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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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This married man is only interested when his family are out of town
Q. Hello here, the thing is I met this married guy around august 2015,though he didn't tell me he was married until almost a month and then I was already in love with him I don't know why but I remember all I could say to him was know problem and don't ...
A. 6 October 2017: Firstly, he is married and married people are off limits.
Secondly, any man that can so actively try to cheat on his wife is no good (character wise) in my book.
Look OP, you've been strung along because you've allowed yourself to be. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he wouldn't call me names again, but is this method still not acceptable?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year, and in some cases it has been hard for me, having come from a emotional abusive relationship before hand, my insecurities are all over the place, and occasionally find it very hard to trust. But ...
A. 6 October 2017: OP, I think you're making this sound far too 'normal' than it actually is and you come off as making excuses for him.
There is NEVER any excuse to call your SO a hurtful and derogatory name. It's never right. I don't care if his father was a sa... (read in full...)
Should I take my online friend's comments with a grain of salt?
Q. Hello everyone, I have been spending some time on social media and I have quite a few male friends as well as female friends. There is one guy in particular who I like as a friend but it's hard to ignore the fact that he is extremely good looking, ...
A. 6 October 2017: I agree with the other aunts when they say to just enjoy the flirting and what not but please just don't take it to your head.
Think about it, if he could so easily send you a nude without any thought, there must be so many other females that he'... (read in full...)
He's bragged about cheating on me behind my back but denies it when I confront him!
Q. Have been told by strangers, friends and family that my boyfriend of twenty years has bragged about cheating on me every chance he gets when he's working out of town. He actually butt dialed me during one of his bragging sessions to a friend and I ...
A. 3 October 2017: If I were you, I'd believe what I hear because if you've accidentally heard it from the horses mouth and still choose not to believe it then I'm sorry but you're doing yourself a huge disservice. ... (read in full...)
I constantly feel jealous about his exes!
Q. Any advice on how to get past jealousy. My boyfriend has clearly had other girlfriends as we have been together only a few months. Yesterday he said about going to Italy and when I asked who with and he said his ex girlfriend from 8 years ago I feel ...
A. 3 October 2017: Stop asking about his exes. Just stop. You're doing this to yourself because you're digging for information and then you get upset when he is honest. If you really don't want to know then don't ask. ... (read in full...)
How else do I show my long distance cheating girlfriend that I love her?
Q. I am in a complicated relationship with my girlfriend. We both have a distance between us which has affected our relationship . I found out a few weeks ago that she had been sleeping with her ex gf which made me very upset. She opplpgised to me and ...
A. 29 September 2017: I agree with the other aunts. She's the one not be trusted because she's the one that proved herself by cheating. She seems extremely insecure and immature to be honest.
When exes get involved it should tell you something; that they really h... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this planned weekend getaway? I've decided I don't trust him!
Q. Hi i was seeing soneone 2 yrs ago and he started seeing someone else. He denied it and lied left right and centre then he got her pregnant. During all this time he hasnt let go of me. I told him i was not prepared to be a bit on rhe side. Now they ...
A. 29 September 2017: I say, tell him that you no longer wish to go on this weekend away with him.
If you're having bad feelings about this guy then you should trust them. We don't just get bad vibes off someone for no reason at all. ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this planned weekend getaway? I've decided I don't trust him!
Q. Hi i was seeing soneone 2 yrs ago and he started seeing someone else. He denied it and lied left right and centre then he got her pregnant. During all this time he hasnt let go of me. I told him i was not prepared to be a bit on rhe side. Now they ...
A. 29 September 2017: I say, tell him that you no longer wish to go on this weekend away with him.
If you're having bad feelings about this guy then you should trust them. We don't just get bad vibes off someone for no reason at all. ... (read in full...)
Should I stand firm or offer reconcilliation?
Q. Hello aunts, My question here is simple. I fought with my wife last night. The reason was that she started complaining and saying she wishes she didn't have to pay rent (we pay half-and-half currently) so that then she could buy more things. ...
A. 29 September 2017: I see that both of you are very hard headed but I can understand both sides of the argument.
From her side, she's saying that you aren't spontaneous enough in your spending and this in turn makes sure that she isn't allowed to splurge on certain ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I argue constantly but I love him.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 2 and a half years. Things were great in the beginning but more recently we seem to argue about everything. Things are lovely when we're getting on but we seem to argue most days and he goes silent and will ...
A. 29 September 2017: I totally understand where you're coming from. I've had a relationship in the past that was the same as yours in terms of arguing and let me tell you; you will get to the point where staying won't even be on your mind because you will be so tired ... (read in full...)
I am exhausted and my boyfriend is no help.
Q. I know I'm right but someone please knock some sense into me. I'm in a relationship, we don't live together but I spend a lot of time at his house. Work everyday and come home to him sitting on the couch everyday watching tv and has done nothing ...
A. 29 September 2017: OP you need to realize that this man is grown. Even though he acts like a needy spoiled brat, he is a grown man who should be left to make his own decisions.
Quite frankly, I think that you're trying too hard with him and that's why you're e... (read in full...)
We want different things in life ... should I just let it go?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years now. I’m 20 and he’s 22 so we’re still pretty young and we don’t plan on getting married or having kids any time soon. Especially since we’ve only been together for 2 years. But we have com...
A. 29 September 2017: I think that it will be a waste of your time staying with him when not having those things was drilled into his head since infancy.
Usually the goal in relationships is to work towards something - to have a direction yet he seems like he just wan... (read in full...)
He is married and will not stop contacting me for sex
Q. I dated this guy that stringed me along for 7 months - through therapy and maturity I realized it was my fault for "wanting to prove him wrong" when he said "I'm afraid of commitment" - I don't want anything serious- him being a ghost for a month ...
A. 28 September 2017: If you're so bothered by being messaged by this guy then just block him and never speak of him again. Simple. Unless there's a part of you actually thinking of entertaining this married man?!... (read in full...)
My past won’t go away, should I talk to him?
Q. Hey aunts! Quick advice please! I post a few years ago asking well venting about my situation. When I was 22 I got pregnant by this guy I was dating and I thought the best decision for me was to have an abortion. At the time the guy ag...
A. 28 September 2017: I wouldn't advise that you get rid of all social media because of him. What about your life?
Do not even talk to this guy again because it will just upset you further. I think that his conscience has been haunting him and he is trying to clear it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother came over and rearranged our bedroom, I can't find anything!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now and we live together. He is 22 and I’m 20. Let me start off by saying, I think family is super important and I would never want to come between my boyfriend and his family. But it bothers ...
A. 28 September 2017: What she has done is so disrepectful and it's an invasion of privacy (I mean to sort through your underwear... really?!).
With that being said, I think that it's time for you to talk to her directly about it since her son seems like he just tur... (read in full...)
Long distance boyfriend is asking for naked pictures, should I trust him?
Q. Hi there friends...I really need your advice.. I have a long distance relationship and know for a year.we don't meet yet and we both christian born again... and I dont want this guy to entertain but he was keep in contact with me even if j don't....
A. 28 September 2017: Honetly OP, never send naked pictures to people that you don't know. In fact, you shouldn't even be dating this guy that you haven't ever met. For all you know he could be some weirdo sitting behind a laptop screen, preying on vulnerable females ... (read in full...)
If she wasn't interested why did she bother to text me?
Q. Hello, Before I start I am a gay girl, 24 years old. So I went on a night out on Friday with a group of people, and got very drunk. We all ended hooking up with someone (everyone else is straight) and we went out until about 6am. The girl...
A. 28 September 2017: Firstly, I think that this isn't something that meant a lot to her as it seems to mean to you.
Usually when someone has a good night with somebody else, you will talk about it and arrange for a 'next time' but it doesn't seem like she's keen. Ei... (read in full...)
Why am I stuck with the girl that doesn't want to give but wants me to do all the work?
Q. I been in relationship for 4 years. She was virgin before we met. I have high sex drive , she doesn’t. I tried to accommodate this by doing stuff in shower and not bothering her. Sometimes I ask her to go down, and she won’t put in effort, when she...
A. 28 September 2017: Don't make it sound like a cheap hookup by putting a price on the situation... c'mon man.
You hardly do anything for her and women are turned on by romance most of the time. If you do the bare minimum then why should she go all the way? It doesn... (read in full...)
I am so madly jealous! How can I overcome this?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for 4 months now, we work together. Me and this girl (both 23 years old) started working at this job at the same time. Obviously every male co worker wanted to hang out with us, since we were new and they all flirted ...
A. 28 September 2017: Firstly, if you don't trust him enough to chill over this, you should not be with him. Next, if he hasn't shown that he respects you enough to be respectful of your wishes, you should not be with him.
Look, you're jealous because you're Very and... (read in full...)
Fiances mother is refusing to come to our wedding unless we change our plans
Q. firstly, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm having problems with my fiancées mother. Backstory: me and him met in school, at15, we've been together ever since. We got engaged may 2016 in Fiji we had originally planned a two wee...
A. 28 September 2017: I think that since it's you and your fiance's day that it should be up to the two of you where you have your wedding and who the two of you invite.
The thing is if you give her your finger then guess what? In future she will take your entire h... (read in full...)
Can smells and tastes affect a perfect blissful courtship?
Q. Im blessed with a beautiful and very loving, caring partner who im sure would do anything for me and I would for her as well. So when I have this seemingly silly problem, I do not know how to overcome. Her odors. She uses deo but it wears off either ...
A. 27 September 2017: You can keep some mouth wash nearby and the both of you could take a sip of some before your morning activities.
As for her deo wearing off after a long day... That's what usually happens unless you have God's constant favour upon your underarm... (read in full...)
Hard to love a man's children like my own.
Q. I've been dating a man for 7 months. I have no children, he has 2 daughters ages 9 and 7. He doesn't see them very often (once a week) on the weekends. I have spent almost every weekend with him and when he gets them. They are great kids don't get ...
A. 27 September 2017: Dear, if you want kids and he doesn't then that is the biggest problem here because the two of you want different things.
Are you now just supposed to conform to what he wants? I think not. How about you let him go and try to find a man that wan... (read in full...)
He says he loves me but I feel jealous of the way he treated another woman he liked
Q. My boyfriend lost his job last year and since I have been with him he has been trying to secure work. I'm not with him for money at all and love him for who he is. By his own admittance he had a good job and he liked a particular woman, she didn't ...
A. 27 September 2017: I get why you're feeling a bit neglected and un-cared for.
He just seems to be taking it a bit too easy when it comes to you. Maybe he's past the honeymoon phase and into the comfortable and lazy phase where stuff slips his mind? but that's s... (read in full...)
Our 'friends with benefits' situation seems to be going fine, but she showed one strange sign?
Q. Me and my friend tried having sex twice. We talked about the possibility of it happening for ages and it seems to be working out. A lot of people are skeptical about a FWB type thing but it feels right for us. There has been no awkwardness between ...
A. 27 September 2017: She may not have deeper feelings for you. Maybe she just likes being held because it makes the situation more comfortable. It shouldn't mean anything else in my book... but... if it's really killing you then just ask her. No harm done. ... (read in full...)
Its been over with my boyfriend, I'm pregnant by someone else but I'm afraid if I end things he will try and kill himself
Q. I've been trying to end my relationship for the last 8 months without feeling a massive amount of guilt. The situation I'm in has became incredibly messy and I just feel very broken by what has happened over this passed year. I've been with...
A. 27 September 2017: OP, he is manipulating you into staying with him.
Now that you've found someone that makes you happy, I suggest that you move on and be happy for your pregnancy with your new love. It's not healthy for you to be worrying about whether or not he w... (read in full...)
Is it normal for sex to slow down in long term relationships?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years we were friends with benefits prior to this for 2 years. In the beginning sex was great and frequent and lately has gone to maybe only once a week and has caused some problems in our relationship. ...
A. 27 September 2017: More often than not, yes it is normal.
Her excuses seem legit because work can take a lot out of a person and when it's finally 'we' time or 'me' time then you hardly have the energy to even do anything anyway.
I say, try to get her to relax... (read in full...)
I went along with planning for a big wedding. Now I don't want it!
Q. Hi I'm getting marrried in a few months and having some serious regrets about the way we've gone about things. We're having quite a fancy wedding with around 100 guests. I thought at the start that a big wedding was what i wanted but now I'm havi...
A. 27 September 2017: If you've already sent out invitations then you cannot tell people that you've changed your mind.
It should have been really thoroughly thought through in the beginning, that's partially what the engagement period is for; to figure out exactly ... (read in full...)
Tough love or does my dad mean it when he says it?
Q. I have a job which I'm not enjoying and parents who flip out at me, I suffer with depression and find that when I'm backed into a corner, I lose my anger and have to defend myself, ive been in trouble with the law, had partners who have cheated on ...
A. 27 September 2017: First off let me say that I understand what you're going through from all angles. Not the breaking the law part but I get you.
My advice is stop acting out because of your depression and all that you've been through and are going through.... (read in full...)
Should I reach out again or just move on?
Q. There's a girl I started talking to in July, at the moment nothing is going on but I feel like that may be my fault. However I'm also feeling like I should move on but I'd like to know if theres anything I can do to start talking to her again ...
A. 26 September 2017: I feel like it's perhaps time to move on. Not just because of her message but because it seems like she doesn't like you like that.
I think she's actually impolite to not actually tell you outright that she isn't interested but to just ignore y... (read in full...)
My parents don't know about my relationship till I am 18. A parents advice would be nice
Q. I am currently 16 and live in Victoria Australia and my boyfriend is 20 from punjabi india.All aspects of our relationship is legal We have been together for just under a year and my parents don't know i plan on telling them when i am 18 but his ...
A. 26 September 2017: Dear Op,
I don't think that being in this type of a situation is very wise at your age.
The fact that you and this guy and not to mention his parents, are already discussing marriage and what not just seems a bit odd and something in my ... (read in full...)
He's rejected me but is open to having sex. I'm upset but tempted to, since I'll be bored and alone in his city.
Q. I apologize in advance...this is a long one! I met a guy on Tinder back in March of this year. I was going to be in San Francisco for a few days and wanted to meet people while there so I changed my location to SF and started talking to him. ...
A. 22 September 2017: Dear, now is the time to show that you have some self respect. Don't settle for being treated like garbage when you know that you deserve much more. Have a backbone and stick to your guns. ... (read in full...)
She's asked me for advice-Can I be honest and tell her she's in a bad relationship?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I need some advice on should I say what I think or... be polite and lie. I have 2 cousins who are like sisters to me. One of them is having problems with her papers. She's been living in a foreign country for the past 7 y...
A. 22 September 2017: Don't ever lie when someone, especially someone you really love asks you for advice about a situation that you don't quite like.
She needs to hear the truth and she needs to hear your opinion. Whether she welcomes it or not is a whole other is... (read in full...)
I had an affair with my ex husband's cousin and don't know what to do with the feelings I have
Q. I am married, my husband is my best friend and I really don't deserve him. This is my second marriage to the same man, we married,divorced cos he left me for someone else and we were both very young first time anyway. We got back together and were...
A. 22 September 2017: A four year affair takes a lot... a lot of lying and a lot of commitment to those lies.
The fact that you're pining after your husband's cousin, whom dumped you by the way, makes me squirm. It's like you still haven't gained any knowledge from sai... (read in full...)
I want more, he leads me on but in the end wants just sex. It's he just a player?
Q. Hello! I have been friends with this guy since sophomore year of college and I graduated last year. He's 25 so yeah we are still young, but I feel like we have a good vibe going with one another. We used to hang out and talk about everything and ...
A. 22 September 2017: Basically this guy has just told you that all he wants you for is a lay from time to time but he doesn't regard you as girlfriend material. I don't know if there's any other way that he can let you know that he doesn't want a soppy romance with you. ... (read in full...)
I didn't bleed so is my hymen still intact after having sex lots of times?
Q. hello, well my problem is i had sexual intercourse several times but i did not bleed in any of them, so i'm wondering is it possible that my hymen is still intact??...
A. 22 September 2017: The Hymen does exist.
Not everyone bleeds when they break their hymen so don't worry about it. You're normal.
As long as you're practicing safe sex, looking after yourself and are able to feel comfortable during the act, that's all that ... (read in full...)
Need help/ideas/advice I have a controlling guy friend... He is a friend forreal.
Q. I have a contolling guy friend...i mean controlling in ways that i dont believe are healthy at all... Prob the worst hardest controlling techniques ever... And yes to me very odd and differant because he is my friend... in that sense i feel its ...
A. 22 September 2017: This doesn't sound healthy in the least.
If I were you, I'd be straight up and honest with him... Hurt feelings and all; he needs to know the truth about his behaviour.
If that doesn't help, you may have to end the friendship with him which i... (read in full...)
What is going on? Are these just excuses?
Q. After still feeling neglected, I told my bf exactly why I was feeling down. In the last couple of weeks I have noticed that I was initiating the messages, which is ok, but I feel like I'm pestering esp being the only one initiating Messaging was ...
A. 22 September 2017: I agree with everything that honeypie has said.
It's time for you to stop doing the chasing and be chased. Let your man take some initiative for once and romance you.
Maybe his excuses aren't excuses and they really are true. Who knows. Maybe... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual past has become a sticking point for me
Q. OK this might be a bit long winded but here we go. So I have been happilyish married for nearly ten years now. I met my wife in 2003 while on my OE in London and we got together and started dating and then eventually the "how many people have you ...
A. 22 September 2017: Op, you knew about her past before you asked her to marry you so I find it a bit odd that its now such a huge problem for you.
Let's bring you back to reality:
The two of you have two little kids so you have to get over her past. How do you d... (read in full...)
I desperately want to reconcile with my ex husband. He had sex with me after he had broken up with his girlfriend but hasn't contacted me since
Q. This is a long story and I apologize but I really need some advice from some neutral parties here. I am wanting to reconcile with my ex-husband. We were married for 4 years. He was and still is the love of my life but he left me for another ...
A. 22 September 2017: Op, it seems to me as if he's playing at something.
We can analyze all of the information that we're given and it just looks really suspicious.
Firstly, when he was married to you he left you for another woman which shows where his mind w... (read in full...)
How do I curb his frantic sex?
Q. I currently started dating this new guy and everything is going great only problem is that he is insatiable. We have only been on two dates and we have spent both nights together however the first night we just made out and I spent the night th...
A. 17 August 2017: OP, he cannot respect you enough to make no mean no and you are not firm enough in setting those boundaries.
Honestly, I think that the two of you moved too quick and that's part of the problem. It's too soon for you to be staying over at his i... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed about his contradictory comments about not wanting children but not using birth control with his exes!
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for three months and in general we get on well. But one thing that keeps cropping up is his exes. The other evening the subject of children were brought up (he hasn't got any). He told me that he had not used ...
A. 16 August 2017: He's just really irresponsible and careless. You should take the initiative to make sure that the two of you are protected since he doesn't really seem to care. ... (read in full...)
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