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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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How can I start casually dating and hooking up with this dealbreaker?
Q. Im a 25 year old male with only 1 sexual partner in the past. How can I start casually dating and hooking up? Im not looking for a serious relationship as i just got out a 9 year relationship 4 months ago. How can i break it to a lady that i dont ...
A. 18 November 2020: Your break up is still very fresh. 4 months isn't a long time at all. I think that you're jumping the gun. Spending 9 years of your life with someone is a big deal and it can hurt very much when it ends. You haven't had time to process everything. ... (read in full...)
My parents are making a big deal about me moving out? I am an adult.
Q. Hello, I need advice. I recently told my parents that I am going to move out once I save enough money next year. They are now guilt-tripping me saying no one will be there when they die. I am the youngest of six and turn 25 soon. Surely one of my ...
A. 1 November 2020: I relate to your post so much.
Firstly, you're at a very reasonable age to be seriously considering moving out. Secondly, it isn't really their choice. I don't see how they could keep you from moving out if it's something that you feel that you... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking what he said?
Q. During the middle of August I started talking to this guy who was also single, we have now met up around 10 times we do the most random thing like driving around and even once watching the stars, we get on so well and he's been round my house 3 ...
A. 8 October 2020: I think that you are freaking yourself out by overthinking it because rightfully so; it should be a conversation that is had face to face. He seems to be interested in you and a conversation is in order as to how things are going, where they are ... (read in full...)
The man I am dating told me he still loves his ex
Q. Hi I’ve just started a new relationship I really like him I split with my partner a year ago he split with his 4 months ago we were in bed last night and he told me he still loves his ex so obviously now I am confused as to what to do I know I ...
A. 10 July 2020: 4 months is not a long enough time to get over a serious relationship. With that being said, he obviously would still be into his ex. He is completely wrong for roping you in on that though. You don't deserve that. If he knows that he is in love ... (read in full...)
My fiance is very secretive and it makes me wonder if I am making a mistake
Q. Hello, and thanks! So I'm engaged but not sure if I'm making the right decision. My fiancee is very secretive. I find things out mostly by social media because I'm friends with his friends and they post and it comes up on my newsfeed. Th...
A. 10 July 2020: You're cognizant of the fact that he hides things from you and you're extremely uncomfortable, that's enough for me. He is living his life like he does not really intend to settle down. That, to me, does not align with what it is that you want and ... (read in full...)
When we are together he gives me just enough attention to feel wanted, but otherwise I am ghosted.
Q. I caved and went back to my ex boyfriend. He claims he loves me and our baby. He still doesn’t help out with her. He will be consistent on communication. Then it will be days before he texts me. We are having sex again. Which is not good at all. I ...
A. 1 July 2020: He is very clear about where he stands when it comes to the situation. The question is: what do you want?
Do you want commitment? To be a family? To have your baby grow up having a father figure in her life? If you've answered yes to all of that... (read in full...)
I am facing a weird situation at work.
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I seem to be facing a weird situation at work. And any insights would be of great help. I am a mid senior worker with several years of work experience and I am decently qualified (couple of degrees in finance), currently ...
A. 1 July 2020: Although it backfired, you did what was right at the time. You tried to figure things out between the two of you which isn't wrong. You did what you had to. Now on to him, he seems like a bully that picks a target and proceeds to do a death roll ... (read in full...)
I no longer feel desperate for things I didn't have. How do I deal with these feelings?
Q. Hi. Im a 28yr old girl. I have been single throughout my life. I had very less paying jobs in past. No good relations with family. All alone, depressed and anxious over last 5 yrs. There was a time when i was too desparate to have a boyfriend and i ...
A. 23 June 2020: Have faith that this good season in your life isn't temporary; it's here to stay. You were granted just what you needed at the right time that you needed it. Give thanks to God for that blessing that you've received.
I suggest that during this tim... (read in full...)
Snapchat causing issues
Q. I have been seeing my boyfriend for around 10 months. We’ve known each other off and on since we were kids and we’re surprised when we both realised we’d liked each other for so long. Unfortunately when we met he had a girlfriend and I don’t ne...
A. 19 June 2020: The way that your relationship started has contributed to your feelings of insecurity because you know how you got your man so you'd hate to have to lose him the exact same way. I'm sure he also did not give his ex any reason to doubt him but he DID ... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a relationship that left me broken.
Q. This relationship has left me broken and I really don't know how to move forward. I was with him on and off for the past year and it was the best time of my life. We have so much in common, got along beautifully and never fought. He has a young son ...
A. 17 June 2020: You should at least give yourself credit for letting go even though moving on has been tough. The breakup is still pretty fresh so it will definitely take some time to heal. I agree with everyone else that has said that you need to stop checking up ... (read in full...)
I want to move from the friend zone to the romance zone.
Q. To the male readers here, has anyone successfully gotten himself out of the dreaded friend-zone? You know, when a girl you fancy treats you like her best friend and it is difficult to turn it into something romantic. If you have, could you please...
A. 16 June 2020: Honestly your chances of escaping the friend zone depends on the person that you're dealing with. Personally, the friendzone is a zone that I give out life time memberships to, needless to say, I don't date my friends. If you have not made your ... (read in full...)
I found a lipgloss in my boyfriends car now what ?!
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have a baby together he’s 2 we also live together . So I would say this relationship is serious right?! Wrong !! So about two months ago I snoop though his phone and went through his Facebook I found a ...
A. 16 June 2020: You seem to already acknowledge the calibre of the human being that you're dealing with. You've let his antics drive you insane and make you so insecure that you're now wasting your valuable time checking up on things and snooping. My dear, never ... (read in full...)
Even though I am lonely I don't want to be in a relationship.
Q. Hi all. Recently at my college I became interested in a girl in my class, and she became interested in me. We got to know each other, and eventually we started dating. The relationship seemed as if it was going smoothly, however it only lasted a...
A. 11 June 2020: Yes it is normal to feel lonely but want to be alone.
I suggest that you take time out to focus on yourself. To engage with other people your age on a friendship level and to focus on your studies. You have the opportunity to truly get to know ... (read in full...)
A long term friendship has become exhausting!
Q. Me and my friend have been friends for about 8 years. But lately I’m finding being her friend exhausting. She gets herself into silly situations that I have to help her through or to get her out of it. We lived together for 3 years at one sta...
A. 11 June 2020: She is beyond your help mainly because she has issues that need to be dealt with by seeing a professional that can give her the tools and support that she needs. It's draining for you because you aren't the right person to help her through this. You ... (read in full...)
How does agreeing to coffee or a walk suddenly change direction like this?
Q. A good friend passed away last year. It was very unexpected. Her husband [widower, I think you call him] contacted me yesterday afternoon and asked if I would like to go out sometime. I was pleasantly surprised and told him I would. Now today...
A. 9 June 2020: If he said that he wants more than what you're ready for then clearly the innocent cup of coffee is probably an attempt to date you or hook up. Either way, it isn't what you want so you should think seriously about that fact before being in contact ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of babysitting an immature co worker
Q. How do I tell my coworker that I am not here to babysit her sadness for her or to control the capacity she has for emotions. Everyone in the office literally caters to her when she pouts and screams. She’s laid on the floor at one point to get ...
A. 9 June 2020: Did she really do that at work?! I can't believe it. That's so unprofessional. I really don't blame you for feeling like you do. Often times, we all have personal issues that we're dealing with at home but we separate our working lives from our ... (read in full...)
I'm mourning a friendship that may have dissolved.
Q. I used to have very regular contact with a female friend whom I will name as "A" who attended the same church as me and we coordinated a youth ministry together with other team members. I was close to A and so were the other team members and ...
A. 26 May 2020: It sounds to me like she was basically disfellowshipped and she had no other option but to move on with her life since the church did not give her any other options. She had no support right from the problems within her marriage. She made a decision ... (read in full...)
Does this man like me or need space?
Q. This boy told me he likes me n he started holding me n kissing me. He stays the night n hold me. In morning he left early n didn't hear from him in a couple days. He came up to me n I said u didn't say nothing just left. He said I need to get on my ...
A. 25 May 2020: It appears to me that he is unwilling to commit at the moment, for whatever reason. I would move on with my life instead of waiting around for some guy to choose me. ... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is moving to Panama for 6 months and is leaving me behind. He wants me to wait for him. Should I?
Q. I know I won't get any sympathy here but I am looking for some advice. Mistresses have nowhere to go. My married lover (he is more like a boyfriend now) is going to Panama with his wife in September to spend 6 months out of the year there, ever...
A. 25 May 2020: You already have acknowledged all of the problems with his request. What you're asking for is for everyone else to agree. I agree, I do. It is selfish of him and it is unreasonable. The question is; is there a connection between what you know and ... (read in full...)
How can I do what's right for me knowing my parents won't approve
Q. i recently started a job in a care home on a rolling contract so it may come to an end in a few weeks, although It will most likely be extended . im sadly not enjoying it all and it is way more tiring then I thought and the hours I really long an...
A. 25 May 2020: It's a lot more common than you think to be a bit confused these days. It's understandable that you're an adult but don't feel like one because you clearly haven't been allowed to make your own decisions this far.
The world tells us that having a... (read in full...)
Blocked, I'm angry at how all the blame is on me, should I send a letter and a gift?
Q. I was seeing a girl and she has a boyfriend, who she got just a few weeks after we met. Turns out she wanted to see both of us. But recently finally, the boyfriend found out her secret. She was out with me, and he got security to bget into her room ...
A. 25 May 2020: I think that reaching out would be a huge mistake. Closure is overrated and you're going to get nothing out of this. You don't need to be her friend. Why you'd want to be friends with someone who can basically basckstab you by lying on you like she ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and have no breasts!
Q. I am 17 and have literally no breasts!!!! Most of the boys and girls who I'm friends with mock me about it and I'm the only one in my friend group who doesn't have a boyfriend. All my friend are like D cups or C cups and I'm barely an A cup. What ...
A. 15 May 2020: Speaking from experience because I was really petite and had small breasts in my teens as well I'm going to tell you what the truth is. Just like you, it was something that people constantly brought up to me which is ridiculously rude so I feel your ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex fiance distancing himself from me? He wanted to be friends
Q. Hi all... My current boyfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. I was really heart broken. So, I reached out to my ex-fiancé for advice. Him and I haven’t spoken in a year. My ex-fiancé told me he wasn’t in love with me and left me for his ex. His ex ...
A. 13 May 2020: You DO realise that you did not have to choose one or the other? You do realise that?
I don't know why it is that you feel like you had to have either one of them and clearly you're not very serious about either one of them or there would ha... (read in full...)
I moved out because I didnt feel safe, landlords are asking me to come back.
Q. Hi people. I moved out of a property 2 months ago due to the owner's adult kid harassing me. He made false accusations against me and was going through something at the time. I never made a big deal of the situation but I avoided talking to him. I ...
A. 29 April 2020: I definitely would not go back. Your safety and peace of mind is of utmost importance. Convenience, in this case, does not matter. ... (read in full...)
I give my girlfriend everything but it's not enough!
Q. Im struggling with something. After a whole day of normal communication with my gf (we are living separate during lockdown) the smallest thing can make her go into a tantrum. For example I work 6pm-2am. Therefore when I finish at 2am I will call ...
A. 29 April 2020: I dated someone that demanded my attention like this and it drove me crazy. I like my space and I like a healthy amount of communication but I don't like being smothered.
I will say though, that in a relationship both parties are expected... (read in full...)
Could we ever work out again?
Q. I was in a relationship for a year with my ex. We lived together and were deeply in love and had a crazy sexual connection. However - he was very insecure and possessive and the relationship became quite toxic with frequent crazy arguments (was ...
A. 22 March 2020: I don't think that it's within your best interest to try being in a relationship with him again. The two of you clearly do not make sense being together and you can definitely find love again along with happiness if you'd wait a while and give a ... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me after a fight and doesn't care that we don't have money or care about us
Q. I am feeling so hurt and my hear aches so much. My husband and I were good on Friday and later Friday night, he was out with his brother and sister drinking. He came home after 2am drunk and we had an argument... I told him it is best we go our ...
A. 3 March 2020: You told him that you want to separate and so he left. You did not even give the guy an ultimatum because what you said was "it is best we go our separate ways" which is a statement that you made (out of anger it seems) so the guy probably thought ... (read in full...)
I was asked to be a Matron of Honour, but I can't really afford it.
Q. To cut a long story short, my friend got engaged 6 months ago and asked me to be her maid of honour but since then she’s asked me to go to one wedding fair (which I couldn’t go to due to my child being ill) yet her bridesmaid has been to several ...
A. 23 February 2020: I agree with the other aunts. The sooner you tell her, the better for the both of you. You have responsibilities and that's understandable. She should be able to understand that. She may wonder why you waited this long though. I understand that you ... (read in full...)
Was it a good idea to make a fake account and test my lying boyfriend?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. It's been a very rough relationship because we were always on and off because of his controlling behaviour. He lied to me about his age, his family and about him not talking to ...
A. 20 February 2020: No I don't think that it was a good idea to test him. At that point, you already knew what you were dealing with - a liar. You really did stoop to a level that no human being should ever stoop to. All after, taking back someone that is a ridiculous ... (read in full...)
Should I try again with the woman I dumped?
Q. I broke up with my girlfriend because she had a degree and gets paid more than me. She has her own place. I moved back in with my parents because I’m going through a divorce. I have a crappy job she tried to help me find a better one. I kind of ...
A. 19 February 2020: You should give her back everything that she has asked for. You broke up with her because you were insecure and feeling inadequate. That's not her problem, and you will make it her problem once again should you choose to date her again. Let her move ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend got angry about pics on social media.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago, we've not been in contact much since then, but he's gotten angry with me about a photo he found on Instagram. The photo in question is me with a Snapchat filter, the one with the bear ears and no...
A. 19 February 2020: Do you like the photo? Yes you do. Are you still dating this guy? No you aren't. All that matters is that YOU like YOUR photo. Keep the photo and block your ex. I honestly don't think that shoulders are scandalous. ... (read in full...)
In love with 2 men I am just in limbo at the moment and don't know which way to turn
Q. I have never been so tormented. I am in love with two people. I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years but I got to know someone else. It started as friendship but somehow we have developed feelings for each other. I now have no idea what to do. I ...
A. 19 February 2020: If you loved your boyfriend as deeply as you think you do, you would have not fallen for guy number 2. It's obvious that there's something missing for you, which is why you've found something in this other person. If I were you, I'd break up with my ... (read in full...)
Should I trick my husband to let me watch him and a friend?
Q. Hi all. This might seem an unusual problem for some. I've always known my husband is quite flexible when it comes to sexuality. In college he told me he had a friend that he experimented with on numerous occasions and it never bothered me. Inf...
A. 19 February 2020: The amount of times that situations like this end up ruining a marriage, are far too many to count here on DC, in particular.
This is a marriage, not a fling, not just some relationship that may end anyway... A marriage! You may want to consider... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 16 February 2020: You've really done yourself a disservice by not considering yourself first since the beginning. You thought you were one in a line of many different woman and you still stayed... So it makes me wonder.. what do you think that you deserve when you ... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 16 February 2020: You've really done yourself a disservice by not considering yourself first since the beginning. You thought you were one in a line of many different woman and you still stayed... So it makes me wonder.. what do you think that you deserve when you ... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 16 February 2020: You've really done yourself a disservice by not considering yourself first since the beginning. You thought you were one in a line of many different woman and you still stayed... So it makes me wonder.. what do you think that you deserve when you ... (read in full...)
I've just discovered I am the OTHER WOMAN!
Q. I've been in a sexual relationship with a man for over almost 4 years now. I do not have feelings for him, but had always wondered why he was so distant and indifferent towards me throughout the 4 years. Long story short I just found out throug...
A. 16 February 2020: You've really done yourself a disservice by not considering yourself first since the beginning. You thought you were one in a line of many different woman and you still stayed... So it makes me wonder.. what do you think that you deserve when you ... (read in full...)
How Do I Get My First Date Before I Turn 30?
Q. I am a overweight, not very handsome, not particularly smart or interesting, bald, geeky, awkward male virgin. I am very introverted to say the least. I've never even kissed a girl and I've never been on a date. When I get nervous, I stutter and my ...
A. 12 February 2020: You're probably not the best at making people view you in a positive light. I wonder what your dating profiles say because based off of how you just described yourself to us, you don't seem to believe in yourself very much or know how to showcase ... (read in full...)
My idea of dating doesn't match that of my family
Q. Hi Aunts!! In need of some opinions and maybe an insight of my issue here. A little background story; I'm 21, Malaysian Chinese and in my final semester of my undergrad degree. Started dating my bf for about 10 months now and everything is pretty ...
A. 11 February 2020: You sound like a very wise young lady with good intentions. As annoying as your parents advice may seem, they're trying to make sure that you keep growing and hopefully don't have to learn certain lessons the hard way. It can come across as nagging, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend needs help to move on from the past.
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and a few days ago he felt very vulnerable and opened up to me about his past. I knew that he suffered but he didn't open up until now. He told me that his mom and dad got a divorce wh...
A. 11 February 2020: He seems to be stuck under a dark cloud. He cannot just 'get over' what has happened to him because it somehow had found its way into the present. It's easier for you to remove yourself from the past because you've managed to heal from it, for the ... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband love me more than his mother
Q. My hubby is so loving by heart he will not express it..he express his love n romance only during sex at night..he is super romantic during sex..but when it become morning he is angry and busy dont have time to care me..even during my periods....
A. 10 February 2020: OP it's not a competition. Loving a family member is different to loving a spouse. It may seem unfair to you but there are different kinds of love.
Wiseowle made a good point of asking whether or not the marriage was arranged or not because ... (read in full...)
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