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*ionee' agony aunt

*ionee'

South Africa  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ionee''s profile:

I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.

I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.

I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.

Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.

May you all be blessed in your endeavours.

Latest articles:

It doesn't have to be complicated

No replies yet...

7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...

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How do I make my husband love me more than his mother

Q.   My hubby is so loving by heart he will not express it..he express his love n romance only during sex at night..he is super romantic during sex..but when it become morning he is angry and busy dont have time to care me..even during my periods....

A.   10 February 2020: OP it's not a competition. Loving a family member is different to loving a spouse. It may seem unfair to you but there are different kinds of love. Wiseowle made a good point of asking whether or not the marriage was arranged or not because ... (read in full...)

I'm worried the chase is over now this guy has had sex with me.

Q.   I’m a 27-year-old female and I’ve been dating a 32-year old male for the past four or five weeks. Here’s some background info… We originally matched on Tinder back in October 2019 and began speaking but at that time I didn’t feel like it was the ...

A.   10 February 2020: Each to his/her own when it comes to sex but 5 dates wasn't enough to sleep with him. At least I don't think so. 5 dates, are just that; dates. It in no way indicates that you're in a relationship and it definitely does not indicate that you guys ... (read in full...)

How do I get over the lazy, lying man I dumped?

Q.   I have failed to get over my ex.. We dated for 2 years.. We were amazing together... The challenge was always two things.. He was a liar and not financially dependable.. I am a working woman of 34 years with a daughter.. I can support myself.....

A.   10 February 2020: You're still in contact with this guy and you're wondering why you can't get over him... You need a CLEAN break. Block him on social media and block his number. You're torturing yourself. Good people don't do what he has done. Good people don't use ... (read in full...)

I asked out a girl I'm crazy about but she said she is already in another relationship.

Q.   I dont know what to do here! please help, sorry ahead of time this is kind of long. I work at a book store that this girl is a customer of. ( we have a strict rule about not asking out customers, reasonable rule, i have no arguments about ...

A.   8 February 2020: She definitely does not seem interested in dating you. She's distancing herself from you for a reason and being pushy certainly doesn't help you in any way. I'd suggest to stop hounding her and let her reach out the next time she wants to have a ... (read in full...)

A girl he has never met sent my boyfriend a video of her boobs.

Q.   My partner of 2 years has been amazing but in December I sadly found a girl had sent him a video of her showing her boobs and it really hurt me Cos he saved it and he promised me him and this girl were just mates they never met up but still it hurt ...

A.   8 February 2020: This is so odd. It gives me all the feels that you're being played BUT I won't jump to conclusions. Regardless though, he's probably the type to talk to females/flirt with females, and think it's okay because they haven't met. Or have they? I ... (read in full...)

Are bad body odour and dirty clothes a deal breaker?

Q.   i’ve been chatting with a guy on dating site. Built up a connection, exchanged phone numbers and have now talked on the phone a few times as well as chatting online.Decided to meet up in person as we have a lot in common and definitely a ...

A.   8 February 2020: I definitely think that it's a dealbreaker. A first date is much like an interview; you'd want to put your best foot forward. If he did not even care to wear CLEAN clothes, lets just forgot the fact that he didn't iron, he did not even bother to be ... (read in full...)

I'm feeling guilty because for 2 years my married LDR lover has thought I am dead

Q.   I am separated with 3 children, in short, I am a single mother. My story is...I had a long-distance affair with a married man from 2006 to 2017. I met him once in Hongkong and Our relationship was wonderful but also painful. I love him a lot but ...

A.   6 February 2020: I agree that you NEED to find a way to stop takong money from this man regardless of the fact that he may not take it back. You have to cut the strings that are still attached. I would also, most definitely, see a professional to work through the ... (read in full...)

Was it my fault that we got into a mess?

Q.   I’ve been with my bf for 5 years now. I’m 22 and he’s 25. We live in the city in sort of a sketchy area, so sometimes I have to park my car down this creepy alleyway because our complex doesn’t have assigned parking. Annoying, I know. So last night, ...

A.   30 January 2020: Someone could have gotten seriously hurt. Regardless of how you felt in the moment, never let your emotional state put you in harm's way. Not only that, you endangered someone else in the process. That isn't smart, or fair. I'd suggest to let logic ... (read in full...)

My ex doesn't like it that I'm speaking with his cousin

Q.   So my ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago and his cousin in I have been talking for a while in my ex (Trevion ) is kind of mad because he thinks its wrong . so what should I do?...

A.   30 January 2020: Technically you're grown enough to do whatever it is that you want. However, your break up is pretty fresh, with that being the case; speaking to your ex's cousin does seem to be pretty shady regardless of whether you're being malicious or not, it ... (read in full...)

Is he normal? He says he doesn't want to sleep with me right now.

Q.   I had a date last night with an amazing guy! We went out for drinks, ice cream, and to browse books at the local bookstore. After that, he invited me back to his place to play chess. We didn't get to play because we were too busy talking but then he ...

A.   28 January 2020: It was the first date, relax. He probably just wants to take it slow and give it a proper go before things get complicated with sex. He probably wants to see where it goes and see whether a relationship can come of this. Just because he doesn't ... (read in full...)

Is it possible for this to happen?

Q.   My boyfriend was married at twenty years old, he is now forty. He has said he was naive, manipulated into getting married and knew he didn't love her. Is it possible people do get married when they know they don't love someone and know it wont last ...

A.   28 January 2020: Yes it is possible. ... (read in full...)

My father feels I betrayed him when I was a child.

Q.   My father has been mad at me for years and will hardly even speak to me. He and mom were divorced when I was 7, my brother was 9, and my sister was 4. Mom is old school about certain things. When I was 10, I had stayed out past dark playing at a ...

A.   28 January 2020: Wow it's baffling that your own father would try to use you against your mother in a selfish effort to get one up on her. That's all this is. It actually has nothing to do with you. He is being unreasonable by holding this against you and I suggest ... (read in full...)

He cried more over his old dog dying than he did over us splitting up.

Q.   Hi I’ve just ended a 6 year relationship he preferred being at work and spending time with his dog than with me and his twin daughters who are 3 years old the problem is he is still living with me until he finds somewhere we split up 6 weeks ago I ...

A.   28 January 2020: If all he said was "Okay" I assume that there has already been problems in the relationship and it wasn't completely unforeseen. Perhaps in the moment he didn't expect it so his reaction was very underwhelming. I read a study that said that females ... (read in full...)

I just need another person's perspective on boyfriend's attitude when we are gaming.

Q.   Hello everybody. I would like peoples honest opinions on the way my partner sometimes speaks to me, as I feel he could be more tactful with his words sometimes. I will give one recent example from the other night. We were playing a two player g...

A.   28 January 2020: Speaking as someone who games and gets pretty into it, it can be incredibly frustrating especially when playing with someone that makes all the wrong moves and jeopardizes the game at that point in time. Gaming is fun and acts as a stress reliever ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a child already, but I'd like to have one of my own.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together about a year now. He's almost 25 I'm 23. Hes already got one child a beautiful little girl whos 1 and a half. But lately I find myself wanting one of my own more and more. One who can call me momma. Her mother ...

A.   20 January 2020: You already know that you guys don't need one which leads me to believe that the two of you aren't quite where you would like to be in life. The two of you have only been together for about a year, that definitely isn't long enough to make that sort ... (read in full...)

I feel like I've wasted my 20s, and its hard to be optimistic!

Q.   I'm looking for peoples personal experiences with this if possible please. Has anyone ever wasted 10 years of there life and manged to not let it get them down? I've wasted a lot of my 20s as I've kind of been stuck in life. So no love life a...

A.   20 January 2020: Every day above the ground, is a good day. It's also an opportunity for change. You can't change the past but you can work towards creating a good future for yourself. Don't throw away the rest of your life which could be the best of your life, for ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend appears to be stalking people I know.

Q.   I was using my girl’s laptop to finish off some work when I ended up closing my windows and having to open them up through my history upon clicking I realized that she had been pulling up instagrams for people on my Instagram. Upon clicking the ...

A.   20 January 2020: Seems as though the two of you both have a thing for snooping. Very nosy. Her behaviour is rather odd and you did catch her so why not just ask her? She probably will ask how do you know/why were you checking through her stuff when you were supposed ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wont even text me while another boy will talk for hours on the phone.

Q.   my boyfriend don't give me the attention that I need in he always making excuses about why he did not talk to me. But it is another boy that like me in he been there for me more than him in. me in the other boy be on the phone for 10 hours or 8 ...

A.   20 January 2020: Your boyfriend probably has actual things that he has to do throughout the day. Perhaps he is working/studying. The average person does NOT have 8-10 hours available every single day for the sole purpose of texting. I actually ghost my cell for days ... (read in full...)

What is the ideal male body type?

Q.   I have been lifting weights for ten years and had a bodybuilder type of body. Most other males envied me. I assumed women found my type of physique attractive too. So I was surprised that my girlfriend didn't quite like the way I look and wanted me ...

A.   20 January 2020: It's hard to speak on behalf of the entire female population because everyone has their own unique taste. What some women may find to be repulsive, others may find attractive. To answer your question; there are some women that love a really b... (read in full...)

Did my boyfriend cross a line or did I overreact?

Q.   Hello agony aunts, I broke up with my boyfriend about 1 month ago we didn't talk for 2 weeks and he was already dating and talking to other girls (I saw him in the university with them), he came back to me again and told me that he wants me back. I ...

A.   18 January 2020: So you got angry when he wanted to be friends and then you got angry when he blocked her... Wait... What?! So you wanted him to do it but out of his own free will, without you influencing him? I suppose that's it? I don't know, this seems like a ... (read in full...)

A man I had sex with keeps ghosting me.

Q.   Hi all So I really like this man who split from wife last year and now lives on own - we have had one night which was amazing about a month ago but nothing since . I’ve decided if he isn’t contacting me then he isn’t interested so have left it...

A.   18 January 2020: He is definitely playing games with you and by you responding, you're getting roped in. I suggest that you cut contact with him. He gives you just enough to keep you wondering and keep you interested and when he wants to sleep with you again, h... (read in full...)

I hired a PI who tells me my wife has been cheating on me.

Q.   I recently found out that my wife has been having an affair for the past two years with a single male friend of ours who we had a drunken threesome with two years ago..that threesome which i initiated wasnt so fullfilling for me, since i had ...

A.   13 January 2020: You're married for 3 years and she's been cheating for 2? Does she stalk you? Run after you? Pine after you? OP it seems as though she just may just actually really like this guy... Like actually like him, perhaps love him. Not to make you feel bad ... (read in full...)

Should I move on or give it one more try with my overly religious ex

Q.   So I dated this guy in 2013-2015 We got very serious very fast. He came from an overly religious background but when we met he was more or less totally normal and although he was against having sex before marriage. We did it multiple times a...

A.   7 January 2020: You are both free to chose whom and what you want to believe in. Being religious and dating/marrying someone who is not means that the religious party will have to accept a lot that s/he does not necessarily agree with. You will bring certain things ... (read in full...)

How can I tell him his teeth need sorting?

Q.   Got bk in contact with an ex , he used to have a nice set of teeth but 2 yrs on hes lost quite a few to be honest hes lost the front and half the back. I'm not stuck up or snotty but hes let himself rot ( I know about his lifestyle) not the best. ...

A.   4 January 2020: The average person knows when they have a cavity... Trust me, he knows that his teeth are jacked up. He just may not care. I think it can be discussed in one simple conversation. The delivery is important though. It can be easy to offend someone ... (read in full...)

My partner doesn't know how to be a family man. Should I end things?

Q.   Hi I’m just looking for some advice about my partner who doesn’t know how to be part of a family we have a 4 year old daughter and I am seriously thinking about ending the relationship soon he’s always been the same but I thought in time it would ...

A.   4 January 2020: This is sad especially for a little girl not to get to experience actually having her father THERE, like really there. I grew up in a similar situation and to this day, I have no idea who my father really is, as a person, all because of how he chose ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with a boy who brought his girlfriend to my house to sleep.

Q.   Dear Aunties, Happy New year. I am a 36 yr old male. I have been with this 21 year old boy. We have a huge age difference. I have wanted this boy to be my boyfriend for a while now. He has been resistant to my advances and asked me to be patient...

A.   4 January 2020: I think that you should leave this situation alone. Your persistence has made you a likely target for doing things for him that you probably wouldn't do for any other stranger. Those sorts of benefits, he won't be quick to give up. With regards ... (read in full...)

Have I blown it by asking for more?

Q.   Hi all Have been friends with gut from work for years , he split from wife last year and flirted with me - I told him it was too soon for him but that I liked him . He then started talking again months later but then went quiet again - I left h...

A.   4 January 2020: To answer your question OP, you asked him that because it's what you felt. It's what you wanted. You have every right to want to be loved and appreciated. He, however, does not want anything serious by the sounds of things, and he, too, is allowed ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my mental health.

Q.   I'm scared i'm sinking into depression and can't pull myself out of it. I'm a Mum of one (teenager) and came out of a long term relationship in October. When I had my child, I battled post-natal depression for several years and so I think I c...

A.   2 January 2020: I can relate OP. The good thing is that you're aware of the signs. You know yourself well enough to know when you're experiencing a spiral and that's the first step and a very crucial one at that. I agree with the other aunts who say that dat... (read in full...)

I didnt get an answer, should I approach him again?

Q.   Hi, male in my late fiftys, always been by curious, never been with a male before, a woman friend has a gay friend,well I ask him straight up, if he interested in having sex , told him I was a virgin, he said he has been, staying away from sex for ...

A.   2 January 2020: The answer is no. Respect it.... (read in full...)

I'm in love with my cousin - a followup to my previous question.

Q.   I am re posting this question with extra details as I need more advice he has a girlfriend of 4 years, we have NOT had sex, he has never threatened me or hit me est... , i think I’m in love i want to know what he thinks and what I can do etc... I...

A.   31 December 2019: I agree with the other aunts OP. The answers are NOT going to change. This is honestly not okay, at all. ... (read in full...)

I found out my husband is cheating, I want to be able to do the same.

Q.   Question 1 ive been with my husband for 10yrs we both did our share of cheating and I thought we were passed it I promised to never cheat again I recently found out he still cheating but here I stay but now that I know his secret how can I tell him ...

A.   31 December 2019: You both have a blatant disrespect for the covenant of marriage and you clearly both DO NOT respect each other enough to even be married. I don't understand what it was that made the two of you Marry each other in the first place if you both don't ... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't like my new hair colour.

Q.   ive been with my partner for twenty years when I met him I was natural brunette but now im in my mid forties got a few greys and I changed my hair to blonde which everyone likes my family and friends and I get much more attention. Most importantly I ...

A.   31 December 2019: I totally get where you're coming from OP. I too, love to switch it up every now and again but I'm more on the crazy side with colours. I love colouring my hair and I don't really ask people for their opinions when doing so, mainly because I don't ... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't like my new hair colour.

Q.   ive been with my partner for twenty years when I met him I was natural brunette but now im in my mid forties got a few greys and I changed my hair to blonde which everyone likes my family and friends and I get much more attention. Most importantly I ...

A.   31 December 2019: I totally get where you're coming from OP. I too, love to switch it up every now and again but I'm more on the crazy side with colours. I love colouring my hair and I don't really ask people for their opinions when doing so, mainly because I don't ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend acts single and doesn't respect me.

Q.   Hello My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. I’m having issues because his social media. He brings his exes to it a lot. Particularly one that I caught him having an emotional affair. As well as a bunch of flirting. He...

A.   30 December 2019: So sorry that you're going through this OP. With that being said; do not wait for him to tell you that he does not want you. He has already showed you that he does not value you. The good news is that you DO NOT have to take this any longer. ... (read in full...)

My partner doesn't seem to care.

Q.   Hi I’m in a relationship now for 6 years but I feel so lonely I went out last night and kissed some bloke in front of everyone I was really drunk I get shown no affection from my boyfriend or shown any love at all we don’t have sex and he’s Been in ...

A.   23 December 2019: You tried to make him jealous and you failed at getting the desired result. When you're at a point where you feel the need to 'test' someone, which is what you did, the relationship is unhealthy and you need to accept the harsh truth that this guy ... (read in full...)

My partner spends a lot of time partying with his friends.

Q.   So me and my partner have been together around 4 years. For the most part it’s been good. My issue is his time spent with his friends. They get together about 3 times per week. His friends are mostly single and they party. Whenever they see ...

A.   23 December 2019: This is the thing with some guys and their friends; even if they have very little in common except for years of being in each other's company while being intoxicated... They will remain friends regardless of whether or not the friendships make ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and his crazy ex .... I'm wondering if I should just leave them to it.

Q.   My partner and I just got back together, and he has female friends and he slept with all of them. This one in particular that he keeps in contact with I really hate her because she was his gf before we got back together and she did some really nasty ...

A.   23 December 2019: Firstly, the fact that he is unable to forge platonic relationships with the opposite sex is a red flag. He also has lied and continued to keep in contact with people that he has slept with. Your choice of words used to describe her shows your level ... (read in full...)

I took my boyfriend back and he hurt me physically

Q.   So here I am. I took him back after dumping him for emotional abuse. This time he told me that things were going to change. A week later he was back to his same verbal abuse. This time tho I stood up to him. His five year old daughter was screaming ...

A.   17 December 2019: It was unrealistic of you to think that things would change this time. He is abusive and that will not change over night, if ever. Do yourself a favour and leave... For good this time. A single you is better than a dead you. ... (read in full...)

My date made a remark that I'm wondering if its a red flag

Q.   I've been on a date with a man, he had never been on a date or a relationship before (he's 24), and we brought up a topic about exe's and cheating. I was turned off when he told me that "A man cheats because his girlfriend/wife isn't providing him ...

A.   17 December 2019: For me personally, I'd consider this a red flag. Mainly because cheating, in general, is something that is a dealbreaker (for me) and anyone that can attempt to explain it away, probably isn't for me. ... (read in full...)

How can I learn to live, accept and move on from her past life?

Q.   I recently overheard things about my partner's past I wish I hadnt when she was talking with friends at a party. She is 33 and we have been together for over 9 years. Her past sex life was very promiscuous during uni. I have had only 4 sexual pa...

A.   17 December 2019: You have two choices here which are pretty obvious since they're the only two choices that you have to choose between: Either break up because it's too much to accept after so many years of being together OR learn to accept that there is nothing ... (read in full...)

LDR boyfriend won't come to see me for Christmas but will go see a friend whose father died

Q.   I am in a long distance relationship. He lives 2 states away, about 8 hours per drive. We had a little spat a few weeks ago, and patched things up. However, because of this spat, he told me that he would not be coming home for Christmas. He said I ...

A.   17 December 2019: So you say that a "mutual friend" has lost his father? I'm confused as to why, if this friend really is a mutual friend, you would not be attending this funeral yourself... Unless it's one of those situations where a female befriends her man's ... (read in full...)

LDR boyfriend won't come to see me for Christmas but will go see a friend whose father died

Q.   I am in a long distance relationship. He lives 2 states away, about 8 hours per drive. We had a little spat a few weeks ago, and patched things up. However, because of this spat, he told me that he would not be coming home for Christmas. He said I ...

A.   17 December 2019: So you say that a "mutual friend" has lost his father? I'm confused as to why, if this friend really is a mutual friend, you would not be attending this funeral yourself... Unless it's one of those situations where a female befriends her man's ... (read in full...)

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