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... Send *eagan a private message | | | *eagan's profile:I wonder what it was like before everyone had the internet- how did girls get advice without having to confide in her parents? How did husband get advice without having to receive biased opinions from mutual friends?
Back before the internet, here were your options:
-Friends and family
-Your women or men's magazine
-The weekly Ask Amy column in the newspaper
-A school counselor
-Encyclopedia
-Talk shows
Here was the problem. You were receiving advice from single, subjective source.
The beauty here is you can receive advice from multiple people of different gender, ethnicity and experience.
I know the internet is something to fear, but it can also be beautiful.
It's Pandoras Box. Sure, bad things surface from the internet, i.e. stalking, cyberbullying, procrastination, etc, however think of the HOPE you receive from it. You can see that there are people out there genuinely trying to give good advice. You're able to learn new recipes for your spouse with just a click of the mouse. Seeing pictures of different countries can inspire you to actually go. |
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I'm crushed and confused! She's hung up on her ex but in love with me?
Q. Me and my ex started our relationship both extremely crushed by our ex's before. We were a support group for each other where we could express ourselves freely and get support from each other and advice. That grew into a relationship and I fell ...
A. 8 May 2012: Best of luck to you!... (read in full...)
My problem is right now that there is no spark left in our relationship and I'm not sure if we should be together anymore.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years next month. My problem is right now that there is no spark left in our relationship and I'm not sure if we should be together anymore. Even though I want things to keep working between us I don't ...
A. 8 May 2012: I agree with the first post, a break might be in order here. You should not have to feel like you are settling down at the age of 21. Besides, if you are already feeling like you're missing out on things and "will never know anything else," imagine ... (read in full...)
I'm crushed and confused! She's hung up on her ex but in love with me?
Q. Me and my ex started our relationship both extremely crushed by our ex's before. We were a support group for each other where we could express ourselves freely and get support from each other and advice. That grew into a relationship and I fell ...
A. 8 May 2012: The two of you being together is not healthy. She is going to need a long time to heal from this, and she is obviously not ready to be with someone else. She needs to continue with group, family and friend support, but not any sort of romantic ... (read in full...)
Did I scare him off? Read him wrong? What do I do?
Q. Ok there is this guy I think he's shy but how do I really know?? Ok we are roommates and I always could feel a connection when he was around he would make eye contact the body language made me think he was interested. So after a while of all that I ...
A. 8 May 2012: I think he isn't saying nor doing anything about it because you two are roommates. He's probably being very practical. Besides, the smile he gave me might not necessarily mean he likes you back, but rather it means he is flattered. You should take ... (read in full...)
I suspect my husband is gay or bisexual
Q. hi dear cupid. i just got married last year november and I found a text that he send to his friend, guy friend. it says" hide behind the blanket and take a photo" and when I ask him he said he don't know and he forget what does mean? So from th...
A. 8 May 2012: I don't think your suspicions prove that your husband can be bisexual or gay. I think you're over-analyzing the situations that you mention.
Instead of focusing on the relationship between him and his friend, think about your relationship with him... (read in full...)
My friend is not making a move on me because I am still married. What do I do?
Q. I am so stuck. I am separated but not yet divorced. Me and this man have become good friends and I know he feels the same but he has not made any moves because I am still married. I have not loved my husband for a long time and am ready to move...
A. 20 April 2012: I think he is being smart and guarding himself. I think you answered this for yourself, he is not starting anything with you because he doesn't know or trust if you will truly separate or go through the divorce. He might feel like you are the type ... (read in full...)
How can I get over her? She only sees me as a friend!
Q. Lets call me J and her M. Weve been friends for 11 years, weve known each other since grade school. Iv had feelings for her since high school, I told her this before and she told me she didnt want to ruin out friendship, because I mean so much to ...
A. 20 April 2012: I think you're right, cutting her completely off from your life might be the best way to go to get over her. You're not being selfish by doing that, you have to look out for what's best for you. See how it goes.
Best of luck. ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of feeling like guys just want me for sex. Should I take a virginity pledge?
Q. I've never slept with anyone before (or even had a boyfriend); I'm currently in my first year at uni and a lot of my friends are sleeping around and such or in relationships. I was considering getting a boyfriend because I feel really inexperie...
A. 20 April 2012: If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. Don't feel pressured into something because everybody else is doing it. I'm glad to hear you want to focus on your studies, I wish more girls thought like that!
While I think taking a virginity pledge i... (read in full...)
I don't know how to help my friend any more. Her mood swings are making me sad. What should I do?
Q. I have this good friend of mine, who has these incredible mood swings and she is bitchy and makes me feel real bad sometimes...no idea why I am friends with her anyway She is moving at the end of the month, but she is really testing my pati...
A. 20 April 2012: Is it possible she is very stressed out and sad that she is moving away at the end of the month and she's unfortunately taking it out on you? That's what you mean by "her last days" right? That she's moving and going to a completely new school where ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my boyfriend because of his nosey aunt?
Q. My question is do I break up with him because I really can't stand his aunt? I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. I have decided to move in with him for 3 months while he does his internship out of state. My boyfriend's aunt...
A. 20 April 2012: Why would you be thinking about breaking up with your boyfriend over an aunt you see 8 times a year?... (read in full...)
We split up 2 years ago. How do I get over him? It's getting harder not easier.
Q. my ex boyfriend and I split up for 2 years now, I know what you're probably thinking 'you're only a teenager', but I still find myself crying myself to sleep most nights thinking about him. I really try my hardest not to think about him but its ...
A. 20 April 2012: You are around the age where you are about to start college- I would suggest going to one that is a distance away from where you live. A fresh, new beginning might just be the thing you need.
Otherwise, I strongly suggest you start seeing a... (read in full...)
I cum within 30 seconds of g/f touching me
Q. 24 male. I recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend, it was by choice I decided to wait.... Well now I have a problem. I can't last long at all. I mean to the point where at first I would end up blowing my load in my jeans from her grindin...
A. 20 April 2012: There are over-the-counter products that can help decrease sensitivity.
Also, try masturbating a few hours prior to sex, it might make you last longer.
Otherwise, go slow and easy and gentle.
This is still new to you, so eventually you w... (read in full...)
Should I give up and try to move as well? or do I wait
Q. my ex and i have been broke up for a month and 2 days after being together 17 months. we do have a 9 month old daughter. if you read my last post it talks about everything. but ill try and make this short as possible. i stopped texting him comp...
A. 19 April 2012: I do not know of your previous posts on here but...
Do not wait for him. Give up and just remove the possibility of hope. You need to move forward while he figures out what the hell he wants in life.
I would say he has mixed feelings. On one... (read in full...)
This four year relationship has worn me down
Q. I've been with this guy for about four years, we have had our ups and downs. He has always been extremely controlling and I have changed into this person I'm not sure is me. I used to be outgoing, fun, successful, and felt like I had things going ...
A. 18 April 2012: You have to look at the huge risk you would be making.
I know the relationship you're in isn't ideal, and you're clearly unhappy, but you two seem to be making it work.
Plus you have the kids to worry about, and the thought of breaking their b... (read in full...)
Excessive drinking is affecting my boyfriend's sexual performance
Q. Hi, I have posted several questions about love, sex and relationship on this website and have always received good advice. I have been with my boyfriend for roughly 2 years and everything has been great. There are a few things that I quite dis...
A. 18 April 2012: No! Don't think you are the reason he has this problem!
You need to tell him! Honestly hurts, and he might get upset, but he needs to know. His habits are hurting not just himself but his relationship with you as well.
Don't point the finger... (read in full...)
I think my wife is getting too friendly with her college friend. Am I over reacting?
Q. I don't consider it cheating, but I certainly think it's inappropriate behavior and my wife thinks otherwise. My wife and I are married for quite a few years. I (we) paid for her to go to college and when our kids started being in school all day s...
A. 17 April 2012: I don't think you are over-reacting. It's only appropriate to kiss your spouse and family, in my opinion.
And I don't have to be a man to know he's playing the pissing on territory game and seeing how far he can go.
Quite honestly, he sho... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not attracted to my gf anymore, but I still love her
Q. Man... How to explain this without sounding like a jerk... My girlfriend was never really the hot and sexy type of girl, but whenever she dressed up well she would look really beautiful. She also has a great personality, which is probably why I ...
A. 17 April 2012: Honeymoon phase over.
It seems like she's gotten really comfortable behaving this way. Quite honestly, this might warrant the need for a break. Does she only act this way to you? You might find out that you do are "better" people not being to... (read in full...)
He Told Me He Liked Me, Now He's Ignoring Me? Why?
Q. I've liked my future housemate's ex-boyfriend for a while, and I was friends with him. A few days ago, we were celebrating the end of classes, so we drank with some of our friends. My alcohol tolerance isn't that great, so I felt kind of sick by the ...
A. 16 April 2012: I don't think you're being unreasonable per say, but I do think that he's trying his best to tell you that he is not interested in a relationship with you at this very moment without hurting your feelings. Yes, he might say he likes you, but if he ... (read in full...)
I want to write a love letter but don't know how
Q. Can anyone on here give me any samples or ideas for a love letter to my fiance? I really want to write one for her, but I'm not sure what to say. Can someone give me a few ideas?...
A. 12 April 2012: With a love letter, it's supposed to be heart felt. How you truly feel. They are supposed to be gushy and sappy. I don't think anyone here could give you a sample because they do not know how it feels to be in love with your fiance. It's supposed to ... (read in full...)
She's a virgin and I don't know if I can handle it
Q. This is a long one. I'm 22, she's 23, and she's amazing. We've been together for about 8 months and so far she's everything I want a woman. There are just 2 issues. 1st, she lives far away. She is currently going to school in Israel and will ...
A. 12 April 2012: You can't convince her to have sex, that would be morally wrong, don't you think? And it would be unfair to give her an ultimatum.
There's an important issue here that you two don't see eye to eye with. It's important to her that she waits un... (read in full...)
Uncomfortable kissing g/f in front of others
Q. I would like to know if it's weird that I don't like to kiss my girlfriend in front of others. I have no problem with kissing in general. Im not ashamed of her or anything I just feel weird, ya know?...
A. 12 April 2012: It's not weird. A lot of people don't like PDA because they don't want others staring at or judging them.
It's a matter of preference. If your girlfriend is bothered by this, reassure her. Tell her you find it inappropriate and you would much rat... (read in full...)
I like her but overheard her talking about a date she just had. Where do I go now?
Q. Hi, a new girl started at work recently and we seem to get on well. She seems quite shy so i've been chatting to her when I can and just trying to get to know her a bit. A group of us from work are going out this weekend so I was looking forward to ...
A. 12 April 2012: My advice is to steer clear of in-office/work relationships. Those do not typically work out. Also, she's the new girl, you might overwhelm her if already she has new co-workers trying to ask her out. Lastly, you might be putting her in an ... (read in full...)
Can the depo shot stop my cycle the first month?
Q. My question is in regaurds to the depo shot. I recieved the shot march 16th shortly after my cycle. I was told to wait only a week before having sex by my doctor and the nurse practictioner that gave me the shot. I was also told it can eventually ...
A. 12 April 2012: A pregnancy test in a week wouldn't be a half bad idea.
However, remember with the Depo shot, it's supposed to remain in your system for 3 months. Isn't that how it's administered? A shot every 3 months? What it does is it loads you up on hormones... (read in full...)
I am jealous of my flirting boyfriend
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months now. We spend a lot of time together. And before we were together we knew each other and used to joke around and flirt at work. So I have known from day 1 that he is a flirt because I have seen him ...
A. 12 April 2012: Unless you truly have reason to suspect that he's cheating on you, lighten up. What's wrong with a little flirting here and there? People flirt for fun, or it's in their nature, or to feel wanted and to feel attractive. It this situation, his ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for sexual orientation to shift over time?
Q. Is it normal for your sexual orientation to change over time? When I was around 15-17, I identified as bi, then for a couple years something changed (no reason, it just did) and I was pretty much exclusively into guys, and now (when I'm 19) I'm ...
A. 12 April 2012: Very normal. As we grow older, our perspectives, thoughts, feelings and perceptions are always changing. Have fun and be safe. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my best friends to realise they love each other?
Q. Dear readers, I have two very close male friends. Both are gay. One of them is my very best friend (let's call him E). The other is also a good friend (we can call him D). We have quite a close group. My best friend E has been single for quite...
A. 12 April 2012: You should do exactly what you said- do not meddle in their love lives. Don't try to play match maker. They are grown men, and want to start a relationship, they will do it on their own terms. ... (read in full...)
Did he break up with his g/f to try to lure me back?
Q. I won't go into the whole back story of my question as it will take forever so here is a quick sum up. Going back two years I was seeing a guy(lets call him Drew)who I fell head over heels for, but for the last year and a half he has been seeing a...
A. 12 April 2012: Well it sure sounds to me that he has a hell of a good time with you considering you two have continued to sleep together while he was dating someone else. So to answer your question, yes.
You two seem perfect for each other. ... (read in full...)
He Told Me He Liked Me, Now He's Ignoring Me? Why?
Q. I've liked my future housemate's ex-boyfriend for a while, and I was friends with him. A few days ago, we were celebrating the end of classes, so we drank with some of our friends. My alcohol tolerance isn't that great, so I felt kind of sick by the ...
A. 12 April 2012: It's hard to say. You have to talk to him, there's no other way around it.
Have an approach in mind when doing so. Don't go up to him and ask "Why are you ignoring me all of a sudden?"
Instead, kindly ask "Hey, ever since that night, I feel as... (read in full...)
Do I move on and always wonder what might have been, knowing that it will hurt me or do I wait and see what he says?
Q. Ok so basically at new years me and this boy were both very drunk and ended up kissing, nothing else happened. Neither of us mentioned it again. A month ago, one of my friends had a house party and me and the boy were amongst a few others staying ...
A. 12 April 2012: Sorry sweetie, but if he truly, genuinely liked you, and wanted to be with you, you two would have been in a relationship.
He just put it in the nicest way possible by saying he "doesn't want a relationship." Even though he said he likes you back... (read in full...)
The man I met on an online site is still talking/possibly meeting with other women
Q. I recently met a lovely man on a dating website, we met up and things went very well. He is 20 years older than myself and is divorced with a son. We have being seeing each other for about 8 weeks. I stay round his house 3- 4 times a week and we get ...
A. 12 April 2012: I do not recommend any sort of sting operation, do not get yourself any more involved.
It's quite obvious this guy is a player. He is playing you and numerous other women.
This other women felt "cheap," so perhaps end this relationship bef... (read in full...)
My g/f sees a man once and week and he pays her bills. Do I believe her that there is nothing sexual?
Q. I got a girlfriend that sees a man once week and he pays her bills. and she says all they do is go out to eat and be his friend, but she swears on her kids life they dont do anything sexual. she says she loves me and i need to stop worrying about ...
A. 12 April 2012: For him to be taking her out to dinner frequently and be paying the bills for her... she must be giving something back in return. No one offers to pay or assume such a responsibility without giving something in return.
As for them being "good fr... (read in full...)
My ex asked me to cheat on my boyfriend with him, I refused and told my boyfriend what my ex had said, and now he thinks I've already cheated on him!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together two months. Everything was going great until my ex got incontact through email and was asking me to cheat on my bf with him. i of course said no and told my bf everything that was said thinking i was being ...
A. 1 April 2012: You two have been dating for 2 month, your current boyfriend has not developed enough trust yet. This is quite normal actually. Trust develops in time. It scared him off, especially since he was cheated on in the past.
Though, I'm noticing... (read in full...)
We got into my argument over my husband's drinking and he hit me!
Q. My husband and I got into am arguement over him drinking and coming home smelling like alcohol, so the other night he informed me that he was drinking a beer while driving home, that did not sit well with me, all I ask os that he not come home ...
A. 1 April 2012: Has he ever hit you before? Has he ever been verbally abusive?
If he's been abusive in some form or the other in the past, then yes, it's very likely it can happen again.
It sounds like he has a drinking problem. And the fact is, it would not... (read in full...)
How do I deal with what happened while we were broken up? I want to move on but am obsessed with thoughts of her with other guys
Q. My girlfriend and i had been together for two years, mainly long distance. In the end it got so hard and there was no hope of being able to live in the same city anytime soon so i broke up with her. She was shattered, truly heartbroken. F...
A. 1 April 2012: You broke up with her, she was single, so she was allowed to so whatever she wanted.
You two are happy and are now have a child on the way, so why are you so hung up with something she did while you two were broken up? Why should these images o... (read in full...)
Nervous, or leading me on?
Q. i met this girl who said she is looking for a relationship. but she does not want to get hurt again, she sent me questions would i kiss her if i had the chance. she said she enjoys hanging out with me is she leading me on?...
A. 26 March 2012: If she enjoys hanging out with you and asking questions to see if you would kiss her or not, she isn't so much leading you on but rather remaining guarded because of previous relationships leaving her hurt.
So why don't you just go on some dat... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my 7 year older 1st cousin
Q. I'm a girl and i have a huge crush on my older cousin. She is 7 years older than me but still, everytime when she comes over to our house she is all i can think about. I have known her since i was little and we are very close. But i can't help that ...
A. 26 March 2012: You are first cousins, that's frowned upon, so you should care.
Obviously there is no chance in hell she is going to feel the same about you. You are simply suffering from a crush that will go away if you keep busy and avoid being at the house wh... (read in full...)
I'm dating a girl who sleeps in the same bed as her male friend and doesn't see anything wrong with it
Q. This is a bit long winded but I just want to give you as much info as possible so bear with me. I started seeing a girl (shes 24, I'm 28) and we had been on like 3 or 4 dates. I was also seeing her most nights after work as we live very close. W...
A. 26 March 2012: She sounds pretty fishy. If she doesn't think it's a problem to have a guy friend sleep in the same bed, you have to wonder what other things she's okay with.
The fact that she doesn't understand why you have a problem with this means she won'... (read in full...)
I told the guy I'm dating I want to be with him and no response yet.
Q. Guys or ladies, I would loooove some advice please! I have been casually dating a guy long distance now for bout 5 minths now known him for a year. He lives in kentucky I stay in california. Seeing each other is never a problem we take turns flying ...
A. 26 March 2012: It's been two days, you should probably initiate the conversation.
Call him. If he doesn't answer, text him. Say something along the lines of "Hey you have me worried about us. I thought we were doing great, and when I said 'I want to be with you... (read in full...)
Should I hang out with my new guy friend or is it just not a good idea since I'm attracted to him?
Q. My bf and I have been dating for a year now. Anyways, there is a guy I work with, I am attracted to. I get along with him great, we have almost everything in common. I know, you probably know where this might be going. I am not planning or leaving ...
A. 26 March 2012: Out of first hand experience, this WILL put you into a deep pool of back fire. It seems harmless at first, it really does, however you start developing feelings and start questioning the integrity of your relationship with your bf.
Don't do it. F... (read in full...)
I trust my boyfriend with my heart, but I can't trust his "friend" whatsoever. Should I be worried that something will happen between them?
Q. Here's my situation: I've been officially dating this guy for a little less than a month, though we've been together for about a month and a half... When we first met we instantly clicked! I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and from what everyone...
A. 26 March 2012: No you can't trust the girl, but it takes two to tango.
What I don't understand is- he's called her a psycho, therefore he thinks she's a psycho, and she makes him upset as you've indicated, so what is his reasoning for going to the beach?
... (read in full...)
I checked on my boyfriend's facebook messages and found things I didn't like
Q. Me and my boyfriend were together for 9 months and i was a few weeks pregnant when we split up due to pressure with my family hating him and stuff. (theres a long story there that I don't wanna go into but my parents are very controlling and have ...
A. 26 March 2012: Another thing-
He can't change what he's done in the past with other girls while you two were broken up and while you were pregnant. I can't say what he did while you were pregnant with his child was appropriate or excusable but try and see whet... (read in full...)
I checked on my boyfriend's facebook messages and found things I didn't like
Q. Me and my boyfriend were together for 9 months and i was a few weeks pregnant when we split up due to pressure with my family hating him and stuff. (theres a long story there that I don't wanna go into but my parents are very controlling and have ...
A. 26 March 2012: It's understandable that his past sexual experiences make you uncomfortable, but have some confidence, he got back in contact with you and wants to make this work. If he's been helpful and supportive since, then that's great. Try not to think about ... (read in full...)
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