need a step by step guide of giving a good bj. Thanks!...
A. 11 February 2012: Well, I wrote this in 2008. You can also search the above for additional information regarding blow jobs.
First of all, a good session of fellatio does take some time when properly orchestrated, which makes it all quite enjoyable for most men. A b... (read in full...)
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