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... Send *oubleM a private message | | | *oubleM's profile:DoubleM currently resides in Fort Worth Texas, but has lived in southern California (Hollywood), Hawaii, Europe and North Africa as well as Texas. Attended the University of Texas. Now single (possibly forever) after three marriages, one of 20 years. Mainly tries to help with sexual issues. Views and opinions are very permissive and suggestions are often brief and to the point. |
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When should two people start having sex in a relationship?
Q. Hey all, simple question. So I have been broken up with my ex for over a year now and I'm reflecting back on past mistakes. I'm wondering maybe one of the mistakes was that we had sex too early. We talked about sex maybe 3 weeks into our ...
A. 16 September 2011: Whenever the time is right, and when comfortable with it in every way. ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but my girlfriend has been with 10 men already - and shown me a video of herself and an ex
Q. me and my gf have been togehter for 6 months...she is my first gf whereas i'm her 11th bf...she has told me that shes been sexually active with all the 10 guys..i have had no past sexual experience...last week on my insistence she told me all about ...
A. 14 September 2011: I'd try to make sure the door doesn't smack me in the butt as I leave, right after one final blow job.... (read in full...)
My husband is very particular about how he likes oral, is this normal?
Q. Hello, I have written in before and gotten excellent advice. My last posting was about a week ago about my mom objecting to the way my husband and I treat each other. We have three kids (biological), 8, 5, and 2, and have the adoption of an 1...
A. 14 September 2011: Well I suppose it's a little picky and smacks of sameness, as I've always enjoyed a variety of situations, positions, settings and places for receiving bjs. Still, if it works for both of you . . . ... (read in full...)
Sex addiction, does it exist?
Q. Does anyone really believe in sex addiction? Ive always been one to say people use the word addiction to make things look a little better and a little less their fault...But all my life ive always been fond of sex, ALOT. Its almost as if i cant say ...
A. 11 September 2011: You claim that you are in the age group 18 to 21. Well addiction to sex may indeed exist, but in my youthful years (and many since), it would seem that most everyone was somewhat addicted to sex if with the right partner. On the other hand, I knew ... (read in full...)
Help!!! What are the pros and cons of having anal sex???
Q. My boyfriend wants me to try anal sex. I am very open to something like this. However I want to know the pros and cons of anal sex? It's a simple and short question, and help would be much appreciated....
A. 11 September 2011: You can talk with your doctor about it - and should likely suspect to hear about long-term conditions such as internal and external hemorrhoids, diverticulitis, cancer, colon tearing, loose bowel syndrome (life-long leakage) and a number of other ... (read in full...)
Seems like I am the last virgin in my college. Have so many questions on virginity and sex. Can you help?
Q. Right well im 17 years old and im still a virgin, i feel like im the only one which in my college there is only a few. Ive had so many oppurtunities to have sex but something keeps stopping me. Im just so scared i dont like my body and i dont real...
A. 10 September 2011: By all means, save your love for someone who truly cares about you. Then it will not matter if you are a bit overweight or whatever, his love will be about you. In the meantime, masturbation can provide adequate satisfaction and relief for raging ... (read in full...)
I do not want to fake an orgasm and I wish he lasted longer than he does. What else can I do to make it better?
Q. My bf cums after about 5 mins. I do not cum during sex [never been able to] so I would enjoy sex for a bit longer as that's where my pleasure comes from, not an orgasm. We have sex most days, but it does not make him last any longer. I would rath...
A. 10 September 2011: Your boyfriend needs to understand something very simple and universal: It is that women require more time (than men) to become aroused and reach orgasm. Few young men, perhaps even older men, understand this or really know what to do about it. ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity to a cucumber??
Q. I am a 19 yr old girl who has always prided myself on the idea of being a virgin when I got married. I got super horny tonight, though, and used a cucumber. I didnt notice until afterwards that I had bled. Does this mean I have lost my virginity? Or ...
A. 9 September 2011: Interesting question. You possibly penetrated your hymen if indeed you was previously virgin, but loss of virginity only occurs when penetrated vaginally by a man's penis. Females often experience hymen breakage via a number of activities or ... (read in full...)
Is being a slut the way to mend a broken heart???
Q. Hi again Aunt/ uncle agonies. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read. I am going through an awful breakup, and all i wanna do is move on. I've been getting advice from all my friend on how to achieve this, but for some odd reason every sug...
A. 9 September 2011: No.... (read in full...)
How do I relax more? How do I let my guard down and let my inhibitions go?
Q. Hi: I'm 28, in a great relationship where we have worked out our issues. I own a few businesses, am very busy, often stressed and it's hard for me to relax and I dont sleep well. How do I relax more? How do I let my guard down and let my inhibitions ...
A. 9 September 2011: Perhaps a more romantic mood, but also a challenge when you are truly stressed. Your lover must be a charm at providing a comfortable and very satisfying sexual experience, which may be challenging for a young man as well. My solution for decades, ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to say "I love you"?
Q. Okay, so recently (about a month)I started dating this girl. She was my first girlfriend I did ANYTHING with, I even lost my virginity to her...Is it too soon to say "I love you" or am I just caught up in post sex lust? ...
A. 5 September 2011: Yep, too soon. You might consider saying something like, "You know what? You're really beginning to 'grow' on me, but we'll have to see what the future holds." That may seem a bit old fashioned, so you can adapt. But unless she was also virgin prior ... (read in full...)
Why is dating a middle aged man so hard?
Q. Why is dating a middle aged man so hard? He's 43 and I'm 30. He doesn't call much but when he does, its a 2 hour chat. He calls only once or twice a week. When we go out, its an all day outing. I've told him we can hang out for only a couple of ...
A. 2 September 2011: Based on your posting, this sounds a bit unusual to me - but some guys (and gals) can be different. That can be a good thing, but may also be suspicious. ... (read in full...)
Are there any happy couples out there who don't have oral sex?
Q. I was just wondering if it is possible to have a happy and satisfying relationship without oral sex. So many people on this web site are complaining about their partner who refuses to go down on them. Are there people who are satisfied with their ...
A. 30 August 2011: Your question: "Wondering if it is possible to have a happy and satisfying relationship without oral sex."
Sure, why not? Many of my generation and earlier considered oral sex to be nasty, but it's been practiced for thousands of years. It is simp... (read in full...)
Squirting--I don't know what it is or how to do it
Q. I'm not sure this is the right place to ask this question but I'm desperate for an answer. My boyfriend keeps asking me if I've ever 'squirted' during an orgasm....he says he really wants me too but I don't know what this means or how to do it, any ...
A. 29 August 2011: Only a small percentage of women ever do this, it is very messy if you can, and it is totally unnecessary to enjoying a female orgasm. ... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of this guy?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for over 2 and half years and when I say seeing thats a big joke. He basically comes around just for sex. I have told him and told him that this is not what I want and I want to be respected and spend time with him socially...
A. 27 August 2011: You must end this nightmare. Do not answer the door if him. Do you not have Caller ID on your telephone? If so, use it and do not answer. Refuse any additional activity. Notify local police of safety concerns. Have a "restraining order" issued if ... (read in full...)
My breast are too big, and they cause me problems in my daily life..
Q. Hi, I'm 19 yrs. old my height is 174 - that would be about 5'9 - My problem is my big breast on a small frame upper body. About 2 yrs ago they were the perfect size which to me was good because my breast are fully round starting from the armpit and ...
A. 25 August 2011: Indeed, do not "ruin what nature gave" you. You are very young, so see what happens in the future. If uncomfortable, "birdynumnums" offered good advice. ... (read in full...)
How can I make sex less painful?
Q. Ok ..so..my new gf and I have had sex several times..she has a very small vagina..I'm an average size fellow..6 to 7 inches somewhere in there..it hurts her a lot..not the girth but the length..is there anything I do ...I would like to not have to ...
A. 24 August 2011: More patience. Insert very slowly and just a bit at a time. Be sure that she is thoroughly turned-on and therefore lubricated (wet). This usually requires plenty of foreplay, which may include cunnilingus (licking her vulva and more). Generally ... (read in full...)
Whenever we have sex I cry and want to be alone. What's wrong with me?
Q. Okay I need advice. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. We work together and when we met I had a boyfriend. I was living with my ex and he cheated on me. My boyfriend now was there for me and after a few months we started dating. He is an ...
A. 22 August 2011: Well I'm not the best relationship advisor, but have known of similar situations. I think it is often a sign that a sexual relationship is a bit too early. You might want to re-evaluate the relationship and take a break for awhile. You are very ... (read in full...)
A woman with a high status position,is it a turn off for blokes?
Q. because I run my own business i cannot seem to find a man that wants me,or is it because i have a child?...
A. 21 August 2011: It would not be a problem in Texas, but I do not know about Great Britain. ... (read in full...)
Is your life over once you have a child? I am so scared
Q. I just found out I am pregnant, the baby wasn't planned but I did have unprotected sex stupidly. I am engaged and in a commited relationship so it's not like I will be alone. My fiance so excited about it. > Im so scared to think thats it now...
A. 20 August 2011: Your life is NOT over, of course, but will be different and probably enriched in many ways. ... (read in full...)
Woman on top - a position that arises many questions for me. Please help!
Q. This is probably the most embarassing question ever posted here: I am ashamed of using the position woman on top because I have very few experience(only had 1 partner and we only tried several others) and, most importantly because although I have a ...
A. 19 August 2011: There is simply no reason I can think of to be ashamed or embarrassed while "riding" in the woman-on-top position. If your boobs flop a bit, a good male lover would just grab them and massage your nipples while you enjoy. It's also possible for the ... (read in full...)
Do women really like the direct approach my friend says he takes?
Q. I have recently discovered a very secret side to a good colleague and friend of mine. He’s a few years older than me at 35, not particularly good looking I would think, not really rich either. Just a regular guy (like me!). I knew for quite some ...
A. 19 August 2011: Indeed this works, but in my experience, perhaps not quite as brashly as you described. When the fairly direct approach worked for me, and still does on occasion, I'll invest more than just a few minutes in conversation before eventually asking ... (read in full...)
I don't get hit on! Is it because I'm a redhead?
Q. Hi guy, just a question thats been troubling me for sometime now. I hardly get hit on by the opposite sex. I was wondering if its to do with the fact that im a redhead and have a lot of small freckles on my face and body?. After seeing comments...
A. 18 August 2011: Personality and a smile trumps a million freckles and auburn trusses. Having once married a redhead, I cannot agree that "a lot" of men are not attracted to redheads per se - just work on being a bit more approachable.... (read in full...)
Is it bad that my boyfriend holds the back of my head during sex?
Q. Is it bad that my bf holds the back of my head during sex ?.he does it gently,and usually does that when i'm on top of him.sometimes he has held my head when i have given him oral too.he also holds my hand during sex sometimes too....
A. 17 August 2011: While that is something that I've never done with a partner, I suppose it is ok if not forceful.... (read in full...)
Cum smells like urine all the time
Q. Every single time i do cum, squirt, or whatever you want to call it liquid comes out everytime whether its a stream to just a tiny bit but anyway it happens everytime and everytime it smells like urine and i have read lots of posts and i'm just ...
A. 17 August 2011: To "anonymous female:" Be assured that I do not mind being disagreed with, but I wonder what part you disagree with. I said, "the vast majority of females simply do NOT squirt!" And you said, "we are some of the chosen few who have this ability." ... (read in full...)
How much sex is healthy?
Q. I love my gf very much. We have imo a great sex life. At least 5-7 times a week if not more. On occasion and especially in the morning i just am not up for it. Usually a few hours pass and im ready. She gets very upset at this behavior. Intense ...
A. 16 August 2011: Seems a bit obsessive to me indeed, and I can understand not always being "up for it" in the morning. I'm much older, but with some similar experience in my younger years. My solution with a few girlfriends was to offer my erection for oral ... (read in full...)
Cum smells like urine all the time
Q. Every single time i do cum, squirt, or whatever you want to call it liquid comes out everytime whether its a stream to just a tiny bit but anyway it happens everytime and everytime it smells like urine and i have read lots of posts and i'm just ...
A. 16 August 2011: It's difficult to understand where all this hullabaloo about "squirting" originates, but the truth is that few women ever do that even during orgasm. In many cases it IS simply urine, and in some instances women may leak a small amount of fluid that ... (read in full...)
I never want to date a guy but the thought of oral turns me on. What does that make me?
Q. I find myself always very flirty with women and always easily turned on by them, however i've noticed that i always find the thought of naked men arousing as well, and also gay porn turns me on, but also lesbian porn turns me on, i'm confused, does ...
A. 16 August 2011: Hm, not sure. You say the "thought of oral turns me on," but who gives and who receives? ... (read in full...)
I don't mind him ejaculating on me, but I'd rather not be peed on
Q. Me and my boy friend like to do alternative things in the bedroom. We act out some porn scenes that seem interesting. The one that he wants to try, I'm not into much. He wants to ejaculate on my face, then urinate on me. I can handle him cumming on ...
A. 14 August 2011: Do not allow what you do not want done. Draw the line. Period.... (read in full...)
I'd really like him to try oral
Q. I don't know if I am wrong to ask this but I am dieing to have my boyfriend eat me out but he is not to sure about doing it but I really want him to try it. I want him to be comfortable and just try a new thing with me how can I help ease him into ...
A. 13 August 2011: Well I suppose that some fellas are just not prone to be oral. About 40 years ago, I myself was a little reluctant, but "going down" on a woman soon became a favorite activity. I think it's kind of an acquired taste, you might say. But if your guy ... (read in full...)
Will my penis still grow at 19?
Q. This is a pretty embarrassing question but can my penis still grow at 19? I just turned 19 and my penis is exactly 5 inches. I know that is somewhat average, but it just feels really small to me. I've read a lot of studies and statistics and MOST ...
A. 12 August 2011: It is enough. Don't worry about such, but do practice what you can do with your fingers and especially your tongue. ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my addiction to sex?
Q. I am 19 years old and I have come to the realization that I am a sex addict... I dont want my family or friends to know but I want to get help and I dont have money or Insurance to get a psychiatrist... I was hoping any of you could tell me what I ...
A. 11 August 2011: Just another comment or two from the old man . . . who was once as young and horny as any. I'm surprised that you seem to be unaware of other youngsters your age, around your community, who may feel the same. Indeed, it's totally normal to be horny ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my addiction to sex?
Q. I am 19 years old and I have come to the realization that I am a sex addict... I dont want my family or friends to know but I want to get help and I dont have money or Insurance to get a psychiatrist... I was hoping any of you could tell me what I ...
A. 11 August 2011: Just another comment or two from the old man . . . who was once as young and horny as any. I'm surprised that you seem to be unaware of other youngsters your age, around your community, who may feel the same. Indeed, it's totally normal to be horny ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my addiction to sex?
Q. I am 19 years old and I have come to the realization that I am a sex addict... I dont want my family or friends to know but I want to get help and I dont have money or Insurance to get a psychiatrist... I was hoping any of you could tell me what I ...
A. 11 August 2011: Well I'm a much older man who cannot offer a solution, but will say that I've known young women who seemed likewise addicted. Perhaps I was addicted, as well, in my youth. At about your age, I would say that a healthy drive for sex is really not ... (read in full...)
Trouble reaching orgasm.....
Q. I am an otherwise healthy male who has no trouble getting or maintaining erections. However, my problem is that it takes me a long time to orgasm and when I finally do it doesn't feel quite as great as it used to and the quantity of semen produced...
A. 10 August 2011: While I agree that a visit to your doctor is in order, to ensure no physical or medical impediments, it is probably time for you to come to grips with your suspected issue: getting older. Although I'm now 63, I began to notice definite changes ... (read in full...)
Can I pass on herpes from a cold sore?
Q. I suffer a lot from coldsores, and I've recently learned that coldsores are caused by a strain of the herpes virus. If I have sex, is there any chance of me passing herpes onto my partner? ...
A. 9 August 2011: Essentially, I think "idoneitagain" provided very good information here. Indeed, cold sores are one form of herpes (of several), but not the worst kind. Even the
painful affliction of "shingles" is one form of herpes, as I understand, that resu... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn't know how to relax her muscles to squirt!
Q. so, i need help with getting my girlfriend to orgasm...her vagina gets tight but she wont squirt,she says that she really thinks its pee.. but i told her its not but she says she scared to let it goo! also her body tenses up nd she doesnt know how ...
A. 7 August 2011: You two first need a lot of education about sex, of which you are sorely lacking. Orgasms and squirting are not synonymous, and very few women ever squirt more than a little ooze (in some cases) that usually goes unnoticed. And relaxing the PC ... (read in full...)
Our sex life is suffering due to my fatigue? any ideas?
Q. So, my fiance and I have been together for nearly 7 years. The sex has been great and I love him more than ever, but we have started having issues. I am a full-time college student, and he just graduated and is trying very hard to find a good job, ...
A. 4 August 2011: A visit to a doctor may be advisable - specifically for a blood test. You may be somewhat anemic, which is frequent for young women in some situations. A multivitamin might help, but if anemia is a culprit, multis may not include iron. Be careful ... (read in full...)
Is it a turn off to have sex on your period?
Q. Hey, know this is a weird question but if u have sex with a boy when your on your period is it a turn off ? ...
A. 4 August 2011: Well, I was always kind of a "clean" freak, so blood on my pecker after was kind of gross - but has depended on the girl and situation. Some told me in advance, some didn't and some offered a bj instead, which was often better. As I aged, it did not ... (read in full...)
Am I just insecure? Will it make a difference if I lose weight? I want to attract a G/f.
Q. I'm really not crazy about the way I look and I'm trying to find a girlfriend. I've never had one before nor even kissed a girl. I feel that something is stopping me. I'm a nice guy, and outgoing, the problem is that I am very insecure when it come...
A. 1 August 2011: Dude! Seems to me that a hefty percentage of females in America are quite overweight. Look around! Even young ones are going hefty. So, why worry? ... (read in full...)
Should I just have sex with him since I may never see him again?
Q. He is 29 and I am 30. I fell in love with him for the past one month and I thought he was too, but now I am not sure if he feels love or lust for me.He wanted animalistic sex(no kiss, doggy style) and I refused. I deliberately but not openly avoided ...
A. 31 July 2011: You go girl! There is a good man in your future if you seek truth and love.... (read in full...)
Should I just have sex with him since I may never see him again?
Q. He is 29 and I am 30. I fell in love with him for the past one month and I thought he was too, but now I am not sure if he feels love or lust for me.He wanted animalistic sex(no kiss, doggy style) and I refused. I deliberately but not openly avoided ...
A. 27 July 2011: No, there is no way to make this guy appreciate you more than just being a virgin conquest, and you will be deflowered by a jackass.... (read in full...)
Should I just have sex with him since I may never see him again?
Q. He is 29 and I am 30. I fell in love with him for the past one month and I thought he was too, but now I am not sure if he feels love or lust for me.He wanted animalistic sex(no kiss, doggy style) and I refused. I deliberately but not openly avoided ...
A. 26 July 2011: Well I cannot say that lust is never to be fulfilled, as such was the case often in my life - and in the lives of the women involved. Seems a case of just do it, but since it would allegedly be the loss of your virginity, I find that a sad premise. ... (read in full...)
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