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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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I'm annoyed about his contradictory comments about not wanting children but not using birth control with his exes!
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for three months and in general we get on well. But one thing that keeps cropping up is his exes. The other evening the subject of children were brought up (he hasn't got any). He told me that he had not used ...
A. 16 August 2017: He's just really irresponsible and careless. You should take the initiative to make sure that the two of you are protected since he doesn't really seem to care. ... (read in full...)
He's a sweet person except when he's turned on!
Q. Dear Cupid(s), I am very confused. At the beginning of the year I met a guy and things seemed to be going really well. Both of us were virgins, and when we finally had sex it felt like that became all our entire relationship was about. I started...
A. 16 August 2017: It seems to me that the two of you are sexually incompatible.
I doubt that he'll change his bed room habits so the question is; what are you going to do?
Going back to an ex isn't always the wisest decision to make and I say that because not... (read in full...)
My best friend's boyfriend tells me he loves me.
Q. So my best friend's boyfriend likes me and her and I like him as well. I feel horrible for liking him even though I liked him before they started going out. He says we should just wait even though he keeps telling me he loves me. I don't know what ...
A. 15 August 2017: It is absolutely wrong what the two of you have been doing behind your friends back.
Firstly, you and him should not be alone to even have time to profess your feelings for each other.
Secondly, you should not be crushing on your friends boy... (read in full...)
I cant break up with her because she threatens self harm.
Q. Hi, So I've been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years total now with some time in between here and there. I've been on the fence about breaking up with her for the entirety of this summer but I haven't been able to act on it because she is s...
A. 15 August 2017: I say, get her to go to therapy and get onto some medication if possible.
You could do as suggested and wait until she is more stable with therapy and medication to leave or you can get everything started and have an intervention for her with her... (read in full...)
Any advice on reconciliation?
Q. Hello, my ex' and I have been chatting for the last couple months again and getting closer. We talk to each other all day and even make time to spend with each other a couple days a week. I'm taking her to lunch tomorrow and am going to ask to ...
A. 15 August 2017: It seems like the two of you are already on the right track to reconciling.
We don't know the details of what went wrong so our advice will be very limited.
As Fatherly Advice mentioned, you will have to work hard on rebuilding trust... (read in full...)
I'm OK with just sex. Should that be a problem?
Q. Commitment issues with no commitment? I met this great guy, neither of us are looking for a long-term commitment and we have great chemistry and amazing sex and we have had open talks about it not being a serious thing. BUT he seems to always freak ...
A. 15 August 2017: I think maybe he is trying to convince himself that he's on the same page as you when he really isn't hence the time to 'pull back'. He's trying to prevent himself from falling further into what he thinks he already has fallen into some feelings ... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend being friendly with a guy that won't leave her alone?
Q. Hey guys just want to know your veiws on my situation. Right my partner works in a pub at night everytime she goes to work she has this one bloke who wont leave her alone always saying how nice her arse is and that he will get her he has even seen a ...
A. 3 August 2017: Giving out personal information like that is NEVER ok. Honestly it's never ok. I think that your gf is getting a bit too close to this guy because if she didn't like the attention and she was creeped out, surely she wouldn't have given him you guys' ... (read in full...)
Can you hurt yourself using a dildo with no lube?
Q. Can you hurt yourself by using a dildo without Lube and going way too hard at yourself? I believe I may have rip something in my vagina from using a rubber dildo without the lube, I was going pretty hard for a couple days like that, once a day until ...
A. 3 August 2017: OP, You very well could have seriously injured yourself by being too rough with the sex toy.
You need to realise that the vagina is a very sensitive area on our bodies and we need to handle it with care, with that being said; whenever you inse... (read in full...)
Implant removed, unprotected sex equals pregnancy?
Q. Hi I removed my implant on 15 June then had unprotected sex 3rd July. I had my first period on 16 July for about a week and now I feel like I'm getting my period again. My breast are so painful and I feel bloated. Is t possible I could be pregnant? ...
A. 2 August 2017: Never have unprotected sex unless you're actually trying to fall pregnant.
Seek some medical advice from a professional about the situation and do it immediately.
As previously mentioned, go and buy a pregnancy test and see what happens.
... (read in full...)
Would he have given his number if he wasnt really interested
Q. Im hopeless in the world of dating . Im on a dating site and the guy im chatting with is legit hes very open and hasnt held back with anything hes show me videos of where he works and facebook details , He asked if i was free we could meet for ...
A. 2 August 2017: He wouldn't give his number if he wasn't interested.
Stop psyching yourself out and just get a move on with the situation. The longer you wait, the more paranoid you will become so go for that coffee or whatever the case may be and just see how ... (read in full...)
Do I ask him or a date or wait for him to ask me
Q. im chatting with a man online. On his profile he said hes in no rush and wants to get to know a person well. we have exchanged details ( phone numbers , social media, not addresses) we have been chatting for 6 week but he hasnt asked me out . He is ...
A. 2 August 2017: I say, ask him out and see what he says.
The worst he can say is no... or some variation of it at least.
Good luck. ... (read in full...)
Do men ever regret dumping a good woman?
Q. Want to ask the other women on this site,I treated my ex great I thought, I did every thing to try to make him happy,its been over a year now, do you think he ever thinks of me. Do men ever regret dumping a good woman, oh he ghost me, never got a ...
A. 2 August 2017: They do only if they've had a realisation. At least that's what my guy friends tell me.
If he still has the same attitude and feelings towards you that he always did then no he won't regret dumping you.
If he never realises how good you are... (read in full...)
He helps me financially but I'm the one who always initiates our conversations. Is he at all interested in me?
Q. So I have this friend that iv had for a while now. We've actually just met once and hooked up and then he went off overseas for a job. Well, we stayed in contact and have talked on and off. I just had a son and have gone through a tough tim...
A. 2 August 2017: Give the guy a break OP. Don't keep leaving him text message after text message. Give him some space and see how it goes.
Perhaps he's not where he though he would be or things haven't worked out like he thought that they would by now you know... (read in full...)
Is this guy online serious?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a good 6 months now. We met through Snapchat. He has been the one initiating conversation majority of the time and he has admitted to liking me and caring about me. He said he wants to get to know me a bit more on a ...
A. 2 August 2017: We don't know whether he is serious or not BUT do you really want to be in a long distance relationship if he is?
I mean, coming from a long distance relationship myself... It's really really really tough. Especially if you do not have the fina... (read in full...)
Did I prove a point in this office situation?
Q. I've heard that women hate it when men don't look at them or pay them any attention, and liking the guy or being in a relationship already is irrelevant. I had an attractive young woman always looking at me in the office a work. I deliberately...
A. 2 August 2017: I think that it's best to keep things formal at work and it's always a good idea not to start anything in the office so yes, correct thing to do. ... (read in full...)
Why wasn't the fact that he was married and a baby on the way enough to stop him from cheating?
Q. I just found out that my husband cheated on me. Him and I are "newlyweds" we married in may 2017 and his affair happened from February to early May 2017. He is in the army and he used to be based only 3 hours away from our hometown. He would visit ...
A. 2 August 2017: OP, it's really an unfortunate situation.
It's better that you found out now rather than later so that you can make an informed decision on what to do next.
I hope that it all goes well with you and your child.
Good luck dear.... (read in full...)
I pushed him away because I wanted him closer to me.
Q. So 3 weeks ago I kind of pushed my boyfriend away and told him I don't wanna be with him but what I was really trying to do is making him understand my mental illness, suffering from GAD and BPD, I tried to tell him maybe through my ery wrong way of ...
A. 1 August 2017: Say what you mean and mean what you say!
Saying something like that and expecting someone not to take it literally is foolish and you shouldn't have done that because guess what? He took it quite literally.
In future, avoid getting yourself... (read in full...)
I've told him how I feel but he says I am overthinking!
Q. Hello, I have been seeing a guy since April. I met him at university but now I have finished, I have moved back home, meaning we live 2 hours away from each other. I also went travelling for two months after seeing him for 2 months. We still...
A. 1 August 2017: OP, I would leave this guy alone regarding this issue. He's probably telling you what you want to hear with no intention on acting on it any time soon.
My advice: slow down a little. You decide how long you want to wait for him to make up his m... (read in full...)
I can't learn to trust men
Q. Why can I not trust men? How can I go about this? I have been going to therapy for a while and my psychiatrist point blank said and it seem like a light bulb hit- "you haven't trusted anyone since josh" - josh was my verbally abusive bf of five ...
A. 1 August 2017: Op you say that you want to believe in love, but guess what, you already do. It's just that your views on love have been tainted by your experiences. If you didn't believe in love, you would've never went back out there on the dating scene after ... (read in full...)
Why wasn't the fact that he was married and a baby on the way enough to stop him from cheating?
Q. I just found out that my husband cheated on me. Him and I are "newlyweds" we married in may 2017 and his affair happened from February to early May 2017. He is in the army and he used to be based only 3 hours away from our hometown. He would visit ...
A. 1 August 2017: You know OP, I really do feel for you in this situation.
We all cannot wrap our heads around why he would choose to cheat on you and propose to you while feeling absolutely nothing about what he'd done and continue to do until you found out.
... (read in full...)
My husband is always looking for an excuse to drink
Q. hi, my husband is always looking for an excuse to drink when ever he gets back from work. He said drinking makes him relaxed I decided him to pick wine instead of beer. Because he already got beer belly coming out. Do you think this is the right ...
A. 28 July 2017: He is an alcoholic and he needs help. The minute that drinking alcohol starts getting you into trouble and you can't leave it alone, you have a really serious problem.
I suggest that maybe you try to get him to attend some AA meetings which he... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend accept his team leader's offer of money?
Q. My boyfriend started his job about seven months ago and his team leader at work fancys him a bit but knows about me, however she's offered to give him 50 quid towards a pair of trainers, now to ms I feel he shouldn't except this offer because she ...
A. 28 July 2017: No he should not accept it. Bottom-line. ... (read in full...)
Aunt found our messages. Am I in trouble?
Q. So i am in love with my first cousin. Me and him have been together for 3 months. His mom and my mom are sisters and no one knows that we love each other. Yesterday his mom read messages that we wrote and she basically knows that we have a thing. I ...
A. 28 July 2017: Hi darling.
It's a tough situation you're in but someone I know was in a similar situation to you, although she's older BUT I will give you the same advice that I gave her.
Yes, your aunt will probably inform your parents but no you should no... (read in full...)
Some advice please on my first date
Q. I'm going on a first date soon with a boy I really like. We went to elementary school together and recently reconnected on a dating app. I haven't ever been in a long-term relationship, and all the dates I've gone on in the past few years were ...
A. 28 July 2017: You're psyching yourself out OP.
Just be yourself. Treat him like any other human-being that you are getting to know.
Don't worry about kisses and such because if the date feels right and has moments that feel right then you will react in th... (read in full...)
Is what we are doing right?
Q. Hello everyone actually I'm quite curious to tell about my relation as I'm dating a guy and it's been just 1 mth that we have been in a relation and he always likes licking my boobs and he always like to put his hand n rub in my private part i a...
A. 28 July 2017: OP, if you don't feel right about it (since you're here asking about it I feel that you don't) then it isn't right. It's too soon for you to be getting intimate with this guy (it's only been a month AND it makes you uncomfortable) and my guess is ... (read in full...)
He makes faces when I talk about men I have dated. Is he jealous?
Q. If I mention the names of men who I admire or have dated, my co-worker always makes this scrunched up face like he smelled a nasty poopie. I don't constantly talk about other guys. Does this mean he is jealous? He also stares at me when he thinks ...
A. 28 July 2017: He is your colleague... and... he's probably thinking "Gosh woman, I get it!"
Perhaps it's best to just keep things at work formal and keep conversation friendly, not friendly enough to spill the beans on your entire personal life though because ... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend might be in touch with her ex but I am afraid to bring it up
Q. i have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now, Trust is something that is always earned, and unfortunately she has lied to me a few times, so i really have a difficult time sometimes when situations don't feel right or i get the feeling shes ...
A. 28 July 2017: Talk to her.
There's nothing that we can go off of that will allow us to show you to which extent she is keeping secrets... we just don't know.
It's about time that you try to communicate to her how you're feeling.
If it isn't your inse... (read in full...)
Did I accidentally lead my controlling ex boyfriend on?
Q. Currently I have an amazing bf who I've been dating for a short while. Before I started dating him, I dated another guy for a short while who turned out to be a total control freak. When I 1st met him, the feeling of being wanted felt very good. ...
A. 28 July 2017: I'd say, move on OP.
If you're happy now then the past shouldn't matter.... (read in full...)
Tired of my freinds' boasting about their conquests
Q. My friends are all in relationships, all very serious, one just got engaged. I'm happy for all of them, really I am, but here's the thing, the last time I had any sort of relationship was when I was 15, and I clearly wasn't enough for him because he ...
A. 28 July 2017: OP, you need to realise that if your friends cannot understand how hurt you are, that maybe they just aren't worth being around.
Don't ever start questioning yourself, trying to figure out what is wrong with you because there's nothing wrong wi... (read in full...)
He seemed to ask a lot of questions about my income!
Q. Dear Cupid; I'm in my 50's and unfortunately back in the dating world after my husband passed away years ago. I recently went on a meet and greet and the man asked me what year my car was, if I owned or rented, how big was my house. H...
A. 26 July 2017: He deserved nothing from you because he is still a stranger. It's quite rude of him to want to know stuff like that right off the bat.
To me, this has 'red flag' written all over it.
You should probably just let this one go. ... (read in full...)
Do you know why he's not taking the initiative to contact me? What should I do?
Q. I'm working overseas and have been here for a little over a month. The first few weeks my boyfriend and I were emailing each other and everything was fine. He was frustrated that it took me almost a month to get my phone connected to be able to call ...
A. 26 July 2017: He seems like a child throwing a tantrum.
Honestly OP, he seems very petty. If he can get mad at you for texting at times that are not convenient for him then he needs to sit down and figure out whether he wants to be in a relationship with you... (read in full...)
How to untangle this 'nightmare'?
Q. I've been married for almost a year now and I feel like I'm trapped in a nightmare. When something goes wrong, he never wants to sit down and talk about things. He becomes angry and defensive which leads us to nowhere. When I suggest solutions, he ...
A. 25 July 2017: The two of you do not seem compatible.
I agree with the other aunts that say that you may need a mediator although that does not always work. Why? because he will feel attacked and blindsided by it (trust me, I've tried it before). Especial... (read in full...)
How to untangle this 'nightmare'?
Q. I've been married for almost a year now and I feel like I'm trapped in a nightmare. When something goes wrong, he never wants to sit down and talk about things. He becomes angry and defensive which leads us to nowhere. When I suggest solutions, he ...
A. 25 July 2017: The two of you do not seem compatible.
I agree with the other aunts that say that you may need a mediator although that does not always work. Why? because he will feel attacked and blindsided by it (trust me, I've tried it before). Especial... (read in full...)
We split up 5 years ago but I still have feelings for him
Q. Hi I split up with a ex 5 years ago I know it's a long time ago but the problem is I still have feelings for him and I don't know why the relationship was very intense we fell in love straight away but he suddenly started treating me horribly I ...
A. 25 July 2017: OP, your ex is your ex for a reason. You're only still in love with him because you haven't allowed yourself to move on.
You've got to realise that he done something despicable to you. Something that you need help getting over. You need to revis... (read in full...)
Married woman flirts with me on and off. Why?
Q. So there's this female that I noticed when I started taking the train to work a little over a year ago. At the very beginning I noticed that she kept looking my way, even if I haven't looked at her I noticed through peripherals her glance. Anyway ...
A. 24 July 2017: I think that she's being friendly.
It may not be that common to spark up a conversation with a stranger where you're from but where I'm from, we do stuff like that all the time. Myself included, I find people very easy to talk to so wherever... (read in full...)
Is this woman trying to break up our marriage? She claims my husband cheated with her
Q. My husband and i have been married for 8 years with 3 Kids and pregnant at the moment. I have never caught him cheating. But my Brother exgirlfriend told my Brother that she went out my husband and they had sex. Then my husband gave her money. When ...
A. 24 July 2017: It sounds a bit much but then again, hey who knows. Even the most far fetched things can be true sometimes.
I'm not trying to scare you by the way.
This woman though, does sound like she's the home-wrecking type because if it's got you and... (read in full...)
I'm too afraid to get hurt again after an unexpected breakup
Q. It's been a bit over 2 months since I had an unexpected break-up that left me kind of shaken. I've progressed well in most respects,but I'm still stuck on the fear of dating again. Back story: I thought I did EVERYTHING right with this last o...
A. 24 July 2017: Hi OP.
Firstly, you need to understand that you've been hurt and that will not take just two months to heal which means that you being out there in the dating world is far too soon. Your wounds are still fresh and they will take some time to heal ... (read in full...)
How do I address these problems? Has anyone out there dated a partner with children, while having no children themselves?
Q. I need some advice. I met a divorced woman with 2 beautiful kids over a year ago, and we first started meeting only for sex, but somehow, we have developed a very strong friendship and I think we are both very fond and loving of each other. Ou...
A. 24 July 2017: You probably shouldn't have been around her kids regardless of whether or not the relationship is defined because the kids don't know that. Unless the two of you sat them down and explained that you guys are not together and just 'vibing'. You ... (read in full...)
Why do men think its alright to comment on a woman's nether regions?
Q. This is probably more of a rant than anything, but what is up with some men thinking it's ok to comment on the look of a woman's vagina/vulva?! Whether it's not neat enough, 'beef curtains', too hairy, it 'looks loose'... the list goes on! My m...
A. 24 July 2017: Anyone who can make you feel as though something is wrong with you when you're perfectly happy with yourself needs to get lost!
It's rude and insensitive commenting on someone's genitalia. I find it utterly disrespectful.
Guaranteed if... (read in full...)
Not enough 'me' time in seven year relationship
Q. My fiancé and I have been on and off for seven years. I love him to the moon and back. we have lots in common and I enjoy doing almost everything with him, yet sometimes I need some...my time...and he gets really upset/angry even. He texts me ...
A. 24 July 2017: He sounds very controlling and manipulative. I had an ex like him and as soon as those signs started to show, I was out of there!
He has no self control but he wants to control what you do?! Does he even really care about you if he can go out and ... (read in full...)
Was he just being an ex, and was he using me?
Q. Hi thanks for reading guys I need advice. On wed me and my ex spend the night together, we went for a meal a few drinks and was best night we ever had, he was so loving told me he can't imagine his life without me. Was incredible met some of his ...
A. 24 July 2017: My advice is do not message him again. It's not your job to do the chasing and you will make yourself feel awful for it.
He will contact you when he feels the need to contact you but until then, you shouldn't worry about it.
Do not stress... (read in full...)
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