| Latest articles: Are you in a controlling relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
3 April 2009: i decided to write this article in view of the amount of people that I know/know of who are in unuqual relationships, that is in particular women who are in unequal relationships. Im not sating that it doesnt happen to men, of course, but often it ...
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I love him. So why accuse me of cheating? Is he cheating? He has become controlling. Gave me no sympathy when I lost our baby.
Q. Okay my boyfriend and I started dating last June 2012. He was in California and I was from Maryland so like a long distance relationship. I already saw him though back when were 12 years old. I took a vacation in the Philippines, and since then h...
A. 10 March 2013: its hard but you need to get rid of him because you cant trust him after this. you will never be able to forget this or forgive him (not blaming you of course) good luck... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend that I seen her boyfriend's profile on an online dating website?
Q. I need to know whether I should say something or just stay out of this. I was on a dating site and I saw my friend's bf on there. I made a fake profile and messaged him and he tried to pretend he didn't have a gf and asked me to hook up with him. ...
A. 8 March 2013: yes, and if u are worried she will be angry at u then find a way to do it anonymously (different email address for example)... (read in full...)
My crazy ex claimed she was pregnant the day after we broke up!
Q. Hello, I feel like I'm falling apart and desperately need some help and advice from others to help me piece everything together in my own head. So about 2 months ago I was introduced to a girl through a mutual friend who thought we might be good...
A. 3 March 2013: I have read your question and the advice you have got and I want to add 1 thing. you said this friend told you the photo was ''read only''. well if she sent him this over facebook it is not ''read only'', there is the link to download ANY photo or ... (read in full...)
Everybody knew about my boyfriend's pregnant girlfriend but me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and I just recently found out that not only has he been cheating on me for years but the girl is now pregnant. The reason I found out was because a friend of the family told me. When I asked him ...
A. 3 March 2013: the other people here have written fantastic advice, I just want to add that I was in a similar position 4 years ago, except that he had got her pregnant before we met and although he lied to me saying he never knew about the baby until it was 3 ... (read in full...)
If I move back where he is will it help our relationship?
Q. I left my partner for what was initially a short time 6years ago,he was dificult n verbally abusive,we lived in Ireland and I took my daughter who was then 12,she started school in the UK n loved it,my partner was upset which shocked me as he had ...
A. 2 March 2013: stay where you are... (read in full...)
Should I get the morning after pill? Or am I just being silly?
Q. I had sex on Wednsday night, I'm almost 100% certain we used a condom but I cant be certain as we had both been drinking. My period started today but I'm still worrying about being pregnant although the chances are really slim . I'm thinking of ...
A. 2 March 2013: you have some time, there is a new morning after pill in the UK that works up to 5 days, I believe its called Ellaone. research it online and get it please... (read in full...)
Acne is getting me down..does anyone have any advice?
Q. Hi. I'm an 18 year old girl who has suffered with quite severe acne since I was 11. I have dry skin, scars on my cheeks from previous acne and the majority of my acne is on my cheeks, chin and jawline. I know that wearing make-up doesn't help ata...
A. 2 March 2013: hello, sorry to hear that your acne is still there. I have had it since I was 13 or 14 and the doctor put me on the pill Yasmin at 16 and it helped a lot. however I have oily skin, it helped with that too. I would advise you ask your doctor about ... (read in full...)
My wife wants a divorce after rushing the marriage, was she just using me to get over her ex? What should I do now?
Q. Seven months ago, on a dating site ,I met American girl who was 16 years olders than me , means she was 46 and I was 30 then. In just matter of two months , she came to Pakistan and married me. Honestly speaking, she was doing all that too quickly ...
A. 20 February 2013: this woman sounds very immature for her age and childish, even. someone from western culture should not marry someone they only have met once or a few times, we do not do this and therefore we do not know how to handle a marriage which is very ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to finally snap and publicly humiliate and insult someone who had been talking trash about me for over a year?
Q. Hi. I am looking for advice on whether I did the right thing or not. My boyfriend has this girl friend, who I have only met a handful of times, who has a lot of animosity toward me. I had always been really nice to her the times I ran into her. When ...
A. 18 February 2013: I think this was a long time coming for her & whatever you said you were extremely right! from what you said that your boyfriend doesnt seem to be too worried that she is upset, well this further confirms you were in the right as he obviously felt ... (read in full...)
Whats the best way to act when running into an ex that has really hurt you?
Q. I need advice on what is the best way to deal with when running into the guy who hurt you so badly and upset you more than you've ever been? My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me nearly 2 weeks ago in a club with no compassion, dece...
A. 18 February 2013: totally ignore him but keep a distant smile on your face so that he will see he has no impact on you and so that you look happy even if you're not. good luck Ive been in that situation before ... (read in full...)
I'm 75% happy with my g/f. Should I marry her in 4 weeks?
Q. HI,Im due to get Married in a few months.When im out with my girlfriend it sounds shallow but i feel im supposed to be with a girl that im more attracted too.I have had stronger feelings for girls in the past but i feel i do love my girl as any time ...
A. 18 February 2013: dont get married, you shouldnt be feeling like this if it is right for you both. it will be hard but if you get married you will be lying to you both.... (read in full...)
There's a thief in my house and my parents won't help me pin them down
Q. Okay, so i have a paper round every weekend i get paid £18, and i have been saving my money for ages, basically on Friday i had 5 £20 notes for sure positive certain and a £5 note i counted it all and i definitely did not spend it. So i had £100 ...
A. 18 February 2013: this is horrible and I would be rightly pissed off in the same situation! if there was a way to set a trap like leave a fiver hanging round where a particular family member is going to be, and only that person, or something like that it might help. ... (read in full...)
What is the right age to get engaged?
Q. I know my question seems a little bland and broad, so let me try to rephrase... How old should a couple be when they get engaged for the first time? I am 18, currently and proudly dating a soon-to-be Marine. He hasn't been home for a few months. ...
A. 18 February 2013: a couple should only get engaged once, and you should take ur time. if something seems to good to be true it usually is.... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 15 February 2013: I hope you are reading all these answers. people, strangers, have taken a lot of time out to answer and work out things for you... (read in full...)
Will my promiscuous past put off decent men?
Q. So I am 21, slept with 25ish guys (never counted properly because I am too scared to. I just know its less than 30 more than 15) Anyway. I started talking to boys in a more than friends type of way when I was 15 and since then I have spoken to about ...
A. 15 February 2013: you dont owe ANYONE an explanation or a total count of who you have done anything with. I would advise you lie about it, yes be dishonest, because many people are ridiculous enough not to let the past go. what happened before is your own business ... (read in full...)
Do you think it's my place to tell a woman whom I do know that her husband is cheating on her?
Q. Recently, I've developed an unusual hobby of seeing how many married men in the area I live are cheating on their wives. I have always been a really great snoop and considered being a private investigator at one point. There is a site I found which ...
A. 11 February 2013: Im with DV1, but make sure you do it ANONYMOUSLY. this could be in the form of a letter addressed to the wives, preferably with information in the letter such as the name of the website and the husbands username,even a screenprint if you feel such a ... (read in full...)
I'm 16. Is it wrong for me to have unprotected sex, already had a miscarriage and want to get pregnant?
Q. ok so heres the deal...me and my bf have been dating for almost a year now...we stated having sex 5 months after we began dating...but we NEVER used condom...we are 2 highschool students and he is to graduate this year...i have suffered a miscarrage ...
A. 4 February 2013: from your question and reply to previous answers, it seems you came on here looking for reassurance, not an honest opinion. yes it IS wrong, yes it IS irresponsible and no you are NOT going to be together the rest of your lives. so get on the pill ... (read in full...)
Unplanned pregnancy. I'm from a strict family and don't know what to do ....
Q. Hi everyone I'm here to get advice and not to be judged Yes me and my boyfriend are both adults and been together for 4 years. We are both working however we both live in different towns. We had sex however I took the morning after pill but I...
A. 19 January 2013: hello, I come from a strict family so I can imagine how you are feeling in this predicament and I think anyone who judges you is horrible. you need to go to Brook Centre as you are under 25 and they will help you find a non judgemental unbiased ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend creates all my present. Is he cheap?
Q. My boyfriend has a strange attitude toward gifts. He has never bought me anything, but rather creates all his presents for me himself. I don't have a problem with handmade things. They are wonderful and thoughtful. My problem is, the quality of m...
A. 19 January 2013: I agree wholeheartedly with the 3 answers in the middle of this page. you deserve better x... (read in full...)
After 40 years of being married to an alcoholic, I am leaving him. People tell me not to, why not?
Q. I have been married for 40 years to an alcoholic, He quit for 12 years and started drinking again, and he has gotten worse. I should have left him years ago,but I like so many others stayed for my two kids. THis was a bad decision, because for ...
A. 19 January 2013: ''why not''? there is no reason why not, as you know. just dont let such people stop you from progressing with your life. maybe they are worried that they will be left to pick up after this person, something which you have doubtlessly been doing ... (read in full...)
Fear of making love and getting pregnant is ruining my relationship. Help!
Q. Hey, I and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a half years now. We have had our whole loads of up and downs but in the end, we've always made it through, somehow not being able to stay away from each other. We were both virgins when we got t...
A. 8 January 2013: Try to look into how you might get contraception, I understand it is not easily accessible there but there must be a way.... (read in full...)
How can I get my fat girlfriend to lose weight?
Q. MOD NOTE: This was original poster's chosen title... Hi all Ive been with my OH (other half) for nearly 4 years now - when we first met she was 196lbs at 5ft 10 and it didnt bother me much. I was still attracted. Now, she is 219lbs! and thou...
A. 8 January 2013: With regards to your questions: q 1: yes you are a bit mean and the way you phrased the title is just lousy q 2: the only way you can get her to lose weight in a nice way is to suggest some physical activities like an exercise class or hill wa... (read in full...)
Worried I cant get pregnant when I'm older, help?
Q. Had unprotected sex on 4 different occasions since I lost my virginity, I was really worried I'd get pregnant but I've just got my period like normal... Now I'm really worried that one day when I want kids I won't be able to have them?? Is there so...
A. 8 January 2013: No that means nothing, and please do not go on having sex thinking you will never get pregnant. It is a very immature and reckless way to behave. I know someone who did what you did on many occasions and she thought she was infertile as a result. ... (read in full...)
I slept with my friends boyfriend 2 days before their baby is due. Do I tell her?
Q. So I've had this friend for 3 years. Me and her met because I hooked up with her boyfriend unknowingly. He split with her before I found out, but still cheated on her with me. Then cheated on me with her. So me and her became friends, long story sh...
A. 8 January 2013: ehh... obviously don't tell her! Wtf? Why would you people be happy to ''share'' men? This friendship is toxic at best. Why would you want a guy who has a kid with your ''friend''? Do you not value yourself enough to seek out a healthy relationship ... (read in full...)
BF asked me to tell his teenage daughter that she was dressed inappropriately but I don't feel it's my place! Thoughts?
Q. Hey everyone , I'm 25 my boyfriend is 37 and he has a 14 year old daughter. His childs mother lives in another state and his parents and himself raises her. His mom had a party for New Years and I went, I was extremely surprised when I saw his daug...
A. 8 January 2013: No, he is in the wrong here, it is not your responsibility to tell her. She will see it as you ''hate'' her or are jealous of her (of course this is not the case here, but 14 year olds havent fully matured just yet and cant always think rationally), ... (read in full...)
Just found out my boyfriend's ex is pregnant by him. Do I stay? Or go?
Q. So I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months goin on six...and just the other night he found out from a girl he dated before me she is pregnant...he told that he don't want the baby momma and loves me. An sees us with a future he don't want me to go ...
A. 8 January 2013: Been there, done that and it turned out in my case that he knew all along she was pregnant. I had to leave for my own sanity. Run for the hills!!... (read in full...)
Child Support issues. Am I asking for too much? He thinks so.
Q. After separating from my husband if many years, I started to claim for child support When he got to know this from the agency he sent me a text saying, "can't believe you're doing this to me, taking my kids and family away and now also causing ...
A. 26 December 2012: sorry you are right, it is 20% but make sure you get it and good luck... (read in full...)
Would he really leave his baby's mother for me? Or is he just telling me what I want to hear?
Q. I have been with this guy for seven years and during the process of five years we were facing problematic issues because he was cheating. It happened that he made love with this other gal and she became pregnant, I left this guy immediat...
A. 25 December 2012: I have to agree with sageoldguys answer, it is a very mature and well thought out suggestion, especially as kids are involved and their welfare come first. good luck.... (read in full...)
Why does your partners use of pornography bother you?
Q. Why does your partner's use of porn bother you? My reason is because they are getting off on someone that isn't me, I have noticed alot of other women saying it is disgusting and degrading that doesn't bother me as much as the fact it is a woman ...
A. 15 December 2012: it would bother me for the exact same reasons as you, and it would also bother me because it is disrespectful to woman (and the men in the films also) and it distorts peoples view of sex... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I'm married?
Q. Dear Friends, I am a 30 year old indian lady living in Europe and married to a German man. I havenot got the courage yet to say the truth to my Parents that i am married. How can i say I told them 1.5 years back about my love when they cam...
A. 3 December 2012: just tell them, remind them of him and say you are still together and see how that goes before expanding on it and getting to the point, good luck... (read in full...)
I'm worried my girlfriend's past makes her a slut
Q. Hello im a 21 year old guy and my question is im worried about my girlfriends past, I know its the past but some people don't change. I've been talking to thhis girl for a lil over two years I met her on a site, I've never had a real girlfriend just ...
A. 3 December 2012: I agree with Ciar, she does sound a bit troubles... (read in full...)
His ex attends the holiday gatherings with his family, isn't this disrespectful to me?
Q. So I began a relationship with a guy that ive known for many years.Early in the relationship we moved in together and I started having second thoughts.So I told him him we were done.I regret it but I spent the weekend with my ex and yes I had sex ...
A. 30 November 2012: yes it is unfair and you would be better off without someone who gave you a STI... (read in full...)
Help me to be reasonable and rational about this matter please? My Bf wants me to use Birth Control Pills but I think it's risky.
Q. I have been seeing this guy almost for a year. We are thinking about starting to have a future together soon. We are no longer use condoms every time after we became exclusive and came clean to each other about STD history and all. We sometime...
A. 30 November 2012: personally Im on the pill since july 2005 and before I went on it, I had extremely irregular cycles varying from 2-7 weeks, severe PMS symptoms for around 10days before my period came, and acne. my skin became super greasy at certain times of the ... (read in full...)
Would these be deal breakers? Does it suggest I should be calling the wedding off?
Q. My boyfriend, now fiance are planning our wedding and deciding on a wedding date. We have been engaged for one year. Dated for a year prior. I don't know if it is butterflies in my stomach but a few of his behaviors I am starting to ques...
A. 30 November 2012: hello.
I thought you were maybe unsure if you wanted to marry reading the first few reasons, until I came to the ogling and taking photos. Im not saying the first reasons are not valid but ANY man who ogled women and took photos of them, up clos... (read in full...)
My friend uses guys for sex and sperm to have their kids. She then purposefully drives them away!
Q. Please forgive me for the length of this letter. I have been friends with this girl for almost 6 years. She used to be so awesone, sweet, positive, energetic and excited about life, and now she is the complete opposite of all that. Let me tell...
A. 21 November 2012: ok I dont think you are being interfering here, in fact I think you are the most loving and caring person she has in her life right now. but the fact is she sounds like a person who has problems. she possibly had a troubled childhood, but she needs ... (read in full...)
I would like to hear from other adult children of bitterly divorced parents
Q. My parents got divorced when I was 10. I feel like I'm only now (10+ years later) just getting over it and all the intentional hurt my mom caused me afterwards because of her hate for my dad and my likeness to him. Did anyone else have parents who...
A. 14 November 2012: my parents split up when I was 9 and I felt anger towards my mother for different reasons. she took me and my brother to live with her, and she let our father come round every day which. this was pointless as she had left my father because of his ... (read in full...)
I left my wife for a woman half my age. Now I hear crap like she will leave me one day, how do I stop it and what do I do if she does leave?
Q. let me start out by saying that i usually dont need advice but im truly upset. i am 49 cheated on my wife with a girl half my age, left my wife for her, got a divorce, got engaged, and now im going to be a father for the first time, to my own child. ...
A. 14 November 2012: did you ask this same question on here a few days ago but from the girls perspective? as Im pretty sure it is the same poster, all the details are the same... (read in full...)
Should I be having side effects now I'm on the pill?
Q. i'm on the pill and strangely I haven't experienced any side effects yet, people say you experience depression, mood swings, emotional, headaches, cramps and breast soreness, weight gain... yet i've been on it a month and I haven't had any of that, ...
A. 8 November 2012: hello, I would say dont even think of switching pills, I have had no side effects from the pill since I went on it 7 years ago age 16, I was the same as you -expecting side effects to the extent where I was afraid of taking it. but it suits me just ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by not letting this awful man see our child?
Q. Ok, so I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. When I was 16 I was sleeping with this guy. Lost my virginity to him. He was in a relationship. Bad idea I know. My dad wasn't a good role model for me and I really really enjoyed the atte...
A. 8 November 2012: no I think you are doing the right thing. the man obviously is not a role model for anyone, let alone a child. if what you say is true, it sounds as though you are protecting the child, just try to be as honest as possible with the child and dont ... (read in full...)
My irresponsible 17 year old sister wants to get pregnant again just because I am! Should I advise her, talk to our family or just let her make her own mistakes?
Q. Two years ago my 15 year old sister became pregnant with her daughter. Things really did not go well at first, she had trouble dealing with a newborn and was reluctant to give up her social life leaving my mother and myself no choise but to step in ...
A. 3 November 2012: I think your parents need to contact the other greandparents and agree that she take more responsibility for HER child, before she has another... (read in full...)
The man I'm dating wants to borrow 20,000.00. How do I tell him no nicely?
Q. Hello, The man with whom I'm in love has been offered a contract worth $ 270 000. He is so thrilled about this new opportunity. However, to be able to execute the contract, he has to show proof that he has $50 000 in his bank account. He only hav...
A. 3 November 2012: you're kidding me right?! why would you need to show proof of any money to execute a contract, seriously you are being scammed. get out of there, fast. and RUN... (read in full...)
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