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Latest articles:

Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 19 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

< Prev23456789101112Next > [171 pages, 6811 answers]

When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?

Q.   When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....

A.   27 April 2014: "I am still offended by the want for something different like most women are." Women do the exact same thing except it's movie stars and musicians they gush over. I know women more emotionally attached to Ryan Gosling or Drake than any man I've met ... (read in full...)

I've found my soulmate but I'm not ready for the commitment just yet.

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, something that I've known since I met him, but only recently hit me. I got with my boyfriend when I was only 17 so I had never experience...

A.   16 April 2014: OP there's nothing wrong with polyamory or all the variations thereof. But it's always a mutually agreed upon deal between two people who can handle that from the start. It doesn't work without mutual consent and it doesn't work if you're trying to ... (read in full...)

When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?

Q.   When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....

A.   16 April 2014: When I'm single and haven't sex in a while then yes I do. But when I'm in a relationship not at all. I don't need to pretend I'm having sex when I can just go to my wife and have real sex. Porn is just a visual masturbation aid. A penis in a vagina ... (read in full...)

I've found my soulmate but I'm not ready for the commitment just yet.

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, something that I've known since I met him, but only recently hit me. I got with my boyfriend when I was only 17 so I had never experience...

A.   16 April 2014: If your boyfriend was in the same room as you and the other guy would you have "messed around" in that way, and would your boyfriend be okay with you two doing that? If the answer is "no" then that's cheating, OP. Putting yourself in a situ... (read in full...)

I've been debating asking her out for months or waiting for the right moment but nothing seems to work!

Q.   I am currently at school right now and met a girl I find I really like a lot. We transferred in the same semester (this is both our first semesters) and are in a class together, often get paired in group projects together, etc. I've been debating ...

A.   15 April 2014: Don't confess anything, just ask her out on a date. OP it's not really a good idea to just pour your feelings out after months of knowing someone anyway, it's a bit much. It's not bad to admit and show interest of course but you don't want to over... (read in full...)

Is he too bossy or too keen?

Q.   Should I be put off by this ?. I have been meeting up with a guy that I met recently. He has told me that he would like to date me, but I'm not sure what to do yet. I recently broke up with someone, and I still miss him. This guy tried to call...

A.   15 April 2014: I don't see it, OP, I don't see where you get the idea he's too bossy or keen. OP with all due respect you are quite stand-offish, not answering your phone (I know you had your reason), also lying to him about what you're up to instead of just sayi... (read in full...)

Is there one person you've never got over?

Q.   Is there one person you've never got over? When I was in my early 20s I had a brief (2 year) relationship with a man. He was the first man to ever treat me properly and he was the perfect gentleman - for the first 18 months at least! The last ...

A.   15 April 2014: "Is there one person you've never got over?" No. I've had some great loves in my life but to me they were just practice runs/training exercises for my current relationship. The one I have now is the best I've ever had, so I don't look back and thin... (read in full...)

He has found himself a "girlfriend"!

Q.   One of my best guy friends has been ignoring the usual gang since he found himself a "girlfriend". Lets call her J. They are not officially together because she has a boyfriend who is studying overseas but she is cheating on him (physically and ...

A.   15 April 2014: Nothing, our friends make mistakes, do stupid shit and as long as they don't mess us about or drag us into their mess then it's on them to deal with it. You'll fuck up in life too, OP, do you want to be ditched by your friends every time you do? ... (read in full...)

My husband manipulates everything back to sex!

Q.   I'm fed up with my spouse, 4 yrs together, both in our 40's. our relationship started off with infidelity ,on his part, and continued on and off for a few months till I found out. His solution was to bury his head in the sand whilst I'd did my best ...

A.   15 April 2014: The guy sounds no good, OP or he's a total addict that needs help. I watch porn regularly as does my wife, it is a masturbation aid not a way of life. I actually don't think porn is the issue here at all though, OP. The guy either does not want to ... (read in full...)

I gave him my phone number but I'm not interested in dating him. What should I do?

Q.   I went out on Sunday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at all romantic...

A.   15 April 2014: Just to add: Being honest but obviously not telling him who you like, really is the most respectful and mature way of dealing with this. Next time, OP, just say "No thanks, I'm interested in someone at the moment." If they know you don't have a b... (read in full...)

I gave him my phone number but I'm not interested in dating him. What should I do?

Q.   I went out on Sunday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at all romantic...

A.   15 April 2014: Most women like you just ignore us but you can't do that this time because he's not a stranger, he knows your social group and it may stir up shit. You also can't say "yes" because he's interested in you and friendship is not going to happen with... (read in full...)

What's worse? Being in a relationship with a cheating coward or an arrogant know-it-all?

Q.   What's worse? - Being in a relationshpip with a cheating coward or a arrogant know-it-all? Or are both types equally undesirable? Any related comments or thoughts would be very helpful. Thank you ...

A.   15 April 2014: Technically an arrogant know-it-all is less likely to give me an STD so that's not "worse". I'd not be with either though. I don't get why anyone would choose either when there's a sea full of good fish out there. These aren't the only two availabl... (read in full...)

I want a relationship and she's happy with the way things are now, I'm not sure what to do next?

Q.   I was hoping to get some advice on what I should do in this situation I'm in. Quite honestly it's not one I've been in before so not sure what to do. I've been seeing this girl for a little while now. I'm a young professional and she is a stu...

A.   14 April 2014: You're being a bit too impatient, OP if you ask me. You know where she is mentally, you only met up 5 times before she got back and technically had a break in between. If you want her you'll have to be patient and not force this. OP is she a gir... (read in full...)

Should I confess about the kiss while we were on a break?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for 4 years, but last summer I got in a fight with my girlfriend and we broke up for a day, and on that day I kissed one of her friends. I feel really bad about it, especially since our relationship is going so well ...

A.   14 April 2014: Ah yes, the old Ross and Rachel. It'll probably play out the same way. What you need to decide, OP, is whether you not telling her is something that will ruin her trust more when she finds out. I mean I'd personally find it much easier to get over... (read in full...)

Teen daughter asked me to get her a vibrator

Q.   caught my daughter (15) using my vibrater she finished then came to me she said that had sex once and did not like it she like pleasing her self better than she asked if I could get her a vibrated of her own an teach or help her to makes sure she is ...

A.   14 April 2014: I think you should, OP, she's at the age where she is exploring sex, you may aswell guide her in that safely. No matter what your husband thinks she will explore that side of things and you can either let porn be her teacher, with its very skew... (read in full...)

Pregnant despite the pill -- how to tell the new b/f?

Q.   Hi everyone I have a bit of a problem and could do with some help I have been with my boyfriend for 9 weeks now I am on the pill but have just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant I'm in total shock does anyone have any advice on how to break this news ...

A.   14 April 2014: Have you had it confirmed by a doctor? False positives are quite common. OP personally I think you should decide what you want to do in terms of keeping it etc. if you can before you tell him. I'd talk to a family member or best friend for advi... (read in full...)

Break or no break?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and lately we've been having more conflicts than usual. We've been spending a lot of time together these past months and seeing each other almost every day unless we each other have plans. He's usually ...

A.   14 April 2014: Female anon is right, OP, you sound very needy, demanding and like you're smothering him. You're with each other every day, you need to talk about "us" so often that it's causing fights, you demand more time and attention from him even though you ... (read in full...)

Will my mom get over me moving out with bf?

Q.   I am moving in with my boyfriend of almost four years and my mom is upset. I made all the arrangements before telling her and she apparently feels that was disrespectful. If I had discussed it before hand I think that would have felt too much li...

A.   14 April 2014: OP what you're really asking is will your old fashioned mother, with a specific view of how your life should be, ever stop trying to tell you what she thinks is best? I doubt it. It's what mothers do. Mine is very liberal and relaxed, and she stil... (read in full...)

I'm wondering if I need to just be blunt, ask him his salary and then maybe nip it in the bud if it is too little money. Should I be honest?

Q.   I'm in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would maybe prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a sweet guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very ...

A.   13 April 2014: I disagree with the others, OP, in the sense that I do think you should find that out early so you don't waste any of their time nor they yours. I mean I wouldn't date a woman with the kind of life plan you have, so it would be nice to know nice... (read in full...)

The guy doesn't seem to know what he wants and I'm not into playing games. Should I just forget it?

Q.   Hi , I need some honest advice . Dated a guy for three months ( he was waiting on his divorce to be finalised ) . He then sends by text the old line " It's not you , it's me ...I am not ready for any kind of relationship " . I felt annoyed ...

A.   12 April 2014: "Hey, how are you? I know I said I'm not interested but I've decided, seeing as you're the only one who paid me any attention lately and I'm feeling sexually frustrated, to let you see if you can shag me into wanting a relationship with you. No ... (read in full...)

6 months pregnant and my dog has started waking me up every few hours! Why is she doing this?

Q.   This isnt a relationship question but i would like some advice if anyone can give it to me. My problem is my dog....shes 3 years old so not a puppy and we have had her for almost 2 years..so she is very settled in the house. No routines have cha...

A.   12 April 2014: Is she by any chance coming into heat? Sounds like that me. It sounds like she's treating you like a puppy, cleaning your face while you sleep. Dogs don't really lick faces to wake people up if it's not something they learned, they'll use thei... (read in full...)

I left this woman to go back to my ex but I've never stopped thinking of her. Should I contact her?

Q.   Hello, well about two years ago i met someone, it lasted about three months, she treated me fantastic, but then my ex poped back into the picture, she treated me really bad , even hit me but I was in love with her, so i dumped the new one, went back ...

A.   12 April 2014: You're not just talking about a small text, you're talking about reopening the lines of communication so you can fuck with her head again all because things didn't work out with the woman you dumped her for. "Hey darling, I know I dumped you without ... (read in full...)

Should I date a guy who does drugs?

Q.   Would this put you off someone ?. I met a guy recently. He seems really nice,and it seems like we have things in common, but something happened today which made me feel uncomfortable. I was in a pub with him. Another woman who was in the pub...

A.   12 April 2014: I say don't bother, OP. As a person who has smoked drugs, dropped pills, and snorted powder plenty of times, I can say it's probably not the scene for you. As for the two women, that's nothing. He invited them and probably others back to his plac... (read in full...)

I'm at a crossroads, do I work things out with my ex or stay with my new boyfriend?

Q.   Hello! I am taking the time in advance for taking the time to read my agony and for any help you may provide. I also apologize for the lenghty paragraph. I am at a crossroads. I have an ex husband who I was with for 6 years and we have a...

A.   11 April 2014: OP you said it yourself, being with your ex just means fighting. You know very well you and he don't work. I agree with the others, I think you're romanticising the past and somehow convincing yourself it'd be worth it, well if it was worth it, OP, ... (read in full...)

How can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels about me?

Q.   How do can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels towards me? I recently broke up with my boyfriend and not on good terms I basically wrote to him on Facebook messages that I was cheating on him and it's best if we called it ...

A.   11 April 2014: FYI: I'm not calling you a bitch so please don't take it that way. You made a vicious mistake and we all make them. I'm just making it clear to you how he feels because for some reason you can't see that. He will destroy you if you push him, OP, let ... (read in full...)

How can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels about me?

Q.   How do can I get my ex to actually talk to me about the way he feels towards me? I recently broke up with my boyfriend and not on good terms I basically wrote to him on Facebook messages that I was cheating on him and it's best if we called it ...

A.   11 April 2014: Why would you need to get him to open to you about how he feels about you when we can tell you right now, and you know for definite, he thinks you're an utter bitch and he hates you? OP you didn't realise anything of the kind. You're just in the ... (read in full...)

How am I supposed to feel less useless if my mother shouts at me and criticizes me all the time?

Q.   I've decided I am going to try to get counselling because I feel very horribly about myself because my mother is very harsh on me and treats me like everything that goes wrong is my fault. She snaps at me all of the time when nothing has happ...

A.   11 April 2014: OP while counselling is a good idea you should go for as they'll probably help you find ways to deal with your mother, your first stop should be your dad. You need to ask him to take you for coffee or if you're the only two in the house to sit him ... (read in full...)

Could it be he prefers other girls but settles for me because I'm so eager to spend time with him?

Q.   Hello. I have a complicated relationship with my best friend. We have known each other for two years now, and have spent a whole lot of time getting to know each other. In fact, we're together so much we are mistaken for a couple all of the time. ...

A.   11 April 2014: It could mean anything, OP. We honestly can't say. It could mean he likes you but thinks you're not interested so he's trying not to get too attached, it could be that he doesn't see you romantically at all and doesn't want to give you the wrong ... (read in full...)

Guys, what should I do next? I want to see him again.

Q.   A question for the guys: If you met a woman at a party and she wanted to see you again, how would you like to be contacted? I was at a huge anniversary party yesterday. I was bored so I looked across the room and I saw this charming guy who was ...

A.   11 April 2014: I'd add him on Facebook, if he accepts then I'd send a message saying I hope he doesn't find it weird that I added him but it was lovely to talk to him those times. OP if you've found his Facebook, have you checked to see if he's spoken for? If ther... (read in full...)

Facebook friend question

Q.   Just a quick question. I want to know would you think it was strange/weird if someone sends you a Facebook request when although you've chatted briefly you haven't exchanged names. Would you think it was odd how they managed to find out your na...

A.   11 April 2014: For me, no. I'd see it as a person interested in me enough to find me online, nothing sinister. They found through public profiles I keep using information that's easily obtained. It's not hard to find people online at all, to me it's like meet... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my stubborn mother-in-law?

Q.   My husband and I dated for 7 years and married for 4 years with 3 children. He was a very obedient son he will never make any decisions without his mom's input. We lived together for 2 years in an apartment (both worked) until his mom talked him ...

A.   10 April 2014: While I don't have those kind of issues my in-laws I have a tacit agreement with my wife that any such conflict will be handled by the person whose mother/father it is. OP it's up to him to put his mother in her place if needs be. I know he took... (read in full...)

My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know

Q.   My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...

A.   10 April 2014: So find out from the guy you think may have HIV whether he does or not.... (read in full...)

Dream wedding and budget woes, am I asking for too much?

Q.   My fiance and I will be together for four years the end of June. We got engaged the end of this January and I wanted to figure things out with my education before we got into the thick of wedding planning. I'll graduate with my Bachelor's in English ...

A.   10 April 2014: Well you could wait an extra year and save if you like, OP. Mine was an Italian castle, very extravagant to the point of embarrassment but made amazing by fact of the people there, roughly 200 family, friends and acquaintances all drunk and wast... (read in full...)

What are some not-so-obvious signs of rejection that you give off?

Q.   So i know there is really no clear answer for this (except for the obvious) but just thought I'd throw it out there, since I've been doing the online dating thing for a year now... and don't seem to be too great about reading my dates. So of cou...

A.   10 April 2014: Just stop looking for signs altogether, OP. Who cares if their legs are facing away from you or they're fiddling with their hair? In my experience they can be all over you, rubbing your crotch full on and the next day not even want to acknowle... (read in full...)

My friend cheats on her boyfriend, and I think he has a right to know

Q.   My dilemma actually has to do with my best friend and her boyfriend. He supports her financially, pays all the bills, and even takes care of her newborn whom ended up not being his. He forgaveher once for cheating. Well, here recently sshe's had sex ...

A.   10 April 2014: She's your best friend, not him. So tell her to tell him and tell her to get tested for HIV. If she refuses to, then tell her you'll have to tell him as you cannot stand by and watch her pass on HIV to him, because it's illegal to do that. OP as f... (read in full...)

I'm unemployed and caring for my mother -- is any guy going to look at me twice?

Q.   thanks for reading my post. i really need advice. i am 34 years old. i am in good shape and i have very friendly personality. i am honest and educated . my mom diagonais with cancer. she is under treatment. she lost her job and i had to resign from ...

A.   10 April 2014: Most people will be fine with it but plenty won't too. The two main issues for me would be do you have the time and emotion to invest in dating me or is it all taken up by caring for your mother? When I date I'm not looking to become someone'... (read in full...)

His family and friends hate me because of our past

Q.   Please bear with me as this could be long. I got into a relationship a while ago with a man who I'd been friends with for a while. Things were great to start and as we'd been friends so long our families and friends all got along with each other. I...

A.   10 April 2014: Again, OP, time and patience, that's all you can do. You're up against it in many ways here and I honestly don't know why you went back into this at all. It's a mess and he's a mess, and it seems to have gotten worse. OP you do realise that... (read in full...)

His family and friends hate me because of our past

Q.   Please bear with me as this could be long. I got into a relationship a while ago with a man who I'd been friends with for a while. Things were great to start and as we'd been friends so long our families and friends all got along with each other. I...

A.   10 April 2014: Just to add. Make sure you're not badgering him about this either, OP. Let it go. This relationship won't stay great if you're trying to push for things he can't give you, with them in his other ear telling him it's a bad idea too, it'll be a bit ... (read in full...)

His family and friends hate me because of our past

Q.   Please bear with me as this could be long. I got into a relationship a while ago with a man who I'd been friends with for a while. Things were great to start and as we'd been friends so long our families and friends all got along with each other. I...

A.   10 April 2014: OP they don't have a problem with you, they have a problem with what being with you has meant for him. It nearly killed him, OP. And you're here making this about you. It's nothing to do with you as a person it's to do with a situation that made... (read in full...)

Are these the signs of a friend or a man who is interested in more?

Q.   A man acts in the following ways with me: Always pays most attention to me in a group situation to the point where if we are all sitting and lingering after a discussion and some people leave and others stay but then I stand up to go, he will imme...

A.   9 April 2014: Yeah, I think you're reaching here, OP. I see nothing in this, except a guy who knows you've been through hell and wants to help you succeed in your post grad. I echo the counselling sentiment. Your college surely has support services, pop in for ... (read in full...)

Are cheaters always cheaters?

Q.   My ex constantly cheated when we were dating. I was even the one he cheated on his ex with. I forgave him everytime because I loved him and thought he loved me to death according to the commitment he gave and he would beg his parents and friends to ...

A.   9 April 2014: I don't date people who have cheated full stop. For me it's definitely a case of once a cheater always a cheater. I'm not going to risk my heart on a person who "might" have changed. They could justify it once in their mind, then as far as I'm conc... (read in full...)

He won't spend any time with my friends or family? I have to beg for him to do so!

Q.   Hey everyone so I have a question. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and two months. We live together as well. The problem is he wont go around my friends or family at all like he used to and he doesnt take me around his friends ...

A.   9 April 2014: No it's not normal, in my mind it's two possibilities. One depression and isolation or two he's on his way out of this relationship and is keeping your family etc. separate to make that process easier for him. He's severing the emotional bonds he m... (read in full...)

A little lost, hurt and vulnerable right now... Help?

Q.   Hi Everyone. First and foremost, thank you for reading this. I’m feeling a little lost, hurt and vulnerable right now, and I could really do with some wise words if you might be so kind. I had a partner (we’re both female) on and off over the...

A.   9 April 2014: It's only been 48 hours, OP, it's literally too soon to give you any advice other than to stay strong, cry with your family, cry with your friends and do not, under any circumstances get in contact with her again. Brush your teeth, get out of bed ... (read in full...)

Are these the signs of a friend or a man who is interested in more?

Q.   A man acts in the following ways with me: Always pays most attention to me in a group situation to the point where if we are all sitting and lingering after a discussion and some people leave and others stay but then I stand up to go, he will imme...

A.   9 April 2014: I think Tisha's may be right. OP "you look well" is a throwaway compliment that means nothing and you know it. It's a platitude. I see nothing romantic towards you. I'd check out your ass too if you were my friend and I'm married. It means no... (read in full...)

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