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Latest articles:

Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 19 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

< Prev23456789101112Next > [173 pages, 6891 answers]

Mum as wingman, good or bad idea?

Q.   I hope this doesn't sound bad, but does anyone see anything wrong with going to places with your mother a lot ?. My mother and I have been to a lot of gigs together over the years. I am 30 and she is 55. I guess sometimes people can think that a ...

A.   9 May 2014: OP it'd only be a problem if you were a teenager or she was embarrassing. At our age mothers are just regular women, my mother is tonnes of fun and still knows how to party. My friends think she's cooler than me. Just tell her next time you're o... (read in full...)

Cat-calling, how bad is it and how do you ladies handle it?

Q.   Cat-Calling This is a question for any ladies out there who have experienced what is commonly known as 'cat-calling' (E.G strangers calling out sexual remarks to them.) My daughter, who is in her early 20's and lives away from home, was tellin...

A.   9 May 2014: I haven't done it either, I'm more of a "damn look at her she's really hot, oh shit did I look too long at her? I'll have another quick look to see if she noticed, oh shit she doesn't look happy, damn" type of guy. OP that kind of stuff is very comm... (read in full...)

I thought all men liked giving anal sex! Is he a weirdo?

Q.   Am a bit confused about the situation am in it also may sound a bit silly. I have been with my partner now for 7-8 years now and I should think i know him but.... When we got together ok we experimented with each other in the bed room department and ...

A.   9 May 2014: OP imagine you're a guy for a moment and you have a penis that you love to stick into things. Is covering it in little bits of shit sexy to you? Is putting it in a hole in that you have to be so gentle with that it can be too hard to get off, hot?... (read in full...)

He just can't let go of my past

Q.   Hello aunts, I'm having a dilemma with my current boyfriend. We have been dating for a little over a month now and we really enjoy each-other and fell in love and love spending time together when we can. We are almost one person and I've had pre...

A.   9 May 2014: Okay I somehow missed the "one month" part. Holy shit, Marie are you serious? You were basically only with this guy a couple of weeks before he got vicious? You're fucked. Honestly wait until 6 months in, I'll be very surprised if you aren't t... (read in full...)

He just can't let go of my past

Q.   Hello aunts, I'm having a dilemma with my current boyfriend. We have been dating for a little over a month now and we really enjoy each-other and fell in love and love spending time together when we can. We are almost one person and I've had pre...

A.   9 May 2014: The title of this question is all wrong. It should read: 'My boyfriend is using my past as weapon to emotionally and mentally abuse me, is it time for me to leave?' Yes it's time to walk. The guy is an abuser or as this very well put article stat... (read in full...)

Does the girl code mean I can't date my soon-to-be married best friend's ex?

Q.   Would it be wrong of me to go out with my friend's ex, even though when they went out they were 17 and my friend is now actually getting married this winter? I have known my friend for almost 5 years, and she was the first friend I made when I mo...

A.   8 May 2014: You're not being silly. Friend's exs are a very big deal and not something to be taken lightly. The biggest problem you have is that even if she says she's okay with it you just can never know what effect it will have on her emotionally to see you ... (read in full...)

If he takes you to meet his family is he serious about you?

Q.   Dear cupid,when a guy lets you meet his family is he serious about you? Is this guy serious about me or is he a player? we are both 23.When I first met him he was very sweet and said he hasn't been in a relationship since he was 17 and he has just ...

A.   7 May 2014: He sounds normal enough, OP. Where do you get the idea that he's a player from? Not having had a relationship in 6 years doesn't mean that. Partying with friends doesn't mean he's using women for sex. Having female friends he may or may not have... (read in full...)

What type of condom do you recommend for the first time?

Q.   Hi! So I am a virgin currently. My boyfriend and I are planning to have sex. I'm a virgin and he isn't. My question is: What type of condom do you recommend for my first time? He wants to use fire and ice but I'm not so sure since if it hur...

A.   7 May 2014: Just go plain, there's no need to get spicy on your first time. Fire and ice, flavoured lubes, using ice cubes or giving head while eating mints and stuff, that's all stuff to play around with later. You want to get the hang of the whole process ... (read in full...)

I have a problem with men sexually objectifying women!

Q.   I have a real problem with the fact my partner objectifies women, I know most men look at other women and because men have more to look at on a woman's body, a woman's body can be more aesthetically appealing, I get that and I get that men are men ...

A.   7 May 2014: OP you do look at other men, you're not blind are you? Just because it doesn't make you lustful or horny doesn't mean you won't see an impressively handsome man and be able to say to yourself "there's a handsome man" or "he has a charming smile". W... (read in full...)

Do women think the key to attracting men is to dress like sluts?

Q.   Hi this question is not specific to one specific relationship but more on a general level, in my effort to meet someone. I'm curious about why when going out on say a Friday or Saturday night, young (and not so young) women feel the need to dress ...

A.   2 May 2014: Well Mr. Old Fashioned, we all have our tastes and plenty of people are into women who wear that type of clothes. There are also plenty of women who don't find the idea of a guy who judges women as bimbos and sluts, solely based on how they dres... (read in full...)

I had sex with a friend in a troubled relationship. How do I tell her that it was not to take advantage of her?

Q.   I have been friends with a classmate for a long time. She is in a relationship for three years now. I tried befriending her boyfriend, but he seemed arrogant and did not respond warmly. So I chose to remain distant from him, but did not tell the ...

A.   2 May 2014: Say nothing, OP. Just see what happens. Telling her it was unintentional isn't going to make anything better, it'll just make it sound like you're covering your own arse, which is basically what you want to do. Let her be the one to make contact ... (read in full...)

I'm too afraid to ask him for help financially!

Q.   I'm 23years plus i'm dating a guy of 29years plus getting to three years now, l love him so much but despite my love for him i'm shy to ask him when i need help financially because of my two reasons my first reason is that i'm thinking its too ...

A.   2 May 2014: OP it depends how much you need and whether he can spare it. Frankly though you're with him three years which to me is plenty of time to be able to ask for help as long as you don't mind him saying no if that's his decision. What strikes me thoug... (read in full...)

Where am I going wrong?

Q.   Can someone tell me whats wrong with men today? I was dating a guy i met recently. He was a shy or quiet person anyway and when i text him i would get very dry responses and I ask him had he plans for the weekend. It seems I have offended him and...

A.   2 May 2014: Take a break, OP and focus on you for a while. Go have some fun and let the idea of getting a man go for a while so you can gain some perspective into what really matters in life, and that's to have fun with good people and enjoy your life. If da... (read in full...)

My B/f doesn't want to get married because he doesn't want to support me with medical bills and marrying me will have a bad effect on his retirement fee

Q.   My boyfriend of 4 years told me that he doesn't want to get married anymore.. And his reasons are very selfish in my opinion. He said he doesn't want to support me with medical bills, or that marrying me will have a bad effect on his retirement fee. ...

A.   2 May 2014: OP with all due respect you're both being selfish. He's not willing to take a financial hit to marry you and leave himself stuck with your medical bills and get less money for his retirement and you don't seem to care about any of that. So your ... (read in full...)

Should I break up with my depressed boyfriend?

Q.   Hello, and thank you to those to can guide me in my dilemma. My boyfriend has depression, and is suicidal. He opened up about these thoughts is January, and was hospitalized and got a psychologist, anti-depressants and the whole package. After ...

A.   1 May 2014: OP you have to treat this pretty carefully and just end it unofficially first. Say you need space for while etc. Just don't tell him yet that that space isn't going end. Look he has to take care of himself, and he has family around him too but outr... (read in full...)

Is it weird that my boyfriend of a year and a half had pictures of him and his ex girlfriends on a hard drive that he bought after we started going out?

Q.   I'm keeping my question short and sweet really. Is it weird that my boyfriend of a year and a half had pictures of him and his ex girlfriends on a hard drive that he bought after we started going out? Bearing in mind he's been broken up with o...

A.   1 May 2014: No it's not weird. A hard drive is just storage of digital content, they do have a shelf life and it's smart to have more than one copy of photos and stuff on different drives. I have copies of photo's of my exes saved onto cloud services, Face... (read in full...)

Wondering about long-term relationships and living together or not?

Q.   I know on here people often mention about relationships being a fairytale, but that isn't true, obviously. However, I found out that some couples in longterm relationships don't live together, not just for financial reasons - personal space e...

A.   29 April 2014: That's too vague a question to answer really, OP. I mean you're going to get a range of answers based on many different factors, length of time of relationship, financial situations etc. Are you just wondering about people's specific situatio... (read in full...)

His self-harming has led to him cutting me off!

Q.   Hi , would love some advice . I was dating a guy for several months and as I got into the relationship I realised the guy had some mental health issues that included self - harming . I tried to be patient and loving as he was finalisi...

A.   29 April 2014: Yes you should just accept that, and you should accept that a man that self-harms is not ever going to be relationship material and that being his saviour is not exactly a foundation for a good relationship anyway. OP, thank your lucky stars he gave... (read in full...)

How can I get my boyfriend to trust living with me again?

Q.   We've been together for almost a year and a half and lived together for 10mo. We've been having a lot of arguments and most of the time it is him misunderstanding something and having short tempers. His divorce finalized last December and he has one ...

A.   29 April 2014: All through reading your question I was wondering why the hell you want to go back into a situation where you were killing each other and bickering when things are so much calmer and better now that you don't. Then I hit your last paragraph and true... (read in full...)

I had sex with my best friend, but she is married to somebody else!

Q.   Hi everyone. Sorry, this is a bit of a long one. My best friend is female, we've been friends for about 10 years and she's married. The past couple of years, she's sank into depression. This is due in part to her husband never being there due ...

A.   29 April 2014: Unfortunately for you, OP, you can't trust her feelings for you, not even in the slightest. I won't tell you off for banging a married woman but you're a complete fool to bang one in emotional distress and this vulnerable, then let your heart hope... (read in full...)

If they say they like you, how do you know they're not already taken?

Q.   What is the "smoking gun", as it were, that suggests someone likes you and that they're not taken? I know often on here "How do you know they like you?" is a FAQ, but I've taken the question one stage further I did hear on a late-night British ...

A.   29 April 2014: That's the point Male anon, there's truly no way of knowing unless you follow her around 24/7 and do crazy crap. It's best to just ask. Most cheaters do not lie about having a partner, the lies they tell are mostly to do with the partner not maki... (read in full...)

Dating a new guy: are these red flags or not?

Q.   I am looking for a long term relationship and have a question about the early warning signs in dating. I have recently met a guy, we have had three dates and he's handsome, intelligent and sweet. The dates are great, we talk a lot and he tells me ...

A.   29 April 2014: He's not the guy for you. With all due respect, OP the fact you wonder whether him having regular contact with other women may be a warning sign to you, is actually a big red flag over your head. You're sounding a tad possessive and like you migh... (read in full...)

I haven't told my boyfriend I'm pregnant yet, and now I'm back to checking his phone for texts! I need your help!

Q.   Is it ever possible to truly move on from finding out your other half has cheated on you? The reason I ask is because for the past ten months, since getting back with my boyfriend since finding out he had cheated on with a mutual friend, I have tho...

A.   29 April 2014: It's time to tell him, OP. You need his reassurance and support. If you have no reason to doubt him now, no solid evidence then just realise you're panicking because you know having a baby with him means he's in your life forever no matter how much... (read in full...)

Since I said no living together without marriage he's backed off

Q.   Hi, I would like to ask for some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 15 months, he is 39 and I am 27. We don't live together and he stays about an hour away from me, for the last 15 months I have been going to visit him every weekend, ...

A.   29 April 2014: Just leave him, OP. The issue here isn't really about marriage at all and him even bringing up living together was stupid too. You have a whole list of things there that you really don't like about him, your weight, the fact he never leaves the flat... (read in full...)

If they say they like you, how do you know they're not already taken?

Q.   What is the "smoking gun", as it were, that suggests someone likes you and that they're not taken? I know often on here "How do you know they like you?" is a FAQ, but I've taken the question one stage further I did hear on a late-night British ...

A.   29 April 2014: There's no way of knowing. It's like anything in dating, you just hope you spot the signs of any issues sooner rather than later, but it's always a risk. They could be a serial cheater, they could be child abusers, they could hat animals, they coul... (read in full...)

Sex/Intercourse with a partner versus Head/Fellatio with a partner? Why can't I orgasm from the latter and prefer Intercourse instead?

Q.   So is something wrong with me that I can't seem to come from getting head? I've only ever gotten it from my girlfriend (she's my first) and I never come from it, I got close once but generally it doesn't feel as good as sex. Is this normal? I me...

A.   27 April 2014: Yeah it's perfectly normal. I get that sometimes when my head's not in the game, getting a blow job takes a lot of focus not to have the mind wander. Sex is different because you're part of the process and doing something. Then there's also the poin... (read in full...)

My boyfriend always wakes me up with the words 'I gotta to kick you out'!!

Q.   I have a question about how a boy friend normally wakes a girl up in the morning. This guy I have been seeing for several months now always wakes me up with the words 'I gotta to kick you out. It's not very romantic and an awful way to have to be ...

A.   27 April 2014: Maybe he's just not a morning person or maybe he only does that stuff at night to get you in the mood for sex. the key thing here is you've talked to him about it and he;s dismissive of it. It's not hard to be nice and/or affectionate to someone ... (read in full...)

Over 30 and single - what did I do wrong?

Q.   Every girl dreams of the happy family and nice man that they will one day marry. We are taught from an early age that the Princess always ends up with the Handsome Prince. The scatty girl in the Rom-Com always finds her true love. Your best friends ...

A.   27 April 2014: I'm married, OP, but I've honestly never been lonely while single. I love my own company just as much as my wife's or any partner. In fact the best thing about my wife is that we can be alone, together if you know what I mean? She's the first woman ... (read in full...)

This guy cancelled 3 hours before a date because he met someone else when he had been the one to suggest the date!

Q.   I met a guy online a month ago and we went out on a first date and had an amazing time. Since then he had been texting me and sending pictures and flirting, then he asked to set up a second date. I agreed and we set it up, 3 hours before the date he ...

A.   27 April 2014: It's how it works these days, OP. But then again it could have been an excuse. Either way don't take it personally, at least he didn't waste your time or go ahead with the sole intention of just trying to bed you before letting you go. OP there is... (read in full...)

Over 30 and single - what did I do wrong?

Q.   Every girl dreams of the happy family and nice man that they will one day marry. We are taught from an early age that the Princess always ends up with the Handsome Prince. The scatty girl in the Rom-Com always finds her true love. Your best friends ...

A.   27 April 2014: What did you do wrong? You believed all that fairytale shit and have been chasing a fantasy, striving to attain your dream man. Not every girl dreams that, most I know dreamed of a career, success and seeing the world. Only one of my three sist... (read in full...)

When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?

Q.   When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....

A.   27 April 2014: "I am still offended by the want for something different like most women are." Women do the exact same thing except it's movie stars and musicians they gush over. I know women more emotionally attached to Ryan Gosling or Drake than any man I've met ... (read in full...)

He's pressuring me to get pregnant

Q.   Hi everyone. I've been in a relationship with my bf for three years and three months. I'm 25 and he's 29. Since the beginning of our relationship, he told me that he wanted to settle down and start a family. I told him, that while I wanted to...

A.   26 April 2014: You're not being selfish, he is. OP you made yourself very clear at the start of the relationship, he's the one who lied to you saying he could accept that. What he really meant was "okay, but I'm going to make you have my kid". You know the choi... (read in full...)

Is he not interested or does he want me to take the lead?

Q.   I met a guy online and after a couple weeks of messaging each other we exchanged phone numbers. He text me that same day and has every day since. This was almost a month ago. Sometimes the texting lasts all day and other times its not as long. I saw ...

A.   26 April 2014: You know what my wife did when she wanted to meet up or go on a date? She asked me. You know what she does when she wants to know something or do something with me? She asks. You see even at 19 she kind of figured out that she could sit there and ... (read in full...)

I am not sure if its worth investing the time or not ....

Q.   Hi everyone, I ended a two year relationship within the last six months. I feel like I've finally accepted what our relationship was and why it didn't work and feel like I'm able to move on. About two months ago, I met someone and we had th...

A.   26 April 2014: Yeah, I can't do long distance either. I need that physical connection to maintain the emotional bond, not just intimacy in terms of sex but to just be with a person in person. My motivation just disappears and talking online, on the phone etc. just... (read in full...)

He says he is unhappy and doesn't want to be with me either.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and let me just say this has been the hardest relationship I have ever been in! We've had some rough patches in our relationship we both suck at relationships! There's some months when we fight non ...

A.   26 April 2014: "If your that unhappy with someone why stick around if you don't love them or want to be with them?" Why not? I mean it's not as if he's not actively looking for another woman anyway. He gets to act single while keeping all the sex and stuff. Don'... (read in full...)

The elderly lady who lives just down the street from me indulges in nasty gossip and its making me very uncomfortable

Q.   Hello. There is an elderly lady who lives just down the street from me. I walk past her house every day. She is friendly and talks to me - in fact, she talks to everyone - and I am happy to chat to her. However, she gossips about people and is often ...

A.   26 April 2014: "Oh that's interesting, listen I gotto go, late for a meeting/date/appointment/lunch/dinner/massage/dominatrix session" Stop being a wimp and blow her off. Don't say anything about it to her, OP, just lead a "busier" life. The last thing you want... (read in full...)

I'm ill and want to rest... now my girlfriend doesn't think I want to see her! Was it something I said?

Q.   This feels like such a stupid question to have to ask, in the circumstances especially, but I wondered if someone could help. I last saw my girlfriend on Thursday morning. Through the day I started to come down with cold-like symptoms. On Fri...

A.   26 April 2014: I think you're the one overreacting, she's probably just disappointed that she can't see you and now you're going nuts thinking everything is going wrong or something? OP it's not unusual for people to act cold or distant when they're pissed off ... (read in full...)

Why would his comment about weight bother me?

Q.   I've been getting closer to a man online for several months and we are about to meet in person . He knows I am overweight and somewhat worried about him being attracted to me but he had assured me that he feel attracted to me and he too struggles ...

A.   24 April 2014: Because it means he's a bit of an idiot. Weight and age: the two things a man should never bring up, ever. He didn't say anything bad at all, but he just doesn't seem to know women if he doesn't know that you never talk about those things with... (read in full...)

My life is a mess! How do I tell my parents that I've failed my degree and won't be graduating after all?

Q.   Hi Everyone, I've been following this website for a few years and always been impressed by the advice given so thought I would give it a go. Please don't judge me in my problems, I need help. So nearly 4 years ago, I was in a relationship, my...

A.   24 April 2014: OP they won't give a shit about your degree in the way you think. All they care about is you being happy and healthy. They'll be disappointed of course, but only for you and what it means to your life and they'll be very worried about what that migh... (read in full...)

Does my colleague have bad intentions? He's definitely a bad boy and my engagement nearly ended because of him!

Q.   I'm engaged. I became friends with a fellow colleague. He's definitely a bad boy and I've been trying my hardest to stop all connection with him. At first it was harmless I thought and we would just spend short breaks together because we have a lot ...

A.   24 April 2014: I didn't call you a slut, I said what you've written makes you sound like a gushing school girl. Nice attempt at a deflection though, OP. I mean if I was so wrong then why the fury and leaping to conclusions? You really are very heavily emotiona... (read in full...)

No clear discussion of commitment, so is it OK to talk to others?

Q.   So I recently met a guy from out of state, and it has been going well but we have only seen each other a few times. The first time we met, we had dinner and a great time, just cuddled and no sex. A month later we meet again and spend a few days ...

A.   24 April 2014: OP while it's technically fine to test drive more than one car these days it really all depends on what you want. I mean if you're just dating casually for the hell of it then do what you like. Personally I'm the kind of person who only dates on... (read in full...)

Does my colleague have bad intentions? He's definitely a bad boy and my engagement nearly ended because of him!

Q.   I'm engaged. I became friends with a fellow colleague. He's definitely a bad boy and I've been trying my hardest to stop all connection with him. At first it was harmless I thought and we would just spend short breaks together because we have a lot ...

A.   24 April 2014: I don't see what his intentions have to do with anything unless you want to know because the idea excites you a little. I mean you're supposedly "trying your hardest" to break contact and yet here you are gushing like a school girl asking whet... (read in full...)

When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?

Q.   When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....

A.   16 April 2014: When I'm single and haven't sex in a while then yes I do. But when I'm in a relationship not at all. I don't need to pretend I'm having sex when I can just go to my wife and have real sex. Porn is just a visual masturbation aid. A penis in a vagina ... (read in full...)

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