Like what
she writes?
... Add *earkelja to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *earkelja a private message | | | *earkelja's profile:This site has been a wonderful experience for me. I hope that I have helped some of you in some small way.
I'll be back from time to time to help where I can. My focus for now is to get my life back to good. Thank you to those of you who have helped me along my journey. Your help, love and guidance have made me strong.
Be good all of you! |
|
He told me in front of his friends he could do better than me and that our relationship is over.
Q. I need some advice. I am aware I need to leave this relationship but I need input on how and whether it's really something I should do. I hae a 2 1/2 year old son who considers my boyfriend his "dad" bc he's been there since he was 2 weeks old. Last ...
A. 4 July 2012: I mean BondGirl72 (sorry!)... (read in full...)
He told me in front of his friends he could do better than me and that our relationship is over.
Q. I need some advice. I am aware I need to leave this relationship but I need input on how and whether it's really something I should do. I hae a 2 1/2 year old son who considers my boyfriend his "dad" bc he's been there since he was 2 weeks old. Last ...
A. 4 July 2012: I agree with Bondchick72, he is being emotionally abusive to you. Now you are second guessing your reasoning for leaving because you are getting scared perhaps of moving on or changing the situation. You will be the sole parent for your young ... (read in full...)
He told me in front of his friends he could do better than me and that our relationship is over.
Q. I need some advice. I am aware I need to leave this relationship but I need input on how and whether it's really something I should do. I hae a 2 1/2 year old son who considers my boyfriend his "dad" bc he's been there since he was 2 weeks old. Last ...
A. 1 July 2012: I agree with all the other posters who said to leave. Leave as fast as you can.
I want to add that he WILL say he is sorry and he will beg you to stay. I guarantee he will NOT change and very shortly after he has softened you up he will be right... (read in full...)
There is nothing left between us but her abuse ....
Q. I have been in a relationship for over twenty years and we have three children, the youngest is eight. My partner is financially dependent on me, yet she treats me appallingly. It is no exaggeration to say that everything she says to me is critical ...
A. 1 July 2012: You really aren't doing your children any favors by showing them a broken relationship where there is abuse. Unless you stop this (end the relationship) and show them that it is wrong (actions speak louder than words) they will go on to have abusive ... (read in full...)
It felt like things were getting back to normal ... but they weren't!
Q. Hello Everybody, Don't know if this is the right place for this, but here goes... I am now 33 years of age and I was with my long term partner for 9 years. Our relationship, I thought, was good. It had its ups and downs like any relation...
A. 30 June 2012: I hope you are not still paying on the house and that the mortgage isn't in your name. If it is, you should take care of this legally and get yourself out from under that mess. If the house is in only your name, move them both out and sell the ... (read in full...)
It felt like things were getting back to normal ... but they weren't!
Q. Hello Everybody, Don't know if this is the right place for this, but here goes... I am now 33 years of age and I was with my long term partner for 9 years. Our relationship, I thought, was good. It had its ups and downs like any relation...
A. 30 June 2012: Hi there,
To answer your overriding question, there is nothing wrong with you. You are going through a second grieving process.
Everything you did was pretty much by the book for any advice giver. Your father died and that is an extremely pe... (read in full...)
How do I let go of a sex only relationship of 4 years?
Q. hi I have been involved with this man for four years with no committment and he sees other women.There is no respet and the relationship is not going anywhere, just sex. How do I let go of the relationship without constantly going back....
A. 24 June 2012: Make a list of every negative thing this relationship does for you. Read it over and over and over.
Get a friend to give you courage and to keep you on the straight and narrow.
Then put on your sneakers one shoe at a time.
Then step out t... (read in full...)
New boyfriend admitted he can't get an erection because of my weight and I'm devastated....Help!?
Q. I have an incredible new boyfriend I really like, but he has trouble getting and keeping an erection, and the reason is.....my weight. We are incredibly drawn to each other on so many levels- intellectually, emotionally, etc. He says he finds my ...
A. 23 June 2012: When a guy has ED the woman is always the one who feels unattractive and undesirable...regardless of what is said or who or what the guy blames "his" issue on. Our self esteem plummets because we can't get our heads around the fact the ED is a ... (read in full...)
He smokes weed, is jobless and homeless but there's no denying the sexual tension! What next?
Q. I kept seeing this guy who I thought was cute but he had sketchy lookin friends and im sure he is usually high. Today we some how started talking and i gave him my number, then he walked me to the train station. He told me that he smokes weed and i ...
A. 23 June 2012: I wouldn't worry that he has your phone number. He isn't in a place to have a relationship and he likely knows it and probably will not call.
Don't pursue him either. He has noting to give to a relationship at this time.... (read in full...)
I would have a good life with the first guy but feel unfulfilled sexually and I would have a good life with the second but feel so guilty and upset about the first
Q. I need some help - and quickly. I am engaged to someone I have lived with for 12 years. He is a good and honest man who I love, but he is like my brother. We are both the same age and we are looking to buy our second house and start a family b...
A. 23 June 2012: Best of luck to you. You have waited a long time to make this decision. All this time you have been unfair to guy number one. But you realize that and are feeling guilty.
I hope it all works out.... (read in full...)
I need some advice on how to help my bf understand that I am still a horny young woman, not just a baby carrying machine!
Q. Hey, I need some advice on how to help my bf understand that I am still a horny young woman, not just a baby carrying machine! We've been together 20 months, and our sex life is usually great. The rest of our relationship is great too, we're...
A. 13 May 2012: You said in your post that he is more excited than you about being a parent. I think what is going on here is that he is totally wrapped up in being a father and you might be feeling a little resentful of his "seemingly" lost feelings for you. ... (read in full...)
How can someone say that they are only for you, but they really aren't?
Q. I have been seeing someone off and on for almost a year. We get along great most of the time, except when it comes to whether we are "in a relationship, BF/GF or not", etc; and we decided several months ago that we were not BF/GF, just not a good ...
A. 30 March 2012: Hello,
I am glad that you are ending things. You deserve more respect than he is giving you. You're just convenient and he is too selfish to see that it's not working for you.
So very glad you are moving on. All the best.... (read in full...)
How can someone say that they are only for you, but they really aren't?
Q. I have been seeing someone off and on for almost a year. We get along great most of the time, except when it comes to whether we are "in a relationship, BF/GF or not", etc; and we decided several months ago that we were not BF/GF, just not a good ...
A. 27 March 2012: My personal opinion is that he is using you for oral sex. Does he give you any sexual pleasure? Does he give you anything at all like cooking dinner, taking you out or rubbing your feet or is the relationship all about filling his needs. Ask ... (read in full...)
At 21, all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers"
Q. Ive gotten to a point where no women is good enough for me to date. At 21 all of the good looking women are taken and all that's left are "leftovers". I feel I owe it to myself to find the best the world has to offer and I haven't seen it in ...
A. 10 March 2012: I think at your young age you are missing something in the relationship game. Where are you looking for these perfect women? I happen to have a bright, talented, beautiful young daughter who is 20. She has many friends who are similar. None are in ... (read in full...)
We have a son together, but she hides me from everyone! She wouldn't even let me sign the birth certificate!
Q. Hi people, I'm not from on English speaking country so I hope this is still readable. For the last 8 years I have been in a relationship with a woman who hides me from her friends and family. I do see her brother or sister sometimes but I wonder i...
A. 7 March 2012: Hi there. I am sorry for your pain. No-one can answer why she does what she does. One thing I am not certain of is the cultural differences you might have in your country. Is it wrong to have a child outside of marriage? Could there be shame ... (read in full...)
Do I try and forget him and move on once he's gone? Or do I stay in contact with him, and if yes, how often?
Q. Hello everyone, I have been in a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship for 1yr 4 months (we both live in the same town. In the begining I thought we were both moving towards a committed relationship, but I soon realised that it was just me ...
A. 4 March 2012: Hello,
The key word wordlywise used was HOPE. For over a year you have been hoping the relationship would change, that he would want the committed relationship you have been in alone all along. Sometimes when a FWB begins, it works into more but ... (read in full...)
He has the ring. When will he find the right moment? Should I wait?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years this June. We have a great relationship and have lived together for the past 2 years. I trust him and he has never given me a reason not to. We are very close and are best friends and lovers. 2 1/2 years ago ...
A. 2 March 2012: Your guy is commitment phobic. It's not really about you, it's about him. Now that you are living together, there really isn't a "push" for him to get married. He's 38 and by now, in no hurry. At one time, getting married was a priority for him, ... (read in full...)
He has the ring. When will he find the right moment? Should I wait?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years this June. We have a great relationship and have lived together for the past 2 years. I trust him and he has never given me a reason not to. We are very close and are best friends and lovers. 2 1/2 years ago ...
A. 26 February 2012: I am wondering if there is more going on that what he says. From your post, it appears that he 'moved the ring' from the original place. Why did he do this?
Is the ring a family ring or a new ring? Is the ring something you picked out or c... (read in full...)
What is the reason why guys send texts, but then disappear when you reply?
Q. There are 3 guys that text me every now and then. I have been on dates with all of them (over a span of time). One of them I like a lot, we have been much more flirty with each other and he asked me on another date but it's not even set in stone. ...
A. 1 February 2012: Texting is not really communicating. If the guy was interested, he'd call you and have a conversation with you or call you to ask you out. Here are the translations for texting...
"Hey, what have you been up to?" means..haven't heard from you... (read in full...)
Told my married man who was deciding between me and his wife that I wasn't playing second fiddle, not sure I did the right thing!
Q. i have been working with this married man for 4 years everyone at work including him has told me that he really liked me, i asked hes best friend to tell him to leave me alone,as i knew he was married as the years went on we became really good ...
A. 7 January 2012: Actually, I think you did the right thing. Unfortunately, you had some liquid courage and now you are rethinking with more clarity. It isn't fair that he is leaving you (and his wife) in the lurch like this. What do you really want? Have you ... (read in full...)
Our friendship is slowly going downhill.
Q. This girl and I have worked together for a little over a year. I never really talked to her much until around July. We seemed to hit it off and we would hang out every lunch and break. I found out she had a boyfriend and I was fine with that. We ...
A. 2 January 2012: She is not being fair. In this case, I believe that she has used you to her advantage. I don't think she even intended to be in a respectful relationship with you. She sort of led you on to fill her needs. These needs would be companionship, ... (read in full...)
Just found out he has another FWB. Should I break up or continue with the little comfort he provides?
Q. I just found out my friend with benefits, over 1.5 years now, has another fwb for a year going. It hurt and i felt used because i thought what we had was special. I am 40 and dont feel there are many options for me, and have settled for less. no...
A. 24 December 2011: OK...40 is young. All the others have given you sound advice. There is always someone for everyone and while you hang out hiding in this FWB relationship, you are missing so many opportunities to meet someone who could matter and be that special ... (read in full...)
Why does she want to get in touch with me after calling it off? Does she regret what she has done and does she still love me deep down?
Q. Hi There, I need some advice as I'm not sure what to do, I have used this site in the past and it has helped me a lot so I have come back for some more help :) I was engaged to get married and 3 weeks ago my partner told me out of the blue she doe...
A. 24 December 2011: Holidays are making her feel lonely and nostalgic for what she had but things will never work.
I agree with the others that you need a no contact period of time so you can move on, as she already has.
Merry Christmas.... (read in full...)
He's on a 'am I hot or not' site and it's really hurt me..
Q. I have asked and been given some really good advice from this site before so I am hoping again you can help me. I have been with my partner over 2 years, this year we have had a bit of a rough patch, but things have been great recently,or so I ...
A. 24 December 2011: I don't think you're over reacting. When someone is checking out sites to tell women they are hot, it's an indication that he's not 100% committed to the relationship. It is a form of cheating. It's the first step away from the relationship and ... (read in full...)
Online date turned out to be internet scammer! Any advice on how to deal with this pls??
Q. Hi. This is a question for Military wives and women who have met men clainming to be US Army personnel. A few months ago I met a lovely man on a dating site. We got talking and he told me he was on his third tour of Afghanistan and his MOS was ...
A. 18 December 2011: what you need to realize is that he "wasn't so nice". He was pretending to be someone he was not. The bond or connection you had was not with him, it was with someone he created for the sole purpose to "snag you (your money)."
It's hard for you ... (read in full...)
Guy is drunk texting me at 3am... I like him...Should I go?
Q. So I have a crush on this guy who also happens to be my coworker and its apparent he likes me back. And recently he started drunk texting me to come over at 3am so I can keep him company. We've only been talking a few weeks, so I ended up telling ...
A. 18 December 2011: I agree. Nope, you should not have gone. He will respect you more for not going.
Also, you should have a chat with him (or text him) and tell him that when he is drunk at 3am to text someone else.
... (read in full...)
I feel so alone... Any ideas on how to make my life more meaningful and happy??
Q. Hi everyone. I hope you can help me please. I feel so alone and I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm a 33 year old guy, I got into a relationship when I was 21 and that lasted until just 2 years ago. I have never been the social type...
A. 18 December 2011: Hi there,
Holiday time is really, really tough on single folks. I am sorry for your pain. The way out of your pain is to force yourself to be more social.
You say you are intelligent, you must have some hobbies that you like and that you are... (read in full...)
Online date turned out to be internet scammer! Any advice on how to deal with this pls??
Q. Hi. This is a question for Military wives and women who have met men clainming to be US Army personnel. A few months ago I met a lovely man on a dating site. We got talking and he told me he was on his third tour of Afghanistan and his MOS was ...
A. 18 December 2011: I am sorry you had to go through this. A sort of similar thing happened to me. But I was apprehensive all along so I never did build the bond that you two did. (Well one of you did.) In my case, the guy's dating site information didn't match. ... (read in full...)
After an act of kindness, do you think my friend finally realizes what he lost?
Q. was at a works xmas do last night and a guy i was brilliant friends with came along our friendship ended because i discovered he had lied to me a lot and i was such a decent friend to him helping him whenever he was in need ranging from work help to ...
A. 17 December 2011: A leopard doesn't change his spots. I think this guy probably is thankful that you gave him the money to drink but he will never realize your kindness for what it is. For him, you are (and I am sorry) a patsy who will be there to catch him when he ... (read in full...)
He has promised history won't repeat itself, but it is already!
Q. I am 43,very very un-happily married and have been suffering due to lack of true love since 1987 i.e. from the age of 19.....I met this guy on the internet about a year back who is 25 years old.....He asked me to be his Lady Valentine on the eve of ...
A. 29 October 2011: I agree with the others, cut him off. Get off the on-line game and try to make something of your own life. You stated you are unhappily married. Why don't you end the marriage and really put yourself out there to find the love that you deserve?
... (read in full...)
I don't want to date her anymore. How do I get her to move out of my life?
Q. I have spent 9 months with this lady and now wana dump her . Well she hasn’t done anything wrong neither me but I have to dump her as I find someone else more attractive than her. She is my 8th girlfriends and I think there is nothing wrong ke...
A. 24 October 2011: I think if you show her your post she wont want to be with you anymore.
Seriously, the truth is always the best. Thank her for being a part of your life and tell her that you have found someone else. Finding someone new is part of the game. T... (read in full...)
Is this even worth it anymore?
Q. Hi everyone and thank you for your help! My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. Started off nice as all relationships usually do. He was sweet, listened to me, complimentive, and very caring. He still has many of those traits but there...
A. 21 October 2011: The fact that you are here seeking our advice means you have already questioned the relationship to the point where you are considering that it might not be worth it.
This guy has a deep insecurity problem and it won't stop, it will only get wors... (read in full...)
He is just too big, but I love him, how can I please him?
Q. I won’t be shy, I’ve been around the block more than a few times and never have I come across anything like this. I met this totally great guy last year. He was friendly and we got talking. We’ve been dating for the last 9 months or so now. But when...
A. 16 October 2011: He sounds like a very caring man. I think you please him very much or he wouldn't be bringing you breakfast in bed, etc. There are so many ways to please him and if you guys keep talking, and keep working it, things will improve.
I was in a sim... (read in full...)
B/f took my virginity and now I don't hear from him. Was sex all he wanted?
Q. I,ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly four months now and last weekend we had sex for the first time! Wel it was my first time as i was a virgin. Since then he hasn't really texted me much except for wedensday night where he asked me away for the ...
A. 16 October 2011: It could be that he is feeling guilty or awkward. I would say that would be the better explanation than he just wanted sex. Are you feeling guilty or awkward? If you are it could be that he is sensing that in your communications.
If you've d... (read in full...)
After we had sex he wrote me off, now I'm going to see him again. How do I act?
Q. So, my best guy friend introduced me to his cousin we txted for a couple of days, we then met had sex and in the morning he kissed me goodbye and disappeared. I texted him thinking he might txt me back but he never did.... We then saw eachother ...
A. 16 October 2011: You say you have a deep connection with him but I am wondering if you are confusing this "connection" with the fact that he "rejected" you after the two of you had a physical relationship. Now it puts you in the chasing mode and for you, all you ... (read in full...)
What went wrong here? How did things change so suddenly?
Q. Hello to anyone who reads this. I have heard this is a good site for advice so here goes... Met someone and hit off big time. Always recieving texts and asking to meet them. Saw each other everyday and spent most nights at their house. Met f...
A. 19 September 2011: I have been in this situation. While you made him very happy and the relationship seems to be working out, he hits a wall with the anniversary.
This past time of his life was very painful and he doesn't seem to be able to get past it. I am sure ... (read in full...)
Attempts at online dating are hurting my self-esteem. Advice, please.
Q. I am newly single after a long-term relationship (19 years) ended and now back in the dating game. I have never been the most sought after guy at the party, but I've attracted attention of women in my time. I don't have classic good looks, but ...
A. 11 September 2011: Hello,
Sorry you are feeling low right now. I have been off and on in the on-line dating game so I know exactly how you feel. I agree with the other posters that you do have to become somewhat "comfortable" with rejection. It does hurt to see peop... (read in full...)
I would have a good life with the first guy but feel unfulfilled sexually and I would have a good life with the second but feel so guilty and upset about the first
Q. I need some help - and quickly. I am engaged to someone I have lived with for 12 years. He is a good and honest man who I love, but he is like my brother. We are both the same age and we are looking to buy our second house and start a family b...
A. 21 August 2011: You were with the first guy when your heart found a reason to seek another outside the relationship. For me, there was a reason for that, you were unsatisfied.
If you choose the first guy and leave the 2nd guy, you might find yourself down the... (read in full...)
I'm dating a guy who says he doesn't think he'll ever get over his ex
Q. im 17, ive been dating this guy for almost 2 months. ive liked him for 3 years before he finally asked me out. things are going good and all. but theres a bit of a problem. in our freshmen year of high school he dated a girl for 3 months. he was ...
A. 8 August 2011: He is making you feel insecure about your relationship. The best thing to do is to forget about it and give the relationship the best shot you have. I'll bet he'll forget about her soon enough.... (read in full...)
Husband wants a divorce, saying he's not sure if he ever loved me!
Q. Married 23yrs and have 2 children 20,21 husband got in shape and gain self confidence he looks real hot, now came to me on Monday and said he wants a divorce.I had said i wanted a divorce last yr to him because I wanted him to wake up, on our 22 ...
A. 7 August 2011: It sounds like this is something he has been thinking about for a long time. IE: his wishes are well thought out and he didn't want to hurt you unless he was sure. Now he's sure.
He love you but he is NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU. The mid-life crisis i... (read in full...)
I made it clear to him that a threesome will not happen...and he got angry! Advice?
Q. OMG, I can't belive what has just happened, here's the deal... Me and my bf have had a few drinks, but we're not drunk. He made a joke in town about taking this girl home with us. We have a lot of dirty sex and we talk about other people in our sexu...
A. 7 August 2011: Do not do something with him that you will regret later. It could be he is feeling left out that you had a threesome and he has not.
So march yourself down the road, you give him what he wants, a threesome. You don't care to ever have them aga... (read in full...)
When is the right age to have sex?
Q. dear readers.. this is a sex question. everyone has different opinions on the right age to have sex right? it all depends on your values as a person, ie religion, gender, family, friends, boyfriend, etc.. just what ever makes you, you. so i ...
A. 7 August 2011: When you are best friends with the person and you have formed a loving bond and both of you agree and have discussed the ramifications about what you are embarking on.
If you can not talk to your partner about sex-then the answer is "no sex for ... (read in full...)
| *earkelja's friends
These are mutual friends, so *earkelja has
added them and they have added *earkelja!
|
