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*ionee' agony aunt

*ionee'

South Africa  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ionee''s profile:

I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.

I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.

I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.

Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.

May you all be blessed in your endeavours.

Latest articles:

It doesn't have to be complicated

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7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...

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I (F) upset my boyfriend and he's now being so cold with me. What do I do?

Q.   I need advice on what to do about my boyfriend. Whenever we have an argument and I am slightly to blame, he gives me the silent treatment the next day and sometimes for a few days. He has mental health problems and I will admit that he is very ...

A.   1 June 2016: Ok so mental health is a serious issue. He's problems stem from that. I however think that he needs help with that. I'm assuming he's already seen a professional? Anyway, that isn't to blame for his acting out. He is very insecure or he would never ... (read in full...)

I'm turned on by a fantasy I'm sure my wife's interest in would be zero!

Q.   Hi All. I am a very happily married man and my sex life with my wife is fantastic. However, I am hugely turned on by the thought of a threesome between my wife and a shemale. I am almost certain that my wife's interest in this is pretty much zero. ...

A.   1 June 2016: Since you already know that your wife is 100% not interested, then why even bother asking? Leave your fantasy as that OP; a FANTASY or you may really upset your wife and cause a problem where there isn't one. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cheated and I have all the proof but he keeps denying it

Q.   This is probably a no brainer but I'm asking anyway, found out my boyfriend has been texting and chatting with his ex, I confronted him and he promised to stop because he didn't want to lose me the problem is he hasn't I checked his phone and have ...

A.   1 June 2016: You only have one option here and that would be to move on. No good can come with staying. Protect yourself by breaking it off then cutting all contact. ... (read in full...)

Embarrassed about my financial situation, even though he is paying a lot towards this trip?. How can I raise this with my new BF?

Q.   Hello there! It's been a while since I've needed to use this website but here's goes... My new boyfriend of a couple of months has bought us a holiday abroad for a few days (flights and hotel). We are going away this Friday and the closer it get...

A.   1 June 2016: I think that on this case honesty is best. I completely get you on the crappy paying job part but its good to let certain people know that you're on a strict budget and its no fault of your own. I'm sure your boyfriend will understand that you ... (read in full...)

Was I wrong to voice concern about messages from his ex?

Q.   My boyfriend's ex lives in a different state and, until recently, didn't know he was in a relationship. Long story short, I finally told him that some of the replies she leaves on his FB (things such as winky faces, invites) are inappropriate. H...

A.   26 May 2016: I think that you were right to voice your concerns. Good for you OP. You stood up for yourself and there is nothing wrong with that.... (read in full...)

Age gap. Is our relationship destined to fail or can we make it work?

Q.   Is me and my boyfriend's relationship destined to fail or can we make it work? I'm an 18 year old girl dating a 39 year old man. We have been dating for 3 months now and it has been amazing he is the best relationship I've had so far. He really...

A.   26 May 2016: It's totally up to you whether your relationship will work out or not. As with other relationships, it will be a challenge but if the two of you are willing to work through any problems that will arise then so be it. The age will bring up quite a ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is touchy feely with other girls.

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. The problem is that he's extremely touchy and always tickles and teases other girls, even in front of me. I talked to him about it but it seems that it's pointless. I've never told him not to hang out with ...

A.   26 May 2016: If you don't like it, move on because clearly he is not willing to stop. If you do not want to leave then you will have to find a way to deal with it. It's as simple as that. No analysis needed. ... (read in full...)

Help ! I need help dealing with my negative bitter mother.

Q.   Dear All, I need help dealing with my negative bitter mother. My mother is a good woman and has been a good mother. She raised 4 kids all by herself after my father fell mentally ill. She is still married to him but unhappily and bitter at ...

A.   26 May 2016: I get where you're coming from. Your mother has a lot of frustrations and because she probably feels trapped in her current situation, she has no one to turn to but to you. In her mind, she isn't thinking "Let me bother my child with my problems ... (read in full...)

How can I ask my husband to consider an open marriage? Cheating has never been a part of our relationship

Q.   I’d like to discuss with my husband a possibility of an open marriage but don’t know how to do it. First of all he may think I literarily lost my mind. You see, I was always a good girl/woman, did what was expected of me, while my husband was free...

A.   26 May 2016: You problem is with the state of your current marriage. You want to have your cake and eat it too. For a while consider this, why do you want this within your marriage? I think that your marriage is one of convenience in your eyes and you don't want ... (read in full...)

I feel as if I am just the girl he made pregnant. Does he really love me? I feel as if I'm second best

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years and together have two babies. We have 2 kids each to previous partners. All up we have 6 kids whom we raise together. He was with his ex for about 5 years. They were not married but were...

A.   26 May 2016: There is no way to rid your life of this other woman as you and her both have kids with this guy. I suppose that the reason that he doesn't want to talk about marriage with you is because he doesn't want to rush into being engaged a second time and ... (read in full...)

My bf thinks I'm scared of sex because I'm still a virgin?

Q.   But the truth is...I am nervous about doing it with a real person. But I've also been using sex toys for over a year now. And some are bigger or the same size as my bf (I gave him handjobs so I know his size). To me the toys are really private so I ...

A.   18 May 2016: Your guy sounds like a douche sorry. Its only been official for a week yet he keeps asking for sex. I thinks that you should take it as a sign that sex is most probably all that he is after. No you're not silly or childish for not wanting to jump ... (read in full...)

I'm a confused, betrayed and broken mama! Should I try to meet his mistress?

Q.   Hi, i just discovered that my husband of 4yrs is having an affair at his office. My instinct told me something wasn't right but i tried to remain positive and trust him,some sent me an anonymous text message which made me connect the dots and ...

A.   18 May 2016: Meeting the mistress will do no good so leave it out. Your fight is with your husband. He is the one that married you and spoke those lies at the altar. The mistress owes you not a thing. Now, what you need to consider is all the lies he had to tell ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend sent a love and apology letter to his ex while with me!

Q.   We have been together 6 years on and off. We were changing the furniture in his room I found a letter he wrote to his ex last year. He broke up with her 6 years ago now, as he moved country. She lives in Italy. I ended up translating it to English ...

A.   18 May 2016: We could all analyse the letter from start to finish but the main point here is that you clearly need to talk to him about it. Once you talk to him, you can then make an informed decision on what to do thereafter; whether to leave, stay and ignore, ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is punishing me for his ex girlfriend's behaviour

Q.   I've had this boyfriend for about 8 months, in general we have a very steady relationship, but he has trust issues. His ex girl friend hurt him and i feel as if he punishes me for it sometimes, i told him that i made plans with two of my good ...

A.   18 May 2016: This tends to happen a lot these days where people bring into a new relationship what's plaguing them from the past. I agree with the other aunts. You're still very young and shouldn't have to put up with your boyfriends insecurities and harsh ... (read in full...)

He sent a false rumor around that I sucked him off. (I'm 14) Yet I still think he is gorgeous. I need your help, please? What to do?

Q.   Hey , This is kinda embarresing but there's this guy who I've liked for YEARS now literally and he knows that I've liked him for that long. I think about him ALL the time. He makes me so nervous and everyone else blurs and I only see him. But he's...

A.   16 May 2016: OP my advice to you is to steer clear of fuckboys because they know just what to say to keep that hold that they've got on you. The truth is he doesn't nor will he ever care about you. It's more so that you're a pawn in a game that he is playing and ... (read in full...)

Rekindling the spark in a relationship

Q.   Me and my boyfriend are in a pretty nice and cordial relationship. It has been a long time that we have been together. We both are working and successful. I was a complete nerd throughout my student life and never been in a serious relationship ...

A.   12 May 2016: I think that besides the fact that you two haven't made love yet, there are little things that you can do. You can dress up really nice for him one evening and make him dinner and the two of you can eat by candle light. You can introduce sensual ... (read in full...)

What age is too old to have a baby? 40? 41? 42? Or beyond?

Q.   Is 40 (me) and 43 (my husband) too old to have a baby? We both have kids from previous relationships but I would really love for us to have a child together. He has hinted that he thinks we're too old. I don't. We have talked briefly about it at the ...

A.   12 May 2016: You can still have a child after 40 as long as biology allows it however the health of your baby could be compromised not to mention the long list of possible complications you might be faced with . . . it's up to you whether you want to run the ... (read in full...)

Is there any way to overcome what I have done? I've apologized but I'm worried about family repercussions following my action.

Q.   i drunk kissed my sister, she is 5 years younger than me, i feel bad and helpless, i wish i could reverse it, it was a small peck on the lips but with wrong intentions. I have said sorry to her, now i am afraid our relationship will never be the same...

A.   12 May 2016: STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL from now on because it does no good for you!... (read in full...)

How can I cope with this? His intelligence is eroding my self confidence

Q.   I've been married to a man for 10 years. And who is extremely intelligent. I consider him to be a genius because he has an incredible ability to learn and retain new information and skills which far surpasses any other human I've met. This could be...

A.   12 May 2016: Everyone is intelligent in his/her own way. He may envy what you're brilliant at grasping or doing just as you're envious of him but it's important to understand that we're all different. We're all intelligent but just in our own unique ways but ... (read in full...)

How do I get this stereotype about men out of my head?

Q.   Hi there! I think I've recognised a bit of an issue in how I view men so was wondering if anyone has any advise for me! Leaving university next month, however my boyfriend is staying to do another year. He's going to live with a friend of m...

A.   12 May 2016: It's not just you that worries, a lot of women would worry! It actually really depends on the type of guy really . . . there's not much else to say.I mean, it could have happen that he runs off with her and it could not . . . ... (read in full...)

What’s the best response to a break up message?

Q.   If you are in a long term, committed relationship with a man, and he decides to break up with you [either because he's found someone else, or has just tired of you, or whatever his reason], in your experience, what is the best way for the woman to ...

A.   12 May 2016: I think that the best way to leave is to accept the news by listening to what is being said and then wish them a good life along with every happiness then walk away and be gone from their lives forever. I see no point in throwing a bitch fit. ... (read in full...)

Does every relationship become boring like this?

Q.   Does every relationship get so boring that there is no excitement anymore and it feels like you are just friends? When I was first with my boyfriend I wouldn't say I was infatuated or obsessed but I liked him a lot. That lasted for about a year but...

A.   12 May 2016: Not very relationship becomes boring. I think it mostly has to do with compatibility and/or whether or not the two of you have become too comfortable within your relationship to even try to do the small things that will bring back a bit of that ... (read in full...)

Is my nudity, inside my own home, in front of my 44 year old stepdaughter, OK or not?

Q.   My wife and I are in our late 60's - just average people except that we like to be nude at home when it is warm enough. Now my 44 year old step daughter is living with us and strongly objects to me being naked even though it is my house. Her mo...

A.   12 May 2016: I think that its inappropriate being nude in front of your step daughter. No one is denying that it is your home as we all know that it indeed is BUT there are certain behavioural patterns that are acceptable and there are those that aren't. Quite ... (read in full...)

My fiance gave me the engagement ring his former fiance wore!

Q.   At the risk of sounding like a spoilt brat here- which I assure you I'm not, I'd like some opinions. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and have been with my fiancé for almost 4 years. If I'm honest I wasn't keen on the ring- it was pretty but too ...

A.   8 May 2016: I gasped something terrible when I read the title let alone the entire thing. Besides your fiance being a lazy, cheap bastard (mind my language), how could he not see this as a problem?! So what, are you supposed tho be fine with wearing a ring t... (read in full...)

Which future do I choose?

Q.   i have a slight dilemma , im an independent woman who doesnt rely on a man i have had lots of times being single. anyway 3 months ago i split with my boyfriend we agreed we would be better as friends , we even agreed to be friends with benefits , ...

A.   8 May 2016: I agree with the other aunts. Start afresh OP. This isn't a test where the answer is either A or B, there is also both (what you find as an option until you choose one) and neither (which I strongly suggest you go with). It seems as though because ... (read in full...)

I love him but he doesn't speak English well and the sex is disappointing!

Q.   Hi Agony Aunts, I'm having a difficult time at the moment. I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now - he's so nice, truly loves me and never does me wrong. He's honestly a gentleman and I do love him. However, we don't even speak the sam...

A.   8 May 2016: Communication to me is very important. How else do you voice your opinion and/or concerns? If it wasn't for the language barrier I'd say talk to him about your frustrations (sexually) but since that's a problem what is there left to say? OP, you ... (read in full...)

Any tips on how to move on? Am I doing the right thing to keep my distance from him?

Q.   Me and a guy were dating for about six months we were never in an official relationship but spent a lot of time together and were exclusive. He recently ended things with me and I feel so heartbroken. He said he still wanted to remain friends ...

A.   8 May 2016: Yes OP you're doing the right thing. The only way that you will be able to get over this guy, would to be to continue doing what you're doing. Yes its going to hurt not speaking to him every time you miss him, think about him, reminisce . . . but ... (read in full...)

Does my boyfriend's friend have something against me? Why did he say I was ugly?

Q.   Hi guys, just need some help on a situation to see if I am overreacting My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years About a year into the relationship my bf had this friend who I had actually known since I was little but we weren't really f...

A.   8 May 2016: He is a guy. Guys aren't like us females who actively stand up for the people we love, most just tend to not get involved. That's what I've come to learn. A lot of guys I know would rather not get in the centre but they'd rather just befriend both ... (read in full...)

I am jealous of my online boyfriend's past relationships.

Q.   Guys. I have an issue . I have been dating a guy online now for sometime like 3 years . he is open to me about his ex and showed pictures and told me stories like how his ex cheated on him. I understand and appreciate that he is trying to be open ...

A.   6 May 2016: 3 years is a long time to be with somebody. Jealousy is OK as long as it isn't consuming your life and your time, in which case, that would be a problem. I will say though that more information would be nice such as whether thou actually know each ... (read in full...)

Is he a genuine guy or not? he seems to start liking anything I like

Q.   Actually I met this guy beside my office he too working there. At first it was just a physical attraction. After 1 year we started talking. I knew that he was going for dating with other girls. Once a situation has happened which we got intimate....

A.   6 May 2016: I think that he just may have budding interests. As previously mentioned, he really needs to grow up and stop throwing temper tantrums whenever he gets upset.I think he may just be trying his hand at new things such as the gardening and stuff that ... (read in full...)

How should I deal with these financial expectations, that my parents regard as normal, in my culture?

Q.   Hi all, I'm in a bit of a quandary now. From where I come from (Asia), my parents have some form of expectations that when I get a job in future, I'll provide for them, or give then "allowances". They weren't joking about it when they mentioned it...

A.   6 May 2016: I'm from South Africa and although we're mostly westernized here, there are still some people who expect allowances from their children so I get both sides on this. Personally I don't think that an allowance HAS to be paid to parents once you've ... (read in full...)

I'm not Barbie enough. What's the answer?

Q.   Hi, I know this sounds like a stupid question but I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is obsessed with Barbie type looking women. If a woman with long blonde hair walks past he stares at her till she's out of sight. I'm the opposite with ...

A.   6 May 2016: Simply speak to him about how it makes you feel when he stares at those 'barbie' type woman. Men do tend to stare sometimes. It doesn't necessarily mean that he'd rather be with that woman you know? Talk to him... (read in full...)

Why won’t he help me around the house?

Q.   Hi everyone I am just trying to make sense of things. My boyfriend (together for 4 years) lost his job and came to live with me while looking for another. I paid all the bills including his child's (not my child) school for 6 months. He got another ...

A.   6 May 2016: This guy sounds like someone straight out of the 1950's with his ideas on gender roles . . . personally I hate guys who imply that cleaning etc is a woman's work. What the hell right?! Why is it too much for the guy to put a vacuum to the place or ... (read in full...)

A week after our second date she has sex with someone then texts me making small talk unaware that I know about it. What does she want?

Q.   I recently went out with a girl whom we share mutual friends. I kissed her goodnight and later on she texted me what a pleasant time she had. The next day I texted her something about wanting to kiss her again before some party we were both invited ...

A.   6 May 2016: I'd say that she must not be very into you if she came up with some story as to why she's uncomfortable kissing you then not long after, she gets with some guy . . . it just seems like she's playing at something, something which if I were you, I ... (read in full...)

How does a teen get over a celebrity crush?

Q.   I have a celebrity crush. I understand that at my age, this is completely normal, but I think that I have crossed the line. I won't explain how (I'll leave that to your imagination) but I know that I've gone too far. I've tried to find obtainable ...

A.   6 May 2016: You're completely normal and it will eventually fade away with age. When I was a kid I had the worlds biggest crush on Paul Walker after the fast and furious film was released. I felt like a complete psycho because I pictured wedding bells ringing ... (read in full...)

How does a teen get over a celebrity crush?

Q.   I have a celebrity crush. I understand that at my age, this is completely normal, but I think that I have crossed the line. I won't explain how (I'll leave that to your imagination) but I know that I've gone too far. I've tried to find obtainable ...

A.   6 May 2016: You're completely normal and we it will eventually fade away with age. When I was a kid I had the worlds biggest crush on Paul Walker after the fast and furious film was released. I felt like a complete psycho because I pictured wedding bells ... (read in full...)

Why don’t I have the desire to be a mother?

Q.   All my friends either have a baby or are pregnant. As much as I love and adore my best friends baby I just don't seem to have the urge to have my own. My boyfriend would love to have a child and I know without a doubt he would be an excellent dad. I ...

A.   6 May 2016: No, you're not (as you put it) abnormal. You're just not maternal at this point in time. Will it change? Well, it might. Your reasons for not wanting a child are as valid as the next persons and I completely understand. Perhaps you should confront ... (read in full...)

Has anyone here fallen in love with a married man?

Q.   Has anyone in this group never fallen in love with a married man and decided to stay on the side in case he leaves his wife? If yes did he ever leave his wife? Is it a possibility that he may leave his wife?...

A.   6 May 2016: To be honest, It seldom sways towards the wishes of the mistress. She usually stays on the sidelines hoping to God that she gets the man. Let's say that she does (us being hopeful), the part of the mistress is now open again . . . You become the ... (read in full...)

She’s annoyed that my parents won’t allow us to spend the night in the same bed! What should I say to her?

Q.   Hello, I've been seeing this girl for around 1 month and a half. We are both 19 and Last week i stayed over at hers and everything is fine and we stayed in her room in her bed. She is due to come over and stay at mine but she will be sleeping...

A.   6 May 2016: It's not them over controlling you. it's your parents' home and its their rights to lay down the law within their home. If they see fit for her to sleep in the spare room (which I 100% agree with by the way) then that's what she will have to do, ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend likes meeting new girls and gets very flirty with them! Is this messed up or what?

Q.   I have an issue regarding my boyfriend. I don't know if it's a serious issue or I'm just over reacting. Basically to put it in a nutshell, my boyfriend likes meeting new girls and getting to know them. My boyfriend is a very nice guy, but is also...

A.   6 May 2016: To answer your question; Yes it is messed up. If he is as good a guy as you make him out to be, then he wouldn't need any validation from any girl that isn't you. Just the fact that he does this knowing that you don't like it is a major problem in ... (read in full...)

What do I do about this? He doesn’t return the favor!

Q.   so here goes... From the ages of 15 (lost my virginity) to 21 I've always had oral sex given to me with out asking (im now 23)...(by boyfriends not randoms) My current boyfriend of two years this september has only gone down on me a hand full...

A.   3 May 2016: If he isn't willing to give then he shouldn't be ready and waiting to receive it either. Going forward, if there is anything you just do not want to do, I would tell him just as he has told you and you'd see how "ok" he'd be with that. If you don't ... (read in full...)

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