| Latest articles: Are you in a controlling relationship?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
3 April 2009: i decided to write this article in view of the amount of people that I know/know of who are in unuqual relationships, that is in particular women who are in unequal relationships. Im not sating that it doesnt happen to men, of course, but often it ...
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Why does he need a pin on his iPhone and why is it such a secret? What are your thoughts?
Q. Hi im just wondering what everybodys view are on their Partners phones? my bf and I have had a few up and downs over the last two years but recently there has been an issue since he got his iphone. Basically he has a pin block on it, which he say...
A. 16 August 2012: I agree the most with So Very Confused, they have summed it up for me. talk to him about it, Im having the same trouble right now except my boyfriend just has a normal phone. if they had nothing to hide, they would give it to the girlfriend. end of, ... (read in full...)
Should I be upset about planning an abortion?
Q. I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. I'm going to have an abortion. I don't feel guilty about it at all, in fact im actually happy about it. Shouldnt I be crying?...
A. 15 August 2012: not everyone is the same, in fact most people feel a sense of relief after the actual abortion although this feeling might be more shortlived for some than it is for others. what I do suggest regardless of your feelings is that you get coun... (read in full...)
Can a woman be impregnated by precum?
Q. hello just wanted to get a few opinions on my situation...I slept with both my bf of 3 years and some other guy around the time i got pregnant. just to be clear i hooked up with the other when i was single and we didnt use a condom he also said he ...
A. 13 August 2012: yes you can get pregnant from precum, my schoolmate got pregnant from the ''withdrawal method'' the second time she did it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was going down on me when I got my periods!! Do you think he was really put off by that?
Q. Last night my new boyfreind and I were having sex and half way through I went to the bathroom,to find myself covered in blood.I hadnt realised I was due for my period..It was even on my face.We had the lights off and unfortunatly he had been going ...
A. 12 August 2012: dont worry, these things do happen although they are mortifying. a few years ago me and my ex woke up on christmas morning to find me lying with the bedsheet around me destroyed with blood (my period had come back in the night when I thought it had ... (read in full...)
People think I'm to thin, Advice needed please!
Q. hi i am 22 years old n am very thin 41kg being 1.60 meters here is the problem everybody in my country loves a girl with big ass. Am really tired of everyone asking me why am i so thin? So please help me out. how can i be the boutiltious girl? I ...
A. 12 August 2012: some people are naturally thin, I naturally gain weight easily and I wish it was as simple as me being able to give you some of my 90kg !!! (Im 172cm and 90kg is too much for me) however if you dont feel comfortable with yourself then I would advise ... (read in full...)
Ladies why date a man first if he asks you to marry him right away?
Q. This question is especially for young single women. If a young single man who has everything going for him financially and career wise decides to settle down and approaches you but doesn't want to date you but asks you to marry him. Would you ...
A. 12 August 2012: well if hes a foreigner as in someone who would need a visa, then he could want to marry you for papers. that is just one angle of the possibilities of course. but if he is such a good catch why would he make himself seem so desperate? remember if ... (read in full...)
I don't know who the father is, should I terminate or give it up for adoption?
Q. Heya, i just found out I'm pregant but I dont know who the father is, I went to butlins about four weeks ago and I sleet with 3 boys, ( I didn't know them or talk any numbers or anything) a week later I slept with two more boys, ( I know these b...
A. 12 August 2012: some really good answers on here. I would say get some counselling before and after the abortion, it will help you no end. just remember you are doing your best to make a good decision and it is great that you are thinking this out well. none of the ... (read in full...)
Am I a rebound? Is my boyfriend just using me to make his pregnant ex jealous?
Q. Well thank you for reading. Here it goes short version. I met a guy 3 days after his relationship ended. He has known her for 11 years, dated off and on. Now she is pregnant and broke up with him and we started dating three days after. He te...
A. 8 August 2012: did you post this question also? there are details which are the exact same http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-could-he-just-abandon-someone-he-has.html... (read in full...)
How could he just abandon someone he has been through everything with? What was he thinking!
Q. Ok here it goes and please no rude comments really looking for a solution not to be bullied. I have known my ex for 11 years. He was my best friend and the guy I always ran to for help. We did date a few years ago but went are seperate ways bu...
A. 8 August 2012: Im just wondering did you post this too? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-a-rebound-is-my-boyfriend-just.html... (read in full...)
Should I tell him he Isn't the father and risk losing him or keep it from him?
Q. Ok I hope this doesen't sound too shallow...I recently got pregnant with an ex who is a complete and utter ass as well as verbally abusive to me. Shortly after the break-up my best friend introduced me to a friend of her's who is the sweetest most ...
A. 8 August 2012: its this type of deceit which gives all women a bad name. the best thing you could do is be honest, or if you can do it have an abortion, honestly it might be for the best. its not fair to deceive a man in this way. I understand your situation is ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my 12 year old daughters friend?
Q. It's not love question, but something that's really troubling me, and it seems like there is no way out of this situation. My daughter is 12. She has a best friend for the past 6 years, a girl that they used to go to school with. The fact is th...
A. 8 August 2012: I think she is probably a highly intelligent girl who probably is used to talking with adults aswell as children. the best way is to firmly but politely tell her that she should talk to her mum about it. and if she asks is her mum normal to ask her ... (read in full...)
Ex is going to take all of his money out of the bank so I can't get any support money! Can he do this?
Q. Hi everyone. I have a son with my ex partner of 5 years, we have been split for 5 months, he rarely see's our two year old son, I have applied for csa and they said I get £260 per month from him which they are taking out of his bank on the 9th ...
A. 6 August 2012: hi. the advice the previous 2 readers have given you is great. I have nothing useful to add, just that I want to say do not give up as from reading your previous question it sounds as though you really are suffering because of his selfish actions. ... (read in full...)
Is it enough to want a divorce because my husband won't be intimate with me?
Q. Is it enough to want a divorce because my husband won't be intimate with me? It has been this way throughout our 25 years of marriage. He is a wonderful man and every one loves him, my friends, family, our two 20 something children. He would do ...
A. 6 August 2012: yes it is and it is also an acceptable reason for annullment of marriage.... (read in full...)
I have an urgent desire for a baby but it's not the right time!
Q. I have a question for people who are going through, or have been through, what I am feeling right now. Up until a few months ago, I was pretty much anti kids. My husband and I discussed kids before we got married and agreed it was something th...
A. 5 August 2012: I was expecting to read about some 17 year old wanting a kid, (I dont mean that in a bad way) so it is nice to read that someone is being mature about this and is thinking this through even when you are married. I think the suggestion about ... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me emotionally and I want him "marked" with a tatoo of my name!
Q. I'm 5 months pregnant now, and I've recently found out that at the beginning of the relationship my boyfriend had been mentally cheating, still in love with his ex, planning on going back to her and leaving me. Never found out if he cheated ...
A. 5 August 2012: I think you both got into this too quickly in particular the getting pregnant bit. him getting or not getting a tattoo isnt going to change anything, the best thing you could do is talk to him and tell him how he has hurt you and how you feel ... (read in full...)
How do I help my girlfriend with her self-esteem problem?
Q. Hi agony aunts, I never know how to start these so I think I'll just go right into the problem. My girlfriend seems to have a self-esteem problem when it comes to being my girlfriend and doing the right thing for me and for us. It's starting to...
A. 2 August 2012: dont give up on her, Im sure she is s good person and you are an awesome guy for seeing her for the person she is and not what her parents have tried to create her to be. counselling/therapy will be the best option, it will help her no end. good ... (read in full...)
She lost the baby and she is crying and very upset. How do I comfort and support her?
Q. When we found out she was pregnant, it was a shock, she was excited but i was not so keen as i didn't ever see myself having kids. I got used to the idea and got excited and we went to look at baby clothes on the weekend and we had our first 12...
A. 2 August 2012: also, if you two have sex make sure you use a condom regardless of her saying shes on the pill etc. a person is fertile the most after a pregnancy or miscarriage and some women take advantage of this time to try to replace the child they lost. ... (read in full...)
Do I show my friend the proof that her boyfriend is cheating on her or not?
Q. I am in a bit of a hard situation here. I have a male friend, and I recently found out that he is on a swinger site, and is meeting random people for sex. Now what he does is his business and normally I couldn't care less, except he has a ...
A. 2 August 2012: its alright for people to say you should mind your own business etc but I would tell your friend as she could catch a disease off him, anyway its not fair for her to be wasting time on such a loser its a disgusting thing to do behind his ... (read in full...)
I don't know who the father is, should I terminate or give it up for adoption?
Q. Heya, i just found out I'm pregant but I dont know who the father is, I went to butlins about four weeks ago and I sleet with 3 boys, ( I didn't know them or talk any numbers or anything) a week later I slept with two more boys, ( I know these b...
A. 2 August 2012: then Im afraid either it is abortion or keeping it, so talk it over with a counsellor. as you are under 25 Brook would be the best place to go. good luck... (read in full...)
She lost the baby and she is crying and very upset. How do I comfort and support her?
Q. When we found out she was pregnant, it was a shock, she was excited but i was not so keen as i didn't ever see myself having kids. I got used to the idea and got excited and we went to look at baby clothes on the weekend and we had our first 12...
A. 31 July 2012: sorry to hear, I hope you are not feeling guilty for initially not feeling ready for this. neither of you have done anything wrong and there is no way you could have stopped this. it is a sad occurrance of nature. unfortunately around 30% of ... (read in full...)
Dad will disinherit me if I marry my guy. Is my Dad just being paranoid about my Fiance? Or does he have a point?
Q. Hi! Last night I told my estranged father I'm getting married in the Fall. He threw a fit and said if I do he will disinherit me and we won't talk anymore. When I asked him why he said that if we got divorced I'd have to support him financially ...
A. 31 July 2012: see it from both sides of the fence, but whatever you do dont cut yourself off from your dad over this. my brother didnt speak to our father for over 6 years before he died and he has some amount of guilt for not getting to say goodbye and for not ... (read in full...)
In order to be with him I've been lying to my family.
Q. hi im 18 and my boyfriend is 35. i have not.told.my.parents yet as they do not like the idea of age diffrrences when.it comes to relationships. ive never been with an.older man before so when my parents found out for the first time they freake...
A. 31 July 2012: I think Aunty Bimbim has a particularly good answer, before you tell your parents anything you need to explore this subject with them by asking ''why didnt you feel X was not right for me? I am just curious.'' it might be that they see a serious ... (read in full...)
Do posters on Dear Cupid frame their questions in a way that would lead to them getting answers which they unknowingly want?
Q. This isn't a question about myself, it's about all of us in general who post questions here on dearcupid. I think it's an odd set up because, like with any agony aunt site, the only information the answerer has to go on lies with the questioner, and ...
A. 30 July 2012: I think it is possible, not all posters would do it obviously but a certain amount definitely. because we tend to do that when we tell a story too, dont we?... (read in full...)
My parents did not accept the man I did like. Will I never find the right man?
Q. Hi.i am 29 yrs old female from India.my older sis in 33 yes old she got married when she was 27 to ths guy she liked.mu family loved their family and they r happy together so everything worked out good for her.i started dating a guy 4 yrs back tht ...
A. 30 July 2012: I think you should talk to your parents and tell them how you feel, have you gone to a marriage broker? Indian ladies look young for their age so it cant be that you look old. I know there is so much pressure on you to get married but you could ask ... (read in full...)
Do guys make girls pass "tests" to see if they are worth dating?
Q. Do guys make girls pass "tests" to see if they are worth dating or whatever? The guy I like was dumped when his girlfriend went to college because she wanted to have freedom to date whoever. He hasn't dated anyone since, just had a bunch of random ...
A. 29 July 2012: no guy who is genuinely interested in a girl would make her do any kind of ''test''... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has suddenly up and left me for an unemployed drug addict
Q. My boyfriend of just over a year has finished with me for someone else. The woman he has left me for is a drug addict and alcoholic, has had her 3 children taken into care, is dirty, rude, violent, and unemployed living in an extremely run down and ...
A. 29 July 2012: all I can say is although it doesnt feel like it, you had a lucky escape. it sounds as though he could have been experimenting with more drugs than you thought. good luck, you deserve better x... (read in full...)
I don't know who the father is, should I terminate or give it up for adoption?
Q. Heya, i just found out I'm pregant but I dont know who the father is, I went to butlins about four weeks ago and I sleet with 3 boys, ( I didn't know them or talk any numbers or anything) a week later I slept with two more boys, ( I know these b...
A. 29 July 2012: you are thinking this out well which is good. I would advise you get some pregnancy counselling from somewhere non judgemental like Brook Advisory Service who can help you and also point you in the right direction. also after this unfortunate ... (read in full...)
Why is it because I'm fat I'm all of a sudden not good enough?
Q. Ok so Im having a little bit of a problem here. Im over-weight, reason is medical but nonetheless I am. I have long red hair, my eyes change between blue, green and grey on a daily basis and Im only 5’1. My boyfriend is 6’1, slim, dark bleh. ...
A. 25 July 2012: if people judge you because of your weight, it is their loss not yours Im afraid. Im a size 16, partially medical reasons and partial the fact that I have a sweet tooth, and I understand to some extent at least what you go through. I was heavier ... (read in full...)
I had sex the day before ovulating, does that mean I could be pregnant?
Q. Hey. I'm new to this site. I need help. I know my body very well and I've done tests to see when I ovulate and it just so happens that I had sex a day before ovulating and that's the day you are most likely to fall pregnant? So, we did the deed and...
A. 25 July 2012: you could have taken the morning after pill. it is never a good idea to have unprotected sex unless and until you and your husband/boyfriend both know that you want and are fully ready for a baby. you are young, this could end badly if you are ... (read in full...)
I am upset that I am being criticized for my parenting!
Q. My daughter is about to be a year old next week and does not walk nor try to. She just crawls and she goes to the furniture and stands up on it. She was born 2 months premature and her doctor always said that some things she might do a little bit ...
A. 25 July 2012: I was not premature and my Mom says I walked after 16 months, and that was with a LOT of ''encouragement''. (still hate walking haha) you have the right attitude and I think that is a great thing as people especially younger mums seem to be more ... (read in full...)
My husband financially supports his ex girlfriend, is at her beck and call; ultimatum or just leave?
Q. My husband sold his whole duplex to his ex girlfriend, even though she hardly ever paid her rent to him for her side when we lived in the other. She's constantly calling needing something, and he jumps, sometimes making me do things for her, too. ...
A. 23 July 2012: forget the ultimatum, just leave already and dont waste any more of your time on this loser. he is not worth it! its beyond disrespectful what he is doing.... (read in full...)
Is he bragging or telling the truth about my Mother?
Q. ok, some advice please. i'm 19 yo male currently at home for summer from uni. At home is my mum who is single and divorced and my younger brother 15. Last night we had a party at the house for my mums 46th birthday. About 25 people came and it w...
A. 23 July 2012: I can understand you being upset and angry but this guy had no right to tell your friend that whether its true or not.if he was mature he would see why you would find it embarrassing. do you think you could confront your mum and say there are these ... (read in full...)
Chief bridesmaid but I feel fat. How do I get over my confidence crisis before the wedding?
Q. I'm having a crisis of confidence at the moment. I'm chief bridesmaid at my sister's wedding in a few months and am so excited about it. I've been dieting really hard and have lost a stone but I still look so fat. The thought of the photos etc is ...
A. 23 July 2012: keep exercising and watch what you eat. well done for losing a stone. and if it is not already arranged for the wedding practise using a light fake tan, a subtle tan will make you look slimmer. I always use it for nights out and parties. good luck ... (read in full...)
How to tell if women are interested in a married man?
Q. I am moving away from my wife due to work for 6 months. She realizes that as a type of a male I am, it will be hard to abstain from the natural urge of sex. So she told me that if I really need to have sex I can do so as long as it does not turn...
A. 23 July 2012: whatever you do, dont lie about having a wife. there is nothing more sickening and soul destroying than finding out a man you have wasted time on is married. it is a huge blow to most womens self esteem. dont do that to someone just because sex is ... (read in full...)
Guys, would you be disappointed to know that the girl you're dating had hair loss and wears a wig? Any ladies out there who have gone through this?
Q. This is a question for guys mainly (or for any girls in my situation or who have been in my situation). I have androgenetic alopecia, I'm 23, so I feel I'm too young for this! :( Anyway, for those who don't know, it means I'm losing my hair. ...
A. 23 July 2012: I have suffered from androgenetic alopecia since I was 13, and now I am 23. the dermatologist also says my hormones brought on by puberty have accelerated it and like you I have the hair loss in some places (mainly the front of the head especially ... (read in full...)
My fiance lied and never told me his ex had been pregnant
Q. I am 7 weeks pregnant, living with my fiance who I have been with for 3 years but only lived with for the last 2 and half years. When we found out we were pregnant my fiance was beyond excited...I on the other hand am a ball of mixed emotions. Last ...
A. 23 July 2012: yes you have a right to know, I would be livid if I were you and lying about a STI is disgusting... (read in full...)
Do you get turned on by tickling?
Q. I have liked tickling for as long as I can remember. I find it fun and love tickling girls, especially on their feet. Does anybody enjoy tickling or being tickled? And to make the discussion even more interesting, does anyone get turned on by it? I ...
A. 17 July 2012: I am very ticklish, I love being tickled especially my neck and top of chest (part near near neck) and feet. sometimes it feels too much but I still enjoy being tickled, occasionally if I am lucky my (very clever) cat will tickle my neck with her ... (read in full...)
Am I taking the birth control pills the right way?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have had sex and always made sure that we used a condom. I always felt bad for leaving it up to him to make sure that we were protected and felt that the pressure of making sure of that was shared so ...
A. 16 July 2012: I think you should ask your doctor about the combined pill, the mini pill is not as effective (97% with consistent correct use) and you will have regular predictable periods with the combined pill also.... (read in full...)
Is this relationship worth all the pressure he is putting on me to have a baby and move in with his parents?
Q. Here is my story. My bf and I are in a slump and a lot of crap has happened between us and now I'm being pressured by him. I feel super lost right now. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 2 1/2 years and before all the trouble began, we had ...
A. 14 July 2012: dont even think about having a baby with him, this isnt about a baby or your unwillingness to have one, it is about him and his many shortcomings as a boyfriend. you deserve better, and he must know that deep down too as he is pressurising you to ... (read in full...)
His ex can do no wrong, and me and our baby are stuck in the one room with AC while I' get continually criticized!
Q. I have been needing some outside advice about this situation for some time. This is a bit long, so thank you for bearing with me. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, and we have a 6 month old daughter together. The main problem...
A. 13 July 2012: omg get yourself and the baby out asap!!! I know you are married but if nothing else you need to make a stand, prove to him that you can and will leave him if he doesnt get his s**t together. that is ridiculous. calling the baby names is just wrong. ... (read in full...)
Besides condoms are there any other precautions we can take to avoid pregnancy?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 4 months now and I would really like to take my relationship to the next level and have sex with him. I am not on any form of birth control, we have a condom. but is that enough? I'm scared something...
A. 10 July 2012: go get the pill or else some other hormonal contraception from the doctor... condoms are not great for pregnancy prevention to be honest... (read in full...)
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