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*lairM

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

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*lairM's profile:

Hi all,

I am in my forties, had a lot of experience and insight into people and personalities. I read people's advice on here and i look at it from my honest angle on their situation. I don't follow suit and agree with other people even if the general opinion seems to be the same, i think about the people that the poster is bringing into the question being asked and what they are thinking in all of it as well.

I don't claim to always be right, it is always like everyone else just my opinion and more often than not the poster will agree with what they already know is the right answer to their question, all they really need is clarity.

123Next > [3 pages, 95 answers]

One night stand why didn't he call back

Q.   To make a long story short, I had sex with a guy from my office last week and he bailed right after. I noticed he had been staring at me over the last several weeks, but we were never introduced. At a late office party at a hotel last week (where I ...

A.   17 April 2019: Sorry but if that had happened to the point you saw him masturbating and you offering him sex because you felt sorry for him I would be not only put off by him but vice versa. It was sex, nothing more nothing less and the way it panned out was ... (read in full...)

Why does my wife go cold on me when we’re on holiday?

Q.   I've just got home from a 2-week cruise around the Caribbean with my parents, my wife and my two kids. It was the holiday of a lifetime and we all had an amazing time. The only downside was that my wife seemed to just ignore me the whole holiday. I ...

A.   16 April 2019: It is a weird one that's for sure I wonder if maybe she is a home bird and doesn't actually feel comfortable out of her normal surroundings, but like all the other potential suggestions I'm also second guessing I think the only thing you can do... (read in full...)

What do I wear for my first time at a swingers’ party?

Q.   Hi everyone So on my bucket list for the last 10 years has been to attend a private adult party. I have been recommended one and I have been checking it out quite thoroughly and it all seems legit and safe etc. My question is - as a single...

A.   16 April 2019: I'm not into swinging at all but my thought is surely you would wear something according to the type of people and sex you want? So if you want vanilla sex it would be something that covers your body, it it's kinky sex wear leather etc etc and ... (read in full...)

There is something wrong with me, as soon as we have sex I dump them!

Q.   I daydream about sex most if the time.I read about it, and I watch it. I also find dates, the person usually starts to like me and we hit it off, then we have sex, and then I immediatley cut them off, even if i've enjoyed it I just need to find ...

A.   16 April 2019: I remember going through a stage like this about your age, i remember mixing sex and love up and getting hurt along the way. You aren't doing anything wrong, however you need to honestly ask yourself if you feel okay with what you are doing be... (read in full...)

Does anyone have a short sharp way of dealing with work place bullies?

Q.   Does anyone have a short sharp way of dealing with work place bullies? I have approached my employer and he says he does not see it. I am ridiculed about my age my appearance, my unmarried status and shockingly having children out of marriage and ...

A.   16 April 2019: You don't have the support of your boss, you cannot prove what is going on is happening, unfortunately work place bullies can be very sly, look it up on the internet, the problem is actually massive. You don't need to tell any new job the real rea... (read in full...)

I have neve wanted children, husband is being pressured to adopt his orphaned nephew

Q.   My husband and I are both 29 and child free by choice. His sister and her husband, both 40, passed away in a car accident two months ago. They left behind a 9 year old who is currently living with my husband's parents. Long story short, his paren...

A.   16 April 2019: This sad story reminds me so much of my own nephew who's mum died, my brother lived in another country and was in a new relationship. His elderly grandparents drove him and dropped him off at my brothers doorstep, said he is your son take care of... (read in full...)

Can't understand why my lesbian g/f would be taking birth control for the sole purpose of not getting pregnant

Q.   I'm struggling how and if to bring this up with my partner as I want to be sensitive and not offend her, I'm not sure if I'm getting red flags or being paranoid. My girlfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. She is having some birt...

A.   16 April 2019: Well to have said that it seems she is saying she is either having sex with men or in case she does at some point, unless she is naive I can't see what else she would mean do you? I think rather than us and more importantly second guessing... (read in full...)

Adult son's fiance is too old for him

Q.   My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...

A.   15 April 2019: I'm afraid he is an adult and has to make his own choices and if that is a mistake so be it. You have described him as sensible and I take it of sound mind, so he isn't in a vulnerable position and I fail to see how you think this means you have ... (read in full...)

She seems like a nice girl, but I think she is also a fake profile who follows me

Q.   Hi ladies and gentlemen Sorry, this is going to be a long and very weird story. I met a girl, we spent 1 day together (platonic) and it was nice. we kept in touch and grew closer but we live 9 hours by car away from each other so didn't see ea...

A.   12 April 2019: I would be giving her a wide berth she's clearly two shillings short of a sixpence ... (read in full...)

I still resent the way my husband proposed to me.

Q.   I wanted to see if I’m being sensitive or not, I can’t get over the fact after 6 years of marriage with two kids of how my husband proposed. We’ve been dating for 5 years before he propose and the way he did it makes me sad till to this day. I see ...

A.   9 April 2019: And in the six years you have been married how has he been as a husband? You make no mention of him being a bad one, when you bring it up he says sorry, it seems to me he looks back and regrets how he went about it and is trying to move forward.... (read in full...)

I'm not really into the new guy. Do I give him a chance or am I wasting my time?

Q.   I have been single for 6 months and have recently got back into dating. I say dating - I have met up with one person so far as the 'pool' is so small where I live - even online. The guy I have met is nice. He is sweet, kind, laid back but I ...

A.   9 April 2019: If he was 'Meh when you met him two weeks ago how was ever going to be 'Wow' in bed? I feel sorry for men when it comes to dating if I'm honest with you. From speaking to my boyfriend of two years he said he had a woman tell him he is ugly wit... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won't tell anyone that I'm a part of his life and I feel like a dirty secret

Q.   My Boyfriend refuses to tell anyone about me he claims he is private . He won't even tell his parents about me claims he is fighting with his Mother... yet she text him every day he visits her at Christmas and she just sent him flowers. This has ...

A.   8 April 2019: Read back your post OP and seriously ask yourself what advice you would be giving to someone in your shoes, you know what is happening here..... (read in full...)

I regret the flings that I had with strangers

Q.   I was never a hookup person but I’ve had a fling after I heard a lot of “you are single , experiment”. I didn’t regret it much. I’ve had another after a few months but I was supposedly in a very short romantic thing with him before I ended it. ...

A.   8 April 2019: You can't turn back time. I made a lot of mistakes I look back and cringe at but it doesn't change the choices that was made. Look after yourself, forgive yourself and give yourself time, you are beating yourself up over this, no one else is.... (read in full...)

He seems to have cut off all feelings for everyone!

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for a few month we are friends and he knows i like him more than that. He said he doesnt want to hurt me and would stop the fun we are having. I dont want to stop the fun and it wont be more than what we have but a few times ...

A.   7 April 2019: I wonder if you are the woman your friend posted a question about a couple of months ago, the scenario is similar to how she described it. If he wanted a relationship with you he would be saying he does. He sees you as a friend, he knows you like... (read in full...)

He seems to have cut off all feelings for everyone!

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for a few month we are friends and he knows i like him more than that. He said he doesnt want to hurt me and would stop the fun we are having. I dont want to stop the fun and it wont be more than what we have but a few times ...

A.   5 April 2019: Sorry but as you have worded it I read it as he has a guilty conscience because he knows he won't want more than he is giving you but he can see you want more. He doesn't want to lose the FWB so he is trying to establish you are still okay wit... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to not get along with your inlaws?

Q.   Is it wrong to not get along with your in-laws? We've been married for three years, and in that time, it's come out that his father is sort of, I want to say bi-polar. He has crazy mood swings where he gets angry then turns around and does somethin...

A.   2 April 2019: If you feel that his father puts your child at risk with his behaviour and it may impact on him then for me I think you do right to keep your distance, however if you find you do have to see him, be as polite as possible and keep the visits to a ... (read in full...)

2 babies with another woman and he's married to me. I want a divorce!

Q.   I have been married for 4years and just before I got married my husband and I were on a short break. During that break, my husband (then fiance) slept with one of his friends. I did not find out until one month after we got married. And 4 months ...

A.   1 April 2019: Well technically if you wasn't together (the break) i guess he didn't cheat, having said that the fact you was on a short break means to me he didn't waste time and in your shoes i would be devastated to know he did that. I split with my partner for ... (read in full...)

Is he interested or being a polite neighbor?

Q.   I recently relocated to a new city. Within a month of moving in, my neighbor introduced himself and I was immediately stricken and attracted to him. The other day he stopped over and we ended up having drinks with neighbors and friends. He kept ...

A.   28 March 2019: Same advice as if you had met any man, take it slowly, chat, be friends, get to know him a lot more. You know at your age that attraction can be instant but there is more to it than that. The fact he is a neighbour means if it goes wrong if you g... (read in full...)

If I move in as he suggests I fear I will be stuck into one of his little compartments and kept separate from his life

Q.   Hi, was looking for advice. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for around 2 years. He has basically been staying at mine every night for over a year but still maintains his own place which has made money really tight as he cant afford ...

A.   26 March 2019: This is all about what he wants and the carrot being dangled is you both get to save a few quid?? After two years and when you are at an age where you naturally would want to settle and have children of your own what has he said to show your act... (read in full...)

Wife hides her family and past from me

Q.   I recently found out that my wife’s sister has past. I am upset because I never even knew she had a sister. My wife hides her family and her past from me. Worse she asked me not to come to the funeral and wants to go alone. We have been married for ...

A.   20 March 2019: She clearly has her reasons for not talking about her family and disclosing she had a sister. We can all speculate why, it could be they kept your wife at arms length by choice or she kept them at arms length. I can understand why you are upset an... (read in full...)

Why did he unmatch me after hooking up?

Q.   I hooked up with this guy from Tinder the other night but we didn't have sex because I was on my period. That didn't seem to bother him but I was uncomfortable with it and gave him oral instead. I told him next time we will go all the way and he ...

A.   20 March 2019: Agreeing to have sex straight away and being 'picky' is a tad contradictory. But regardless,for him it was purely a sexual thing between four walls and he didn't want that spilling into his everyday life. We can second guess why he feels that way ... (read in full...)

She thinks there was a hidden message about being fat in my fruit and yoghurt comment

Q.   So I have been with this woman for 18 months. Our relationship has been perfect so far, no arguements, always get on. Today she had an arguement with a friend and was not very happy after. She sent me a message saying she was going for a walk and ...

A.   20 March 2019: Some things that are said can be like a red rag to a bull, it sounds like she is self conscious about her weight. Or it's simply the argument with her friend put her on edge and she took what you said out of context and either way if you really ... (read in full...)

Isn’t it weird for a man to have pictures like these on his phone?

Q.   I chatted online to someone who seemed really lovely. He told me that he was very needy, I am done with needy men but I thought I shall give him a chance. We met, he was lovely but he talked too much which irritating me, while he was showing m...

A.   12 March 2019: So many red flags they are blazing in full glory. He is needy, he is self absorbed and he has pictures of penises on his mobile. I would have been put off just with him admitting he is needy, but the other things, erm well,and you are still th... (read in full...)

I’m nervous about losing my virginity? Any tips?

Q.   hi everyone I was hoping to get advice on losing virginity as an older overweight woman. I am 27 years old and I am still a virgin. I have a fwb situation going on and I plan to lose my virginity to him. The Problem is that I’m extremely nervous ...

A.   12 March 2019: I would be looking at ways to build up your self confidence as I said. I do get the pressure that is on us to lose our virginity but it would be a shame you would do so not feeling good in yourself and knowing that the man you lose it to doesn't ... (read in full...)

I’m nervous about losing my virginity? Any tips?

Q.   hi everyone I was hoping to get advice on losing virginity as an older overweight woman. I am 27 years old and I am still a virgin. I have a fwb situation going on and I plan to lose my virginity to him. The Problem is that I’m extremely nervous ...

A.   11 March 2019: Firstly you are not 'older' you are still young, secondly if you are not happy in yourself then why not look at ways to feel better about yourself, you ARE young and it is not set in stone you can't make changes to gain more confidence. I lost three ... (read in full...)

He changed his looks and I am no longer attracted at all to him. Do I end things?

Q.   Hi I’ve been dating a guy for 6 months- it’s had it’s ups and downs- mainly as it started as a friendship with absolutely no sexual attraction on my behalf . I’ve never looked at him and thought ‘god your handsome’ but he has a lovely personali...

A.   9 March 2019: At the end of the day he wasn't joking and he is happy in his own skin and wanted to change his hair colour. You might have liked him but you wasn't attracted to him. Okay looks aren't everything but you have stated you had absolutely no sexual ... (read in full...)

She blocked me on facebook because I looked her up

Q.   Been seeing this woman for four months, have a lot of fun going out dancing movies places to eat, the sex is great, but she only has time to see me once a week,I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad,she said that's personal, so ...

A.   9 March 2019: Seems to me she has skeletons in her closet that she doesn't want you to see. I think you know her behaviour is odd to say the least and she was hiding something. I would personally let her go if you want something serious I don't think this lady is ... (read in full...)

Is our relationship cooling off? I'm unsure of the signs I am seeing

Q.   Hi all ———— I’m in a new ish relationship. We met actually almost 6 weeks now and at first I felt like he came on really strong and wanted to see me a lot and made every excuse to find time to be around me..(his work can be difficult at tim...

A.   9 March 2019: The smoking weed is a big turn off for you and let's play devils advocate what if you did fall pregnant, do you think someone with his lifestyle would be a good father and partner? Because let's be honest here that is what you are looking for, a ... (read in full...)

Friend wants more with a guy but hes holding back

Q.   My friend has been seeing a man she met online a few month ago. She knows hes still on the dating site and he knows she came off as soon as she met him. They have both been very open and honest with each other. He knows she wants a relationship but ...

A.   6 March 2019: As hard as it is she is best to cut ties, she wants what she knows she can't have and he knows how she feels but is giving nothing but friendship, because he may like her as a person and like her company but he does not see her in the romantic ... (read in full...)

I’ll go on what seems to be a very good date and then never hear back!How do I stay positive?

Q.   I’ve been using a popular dating app and marchebwkth a guy who also put that he was looking for a relationship on his profile. He asked me out and we had a great date this Friday . Lots of laughs, chemistry, etc. I was careful to keep things ligh...

A.   6 March 2019: Take time off from dating, join groups of interest, try new hobbies, go out with friends. Love will happen when you least expect it and it will trust me, just work on being truly happy in yourself and socialising in general, not going on date after ... (read in full...)

3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...

A.   6 March 2019: Sorry I honestly thought it must have been a joke when you said about the penis. Your wife has slowly eroded your self confidence, on one hand she pays you all the compliments and on the other she shows her words mean nothing. You are clearly ... (read in full...)

My parents make racist remarks about my girlfriend. I've tried to talk to them but they won't stop

Q.   I’ve been dating a girl for a few months. I’m really happy. We can’t get enough of each other. We still haven’t had our first argument. We have tons of stuff in common. I get along well with her family. Basically everything is going very well. ...

A.   5 March 2019: Apologies i didn't mean to cut my post short, but rather than sit them down and it be talked about in a defensive way if you try and find a good time and express how you feel they may be more willing to listen and respect how you feel. It is... (read in full...)

My parents make racist remarks about my girlfriend. I've tried to talk to them but they won't stop

Q.   I’ve been dating a girl for a few months. I’m really happy. We can’t get enough of each other. We still haven’t had our first argument. We have tons of stuff in common. I get along well with her family. Basically everything is going very well. ...

A.   5 March 2019: Are your parents not normally approachable? If you can i think you need to just sit down and tell them you like this girl and you are asking them to respect you are an adult and to treat your girlfriend with respect. That may be difficult if not ... (read in full...)

I feel like I am second prize and he is with me because he can't get the porn models he looks at

Q.   The man I’m dating looks at a lot of porn . (I’ve seen it when I visit his home ) it’s just glamour model after glamour model and women way out of his league . Much younger and models . It makes me think he’s dating me only because I’m all he can ...

A.   5 March 2019: I know men watch porn, even in relationships, what i don't get is why is he showing you what he watches by leaving it about for you to see, that would piss me off if i am honest. Have you told him how you feel? It seems he is being thoughtl... (read in full...)

Should I see my one night stand again? I'm not interested in sex with him again

Q.   I had a one night stand two nights ago. We were at his house and I left in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep and I wanted to go home. During the night I had given him an old number that is disconnected because I wasn’t sure at the ...

A.   5 March 2019: I think because you aren't used to one night stands you felt rude leaving as you did so despite knowing you have no real interest in him you feel you should meet him. It doesn't really work like that, that is why they are called just that, unless ... (read in full...)

I feel confused and anxious about him not speaking to me except by text Saturday evening!

Q.   I have been in a relationship for 18 months with a great guy.This is an intensely passionate but in my opinion emotionally healthy relationship.We have hurdles but we have overcome them.Apart from one massive issue which is my fears of abandonment ...

A.   5 March 2019: You allowed your anxiety and insecurity get the better of you, I'm sure he is well aware that is how you feel and that may very well be a problem or become one because he can't be held responsible for how you feel if he feels he needs space. ... (read in full...)

I want to teach my cheating ex a lesson

Q.   Hi! I'm 29 and got married last year. I'm happy with my husband, but my ex bf still calls me despite he being married. He says that he can't forget me, and still wants me. I cleared the air that I'm happy with my husband and won't ever leave him for ...

A.   5 March 2019: Your revenge is you moved on and you're happy, if you start trying to create karma things may well backfire. His punishment is he lost you, block him and get on with your life with your husband, his shitty behaviour led you to a decent man... (read in full...)

Why didn't he want to come home with me?

Q.   I've been dating this guy for about a month now. He said he likes me and wasn't seeing anyone else. On our last date, we had a passionate make out and he said that I was beautiful and sexy and really turned him on. In fact, he had to stop himself a ...

A.   4 March 2019: If you told him you didn't want to get sexual and things got very heated the night before he probably backed off because he didn't want to go home sexually frustrated. I think you need to make your mind up OP, he isn't a mind reader nor does ... (read in full...)

3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...

A.   3 March 2019: Sorry but if you really love someone you don't cheat on them, i think you know deep down why she stays with you... (read in full...)

It is his 30th birthday at the end of March - What do I get the guy I have only been seeing for a few weeks?

Q.   So I have only known this guy for a few weeks but I have found out that it is his 30th birthday at the end of the month. It is quite a significant birthday and whilst we haven't known each other long, he is incredibly thoughtful and we have been...

A.   2 March 2019: I got my boyfriend a card and paid for a nice meal for his birthday and vice versa, when it has only been a few weeks you don't get carried away. I had a friend buy her new boyfriend a £250 pound camera when she had only been with him a few week... (read in full...)

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