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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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.is this normal for couples after being together for 8 years?
Q. My girlfriend and I split up 9 months ago but remained friends. Our friendship was a little odd, we had sex a couple of times at the beginning, we still held hands, cuddled but didn't spend as much time together. We would then go a period of ...
A. 6 October 2019: There is a reason why the two of you broke up, surely. I think that she still bears this in mind and is cognisant of the fact. It actually more often than you think. Your relationship is what was familiar, it was safe, she knows you, you know her, ... (read in full...)
Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Hello, sorry for the essay in advance! So I am engaged to a man I have been with for 2 years. For context sake he is 12 years my senior, hasn't had a girlfriend in 10 yrs, is known to his friends being laid back and kind, and his father was not v...
A. 6 October 2019: As someone who has had my fair share of ill health and emotional issues, I can tell you that this situation that you've described is in fact, very toxic and abusive. It can creep up on you and when you try to take a stand or express your ... (read in full...)
How do I handle my frustration over my friendship with my ex?
Q. My partner and I were together for 6 years we aren't together anymore but remain close friends and still very much in one another's lives. When we were together she let me down a lot, she would lie, she cheated once, she would disappoint me as she ...
A. 6 October 2019: The solution seems to be simple as stated by her previously "that's me, take it or leave it". She had no loyalties towards you as your partner and she certainly doesn't have any towards you now. There is a huge part of you that still wants her to ... (read in full...)
I have a huge crush on the perfect girl but we're both in relationships. Should I still get her number in case we break up with our partners in the future?
Q. Im in a class with a girl, who when I first saw her thought she was pretty but didnt think much of it. As Ive got to know her a little better over the semester and she is so smart! Probably the most intelligent in the class. She honestly seems so ...
A. 20 May 2018: Honestly, you've fallen for a girl that you think is perfect (and you're right, everyone has something that is undesirable) and you think that it's okay to grab this girls number in case things don't work out with your current partner... good god... ... (read in full...)
I don't think this party girl is girlfriend material. Should I break up?
Q. I'm 32 years old my girlfriend is22. We're dating for four months and I still have doubts about her if she is gf material to me. Bottom line is she's a party girl, to me a girl who likes to party and drink and have sex with a lot of dudes is not ...
A. 20 May 2018: You seem very immature for your age and I'll tell you why:
In a world where women have fought for equal rights to live as men have been since the beginning of time, you CANNOT have a misogynist and sexist point of view. In today's world it's poss... (read in full...)
Why do guys I meet (and like) only like to flirt and never do anything?
Q. Why do guys I meet (and like) only like to flirt and never do anything? I have an unusual job, we do fieldwork and one expedition can last for several months, so we get to know each other well and spend time together. They are all very open...
A. 20 May 2018: I'm against co-workers dating. It's just a recipe for disaster.
I agree that you need to try dating guys outside of work based on your own personal standards and if you don't have the time then perhaps now isn't the right time to be dating b... (read in full...)
He broke up with my but regrets it 1.5 years later. I still love him, but what is the right thing to do?
Q. My ex and I are high school sweethearts and each other’s first love. We had been together for a decade and the last 4 years were long distance. I thought he was the guy I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with;unfortunately he ...
A. 20 May 2018: It's sad that he is pursuing you while you're in a relationship where you feel loved and appreciated. I feel that it's within your best interest to steer clear. In fact, I wonder why you're still in contact with him, actually.
I always tell peo... (read in full...)
Please help to explain to my sister that I am not a monster for looking at porn!
Q. I need the help of the people of DearCupid here. I have been trying to explain to my sister that all guys look at porn one way or another but she wouldn't listen and thinks I am a monster for looking at images of naked women. I have been a role ...
A. 20 May 2018: Porn is a very controversial topic of discussion and you will get varying replies here so just understand that.
Firstly, it was a huge mistake for you to leave your laptop open so carelessly around your little sister because it seems as though s... (read in full...)
Does he have a disorder or is he just a liar?
Q. Hello i have a question, i have been dating this guy for 3 months but am confused about his character.The first time met him, he told he was born Jan 30th, the next time i asked he said 20th feb 1979 i asked to see his Id it was 1th Jan 1978. Last ...
A. 20 May 2018: This guy definitely sounds like he has issues, and either way; he isn't for you to fix. My advice is that you do a Matrix move and dodge this bullet because this looks like a situation that you should not get yourself into. Honestly.... (read in full...)
I don’t feel a spark with her but I still had sex with her!
Q. Me and this girl broke up a while ago, after about a month she came over to play some video games and chat. It was getting real late and she was getting tired so I offered her to stay the night. During that we began cuddling and making out and it ...
A. 20 May 2018: Firstly, you should not have slept with her knowing how she felt because this only makes things harder for her.
It's normal to feel that someone is what you want (on paper) but not what you need (no spark). Personally I've been through that and... (read in full...)
How much of an issue is porn while getting into a serious relationship/marriage?
Q. How much of an issue is porn while getting into a serious relationship/marriage? I don't know if I'm addicted but I watch it everyday. I am currently single and I've noticed that I watch it even when I'm with someone. Do women take offence to their...
A. 18 May 2018: Whether or not it will be an issue will depend on the woman that you're with but let's zone in on this for a second:
You tend to sometimes enjoy porn more than an actual intimate relationship with others...that's a problem. That's where your porn... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says it’s time for me to give him my virginity!
Q. My boyfriend tell me it's time to give your virginity I cannot wait it's has been 10 months we are together I know he is my boyfriend and has the right but am scared of my parent if one day know about it ?? my boyfriend don't have a good job my ...
A. 10 May 2018: Just because he is your boyfriend, does not mean that he owns you or has a right to take your virginity.
He seems like he really just wants to sleep with you and let me tell you; you aren't ready so don't do it. If he keeps pressuring you then... (read in full...)
He love-bombed me but now has cut ties! Should I hold out hope?
Q. I have recently started seeing a guy, who suffers with depression, which ive supported as much as i can. Our relationship has been moving very quickly and he recently dropped the love bomb, involved me deeply with his friends and family but He has ...
A. 10 May 2018: Depression is really intense. It affected his thought processing and he thought that he loved you until he realised that he need not be with you and that he wants other things. This is a waste of your time.
In my opinion, he should stay complete... (read in full...)
Anyone else developed a conscience when they were about to start a FWB with a married person?
Q. Ok so I have been single over 6 years, I like being single, I have no one to answer too. But it's been a long time intimately just over 2 years! So I'm on a dating site, not looking for a quick bunk up but maybe friendship or fwb. I met this bloke ...
A. 10 May 2018: Stick to what your conscience is telling you and do not pursue this. It will involve an unaware and innocent 3rd party outsider/insider (the wife) and has the potential to ruin lives. Do not let your own needs and desires become a tool used to ... (read in full...)
He’s taken to sleeping on the sofa! How do I approach this?
Q. Hi I’ve been with my partner for 5 years our relationship has always been good we rarely argue but just lately he has taken to sleeping on the sofa it started out cos our daughter was poorly with a virus so I put her in bed with me so I could look ...
A. 10 May 2018: Statistically, partners who sleep separately have better and healthier relationships. Provided that the intimacy and romance is still within the relationship of course. If this is the case, don't worry. Some people just sleep better alone (myself ... (read in full...)
What would a woman feel if a man cried during marriage proposal?
Q. Dear Aunts, after almost 10 years in a relationship with my girlfriend, I proposed to her this past weekend. I did not planed to cry or anything, but as soon as I was asking her to be my wife, y started crying and I couldn't stop. I really felt bad ...
A. 10 May 2018: Personally I find it sweet, flattering, romantic and basically every other good word in the dictionary. I'm a hopeless romantic and I find a guy who shows emotion, really attractive and in tune with himself. It's amazing.
I hope that things w... (read in full...)
Will my boyfriend come back to me?
Q. So my boyfriend well ex dumped me around two weeks ago out of the blue and of course i broke the no contact rule and texted him like five days after but it's been a week since we last communicated, But he left due to stress and his life being a mess ...
A. 10 May 2018: This seems permanent. Sorry.
It's best to just break contact COMPLETELY and focus on more important things because you're at a crucial age.
You're young and there will be plenty of time later on to date and experience relationships. D... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm tired of being a mistress and I'm tired of the whole situation
Q. Hi, Aunts! I've been involved in a relationship with a married man since the last two years which developed on the very basis of his lies towards me. In the beginning, he kept me telling that he was single until I found out a few months later (I'...
A. 10 May 2018: You've definitely made the right choice.
You should get rid of his number, block him off everything that you currently have him on and move on. Oh and; mean it this time. ... (read in full...)
Was I doing to right thing to cut him off? Was I being not "open-minded"?
Q. I recently stopped being friends with a guy (let's called him C) for several reasons. I knew him for 5 years. He said we are friends but every time we see each other, we end up making our or sleeping with each other. I told him I don't do friends...
A. 10 May 2018: It's not about being open-minded. The fact of the matter is that you definitely will be hurting other people if you continue with this and it's good of you to acknowledge that; it shows that you have a conscience and know right from wrong after all. ... (read in full...)
I thought we were friends but he blocked me.
Q. I had met this guy 2 years ago. He came up to me at school and asked me if I wanted to study the bible. He was with a group of friends. So I Said yes.at that time he was our campus minister for the young adults In out church. And for the longest ...
A. 2 May 2018: Social Media is a whole other ball game. I could speculate as to why he blocked you and such but ask yourself, why does it hurt so much?
I don't really care what happens on social media and you shouldn't too... that stuff will drive you crazy if... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is now messaging my friend
Q. Dated my ex boyfriend for 6 months, and we admittedly rushed into things which was probably where we went wrong. We’ve been split up about a month now and he’s messaging my friend, but the girl herself hasn’t told me, one of our friends has. I’m...
A. 2 May 2018: Firstly, your friend who hasn't told you; isn't much of a friend so be careful who you let into your inner circle. This is a girl code issue.
Next, I think that you should leave the two of them to go and live happily ever after; don't let this... (read in full...)
A choice between Craig and Tom
Q. I’ve been with Craig for over three years and I do love him, although I’ve never been sure he’s the one. He’s a great support among many other great attributes, however he has no drive and never will, he’s lazy, he doesn’t dress properly for work ...
A. 2 May 2018: You already knew that you need to break up with Craig when you wrote this... didn't you?
Look, if Craig was the one, you wouldn't have fallen for Tom. It's that simple. Do what makes you happy and since Craig isn't who makes you happy, let him ... (read in full...)
Break up - No contact method or turn up at his house to get him back?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for 4 months and officially been his girlfriend for 2 of those months. In a moment of stupidity and because I let my overthinking get the best of me I tweeted "I'm single". I would have never acted on those words and I even ...
A. 2 May 2018: What is it with millennials and the internet... I really wonder because I'm a millennial but I don't see the point in using the internet to ruin your relationships and reputation so please, somebody, explain that to me?
Look dear, the relation... (read in full...)
Dating an older guy. One year on he still hasn't said he loves me
Q. I have been seeing a man 24 years older than me for about a year. He's never told me he loves me. He says I mean the world to him and that he loves being around me. He looks at me "moony eyed", sometimes he just holds me and looks at me. He is ...
A. 2 May 2018: I see it as him being cautious. As you should be too, mainly because of the age difference; it's a bit tricky.
24 years is a big gap. If you do love him (which you think you do) and the two of you decide to build a life together, the age gap will... (read in full...)
Should I report a teacher for teaching 7 year olds about sex?
Q. 3 days ago my 7 year old daughter came to my house asking me about why guys can only wear condoms, she was too curious to know more about sex and the male genital. I was shocked how she knew the word condom, from who and why she is asking me this ...
A. 2 May 2018: Here is my take on the situation:
I believe in sex ed for kids but only for kids of a certain age (about 10 for instance) because of when puberty has a greater chance of striking. My problem is that, for a 7 year old it's a bit much. Mainly beca... (read in full...)
Am I on my way to being hurt?
Q. I just turned 40 and I’m divorced. I met a man one day outside and thought him and his friends were trying to rob me (lol) Im a professional, educated woman and I have two sons 20 and 17 one in college and the other on his way in the fall. ...
A. 2 May 2018: The part that has me a bit weary is mainly the fact that he has 7 kids by 6 different women. Now, I think that people with such pasts will have a very difficult time being able to tell what's love and what isn't. In fact, even the fact that he told ... (read in full...)
Everything I do my friend copies.
Q. So ive had the same best friend for atleast ten years, we have had our ups and downs but anything that would end a friendship.. But my peoblem is, lately, shes been doing everything EXACTLY like me.. Like let me explain, if i say im changing...
A. 15 April 2018: She has issues; a low self esteem and low self confidence. She thinks that you have things together more than she does and she probably thinks that if she copies you, it will help her become as confident and as sure as yourself as you are. It's ... (read in full...)
My online guy has been professing his love for me but I've found out he has a girlfriend!
Q. Basically I've been with a guy for 8 months and we're long distance (he's also from a different country than mine we just met in the summer) . It was his choice for us to stay together although we are far from each other and we always skype and keep ...
A. 15 April 2018: He's an idiot. Block him and move on or as I say, "Ex him, next him and pretend you never met him."... (read in full...)
How do I accept that he doesn't want to be my friend?
Q. I started speaking to this guy 'M' online around 3-4 years ago. Our conversations were very fluctuating, and never particularly in depth but I really like and admire M as a person. We get on great, have so many similar interests, and for a while I ...
A. 15 April 2018: Please just realise that you're wasting your time by hanging around and waiting for him to 'like' you. He has made himself clear and you should respect that. If he wanted to let you in, he would have so stop over analyzing this whole situation ... (read in full...)
What does this married man mean when he says he finds me physically attractive?
Q. I've met this guy at work. He is married. We have a lot of things in common.He is a very private man. He doesn't talk much to anybody until I started working there. He said he likes me and enjoy being his friend. He is always careful about what he ...
A. 15 April 2018: It means that he finds you attractive enough to sleep with you should he get the chance to. That's it.
If he tries anything, put an end to it because advances may follow. Don't allow him to open the floodgates and reel you in. Be better than tha... (read in full...)
My uncle and I are in love, but what about Auntie?
Q. I know that a lot of you are probably going to say how nasty and sick I am and how I need to get help right away, and I totally understand where you're coming from but I'm writing here because I have no one to talk to and I'm kind of going nuts over ...
A. 15 April 2018: Firstly, I don't think that you're nasty/sick. The truth is that your uncle has forced his way onto your lips and into your mind and your heart. HE is actually the sick and nasty one.
The fact of the matter is that you're young and it's easy to ... (read in full...)
He's never told me directly that he loves me but he says it over text. Why does he do that?
Q. Me and my guy friend know each other for 1 year, we are in a long distance friendship since he moved out to another state for work 2 months ago. I do know that he loves me before he even moved out, but he didn't tell me that until 1 month ago. He ...
A. 15 April 2018: Stop with the back and forth and get OUT of this relationship. If you genuinely are NOT ready for a relationship. In fact, both of you might be unprepared.
Here are a few scenario's:
1. YOU think you don't want a relationship but you do based... (read in full...)
Does having a car really make you the better option to date?
Q. Does having something that the next person doesn’t make you the better option to date? Will it stop your boyfriend from losing interest? My friend was messaged a screenshot/picture by her ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend that showed a status ...
A. 15 April 2018: I say; NO, having a car doesn't make you better. It doesn't better your chances (as a female at least) and it doesn't make you fart perfume (for lack of a better analogy lol).
If this new chick thinks that that's what it will take to keep thi... (read in full...)
Can we really be future friends respectively?
Q. Same sex best friends for four years and we crossed the line and had emotional and physical affIr for 4 months. We are both married and won’t leave our husbands and families. We still work together and continue to have lunch and talk at work only ...
A. 15 April 2018: Give her the time and the space that she requested. The worst thing you can do now is force things. Leave it alone.
As far as you guys' husband's go, do right by them and let this thing go. Again I say; LET IT GO. If both of you love and respect ... (read in full...)
What are his intentions? Is he just playing around?
Q. Dear cupid , Im a flighta attendant, ive met this guy onboard we were both very interested in eachother , we were flying to florida but it turned out he had a transit flight to another state , we texted when i had a lyover there he told me how m...
A. 15 April 2018: This seems kind of a game to me. Talking about having kids and building a future with someone that you haven't even met properly, is a red flag to me. Honestly, perhaps he is a decent guy because he may even be one (who knows) but all of this is ... (read in full...)
I’m tempted to ask her out but fear embarrassing her!
Q. There is a girl at my work that I have liked for years, but I never had the courage to talk to her until recently, after she asked a colleague who I was and was I single. We get on quite well but there is a little bit of shy / awkwardness when we ...
A. 15 April 2018: There is no real friendship there so don't be fooled.
I always say that dating people at work can open a can of worms that nobody will be prepared for. In my opinion, I think especially if she seems inexperienced; leave her alone. Because of the f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going to be sleeping at his ex's house this weekend
Q. My older bf (46), told me(29) that this upcoming weekend we were not going to see each other because he was going to go back to the city where he lived before with his ex wife, and that he was going to do some things, like look for a ...
A. 15 April 2018: To everyone saying that it isn't weird, look at it this way: if you're going to an exes home to pick up some stuff, is it necessary for you to sleep there? That's my issue here. If this guy is financially stable enough to build a home, he is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend asked me to move on but then why is he messaging me again?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for about four months now. Things were starting to get serious but then we had our first big fight. It was all done over the phone and we argued for about a week, both being too stubborn to meet up. He had the weekend ...
A. 10 April 2018: Both of you are quite stubborn and unable to reach a compromise or even communicate effectively so guess what? You're incompatible (and still immature).
Regardless of why he is contacting you, the fact remains; he broke up with you and when you... (read in full...)
Does this sound hopeless? Should I try talking to my boyfriend's rigid Indian parents and fight for him?
Q. Hello all.. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. I’ve known him for almost a year and honestly, he is the best boyfriend over ever had. I’m not exaggerating. He treats me with love, respect and kindness. After breaking up with my abusive ...
A. 10 April 2018: When it comes to traditional issues, cut your losses and ditch the situation.
I make it my aim to stay away from people who have very traditional parents. Mainly because even though they themselves can be westernized to the T, they still have to ... (read in full...)
My cousin talked me into having sex with her when we were just 12 and 13 and now I feel uncomfortable having her stay over at my place
Q. When I was 12 years old male, my 13 years old female cousin talked me into having sex with her. Over the next two years, we had sex on several occasions (maybe once every 3 months). We stopped having sex when she was about 15 years old and when I ...
A. 10 April 2018: If you don't want her at your house then don't have her stay at your house. After all, it's your home and I don't think that you should let your parents guilt trip you into letting her stay there.
Obviously it's making you uncomfortable because ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly changes the topic of conversation to himself and his achievements
Q. Hello everyone, there's a little thing that been "bothering" me about my boyfriend, and due of my lack of experience on these aspects, I was wondering if some of you could give me a little hand in order to solve this situation. Usually when w...
A. 10 April 2018: Personally, this would be a huge red flag for me simply because I can't stand people who are self absorbed.
To me, he doesn't ask you about your stuff because; he really just doesn't care enough to want to know. He finds his life more interest... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going to be sleeping at his ex's house this weekend
Q. My older bf (46), told me(29) that this upcoming weekend we were not going to see each other because he was going to go back to the city where he lived before with his ex wife, and that he was going to do some things, like look for a ...
A. 10 April 2018: Honestly, that's kind of odd and I'm sure that it would make most people uneasy if their partner suggested this. Why can't he stay at a hotel or BnB instead?
I think that you should just be honest with him and tell him that it bothers you. Hon... (read in full...)
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