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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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Am I wrong for wanting to get out of my relationship?
Q. Am I wrong for wanting to get out of my relationship? .... We were together 3 years. He abused me emotionally and physically. Everytime i tried to leave he'd manipulate me into giving him anther chance. This time I didn't let him though he tried ...
A. 9 July 2012: You made the right choice in leaving. What he says now is a result of his current desperation. He needs you back only so that he may abuse you again and again. That is how the cycle goes and how it will always go until he decides he wants to stop ... (read in full...)
I want to marry Bobby someday, but I don't want to rush into anything. What should I do?
Q. Hi there everyone. I haven't posted on here for quite a long time, so I apologise if I'm a bit rusty. To make a long story short, I'll just say my family is unstable to the point where they can hardly take care of me in the basic sense. I have bee...
A. 26 June 2012: If you are uncomfortable you need to tell him. These reasons are perfectly understandable so do not be afraid of telling him that you need to wait a little longer just you you can both be sure of things.
The relationship your friends have is not t... (read in full...)
How to come out from exta marital affair
Q. I've an extra marital affair from last 6months. I'm emotionally connected with him but I don't understand does he really loves me or he is only after physical relationship? He doesn't have a kid nd completed 6yrs. Of his marriage. I have a adopted ...
A. 16 May 2012: You say you and your husband are not connecting physically. Should I assume that there is some emotional connection at least? It does not seem like there is since you are connecting more with this boyfriend of yours than your husband, else you would ... (read in full...)
My partner left his wife to be with me so I got what I wanted in the end, but I cant stop feeling horrible about what we did....
Q. I worked as a nanny for a family with a infant son for the past 2 1/2 years. "Lisa" the mom was a workaholic who loved her social life when she wasnt working, "Rick" the father was very good looking and he knew it and would playfully flirt with ...
A. 11 May 2012: The guilt is to be expected. No one in this situation is faultless, except of course, the child who is the only true victim in all of this.
However, you were only the catalyst that led them to the inevitable. It is far too soon to tell if the guil... (read in full...)
I just don't know what to think anymore!
Q. Ok I had a child 3 years ago. Things didn't work out with his mother but shortly after we split up I fell madly in love with her cousin. Which is also my sons cousin. We have spent the last two years together and everything has been amazing. But we ...
A. 30 March 2012: I can only echo what everyone else here has already told you. The issues that might affect this relationship are more or less trivial and not worth much attention. I highly doubt your son will suffer for it. If you really love this woman, there ... (read in full...)
Negative thoughts are getting in the way of my life
Q. Hi, For the past year or so i have been having really negative thoughts and i am always questioning my looks and personality, i never feel good enough for my boyfriend, i feel worthless and ugly, i hate the way i look and i feel like i don't des...
A. 29 March 2012: Do you know what caused these negative thoughts? You say you used to be a happy person, a different person. Surely there must have been something that began this negative spiral.
For some, it helps to fake confidence and happiness at first, i... (read in full...)
Could my husband really have went to a massage parlor and not have gotten hard?
Q. Here is my dilemma with some background: I've been married almost 21 years. Late last year I had sex with someone else one time. Felt bad and my husband could tell so when he asked I confessed instead of lying. He promptly kicked me out. We ...
A. 29 March 2012: If you have been married for 21 years, I would say that it is very likely the thought of you sleeping with someone else would have been so emotionally overwhelming for him that sexual acts would be extremely difficult. It is not uncommon for things ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend has depression, how do I handle this?
Q. Okay here's the thing, my boyfriend seems depressed lately and I don't know what to do. Recently he's been really distant, not physically, just emotionally. We've been together 2 years now so I knew it was just a phase. However, it seems to be ...
A. 14 March 2012: I think he actually made the right choice. If he truly is going through depression, and I think he is, then being in a relationship might not be the best thing for either of you.
He obviously still cares about you a lot, that is why he's doing th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hit me last night, should I be missing him this much?
Q. I don't know what to my bf hit me last night and here i am sitting here wish he was here with me i still love him but should i be missing him this much? i hate it he just moved in with me and i was in a abusive relationship with my daughters dad and ...
A. 8 March 2012: You should stay away from that man. In an abusive relationship it is typical of the abuser to have broken his victim down, you will miss him perhaps because you fear he is the only one who accepts you anymore. This is not the case. He is only the ... (read in full...)
I led her on and feel horrible now.
Q. I Dated this girl for about 2 months and things weren't going too well for us mainly because she had had a rough past growing up and in past relationships. There always seemed to be something going on and she was massively depressed a lot ...
A. 8 March 2012: I think you should attempt to rectify your wrongs first, for her and for you. Apologize for hurting her this way as you clearly have. Be honest and sincere about everything. After that, I think you should try and stay away.
You obviously cannot h... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has history of violence. Am I worrying too much?
Q. Long story short, I found out over the last couple of days that my boyfriend has a really bad temper. I haven't been dating him for long and i've known hes had a bad temper for a while but i'm now gett...
A. 18 February 2012: He needs to seek help. You are far too young to become entangled in something as unpredictable and dangerous as this. A violent and aggressive person will always be a violent and aggressive person unless they admit it to themselves and realize that ... (read in full...)
I'm so afraid I'm going to cheat on my fiance
Q. I have a great finacee but her sex drive has never matched mine and I'm fine with it...I love her and we've been in love for years were getting married this upcoming March. I masterbate every morning after my girl goes to work (she works in th...
A. 18 February 2012: Words are very very important. Stop telling yourself that you could cheat if you really wanted to. True or not, it isn't constructive to have that notion in mind.
You aren't a bad person for being tempted, you are only human. But you have to stop ... (read in full...)
Is this girl interested? She puts off seeing me but didn't say no
Q. Hi, I just phoned up this girl I have a crush on and I asked her out to dinner (it took a lot of nerve on my part but I won't go into that). When she asked who else is coming I said that I was thinking 'just you and me'. And she said, 'You a...
A. 18 February 2012: It will only be awkward if you allow it to be awkward. See what happens on Friday, until then, keep it casual. There is no reason why school should be awkward.
She seems like she might be interested. See what happens. Good luck.
I hope that h... (read in full...)
I feel like I don't deserve my girlfriend because I'm constantly thinking about dating other girls!
Q. I think I do not deserve my girlfriend. I consistently have thoughts of what it would be like to date a different person. I constantly tell some girls that I wish I could date them, but that that would involve me breaking up with my beautiful angel. ...
A. 9 February 2012: First of all, I definitely think you should stop telling girls that you wish you could date them. True or not, it sends the wrong message about how you feel about your girlfriend and who you are as a person. Do you think you are a good person? Your ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship worth salvaging?
Q. My girlfriend and I got in a fight about a month ago. Things haven't been working too well for about 6 weeks prior, so I told her I wanted to take a break. She asked me why, I said that the relationship was hurting me and I needed some space. S...
A. 9 February 2012: If you two were to get back together, could you promise each other that those problems would not interfere again? A break is good when you need peace and some time to clear your head but what have either of you actually done to fix things? Have you ... (read in full...)
I'm sure there's something wrong, but she won't talk about it
Q. I can't work out what i have done or am doing, i am at my wits end emotionally and its because me and my wife are fighting over pretty much nothing. When you love someone, you know them, almost better than what they know themselves, so you know whe...
A. 9 February 2012: Does she ever mention anything else when she yells or does she yell about the situation only? When you asked her if she was okay, what exactly was she yelling about? What did she say?
I think a little more information is needed. Obviously talking ... (read in full...)
I didn't really care that much, but now I really like her and I am pretty sure she's over me...How do I ask her out?
Q. Well the basics of my problem is that there is this girl that I have sat next to in one of my classes all year and we talk all the time but only in that class and earlier this year I was 100% positive she liked me a lot but for some reason I didn't ...
A. 9 February 2012: Are you sure she was interested in you? Are you sure she isn't interested now? Just ask her out and see what happens.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Am I abandoning my family?
Q. I'd really like some outside opinions on this. I live at home with my parents, and attend school. Recently however, my home life has become extremely chaotic. There are tears, temper tantrums, and angry fights several times a week between my ...
A. 4 February 2012: Moving out is not selfish. They cannot expect you to be their emotional outlet forever and you should not feel as though you have to be. Your parents need to start communicating properly. If they have something to say, instead of confiding in you, ... (read in full...)
The heat wants what the heart wants....so do I tell my married lover how I feel about him knowing he would walk away? Or just keep quiet and carry on witht the affair?
Q. Im hurting and need some advice. I just came out of a horrible divorce and is still going through a nightmare of fighting and possible custody battle with my ex husband. Im trying to get my life back together and doing pretty good. Everything I do ...
A. 1 February 2012: The heart wants what the heart wants. So use your head. What do you expect to happen? Where will this affair lead you if you carry it on? There is an end to everything, the outcome will be heartache, you can either prolong it or end it now.
I hop... (read in full...)
My life is a mess!
Q. So I have a list of issues and I do not deny I need therapy but I am here to vent something...I would love the comments and the advice but I'm not really asking for it, I am but im not. I want guidance but I know what to do I'm educated intelligent ...
A. 28 January 2012: We all need to vent once in a while.
About the questions you asked earlier, questions about whether or not good women exist. Many women ask the same about men and the answer is always the same. Of course there are good people out there, you just... (read in full...)
I've been sleeping with a boy who has a G/f and I'm starting to like him
Q. Hey, I know this is wrong but iv been sleeping with this boy which has a gf. We have been meeting up now and then for the last 4 months, and I admit it is just sex, but I'm starting to like him. I know it's wrong and shouldn't have done it but...
A. 26 January 2012: In your honest opinion, do you really see this progressing in the future? Do you really want someone who cheats? Even if, to him, it doesn't mean anything. Even if, to him, it is just sex.
If you do tell him, what are you expecting him to say or d... (read in full...)
While we were broken up, we both hooked up with other people. Now that we're back together, I cant bear to think of her doing something with someone else!
Q. My girlfriend of 11 months and I broke up around Halloween of last year. We were having issues, I liked her more than she liked me, and I felt I was the only one putting forth effort in the relationship. We were both obviously upset by the ...
A. 26 January 2012: All I can say is that you just have to push through it. Ignore whatever thoughts you might have of that night and eventually you will just forget and let go. It isn't impossible and if you really want to give this real chance, I see no other way. ... (read in full...)
I am 14 and my boyfriend is 15 and we both REALLY want a baby!
Q. I am 14 and my boyfriend is 15 and we both REALLY want a baby!!! What do we do?!?! We talk about getting married and having kids all the time!! What do I do? P.S. We haven't had sex if that's what you are thinking.....
A. 14 November 2011: It is a dream right now, the reality of it would be quite different.
You are both at an age where your hormones are in a flurry. Your bodies are still growing and your minds are still forming. Things will change, one of those things might be... (read in full...)
He makes me feel worthless I don't know why
Q. Hi guys it me again.. Hope you all are doing fine. I need some advice on yet another dysfunctional relationship I have found myself in. After a string of physically abusive relationships I finally split up with the recent one who bit a chunk out of ...
A. 14 November 2011: From what you've written, and how you have written it, it seems as though he's intent on making this a sex-based relationship and yet, it seems he might also be the jealous type. That might explain his rather odd proposition and his behavior. It is ... (read in full...)
He has been violent to me in the past but now is being a dedicated husband. Do I believe him?
Q. So I sit here in what is seemingly the "good times" I should see,"the changes he's made",but I cant help but feel,just stupid for believing him. This started 7 years ago although I didnt realize it until it was too late. He was so charming he ...
A. 28 October 2011: Typical abusive cycle. Each cycle can span over years or months. It might seem like he has changed, but the truth is, without professional help, that pain and hurt will only return and it will only get worse and worse because now he knows you will ... (read in full...)
I am always angry and unhappy. Please help!
Q. my story is too lenthy but i i beg u to be patient and read. and i will be happy if there was a psychologist here who can help. i can't aford one. here's the story: I AM ALWAYS ANGRY AND UNHAPPY. PLEASE HELP ME. Dear Mirror Psychologist, I a...
A. 26 October 2011: I wish to help but I should tell you first, I am not a professional psychologist though I did study the subject for quite some time.
Obviously your misery stems from your insecurities, mainly about your height. It doesn't help that you also fea... (read in full...)
What to do? The Cook and I made out in the back room of the restaurant. Do we continue? He's married.
Q. I work at a restaurant as a server. I get along with everyone I work with fairly well, but the cooks exceptionally. All the cooks are men (but I've always been more partial to having male friends than females) Somehow I managed to attract the atte...
A. 6 October 2011: Do you know how many affairs have begun with one person telling the other that they are unhappy in their marriage? As if somehow that was going to make it all alright. You DO know what to do. Choose integrity and decency above the urge to surrender ... (read in full...)
I am worried about telling a man I had a boob job in case he is repulsed. How do men feel about breast implants?
Q. Hi, I am going to re-send this question as I have only had one answer and the answer that I did get only gave one - very strong - personal bias. Does anyone feel differently about this issue please? If the woman in question was otherwise a perfect ...
A. 13 September 2011: Whoever is so sensitive to things like this, so much so that they would be repulsed, in my experience at least, is not worth it. You had one very small surgery. Aside from the obvious physical change, what else has it done?
Who would judge yo... (read in full...)
What is wrong with the male species?
Q. I would prefer if Men answered this but any answers I get i will be grateful I,m sick and tired of men using me. I only ever kissed 3 men before and when we text they just seem less interested and then they just stop texting me. Now i can admit ...
A. 31 July 2011: This happened to one of best friends. In all honesty, she's overweight but she's funny, lively, friendly, caring and basically everything a good man would want in a good woman (with the exception of the more superficial qualities which she is driven ... (read in full...)
Should I Dump her or is it just another ego boost for me?
Q. I wanna dump my girlfriend. We are together for 18 months. She is nice , beautiful and there’s hardly anything I can find wrong in her but wanna dump her to make it 1-1. My first girlfriend had dumped 6 months before she came into my life . S...
A. 21 July 2011: If you dump this girl, do you think you will ever find another like her? What then, if you leave her, are you so sure you won't regret it in the end?
There have been so many people who have, in essence, done what you are thinking of doing and they... (read in full...)
Is leaving something to the imagination actually a way to attract men?
Q. Hi guys any insight here, I asked my boyfriend why he thinks my friend gets so much attention from guys on our nights out compared to my other friend. And was a pretty confusing answer to what i expected... Both girls are absolutely model...
A. 18 July 2011: People get interested because they are curious. In personality or sexual attraction, sparking curiosity will usually provoke some sort of interest.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Have you ever left someone even though you loved them deeply, since you just had different beliefs?
Q. I come from a big family. We were very close but I feel a little far from them now. My boyfriend was an only child. There is a birthday at least every 2 months in the family, and especially if it's the kids we like to have a party. There are also...
A. 18 July 2011: You're family comes first. I don't know how long you've been with your boyfriend but judging from your age, he does not have a right to demand these things from you and if he does, what is he sacrificing for you? He demands that you do these things, ... (read in full...)
So what do guys really want?
Q. So what do guys really want? last night I went out with my friends to a pub/club and they were projecting music videos. Of course as "club music" videos go, they all had "hot" girls in them with skimpy clothes. My guy friends were all commenting ...
A. 17 July 2011: I'm going to offer my opinion. Again, this is my own opinion that I've developed from my own experience, so it might go against what other people have said.
I hang around a lot of guys. In a large group, every guy talks about sex and hot girls an... (read in full...)
At times I just feel like I should just let myself be used, but at least then I'll have somefriends...
Q. dear Cupid, I have a problem finding quality friends. It seems with in my circle of aquaintances of people I know the drama queens, mooches/users,pill poppers,selfish,materialistic, boastful/self important and just the average jerk seem to have all...
A. 15 July 2011: Whatever you do, don't let yourself be used. You just need to meet the right people. You can meet them anywhere. Be open to meeting new people, not everyone is as sordid as the people you're apparently surrounded by. Letting yourself get used isn't ... (read in full...)
I am 24 and planning to lose my virginity to a prostitute. Any tips for a first-timer?
Q. Well I'm 24 and still a virgin and really tired of waiting. So I'm looking into losing my virginity to a prostitute in a few weeks. It's legal where I live and weekly STD testing are mandatory for prostitutes. I've given up on finding a girlfr...
A. 11 July 2011: No offence but, its extremely foolish of you to think that nobody knows what you're going through. You think you're one of the rare ones that have never felt what its like to be in love? You are so wrong. Not even close to rare. Everybody feels ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I'm too emotional, and I'm worried if I don't change she's going to leave me! How can I get a handle on this?
Q. Well this is a kind of weird one I guess, it affects me a lot actually, and I want to know how to improve on it. My girlfriend said to me a while ago that I am too emotional and she doesn't like that, and I can't help but think if I don't change t...
A. 11 July 2011: Why should you? You can't help feeling what you feel and its wrong to ask someone to. Is this girl really worth changing for? Its a part of who you are and if she doesn't like it then why is she with you now? More importantly, why are you with her? ... (read in full...)
I've taken custody of my younger brother, and we're having major problems. Help!
Q. I've recently taken custody of my younger brother because of my mums mental health problems but I'm finding it really difficult. We're constantly arguing over things like his his homework and he just keeps saying that I've changed and that I'm being ...
A. 11 July 2011: I don't think he's used to looking up to his sister. He'll get used to it. He's still young and growing up. It is expected when something like this happens.
Try sitting down and talking to him about it. You're obviously trying very hard to take ... (read in full...)
I don't wan't to leave my wife, but I have very strong feelings for this other woman. Is it possible to love two women and not hurt anyone?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, but appreciate everyone's candor and returns on their experience. I am and have been happily married for 20 years now with my french wife in Paris. I love my wife, we are close and loving and I am proud ...
A. 9 July 2011: Someone will get hurt here. Be it this other woman, your wife or you. I think whatever you choose, you are bound to be wounded if even just a little bit. That's the truth. Make the right choice here. You have a wife and children who you obviously ... (read in full...)
I know we're young, but I want a baby! Is this a good idea?
Q. im 16 and i want to have a baby me and my partner been together some years now and im ready to have a bby i know a baby comes with alot of expenses but we both are working and he's a senior and im a junior. and we have a lot of money saved up ...
A. 7 July 2011: Definitely not. You don't need a baby right now, trust me, you may think you are mature, you may think you are ready but you aren't. There are people far older than you who have their first child and realize that they were unprepared so it is best ... (read in full...)
I need to tell my parents that I'm pregnant, but I don't know how!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs and we started having sex 2 yrs ago. im 16 and now im pregnant. ive told my partner he's going to do all he can my only problem is how do i tell my parents?...
A. 7 July 2011: The next time you get a chance, tell them that there is something they have to know. Preferably when they're sat down and calm. If you can, I think it would be a good idea for your boyfriend to be there as well so they know he is going to take ... (read in full...)
My ex husband of 5 years won't take no for an answer, how can I get him to stop trying to have sex with me?
Q. My ex husband and I get along very well as parents. We have been apart for 5 years. I am in a serious relationship with another man. Several times since we parted he has come onto me sexually and I have told him no, that it isn't gonna happen. Once ...
A. 6 July 2011: He needs help. I think it best you stay away from him as much as possible. I know you are doing what you can for your children, so they will have parents but honestly, if he keeps going on like this, it will all burn to the ground. You don't need ... (read in full...)
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