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Latest articles:

Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 18 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

< Prev345678910111213Next > [166 pages, 6612 answers]

How much is too much in a relationship?

Q.   Hi all, I've been in a relationship for about 8 years, and it's had a lot of ups and downs. For a while now, more downs than ups, I think he and I would both agree. We had been long distance for a while, came together for graduate school which wa...

A.   26 February 2014: It's not that difficult, OP, to work things out. The hard part is not letting emotion and/or hope of things getting better to dictate your decisions. What you need to work out is if this relationship is part of your future or are you just tryi... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't last long in bed!

Q.   Me and my common-law husband been together for 5 years and just had our first born, and he is still releasing himself to early, maybe 1-2 mins max, and i dont get to finish or sometimes anywhere near finish. He never had this problem before with his ...

A.   16 February 2014: Try a cock ring too, OP, that can help. There are lots of things that can help with premature ejaculation. Mentally he could picture his mother or think about sports or something too. You have plenty of options and it's fixable, seeing as he... (read in full...)

Should I feel guilty about what I did?

Q.   I think i already know the answer to this but i would like to hear what other people think. Me and this guy ended up having a sexual relationship which lasted about 2 years, off and on. He lived quite a distance from me but we'd meet up when he ...

A.   14 February 2014: "She hasn't experienced any pain and is perfectly happy, respected and treated like a human being by him" That's just a jealous fantasy and you know it. Perfectly happy? Married to a guy who has had an affair? he respects a woman he's being c... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   14 February 2014: Just to add. In my experience the people who get hurt most by people's opinions of the object of their insecurity are the ones that look for such opinions to provide them with validation. Validation comes from inside, it comes from learning to embr... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   14 February 2014: 'hang on, this isn't right, people are getting effected by all these nasty comments' That's on the person. It's the sensitive person's job not to offend themselves by reading comments they know will contain things that will hurt their feelings. Fo... (read in full...)

Is this normal for FWB?

Q.   I got chatting to a guy online nearly 4 months now , at first he told me he was single but eventually he told me he wasn't and he has a daughter . I'm ok with this it's his life , he lives miles away from me but we decided to meet up . He drive over ...

A.   14 February 2014: To keep his side-pussy sweet. The guy obviously doesn't want to lose his easy lay, so he's putting it on thick. No deeper meaning really, just tell it's fine if you don't message each other every day, your legs will still be open and he'll calm ... (read in full...)

Should I feel guilty about what I did?

Q.   I think i already know the answer to this but i would like to hear what other people think. Me and this guy ended up having a sexual relationship which lasted about 2 years, off and on. He lived quite a distance from me but we'd meet up when he ...

A.   14 February 2014: OP it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a weak fool. But you already know that. You don't feel bad for her because you see her as a competitor not a woman who is a victim of you and her partner fucking her over. You've objectif... (read in full...)

After four years everything he does irritates me

Q.   I have been with my partner for 4 years. we Live Together and until towards the end of last year everything seemed fine with us. recently though everything he does/or doesnt do rather irritates the life out of me. he no longer comes to bed at ...

A.   14 February 2014: Unless he's always been like this it sounds like a rut. If he's not working then he may have gotten into a cycle of depression and while it is something that can be worked past with time and patience, I think it's unfair for you have to have to live ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't last long in bed!

Q.   Me and my common-law husband been together for 5 years and just had our first born, and he is still releasing himself to early, maybe 1-2 mins max, and i dont get to finish or sometimes anywhere near finish. He never had this problem before with his ...

A.   14 February 2014: "never had this problem before with his ex's" How do you know? You say that like it's fact when it's not. When a guy says "that's never happened with my exes" it's quite simply a bullshit line to put the blame on you or brush it off as not a prob... (read in full...)

He keeps promising to spend more time with me but never does!

Q.   This is kind of hard to explain. For the last month or so my boyfriend has been distant and doing his own thing. He's been hanging out more with friends and just spending more time by himself or doing other things. That's great and all except f...

A.   13 February 2014: A whole day or 2? Oh my god how do you cope? Your life must be so empty and shallow right now. I say it that way because it's not that big of a deal. On its own, OP, I don't see it as much of an issue as you seem to think it is. You'd need mor... (read in full...)

Is this normal for FWB?

Q.   I got chatting to a guy online nearly 4 months now , at first he told me he was single but eventually he told me he wasn't and he has a daughter . I'm ok with this it's his life , he lives miles away from me but we decided to meet up . He drive over ...

A.   13 February 2014: No FWB's aren't in relationships with other people. Plus FWB's don't sell each other a line of bullshit like he sells you. The best part of fuck buddies is the lack of complication, being completely honest about it just being sex etc. So you're n... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   13 February 2014: "I don't think anyone should have a say on how anyone else lives unless it's hurting someone!" Exactly but there's also no point in dismissing something that works for people either just because others may not like it. There can be more than one... (read in full...)

I'm affectionate when drunk but not so much when sober. Is this guy just confused by my behavior?

Q.   Hey guys this guy I've been dating told me he is completely besotted by me. What does this mean? I feel like the next day he was distant and cold, he kept saying I clearly didn't want him there which I did. My friends think this all could be because ...

A.   13 February 2014: "needy" that's the word I was looking for, this guy could well be a bit too needy.... (read in full...)

I'm affectionate when drunk but not so much when sober. Is this guy just confused by my behavior?

Q.   Hey guys this guy I've been dating told me he is completely besotted by me. What does this mean? I feel like the next day he was distant and cold, he kept saying I clearly didn't want him there which I did. My friends think this all could be because ...

A.   13 February 2014: I have to disagree with the others OP. Unless you're exceptionally cold while sober, which I doubt, I have a feeling this guy is a bit of whiny bitch or something happened which he's not mature enough to discuss. Says he's besotted and then acts... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   13 February 2014: Sageoldguy1465 I think teaching people to be immune to criticism that's not directed at them would be better way of advancing the human condition. Instead of promoting hyper-sensitivity to everything and censoring everything you say because ... (read in full...)

I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?

Q.   I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...

A.   13 February 2014: First off you never have to tell any woman you've been with an escort, it's none of their business and frankly none of them ever ask either. Just say you lost your virginity to a one night stand. I see nothing wrong with going for a well rese... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   13 February 2014: Seeing as you're pretty much referring to my reply, the answer is simple. You can literally find fault in everything and criticise everything. The point I was making was to show her the flaws in the things she deems to be better than what she has ... (read in full...)

We haven't dated long what should I get him for Valentine's Day?

Q.   Hi everybody, This might strike some as being a daft question, but I'll ask away! I've recently started seeing this guy (ie. 3 dates) and I know he wants to take me out on Valentines Day. However, I don't know what to get him if anything - it...

A.   12 February 2014: A hand job. He's a guy, OP we don't do Valentines gifts, we give them. Look at the list of all the traditional gifts. Chocolates, flowers, teddy bears they're all for women. Valentines is for women not men. We just use it to impress women wh... (read in full...)

Is it normal for female friends to tease their male friends with their breasts?

Q.   Is it normal for female friends to tease their male friends with their breasts? Since I met them in college, my two female friends tend to mess with me. They know I can be a bit, what's the word...embarrassed when I see their cleavage or something. ...

A.   11 February 2014: Seriously? You're complaining because women are showing you their boobs? Poor guy, I can't imagine the emotional torture you must be feeling. Want a hug? Sorry, OP, I couldn't resist, but the point to my condescension is you're being a bit too upti... (read in full...)

I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest but he turned it against me

Q.   I recently met someone and felt it right to be upfront about the fact I had ( several years ago now) been involved in an abusive relationship. I left that relationship with nothing, emotionally,financially and tbh was completely broken and had to ...

A.   11 February 2014: I read "several years ago" as 7 years in length. Frankly it makes it worse that something that happened so long ago is still that important that you use it to define yourself. You're more than just a victim, OP, show us who you are as a woman be... (read in full...)

I thought I was doing the right thing by being honest but he turned it against me

Q.   I recently met someone and felt it right to be upfront about the fact I had ( several years ago now) been involved in an abusive relationship. I left that relationship with nothing, emotionally,financially and tbh was completely broken and had to ...

A.   11 February 2014: 'Hey, just to let you in on something. I'm damaged goods. My past is still very much a part of my present because I've labelled myself a survivor and you're going to have to put up with being punished for what my ex did to me to date me. I'm an ... (read in full...)

Do I just tell her outright that I like her?

Q.   Ok so there is a girl at work who I get on with really well, we have loads in common and we are really on the "same page" with all our thoughts/opinions. I'm 22 and she is 19. I like her, but she has a boyfriend of two years. All of my colleagues ...

A.   11 February 2014: Oh jesus, there's one born every minute. OP have you never had this happen as a teenager or something? Because that's when most guys learn the whole "my boyfriend is so shit, why can't he be like you" damsel in distress routine. I know I did, ... (read in full...)

I'm panicked about our age difference!

Q.   Just need your opinions and advice. I met an older man online 2yrs ago and we've hit it off. I was not ready for a relationship at the time due to fear of being hurt again mainly but I'm over that now. I felt like I'd led him on but was honest about ...

A.   11 February 2014: People don't need to be included in this at all. Just maintain privacy and see if you actually work or not first. You're going to be taking your time with each other to get to know each other intimately, keep that stuff private until you're both... (read in full...)

Does he like me or are we nothing to each other?

Q.   Hey guys so there is this guy and he's 9 years older than me anyway he's is constantly hot and cold like it's okay for him to say he likes me a lot and misses me but if I say it back he's like stop rushing into things like we've known each other a ...

A.   11 February 2014: The guy is a big baby, OP. Not a man. He's definitely only in this to get his dick wet and gets pissed off at you if you don't provide him with that. He's not hot and cold he's just trying to manipulate you into giving him sex. OP you can't tr... (read in full...)

Help for giving a second chance?

Q.   So, my ex and I have decided to give things a second chance after being apart for about 7 months. We both recognise we made mistakes and both still feel strong for each other, even if it's not quite how it was when we first got together. We both ...

A.   11 February 2014: There are no rules it's works different for everyone. Just take your time in terms of emotion, ease yourself into it. The most important thing though, is that the reason you broke up in the first place has to be resolved. A second chance is not a... (read in full...)

Is it unusual for a man of his age to take lots of photographs of himself?

Q.   This might seem like an odd question, but it's in the context of a lot of other behaviour that I won't go into. Is it unusual for a man in his 30's or 40's to take lots of photographs of himself - I mean lots of him doing activities but a...

A.   11 February 2014: It's a bit unusual but I don't think it's anything negative. Sounds like he's just an artist type, whose creativity is egocentric, focussed on him, his place in the world and it's something he puts deep thought into. I carry pictures of my fami... (read in full...)

Why am I so weak and vulnerable?

Q.   I am a woman going through a separation from my alcoholic husband who put me last for years... I moved out and met someone who was married.. I knew it was wrong.. I knew.. You always know when something isn't right but he wanted children with me. He ...

A.   11 February 2014: "why did he give me a dream about a child?? How can someone be so cruel?" To get your knickers off. He wasn't being cruel, he was just selling you a line to get you to sleep with him. The real cruelty here is you knew what he was doing, you knew... (read in full...)

Can dating a guy you don't find attractive turn out well?

Q.   I need to know this answer, please don't judge me as I am already aware that I am shallow and I'm sure i'm not the only person who does this. But I don't want to make a big mistake so please advice!! I met this guy, he's almost too perfect in p...

A.   10 February 2014: There's nothing shallow about it, attraction is important. It depends though how much or how little there is. I mean is he someone you feel you could have sex with or is he just too ugly? OP if there's nothing about his looks you find endeari... (read in full...)

Horrible relationship with my mother, what should I do?

Q.   Hi maybe somebody here can help. I have a very serious and personal problem. Through out my whole life my mother unfortunately has been into drugs and alcohol, it's pretty bad. With all due respect, my mother is not really a good person because o...

A.   10 February 2014: Respect her wishes and mind your own business when it comes to her life. Remember who the mother is here OP and stop giving her shit (trying to help). It's not on you to help a person who doesn't want help, and if she's nasty and abusive part of ... (read in full...)

I am not getting what I need emotionally from my girlfriend. We have already spoken about it; what else can I do?

Q.   Hello to all. I'll jump right to the question. I'm gay and have been with my girlfriend just over a year. I love her with my whole heart, but lately, I've not been getting what I need emotionally, and it's causing me some issues. I'm pretty l...

A.   10 February 2014: I'm not getting this either OP. You say you're low maintenance yet you "need" your partner to be bubbling with excitement every time she talks to you or you doubt she views you as important? She needs to jump for joy every time and is not allowed a ... (read in full...)

Do you think he might like me? Or do you think he still likes the other girl? Why on Earth did he tell me he's interested in her if he did all of those nice things for me?

Q.   I've know of this guy for 3 years through a girlfriend of mine. I began speaking to him on facebook recently and I mentioned to him I had a recent breakup. As soon as I told him this, he came to see me for the weekend because he said he wanted to ...

A.   10 February 2014: Only he can answer your questions but don't take him being a friend trying to cheer up another friend after a break up as meaning anything. Frankly he'd be a fool to make a move on a woman just out of a relationship anyway. If you can't handle h... (read in full...)

Should we stay 'just good friends' at the expense of my heart, or should I cut & run, even if it hurts both of us?

Q.   I'm romantically interested in a guy who isn't over his ex, who left him in extremely abrupt circumstances approx. 4 months ago. We get along brilliantly and he's the first person I've ever truly 'clicked' with in terms of personality. The problem ...

A.   10 February 2014: "Settling for make-believe friendship to substitute for what you really want." Exactly OP. Your choice is between ripping off the band aid, or slowly but surely taking it of piece by piece each little hair producing its own sharp pain. Both choi... (read in full...)

I promised my Mom I would get her a new house someday but now I don't want to!

Q.   I promised my mom I would get her a house someday and now, she wants one. She just got re-married and he was bankrupt. She needs me for the credit etc. But I don't want to. I only meant that I'd save up to get her a house when I was able but now, I ...

A.   10 February 2014: The promise was "some day". That day is not now, that day is when you choose and when you can. Just be honest with her or give her some cash to put towards a house but not break you financially. You didn't promise to move in with her so just say... (read in full...)

So what is wrong with me and is there any way I can change this or at least become happier?

Q.   Dear anonymous, I am writing to you because I can't deal with the pain and constant change of emotions I am currently going through. I cannot fully remember the last time I was truly happy. I am however taking my a levels which I realise is adding ...

A.   10 February 2014: There's nothing wrong with any of the things you describe. I can't see from any of those things any real reason to be depressed. Your height is fine, a levels are just exams without any real meaning, not eating wasn't a great idea but I assume you ... (read in full...)

He's sweet and caring. He's also 17 years older than I…

Q.   I'm about to introduce my family to a man I'd like to be with. He's sweet and caring. He's also 17 years older than I. My parents are liberal but I think even they'll balk at the age difference. I want my parents to accept him but I have no idea how ...

A.   10 February 2014: "to a man I'd like to be with" What does that mean? Are you not with him now? Are you looking for permission to start dating him or something? My advice would be to try out a relationship with him for a while first, see if you and he actually ... (read in full...)

Comfort zones and new relationships- I'm confused!

Q.   I'm 20 and have little experience with relationships and that experience isn't necessarily good. The first 'hook-up' I had left me feeling heartbroken and used at 17. At the time I naively thought we were in a relationship but little did I know ...

A.   10 February 2014: It's normal to doubt something in which you're so conflicted and don't want to do the smart thing here, because you somehow think it makes it less fun. OP you talk about wanting to get carried away in the moment but then you can't deal with the cons... (read in full...)

We're trying again, this time without it officially being a relationship, but he's wanting more than I'm comfortable giving

Q.   I recently split with my boyfriend a month ago as the relationship was breaking down constant arguements and my lack of trust. I tried to sort it with him and he didn't show up and not a word was said. So I decided to end it. We met up a week later ...

A.   10 February 2014: It didn't work the first time and it clearly won't work this time either. What I wonder OP is why you decided to "try again" when you hadn't even figured out the cause or the solution to what went wrong the first time? I mean you just dived ri... (read in full...)

How much is too much in a relationship?

Q.   Hi all, I've been in a relationship for about 8 years, and it's had a lot of ups and downs. For a while now, more downs than ups, I think he and I would both agree. We had been long distance for a while, came together for graduate school which wa...

A.   10 February 2014: It depends why you're fighting. It may be a bad habit to question your relationship after one fight, but after long term bickering it's more than justified because it's leaving a bitter taste in your mouth and sounds like it's spoiling things for ... (read in full...)

Should I work it out with the father?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and we now have two children together. Our emotional situation has been constantly insecure. I learned early on he had been lying to me about a porn addiction and we tried hard to work through ...

A.   10 February 2014: I'll never get how women in your situation think it's somehow a better option to raise children in a home where there is violence and a very toxic relationship. Staying together so your children can see you get abused and ground down into an unha... (read in full...)

Is this a stupid idea, and am I being selfish?

Q.   My live in boyfriend wants to spend £8000 of his own savings on a car. He already has a car and this is a 2 litre car that he will only drive at weekends. We live in a flat so we have no garage to park it in. We have talked about getting a ho...

A.   10 February 2014: To be honest neither of you are being selfish, he just wants to buy a toy with some of his money and while you can express your opinion on that it's his money he can do what he likes. Neither of you are right or wrong here. While you may view it a... (read in full...)

How do you act when you and your ex are in the same event?

Q.   My bf of 8 months broke up with me around 6 months ago, because he thinks "we are comfortable but it doesnt mean it's gonna go anywhere...he's been thinking for a few weeks and that I am getting obsessed with the relationship...we havent seen each ...

A.   7 February 2014: I don't "act". If I see them I say hello and keep walking or make small talk and then keep walking. It's just an ex, a bit awkward but no big deal. Just relax and enjoy the show. Try not to get too drunk either, if you think drunken texts are bad ... (read in full...)

Why would someone want to throw their future away?

Q.   This isn't a problem as such, but its something i've been pondering on for a really long time and I wondered if maybe anyone here could give their own opinion on it. I live in a very small town, there isn't to...

A.   7 February 2014: That used to be me. It took me until I was 27 before I did anything people like you would consider "meaningful", i.e. become a working drone who worries about their future prospects and never truly gets to enjoy the moment because they're always ... (read in full...)

Feeling guilty about bad decisions I've made

Q.   Hey I'm a 17 year old girl and I'm in a relationship with a 25 year old man who I am breaking up with on Saturday. I saw controlling signs before but now I've really seen them, I actually feel afraid of him. We have only been together for 3 months ...

A.   7 February 2014: The only thing I have to add to all this is that you should focus on yourself for a while once you've finished with this guy, OP. Put the idea of relationships and men on hold for a while until you've come to terms with feeling this way about sex ... (read in full...)

How do I forget what happened to me?

Q.   I'd like some advice because i'm feeling kind of confused about something that happened in my past. I used to be in what people call a sort of "friends with benefits" situation. Although, in all honesty, he was never really a friend to me. It...

A.   6 February 2014: I'm confused, how long ago did this happen and how is it such a big thing for you still? I'm not trying to play down the emotional impact this has had on you OP, in that sense it is a big deal worth taking seriously and dealing with, but the even... (read in full...)

Why do women at night clubs dress provocatively?

Q.   Why do the girls at the clubs dress like sluts?? We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. One had a dress on so short that her ass was showing and she bent over a few times. Do they really need that much attention?...

A.   6 February 2014: Because they're not stuck up, joyless prudes. The whole idea of clubs is to display yourself to potential mates, dance, have fun, get drunk, get high and let loose. They do it because they enjoy it and it's appropriate dress for the occasion. Prob... (read in full...)

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