| Latest articles: Are you in a controlling relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
3 April 2009: i decided to write this article in view of the amount of people that I know/know of who are in unuqual relationships, that is in particular women who are in unequal relationships. Im not sating that it doesnt happen to men, of course, but often it ...
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Is the amount I'm paying to live with him reasonable?
Q. Ok I live with my boyfriend and id like to know your opinion on the matter of money. We both work for the same company just different departments therefore we both get paid on Fridays. So every Friday I have a standing order of £75 which goes i...
A. 8 June 2013: of course you are being taken for a ride. he is basically using your money to pay off HIS loan when he has said your name wont be going on the mortgage/flat. this indicates he doesnt see a long term future with you and you definitely need to change ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is using me.
Q. Hey, my boyfriend is 15years older than me. I am 21 and he is 36, I I think I might be falling for him, im not exactly in love as yet I dont want to get to that point yet and then I get heartbroken again. Here is the problem, he has 4 kids the ...
A. 7 June 2013: get out of there, with your kid fast. if hes living in your place then you need to call the police and they will remove him... (read in full...)
My muslim boyfriend's family have picked out a girl for him, they don't know about me. Will he man up?
Q. I am a female British white person i been with my Muslim boyfriend for 3 years. i very friendly with his auntie and uncle who he lives with. He loves me and i love him however things have come ahead and apparently they don't know that we are seeing ...
A. 3 June 2013: hello, from reading your post the first thing Im wondering is how old you both are. I get the feeling you are younger than what your age group says (36-40). I also wonder if you and him ever had a talk where you discussed your future (marriag... (read in full...)
Who first? My Depressed Suicidal Girlfriend or My Career that havent even started yet!!!!!!
Q. Firstly, thanks for reading. Secondly, I'm lesbian, just in case....I know for some its an abomination. For those of u who reads this and actually help me out I will be forever in your debt. Okay I'm in a relationship with a beautiful woman....
A. 3 June 2013: despite her depression she sounds like a selfish person and this is coming from someone who has been both depressed and suicidal in the past (still on meds for depression unfortunately) she makes sure there is money for bi weekly haircuts, other th... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 3 June 2013: wish I had read this 18 months ago.... thank you for the advice. I have had the same problem with a disastrous ''relationship'', I hate myself for it... (read in full...)
Is it rude to ask someone about a scar?
Q. Is it rude to ask about a scar? I've had a tummy tuck and lost 20ilbs. after. I am happy with my physique now and enjoy wearing bikinis. I had a friend ask me the other day about a 1inch scar from the surgery. I just mentioned I had ...
A. 3 June 2013: I think it is rude... (read in full...)
My ex's gf is driving a wedge between my kids and their dad. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid Im writing this through rage and tears... Me and my ex broke up 3 years ago, we have two amazing children together, He has moved on and has a child with another girl, their relationship is rocky most of the time, My ex has a bad Alc...
A. 2 June 2013: thanks for your reply :) yes you are totally right to not drop the assault charge, regardless of him being their father he needs to see the consequences of his actions and he needs to grow a pair in general and stop acting like a child. make sure... (read in full...)
How to save yourself from the Stress of Mr. Wrong in your Life.
Q. This is something I would love to share to everyone, especially for most female who are constantly questioning why mr. wonderful turns to Mr. houdini. I Know some might find that I am over reacting but no I'm not. I'm just being realistic....
A. 2 June 2013: thank you, I love this article particularly the points towards the end that you say we should repeat to ourselves. its true, too many people nowadays sell themselves short and I am guilty of having done the same in the past. (Im 24 now) I know ... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant b/f cheated, he lied until the girl sent the video of them having sex!
Q. I am 8 months pregnant and just found out my boy friend cheated, he said it was a mistake and he's so sorry but I don't know what to do, I want to be with him but I dont at the same time! The worst part is she filmed it and sent it to me, he ...
A. 2 June 2013: there is nothing you can do except to leave him. he is a loser and once a cheater always a cheater. this is terrible timing for you but you deserve better.... (read in full...)
I'm not having sex till I get married. Why do so many friends criticise me for this?
Q. I'm a girl, at university and I've decided I'm not having sex till I get married. I'm Christian, but that's actually not the reason why - I'm really liberal and fully in support of gay marriage/pro-choice etc. It's because sex means a lot to me ...
A. 2 June 2013: I think anyone who criticises your choices is not a true friend and I admire you for doing this. I wish I had waited longer before having sex, just remember you can regret having sex with someone but you can NEVER regret not having sex!
they ... (read in full...)
I cant deal with this! My ex got married within 6 months of breaking up with me
Q. I am in intense emotional pain right now. I found out today that my ex got engaged and married within six months of breaking up with me. I was still pining over him and he moved on with no issue. He never informed me directly. I found out quit...
A. 2 June 2013: my ex did something very similar after treating me like crap he treats his new woman like a queen. it is very hurtful but you any anyone in your situation needs to remember if he was worthy of you and your time he wouldnt have done this. yes ... (read in full...)
The light switch relationship--now she's pregnant with someone else's baby and I don't want kids!
Q. ok so. i got this on again off again relationship for about the last couple years. shes 20 im 23. seems every time we have a drink together we end up in the sack together. shes always telling me im the sweetest guy she knows. and stuff like that. i ...
A. 31 May 2013: you sound like a caring and very reasonable person. to be honest you have been good to this girl, you talked her mom out of kicking her out and you have been there for her, not using her but really been there for her. its sad that she got pregnant ... (read in full...)
Weekend's with my boyfriend's children leave me feeling like a slave
Q. Hi Hope you can help me. I am 33 years old. I have been with my partner (not married) for 2 years. He has 2 kids whom I love to bits and I don't have any, but my fella does want more with me. When my boyfriend was in his late teens, ...
A. 28 May 2013: you have got some great answers here but I have to say it sounds like you are doing too much. keep on saving that money for a deposit but dont even think of spending it on a house with him for the time being. he really is taking you for granted and ... (read in full...)
My ex's gf is driving a wedge between my kids and their dad. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid Im writing this through rage and tears... Me and my ex broke up 3 years ago, we have two amazing children together, He has moved on and has a child with another girl, their relationship is rocky most of the time, My ex has a bad Alc...
A. 28 May 2013: hello, I have read your question and the replies so far and it sounds like you are doing a brilliant job (not being patronising but many people would be bitter, you sound far from it) I think the both of them have been taking you for a ride to be... (read in full...)
How to get out of a abusive relationship???
Q. Ok how to get out of a abusive relationship??? I gotta take it slow he aint gonna let me leave without a fight. And I need to learn how to pay bills myself and all that and live alone with my peaceful kitties. And I gotta wait til I get money. Hope ...
A. 26 May 2013: you dont give many details about whether you have family or friends, but if you do please get their help with this one. once you have a place to go to that is safe, you need to pick a time when he will be out for a few hours and get your stuff ... (read in full...)
My wife got pregnant by her lover and had a secret abortion!
Q. This is difficult but I will just say it. My wife had an affair with a person I considered my friend and got pregnant. She made arrangements with her lover (also married) and had a secret abortion one year ago. We have been married for 6 years and ...
A. 24 May 2013: if I were you one question would enter my mind straightaway, and Im not trying to make things worse for you by writing this. how did she know for sure it was his baby, or did she even know? the other posters have given great answers but this was not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend pointed out a larger girl to me and said if I ever got that fat he would dump me!
Q. I am 27 and have been with my boyfriend for just under 4 years. At the weekend we were on a night out and he pointed out a woman on the dancefloor who was probably a UK size 14/16 and he told me if I ever get as fat as that he will dump me! Now this ...
A. 23 May 2013: I think you are slim for your height, and that even if this wasnt the case it wouldnt make a difference for a big reason. he is shallow and if you love someone you should love them regardless of their size. this is what I wanted to add to the ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone with so many tattoos? Or would you fear it would ruin your reputation?
Q. Today while on lunch break a friend said to me, very openly and out loud, "did you see all the tattoos on that guy's face? He must have been to prison!" I quietly nodded then thought of something... I was very attracted to another friend who had m...
A. 20 May 2013: tattoos are upto the person, one of my closest friends has 11 and she is respectable and a very decent and honest person. she also has had several piercings, and taken them out over time, she gets tired of the negative attention this attracts but ... (read in full...)
My only problem with him is his parents!
Q. Let me start by saying my partner and I are 27 and 28. We have pretty much the perfect relationship. We never argue, fight, lie or hide anything from eachother. We are so happy together. We have had problems in the past from outside influences but ...
A. 19 May 2013: ''Got Issues'' and ''No Nonsense Aidan'' have summed this up in one. you are lucky to be away from them and they are being unfair. you just cant please some people and they sound like they will always find fault with something. if your partner is an ... (read in full...)
My ex is trying to change, should I get back together with him? How do I tell my mom?
Q. I broke up with my fiancé in late January this year. I loved and still do love him dearly. I left him because I was unhappy about many things about how he chose to live his life. he chose to hang out with loser drug addicts and got himself ...
A. 19 May 2013: ''he says now without me it's hard to change knowing that he won't have me back at the end of his transformation''
sorry but this is the most important part of what you wrote. he is using your lack of contact as an excuse for not improvin... (read in full...)
At the moment, I am not ready for a threesome to happen in our relationship. My Bf would like it to happen. How long into a relationship before agreeing to it?
Q. Hi, Ok I would love some fair and informative advice here on my boyfriend wanting to have a FFM threesome. We have been going out with each other for 8 months and moved in together three months ago. At the beginning of the relationship he...
A. 18 May 2013: agree with Got Issues' post... (read in full...)
Is what she told me about birth control pills for her true?
Q. Me and my fiance were talking about birth control one day and i asked her why doesn't she start taking the pill.She told me that she went to a doctor about it and they said that because of her size (she is close to 100lb over weight) that all it ...
A. 16 May 2013: the combined pill (most pills are combined) will work fine, the progesterone only pill will not work well in women over 70kg. I am 97kg and I have been taking the combined pill for almost 8 years... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's drink was spiked and the woman he woke up with now says she is pregnant!
Q. Help me, please. My boyfriend of a year just told me that about a month ago, he went to this girl's house to help her with her abusive ex. He didn't have a way home, so he sat down and she asked him if he wanted anything to drink. I guess it was ...
A. 13 May 2013: dump him. he is making a fool of you... (read in full...)
How can I make my ex realize what he lost?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, we were together for 2 years. I've just moved into a new place a few days ago and he is still living with my brother and another friend of his. I had been unhappy for months with him and asked him to come to ...
A. 12 May 2013: to answer the title:
you can only do this by moving on as much as possible with your life and making yourself happy. he is not worth your time as if he was he would try to win you back. sorry if I sound a bit harsh, I sympathise however as I am g... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to white men. I'd like to date them but not sure how to approach them
Q. i have recently found myself attracted to white men and not only am i a black woman i live in the bible belt of the united states....tennessee. I have no idea how this happened...i am not saying i am not atrracted to other fellow black men ..it is ...
A. 10 May 2013: Im a white woman but I will try to help.I think you should strike up conversations with the men, about everyday things and many white men like women with a butt so dont let this put you off. good luck :)... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is going to spend Mother's Day with his ex and his daughter
Q. My boyfriend has a daughter with his ex, and usually he got to see his daughter after he finished class like around 9pm. Recently his ex decided that 9pm is too late to come see her (even though on the days she works, she's ok with him watching her ...
A. 10 May 2013: I can see why you're pissed, its not like they are going to the playground or park with the child or even taking her to pick out a toy from the store. I think he is out of order and why are they going in the evening to the cinema anyway??... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and my parents are strict. I want to get birth control but if I do my parents will judge me. What should I do?
Q. Okay I'm 18, and with having strict parents i sometimes feel like they don't understand me. Ever since i started dating my boyfriend i feel like he is the only one here for me. We have been together for almost a year now and we have started ...
A. 26 April 2013: no offense but it sounds as thought you could do with reading up on contraception so if I were you I would get myself to planned parenthood and while there ask for some booklets on contraception. please sort your contraception out before you get ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to have a baby with another woman. He's says I'm making this out to be a big deal. Am I over-reacting like he says?
Q. Im 20 years old and have 2 kids. My oldest is 4 and she is from a past relationship. Im now married and we just had our son in February. Recently my husband has been talking about having a baby of his own with another woman. I thought he was k...
A. 26 April 2013: I think this boy is not mature enough to be a parent or step parent.... (read in full...)
Does my Muslim boyfriend love me or is he using me?
Q. I am a catholic woman and have been seeing my muslim boyfirend for over a year now,i am very happy with him,he is originally from Yemen but from the age of ten had lived in cuba, he has been in britain for nearly 4 yrs now, he is still waiting to ...
A. 23 April 2013: of course hes using you! why would you be interested in a married man anyways? he is bringing them to live here as a FAMILY, not being mean but you are just a plaything to a man like this. you deserve better, and that ''marriage'' is not real in any ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have a relationship without having sex?
Q. I'm a 24 year old guy. I met this girl, who's a couple of years younger than me, about a year ago. She's verbally impaired (mute, I don't like to call her by this name). We have been very good friends. I don't mind her disability at all. She's ve...
A. 17 April 2013: hello, I congratulate you on not discriminating against this lady because of a disability.
not trying to label you, but have you looked up the term ''asexual'' ? does this describe you? obviously you dont need to share this but you might look it ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and need to get married quickly! How can I tell my Muslim family?
Q. Hi everyone, I have been with my bf for 4 years and now and I'm pregnant and we are planning to get married asap but my family don't know abut my pregnancy and they keep on delaying everything. I come from a muslim background and my bf has conver...
A. 17 April 2013: Im not sure of my advice will be helpful but is there a way you could possibly tell them that you are in love with your boyfriend and that you simply really want to get married soon? or like someone else suggested, is there someone you could trust ... (read in full...)
Should I try to support my friend or just leave her alone?
Q. Okay, I know this is a relationship type of site, but I just really wanted advice for my problem. My best friend X (girl) started going out with Y (guy) about 2 or 3 years ago, and they were a pretty hot couple. I was happy for her, but ever...
A. 5 April 2013: I think your concern for her is genuine and not unfounded. she has basically thrown her life away for this guy and getting pregnant in high school was never going to be a smart move. I would try to keep in touch with her if I were you, she will ... (read in full...)
He should be more concerned with whether I'm pregnant than with getting drunk
Q. Should i leave my boyfriend?. My boyfriend told me last night that he come over today while i did a pregnancy test. He text me earlier today, asking if i was going to have the baby, and i said yes. He also said that he would come over at 1.00pm, but ...
A. 28 March 2013: forget him for now. focus on finding out whether you are pregnant or not, as he will be a deadbeat in any case... (read in full...)
Will my husband be able to tell that I'm not a virgin?
Q. I had sex once before 5 years....i never had sex after that...will my husband know if am a virgin?.......
A. 25 March 2013: forget 2 posters who told you to tell him, you dont need to as there is no definite way to know if someone is a virgin. he will not be able to tell and it will be better not to tell him. kind regards... (read in full...)
It's either arranged marriage for me or cutting ties with my family. What to do?
Q. Hi everyone, I come from a traditional indian family as many of you know the rules here are set on stone and you can't dream of changing it! I'm a hopeless romantic and someday want to be loved and 'in love'..I never really had a real relationshi...
A. 25 March 2013: you could try telling your mother that you want to be established in your career before marrying? or that you want to have some money saved up for when you marry? this will give you more time and hopefully, more freedom. good luck.... (read in full...)
I told my boyfriend I don't have money for an Ipad, then he stopped talking to me.
Q. Dear cupid My bf of 3 years is asking me to buy him new iPad for his birthday, I don't have that kind of money and I cannot afford it. He never bought me anything for my b'day and I never really made an issue out of it. I told him I cannot ...
A. 24 March 2013: you should know what to do already..... dump him and find someone worthy of you. he bought you nothing but EXPECTS a gift? come on!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a baby and I already have 2. If he spends time with my kids will he get over this?
Q. We have been together for 9 months and now my boyfriend has confessed that he wants a baby. Problem is, I already have 2, and have no inclination to have any more. My kids love him to bits. We don't live together, but do u think if he spent more ...
A. 10 March 2013: 6 weeks is not long enough for him to make up his mind. I dont agree what the previous poster said, that a stepfather is someone who isnt bothered whether they have kids or not. a step parent has a very hard job to do really. but it is too early for ... (read in full...)
My depressed Bf is shutting everyone out, including me. What are the best ways to support him?
Q. My boyfriend has been having issues choosing his major for months. It's taken its toll on him and he did go to the psychiatrist four days ago and was diagnosed depression- he was subsequently put on xanax for anxiety and prozac last Wednesda...
A. 10 March 2013: hello, I think its lovely that you care enough to ask for advice about this situation. I too suffer from depression and I can tell you that antidepressants such as the prozac often lower libido. it will take a while for the medication to kick in, ... (read in full...)
My grandma invited him and he didn't show up. Now he's angry that she didn't invite him this time. He got sarcastic. Does he even have the right to be mad?.
Q. Yesterday I casually told my boyfriend that today I was going to lunch at my grandma's place. He asked me why, so I told him she was going to cook one of my favorite dishes, so she had invited me. His answer: "Well, thank your grandma for th...
A. 10 March 2013: I agree with janniepeg, her advice is always spot on. he has no right to be mad, your grandma is understandably hurt and possibly insulted that he didnt turn up last time when he said he would.... (read in full...)
He's younger and a playboy. He flirts with me. And disrespects me. He has a Gf. And maybe he has made another girl pregnant. Should I tell his Gf?
Q. Me and this young Guy work together and he is 21 and I am over 10 yrs older than him. I really like him but he sends me mix signals sometimes. I checked out his girlfriend who oworks at the same place we work, but different sections. Ever...
A. 10 March 2013: you deserve better and so does she. whether you tell her or not is your own business, you seem like a smart woman who isnt into playing games, unlike this guy who clearly is playing games with you. I know it hurts you that he makes you feel like ... (read in full...)
I love him. So why accuse me of cheating? Is he cheating? He has become controlling. Gave me no sympathy when I lost our baby.
Q. Okay my boyfriend and I started dating last June 2012. He was in California and I was from Maryland so like a long distance relationship. I already saw him though back when were 12 years old. I took a vacation in the Philippines, and since then h...
A. 10 March 2013: its hard but you need to get rid of him because you cant trust him after this. you will never be able to forget this or forgive him (not blaming you of course) good luck... (read in full...)
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