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Latest articles:

Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 18 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

< Prev23456789101112Next > [167 pages, 6642 answers]

I declined this man's advances but now I deeply regret it. We are going to meet. What should I do?

Q.   Hi. I am 22 yrs old, I am looking for someone who could give me a helpful insight regarding my situation. A year ago I met someone. He never became my bf. Although he wanted to, always telling me that I am perfect for him. I doubted his sincerit...

A.   4 March 2014: You know for certain he has a girlfriend? If so then leave it off, sounds like you'd find it too hard. Time to focus your attention elsewhere then. You must have some pretty vicious insecurities if you think he hates you when he's invited you to a... (read in full...)

Women, do you prefer it when a man delays ejaculation?

Q.   I just want to find out if delayed ejaculation is necessarily than premature ejaculation where the female perspective is concerned. I sleep on a regular basis with sex workers. Normally, I ejaculate within a minute or tow, sometimes even within ...

A.   3 March 2014: Your sexual function in the context of an emotionless business transaction is not a good context on which to judge how it'll be during dating. It's a very different experience when dating a normal woman because it's about mutual pleasure. You real... (read in full...)

He invited me, so why shouldn't he pay?

Q.   Dear ok Cupid, I have male friend who I haven't talked to for over a year, asked if I would accompany he and his family to Disney Land n July 2014. He told me that all I have to pay for is my airfare. If this was an invite, don't u think he...

A.   3 March 2014: What? How did a question about air fare turn into that?... (read in full...)

My male friend has become distant since I confessed to being interested in one of his friends

Q.   I recently broke up with my boyfriend because it was very clear how much we had grown apart in our 3 year relationship. A few weeks before I broke up with him, I started hanging out with a guy regularly. I was never attracted to him romantically but ...

A.   3 March 2014: If you believe that, you'll believe anything. ... (read in full...)

My male friend has become distant since I confessed to being interested in one of his friends

Q.   I recently broke up with my boyfriend because it was very clear how much we had grown apart in our 3 year relationship. A few weeks before I broke up with him, I started hanging out with a guy regularly. I was never attracted to him romantically but ...

A.   3 March 2014: So you don't know why a friend you used on the rebound emotionally, sexually and intellectually before discarding him for his best friend would be a little distant? OP there's nothing wrong with hook ups, but when it's a friend it's dangerou... (read in full...)

What does "trying too hard" mean in the context of dating?

Q.   Hi cupid I was wondering what "trying too hard" refers to when a girl/guy is pursuing a match or maybe trying to date? What are the ways to know if you are trying to hard and how does it come out as a big turn off ? Cheers ...

A.   3 March 2014: Trying too hard varies from person to person. Some see contact every day as trying too hard, some see that as mandatory. Some see paying on dates as trying too hard, others as essential. For me trying too hard is being too keen. Being willing to p... (read in full...)

I've stopped having sex with my girlfriend!

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend almost two years now. At first, I couldn't get my hands off her as had been the case with any woman I liked and dated before her. But after time passed, I couldn't have sex with her. I mean I could get it up and do the ...

A.   3 March 2014: It's nothing to do with real respect, just some weird notion in your brain that sex is somehow disrespectful. My feeling is you're just making excuses though, OP and really just aren't interested in her anymore. It sounds to me like you view her ... (read in full...)

He invited me, so why shouldn't he pay?

Q.   Dear ok Cupid, I have male friend who I haven't talked to for over a year, asked if I would accompany he and his family to Disney Land n July 2014. He told me that all I have to pay for is my airfare. If this was an invite, don't u think he...

A.   3 March 2014: Do you want him to pay for the food you eat on the journey there too, or the tampons you may need while there if you're on your period, or the haircut you get before you go? OP he's a friend, they probably had an extra place available on a pack... (read in full...)

Live-in boyfriend lied and went to a strip club behind my back... now my family is telling me to just get over it!

Q.   I've been dating my bf for 7 months. Things moved really fast for us so please no rude comments about that. We met through my brother, they are coworkers. He started hanging out and after. A Few weeks he asked me out on a date. After the date he ...

A.   3 March 2014: I have to disagree Ciar, I think your analogy is flawed. A more accurate and logical comparison would be if she went to see male strippers like the Chippendales or something which men are actually fine with. The shoe on the other foot isn't her ... (read in full...)

Is porn really to blame for the relationship problems many women attribute to it?

Q.   Spoiler alert. Some may find this misogynistic and or demeaning to women!!! This is the Chicken/Egg paradox. When I was a kid most wives were stay at home moms, were financially dependent on their husbands and were either submissive by choice...

A.   2 March 2014: I'm going to ignore the feminist debate as it always descend into man hating nonsense and directly answer your question from a historical perspective. Feminists know nothing of history except the male oppression model and ignore all practical ... (read in full...)

I know there's no future for me with this guy, but it still bothers me that I haven't heard from him since we broke up

Q.   I broke up with the guy I've been seeing for the past year because we were on different pages. He agreed with it. But then in a moment of weakness, I texted him that I didn't want that. I feel really stupid about texting him, breaking up is t...

A.   2 March 2014: "Oh a message. It's from her. She's probably just drunk or emotional, best to ignore her and she'll go away. I think I've seen this movie before, in fact I know I have. Balls better throw on another one instead. Damn anyway, it took me ages to ... (read in full...)

Will he cheat on me?

Q.   please need advice ok I have a best friend and at the time he is with some one else so we got together and then it happened. well he still with her and wanting to leave her for me. is this going to happen to me? I am worried. I don't want to lose ...

A.   2 March 2014: Well he hardly has any incentive not to cheat on you. If he leaves her for something shinier then it'll confirm to him that it works. If something even shinier than you comes along then he can ride off into the sunset with her behind your back too. ... (read in full...)

Live-in boyfriend lied and went to a strip club behind my back... now my family is telling me to just get over it!

Q.   I've been dating my bf for 7 months. Things moved really fast for us so please no rude comments about that. We met through my brother, they are coworkers. He started hanging out and after. A Few weeks he asked me out on a date. After the date he ...

A.   2 March 2014: Did he really lie about it or did they also go and grab some beers and watch some of the Olympics before they decided to go to a strip club? Did he know beforehand you wouldn't like him going to strip clubs? It's okay to be upset if he really d... (read in full...)

Do guys really find squirting to be a turn-on, or was my partner just too polite to say it grossed him out?

Q.   I'm in my mid 20's and I've known I was a squirter since I was about 19/20 due to masturbation. But despite having a couple of sexual partners and previously being married, I have never felt comfortable enough to squirt with any partner despite ...

A.   2 March 2014: You need to trust us when we say it's a turn on, he wouldn't say it if it wasn't, he'd just say he's not really fond of it. I find it to be awesome but I don't like it spraying all over my face so I do like a bit of warning. The same as the warning ... (read in full...)

Love triangle: how to have one without hurting the other

Q.   im stuck in a love triangle between two girls that are friends. one of these girls I have a strong attraction to and she has an attraction to me, but her friend likes me also. this leaves me and the girl im attracted to in the most horrible of ...

A.   2 March 2014: It depends on your/their loyalties. I had a similar situation a long time back and I chose not to go ahead with it. I dated neither and went and found someone else. I had been close friends with both of them and they were closer friends to each ... (read in full...)

My parents don't have faith in my long distance relationship

Q.   Dear Cupid, I'm in a LD relationship with a man I met at a speed dating event in September 2013. Five to six months later, we're still going strong and he's planning a visit to my home state in two weeks. In Jan 2014, I spent six days with him an...

A.   2 March 2014: You've realized after 6 days that you are meant to be with someone? Fair enough. Also saying that people aren't in your corner because they are sceptical about things is a bit confrontational don't you think? To me it says they're even more in your... (read in full...)

Women, do you prefer it when a man delays ejaculation?

Q.   I just want to find out if delayed ejaculation is necessarily than premature ejaculation where the female perspective is concerned. I sleep on a regular basis with sex workers. Normally, I ejaculate within a minute or tow, sometimes even within ...

A.   2 March 2014: Ladies prefer you last longer but sex workers prefer if you ejaculate quickly. Don't mistake the two. Sex workers arr not women there hoping you'll pleasure them, it's business they want to seal the deal quickly so they can move on to another ... (read in full...)

I declined this man's advances but now I deeply regret it. We are going to meet. What should I do?

Q.   Hi. I am 22 yrs old, I am looking for someone who could give me a helpful insight regarding my situation. A year ago I met someone. He never became my bf. Although he wanted to, always telling me that I am perfect for him. I doubted his sincerit...

A.   2 March 2014: OP, again you're backing off and showing no fight. Go and see what happens. If he's single then tell him you like him etc. Look I was harsh in my original post but it obviously backfired and instead of stirring up a fight in you it's caused you ... (read in full...)

She cheated on me with my cousin but now wants me back?

Q.   My wife cheated with my cousin she said it was my falt i was in jail at the time she. said she didn't feel loved now I'm out she says she want me back i feel that she was lusting for him but now I'm hurt and don't no if i wanna be with her what ...

A.   1 March 2014: She said it was your fault? Time to get the divorce papers ready then. A person who will blame you for their wrong doing is a person who can do that any time they like in the future too. I mean she's not even sorry it happened because that too would ... (read in full...)

I accidentally missed my first date with a guy. I apologised but has he had enough already? What should I do?

Q.   Hi, I was supposed to meet my online date in person, for the first time, earlier this afternoon. We have been chatting online for approx 2 months and have been looking forward to meeting each other. I, unfortunately was unable to meet him in pers...

A.   1 March 2014: Sounds like a whole mess of factors just didn't want you two to meet that day. It sucks but it happens. Look he was obviously pissed, as you would be and understandably so, as you didn't really ring him while you were at the cinema to see wher... (read in full...)

Dating my ex boyfriend/ rekindling relationship, but his single friend is getting in the way!

Q.   Hi everybody. Me and my ex boyfriend were together for nearly 4 years, when we decided to take a break from the relationship for many reasons. 12 weeks later and we are now in contact again, we both feel like we have benefited from the break...

A.   1 March 2014: OP you really can't understand why a friend who has had to pick up the pieces of your break up, listen to your boyfriend bitch and moan about you and how you have hurt him etc would really be fond of the idea of just being ditched as soon as you ... (read in full...)

I declined this man's advances but now I deeply regret it. We are going to meet. What should I do?

Q.   Hi. I am 22 yrs old, I am looking for someone who could give me a helpful insight regarding my situation. A year ago I met someone. He never became my bf. Although he wanted to, always telling me that I am perfect for him. I doubted his sincerit...

A.   1 March 2014: See what happens at the get together. If he is with someone then it wouldn't be right to pour out your feelings to him and stir up trouble. With all due respect if he's moved on then you should accept that you blew your chance and move on too. A... (read in full...)

Work, sex, friendships and a web of secrets and lies.

Q.   A guy I work with is a player. He used to see my friend about 2 years ago. She still liked him. We all work together. He built a friendship with me. It quickly turned into constant attention and he pursued me for about 3 months. We got really close ...

A.   1 March 2014: There is no question here so there's no answer to give other than to say you cheated with a guy you knew was a player and got burned. Now your best friend is about to get used by him the same way and you're going to do nothing about it either but ... (read in full...)

I am waiting for the text that will ruin my weekend ...

Q.   Hello. I will probably get the answer to this question either later on today or tomorrow from the source, but I was just curious to find out other people's opinions and whether or not other girls or guys out there have had a similar experience. I...

A.   1 March 2014: OP I don't think you've blown anything but I do think you need to make your dates more exciting. I mean sitting at home watching TV you've done twice now and frankly it's about as exciting as making a cup of tea and watching Coronation Street. Not ... (read in full...)

My marriage was a huge mistake but I'm too scared to get out of it

Q.   I'm too scared of what will happen after I leave my husband that I can't bring myself to do it. I got married at 21, and he was almost 24. We had been together for two years when we got married and had lived together for a year and a half. I thought ...

A.   28 February 2014: OP you're a person with a history of mental illness which pretty much makes your situation beyond what we can help you with here. It sounds like that has a huge part of what is going on here and it's something you need to get professional advice on ... (read in full...)

Pregnant and confused! What should I do?

Q.   heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...

A.   28 February 2014: Chi in all fairness we don't have to deal with pregnancy, the decision to abort or anything like that. We can even ignore the child if we like. It's easy for guys not to worry or care about protection because we can't get pregnant. We will never ... (read in full...)

Dumping on a girlfriend for a man you hardly know!

Q.   My american friend (girl) has been planning to come over for a ages and so I invited her to stay with me for a few nights. She's been texting me on her progress with planning her trip for months and I got my spare room ready for her, booked a ...

A.   28 February 2014: Oh I'd be pissed and let her know it too. I wouldn't be pissed that I had to clean my place or anything but I'd be very pissed that a friend who promised me some fun personal time for a couple of days by staying at mine would just flake and decide ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my FWB I'm talking to someone else?

Q.   Should I tell my FWB that I'm taking to somebody else? It's not sexual with the other person, but it is something I see turning into a relationship with....

A.   28 February 2014: I'd drop you like a bad habit if I were the new guy and found you were sleeping with someone while we were "talking". Even if it was years down the line. Your FWB doesn't really have anything to do with this, it would only be if you were sexu... (read in full...)

Pregnant and confused! What should I do?

Q.   heya, my head is so confussed, i just found out im pregnant! im not in a realtionship and have slept with two boys this month with about 3-4days appart, so have no way in knowing who the father is. this isnt the first time iv been pregnant,...

A.   28 February 2014: You've had an abortion before, OP, so you know the emotional toll it can take. Get some professional advice. That Brook website looks good, see if you can go in and get some advice about your options. Talk to someone in person if possible, OP. ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to date a separated person?

Q.   I'm divorced and met a woman through friends who's married but living separated lives with her husband for financial reasons. Long story short, she invited me out for a date. Is it wrong to date a separated woman who's husband is already out there ...

A.   28 February 2014: Morally wrong? No, they're officially separated so it's not cheating. A wise decision? Not in my mind. I'd bone her and even have a purely sexual fling with her but I wouldn't emotionally invest in a woman who still lives with her husband so I woul... (read in full...)

Why is it a big deal for my boyfriend and I to be 7 years apart?

Q.   im 14 turning 15 and my lover has just turned 23 and we are pretty far apart in age but does it really matter? we do not have a sexual relationship and nobody except a close adult friend of mine knows, I feel the urge to tell my mother that im in ...

A.   28 February 2014: OP you're not even old enough to know that the term "lover" implies a sexual relationship. Lover is defined as a person you're making love to. I think you should tell your mother. If you think you're old enough to have an adult relationship then... (read in full...)

My fab new BF ticks all my boxes but won't give oral

Q.   Dear all Please advise. I ve been dating this fabulous guy for around a monthnow. He is kind, intelligent, reliable, handsome and has loads of otger great qualities. We get on very well and I could not ask for more except he doesn' t do oral whi...

A.   28 February 2014: It depends on how important it is to you, OP. You need to decide that. "Fixing" him is not on the cards, at his age he knows what he will and will not do. Now I can only assume "getting satisfaction elsewhere" means walking away which is an opti... (read in full...)

How much is too much in a relationship?

Q.   Hi all, I've been in a relationship for about 8 years, and it's had a lot of ups and downs. For a while now, more downs than ups, I think he and I would both agree. We had been long distance for a while, came together for graduate school which wa...

A.   26 February 2014: It's not that difficult, OP, to work things out. The hard part is not letting emotion and/or hope of things getting better to dictate your decisions. What you need to work out is if this relationship is part of your future or are you just tryi... (read in full...)

I'm struggling with accepting his use of porn, it breaks my heart!

Q.   So I have always struggled with accepting porn behind my back from my husband. I have come a long way and have come to terms that it is normal. I also have found that the less I stress about it, the better off I am. That I should be thankful that ...

A.   25 February 2014: Only you can say really, OP. You're probably just one of these people who can't separate the idea of masturbation and sex. Masturbation is not a sexual act for a guy, it's a release like a piss. While women have vibrators to make that release, ... (read in full...)

Help -- my manager is a bully!

Q.   Sorry guys not really a relationship question but here goes... I really could do with some help regarding my job. I work in london in a very busy office of around 300 people. I'm in a good job, well paid and stable. However I'm feeling real...

A.   25 February 2014: I've had people try that but I put them in their place pretty quickly. I fear no one and the financial safety net in my country means I wouldn't be screwed without a job for a month or two while I find another so I never had to tolerate shit from ... (read in full...)

First one night stand has me wondering why boys are like this!

Q.   On Friday I had my first ever one night stabd! But I really havebt taken it well I didn't know the guy I had met him that night And had spent most of the night with him we had got to talking and he took me back to his. Obviously everything happened ...

A.   25 February 2014: The same reason you are like this. OP you didn't message him either about how the night was or anything like that, just asked about your ID. So you're doing the exact same as him. So if you want to know why he's "being like this" look in the mirr... (read in full...)

I still love him with all my heart but the butterflies have gone.

Q.   So.. When my boyfriend and I first started talking I would get butterflies and get really super happy when I talked to him, but now I don't get super happy or butterflies. Is this a sign that we need to take a break or what? I'm so confused on what ...

A.   25 February 2014: Happens everyone, think what it's like when you first got a really great xmas present which you still love, it's pretty much the same. You'll be happy to know that there will be plenty of special moments where they will come back though.... (read in full...)

His breakup excuse has confused me!

Q.   My boyfriend broke things off with me after 3 years saying that I am an "amazing" person but his "taste" has changed over the years since we have been together. What does that even mean?? I feel awful. I am a beautiful girl and was nothing but ...

A.   24 February 2014: It's nothing to do with you, how pretty you are or how great you are. He just doesn't love you and so doesn't want to be with you anymore. It sucks but it happens. ... (read in full...)

Now then ...what about sexual fantasies in committed relationships?

Q.   Hello, I have a strict question about sexuality/fantasies in relationships. First off, I have come to a point with my girlfriend where I'm pretty certain everything can be put in the open if asked correctly, that is, it works generally with...

A.   24 February 2014: We get this kind of question mostly from women because it is mostly them that have such fragile egos that they need to be 100% everything to their partner. In my experience mental exclusivity varies as to why it occurs. I know I experience it a lot ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks I am cheating because I am 'too loose".

Q.   Help, my boyfriend, we've been together for 2 years and he thinks I'm cheating because I feel "loose", and I feel it to. We used to have sex everyday, but it began to lessen. Now we have sex once every two weeks, and even then I still feel loose, I ...

A.   24 February 2014: You're not looser OP, maybe the fact you only get it every fortnight means you're more aroused than you were with regular sex and your 'wide-on' is more profound. It's probably the masturbation effect, OP. When me and my wife go through a mini dry... (read in full...)

Why was my boyfriend more experimental with his ex?

Q.   I know from little conversations we've had here and there that my boyfriend had much more experimental sex with his ex. Questions like: have you done this or that before? To which he might say yes.. We have a great sex life anyway, he tells me I'm ...

A.   24 February 2014: He doesn't reminisce about her, just the sexual things he's done in the past when you ask him about them. As to why he experimented with her more, simple because through experimentation he knows what is and is not great sexually, so why would he t... (read in full...)

All are blaming me for reporting what I had to. What are your thoughts on people be allowed to bring their children or baby to their workplace?

Q.   What is everyone's opinion on people bringing their babies/ children to the work place?  The reason I ask is because last week 1 of my colleagues, who is on maternity leave came in with her baby who is 7 months old. We work in a call centre and...

A.   23 February 2014: Just to add OP, office politics and keeping your colleagues on your side is one of the most important aspects of any job. In some cases it's more important than fulfilling your targets. People who create office tension which you have, or are pari... (read in full...)

All are blaming me for reporting what I had to. What are your thoughts on people be allowed to bring their children or baby to their workplace?

Q.   What is everyone's opinion on people bringing their babies/ children to the work place?  The reason I ask is because last week 1 of my colleagues, who is on maternity leave came in with her baby who is 7 months old. We work in a call centre and...

A.   23 February 2014: You're perfectly within your right to file a complaint against a colleague, but was neither smart nor nice. It makes you an inconsiderate rat in the eyes of your colleagues and rightly so. The manager would have seen the complaint anyway, there wa... (read in full...)

He is eight years older, I like him and I think he likes me!

Q.   Ok so I'm at my moms friends house all the time ...I sleep here almost every night. She is like another mother to me and I've known her my whole life. She lives with her husband, her kids, and her brother in law. They are all like a family to me and ...

A.   23 February 2014: I'm 9 years older than my wife so I'm not against age gap relationships but in your circumstances it's just not possible in any kind of good way. OP being 15 is very different to being 23. Do you think you could hang around his friends or your frie... (read in full...)

How much is too much in a relationship?

Q.   Hi all, I've been in a relationship for about 8 years, and it's had a lot of ups and downs. For a while now, more downs than ups, I think he and I would both agree. We had been long distance for a while, came together for graduate school which wa...

A.   10 February 2014: It depends why you're fighting. It may be a bad habit to question your relationship after one fight, but after long term bickering it's more than justified because it's leaving a bitter taste in your mouth and sounds like it's spoiling things for ... (read in full...)

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