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Latest articles:

Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 19 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

< Prev345678910111213Next > [171 pages, 6814 answers]

Are these the signs of a friend or a man who is interested in more?

Q.   A man acts in the following ways with me: Always pays most attention to me in a group situation to the point where if we are all sitting and lingering after a discussion and some people leave and others stay but then I stand up to go, he will imme...

A.   9 April 2014: Yeah, I think you're reaching here, OP. I see nothing in this, except a guy who knows you've been through hell and wants to help you succeed in your post grad. I echo the counselling sentiment. Your college surely has support services, pop in for ... (read in full...)

A little lost, hurt and vulnerable right now... Help?

Q.   Hi Everyone. First and foremost, thank you for reading this. I’m feeling a little lost, hurt and vulnerable right now, and I could really do with some wise words if you might be so kind. I had a partner (we’re both female) on and off over the...

A.   9 April 2014: It's only been 48 hours, OP, it's literally too soon to give you any advice other than to stay strong, cry with your family, cry with your friends and do not, under any circumstances get in contact with her again. Brush your teeth, get out of bed ... (read in full...)

Why can't she just wake up and see life away from this idiot?

Q.   Why do people stay with abusers? Especially alcoholics who get nasty when they drink? I have a friend in this situation, she is married but they have no children and it would be straightforward for her to leave but all she does is complain and get ...

A.   9 April 2014: OP with all due respect you don't have an inside view as to what their relationship is like, only what she says and in terms of abuse 2 or 3 times a month is not high on the scale, nor does it seem like he physically abuses her. OP you say she'... (read in full...)

Do people tend to stick with life plans they made early on, or do other priorities start to take over?

Q.   This is a very brief question I have, but how many of you stuck to life plans that you made in your teens? I stuck to the same job I wanted in my early teens and went to the university that I wanted to go to in my teens, but I know it's highly u...

A.   9 April 2014: I never made any life plans, never saw the point in looking to future and living for the future. I'll never get where people acquire this idea that life is about making a plan and then spending your life trying to achieve that. The idea that some... (read in full...)

I am a gay female and feeling very confused!

Q.   I am a gay female and feeling very confused. I was in a relationship with my ex for 5 years she was my first love but for the last two years of the relationship I was very unhappy and could not see a future . I hate to admit it but I cheated with ...

A.   9 April 2014: OP first off out of respect for your new partner you should not be allowing your ex to send you any kind of "messages". That's called emotional cheating, you're not allowed to let people romance you while with someone. So yes, tell her you're spoken ... (read in full...)

Do men find a curved tummy a turn off?

Q.   I was wondering if men find a curved tummy a turn off? I'm not overweight by any means (although I used to be), nor am I particularly thin. I'm probably relatively average for girls my age in my country (about size 10, 5ft7/170cm, 65kg/143lb)but my ...

A.   9 April 2014: I love soft bellies, OP. I prefer them over flat ones because you may be surprised to hear but most flat ones I've come across belonged to women so obsessed with their bodies that they were chores. Couldn't eat anything fun, always were so fuss... (read in full...)

Are these the signs of a friend or a man who is interested in more?

Q.   A man acts in the following ways with me: Always pays most attention to me in a group situation to the point where if we are all sitting and lingering after a discussion and some people leave and others stay but then I stand up to go, he will imme...

A.   9 April 2014: I think Tisha's may be right. OP "you look well" is a throwaway compliment that means nothing and you know it. It's a platitude. I see nothing romantic towards you. I'd check out your ass too if you were my friend and I'm married. It means no... (read in full...)

Is it possible to immediately go from being in a long-term relationship to being just friends?

Q.   Is it possible to immediately go from being in a long term relationship to being just friends? This guy who is interested in me tells me that he is over his ex with whom he's been living with for several years. They've just broken up a mont...

A.   9 April 2014: Are you leaving out the in-between romance stuff here, OP, or did he just out of nowhere ask you to be his girlfriend? For that reason alone I'd say no but a month out of a 7 year relationship, no chance in hell. I just think it's strange someone ... (read in full...)

Is my FWB falling for me?

Q.   I have been in a fwb relationship for almost two months now.he generally emails me throughout the day to see how I am doing or just random talk through emails. I really connect with this man and am catching feelings. If he wasn't feeling the same ...

A.   8 April 2014: None of these are signs he is falling for you. It's called "friends" with benefits. He's allowed to be your friend and be in contact in other ways. You're thinking of fuck buddies. They only meet up for sex and that's it. There's only one sign a g... (read in full...)

Should I tell a girl I like her even though she has a boyfriend now?

Q.   I have liked this girl for over a year almost 2. I am 25 she's in her 30's. We have got along well, she has always given me those "looks" she always laughs when she's talking to me and can be touchy. Thing is I wasn't sure as she's kinda flirty with ...

A.   8 April 2014: "its common knowledge that she has had multiple affairs in the past...I have no agenda" Sure thing, OP. This woman who wasn't relationship material now suddenly seems much more worthy of opening up to now that she has a boyfriend, nice coin... (read in full...)

Feeling hurt and shocked ... would you forgive this lie in a longterm relationship?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we are very happy and close, he is my best friend. We are also very loyal to each other, we don't flirt with others and hardly ever go out drinking without each other. We usually only see each other on we...

A.   8 April 2014: I don't think it's messed up to the point where it can't be resolved I just think you failed to adapt your rules to factor in how long you've been together and the change in circumstances. Army life is very different and it was a different time... (read in full...)

This incident made me question whether our core values are in sync

Q.   I feel very disappointed in my girlfriend of almost 4 years yesterday, but I don't think she understands the core issue (or maybe it's not an issue). We are 29 and 28. We were in a car driving to a birthday event about an hour away with my gir...

A.   8 April 2014: And what did you and the sister give him, OP? If it was nothing then you're worse than your girlfriend because you claim to believe one thing but didn't actually act on it. At least she follows through with her beliefs, she was hungry, so she kept... (read in full...)

Would it be better to take anything I can get or is being conscious of compatibility a good thing?

Q.   In high school, I was an overweight awkward boy who had no chance of getting with any girl. At the end of junior year I slimmed down a lot, changed my style, started working out to this day and I keep going with it. I had a girlfriend for a bit over ...

A.   8 April 2014: No it wouldn't be good to go for anything you can get. That would be as unfair on the girl as you're being on yourself right now. What if she falls in love with you and you still feel nothing? That wouldn't be nice at all seeing as you knew from the ... (read in full...)

Why is he pushing me to drink alcohol? Is there something weird about his actions?

Q.   i have been seeing this guy for a little while now and we met at the club, and i was drinking a little and just being fun. ( no sexual stuff involved.) After that I've noticed that everytime we go out, and alcohol is present he pushes me to drink...

A.   8 April 2014: "Please, do it for me so you'll be more likely to sleep with me." Is what I first thought seeing as you haven't done anything sexual yet. Better off not assuming anything though, OP, I used to be like that too. It's not that I wanted to take adva... (read in full...)

He seems to have a 'type' and I'm not it, should I be concerned?

Q.   Ok quick question that needs some honest answers .... If a woman is with a man and he is often commenting in women he thinks are attractive and every single one of those seem like a similar type which happens to be nothing like her ... Does she have ...

A.   8 April 2014: To be honest, OP, a man who regularly comments on other women in that way is inconsiderate as hell or immature, unless of course the lady he's with is the same way. This is something you need to discuss with him. Some guys have a type and they... (read in full...)

I look so long at the photos all I see are the flaws, is this one of those OCD issues?

Q.   This isn't a relationship problem, but more of one that I can't figure out if it's an issue mentally or if it's something other people experience and is normal... I've noticed over the last few months that I'm starting to really grow negative di...

A.   8 April 2014: It's easy, OP, photos are a really an odd vision of ourselves that we don't normally see. When we look in the mirror our reflection is reversed for example, the lighting is more natural etc. I don't know what it is about pictures but I look pret... (read in full...)

Why do my relationships never work out but then with the next girl the guy dates they work out fine?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I keep getting into relationships that burn out at around 6 months. Afterwards, the guy seems to move on quickly and find their ideal match, and is completely different with the new partner to how they were when we were dating.The ...

A.   7 April 2014: OP have you posted about this before? Seems you have. You're seeing what you want to see. Of course their next relationship is going to seem better because you feel you've failed. You don't have a front row seat in their relationship so the idea... (read in full...)

I support my boyfriend financially, so why does he still complain?

Q.   Why is he always complaining about money and his life? I'm tired:( So my boyfriend had to stop working because his visa expired and he has to wait till he gets his renewed one. He didn't save up while he was working so I've being supporting hi...

A.   7 April 2014: Why not? You're pretty much his mother at this stage, and boys complain to their mothers no matter how much they support them. He complains because it's easier to complain than to do something about life. OP for a lot of people just complain... (read in full...)

Feeling hurt and shocked ... would you forgive this lie in a longterm relationship?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, we are very happy and close, he is my best friend. We are also very loyal to each other, we don't flirt with others and hardly ever go out drinking without each other. We usually only see each other on we...

A.   7 April 2014: OP why is this such a big deal that he felt the need to lie in the first place are you that strict about him not being allowed to go clubbing or something? OP something's wrong here with how this whole thing went down. Why would he feel shame and ... (read in full...)

We had one threesome and now my partner wants to do it and I don't!

Q.   Hi Ive been dating a guy for a little over a year now. We see each other every weekend and once maybe twice through the week. We have an amazing sex life and we enjoy each others company, we have the same interests and everything is just...

A.   7 April 2014: Tisha's right. Of course he's not going to understand because you haven't told him. Just be open and honest with him that it was a one off and is not going to happen again. ... (read in full...)

I want to end the relationship without causing too much trouble

Q.   I'm in such a mess and it's my own fault. I met a guy whilst on holiday in Spain 6 years ago and we fell for each other immediately. We had a LDR for a few years and then he came to live here in the Uk and found himself a job teaching (he...

A.   7 April 2014: It's not your own fault, if you could make yourself love him you would, you can't help how you feel. OP it's time to bite the bullet and the way you make sure it's as painless as possible is by sticking to your guns and not changing your mind once... (read in full...)

Friend/housemate problem, I don't know where to go from here.

Q.   Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles, So my problem involves a fellow housemate and me. A few weeks ago one of my housemates gave out to me for his misinterpretation of an article that I was telling him about. My other housemate joined in as well and it felt ...

A.   5 April 2014: I agree, I think you completely failed in this battle of wills. You chickened out at every stage instead of fighting your corner and you even went so far as to communicate with her on Facebook because you couldn't handle doing it in person. FYI: ... (read in full...)

Have I ruined my reputation by going on a dating site? Did I need to defend myself?

Q.   Hello everyone I hope you won't be too hard on me. I may have ruined my reputation a little. My sister told me to join a free dating site to sort of distract myself from my boyfriend's absence. So I did and I tried it out even though I was hesitant...

A.   5 April 2014: I'm a little confused here, OP, your sister told you get back dating to distract you from the absence of your boyfriend? What does that mean? Do you have a boyfriend or not and why do you think it's okay to be dating again if you do? To me that's i... (read in full...)

Girlfriend has religious guilt about premarital sex.

Q.   We both have our issues that we've been working through. I just can't figure out if we'd both be better off out even though that is not what I want. She has an anxiety disorder and I've been told I have one too or possibly bipolar NOS or ADHD which ...

A.   5 April 2014: I disagree with the others, OP and I think you're being too harsh on yourself. The fact is this woman uses every excuse under the sun not to have sex with you. Firstly it was body issues, then all of sudden she throws out the premarital guilt excu... (read in full...)

Am I being horrible to ask him to get tested?

Q.   What should I do? Why won't he get tested? Am I overreacting? So I haven't being with a guy sexually for 3years now and I've been dating this guy for almost a year now and I want us to start a sexual relationship. He says he hasn't been with any...

A.   5 April 2014: While I agree getting tested is the right thing to do and you're not being horrible, I think people are being unduly harsh on your boyfriend. You've been with him a year, so I can see why he may feel you don't trust him. Getting checked for STI'... (read in full...)

She lied and said she wasn't a virgin. Now that I know she is one, I feel like I can't trust her if she would lie about something that big!

Q.   Can I be annoyed at this girl I've just started to date for lying to me about something big like this. She says she did it to protect herself, but I feel insulted she judged me to be like those guys... We got to talking and I asked her how ma...

A.   4 April 2014: "Lying on the other hand IS more clearly wrong." Male anon life is not that black and white. Lying isn't always wrong. Do you tell women they're fat when they ask? Are you going to tell a 3 year old santa doesn't exist if they ask? Are you goin... (read in full...)

I'm struggling to love my baby girl!

Q.   Can someone help me with this but I honestly think I don't know how to love, I have a baby girl who is 15months, I take care of her as that is my human instincts to make sure she is ok andd has everything she needs, I have no problem doing all the ...

A.   4 April 2014: I don't think you give yourself enough credit here, OP. I mean you're recovering from an abusive relationship, have few people you can turn to and are a single mother too. OP you do love her, if you didn't then you wouldn't be worrying if you'... (read in full...)

Am I expecting too much from men during times of crisis?

Q.   Last year my brother committed suicide and my boyfriend of one year was so unsupportive and indifferent that we broke up. He wouldn't take any time off work and was just distant and uncommunicative. He said we all deal differently and I was too ...

A.   4 April 2014: After only a month? Yes you are expecting too much. OP as much as there is supporting your partner in times of crisis there's also a matter of protecting your partner from those things too so as not to drag them down and make the relationship all ... (read in full...)

How do I get people to back off on trying to set me up? And what do I say to men who approach me?

Q.   How do you handle this if you're a lesbian who a) has not EVER acted on it at all and never plans to and b) is REALLY grossed out at the idea of doing anything with a male when your parents/friends/church is constantly pressuring you to date? In ...

A.   4 April 2014: OP you do understand that your food analogy paints you as a person that has no pleasure in life? You don't eat food at all for pleasure? I certainly do, I will eat cake because it tastes nice, not because I need nourishment from it, I mean even... (read in full...)

How do I get people to back off on trying to set me up? And what do I say to men who approach me?

Q.   How do you handle this if you're a lesbian who a) has not EVER acted on it at all and never plans to and b) is REALLY grossed out at the idea of doing anything with a male when your parents/friends/church is constantly pressuring you to date? In ...

A.   4 April 2014: You can't stop any of this it's all part of the lie you're living. OP people are right to be worried about you the only problem is they just have it wrong as to what the actual problem is. I mean they're trying to set you up with a man, your fri... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has celebrity crush and it makes me uncomfortable.

Q.   My boyfriend has a crush on a TV star, she has been in several movies he watched when he was a child and basically grew up with them. Everytime he sees her on TV he is sooo enthusastic, and goes 'aaaawwwww look, it's ******'. It's extremely ...

A.   4 April 2014: OP just turn off the movie and tell him you did it because you want to talk about how bad his behaviour is starting to make you feel. Tell him it's becoming a problem so severe it's spoiling things for you and you don't want to watch it anymore ... (read in full...)

She's so close to her ex that I don't know what to make of it

Q.   Hey Everyone. So, I am 25 years old and I recently met a new girl. We have really hit it off super well and although we have only been seeing eachother for three months we are already feeling quite close. I am crazy about her and almost everythin...

A.   2 April 2014: No you're not crazy, OP, you're a rebound. Everything you suspect is 100% correct. Except there may have been some "too close", "too intimate" near misses thrown in too that you don't know about. What was crazy was getting with a girl only 3 mont... (read in full...)

My question is do all lecturers give students a recommended book that they don't use or follow themselves and expect more from the student?

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm in my final year of college and completing my report from my big project. I sent in a draft of my intro the last day and got feedback from my supervisor yesterday telling me that it was crap. I knew it wasn't great but I didn't r...

A.   2 April 2014: He didn't put you down. He put your admittedly lame attempt at an intro down, not you as a person. Don't take it so personally. You said it yourself it was crap and vague, and sorry OP but as a final year student you should know better than to just ... (read in full...)

Where is the line between dating someone and being in a relationship with them?

Q.   I feel dumb asking this, as if the answer should be obvious, but where exactly is the line between dating someone and being in a relationship with them? I've been seeing a guy for about a month now, though we met at the end of last year and yo...

A.   2 April 2014: How does being in a relationship lessen the need for condoms if you're concerned about pregnancy and STI's? He still may give you an STI, OP, and it doesn't suddenly make being on the pill alone somehow safer. Sorry, just confused about your logic ... (read in full...)

I think my vulnerable friend is being taken advantage of

Q.   This woman was previously abused in a very long term marriage. (slapped around then forcibly Raped on her wedding night by her husband.) He abused her in many other ways as well. He made her feel guilty and took great advantage of her. She is n...

A.   2 April 2014: OP it's a simple case of white knight syndrome. You've been sucked into a situation with a woman you more want to save than actually love. OP I call it white knight syndrome because there are so many things about this woman that make her 100% not ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has celebrity crush and it makes me uncomfortable.

Q.   My boyfriend has a crush on a TV star, she has been in several movies he watched when he was a child and basically grew up with them. Everytime he sees her on TV he is sooo enthusastic, and goes 'aaaawwwww look, it's ******'. It's extremely ...

A.   2 April 2014: To those advising to pick a hot male celeb and do it back, it won't work. We're used to women gushing over celeb men, it doesn't bother us. That and criticising other women are the only interest women have in celebrity culture. We're used to seein... (read in full...)

Should I move to his state?

Q.   Last year I went to visit my best friend in other state. We have been friends for 8 years. Last year until now, he has been asking me to move to the state he is in to be with. He says he love me and we are trying to take our friendship to the next ...

A.   2 April 2014: OP you don't give any practical reasons why you should. Just that you want to "try" to take it to the next level. Pretty huge move for an experiment don't you think? I wouldn't give up everything I have where I am for an experiment. You didn't ment... (read in full...)

Was there any need for him to send this message to his ex?

Q.   Hello friends. I have been dating a guy from past 10 months. Our relationship was quite good but we had some problem because of his ex. I think he is still in love with his ex. He still have her photographs and messages and still saves some memory f...

A.   2 April 2014: Wow he's a dick. Yeah he's definitely not over her and even worse he's using you to make her jealous. What an immature asshole move it is to send pictures of your current girlfriend to your ex. That's not only completely disrespectful to you by trea... (read in full...)

Why do guys ask for my number but never call?

Q.   Everytime i go out dancing with my friend (girl), I meet a really cool guy we have a good time, and at the end of the night they ask for my number. I give it to the ones I like, and they always end up not calling/ messaging. I'm sick and tired o...

A.   1 April 2014: Brutal honesty? Because you seemed like a good idea while they were drunk but when they sobered up they though otherwise. I've done it plenty of times and then been left with the painful decision of crushing her self esteem by being honest or just... (read in full...)

I think my vulnerable friend is being taken advantage of

Q.   This woman was previously abused in a very long term marriage. (slapped around then forcibly Raped on her wedding night by her husband.) He abused her in many other ways as well. He made her feel guilty and took great advantage of her. She is n...

A.   1 April 2014: I see nothing wrong in this, OP. If you take away the "vulnerable" tag do you see anything wrong in what is happening? No. OP just because she may be at greater risk due to her past doesn't mean you can wrap her in cotton wool either. "Vuln... (read in full...)

My girlfriend defecates during sex

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been with my current girlfriend for over 2 years and ever since the beginning she has had a problem during sex. It doesn't matter what position we try, each time during intercourse she poos. I've asked her if she is doing i...

A.   1 April 2014: I'm assuming she's tried clearing her bowels well in advance of sex? I mean I assume that because it's the first thing I'd try. In your position I'd go no sex until she sees a doctor and gets professional advice. Not as a punishment because it's... (read in full...)

He broke things off since he was falling for me and now I might be pregnant! How do I handle this?

Q.   Hey so I'm 19 and I recently lost my virginity to a 28 year old anyway we were sort of together with no labels for two and a half months. He decided to block and delete me out of his life as he was "falling" for me I know I was used worst thing is ...

A.   1 April 2014: I don't need to tell you that this guy is bad news and his excuse is bullshit. He wasn't falling for you, he used you that's that. I also need to make it clear OP, that this pregnancy scare better not be your way of making an excuse to contact him.... (read in full...)

She lied and said she wasn't a virgin. Now that I know she is one, I feel like I can't trust her if she would lie about something that big!

Q.   Can I be annoyed at this girl I've just started to date for lying to me about something big like this. She says she did it to protect herself, but I feel insulted she judged me to be like those guys... We got to talking and I asked her how ma...

A.   1 April 2014: I disagree aswell male anon. Comfort is one of the best gauges of how things are going in dating, if you start making them uncomfortable you're unlikely to get very far. As a wealthy man I can tell you that would be my alarm bell question. I'm a te... (read in full...)

She lied and said she wasn't a virgin. Now that I know she is one, I feel like I can't trust her if she would lie about something that big!

Q.   Can I be annoyed at this girl I've just started to date for lying to me about something big like this. She says she did it to protect herself, but I feel insulted she judged me to be like those guys... We got to talking and I asked her how ma...

A.   29 March 2014: Let her go, OP, and walk away. She needs to find a guy with more fortitude and one who doesn't take minor things personally. You're worse than "one of those guys" you're a drama queen looking for problems and will make a miserable boyfriend to her ... (read in full...)

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