| Latest articles: Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.
This question has 44 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...
Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...
Crushes on teachers
This question has 42 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...
Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...
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If you found out your spouse cheated on you would you ask for a divorce or try to work it out?
Q. Hi Everyone. I have a question. If your spouse cheated on you do you think you will immediately ask for a divorce? My husband ask why would I feel so strongly about leaving instead of working it out. I think for me it's that the trust would not be ...
A. 17 April 2013: Oh so even more lies now too.
Why are you even entertaining his bullshit OP? Why are you even discussing this with him anymore? You know his feelings, you know he doesn't value you and you know he's an ashamed cheat and a liar. What else is there... (read in full...)
Porn is just images of women on a screen. The men will never meet those porn stars. So why is watching porn such an issue for women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. T hey are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 17 April 2013: You know there's one part of the porn argument I'll never get and that's how mothers allow their sons to grow up with such a skewed version of sexuality.
I mean I see that all the time from right wing feminist sources that porn ruins men's expe... (read in full...)
How many more years am I suppose to invest in this relationship when I am already tired and over him?
Q. My head tells me to leave him but my heart tells me to keep on fighting for his love. He is so indifferent towards me he no longer comes to have lunch with me and he is gone all day. He says his works keeps him busy but what about me what about hi...
A. 17 April 2013: I love Sageoldguy1465's response, that is exactly it.
OP where you ladies get this idea that emotions are like a barter deal is beyond me. Like you keep score of all the things you do, how much you're putting in and that you'll magically get the ... (read in full...)
He is not the "one". So how can I break up with him? He gets so upset when I mention breaking up.
Q. Hi thanks for reading, I'm looking for advice on how to end my relationship without hurting my boyfriend. We have been together for around 18 months, and he is the sweetest boyfriend I could have imagined... But he is not 'the one'. To be h...
A. 17 April 2013: "Threatens to hurt himself" Oh boo-fucking-hoo, what a weak-ass little emotionally blackmailing bitch he is.
That's the kind of shit "the sweetest guy ever" pulls is it? No, that's not sweet that's just mental abuse.
Dump him and get on with ... (read in full...)
Should I join him? I'm not handling a LDR very well. If I do should I live with him or near him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and most of the year we're in a long distance relationship because we go to different universities. I finish my degree at the end of this year and I want to do a teaching qualification next yea...
A. 17 April 2013: Is his city the best place to do your teaching qualification?
Frankly OP that's the only question I'd need answering to be honest. If it's not and you're planning to put your life on hold just to move near him then that's not the best idea in ... (read in full...)
Porn is just images of women on a screen. The men will never meet those porn stars. So why is watching porn such an issue for women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. T hey are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 17 April 2013: Oh and I forgot to mention OP.
Women cannot for the life of them understand the difference between sex and masturbation for us guys and they never will. Just like we'll never understand the menstrual cycle as anything other than a bloody mess and ... (read in full...)
Porn is just images of women on a screen. The men will never meet those porn stars. So why is watching porn such an issue for women?
Q. I am curious about this. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. T hey are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of him a...
A. 17 April 2013: Women are very insecure, competitive and want to control the sexuality of their boyfriends in the hope that she'll be the only woman he every finds sexually attractive ever again.
Well that's the anti-porn crowd anyway. All the women I've dated ei... (read in full...)
I love him so should I break up with him or consider an open relationship?
Q. I've posted on here before and found the answers to be helpful, so I'm back. My boyfriend of about seven months and I are in love with each other despite our differences, which I don't mind since I actually like him as a person. He doesn't believe ...
A. 17 April 2013: "He says breaks can make relationships stronger because if someone doesn't make you feel the way he feels the way he does about me, then it's proof that we're in a good place in the relationship."
He's full of shit OP, how is taking a break so he c... (read in full...)
I don't want to raise another child alone. I don't think this relationship will last. Should I have an abortion?
Q. Hello all, I need some major advice. I am 29 and a decent paying job. I have a 12 year old that I have raised by myself. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and fully comitted for about 3 years. This would be his first child. His job is not that gre...
A. 17 April 2013: OP your decision is not being made with full facts in mind. First off you won't be raising this child alone as they have a 12 year old older sibling who will do a hell of a lot of the work. Trust me OP, I was that 12 year old older sibling and I was ... (read in full...)
Will my husband eventually resent me if he moves back to a small town rather than living abroad?
Q. Dear Cupid, I got married a few months ago and I'm now in a long distance marriage with husband working and living abroad. Since I work the weekend, it's pretty hard for us to meet and lately we've only managed to meet for a week a month- which is...
A. 17 April 2013: "Do you think he's being honest?"
Yes, completely. He has zero reason to lie and frankly OP he married you knowing this would eventually be the case didn't he? He's not an idiot is he OP? Marriage is about settling down with the person you love... (read in full...)
Could anyone help? I'd like to hold a conference for anti bullying!
Q. I want to hold an antibulling conference but don't know where to have it or when!!! I need help with getting every thing set up. So if anyone has a suggestion please tell me....
A. 16 April 2013: Go speak to your school counsellor OP. This is their area of expertise and they'll be able to give you all the tools necessary to set this up. if your school doesn't have one of those then speak to the deputy principle or even one of your more ... (read in full...)
BF wants me to improve on my appearance, I feel hurt!
Q. I have a very good looking boyfriend . . . He loves me a lot . . . But he constantly asks me to change my hair style , to use cosmetics . . . But i like to be simple . . . He also gives examples of the girls who look beautiful . . . . This hurts me ...
A. 16 April 2013: You can say that to him. It's very possible he thinks he's being nice and will stop once he realizes you don't talk to women that way.
If he's as young as you then you need to teach him that he's not allowed to criticize your appearance, that it h... (read in full...)
Girls: Do you say no sex to your boyfriend often?
Q. Hi Just like to know if this is normal behaviour for men or in relationships. Last night in bed with my boyfriend I wasn't feeling too well (have a bad headcold) and told him I didn't want to have sex with him, to just cuddle and sleep. He kep...
A. 16 April 2013: Get the fuck as far away from that asshole as possible. Not only should he have been apologizing profusely for his behaviour but no man nor woman ever gets to treat their partner with as much contempt as he treated you afterwards.
This is a case o... (read in full...)
I like a girl who seems more affluent than me?
Q. There's a girl I really like. I met her working with her last summer at a summer job. She seems pretty nice and sweet and thinks I'm every bit as such and we chat on Facebook every once in a while (not frequently), we get along fine and she's ...
A. 15 April 2013: The big question here OP is can you handle it? Can you handle that she may well be earning more money than you if things got serious? A lot of guys really can't. Can you handle that she comes from a privileged background and will have been handed a ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my best friend but now that we've had sex she has backed off. I don't know where I stand, its driving me crazy!
Q. Hi guys, I'm looking for some advice with love! I'm 25 and have had 3 serious relationships in my life, the longest being 4years the other 2 being just short of a year each. The latest girl I was with took me for a ride, she would abuse my good ...
A. 15 April 2013: "Is it not possible to build love from a freindship?"
Yeah, the best relationships I've had did, including with my fiancée. But I was single 2 years and she'd never had a serious relationship and her last ex was about a year before we got toge... (read in full...)
If you found out your spouse cheated on you would you ask for a divorce or try to work it out?
Q. Hi Everyone. I have a question. If your spouse cheated on you do you think you will immediately ask for a divorce? My husband ask why would I feel so strongly about leaving instead of working it out. I think for me it's that the trust would not be ...
A. 15 April 2013: OP time to start wearing condoms when you sleep with him too if you are still sexually active. The last thing you want is a nasty gift from one of his "stupid" women. I wouldn't take his word that he uses protection with them either.... (read in full...)
Pregnant and need to get married quickly! How can I tell my Muslim family?
Q. Hi everyone, I have been with my bf for 4 years and now and I'm pregnant and we are planning to get married asap but my family don't know abut my pregnancy and they keep on delaying everything. I come from a muslim background and my bf has conver...
A. 15 April 2013: It doesn't matter how you tell them OP just as long as you do it as soon as possible so they can get the marriage done quickly.
Look, you know who you can and can't trust in your family. You know their reaction to this is going to be severe, ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get this guy to like me?
Q. So I'm 15 and there's this guy I really like and we text quite a bit and we were playing the question game and he said I was cute but he also said he likes someone else. Us there any way to get him to like me because I really want to go out with ...
A. 15 April 2013: You can't make someone like you. But you can show more of an obvious interest and open the door for someone who does like you to make a move. Maybe it's time you started showing him you're interested in him with a bit of flirting. Start showing him ... (read in full...)
We're great together but I'm frustrated by his lack of maturity
Q. Hey guys! So me and my bf has been together for almost 2 years now and we have an amazing relationship. Hes only a year younger than me but i feel like he has so much growing up to do and it literally drives me crazy! My biggest mistake was taking ...
A. 15 April 2013: What makes you think he has to "grow up" OP. You think because he doesn't think of things that he really doesn't have to because you will, that he's somehow immature?
I'm in my mid-30's and my fiancée is the organized one. She likes being orga... (read in full...)
A good friend confessed that he likes me and I'm uncertain of what to do. He's not my type!
Q. I was online on FB last night and a good friend of mine wrote to me and said: .. bare in mind he is a good friend of mine and is completely not my type. I don't know what to do? Will I regret not taking this chance? Is he even asking for a chance or ...
A. 15 April 2013: Haha lousy on you. I know you didn't mean to OP but you completely led him on.
I mean it's fine to take as a compliment but you were seriously gushing all over him. "Oh my god thank you so much, soooo sweet, oh wow, oh, that's so amazing!" etc.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my partner's manipulative ex?
Q. Hope you can offer important advice please. Myself and my partner have been together 2 years, he has 2 wonderful children who I love to bits. He has been broken up from his ex 4 years so we met a long time after they broke up. We have recentl...
A. 15 April 2013: There's nothing you can do, except you have to change your attitude slightly. She hasn't "won", her son has "lost". She doesn't realize it yet OP but in the long run she's lost too.
Patience, that's all you have to work with here. You have zer... (read in full...)
How important is it to date your type (physical preference)?
Q. How important is it to date someone your type? I've always liked guys with softer features and slender eyes, seemingly shy but with a bright smile. My first ex was exactly that and I've never been more attracted to anyone else. He was cute more...
A. 15 April 2013: To me it's not important. As long as they're not an anorexic thinspo freak or morbidly obese then I can find them sexy.
I've dated all shapes and sizes, and yeah even an ultra skinny woman until I realized they're too obsessed with them... (read in full...)
If you found out your spouse cheated on you would you ask for a divorce or try to work it out?
Q. Hi Everyone. I have a question. If your spouse cheated on you do you think you will immediately ask for a divorce? My husband ask why would I feel so strongly about leaving instead of working it out. I think for me it's that the trust would not be ...
A. 15 April 2013: "He says it's in men's blood to cheat so a man should be forgiven."
What a pathetic piece of shit your soon to be ex-husband is. It's not in my blood. It's not in the blood of my friends, although there are a couple who are cheaters. Plus OP if it's... (read in full...)
If you found out your spouse cheated on you would you ask for a divorce or try to work it out?
Q. Hi Everyone. I have a question. If your spouse cheated on you do you think you will immediately ask for a divorce? My husband ask why would I feel so strongly about leaving instead of working it out. I think for me it's that the trust would not be ...
A. 15 April 2013: "Is it unreasonable to leave your spouse after the first discovery of an affair?"
Perfectly reasonable. I'm the exact same as you OP, and in my 20 years of dating and relationships I've never been cheated on because I make it very clear at the star... (read in full...)
Why would he tell others about his girlfriend, but not me?
Q. I like this guy and I recently found out that his girlfriend is moving in with him. He talks about her to everyone else...except me. I asked him what did he do over his vacation and he told me he did "absolutely nothing". Someone else asked him that ...
A. 15 April 2013: Simple because he knows you have feelings for him and he doesn't want to shove his relationship in your face and make you feel bad/jealous etc.
That's all really, not nice to see a persons face and mood change when you start talking about your girl... (read in full...)
Was it wrong for this person to slip their friend a sleeping pill, passing it off as herbal medication?
Q. Hi Everyone, I was recently hanging out with an old acquaintance and we were chatting about dates we'd had with other people. This guy then proceeds to tell me that he and a friend were hanging out at his house and he wanted to go to sleep and hav...
A. 15 April 2013: It depends on how the "victim" took it. OP you don't specify the gender of the person he dosed. If it's a woman as I'm assuming because you were talking about dating then that's a very fucked up thing to do, for reasons I really don't need to go ... (read in full...)
My Crush always has a hard on around me and does nothing to hide it.
Q. I've noticed that my crush tends to have a hard on when we hang out and he stands in my face and it becomes very obvious to me that he has a hard on. I don't look at it cause I know is there. Is almost as if he wants me to know he has an erection. ...
A. 15 April 2013: OP I have certain pairs of pants that look like I have a tent pole in my crotch area. If he really does have a hard on and he really is sticking it in your face then that's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard. Is he some kind of gangsta wannabe ... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my best friend but now that we've had sex she has backed off. I don't know where I stand, its driving me crazy!
Q. Hi guys, I'm looking for some advice with love! I'm 25 and have had 3 serious relationships in my life, the longest being 4years the other 2 being just short of a year each. The latest girl I was with took me for a ride, she would abuse my good ...
A. 15 April 2013: Sorry OP but you're right to feel stupid. You have been a complete idiot and this is another case of when you look from the outside you'll see this whole situation is very obvious.
I knew what was happening after your third paragraph, I mean I k... (read in full...)
I can't last long during sex, I feel weak and breathless!
Q. Dear cupids, My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years! We started having sex after a year in a half being together. The problem is I cant last very long during intercourse. Its always been a problem for me but not for my boyfriend. Foreplay...
A. 15 April 2013: This is rather simple actually OP, I've seen a few women with the same problem, it's all to do with breathing. You need to start learning to control it during sex as you're hyperventilating or Hypoventilating. I've had a few exs who had issues with ... (read in full...)
Inviting him over - would it send the wrong message?
Q. I have been working 2 years now in my current workplace. Ever since, I have liked very much an older male colleague. Despite other men that have passed through my life, he was constantly on my mind. We don't work together every day but there were ...
A. 15 April 2013: For sex OP. Why else would a woman invite you back to her private space? To talk about Buddhism, economics, the history of dolphins? No, for sex. It's like that phrase "do you want to come in for a coffee?" You're not inviting us in for coffee, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to take a picture of my butt to show his friends I'm cool!
Q. My boyfriends friends have this group where they take picture of girls butts with a sticker on it that has the logo of their group. And my boyfriend wants to take a pic of my butt with underwear on of course, so that he can brag to his friends of ...
A. 15 April 2013: You're not comfortable with it so you don't do it. If he hasn't convinced his friends you're already cool then he's not being a good boyfriend.
Tell you what OP, make a deal with him. If he can get his mom to take a picture of her butt with the stic... (read in full...)
Girls: Do you say no sex to your boyfriend often?
Q. Hi Just like to know if this is normal behaviour for men or in relationships. Last night in bed with my boyfriend I wasn't feeling too well (have a bad headcold) and told him I didn't want to have sex with him, to just cuddle and sleep. He kep...
A. 15 April 2013: Oh and OP, if you don't want him doing that, don't want it escalating to some time he just pins you down and goes to work on you. The next time he does, scream at him to get the fuck out of your bed and he'll remember that.
OP this is your firs... (read in full...)
Girls: Do you say no sex to your boyfriend often?
Q. Hi Just like to know if this is normal behaviour for men or in relationships. Last night in bed with my boyfriend I wasn't feeling too well (have a bad headcold) and told him I didn't want to have sex with him, to just cuddle and sleep. He kep...
A. 15 April 2013: Yeah apparently that's normal OP, you tolerate it and most women I know tolerate it too.
Personally I'd be very pissed off if I was a woman and a guy did that to me, in fact that guy would have hell to pay. But you ladies see it as fine, which is f... (read in full...)
I followed my girlfriend and found out she was visiting her ex in prison. She was very upset that I followed her and found out. Now what?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for over seven months now. We met over a dating site, but an amusing turn found that we shared a large group of mutual friends that lived near each of us. Everything had been going smoothly until sometime in the middle ...
A. 13 April 2013: "I still can't choose to abandon her when I know she needs the positive reinforcement."
Oh I see, so you're basically just a bit codependent then OP.
You'd rather be a counsellor than a partner to her basically. In other words she gets a pass on ... (read in full...)
Every time we have an argument its always my fault according to him!
Q. My partner and I are having a rough patch, "Bob" says it'd because I am needy and I always want more than he can give. He's 28, I'm 22. I have two children, not his, but he loves them like his own. He says I need to have no expectations of him and ...
A. 13 April 2013: Just to calrify OP, it doesn't matter if he calls you girlfriend or partner, he treats you like a fuck buddy so that's what this is.
Are you being needy? No you're misreading what this is.
As a fuck buddy, I would consider what you expect as needy... (read in full...)
Every time we have an argument its always my fault according to him!
Q. My partner and I are having a rough patch, "Bob" says it'd because I am needy and I always want more than he can give. He's 28, I'm 22. I have two children, not his, but he loves them like his own. He says I need to have no expectations of him and ...
A. 13 April 2013: "He says I need to have no expectations of him and when he does something good it'll be a bonus."
Yeah sorry OP, but you live in a fantasy world of fairies and pixie dust.
OP he has many duties to you in a relationship, he has many expectat... (read in full...)
He has been texting my ex pretending to be me
Q. A year into our relationship, My boyfriend found out I was seeing someone when we first started dating. I had been seeing this other person for a year and although I liked him he didnt want a relationship. we were more like FWB , i stopped seeing ...
A. 13 April 2013: Go to couples counselling OP.
I can see it from both sides. I would have dumped you for the lies and frankly I think that may have been his best option as it looks very unlikely he's going to get over this.
But in that sense OP if I were in your ... (read in full...)
We can never see each other because my boyfriend is always in trouble!
Q. I just wanna know what's the point of being in a relationship if we can't see each other. Me and my boyfriend been going out for 9 months and he's 16 and I'm 17. He's always on punishment and getting his phone taken, he lives with his dad and he's ...
A. 13 April 2013: "my boyfriend gets his phone taken for the dumbest things like waking up late for school and not taking the dog out for a walk."
Yeah dumb on the part of your boyfriend OP, your boyfriend is an idiot. How hard is it to walk the dog? How hard is it t... (read in full...)
I followed my girlfriend and found out she was visiting her ex in prison. She was very upset that I followed her and found out. Now what?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for over seven months now. We met over a dating site, but an amusing turn found that we shared a large group of mutual friends that lived near each of us. Everything had been going smoothly until sometime in the middle ...
A. 13 April 2013: You can't trust her OP because she can't trust herself to do what's right for herself, her parents or you. You cannot have a good healthy relationship with a woman like that.
I mean if her parents are going to be like that about it, then why woul... (read in full...)
Is sex really ruined when a man has to pull out?
Q. Because of a medical condition, I do not use contraception such as the pill or injection etc. My doctor many years ago taught me how to calculate my fertile days etc which has worked perfectly for many years. My ex and I used this method fine for ...
A. 12 April 2013: I didn't call you a whore OP, I said you're being treated like one when it comes to sex.
Yeah disgraceful is not a word I should have used and I apologise for that. I shouldn't have quoted her directly it was just how she talks.
OP I can be n... (read in full...)
How to win a girl to be yours forever
Q. Im a boy aged 19.the three past years.i fall in deep love with a certain beatifull girl.we have been together and still loving each until today.the way i love this girl is incotrolable because i have passed a lot of problems which might end up our ...
A. 12 April 2013: No don't impregnate her OP, it doesn't feel right to you because you know it's not fair.
A far better way is to have a good job, after a good education and a nice home in which you can raise a family.
If you at least work towards those things t... (read in full...)
"To go or not to go" that is my question?
Q. I've always gotten solid reliable from you guys, I expect nothing less. I work in a very small office..38-43 folks. I'm mid 50s, blessed with good genes, high metabolism, very active, bikes to work everyday rain, shine, snow, etc., you get the pict...
A. 12 April 2013: The question is why would you not go? I mean if you're worried about awkwardness then screw that OP, you're no teenager, you can handle that kind of stuff. I mean if she's the only reason you want to go and she's not going to talk to you then maybe ... (read in full...)
Is this a relaxed body language or a sign that they like your body language
Q. I am in my 40's and sat next to a man in a pub and the guy is sitting normally at a table with a group of you all about the same age. After a while he turns his body to face slightly towards you to spread out leaning his back to the side wall of ...
A. 12 April 2013: Not really, comfort does not denote interest OP. In fact many times comfort shows disinterest as they don't feel the need to impress.
OP I've read many articles and stuff about body language showing interest and found most to be supposition. Mirr... (read in full...)
Is sex really ruined when a man has to pull out?
Q. Because of a medical condition, I do not use contraception such as the pill or injection etc. My doctor many years ago taught me how to calculate my fertile days etc which has worked perfectly for many years. My ex and I used this method fine for ...
A. 12 April 2013: No, not in the way he makes it sound. My fiancée says "tits or belly" when she wants me to pull out. She doesn't always want to have take her time cleaning up spunk that is slowly oozing out of her vagina, and it's easier to just clean her tits. I'd ... (read in full...)
| *erberus's friends
These are mutual friends, so *erberus has
added them and they have added *erberus!
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![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/dfc99dba-92ee-4179-a8d2-0cf3b463707a.png){kind=small}
