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Latest articles:

Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 18 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

< Prev23456789101112Next > [166 pages, 6607 answers]

Now then ...what about sexual fantasies in committed relationships?

Q.   Hello, I have a strict question about sexuality/fantasies in relationships. First off, I have come to a point with my girlfriend where I'm pretty certain everything can be put in the open if asked correctly, that is, it works generally with...

A.   24 February 2014: We get this kind of question mostly from women because it is mostly them that have such fragile egos that they need to be 100% everything to their partner. In my experience mental exclusivity varies as to why it occurs. I know I experience it a lot ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks I am cheating because I am 'too loose".

Q.   Help, my boyfriend, we've been together for 2 years and he thinks I'm cheating because I feel "loose", and I feel it to. We used to have sex everyday, but it began to lessen. Now we have sex once every two weeks, and even then I still feel loose, I ...

A.   24 February 2014: You're not looser OP, maybe the fact you only get it every fortnight means you're more aroused than you were with regular sex and your 'wide-on' is more profound. It's probably the masturbation effect, OP. When me and my wife go through a mini dry... (read in full...)

Why was my boyfriend more experimental with his ex?

Q.   I know from little conversations we've had here and there that my boyfriend had much more experimental sex with his ex. Questions like: have you done this or that before? To which he might say yes.. We have a great sex life anyway, he tells me I'm ...

A.   24 February 2014: He doesn't reminisce about her, just the sexual things he's done in the past when you ask him about them. As to why he experimented with her more, simple because through experimentation he knows what is and is not great sexually, so why would he t... (read in full...)

All are blaming me for reporting what I had to. What are your thoughts on people be allowed to bring their children or baby to their workplace?

Q.   What is everyone's opinion on people bringing their babies/ children to the work place?  The reason I ask is because last week 1 of my colleagues, who is on maternity leave came in with her baby who is 7 months old. We work in a call centre and...

A.   23 February 2014: Just to add OP, office politics and keeping your colleagues on your side is one of the most important aspects of any job. In some cases it's more important than fulfilling your targets. People who create office tension which you have, or are pari... (read in full...)

All are blaming me for reporting what I had to. What are your thoughts on people be allowed to bring their children or baby to their workplace?

Q.   What is everyone's opinion on people bringing their babies/ children to the work place?  The reason I ask is because last week 1 of my colleagues, who is on maternity leave came in with her baby who is 7 months old. We work in a call centre and...

A.   23 February 2014: You're perfectly within your right to file a complaint against a colleague, but was neither smart nor nice. It makes you an inconsiderate rat in the eyes of your colleagues and rightly so. The manager would have seen the complaint anyway, there wa... (read in full...)

He is eight years older, I like him and I think he likes me!

Q.   Ok so I'm at my moms friends house all the time ...I sleep here almost every night. She is like another mother to me and I've known her my whole life. She lives with her husband, her kids, and her brother in law. They are all like a family to me and ...

A.   23 February 2014: I'm 9 years older than my wife so I'm not against age gap relationships but in your circumstances it's just not possible in any kind of good way. OP being 15 is very different to being 23. Do you think you could hang around his friends or your frie... (read in full...)

I don't want to kiss my BF because of his bad breath! What should I do?

Q.   So when me and my bf got together, there were no problems, 'cos we hadn't kissed until three days ago. When we kissed, I couldn't help gagging at how horrible his breath tasted. I didn't tell him, though. So I played along. We kissed regularly and ...

A.   20 February 2014: You're afraid he'll break up with you, but you're going to break up with him if he doesn't fix it? So it seems to me an easy choice, either you tell him or you keep letting him stick his arse flavoured tongue into your mouth until you can't take it ... (read in full...)

Would telling her I find her attractive be a better way to move things forward?

Q.   Hello Cupid I was wondering if it is good idea to tell a girl you like her if you want to move things forward with her . I know the girl for about three months and I want to take things forward by telling her how I feel. I have decided to...

A.   20 February 2014: No, that's perfect. Tell her you find her attractive and that you'd like to take her out just to two of you, or do it the other way around, ask her out on a date then tell her that. Your choice. I'd say "I'm interested in you" or "I'm attracte... (read in full...)

Should I contact my ex? It's 6 months since I finished the relationship, and this would have been our 6 year anniversary.

Q.   Hi aunts, I'm feeling a little low. I was in a relationship for 5 and a half years. We were childhood sweethearts and got to together at the age of 17. I loved him to pieces but the relationship fizzled out after around the 4th year. We stayed ...

A.   20 February 2014: You don't want closure, OP, you have that by the fact he's not responding. You miss him and don't want to deal with the pain that the recent dates have brought back and think being in contact with him will make that okay. It won't, in fact you'... (read in full...)

I found out my boyfriend has profiles on swingers' sites!

Q.   I found out my boyfriend has a profile (or three!) up on swingers sex sites "looking for fun" and stating that he's single. Now he swears they are from years ago when he was single and in fairness to him, it was 2009 when the accounts were created. ...

A.   20 February 2014: Yeah, I'd believe him. The dates check out, the fact he doesn't interact with people on it is kosher too, there's nothing wrong with checking it every few months or so really. Just aks him to delete them, he will and then it'll be resolved... (read in full...)

I do love her with my all heart, but what can I do about her cousin with his wandering hands? She will not give me a straight answer.

Q.   I'll try to keep it short, sacrificing a lot of the details so bear with me. My GF and her female cousins have had/have an intimate relationship with a male cousin. Proven thanks to people leaving their facebook messages open for all to see.... s...

A.   20 February 2014: I think you're not giving her enough credit here and being really nosey about her past too. What happened between her and this cousin is really none of your business. I'd be pissed if I was with someone and they kept pestering me for details of past... (read in full...)

The more time I go being frustrated, the more arseholes I attract & the more depressed I get. What am I doing wrong? Should I lower my standards?

Q.   I'm completely confused. I need help figuing out what I want. It's been 7 months since I've been in a relationship and had sex. Which isn't long I know but I've got a high sex drive and I'm very hormonal.. I'm 23 and completely sexually...

A.   20 February 2014: Yeah I don't see where the assholes thing comes from. I mean if you're meeting them in clubs and pubs then sure, most guys like that even if they're nice guys will come across as drunken assholes. OP you stink of desperation, you may think you hide... (read in full...)

Falling in love with a man who might have to move away. We discussed it, but what did he mean?

Q.   I started dating a man about three months ago. We see each other almost every week-end. We'll spend most of it together. The week-ends usually consists of hours of conversation, laughing really hard, watching movies, sex, eating, driving, laughing, ...

A.   20 February 2014: I disagree with Sugarplum. You brought up the idea of not wanting to take this further in case you get hurt. He's made it clear that he wants to be with you to the point where he even wants to try an LDR with you if he does end up leaving. You're ... (read in full...)

Drunken mistake with a colleague. How do I deal with this?

Q.   Hi...in my place of work there is this guy I work with who I talk to almost al the time at work but now this Friday me and my collegues went out for a drink and we really got wasted that I don't remember most of the things about later that night.. Bu...

A.   20 February 2014: Just have a chat with him before work, ask him to meet you for coffee or something. It would be a good idea to clear the air. Try not to take the approach that what happened was a big deal though, OP, you don't want it to sound dramatic. It was just... (read in full...)

I don't want to kiss my BF because of his bad breath! What should I do?

Q.   So when me and my bf got together, there were no problems, 'cos we hadn't kissed until three days ago. When we kissed, I couldn't help gagging at how horrible his breath tasted. I didn't tell him, though. So I played along. We kissed regularly and ...

A.   20 February 2014: Just tell him gently that he has a bit of a breath issue that makes kissing him unpleasant and will he make sure his mouth is fresh next time. OP he's a guy, not a hypersensitive girl who takes things like that personally. You're his first, so teac... (read in full...)

Any good stories about threesomes?

Q.   Anybody have threesome (MFF in my case) SUCCESS stories? You read about how most relationships fall apart after a threesome but surely this is because it was an attempt to save an already dying marriage? Obviously there would be some that couldn...

A.   19 February 2014: I've had some but I was single and they were too. My first was two friends who were a bit on the wild side. Always kissing in bars to show off, grind each other when they danced, you know the usual kind of thing. The three of us ended up back in ... (read in full...)

Partner says he wants to be with me forever but has "itches that need scratching" with other women.

Q.   I've been with my partner for 5 years. We met at uni. It's a long distance relationship but we are planning in moving in together this year. We are both each other's first sexual partners. I was in a long term relationship before but never had in...

A.   19 February 2014: Time to split up then. He's basically told you he has itches you can't scratch, in other words you're not enough for him. He does not want to spend the rest of his life only ever having had you. I mean seriously, OP, how long do you think he can... (read in full...)

My parents or my boyfriend? I feel like my parents are making me choose!

Q.   Hello, my name is Alexis and I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. My mom works in the same school that I go to and a year ago my boyfriend went into rehab for smoking weed and just doing stupid things that he shouldn't have done. During ...

A.   19 February 2014: *3-6 months... (read in full...)

My parents or my boyfriend? I feel like my parents are making me choose!

Q.   Hello, my name is Alexis and I have been dating my boyfriend for five years. My mom works in the same school that I go to and a year ago my boyfriend went into rehab for smoking weed and just doing stupid things that he shouldn't have done. During ...

A.   19 February 2014: They're not making you choose anything they just don't like him and are probably right that he is a major cause of your problems. OP if you wanted respect and wanted your boyfriend to have respect from your parents you wouldn't have hidden the fact... (read in full...)

I got involved with a male colleague who's not single. Now he's cut me out of his life. How do I move on and forgive myself?

Q.   Hi all I'm not asking for niceness but I feel extremely low. I stupidly fell for a guy that was attached, we were good friends and he helped me through a lot of personal stuff, he was with a girl he bought a house with. He told everyone at work...

A.   19 February 2014: "I feel like one of those creepy stalkers and I'm not" sorry but you are. You said you weren't asking for niceness so I'm not going to be nice, I'll be honest. You made some utterly dangerous decisions here, OP. You can't stupidly fall for some... (read in full...)

How do I work my nurse's uniform for my boyfriend?

Q.   My boyfriend has mentioned few months earlier that he like me in a nurses uniform...I have bought one as a special surprise for h..but I worried to how should I preform when I have it on .,,help...

A.   19 February 2014: Not to disagree with Aunty Babbit but there is plenty sexy about a woman with such command and dominance over you, while at the same time taking care of you and wearing a tight uniform. Just role play a nurse. Instruments don't work, like stet... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable in not wanting my BF to go a festival? He went last year and lied about having girls in his tent.

Q.   My boyfriend of almost 3 years went to Leeds festival last year. He went with his single lad friends - I had no worries as I trusted him and only asked he called/text me when he could and no girls in his tent. It went pear shaped - I barely heard fr...

A.   17 February 2014: But if there were no trust issues then why all the demands? I mean I'd understand if he'd maybe had history before as to why you'd worry but 2 1/2 years of a relationship where he hasn't broken your trust should have been enough to look past it and ... (read in full...)

I hate to be the first one to reach for his hand or make physical contact!

Q.   The guy I've been seeing for about a month isn't great at initiating any physical contact but is happy enough when I do. Like if I slip my hand in his, he'll wrap an arm around my shoulders after a bit but it's just odd cz he's the one who asked me ...

A.   17 February 2014: It might not be awkwardness, it could be as FA said about public displays of affection. My feeling is he's worried about coming on too strong. I mean when you do something he happily reciprocates doesn't he? So he's not shunning intimacy with you.... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable in not wanting my BF to go a festival? He went last year and lied about having girls in his tent.

Q.   My boyfriend of almost 3 years went to Leeds festival last year. He went with his single lad friends - I had no worries as I trusted him and only asked he called/text me when he could and no girls in his tent. It went pear shaped - I barely heard fr...

A.   17 February 2014: I think you are being unreasonable. You and his mother were worried because he didn't think to contact you in the middle of a three day binge of drinking, music and possibly drugs? I couldn't even tell you my name for three days last time I went... (read in full...)

Is history repeating itself? I took my ex back but we have problems.

Q.   So cut a story short, I met a guy when I was 17, went through some really bad stuff, lying and cheating. Settled down at 19 and had my son, but then he kept staying out all night getting drunk. So I moved back to my mams in may 2012, after find...

A.   17 February 2014: He stole from the family money, when you're both struggling financially and has been lying about it and keeping it a secret for two weeks. If anything you're under-reacting. OP you say "rebuild" like you ever had a real relationship. You didn't, ... (read in full...)

Am I too unrealistic in wanting to find a guy who's not into porn or casual sex?

Q.   Please don't be nasty with your replies but I would like to know the chances of finding someone who; 1. Hasn't got much of an interest in porn when in a relationship 2. Hasn't had a one night stand or a friend with benefits 3. Doesn't see...

A.   17 February 2014: 1. Depends what you mean. Don't say "too much of a..." if you really mean you don't want him to be interested in it at all. Most guys aren't obsessed with it, even while single. Finding a guy who uses it the odd time is easy. The ones who are ... (read in full...)

He said he doesn't believe in Valentines -- should I be hurt?

Q.   My boyfriend of only a few month. Didnt see me on valentines day. And didnt get me a card or present. When i asked about it? He just said he didnt believe in all that none sense. I'm a little bit hurt about it but not sure whether i'm being over ...

A.   17 February 2014: I think you're expecting too much from a guy you know is not romantic. If you want romance he's not your guy, simple as that. That's like being pissed off at someone for not eating mushrooms when they've already told you they hate them. You'v... (read in full...)

Getting mixed signals from my ex.

Q.   Hi everyone, I need some advice! So my ex boyfriend and I are on and off, I haven't seen him in 2 weeks, I got the impression he was losing interest and distancing himself from me, so I left him alone. He sent me a text on valentines day n...

A.   17 February 2014: What's to get other than the fact you will never have a proper relationship with him and you're wasting your time trying? Cindy is right, OP. Mixed messages = no messages. Forget trying to read his mind and try reading your own for a change. ... (read in full...)

Sex with my best friend - has it ruined our relationship?

Q.   I have a male best friend who I have known for about 5 years. We hang out all the time and love joking around. When we go out drinking we sometimes sleep over each others houses and nothing has ever happened between us, apart from one night we ended ...

A.   17 February 2014: After reading your update I see it's pretty much been resolved. Except for the next time you drink of course, you'll most likely be at it again. Sex does complicate friendships, it can change the dynamic completely so try not to lose control agai... (read in full...)

He got me absolutely nothing for Valentine's Day!

Q.   Should I be upset he got me absolutely nothing for Valentine's Day? My boyfriend and I both agree that Valentine's day is not a big deal. We are in a long distance relationship-been together about 8 months. We don't see eachother very often in pe...

A.   17 February 2014: You're not demanding at all, are you? I mean he books a hotel and buys you dinner but because he didn't also get you a gift you complain? Next time tell him "it's not a big deal, but you better get me something because it is actually a big deal and ... (read in full...)

I don't see my boyfriend as long term material and I wonder about my ex FWB. Any ideas what I should do?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for about a month now. Actually, we have dated before, over a year ago and it lasted about 10 months back then. We remained really good friends while we were not together, even though I was dating someone else. Afte...

A.   17 February 2014: First things first, OP. Why are you with a guy you see no future with? Are you one of these women so scared of being alone that she'll string along men in relationships she doesn't want just so she never has to be single? You're being very unfa... (read in full...)

He lied, and his real age has freaked me out!

Q.   Making this short because I just recently found out. I don't know how to tell any of my friends about this either but I've been dating this guy I work with for about 2 months and all this time I thought he was 25 because that's what he told me. He ...

A.   17 February 2014: He's been lying to you for two months and given his age he pretty much knows a relationship is all but impossible so he's pretty much been using you too. I'd dump him, and I wouldn't ask him for an explanation either he'll just feed you a pack of l... (read in full...)

Was it wrong to accept an expensive gift from my male gay best friend? I think it's made my boyfriend jealous or uncomfortable.

Q.   My gay male best friend whom I have known for a year recently took me out for my birthday. He took me to a restaurant that neither my boyfriend and I can afford, and also gifted me a Burberry scarf ($400 value). I had already known which ...

A.   17 February 2014: It wasn't wrong to accept, it wasn't wrong for your friend to get it for you just don't gush about it too much in front of your boyfriend because you know he feels a bit outdone. Other than that it's not really a big deal. Look I'm not American... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't last long in bed!

Q.   Me and my common-law husband been together for 5 years and just had our first born, and he is still releasing himself to early, maybe 1-2 mins max, and i dont get to finish or sometimes anywhere near finish. He never had this problem before with his ...

A.   16 February 2014: Try a cock ring too, OP, that can help. There are lots of things that can help with premature ejaculation. Mentally he could picture his mother or think about sports or something too. You have plenty of options and it's fixable, seeing as he... (read in full...)

24 and never had a girlfriend. Where do I start?

Q.   This fact has made me very depressed and I have felt this way for a long time. I have never had a girlfriend or even had many friends that are girls. In fact I don't have many friends at all. I have one brother and though we are close in age, we ...

A.   15 February 2014: The best way to get to know people is topics you're interested in. You say you end up only talking about sports. Some of my friends I only know through my love of soccer, others I know from MMA classes and stuff. OP you do things very isolated... (read in full...)

The guy I've been dating is torn between taking things further with me or his female best friend. What should I do?

Q.   Really need help So since early January I have been seeing this lovely guy, and we both really like each other and everything has been going so well but now just as we are on the verge of becoming boyfriend and girlfriend to one another he has t...

A.   15 February 2014: Either he's a fool or he's lying to you. First off he lost her as a friend the minute she admitted her feelings for him. Even if he wasn't to date you he'd never have a friendship with her again because that'll never be enough for her. He lite... (read in full...)

My b/f doesn't celebrate our anniversaries or anything

Q.   How do I get my boyfriend to do things with me??? Please I'm hurting and everytime I try to ignore this it always comes back.. My boyfriend of two years doesn't celebrate our anniversary,our birthdays ,valentine not even at least take pictures wi...

A.   15 February 2014: I don't either. I don't celebrate my birthdays, anniversaries or anything like that. They mean nothing to me. I'll never get why people think they need to celebrate crap like that like it's somehow special. After 21, birthdays are insignificant ... (read in full...)

.Women I am attracted to run when they learn I am also involved with a man

Q.   Hey everyone... I'm having some struggles with my sexuality/sexual identity. I am a female, and I am in love with a man. We plan on getting married, we are both very attracted to one another and we're super happy. The thing is, I am also very att...

A.   15 February 2014: Just look up some polyamory websites online and see if there are any in your local area. There are niches for this kind of thing online. It may turn out it's only possible to have an online relationship with a woman as it's still a bit rare. Most... (read in full...)

Should I feel guilty about what I did?

Q.   I think i already know the answer to this but i would like to hear what other people think. Me and this guy ended up having a sexual relationship which lasted about 2 years, off and on. He lived quite a distance from me but we'd meet up when he ...

A.   14 February 2014: "She hasn't experienced any pain and is perfectly happy, respected and treated like a human being by him" That's just a jealous fantasy and you know it. Perfectly happy? Married to a guy who has had an affair? he respects a woman he's being c... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   14 February 2014: Just to add. In my experience the people who get hurt most by people's opinions of the object of their insecurity are the ones that look for such opinions to provide them with validation. Validation comes from inside, it comes from learning to embr... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   14 February 2014: 'hang on, this isn't right, people are getting effected by all these nasty comments' That's on the person. It's the sensitive person's job not to offend themselves by reading comments they know will contain things that will hurt their feelings. Fo... (read in full...)

Should I feel guilty about what I did?

Q.   I think i already know the answer to this but i would like to hear what other people think. Me and this guy ended up having a sexual relationship which lasted about 2 years, off and on. He lived quite a distance from me but we'd meet up when he ...

A.   14 February 2014: OP it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a weak fool. But you already know that. You don't feel bad for her because you see her as a competitor not a woman who is a victim of you and her partner fucking her over. You've objectif... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't last long in bed!

Q.   Me and my common-law husband been together for 5 years and just had our first born, and he is still releasing himself to early, maybe 1-2 mins max, and i dont get to finish or sometimes anywhere near finish. He never had this problem before with his ...

A.   14 February 2014: "never had this problem before with his ex's" How do you know? You say that like it's fact when it's not. When a guy says "that's never happened with my exes" it's quite simply a bullshit line to put the blame on you or brush it off as not a prob... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   13 February 2014: "I don't think anyone should have a say on how anyone else lives unless it's hurting someone!" Exactly but there's also no point in dismissing something that works for people either just because others may not like it. There can be more than one... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   13 February 2014: Sageoldguy1465 I think teaching people to be immune to criticism that's not directed at them would be better way of advancing the human condition. Instead of promoting hyper-sensitivity to everything and censoring everything you say because ... (read in full...)

Why is it okay to criticize big boobs?

Q.   Every time there is a question about small breasts, I've noticed a lot of people take it upon themselves to criticise big breasts and call them 'ugly' and 'saggy' it's really insensitive, and quite offensive. The latest question I'm referring to is ...

A.   13 February 2014: Seeing as you're pretty much referring to my reply, the answer is simple. You can literally find fault in everything and criticise everything. The point I was making was to show her the flaws in the things she deems to be better than what she has ... (read in full...)

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