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... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
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| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
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Was he just being an ex, and was he using me?
Q. Hi thanks for reading guys I need advice. On wed me and my ex spend the night together, we went for a meal a few drinks and was best night we ever had, he was so loving told me he can't imagine his life without me. Was incredible met some of his ...
A. 24 July 2017: My advice is do not message him again. It's not your job to do the chasing and you will make yourself feel awful for it.
He will contact you when he feels the need to contact you but until then, you shouldn't worry about it.
Do not stress... (read in full...)
He asked and asked me so many times for pictures of me. Finally I sent one. I feel so scared that I did this. What should I do?
Q. So I'm 13. One day my best guy friend asked for pictures of me in a sports bra. Well I told him no and he asked and asked and kept asking. I've took pictures like that before (Not sexual) making sure not to show anything. Well It was 2:30 am and ...
A. 24 July 2017: OP, you have the right to say NO and you have a right to let you NO's mean NO.
This guy is a creep! He is a total jerk.
If I were you, I'd cut contact with him and maintain your standards. Make sure that in future when you say no that you ... (read in full...)
Have I missed my chance to find a man, settle down and have a family?
Q. What do you do if you want to find someone to share your life with and get married so much that your heart hurts, but you are in your thirties and feel like you missed your chance? I've had lousy luck with guys all of my life. All I want is to...
A. 24 July 2017: OP it is never too late to find love so do not fall into the trap of thinking that your moment has passed.
You deserve love and affection just like the next person and you will get it in due time.
Try multi-dating. It's actually a thing... (read in full...)
Is this guy lying about his wifey situation?
Q. I met a guy online and started seeing him. Before I started seeing him he took down his profile as he said he found it demoralising. He told me he was separated, had been for 9 yrs. said he hadn't divorced because he wife had gotten a boyfrie...
A. 24 July 2017: Truth or a lie, he's too much drama to deal with and you could do much better.
You deserve someone who has time for you and who puts you first.
Trust your gut with this one. We have those instincts for a reason. ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he really wants a relationship?
Q. I've been dating a guy for the past 2 months. He is one of the most interesting people I have ever met we talk daily and see each other once/twice a week. We ended up having sex a little early on I think it was the 4th date and it was mind blow...
A. 24 July 2017: If he was that spiritual and grounded then he wouldn't keep trying to get you into bed.
If I were you, I'd look at whether I'd want to be with someone like him or not, as a person, considering that he only seems to want to sleep with you.
... (read in full...)
Will he contact me?
Q. So I've been dating a guy for 6+ months. We told each other that we love one another. He has asked me to invite him over for dinner. Well the day came and he never showed up. I texted him and no response. I called him and he hung up. The next day he ...
A. 24 July 2017: Honestly, I think that maybe it's best to forget this guy.
I can't imagine what you could have said to him to upset him but I think that was a red flag! I think it was rude of him not to show up because it was his idea to begin with and also, if... (read in full...)
What now? We were hanging out together a lot and I got her free lift tickets and helped her get gear!
Q. I have been hanging out with a girl for 6 months. I moved to town a year ago and was looking to meet new people.. so I come along and offer to take her skiing. Help her get gear, free tickets and we go. Skied a couple of times hang out and life is ...
A. 24 July 2017: I think perhaps she has some issues and is not in any state to date right now. Whether it has something to do with you or not, I have no idea.
I think that you made a mistake spending so much money and time on her right off the bat. It's not as i... (read in full...)
Advice please on my crush on a policeman
Q. I am 17 year old young woman! I have a strong attraction to a local cop, because he responded to a home invasion when i was all alone one summer.. I fell for him because he was such a quick responder, like 5 mins. He was so sweet, very experienced. ...
A. 22 July 2017: He was there when you needed him. That´s part of why you like him. You need to realise that you are not in love and that you´re looking really crazy to this guy right now. You need to realise that´s it´s a part of his job to be quick and alert. Do ... (read in full...)
Overwhelmed by worry - please help
Q. How can I stay calm or practice keeping sane? I suffer from an obsessive personality (doctor said this) where I start to think about cuz and I repeat it in my head 1729 times. I habe the same reaction to a medical diagnosis to loosing a wallet- both ...
A. 22 July 2017: Hi OP.
I have anxiety issues (I'm diagnosed) as well and I find that what helps me keep my mind at ease is doing yoga and exercising. It sounds ridiculous but it works for me. Straight forward meditation doesn't work for me because my mind wan... (read in full...)
How do I appraoch being a step-father?
Q. Hi There is this girl which we have a lot in common with...she is single mother to 4yr old girl but her dad has nothing to do with them from day she was born. What're your thoughts about being a step dad? I don't have kids of my own either, ...
A. 22 July 2017: I agree with honeypie when she says that a kid should only be introduced to you after a reasonable dating period. It can be confusing for a child if people just quickly come into and out of his/her life so make sure not to be someone who is going to ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling more alone being left out!
Q. Some people may find this petty but my feeling are being hurt. Theres a close group of 4 of us. Its very hard to get together at the same time due to commitments. 3 of my friends meet up more often and leave me out even tho im free. I dont mind ...
A. 21 July 2017: OP, maybe you should focus on other aspects of your life.
I know that some people get their feelings hurt by worrying about how ´friends' treat them but really its your expectations that need to be lowered at the same time. If you´re looking ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I'm harder on him than on anyone else
Q. So my boyfriend complained and said that I'm harder on him than I am with others or our friends. I don't deny that, but I feel because he's my boyfriend and I have higher expectations of him, that that's okay. Am I wrong? He says its unfair. Case...
A. 21 July 2017: I would call your friend an acquaintance because her relationship with you seems more like 'take take take' than 'give and take'. I've had friends like her, those are people that you should keep at an arms length and do not make the mistake of ... (read in full...)
My friend is too clingy!
Q. I have a guy friend (JUST A FRIEND). The problem is, though he is nice, he is rather clingy. He always wants to hang out with me. I find it rather awkward. I want to pursue other friendships too and hanging out with him makes it seem like we're ...
A. 21 July 2017: I think that this friend of yours probably wants to be more than friends. Seeing as you clearly do not want what he wants, you should speak to him about his clinginess and how its affecting you. That really is the only way to get through to him ... (read in full...)
I'm lost in feelings about my cousin. What do I do?
Q. Well as my title states I'm lost on my feelings about my cousin. It first started out when we were kids and we were both very close. Then we both learned out sex. We experimented quite a bit. To tell you the truth it made us even closer. From there ...
A. 21 July 2017: OP, I would leave any thoughts of a relationship with your cousin out of your head as much as possible. There are so many lovely women out there that are not related to you that are willing to date. Why not start dating again? You could open ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to walk, am I just being used as a babysitter?
Q. hey, my partner sits on her phone all day does the odd chore round the house i mean when one of the babies does a dirty nappy she doesnt get down to cleaning it up she tells me babies pood so i end up doing it and been like that for years im a stay ...
A. 20 July 2017: As much as it may suck to be in the situation you're in, I don't understand how you ended up there. Could you not find work? What happened? That may help us better understand your situation if we know a little bit more about how you ended up here.
... (read in full...)
Engaged but I've seen someone new
Q. I am engaged to a man whom I have been in a mostly happy relationship for 9 years. He cheated on me three years in with someone at work but we got over it. We are now engaged and the wedding is next year. My problem is, I'm absolutely obses...
A. 20 July 2017: Let us assess by dissecting what you just wrote.
OP, I do not Think that you are ready to be married. You brought up his cheating which you are supposed to be over buts clearly you're not. You need to seek some help in dealing with that which ha... (read in full...)
How do I help my boyfriend sort himself out?
Q. My boyfriend had a really bad relationship with this girl before me and left him with some mental scars and we were totally fine until he got drunk and texted some random girl stupid stuff but they weren't that bad. Now he's apologised loads and I ...
A. 20 July 2017: Hi OP.
Your age immediately suggests to me that you're too young to deal with his emotions. Honestly speaking.
You should just break up with this guy because he sounds like he's about to be really unstable and could possibly end up abusing y... (read in full...)
She makes up things I've said - then criticises me
Q. Hey guys, Need some advice here or just a way to avoid the unnecessary arguments altogether. In short, my girlfriend is continuously saying I've said things I've never said. It's driving me mad because if I defend myself about these things...
A. 20 July 2017: OP, this is not a good sign.
As other aunts previously mentioned, she is gas lighting.
You should try to exit this relationship before things boil over. If you think you will never be right, that's because you are right about that.
You're... (read in full...)
Did I ruin our date?
Q. So I was really wondering , how do you know if the date is going well? I've been on this date with a guy and the whole date we were laughing and talking with a few moments of silence but we were together for 5 hours and it was really fun and at o...
A. 20 July 2017: Hi OP.
When a date is ruined, trust me you will know.
The fact that the two of you were laughing and enjoying yourselves is a good sign. If the date lasted like 5 hours, that's also a good sign because who would allow themselves to be... (read in full...)
How do I tell a man he's not doing it for me in the bedroom?
Q. Ok so my problem is pretty simple. How do I tell a man he's not doing it for me in the bedroom? I've been seeing a man for about 6 weeks now and in the last two weeks we've started to have sex, but it really isn't good. He's a great kisser and...
A. 20 July 2017: Hi OP.
I think the best time to let him know how you feel is when you are not in a sexual mood. Just bring it up like a regular conversation.
I like the idea that a previous aunt mentioned about highlighting the positives first. This will... (read in full...)
I like him but scared I wil lose the friendship!
Q. Hi, so, I'm a 14y/o female. So I go to karate and there's this guy (14 too) who I get along with really well. I kinda think I have a crush on him. I end up thinking about him randomly and whenever I go anywhere I always hope I could see him ...
A. 20 July 2017: Yes you do have a crush on him.
If, as you've mentioned, you get crushes easily then wait it out and see how you feel. I wouldn't say fight it, I'd say wait it out a bit.
You seem to really value your friendship so I wouldn't risk losing the ... (read in full...)
He flirts with me when his girlfriend isn't around.
Q. I'm not sure if my male friend is flirting with me or just being friendly. Its starting to make me uncomfortable. So in a nut shell, I've known and been friends with him for over a year now, I'm 18 and he's 23. When we first met I must admit I had...
A. 20 July 2017: Hi OP.
Firstly, if he cannot act the same way around you when he is with his girlfriend then that just shows that his intentions are not pure. If they were just friendly hugs then why does he not hug you the same way in the presence of his girl... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex wife still comes into the house every week
Q. My boyfriend of a year is divorced three years and his ex wife comes into his house with their High School children to collect any things they have left there when hes at work. She comes in with them and into the lounge and kitchen etc and has a ...
A. 19 July 2017: Honestly, I would tell him that you do not: like it, feel comfortable or safe with someone that you do not know just wandering around the house.
OP,this could turn very ugly because she's not just an ex,she's also the mother of his kids so she h... (read in full...)
A man who she has been dating for 3 weeks gets more recognition than I did in 3 years!
Q. I am so upset and livid right now and I just need some words of wisdom and kind responses to bring me back down. I'm a gay female. I spent 3 years in a relationship with a woman. I was the only woman that she'd ever been with. It was one of th...
A. 19 July 2017: Hi OP.
Well, you were hidden and you did not let your ex know that it was unacceptable.
The truth is,its easier to remain in the closet in a same sex relationship under such circumstances when you haven't come out yet than it is to just be ho... (read in full...)
Things were good until his ex' got involved
Q. I met a guy online in January who is a really great guy. He's a bit older than me but that doesn't bother me. He's 37,I'm 27. We spoke for about 3 weeks before we met for real. We got on instantly and after a few weeks, we began spending more and ...
A. 19 July 2017: OP,as my own personal advice that I live by "Do not get involved with any guy who has baby mama drama or an ex that won't leave him alone or vice versa". That was your first mistake,letting him get away with pushing you to the sidelines the first ... (read in full...)
Can you stay friends after having a one night stand?
Q. About a month ago, I met a guy on a dating site. We would talk from night to morning every day. I kind of like him, but he rarely talked about himself. I was curious about him; therefore, I checked on him on Facebook and found out that he has a ...
A. 19 July 2017: To answer your question which serves as the title of your post; yes you can remain friends but there is a catch...
Look, just because you want to remain friends does not mean that he wants to be your friend. You could just try to force to have thi... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my husband because I feel sorry for him?
Q. Hi, I'm 49 and married second time for 5 years. He is 13 years older and adores me. But Iv never really been settled. Iv hankered after an ex for the first years of the marriage. Now Iv met and fallen madly in love with a guy I met . I'm so ...
A. 19 July 2017: Let your husband go. Not because of the new guy but because of the resentfulness you seem to already feel towards him (your hubby). I mean, if you can get sick just by looking at the guy then you shouldn't put him or you through any much torture ... (read in full...)
I'm disappointed that he suggested such a crummy hotel. Am I overreacting?
Q. Hi, thanks for your advice in advance. I'm 40 and my my boyfriend is 45. He took his children on a short vacation and asked me to go with them. I didn't accept his invitation because this is a new relationship, we have been together for 6 months, ...
A. 19 July 2017: I agree with other aunts that say you're acting spoiled however I'll hand it to you for not going on the initial trip.
If it really matters to you where you stay and not the fact that you'll be WITH HIM then go ahead and turn up your nose. Th... (read in full...)
Husband wants sex and a baby but he's searching online for partners
Q. Everyday I feel more and more sick. My husband always asks for sex but I don't want it, he wants a child but I don't, not even an adopted child, but he insists, and now he's trying to turn me on but I say no. The real problem is he's searching o...
A. 19 July 2017: OP, Trust me, if you aren't maternal,it probably will never happen as there are cases where some women never become maternal regardless of the oxytocin that's supposed to bond you to the child.
Having said that,I don't think that you should b... (read in full...)
8 years of trust,broken! Can we make it back?
Q. Hi all thanks for your help first of all I have a horrible problem I need help with. Sorry about the lengh. I went on a holiday with 4 of my friends one of them is my boyfriends brothers girlfriend Side note: I've been with my bf 8 years been ...
A. 19 July 2017: OP, is I'm being honest, your guys' trust issues seem to really have little to do with you. He seems like he's really insecure and it seems like he always has been but only now it's starting to show.
To me, as with other aunts and uncles on here,... (read in full...)
I don't want to panic in the future about oral sex performed on me, advice please?
Q. Hi I'm an 18 y/o girl and lost my virginity earlier this year. It was great, and the foreplay was even better, except as he was kissing his way down there I was pulling him back up. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him going down on me, like I ...
A. 19 July 2017: Hi there OP.
The advice you've received so far is so great and so accurate because yes, you may not like your own taste, but he may not feel the same way. Often times we're so self conscious that we end up psyching ourselves out filling in thoug... (read in full...)
I'm shocked my boyfriend broke up with me because I wanted to communicate! Your thoughts?
Q. We have been going out 6 years on and off. We are students (23) He started working a few weeks ago. He didn't reply to my msg for 3 days, I heard from him the 4th day saying how much he loves me etc...he sent me a msg saying he will take me out...
A. 25 June 2016: I don't think that it was something as petty as that that led to the breakup. Clearly there was something brewing beneath the surface. If I were you I wouldn't bother even trying to talk to him/ try to win him back. It's time to move on sweetie. ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend still has profile picture on facebook of us together 5 days after break up?
Q. We have been going out 6 years on and off. We are students (23) He started working a few weeks ago, he has been acting strange ever since. He didn't reply to my msg for 3 days, I heard from him the day after this saying how much he loves me etc....
A. 25 June 2016: Don't read into something that isn't there. Now is the time for you to focus on finding yourself apart from your couple status. Just because it hurts being apart from him doesn't mean that you should be with him. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her Bf what she is like?
Q. A female who fancies me wants to have me and isn't happy in her relationship currently with a man she's with. He's not the best looking but he is a nice guy and really loves her, and I feel sorry for him as he does and she doesn't feel the same ...
A. 9 June 2016: I wouldn't mention anything ... (read in full...)
Why am I still with him? I've lost respect for him.
Q. I have a problem - I'm too forgetful. During the first two years when my BF and I dated, I didn't really care to know too much about him because it was at a honeymoon, sweet, lovey dovey stage. Now, after two years of being together, I've r...
A. 9 June 2016: OP you know that's it's not worth it to stay in a relationship with him because you two are wife different. He still has yet to grow up while you are already responsible and sensible. If you know within yourself that you do not deserve someone like ... (read in full...)
These are some sexual dilemmas that concern me. Can you advise me on any of these issues?
Q. If you think you would like to be friends with someone and you can see think they are angling for a date/sex, do you make it clear to them you aren't looking for anything? or do you hang out with them and then just be distant. Sometimes ...
A. 9 June 2016: Yes you should make it clear that you aren't interested instead of leading someone on (in a way) only to let them down later on... (read in full...)
One week into the relationship, now that he has me, the thrill is gone for him. It's not looking good, is it?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a week now. Before that, he chased me for a year and I never gave in because I thought he was a jerk and needed to try harder. One day we had a falling out where we didn't talk for a few days, and when he met ...
A. 9 June 2016: I don't think that this relationship can be saved. It's best that you get out now before investing your time, energy and feelings I'm something that was doomed from the get go. Perhaps it's time to have a talk with him and let him know that it's ... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a one sided relationship with a guy who tries to deliberately belittles me. Can someone please advise what to do?
Q. So heres my problem, Ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend since October (9 months) and have lived with him for 8 months. We are always together. For the last 6 months, I havent been happy in life or in our relationship. I keep trying t...
A. 9 June 2016: It's not about proving people right or wrong OP, this is your life and you're compromising your happiness by being with this guy. You have got to decide that once and for all you're leaving and it has to be some time soon or you'll be stuck in an ... (read in full...)
Not long before we started to date he had sex with a girl who is one of my friends. Now I know I feel uncomfortable about it. How should I respond?
Q. Would you date a guy who had slept with your friend not long before you decided to date? Note that it was not a one night stand, but happened a few times... I have known this guy for a while and only recently have we hung out a lot and gotten t...
A. 9 June 2016: I can totally see how this would be an uncomfortable situation. You did mention that he told you the truth beforehand so you could make a decision as to whether or not you'd like to proceed with dating . . . why not just let him know that although ... (read in full...)
I (F) upset my boyfriend and he's now being so cold with me. What do I do?
Q. I need advice on what to do about my boyfriend. Whenever we have an argument and I am slightly to blame, he gives me the silent treatment the next day and sometimes for a few days. He has mental health problems and I will admit that he is very ...
A. 1 June 2016: Ok so mental health is a serious issue. He's problems stem from that. I however think that he needs help with that. I'm assuming he's already seen a professional? Anyway, that isn't to blame for his acting out. He is very insecure or he would never ... (read in full...)
I'm turned on by a fantasy I'm sure my wife's interest in would be zero!
Q. Hi All. I am a very happily married man and my sex life with my wife is fantastic. However, I am hugely turned on by the thought of a threesome between my wife and a shemale. I am almost certain that my wife's interest in this is pretty much zero. ...
A. 1 June 2016: Since you already know that your wife is 100% not interested, then why even bother asking? Leave your fantasy as that OP; a FANTASY or you may really upset your wife and cause a problem where there isn't one. ... (read in full...)
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