| Latest articles: Are you in a controlling relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
3 April 2009: i decided to write this article in view of the amount of people that I know/know of who are in unuqual relationships, that is in particular women who are in unequal relationships. Im not sating that it doesnt happen to men, of course, but often it ...
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Is it really my call to pull my alcoholic boyfriend out of rehab?
Q. I need some help and guidance here because I don't know what i am doing or if im doing the right thing anymore. Right ---- so my boyfriend of six months has entered a rehab program for alcohol addiction and due to problems inside there (some guy ...
A. 7 October 2014: You shouldn't have bailed him out before and you shouldn't have now. Sorry, but he is incapable of having a relationship until HE sorts himself out. I know you mean well but he is in the best place for now and he could be just saying all this in ... (read in full...)
I feel like I want to move on and get over the guilt and try things with the new guy! Should I?
Q. Hi there! Well I'm not sure if I am just going through a phase or is this serious because I am talking with someone for well over a year now. I am not in college right now but I was planning on to but things changed.So for orientation day ...
A. 23 September 2014: I think you should go for it, and while doing so get to know him better as a friend and as a person. Hang out together, go to the movies or for a coffee somewhere, and see if you will be compatible.good luck :)... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is always breaking his promises to me
Q. So my boyfriend and I are expecting our first child together at the end of next month. I've had a hard preganncy and am currently on early maternity leave my doctor ordered because I am at risk of going into labor preterm. It hasn't even been a week ...
A. 23 September 2014: You have been given some good advice, but I can understand how it is maddening that your boyfriend cant even spend some time with out or have a conversation. After all, this is a huge deal for you both! Your first child (and his), what else could or ... (read in full...)
How do I get around an exotic dancer's emotional barrier?
Q. Sorry this is a pathetic request for advice because I am just so lost in this relationship. I met this amazing woman through my kids. She is just a few years younger than me but looks 20 years younger (yes I am that old!). Even up close she...
A. 20 September 2014: Are you sure she is an exotic dancer? Are you sure she isnt doing some job that isnt so risque, but perhaps a humble job that shes ashamed of? I would simply get to know her better, ask her out on dates, without mentioning the job issue at the ... (read in full...)
I'm over my ex, but I feel emotional about his new baby with another woman
Q. Hi I will try to condense a long complex story .I split with my sons dad three and a half years ago .it was a painful and messy split .we had a very intense 5 years together where we were either deeply in love of fighting. We were over the moon when ...
A. 20 September 2014: It is normal that you are emotional or even upset when you learn that someone who you spent a few years with, has has a baby with someone new. Of course you two have a son together so it is normal that you feel something as this is your sons half ... (read in full...)
Am I too much of an oppressing person? Am I asking too much?
Q. Been married for 14 now first 10 were great, seems like I was living in a dream, but I had to wake up when he started getting aggressive, crazy, spacing out, staying out for long or wanting me to go for a few days with my family; my son 6then comes ...
A. 11 September 2014: You have got some good advice here. I would say prepare yourself to leave and to live without him. He is blaming you for his own faults, and you are so used to taking his abuse that you believe that it is your fault. Really you would be better off ... (read in full...)
I think he's using me -- should I end it?
Q. So I've been seeing this guy for a year now and he has been unemployed for 8months. He has a visa stay in Italy but he can't find a job cause is hard there. I live in the UK and I've been sending him money and visiting him. But now I'...
A. 9 September 2014: "how should I end it?"
just stop all contact and stop sending any money. He cant come over there so there is nothing he can do. He is using you and you can find a better guy of any nationality in the uk. Im sorry you got caught up in this situ... (read in full...)
Do I break up with him or tell him the truth about the affair I had with his father and ruin things for his family?
Q. Ok so before you read this I know what I did was wrong and deeply regret it and it's all a big mess. Four years ago I was in a really bad place. I had fallen out with my parents and moved out of home in to a grotty flat which I had to work 3 jobs...
A. 8 September 2014: Firstly, Im not going to judge you at all since we all make mistakes and we are all a lot wiser in hindsight than we were at the time. In my opinion it seems an awful shame to ruin what has been a great relationship seeing as this happened a ... (read in full...)
We both kept up the pretence that we were asleep. Our bodies touched. Could he be gay too? Should I say something or not?
Q. Ok, I'm sure that this message sounds way to obvious however its been consuming my thoughts for the last week. I'm a 21 closeted gay dude btw. I work in a supermarket, most of the staff go for a few drinks after work on a Saturday night so it was ...
A. 1 September 2014: I would advise you not to bring it up in conversation at all. Just act like nothing happened, and perhaps say hello to him and engage in small talk sometimes. You need to be absolutely 100% sure that he feels the same as it could be awkward if he ... (read in full...)
I suffer from terrible adult acne and its really affecting my self-esteem.
Q. Hi Aunts. It his isn't a love question as such but it does relate to my low self esteem, . I have suffered with acne for ten plus years of my life. It's always had a huge impact on my confidence and I've often skipped going out or seeing people ...
A. 6 August 2014: I feel really bad for you because I did suffer with acne for a few years although not for as long as you have had. Have you seen a dermatologist? I was referred to one and he put me on yasmin and it cleared it up. He also prescribed differin for it. ... (read in full...)
Why do men prefer it shaved?
Q. My question might sound simple but why do so many men seem to like shaved vulva as opposed to a natural hairy one ? I found that the man I am with says he finds it much sexier and several men have said this before . I prefer to go natural as I get ...
A. 6 August 2014: Try getting a bikini trimmer in the suprmarket, wilkinson sword make one and it is just like an aelectric razor. About £8 in the uk, you wont get any shaving rash like with a razor and it requires no shaving foam... (read in full...)
I need ideas for a vegetarian meal for our upcoming party
Q. Definitely not a relationship question but sometimes help and inspiration come from the most unlikely sources.... One of the hobby groups I'm in has an annual "long weekend away" shindig (party) which is coming up in about 3 weeks. Everybody...
A. 6 August 2014: I think the idea of a vegetable curry is brilliant, or even use a jar of korma or curry sauce. Made with diced peppers, onions, carrots, mushrooms and pineapple if its curry, and serve with either noodles or rice. It is the simplest dish I can think ... (read in full...)
I feel a stab of pain because all my firsts wont be his firsts!
Q. This might sounds a trivial problem or I might sound ridiculously jealous to some people but I could really do with honest advice from people on how to deal with my feelings. Im in my first relationship with someone that already has a child...
A. 25 July 2013: I dont think you are being selfish because if you were then you would not have written in here.
I would feel the same in your situation which is why I have chosen to date only childless men.
2 of my exes lied to me about not having kids and ... (read in full...)
His ex wife still lives with him
Q. my boyfriends ex wife is still living in the house.she pays no rent and does not contribute to purchasing groceries or paying housing expenses. she is always using his money on her personal entertainment. Instead of being grateful she is always bitc...
A. 25 July 2013: why are you dating a person who is living with his ''ex wife''? how do you know that they arent together? how do you know he isnt lying to you? Im not trying to burst your bubble but this is an extremely suspicious situation... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been meeting up with his homewrecker ex and has lied about it
Q. Sorry this could be long. What are people's opinions on this? I've been with my current partner for just under a year. We were friends for 3 years before we got together. One of my very best friends is my first boyfriend who I broke up with 10...
A. 21 July 2013: dump him, he wanted more from her and you deserve better... (read in full...)
Would you date a guy with a background like mine?
Q. Hi, I'm a 26 year old guy and I've never been in a relationship. I'm going to give an explanation as of why. In my teens I was essentially very shy and insecure and so didn't really dare to approach girls that I liked. When I was 19 I started to ...
A. 21 July 2013: hello,
I think you are a caring sensitive person who has been through a lot and anyone who is worth your time wont judge you for your past, none of which was your fault.
I think it is better to be a virgin until later like you, than to be someo... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because he thinks I gave him a STD
Q. ok ,,, i've been dating a guy for nine years , we were on and off , but recently we have broken up , bec we think i have STD , at least he thinks i caught it and gave it to him ,coming from my country , such is a disgrace , so i can't go to see ...
A. 21 July 2013: hello,
sorry for your situation. you cant have a STD unless you caught it from him. do you have any symptoms? any itching or burning feeling? I know that your culture forbids sex before marriage but your health is really important and worrying... (read in full...)
Went on a trip with my LDR and now he doesn't call
Q. Dear Cupid I am in LDR with my bf of 3 years for the past 6 months. We went for a trip few days back and had a very nice time. Few times he was cranky, but otherwise trip was a success. Its been a week, he hasnt called me once or returned by me...
A. 18 July 2013: sound slike he could be married or else is living with a woman, sorry... (read in full...)
Why am I not convinced that he loves me?
Q. I just got engaged a month ago- my fiancée keeps telling me how much he loves me. Do whatever I want him to do, treat me so well and put me pretty much first to everything. I wasn't crazy about him at first but I leaned to love him as well as the ...
A. 15 July 2013: I feel that maybe you feel subconsciously that you dont deserve a man like this, or that you fear that he will turn out to be ''too good to be true''.
he sounds like a great guy, loving and genuine. perhaps making a list of what you like and disl... (read in full...)
How to win a mind game( push/pull game) at work place?
Q. Hi. I am wondering if someone could tell me how to win a mind game ( push/ pull game) a coworker guy is playing on me? Is there really any way to win this game as a girl. Thanks for all the help. ...
A. 13 July 2013: I like YouWish's answer here. you need to forget about this loser and get on with your job. work is hard enough without adding these mindgames to the mix... (read in full...)
He sent me a critique of our night together!
Q. Dear Cupid, Okay this is embarrassing.. I started to see a guy, very smart, kind and fun to be around. Last night was the 1st we had sex. I am a bit shy by nature but quite open minded sexually. Anyway the sex I thought was quite good, and when I...
A. 8 July 2013: what a loser, move on and find someone worthwhile and mature... (read in full...)
Girlfriend knew she had STD and still had unprotected sex with me. I found out from seeing her medication!
Q. I found out about a week ago that my live in GF has an STD. She did not tell me, I found out. I found medication that she's taking, that she never told me about. I did confront her. Naturally a fight ensued, and the house is tense now. My quest...
A. 7 July 2013: Im sorry that you have had this experience. she is a disgusting excuse for a woman and her likes give us all a bad name. it sounds as though you are living together, which means you have been together for awhile and so this STD is evidence she has ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that I slept with his father for sex?
Q. This may sound like something off Jerry Springer, but I've been in a sexual relationship with a guy on and off for 3 years. He's very attractive, a lean, skinny, tall, hippie, mixed with Captain Morgan , James Franco looking pot head with Mick ...
A. 6 July 2013: no there really is no need or benefit to telling him. in fact it could quite possibly worsen his addictions. the best thing is to move on with your life and better yourself as much as possible. well done on going to school, it couldnt have been easy ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to not want to spend a night in the same room with her and her mate?
Q. Hi, I need some opinions on my situation. My friend invited me to go away with her and her daughter for her daughters birthday (she was 7) and we'd also be joined by her partner - who I've only met twice before. She said she would pay for m...
A. 3 July 2013: I dont think you were wrong, she should have explained what room she booked before you ever embarked on this trip and a lot of people would have felt similarly uncomfortable. ... (read in full...)
My friend wants me to fail at being a mum
Q. My closest friend has a 2 and half yr old daughter. I wasnt there for her as much as I would like to have been because I had a bike accident a week after she had the baby and couldnt get out and about for a good 3-4 months, but I did visit as often ...
A. 3 July 2013: I agree with all the answers here. it sounds like she has a sad boring life if Im honest, and she quite possibly is jealous of you. I would keep her at a long distance and consider cutting contact. it doesnt sound like you are struggling, but even ... (read in full...)
How can I look out for my foster son?
Q. I fostered a child three years ago, and the child is now 6. He was abandoned by his parents when he was a baby. I got him before I got married. Am now married and my husband has had a hard time accepting the boy. He is just plain cold towards him, ...
A. 2 July 2013: it sounds like your husband controls all that happens in your house and while this might be normal in your culture, you sound intelligent enough to know that it isnt right. I think this reveals a lot about your marriage, your husband should b... (read in full...)
How can I look out for my foster son?
Q. I fostered a child three years ago, and the child is now 6. He was abandoned by his parents when he was a baby. I got him before I got married. Am now married and my husband has had a hard time accepting the boy. He is just plain cold towards him, ...
A. 30 June 2013: maverick 494 has got it in one with their answer. the nanny is capable of mistreating all of your kids since she mistreats one. get rid of her immediately. your husband needs a stern talking to, he knew you had your son with you when he met you and ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that if I leave him he will hurt me or come looking for me!
Q. Need advice .... Been with this dude for 6 years and is has been HELL ... The reason I'm still in this situation is because he's abusive physically mentally and verbally and I have been scared for my life cause he threatens to kill himself and ...
A. 29 June 2013: get out of there as soon as.... you need to be reunited with your children and this loser is not worth your time... (read in full...)
Why did my ex send me a photo of him and his new girl?
Q. So my ex boyfriend and I haven't talked since we broke up. He has nerve to send me a picture of him and his new girl. I'm not going to lie, it did break me. I was getting over him and I'm happy for him but why would he do that? ... I need help:-(...
A. 27 June 2013: dont be upset and try not to miss him. if you werent such a good thing in his life he generally wouldnt feel the need to do this, and as Maria B says he is basically reporting to you. Im not sure his ''new girl'' would be best pleased if she knew he ... (read in full...)
This feels like a part-time relationship, help!
Q. Okay, haven't been on here in a while, but I need help. It's the same guy- he has a drinking problem and in the past had a drug issue that we've finally hurdled over two years ago (been together going on four). Basically, we break up ALL THE TIME. ...
A. 27 June 2013: if u break up all the time, and end up going to going to ur moms house then it is a chaotic way to live for all of you. I would say dump him, move on and be happy with someone else or alone.... either way u need to get out of this soul destroying ... (read in full...)
He gave me chlamydia and wasn't upfront with me about it. Is withholding information the same as lying?
Q. I'm 3 months pregnant and through the series of required blood tests, I tested positive for chlamydia. Totally shocked, I told my bf what the doc said and asked if there was anything he needed to tell me (I tested negative at my last visit in ...
A. 27 June 2013: I will summarise it as you got some great answers already:
hes an immature selfish idiot
he is not sorry
he is not honest
all cheaters cheat again
I am sorry but I wish you luck.... (read in full...)
My friend is jealous of my pregnancy. This is the 2nd time its happened. How should I approach this?
Q. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, It was planned and am very happy. The problem is my "friend". I had my first child in 2011 and when I told her (call her sue) she stopped talking to me. She was jealous as she had been trying with her partner since they got ...
A. 25 June 2013: I think your friend is being immature. I would understand her reaction if she had been trying to get pregnant for years, but since she successfully had a child already & seems to be similar age to you, wheres the problem? I would stay friendly with ... (read in full...)
Single Mom, please help - why is my daughter behaving like this?
Q. I am a single mom... I have a daughter who is 13 yrs of age. For the past year her behavior has been really unusal. She walks around the house with a robe all of the time...And its like 80 something degrees, it seems she uses this robe as a clutch s...
A. 23 June 2013: hello :)
you got some great answers here but I hope I can help too.
I am 24 and I was exactly the same at your daughters age, til I reached 15 & a half. in fact I used to dress in mens clothes a lot of the time, I never plucked my eyebrows or ... (read in full...)
Do I really need all this Baby Mama drama? What can I do about this situation?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months. I'm in a baby mama drama situation, and I'm not sure how to handle it... Please help. I'll give some background... He and the mother of his child were never married. Their relationship was r...
A. 17 June 2013: I will keep this short & blunt:
your relationship will never progress as long as he is spending the weekends with his ex.
there is no reason for him not to meet the child elsewhere & take the child somewhere.
you dont know what the relati... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refriended his ex. Do I believe the reason he gave me?
Q. So boyfriend refriended his ex on Facebook a couple of months after unfriending her because I had asked him to. I had insecurities about her even though they broke up about two years ago. He says it was weird that he unfriended her in the first ...
A. 17 June 2013: my opinion is much the same as YpuWish, I dont see why they would still be friends on facebook if they have really moved on. my thoughts would be ''why, are they going to look at each others pages & why would you even want to do that with an ex?''
... (read in full...)
No physical attraction?
Q. Can a relationship work if you get on well with a person but don't have much physical attraction?...
A. 15 June 2013: I have read the previous answers and felt I had to give an opinion here. I personally think it depends on the person, women in general can overlook the fact that their companion/partner is not very aesthetically pleasing (read good looking)
this ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I'm a chubby chaser? I don't want them to get thin!
Q. please help i want alot of opinions hopefully professional opinions, heres my question- i love dating plus size women over 300lbs but heres the thing, if a plus size woman wants to lose weight all the attraction is over and the relationship is ...
A. 14 June 2013: I am a plus size woman (215 pounds but would like to lose 50) dont think it is wrong as we all have preferences when it comes to the opposite gender (or whichever gender we are attracted to)
as long as you dont try to tell the woman to gain wei... (read in full...)
How can I convince my ex that it was he who drove me away?
Q. My ex boyfriend split up with me six weeks ago he said he wanted a break. My and my ex used to argue a lot over him going out really. He has also cheated on me a few months ago so I feel like I can't really trust him. After my ex split with me ...
A. 14 June 2013: why would you want this guy?? you know he cheated on you while you were still together, therefore he can do it again if you were back together. he sounds like a loser & you need to distance yourself mentally & physically from him. stop contact & ... (read in full...)
How do I stop from being obsessed with wanting to have a baby?
Q. I have been married to my lovely hubby for a year. We met in our 40's and it is our first marriage for us both. As soon as we married, we started trying for a family which we both dearly want. As I am 42 now - I have been seeing the doctor and f...
A. 12 June 2013: you're welcome, Im glad you have read it and hope it helps. I also forgot to mention my friends mum was 46 when she gave birth to her last child (my friends brother) also a healthy child and this is in Ireland where we have a lower rate of IVF... (read in full...)
How do I stop from being obsessed with wanting to have a baby?
Q. I have been married to my lovely hubby for a year. We met in our 40's and it is our first marriage for us both. As soon as we married, we started trying for a family which we both dearly want. As I am 42 now - I have been seeing the doctor and f...
A. 12 June 2013: actually it is quite possible for you to have a child! my grandmother was almost 44 when my mother was born & my mother was 42 almost 43 when I was born (perfectly healthy)
good luck & hope you get your much wanted child... (read in full...)
Is the amount I'm paying to live with him reasonable?
Q. Ok I live with my boyfriend and id like to know your opinion on the matter of money. We both work for the same company just different departments therefore we both get paid on Fridays. So every Friday I have a standing order of £75 which goes i...
A. 8 June 2013: of course you are being taken for a ride. he is basically using your money to pay off HIS loan when he has said your name wont be going on the mortgage/flat. this indicates he doesnt see a long term future with you and you definitely need to change ... (read in full...)
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