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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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My ex husband of 5 years won't take no for an answer, how can I get him to stop trying to have sex with me?
Q. My ex husband and I get along very well as parents. We have been apart for 5 years. I am in a serious relationship with another man. Several times since we parted he has come onto me sexually and I have told him no, that it isn't gonna happen. Once ...
A. 6 July 2011: He needs help. I think it best you stay away from him as much as possible. I know you are doing what you can for your children, so they will have parents but honestly, if he keeps going on like this, it will all burn to the ground. You don't need ... (read in full...)
Relationship/ Personal Help wanted please!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 15 yrs old, and have always been single, no first kiss or nothin, but i want a relationship. However, there are a few probs... I have a crush on an slighlty older girls (16, goin to be 17 soon (but im gunna be 16 soon) shes a senior ...
A. 6 July 2011: I think insecurity is your largest problem here. But you have no reason to be insecure. Nothing you see as a problem is impossible to change. If you think you are weak or unfit then start becoming athletic. It isn't hard and don't start telling ... (read in full...)
Pregnant by abusive BF who drinks every night and tried to get me to strip for his friends... but I love him and want to help him change
Q. me and my boyfriend have been living together for 2 months now after 6 months of being together. The 6 months where incredible best 6 months of my life and he really and truly did treat me like a princess but ever since we started living together...
A. 2 July 2011: He won't change unless he wants to. Him treating you like a princess is just a facade. Abusive people will always lure someone in by treating them right only to shove them away in a violent outburst. Its a cycle that will never stop, especially if ... (read in full...)
No pregnancy options?
Q. I haven't had sex, and I don't plan on it anytime soon, but I am curious. If I were to be on the pill, have the guy have a condom on, make him pull out properly, and take the morning after pill...what are the chances I would become pregnant? Is it ...
A. 30 June 2011: There is always a chance but using the right contraception will greatly decrease the chances of it happening, especially if the guy pulls out in time.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Unwaranted feelings of infidelity....
Q. I'm in a committed relationship and I've always been in faithful. I've always been a person who is against infidelity and never understood why anyone would do that. But lately I've been wanted to cheat, and i cant understand why. Help please!...
A. 29 June 2011: Is something missing in your relationship? Sex? Affection? Emotion? anything at all? Or is it perhaps the prospect of a thrill that may come with an affair that might tempt you? Understanding why someone would cheat leads you towards understanding ... (read in full...)
Why is it when things are bad it gets physical? Well on my part it does. I need help!
Q. After 1 year me and my soon to be wife ( less than 3 months away from the wedding) fight all the time. Now before I get into this way to deep understand what I am about to post most will not. When we fight I become very aggressive to her to the ...
A. 19 June 2011: You need ways to deal with anger. You've already taken a step in the right direction in admitting your faults. You are right in saying most others wouldn't admit it, they would continue down that path regardless of who they crush. I suggest you ... (read in full...)
Do I come out and risk being bullied again? Or stay silent?
Q. ok so a year ago i came out to a friend who i thought i could trust, turns out i couldn't when i came into class the next morning and questions where being thrown at me saying "are you gay" i was so shocked i mean i thought i could trust her i told ...
A. 19 June 2011: It is a shame that people are still forced to hide because of the ignorance of others. It is an even greater shame that you have to hide it from your own parents. But how trustful are you of your parent's love? Is their love for their own daughter ... (read in full...)
Depressed wife left me and went to her mother's. How do I get her back?
Q. dear cupid hope u can help my wife has been suffering with depression for the last 18 months.since this first began i have tried everything i could to make her better sadly my lack of knowledge of the illness worked against me.i have felt that the...
A. 19 June 2011: She needs professional help. It is admirable that you fought to keep your marriage secure but unfortunately, depression isn't something one person can fight against easily. Talk to your mother-in-law about getting professional help for your wife and ... (read in full...)
I have done the right thing and ended my affair, but how do I now cope with the emptiness?
Q. I am not proud of my affair. I am not that kind of a person. She and I met at work and became close. Her marriage was on the rocks, she has 1 kid and I was living away from my wife and daughter for various reasons. It just happened, first ...
A. 18 June 2011: The right thing would have been to avoid consummating your 'relationship' in the first place, the right thing would have been to be wary of your feelings for this woman. But now, not only have you jeopardized your relationship with your wife and ... (read in full...)
My wife and I don't have sex anymore. What can I do???
Q. So to sum up my problem it's lack of sex. Here's some background. My wife and I have been married for a little less than two years. I'm 34 and she's 29. This is a first marriage for both of us and there are no kids in the picture. When w...
A. 15 June 2011: What about the other aspects of your marriage? Romance and the general support a partnership offers. Do you know why she is tired all the time? Perhaps she is being overworked? Does she talk to you about it? What do you do to try and lessen the ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated. We seperated. I took him back. Now he cheated again. Now what???
Q. I just found out my husband cheated on me for the second time. We had been married for 13 yrs and had our ups and downs, then I found out about a affair he was having and we split up, but never got divorced. It was like that for about 6 yrs, in ...
A. 13 June 2011: You divorce him and you never look back. Your blaming yourself for this marriage's downfall when all along it was his unwillingness to truly commit that caused it to break. He should be the one asking YOU if you would consider taking him back and ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried by his threats to take custody of my baby?
Q. So my fellow dearcupid friends, I have a serious question. I am nearly 3 months pregnant, me and the man have not been together in a while. Soon after finding out I was pregnant I began working and putting money away for my baby when he or she ...
A. 9 June 2011: Not at all. There is no reason why anyone would give someone like him custody of the child. There is no reason why it should be taken away from you and given to someone like him of all people.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
My partner cheated on me but I do see he had his reasons, can the trust be re-built?
Q. Ive been in a relationship with a man for 11 years now, for the past 5 years i got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, i have been very ill and over medicated on many meds, and when my partner is home on leave from working at sea, all i do is sleep ...
A. 4 June 2011: Don't think that way. Diseases cannot command what people feel for you. He could not help feeling the way he does but his actions and his pity does not mirror any sort of future. There are a multitude of people who would love a woman like you, ... (read in full...)
Aren't there ANY women who don't want kids out there?
Q. Why is it that women say that the things they want in a boyfriend or partner tend to be things like: confidence, kind, generous, loving, make me feel special, sense of humour? It's total nonsense. All they want is someone to father their chi...
A. 3 June 2011: There are women out there who don't want children, just keep looking.
Don't think lowly about the women who want a good man who wants a child. They do value all those qualities. You think just because someone wants children, women will flock to... (read in full...)
Is is ok for married people to be physically attracted to others?
Q. Is it acceptable or not for a married person to have sexual attractions to other people? I have been married to my wife for about 7 yrs. and she told me that although she is COMPLETELY happy with me sexually and I treat her right AND I give her ...
A. 3 June 2011: Then let her decide one final time. She either chooses to be with you or she doesn't and she is free to be with whomever she chooses. One thing you have to make clear is that she cannot keep on shifting her place in this relationship by bringing up ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's drunken one night stand....
Q. Hi folks, hoping somebody can offer some persepctive in this. I've just found out this morning that my GF had a one night stand with a creep from her work who had been trying it on with her for a while. We were going through a rough patch, she...
A. 3 June 2011: Technically she didn't do anything wrong, if that's what you're implying. You stormed out and after a bitter argument she turned to alcohol and then sex to feel happy. You got back together and everything is fine. My guess is that this peace will ... (read in full...)
My phone was stolen, am I right in assuming the person has kept and been through my personal information?
Q. I know this is for relationships, but i'm stressing and having an anxiety attack right now!! I really want some truth because everyone's being nice about what could of happened. Two nights ago i lost my phone in a bar/club, it's not been traced ...
A. 3 June 2011: Don't worry. It takes a little more than just a few photos and a very vague idea of who your friends and family are to steal someone's identity and pretend to be you on facebook for some odd and almost nonsensical reason.
The information you stor... (read in full...)
I am scared of being alone
Q. Hi I am scared of being alone and always desperately trying to be in a relation even though my ex-bfs never treated me right. I know the problem should be with me, since i was always been treated as a doormat. I am currently dating a guy who...
A. 1 June 2011: You've already admitted to being this way, you know what is going on, all you have to do now is stop focusing on being in a relationship and start focusing on being happy as a single woman. When someone asks you on a date, politely tell them no. If ... (read in full...)
Who lies more? Girls? or guys?
Q. do girls lie more then guys? If so, explain in detail. Why do girls lie to guys and why do guys lie to girls?...
A. 1 June 2011: Why do you think either gender lies more? They both have equal reason to lie and equal reason not to.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
My sister wants to go back to this horrible man and I'm terrified for her!
Q. My sister moved to the another country many months ago where she met her current boyfriend and I recently went to visit for a week. In my time spent there I quickly realised that she was in an abusive relationship. My sister is only seventeen and it ...
A. 1 June 2011: You cannot let your sister go back to him. She may think she loves him but its not love, its being his toy. She will feel the need to return to him because inside, she might think he is the only one who will have her, she might think that she ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex ASAP? Or wait next till forever?
Q. Hello all, I asked a question on here a while ago about a girl that had only a tendency to date "douchebag" guys, and now she's mine 3 yay! But someone incepted (planted an idea in my head, nerd reference) me recently.. Last night me and my girlfr...
A. 1 June 2011: Why are you in a relationship with this girl?
Something I like to remind all teenagers in a relationship is that relationships in high school, don't tend to last very long, for two reasons. The first is that nobody seems to grasp the concept ... (read in full...)
Can an abusive person change their ways?
Q. I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have 2 young children. He is an abusive person - physically, mentally, emotionally. I must have known this for years but have chosen to ignore it but today, I am accepting that I am an abused wife. I ...
A. 30 May 2011: If you tell him, he won't care. He doesn't have to care, you've let him push you around, you've let him use you as his plaything. Stop and find peace for yourself and for your children, away from him.
It isn't impossible for an abusive person t... (read in full...)
Do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls?
Q. I want you opinions men and women! I want to know do men find skinny girls sexier than curvy girls? i used to be rake thin and prided my self on that but now im older i have got bigger and im worried men wont fancy me as me! Given a choice what sort ...
A. 30 May 2011: Skinny as in, skinny as a rake? I don't find it attractive at all if a girl is as skinny as a stick. I like a body that shows effort, a toned body. Then again, there are women with larger bodies that are strangely alluring in their own way. I can't ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone says 'I need to work on myself first'??
Q. What does it mean when someone says 'I need to work on myself first'? I can't think of what this means at all and how they do that..........
A. 30 May 2011: It means they want to make sure they are in the right state of mind or in the right state of general life. It means they have issues or perhaps inner demons that need dealing with before they can handle something else. Usually its a personal ... (read in full...)
Husband jumping to conclusions.
Q. I really need you help here.....please be patient with me as this is very confusing to explain.. here a bit of background.. my husband of 7 years constantly brings up my past, he doesn t believe what I have told him is the truth and thinks I have w...
A. 29 May 2011: He's more trouble than he's worth and it doesn't sound like he will let this go anytime soon. Either you have a very stern talk about it with him or you divorce him, its not healthy to be in this relationship. I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with somethng I did a long time ago??
Q. I have a really big problem along time ago when i was 14 i did a sexual act with my third cousin i regret it so much i not attracted to him at all this mistake i made was because he harrased me until l gave in now im 20years old im still a virgin ...
A. 28 May 2011: You were young and you made a mistake. If you're going to get married, you want to marry the right man and the right man is someone who loves you. If someone loves you, they will not judge you, nor will they see you as anything less. There are worse ... (read in full...)
If I am going to break up with my husband what things do I need to consider?
Q. If I am going to break up with my husband. What things do I need to consider? I think I have enough reasons to do it. Do I have to go to a councillor before I can see a divorce lawyer? I am not sure how this works. Why do I think I have enough r...
A. 27 May 2011: Seek a divorce lawyer. You have reason enough to ask for a divorce. Counseling will not help you forgive him for being unfaithful to you because there is no legitimate reason for disloyalty. This marriage is done.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
My b/f is awfully attractive ...
Q. so me and my gf have been going out for 5-6 months now...i have this best friend of mine and she is really attractive to me...we have been through a lot in the past 5 years...she is in a long distant relationship with her bf for 9-10 months now..she ...
A. 27 May 2011: Being a teenager, you can almost always be certain that your hormones will get the better of you. Break up with your girlfriend and I suggest you talk to your best friend about breaking up with hers. No use remaining in a relationship you aren't ... (read in full...)
Should I believe him when he says he loves me?
Q. I really believe my boyfriend doesn't love me anymore. We have been together almost three years, have a child together, and I am about two seconds away from walking out the door. We are at our last straw with couseling and because he picked a sex ...
A. 27 May 2011: His words are empty and all he seems to be doing is inflicting pain upon you. Intentional or not, you don't deserve that sort of treatment. I strongly suggest you leave him and be done with all the lies he has to give you. Take you child. Maybe one ... (read in full...)
Should my sister marry this man?
Q. Hi The problem I'm writing about it is not my problem it is my sister's... so we are Americans but we live in Saudi Arabia in Aramco (which is a very open place, not like the rest of the country).. about 2 years ago my sister met this Saudi dude and...
A. 26 May 2011: Careful not to build up prejudices simply because of what you see from others. If your sister says yes, ask her if she is absolutely sure.
There is a Pakistani man who works in the shop next to mine, very religious but he treats his wife with the... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to tell him what I want, because I know he won't approve.
Q. my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year and 3 months. i love this boy with out question. I want to go with my aunt this summer and see family and friends i havent seen in a long time But he doesn't want me to. ???...
A. 26 May 2011: Does he really have a say in who you spend Summer with? A year and a half, isn't long enough for him to ask you to choose him over family. You cannot let your partner decide what you do for you, you do what YOU want, don't let him force you how to ... (read in full...)
I'm 32 years old... and I've never had a serious boyfriend or even slept with someone!!
Q. I could be wrong about this, but most people believe that if someone is in a relationship, then that's it, you can NEVER have a chance with that person. The trouble is, I'm 32 years old now... and I've never had a serious boyfriend or even slept wi...
A. 26 May 2011: This happens a lot more than you think. And you know what? Most of the time, they meet that perfect someone who accepts them. They're happy. So don't doubt your chances of falling in love with someone.
I've seen husbands with horrible horrible... (read in full...)
My ex-fiancée, who I still have feelings for, has been asking about me again. What do I do?
Q. well it has been a year in a few days that i have not been with my ex-fiance, i was starting to get use of my life without her but all of a sudden i hear that she has been asking about me again. Also just yesterday my sister calls me and tells me ...
A. 25 May 2011: Depending on how badly your relationship ended, you should definitely consider meeting up again, just to catch up, see how things go. From what I've just read, there's a part of you that still carries a lot of hope for that relationship, you're just ... (read in full...)
Short and sweet: I'm falling in love with my best friend!
Q. i appologize ahead of time or my grammar and spelling. ill be short and sweet. im falling in love with my best friend. hes so sweet and i feel like hes perfect for me. he sends mixed signals like completly flirting with me and asking to hangou...
A. 25 May 2011: Good to see a teenager who doesn't massacre the English language on a computer screen. Kudos to you for writing really well!
I'm going to assume you two hangout a lot with each other. I don't know what type of guy your best friend is but in my ow... (read in full...)
Why are my colleagues resentful of me?
Q. Im finding recently that my work colleagues are becoming resentful of me. The 1st thing that happened was I got engaged last year and my boyfriend and I designed my engagement ring and had it made. I absolutly love it so when I showed it off ...
A. 25 May 2011: Just ignore them. Its pure jealousy they are acting on. You have a wonderful fiance who loves you and you succeed in what you do. To anyone else, that's a life to be jealous of, they don't care about what it took to get there. That's why they ... (read in full...)
Is is ok for married people to be physically attracted to others?
Q. Is it acceptable or not for a married person to have sexual attractions to other people? I have been married to my wife for about 7 yrs. and she told me that although she is COMPLETELY happy with me sexually and I treat her right AND I give her ...
A. 25 May 2011: Normally I would say that you are in the wrong here because you can't stop someone from being physically attracted to someone else, same as how they can't stop themselves. Its whether or not they act on it and THAT is where you are right to feel ... (read in full...)
What do I do about the abusive part of my relationship?
Q. My boyfriend hits me and gets in my face all of them time and he will not let me do anything at all, what do i do about the abuse part of my relationship?...
A. 25 May 2011: Call the police and tell your family so they can help you. It says your own 13-15 years old, far too young to be caught in something as terrible as this, you need to get help. I don't care how nice he is sometimes, I don't care that he might say ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 2 years refuses to say that he loves me
Q. Hi Everyone My 25yr old boyfriend of 2 years simply refuses to tell me he loves me. I think the last time he said those words was on the first 2 months of our relationship, its been 2 years now and it's really bothering me. I dont want him to say ...
A. 23 May 2011: He has all the right in the world to feel unready to say it. He said it once before but now he thinks he isn't ready to say it again. At least you know he does feel very strongly about you and that is worth a lot.
Isn't it better to stay with him... (read in full...)
How do I talk to my boyfriend about the abortion?
Q. How do I talk to my boyfriend about my abortion? It was a mutual decision that now was not the time, however we've been rowing a lot since. When we sat down to talk earlier today we realized we were both so raw after whats happened. We are usually...
A. 23 May 2011: You start by just telling him that you want to talk to him about it. Tell him and make it explicitly clear that you don't intend to argue, you just want to tell him about everything you feel and for him to do the same. If you feel that it is turning ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I want my boyfriend to think I'm pretty?
Q. Hey, so first I want to put it out there that I'm not a naturally insecure person or one of those people who need compliments in order to function. Anyway, I've been with a guy that I'm absolutely in love with for 8 months. The one thing that b...
A. 22 May 2011: Of course its not weird. You have all the reason to want him to say something, to compliment you but first know that some people just aren't naturally affectionate toward others, vocally at least, no matter how strongly they feel toward them. Could ... (read in full...)
Iv been stuck in a rut all my life with disgusting boyfriends. How do I get out of this and what do I do?
Q. I apologize in advance for how ridiculously long this is. It's an all around vent/question thing and I'd really like some sound advice from anyone who has either gone through this and knows how to get out or would just like to help. Thanks... My f...
A. 22 May 2011: You can just keep looking for the right person. Its hard and its going to wear you out but you have to keep looking if you really want to find the right man, he's out there I swear it. Keep going on blind dates or look for them in places one would ... (read in full...)
My partner cheated on me but I do see he had his reasons, can the trust be re-built?
Q. Ive been in a relationship with a man for 11 years now, for the past 5 years i got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, i have been very ill and over medicated on many meds, and when my partner is home on leave from working at sea, all i do is sleep ...
A. 9 May 2011: You try to defend him? What he did was weak and cruel. You are fighting a disease and quite a debilitating one at that. True, he was alone because you were on meds and asleep, is that a reason to cheat? The answer here is no. There is NEVER a reason ... (read in full...)
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