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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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Old friend keeps blowing me off for her new friends!
Q. This isn't a relationship q, but about friendship and I would really appreciate the input. I have been best frinds with a girl since I was 12, and we are now both 26. She used to be quiet and shy, but the past couple of years she has been coming out ...
A. 23 August 2012: Sometimes in life, you have to put past relationships behind. That goes for most everything. ... (read in full...)
I need someone to help push me and motivate me!
Q. This is a weird request but here it goes. Im soo fed up of feeling and looking like crap. I have a bad case of PCOS and with that I have the side effects of being over-weight, have more hair than any woman would like and spots. Those are my ma...
A. 22 August 2012: Maybe not much help, but I lost 38 pounds by eliminating soda pop and walking a mile or more every other day. Also felt better. ... (read in full...)
Men: When you have sex, how often are you thinking of someone that you're not with?
Q. These questions are mostly for men but women can feel free to answer as well: 1. When you have sex with your gf or wife, how often do you picture another woman in your head while doing it? 2. Who are they? (friends, women you saw on the s...
A. 22 August 2012: Answer to #1: Rarely if ever. #2: Inapplicable in my case. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with other women while I'm trying to get over her?
Q. I was recently rejected by my best friend. I'm doing the best I can to get over it (mostly by trying to get with as many women as I can so I don't look totally pathetic to her), but it's hard to care about anyone else because I'm still in love with ...
A. 21 August 2012: I'll agree with "blonde30s" that sleeping around is not the answer, but getting out there again, with new women who could become longterm - well that's what you should do. You may yet hear again from that previous lover, but I learned a few things ... (read in full...)
How can I spice up my sex life?
Q. I would like to spice up our sex life but I don't know exactly how to do it its not like I can go to my mom for advise so I always see very helpful people on the site I'm willing to go to the ends of earth to make my man happy,should I buy toys or ...
A. 21 August 2012: Well I don't know about toys or creams. I've had a very active sex life without that kind of thing. I think that various positions and activities, such as including oral, and maybe massages, do a fairly good job of relaxing and enjoying sex for both ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with other women while I'm trying to get over her?
Q. I was recently rejected by my best friend. I'm doing the best I can to get over it (mostly by trying to get with as many women as I can so I don't look totally pathetic to her), but it's hard to care about anyone else because I'm still in love with ...
A. 21 August 2012: It's what you have to do if rejected. Loves will possibly come-and-go in life. You probably need to learn how to let go. Don't sit around stewing, or feeling sorry for yourself - put it behind you and move on.... (read in full...)
Young Woman attracted to a man over twice her age or just really fiendly?
Q. I'm a mid 40's guy who works in the IT sector. Most days I have been going to the same local Subway for lunch over the last 6 to 8 months. There is this young chinese girl who looks about 17 or 18 and I think is interested in me. I say "think" ...
A. 21 August 2012: Well I'm on-record here for saying that age does't matter if interests, hopes, desires and dreams are compatible. She may just be supplying friendly service to a valued customer. Asians are well known to respect those much older, especially family ... (read in full...)
Will the age difference come between us? I'm not feeling right about how this is going. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Hi readers. I met a guy a few weeks ago who works 3 weeks on 1 week off. We finished up going to bed the first night and I didn't expect to hear from him again. He has since contacted me and wants to catch up again. He asked me if I'd like to ge...
A. 20 August 2012: I'll agree with the "gut feeling" advice, but I don't think the age difference should be a primary reason to avoid a relationship. A lack of communication is much more troubling. When people are seriously interested in each other, communication is ... (read in full...)
Nervous about hooking up with older guy!
Q. Hello. I posted a rather long question a few weeks ago about how to handle a newly growing friendship with a former teacher of mine (I'm 18 and he's 31) and since then there have been developments. He's a very sweet guy, I really trust him and we...
A. 20 August 2012: Think I already said it, but age doesn't matter if there is a good relationship. Years ago, I dated a woman more than 10 years older. We had a relationship for years. In the long run, it didn't work out, but age had nothing to do with that.... (read in full...)
How can I satisfy my sextual urge without cheating on my wife?
Q. I am alone in a foreign land. My wife and family are not with me. How can I satisfy my sextual urge without cheating on my wife? ...
A. 20 August 2012: Agree that masturbation is never like the real thing, but you are married. You did not say why you are away, but life has challenges. Faithfulness to a wife, if appropriate, will be worth it. Thats assuming that you are certain of her faithfulness ... (read in full...)
Have you ever been with someone because you were lonely?
Q. I am in a bit of a dilemma. I erm end up feeling horny once in a while. I guess its a natural human urge. Earlier, i used to masturbate and feel fine...but now i feel like i want a man in my life. I feel lonely. I don't know why, but this nee...
A. 19 August 2012: Well, yes. In my case, at age 64, I've done that many times. Even recently. It is, in my opinion, so much better to be in love, get married, have a lifetime partner and all that. Hard to do these days, but not impossible.
If you can find a true and ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else ever felt this cramp in their toes at the point of orgasm? What is it? How is it fixed?
Q. This is going to sound silly, but every time I get close to orgasm, I get the worst cramp ever in my toes, which kinda spoils the moment! It's never been a problem until now....and all this week, my almost orgasms (both solo and with my BF) have ...
A. 19 August 2012: Not personally, but once had a girlfriend who had that problem. She didn't say how painful it was, but complained that her toes curled downward during orgasms. It was a long time ago, and my memory fades, but she seemed to know something about why ... (read in full...)
I've had two boyfriends but never had an orgasm
Q. Hi, i'm 21 an been having sex since I was 18. I have slept with 2 people, my ex and my current boyfriend. The problem is I have never had an orgasm. I dont know how to or what it feels like or anything, but i still really enjoy sex with my boyfrien...
A. 19 August 2012: Masturbation is not that weird, but I can understand that it's not for everyone. It does tend to teach a woman about her sexuality, however. The problem for a young man to please a woman, in my opinion, is usually due to inexperience. For most ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my Bf that two friends, one being male, plus me, shared a bed during a sleep-over, but nothing happened?
Q. So I slept in the same bed with two of my friends, one male and one female when I have a boyfriend. Nothing weird happened it was just a simple sleepover but I am worried that my boyfriend will be upset about it - even though they are both his ...
A. 18 August 2012: Honesty is always the best policy, but unless he is likely to hear about it, it may be best not to say anything. However, you say that they are also his friends, so he may be likely to hear something about that sleepover at some point. So, let me ... (read in full...)
Disillusioned with married life, and not sure where to turn.
Q. Hi Aunties and Uncles, Newbie so please be kind! Really disillusioned with married life. I've been married for almost three years and the man I met no longer exists. He has become stuck in his ways, a bit controlling, bad tempered and I ...
A. 16 August 2012: I'd like to add that some decisions are extremely hard, and I understand. My long life (age 64) has been full of hard decisions - lot's of lovers, three wives and many disappointments. But as stated, happiness must be your primary concern. If you ... (read in full...)
Disillusioned with married life, and not sure where to turn.
Q. Hi Aunties and Uncles, Newbie so please be kind! Really disillusioned with married life. I've been married for almost three years and the man I met no longer exists. He has become stuck in his ways, a bit controlling, bad tempered and I ...
A. 16 August 2012: Mention of that movie, "The Bucket List," was actually intended for a different posting. I don't know how it ended up here, and it really had nothing to do with your inquiry, but indeed, you might like it. Somewhat sad at the end, however. ... (read in full...)
My wife passed away a year ago, and I have since fallen in love with my sister-in-law. HELP !!!
Q. Hi my question is My wife passed away over 1 year ago i have no kids and I have now become very close to my sister in law she is married and her husban is always overseas From the time I spend with my sister inlaw I have falling in love wit...
A. 16 August 2012: The problem is that she is married. Should not be messed with, but that's just my opinion.... (read in full...)
Disillusioned with married life, and not sure where to turn.
Q. Hi Aunties and Uncles, Newbie so please be kind! Really disillusioned with married life. I've been married for almost three years and the man I met no longer exists. He has become stuck in his ways, a bit controlling, bad tempered and I ...
A. 16 August 2012: To the anonymous reader, "The Bucket List" is a very good movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, about what somebody might want to do before they "kick the bucket" (die). It's an age-old term, however. ... (read in full...)
Disillusioned with married life, and not sure where to turn.
Q. Hi Aunties and Uncles, Newbie so please be kind! Really disillusioned with married life. I've been married for almost three years and the man I met no longer exists. He has become stuck in his ways, a bit controlling, bad tempered and I ...
A. 16 August 2012: Eight years is a long time, but not a lifetime. Your lifetime, the only one you have on earth, is the important issue. It should be as happy as possible. You decide to walk away from unhappiness as is necessary. ... (read in full...)
I realized life is short, made a bucket list but don't have the money to do things!
Q. I don't really know how to say all this but, I'm 17 and would like a little advice. In May 2011 I almost lost my mother, she was fighting for her life and thankfully made it! In November 2011, I lost my grandad, this was a complete shock a...
A. 16 August 2012: You are certainly young to be worrying about this, but no, you will probably not ever do all you would like to do. Few of us do. But rejoice that you have so many years ahead of you - at your current age - to accomplish hundreds of dreams. We cannot ... (read in full...)
I never get the men or the jobs I want, I feel like my life is a mess.
Q. Hi aunts and uncles.. I feel so low :( I am 32 and hate how things never work out for me. I am in hell in my job and I have been looking but nothing, I had interview, thought I had job as sounded like I did and then last minute they said th...
A. 15 August 2012: You are still fairly young to be worrying so much about that.... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny men?
Q. I know everyone has different tastes and personal preferences, but in general, are women put off by skinny men? I'm 23, and while I eat like a horse, I just have never been able to put on any tangible weight, and have virtually little muscle a...
A. 15 August 2012: Well I'm a man, not a woman, but I certainly think that being a bit thin is much better than being fat. Maybe it could matter if extremely skinny. I'm much older, fairly normal-to-thin, yet even young women tell me that I look great in terms of ... (read in full...)
Should I be upset about planning an abortion?
Q. I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. I'm going to have an abortion. I don't feel guilty about it at all, in fact im actually happy about it. Shouldnt I be crying?...
A. 15 August 2012: We can't know. You may someday wonder about that child that would not exist due to the decision. Who could that have been? But I support abortion option especially if for medical reasons or rape. I think it's best to try to prevent unwanted ... (read in full...)
Never needed it before. What would be the reasons why, after all this time, I have now started to need lube to have sex?
Q. Dear cupid, I'm a 33 year old woman with a healthy sexual appetite and a boyfriend that I've been dating for a year. With my previous sexual partners I never had to use lube, I was always wet enough to have sex although I've never been so wet that...
A. 14 August 2012: As others noted, you can get dryer with aging. Let me try to explain. The biological purpose of people is to reproduce, up to a point in life. As we age, the physiological abilities of our organs can change. We are supposedly not supposed to become ... (read in full...)
How can I make going down on my boyfriend more comfortable for myself and him?
Q. Im 18 years old and my boyfriend likes when I give him a blowjob. But he's too wide to fit in my mouth. He keeps trying to push me down farther but everytime I try my teeth hits him and I choke. So what can I do to make the situation more ...
A. 14 August 2012: It's unacceptable. Not just rude but violent. I'd suggest another boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Why do men seem to prefer fellatio to intercourse?
Q. I would like to know one of two things. why do men get so much pleasure out of a blowjob and less out of sex? I also have a few fantasies. How to I communicate this to my boyfriend of five years? Will he think I'm weird if I want to try out som...
A. 14 August 2012: Because it feels extremely good and takes less effort, but not always. In regard to anal, I don't know.... (read in full...)
I am embarrassed about oral sex. Are there things I should be aware of?
Q. Hi I have a question about oral sex. I’m in a new relationship and my partner wants to give me oral sex. The problem is I feel embarrassed of him going down on me. I do want him to pleasure me but I’m worried what if he doesn’t like my scent or...
A. 13 August 2012: Well I don't know much about stubble - I'm a much older man and all experience is with women unshaved. But I've had a lot of experience with vulvas. It's not exactly your vagina that matters, although some odor can occur from there. The focus of ... (read in full...)
Sexually frustrated for the entire 36 years of marriage
Q. All I want is to be sexually satisfied. I have been married for 36 yrs and have never had sex with anyone else not ever in my life. My husband and I are very close and love one another but, he does not satisfy me in bed. For many years now I feel I...
A. 13 August 2012: It is not always easy to please a woman. In fact, it usually requires a lot of patience on the part of the man. Most men probably just want to satisfy themselves and get through with it. I do believe that men and women were meant to mate and be with ... (read in full...)
Can a woman be impregnated by precum?
Q. hello just wanted to get a few opinions on my situation...I slept with both my bf of 3 years and some other guy around the time i got pregnant. just to be clear i hooked up with the other when i was single and we didnt use a condom he also said he ...
A. 13 August 2012: Yes.... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask my husband for this one thing to make my sexual experience better for me?
Q. i'm at a point where i don't know what to do. i'm not really enjoying sex and even though i get the urge to i never really have, it's quite literally an anti climax. it's not my husbands fault, he's very ready and willing but i can't orgasm through ...
A. 11 August 2012: Penetrative intercourse alone simply does not do it for most women. The focus of stimulation for a woman is her clitoris - for a man, it's the head of the erection. A woman actually has other areas of stimulation, but most sensitivity is in the ... (read in full...)
What else could I have said or done when he was unable to perform? We'd been partying and he was drunk.
Q. I tried to hook up with this guy i've been seeing but he couldn't get it up. We'd been out partying, so it was pretty late and he was drunk. The foreplay went on for ages. I just want to know if there is anything I could do (if it happens agai...
A. 11 August 2012: Too much booze of most any kind can definitely affect the ability to have sex. It did not happen to me when younger, but aging can make it more of a problem. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't ejaculate during sex but can masturbate
Q. My boyfriend can't ejaculate when we have sex - I know it sounds weird because every other guy I've been with has come pretty quickly... and he can come when he masturbates, it's just when we have intercourse. He tells me he enjoys making love with ...
A. 11 August 2012: In my opinion, too much pornography may be involved. May be wrong, but also, his age may be starting to affect his abilities. You state your age range as 51-59 - so must presume that he is near or within that range. Age does begin to make a ... (read in full...)
How can I orgasm from penetrative sex?
Q. well me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half now and i love him and our sex life is fantastic as he is the first partner i have had that has made me orgasm in anyway, i can orgasm easily through oral sex and also when we do ...
A. 10 August 2012: I'll elaborate a bit. The clitoris is located about 1-1/2 to 2 inches above the vaginal opening. Therefore, penile penetration alone is unlikely to stimulate the clitoris very much. With some women it may, I don't know. But typically, the clitoris ... (read in full...)
How can I orgasm from penetrative sex?
Q. well me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half now and i love him and our sex life is fantastic as he is the first partner i have had that has made me orgasm in anyway, i can orgasm easily through oral sex and also when we do ...
A. 10 August 2012: Few women achieve orgasm from penetrative sex alone, as "person12345" noted. More often, in my experience as a man, the cowgirl or woman-on-top position may work. But also in my experience, I've typically had to provide oral sex in advance to ... (read in full...)
What is your personal definition of love?
Q. Recently, a few of my classmates and I have a talk with this male teacher. He is 33 this year and neither married nor dating anyone. So we asked why isnt he getting married. And he suddenly got really quiet and just said softly "what is your ...
A. 9 August 2012: Definition of love: Caring.... (read in full...)
S this a normal male perspective please?
Q. Hi, this is a question for guys mainly... I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year, and spending most of the last 6 months staying round at his house. My lease has come up on my own shared house and so I am moving into a new flat. He sa...
A. 8 August 2012: It seems a male-control perspective.... (read in full...)
Is there any way to be more attractive to men?
Q. Hello, lately ive been having problems with my looks. I feel like all my friends are becoming prettir than me. They all have become super pretty and get alot of guys and i dont. even my own best friend, people tell me im prettier than her but i dont ...
A. 8 August 2012: Being "a very confident woman' may help, but being a little shy is also sweet and attractive. I doubt that you really have any problem here, except youth. Keep being you, and do your best to look nice and the guys will come for you. ... (read in full...)
Great sex stories?
Q. Hi, just wondering, what's the best sex you have ever had? Where was it at? Who with (friend, spouse, etc)? What made it so great? Was it a special, intimate moment? Also, what was your "first time" like? I just think it's interesting hear...
A. 8 August 2012: First? A disaster. Was so surprised by the feeling inside a vagina, and did not finish. It was in the back seat of a 1954 Ford sedan late at night, and I was only age 14. We had just met, but I still remember her name.
Best sex? Been too many of t... (read in full...)
Will oral sex have prepared me for regular sex?
Q. Basically, im a 19 year old virgin and a guy. I guess in my younger teen years I had low confidence and never got round to getting a serious girlfriend or having sex. Now that im 19 I feel like im missing out and I really, really want to start ha...
A. 6 August 2012: Well, I didn't start that way - receiving oral sex first. But yes, intercourse will feel much the same, though not as intense. I'll agree with "person12345," don't worry about it. In my opinion, the "good" guy attempts to please the woman first, ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to tell her that I like her?
Q. About six months ago i met a girl in a club. We clicked instantly and had a great time together. Unfortunately she had a boyfriend, so i didnt make a move on her (that was the only thing holding me back). We still spoke to each other on and off ...
A. 6 August 2012: In my opinion, you usually don't have to tell someone that you "like" them until you are involved. ... (read in full...)
Is it enough to want a divorce because my husband won't be intimate with me?
Q. Is it enough to want a divorce because my husband won't be intimate with me? It has been this way throughout our 25 years of marriage. He is a wonderful man and every one loves him, my friends, family, our two 20 something children. He would do ...
A. 6 August 2012: That is a very difficult decision, I must agree. But some degree of intimacy is part of life, and we only have one life on earth. The lack of sexual satisfaction may not improve in years to come, unless your husband changes his ways. Some consulting ... (read in full...)
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