| Latest articles: Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
This question has 44 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...
Crushes on teachers
This question has 42 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...
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I followed my girlfriend and found out she was visiting her ex in prison. She was very upset that I followed her and found out. Now what?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for over seven months now. We met over a dating site, but an amusing turn found that we shared a large group of mutual friends that lived near each of us. Everything had been going smoothly until sometime in the middle ...
A. 13 April 2013: "I still can't choose to abandon her when I know she needs the positive reinforcement."
Oh I see, so you're basically just a bit codependent then OP.
You'd rather be a counsellor than a partner to her basically. In other words she gets a pass on ... (read in full...)
He has been texting my ex pretending to be me
Q. A year into our relationship, My boyfriend found out I was seeing someone when we first started dating. I had been seeing this other person for a year and although I liked him he didnt want a relationship. we were more like FWB , i stopped seeing ...
A. 13 April 2013: Go to couples counselling OP.
I can see it from both sides. I would have dumped you for the lies and frankly I think that may have been his best option as it looks very unlikely he's going to get over this.
But in that sense OP if I were in your ... (read in full...)
We can never see each other because my boyfriend is always in trouble!
Q. I just wanna know what's the point of being in a relationship if we can't see each other. Me and my boyfriend been going out for 9 months and he's 16 and I'm 17. He's always on punishment and getting his phone taken, he lives with his dad and he's ...
A. 13 April 2013: "my boyfriend gets his phone taken for the dumbest things like waking up late for school and not taking the dog out for a walk."
Yeah dumb on the part of your boyfriend OP, your boyfriend is an idiot. How hard is it to walk the dog? How hard is it t... (read in full...)
I followed my girlfriend and found out she was visiting her ex in prison. She was very upset that I followed her and found out. Now what?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for over seven months now. We met over a dating site, but an amusing turn found that we shared a large group of mutual friends that lived near each of us. Everything had been going smoothly until sometime in the middle ...
A. 13 April 2013: You can't trust her OP because she can't trust herself to do what's right for herself, her parents or you. You cannot have a good healthy relationship with a woman like that.
I mean if her parents are going to be like that about it, then why woul... (read in full...)
Is sex really ruined when a man has to pull out?
Q. Because of a medical condition, I do not use contraception such as the pill or injection etc. My doctor many years ago taught me how to calculate my fertile days etc which has worked perfectly for many years. My ex and I used this method fine for ...
A. 12 April 2013: I didn't call you a whore OP, I said you're being treated like one when it comes to sex.
Yeah disgraceful is not a word I should have used and I apologise for that. I shouldn't have quoted her directly it was just how she talks.
OP I can be n... (read in full...)
How to win a girl to be yours forever
Q. Im a boy aged 19.the three past years.i fall in deep love with a certain beatifull girl.we have been together and still loving each until today.the way i love this girl is incotrolable because i have passed a lot of problems which might end up our ...
A. 12 April 2013: No don't impregnate her OP, it doesn't feel right to you because you know it's not fair.
A far better way is to have a good job, after a good education and a nice home in which you can raise a family.
If you at least work towards those things t... (read in full...)
"To go or not to go" that is my question?
Q. I've always gotten solid reliable from you guys, I expect nothing less. I work in a very small office..38-43 folks. I'm mid 50s, blessed with good genes, high metabolism, very active, bikes to work everyday rain, shine, snow, etc., you get the pict...
A. 12 April 2013: The question is why would you not go? I mean if you're worried about awkwardness then screw that OP, you're no teenager, you can handle that kind of stuff. I mean if she's the only reason you want to go and she's not going to talk to you then maybe ... (read in full...)
Is this a relaxed body language or a sign that they like your body language
Q. I am in my 40's and sat next to a man in a pub and the guy is sitting normally at a table with a group of you all about the same age. After a while he turns his body to face slightly towards you to spread out leaning his back to the side wall of ...
A. 12 April 2013: Not really, comfort does not denote interest OP. In fact many times comfort shows disinterest as they don't feel the need to impress.
OP I've read many articles and stuff about body language showing interest and found most to be supposition. Mirr... (read in full...)
He's welcome to go out and have fun with his friends, but I can't take him smoking pot
Q. My bf likes to go out with his friends once in awhile. It doesn't bother me that he does, I trust him. The fact is.... he does not respect my feelings on the aspect of smoking pot with his friends. All of his friends do this so he does to. I asked ...
A. 12 April 2013: OP the question all boils to this. He's not going to stop smoking it no matter what you do, that's his social scene, no matter how many promises he makes after a few drinks he'll probably always think it's a good idea.
OP is a compromise poss... (read in full...)
My boyfriend blew me off to hang out at a strip club
Q. Well.. Simply put. I'm leaving to go back home tomorrow and I'll be gone for a few weeks. Our friends are in town though and I wanted him to get some time with them so I said he could go out, and he promised to be home by 10 at the latest so we ...
A. 12 April 2013: I'm on the overeacting side of things here too.
My fiancée is 100% a woman who will say "I'm just going for one after work" and end up at home wasted at 4 am.
She's always been like that, her best laid plans all go to waste after that 3rd vodka an... (read in full...)
How do I talk to him without starting another row?
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for nearly 4 months, he lives 3 hours from me so we cant see each other much. (im 24 and hes 26) Our friendship has been amazing, purely of how much in common we have. We talked to each other every single day ...
A. 12 April 2013: "My opinion, even though its only been 4 months, what difference does it make if i move in with him, than going in another flat with complete strangers?"
OP to me 4 months is not far off being a stranger still. I'm not trying to patronize you at a... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want a relationship with me?
Q. I was dating a guy who I met on a dating site for two months. He actually stated that he wants a relationship and so do I. Our dates were really fun at first, we seemed pretty compatible. I've even met his friends and they all liked me but he was ...
A. 12 April 2013: It's just dating OP, he did't lead you on unless he said he wanted a relationship with you.
OP dating is about testing the compatibility of a potential partner and having fun. If either of those conditions aren't met then you're free to call it a... (read in full...)
How do I talk to him without starting another row?
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for nearly 4 months, he lives 3 hours from me so we cant see each other much. (im 24 and hes 26) Our friendship has been amazing, purely of how much in common we have. We talked to each other every single day ...
A. 12 April 2013: You've been "friends" only 4 months OP, and sorry but the message with heart thing sounds like a teenage thing. Are you really your stated age? I don't mean to sound patronizing but come on, you hardly even know the guy, yet you talk about moving ... (read in full...)
My supervisor flirts with me but I just found out he is gay!
Q. I have a supervisor at my job who always seems like he is flirting, I mean he will come stand me and starts singing songs, asking me dumb questions, and trying to joke with me like guys normally would do if they are trying to get a girls attention. ...
A. 12 April 2013: Just look at it as a dude who finds it fun to be flirty. That's it, nothing else. It's just a bit of banter and fun. It doesn't offend you, it doesn't put you out, so just enjoy the banter but be careful not to overstep the boundaries of ... (read in full...)
Is sex really ruined when a man has to pull out?
Q. Because of a medical condition, I do not use contraception such as the pill or injection etc. My doctor many years ago taught me how to calculate my fertile days etc which has worked perfectly for many years. My ex and I used this method fine for ...
A. 12 April 2013: No, not in the way he makes it sound. My fiancée says "tits or belly" when she wants me to pull out. She doesn't always want to have take her time cleaning up spunk that is slowly oozing out of her vagina, and it's easier to just clean her tits. I'd ... (read in full...)
Who hurts more in a break up?
Q. Who hurts more in the long run? The dumper or dumpee ...
A. 12 April 2013: It depends on the situation OP.
Some people don't like being the dumper so they intentionally spoil the relationship so the other person will end it. The dumper then is the one most hurt because they've been treated badly and were forced to dump... (read in full...)
How can I know that I'm not going to get repeatedly hurt by this guy?
Q. I know what I want, I've been in and out of relationships for years and I know that this time what I'm feeling is real, I didn't want to have feelings for this guy but I did. The problem is I'm worried his feelings aren't real. I'm his first real ...
A. 12 April 2013: Okay completely forget everything I said in my last post, I read your question wrong. Sorry about that. I read it that you were on/off with this guy for years. The answer is just as simple though. You can't know for sure, none of us never know for ... (read in full...)
How can I know that I'm not going to get repeatedly hurt by this guy?
Q. I know what I want, I've been in and out of relationships for years and I know that this time what I'm feeling is real, I didn't want to have feelings for this guy but I did. The problem is I'm worried his feelings aren't real. I'm his first real ...
A. 12 April 2013: "How can I know for sure that I'm not just going to get repeatedly hurt by this guy because his feelings aren't as real as he thinks?"
You can't because I can tell you for sure that you are going to be repeatedly hurt by this guy. 100% sure in fact... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated with a girl who is now making my life miserable
Q. Dear cupid I feel so devastated and I don't even know how I got into this situation. I was in a serious relationship with my boyfriend who I really loved. I found out he basically cheated on me with a girl who has had an on again off again re...
A. 12 April 2013: "Why is this girl doing this to me and what should I do?"
Because you're letting her.
OP why? Because she's just an utter cunt and this is what cunts do. What you should do is treat her like a cunt and call her out next time you see her. Make a m... (read in full...)
Does Giving up porn give you ED
Q. My boyfriend's sex drive has decreased. It's been at over a month since we've had good sex. The rest of the time he looses his erection, or doesn't get one. It's been quite frustrating for me, and I've told him that it makes me feel like something ...
A. 12 April 2013: Patience is probably the only way. OP getting over an addiction is highly stressful, if that's been an integral part of his sexuality then there are going to be effects on his libido. I know logically giving up porn should make him more ready seeing ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend very insecure because I watched porn
Q. I have been in a very serious relationship for the last five years with an amazing girl. I love her so much. I would take a bullet for her. I am going to propose to her soon but I don't know when. She's the only person I've ever been in a relati...
A. 12 April 2013: Just to add, she expects to be able to trust you to protect her feelings too OP. So she asks if she's fat, you going to be honest there too even if she has gained some weight? Sorry OP but you're an idiot for feeling obliged to tell a girl with such ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend very insecure because I watched porn
Q. I have been in a very serious relationship for the last five years with an amazing girl. I love her so much. I would take a bullet for her. I am going to propose to her soon but I don't know when. She's the only person I've ever been in a relati...
A. 12 April 2013: I suppose you're going to tell her the consistency of your last shit too? Going to tell her that when you were a kid you tasted your own piss or licked a dogs asshole? No secrets right. So why would you keep your latest shit to yourself, grab a bag ... (read in full...)
Anxiety attacks. How can I get my Dad to understand that anxiety is a real condition?
Q. I suffer from high anxiety, and have for a while now. It is mostly related to the stress of college and academics. I also occasionally get panic attacks. I have suffered in my grades because of this, but I am doing my best. It's a process, and I'm...
A. 12 April 2013: I found an awesome user on youtube recently who has a similar condition her username is snowflake891000. Her vlog is pretty cool. OP what do you expect of him and what benefit do you hope to achieve? He sounds old school, he's probably not going to ... (read in full...)
How do I confront my cheating Fiance without making her angry because I spyed into her emails?
Q. How do you let your fiance know that you know she is cheating without her getting mad because you have been looking at her email that she keeps leaving open, most recent email to her "friend" "I still want to meet with you. I want to try if you ar...
A. 11 April 2013: Jesus OP are you that scared of her or weak that she could actually redirect this away from her cheating to you being bad for snooping?
For me the process would be simple.
I'd print out that email and add my own little note to it. "No need to ... (read in full...)
Not sure if she's waiting for me to make the next move?
Q. Met this girl on a night out at the start of march. We talked, laughed and ended up kissing in the club. Exchanged numbers and text back and forth quite a bit for a few days before I asked her out for a date. The 1st date went great, we talked and ...
A. 11 April 2013: "Not sure if she's waiting for me to make the next move?"
I'm not even going to read what you wrote OP because it no doubt contains a bunch of useless details you're reading far too deeply into and you're just confusing yourself.
The whole process ... (read in full...)
I want to change and be a better healthier person, both mentally and physically - Advice please??
Q. Hey all! I'm extremely tired of the life I'm living and the mental attitude I have towards it. As far as I can remember, I have always had low self esteem, slightly overweight, allowing others to walk all over me, needy for constant affection, ...
A. 11 April 2013: "How do I change and be everything I am supposed to be??"
The physical changes are the easiest of all. Go to a sports store today, buy a vinyl or leather skipping and buy training sneakers/trainers whatever you call them where you're from.
Go to... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend lied about being a virgin
Q. Well my girlfriend had said that she had almost had sex with someone I know before we were dating but the way she had told the story made me feel as though she was lying she said she was a virgin (as was I) when we first had sex but she didn't reac...
A. 11 April 2013: She didn't lie OP she just interpreted it wrong.
OP in my experience when a woman says "almost had sex" it generally means he stuck it in a couple of times but they didn't keep going. A lot of women think they're virgins still after that but we both... (read in full...)
Jealous BF has a weekend away with friends and it includes a woman that has a crush on him!
Q. I am quite jealous of another girl my boyfriend knows. I know this girl is a big flirt and I've seen her flirt with my boyfriend several times. About 3 people have told me that this girl has told them that she really likes my boyfriend. Problem f...
A. 11 April 2013: "How do you guys personally deal with girls flirting with your boyfriends or a girl who has a crush on him?" I don't, because my fiancée doesn't allow that kind of situation to develop. It's not up to me to deal with guys who come on to her or have ... (read in full...)
Would a BJ make a difference if the BF has a low sex drive?
Q. Want to give my boyfriend spontaneous blow job, but lately his sex drive has been really low and i'm afraid if i attempt to give him a spontaneous blowjob he's going to shut me down or something...should i just take a chance and go for it? or no?...
A. 11 April 2013: Go for it. It's a blow job the worst that can happen is he says no. The gesture will be greatly appreciated even if he does say he's not in the mood. Just understand OP, giving him head isn't going to make him horny again, and don't get into the... (read in full...)
I give expensive gifts because I think it'll keep them interested in me for longer!
Q. Hey everyone, Background: I never really had a father -daughter relationship with my dad,we never were really close,but he would always give me the pocket money as a child and give me anything I would point on! Fast forward to now, This has b...
A. 11 April 2013: OP we're men, the only time we expect gifts is our birthday and xmas. If you want a real reason you should stop understand one thing, when you try to buy a guy OP you emasculate him. It may be 2013 but we still want to feel like the provider... (read in full...)
I want Sex and my GF is happy without it, what am I missing?
Q. My girlfriend and I have almost no sex life anymore. I've tried talking to her about this. She tells me that she just "doesn't feel like sex". The problem is that she seems to be happy to go without sex forever, but I just can't do that - I gave her ...
A. 11 April 2013: You need to talk to her and tell her this is an issue for you OP. Tell her what you told us and ask her if this is just how much sex she has always been happy with or has she just lost her libido somehow. If she's lost her libido then she needs to... (read in full...)
B/f says if I leave the country he'll break up with me
Q. my boyfriend of 5 years wants us to get married within a few months. I will be leaving the country in the next few months also but he told me that if i leave he will break up with me. I have been waiting for this opporunity to go overseas for a ...
A. 10 April 2013: OP just to be clear, even if he only put it in terms of him having no choice that he couldn't handle separation and thinks it wouldn't last if you left. The fact he won't even try says it all, the fact he'd want to marry you yet only on his terms on ... (read in full...)
I'm insulted that my ex said our time together was "nice"!
Q. My ex just said our time together was "nice" and I feel kind of insulted. I felt like replying, "and your love-making, sir, was perfectly adequate," but I'm just not that quick on my feet. Now that I've been downgraded, I can't stop thinkin...
A. 10 April 2013: Sorry OP but you sound very egotistical "How dare anyone call me merely "nice" what a fucking insult, I'm queen or the world!". First off he's your ex, who gives a shit what he thought?
Secondly 'nice' is a good term. You need to let go of your ego ... (read in full...)
B/f says if I leave the country he'll break up with me
Q. my boyfriend of 5 years wants us to get married within a few months. I will be leaving the country in the next few months also but he told me that if i leave he will break up with me. I have been waiting for this opporunity to go overseas for a ...
A. 10 April 2013: Well fuck him then OP, he knows how important this is to you and he's blackmailing you to get his own way?
Fuck that. You know OP no matter how long I've been with a woman, one single threat to break up with me and I end it.
I was with a woman tw... (read in full...)
My girlfriend admitted to masturbating to her male friends of hers. Is this normal?
Q. My girlfriend admitted to masturbating to certain male friends of hers. She even told me which ones. I appreciate how honest she is and regret that I even asked. She claims her fantasies don't reflect real desires- that she really doesn't want to ...
A. 10 April 2013: "I don't think it's normal to be masturbating to your friends while in a relationship."
Yeah of course it is. Do you have sexy thoughts about other women? Look at Jessica Alba in a bikini with her nipples poking through and imagine, even for one ... (read in full...)
Will I be labeled as a liar? I didn't tell the truth about how many sexual partners I have had
Q. Hello, I'm writing because I'm in a bit of a situation. I was in a relationship for 7 years from the age of 15 and completely adored the guy. On reflection, he was rather manipulative, unsupprotive and didn't really care about me. This was a...
A. 10 April 2013: "There was one other guy I was seeing for a little while but nothing came of it."
Simple OP. OP if it only came up as casual conversation then I really doubt you have anything to worry about. Always be wary of guys who make a point of knowing. Too ... (read in full...)
If she was so disgusted why didn't she make him wear a condom?
Q. this is a similar problem to what many other guys posted about being obsessed with their wives past sex lives. but this is a little different. she was married to this selfish loser for twenty years, had two kids by him.was a virgin she discovered ...
A. 10 April 2013: Who cares OP, why does it matter whether he wore a condom or whether he liked to put jam on his toast?
What's the big deal?... (read in full...)
I'm in a bit of a mess dealing with my feelings towards his daughter and his Ex
Q. I've posted some of my story before, so this will be straight to the point, my fiance has a very young daughter, only 9 months (yes, i know... why the hell am I engaged so soon, there's a reason, and i've heard every opinion there is to hear already ...
A. 9 April 2013: OP you don't have to justify yourself to me or anyone. I don't know you, I'm just an internet stranger who responds to the tiny bits you post.
The only things that matter is that you're happy, you're doing the best to remain happy while taking ever... (read in full...)
Girlfriend cheated, I no longer wish to be with her. She is emotionally blackmailing me saying she won't be able to live without me!
Q. i am in relationship for the past two years. everything was great until i caught my girlfriend cheating on me. even though i confronted her she somehow emotionally tricked me into staying with her. i am unable to forget this incident. i made it ...
A. 9 April 2013: "Clearly some of the people on here don't know of anyone who threatened suicide and then actually followed through."
I've known 4 people who committed suicide, one a very close friend. None of them threatened it, they were just found dead. No one ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop doing weed. What can I do? I don't know what to do about his actions any more
Q. Hi Everyone, I would love some help right now please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and we have always been happy, things are almost perfect. When we argue, it is all about the weed. When we started going out he only smoked...
A. 9 April 2013: It makes you angry that people you judge for not smoking it then you call those who do pathetic, you say they choose weed over people and you say they must be unhappy?
You're the one being judgemental OP so yeah, I will defend against those judg... (read in full...)
I'm in a bit of a mess dealing with my feelings towards his daughter and his Ex
Q. I've posted some of my story before, so this will be straight to the point, my fiance has a very young daughter, only 9 months (yes, i know... why the hell am I engaged so soon, there's a reason, and i've heard every opinion there is to hear already ...
A. 9 April 2013: You don't have to apologise to me in any way, if you're not being sarcastic.
My post was very harsh but I stand by what I said.
You need to be patient and let her do this on her terms. If your fiancé pushes this on her, then she's not going to... (read in full...)
If we're broken up then why is she still getting in touch with me?
Q. She called yesterday and she called today. She texted a few days ago just wanting to know how I am. We broke up. Well, technically as she would put it, I broke up with her over two weeks ago. Yet, she still contacts me. If the relationship is over ...
A. 8 April 2013: There's no hostility, my apologies if that's how it came off.
I don't see why you don't get it though. People find it hard to let go, will want to contact you if they're still thinking about you and miss you.
You still didn't answer my questi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop doing weed. What can I do? I don't know what to do about his actions any more
Q. Hi Everyone, I would love some help right now please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and we have always been happy, things are almost perfect. When we argue, it is all about the weed. When we started going out he only smoked...
A. 8 April 2013: In fact she stated quite clearly he's a pretty good boyfriend other than the weed issue. She said he works, for all you know his job could be a good one with good prospects. I wouldn't be so quick to cast down people who smoke weed regularly, I know ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop doing weed. What can I do? I don't know what to do about his actions any more
Q. Hi Everyone, I would love some help right now please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and we have always been happy, things are almost perfect. When we argue, it is all about the weed. When we started going out he only smoked...
A. 8 April 2013: I don't get your point there Chigirl, if a person drinks tea every day are they caffeine addicts? No, they're not. An addict is someone who can't stop. There's nothing in her question that says he can't, he may well just not want to. I wouldn't go ... (read in full...)
If we're broken up then why is she still getting in touch with me?
Q. She called yesterday and she called today. She texted a few days ago just wanting to know how I am. We broke up. Well, technically as she would put it, I broke up with her over two weeks ago. Yet, she still contacts me. If the relationship is over ...
A. 8 April 2013: Actually OP the question is more, if you're a person who doesn't believe in friendship after then why are you responding to her shit?
Who cares why she is doing what she's doing, she's really only doing it because she knows she'll get a resp... (read in full...)
Girlfriend cheated, I no longer wish to be with her. She is emotionally blackmailing me saying she won't be able to live without me!
Q. i am in relationship for the past two years. everything was great until i caught my girlfriend cheating on me. even though i confronted her she somehow emotionally tricked me into staying with her. i am unable to forget this incident. i made it ...
A. 8 April 2013: Stop being a pussy and just break up with her.
If she says she'll die again then say "So? I don't care what happens to you from now on because I'm breaking up with you. You're already dead to me, I don't care whether you physically die or not. Goo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop doing weed. What can I do? I don't know what to do about his actions any more
Q. Hi Everyone, I would love some help right now please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and we have always been happy, things are almost perfect. When we argue, it is all about the weed. When we started going out he only smoked...
A. 8 April 2013: OP he could be getting annoyed because of the weed or he could be getting annoyed that you're giving him so much shit over it when you damn well knew he a smoker before you met him.
The only mistake I see here is him promising to stop and not doin... (read in full...)
I'm in a bit of a mess dealing with my feelings towards his daughter and his Ex
Q. I've posted some of my story before, so this will be straight to the point, my fiance has a very young daughter, only 9 months (yes, i know... why the hell am I engaged so soon, there's a reason, and i've heard every opinion there is to hear already ...
A. 8 April 2013: "How long should this wait-and-see period be before she lets me be around her daughter before I should start getting worried? a year? less? more?"
For as long as she needs to feel safe and comfortable with you OP, not a moment before.
"How can I ex... (read in full...)
| *erberus's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erberus has
added them and they have added *erberus!
|