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Latest articles:

Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 19 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [171 pages, 6811 answers]

When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?

Q.   When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....

A.   27 April 2014: "I am still offended by the want for something different like most women are." Women do the exact same thing except it's movie stars and musicians they gush over. I know women more emotionally attached to Ryan Gosling or Drake than any man I've met ... (read in full...)

Does my colleague have bad intentions? He's definitely a bad boy and my engagement nearly ended because of him!

Q.   I'm engaged. I became friends with a fellow colleague. He's definitely a bad boy and I've been trying my hardest to stop all connection with him. At first it was harmless I thought and we would just spend short breaks together because we have a lot ...

A.   24 April 2014: I didn't call you a slut, I said what you've written makes you sound like a gushing school girl. Nice attempt at a deflection though, OP. I mean if I was so wrong then why the fury and leaping to conclusions? You really are very heavily emotiona... (read in full...)

My daughter's boyfriend has turned her against her family!

Q.   For the past nearly 2 years our family has been doing battle with a highly-intelligent, scheming and sneaky cock roach named Adam. My daughter met him 7 years ago, and they had only dated 2 months when we began to see a huge change in her. They ...

A.   24 April 2014: OP none of this says anything about you as a mother at all. Don't let doubt like that creep in, that's exactly the kind of mindset she wants you in to keep you desperate and malleable. For 7 years she's been laying the "bad parent" routine on you,... (read in full...)

Does my colleague have bad intentions? He's definitely a bad boy and my engagement nearly ended because of him!

Q.   I'm engaged. I became friends with a fellow colleague. He's definitely a bad boy and I've been trying my hardest to stop all connection with him. At first it was harmless I thought and we would just spend short breaks together because we have a lot ...

A.   24 April 2014: I don't see what his intentions have to do with anything unless you want to know because the idea excites you a little. I mean you're supposedly "trying your hardest" to break contact and yet here you are gushing like a school girl asking whet... (read in full...)

My daughter's boyfriend has turned her against her family!

Q.   For the past nearly 2 years our family has been doing battle with a highly-intelligent, scheming and sneaky cock roach named Adam. My daughter met him 7 years ago, and they had only dated 2 months when we began to see a huge change in her. They ...

A.   24 April 2014: OP want another way of looking at this? She's flown the nest and you need to get used to the idea that she's an adult now off living her own life, just in a rather more distressing way than you imagined it would be. OP I'm going to be tough on you ... (read in full...)

We began to get close in our 2 month FWB, now he's completely avoiding me. Is this because he has feelings for me?

Q.   So I was in a fwb relationship recently for about two months. We began to become very close. We both ended it mutually last week and agreed to be friends still. We work together so it's very hard to deal with. He's completely avoiding me now. Is it ...

A.   24 April 2014: OP you decided to end the "closeness" in terms of sexually and emotionally. The two are very much linked. It's possible he had feelings, it's also possible he thinks you have or he's pissed he's lost the sex on tap. OP just because you both agre... (read in full...)

Thought I had a chance with my crush when his relationship failed, but now they're back together. Should I move on?

Q.   Hi all, I need some advice. I've had this massive crush on a guy for the last 5 years. He's a year older than me and I met him in school. He's an amazing guy, extremely good looking, gentleman personality and has a great career ahead of him. I ...

A.   23 April 2014: "Basically do you guys think I should just try and move on?" Yes but don't try, just actually move on. "Do you think that there relationship can work?" Yes, I do, I think it'll be one that'll last the distance. "They were together for a l... (read in full...)

Is his ego bruised? How do I make him feel better?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles ,i have been dating a wonderful man for 18months and everything seems to be going well .but he recently lost his job and although i have offered to support us until he finds a new job ,he seems to have become distant and ...

A.   23 April 2014: You can't. OP just let him have his sulk without interference. He's a grown man, if he's this prideful then he'll want to deal with this himself. Just let go of the idea that you have do something other than being understanding and giving him a li... (read in full...)

I'm not truly happy, should I break up with him and wait for someone I know I will truly be happy with?

Q.   ive been with my bf for almost 4 years and things are ok...we argue from time to time but nothing major. i cant say im happy, more like content. hes a nice guy but i cant help feeling like im missing out on something. we dont really have a lo...

A.   23 April 2014: Sounds like it might be time to move on, OP. You're not as content as you think you are if you're fantasising about other men and don't want a sexual relationship with him. I think you're mistaking comfort for contentment. I'm content, I'm neit... (read in full...)

Should I be worried that my friend dates underage girls?

Q.   Hi. I am a 31 year old male. I have a friend who is 23 who dates a lot of underage girls who are maybe 16-17 years old. In fact, it has become a running joke in our circle of friends that his girlfriends are teenagers. However, in the time I have k...

A.   23 April 2014: That's the thing though Cindycares, I work with people that age, they're not kids. They're fucking and sucking all around them, getting pregnant, getting drunk, sending naked pictures, having their heart broken and living like adults but without the ... (read in full...)

Are women too independent for men these days or have they been so mucked around by men that they have lost interest?

Q.   I was in a relationship for 20 years, it ended nearly 2 years ago. It seems woman these days are less wanting of a man in there lives, is this right or are my values a little dated. I like to spend time together watching movies and going out to all...

A.   23 April 2014: OP I think it's a simple case of you being too picky and having too specific an idea of the woman you want and what you want from them. I mean your age group only spans ten years and you gravitate more towards older women too. I'd go down to 30 if... (read in full...)

Should I be worried that my friend dates underage girls?

Q.   Hi. I am a 31 year old male. I have a friend who is 23 who dates a lot of underage girls who are maybe 16-17 years old. In fact, it has become a running joke in our circle of friends that his girlfriends are teenagers. However, in the time I have k...

A.   23 April 2014: No, it's fine, OP. You say he's a very nice guy, very sensitive and sweet, so do you honestly think he's some kind of bastard to these girls and using them? Does he play them, use them, abuse them? It doesn't sound to me like he is. The only thi... (read in full...)

I found out my married lover is not planning on getting divorced after all! Who should I confront, him or his wife?

Q.   I fell for my coworker who told me that his wife had left him, only to find out from another colleague that they are actually planning buying a new house together! I feel so stupid and sick to the stomach, but I can't bring myself to say anything...

A.   23 April 2014: OP with all due respect the only person you should feel let down by is yourself. You knowingly got with a married man I don't know what you expected. I mean if I told you I had a girlfriend but I'm planning on leaving her would you be stupid e... (read in full...)

He knows I have a terrible relationship with my husband so why has he suddenly gone cold on me?

Q.   I've been in a horrible relationship for too long but don't want to leave because of my son. When he had finished his gcses in July then I WILL be leaving. My boyfriend is controlling, abusive and has mistreated me for many years. 6 months ago I...

A.   23 April 2014: Think about it, OP. He's covering for you, doing you a favour and he asks you how you are getting on and you basically responded "who are you?" Well done for making the choice to leave by the way, it's not easy. Just make sure you follow thro... (read in full...)

He knows I have a terrible relationship with my husband so why has he suddenly gone cold on me?

Q.   I've been in a horrible relationship for too long but don't want to leave because of my son. When he had finished his gcses in July then I WILL be leaving. My boyfriend is controlling, abusive and has mistreated me for many years. 6 months ago I...

A.   23 April 2014: Probably because he didn't "cotton on" and is actually really pissed off with such a rude reply. Or maybe it was actually a wrong number because you don't have it saved. Or he's getting sick of playing these games with a woman who moans about her ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him or wait?

Q.   Hello, My boyfriend and I have know each other for two months now and have been together for one. We are perfect together. I know his the one. I wanted to tell him that I love him. I'm a little scared not because he doesn't feel that same I ...

A.   23 April 2014: Seeing as you're a woman and women only say "I love you" so we'll say it back I say no, wait a little while. He may not be ready to say it yet. OP smart guys our age know the "I love you" trap. Women don't say that so we can know how they feel... (read in full...)

What do his signals mean?

Q.   Hey everyone! Im really confused with the signals this guy has been giving me and I was just wondering if you could give me some advice on the subject. So last September I started college,and met a guy lets just call him X.X and I started to hang ...

A.   22 April 2014: It means nothing. Honestly, OP, it's not worth reading into anything a guy who acts like that does. You know that Katy Perry song Hot n' Cold? That's him. OP when a person blows hot and cold like that, it's best ignored because worst case scenario... (read in full...)

A few guys on dating site have been insulting to me.

Q.   I am currently on a dating site and I have talked to some of the guys on there and they are very nice and respectful. I like the compliments I get on my looks they tell me I am beautiful. I try to be honest about what I am looking for and they ...

A.   22 April 2014: No you're not right to hate them, that's wasted emotion and completely pointless. It only does you harm, so what's the point? OP you're talking about the Internet. A misogynistic, racist, intolerant wild west with a few decent people in betw... (read in full...)

Does "friend's with benefits" want more from me or am I fooling myself?

Q.   Some background: I have been seeing a 39 year old man for over a year, we both come from very different social backgrounds, he has never lived overseas. I come from Sweden originally, have lived in various countries and am still dealing with culture ...

A.   22 April 2014: just to add: It's been a year, that's a hell of a long time for a casual thing. If he had any feelings for you whatsoever he would have made it official a long time ago but he can't and he won't. Seriously, Ingrid, a year. He's just not in love with... (read in full...)

Does "friend's with benefits" want more from me or am I fooling myself?

Q.   Some background: I have been seeing a 39 year old man for over a year, we both come from very different social backgrounds, he has never lived overseas. I come from Sweden originally, have lived in various countries and am still dealing with culture ...

A.   22 April 2014: You know exactly what he expects from you, Ingrid, some sex and good times with no commitment. What you really mean when you say you don't know what he expects is that you want him to say he wants more but he never will. He also won't answer the ... (read in full...)

My life has been shattered. Where do I go from here?

Q.   Where I begin I have no idea? Some of you my find this unbelievable, but I assure you what I am about to tell you is true. Before 2008 my life was really good. I had a great job. Had at the time what I thought was an amazing woman. I had just...

A.   22 April 2014: Counselling is about efficiency not weakness. Your car has broken down and you can spend months learning how to fix it yourself from scratch or you can pay someone else to do it in a couple of days. 6 years is long enough, there's no reason to let ... (read in full...)

I've been seeing him for 2 weeks, what are his intentions?

Q.   I've been seeing a guy for only 2 weeks and I'm unsure as to what his intentions are. Basically ever since the very 1st day he has bee super into me, always texting, always ringing, multiple times a day, and always 1st thing in the morning and last ...

A.   22 April 2014: You're right to be cautious, it's only been two weeks. Now I know most of the aunts will probably crucify him for not having the money to pay for you as is traditional, not being a bread winner type of traditional man with his own means etc. and ... (read in full...)

Is what I'm doing such a bad thing?

Q.   I am in a long term relationship but I still speak to an ex without my partners knowledge. Is this really that wrong? I know having my cake and eating it will probably spring to mind but it's really not like that. My boyfriend is a great guy an...

A.   22 April 2014: "but it's really not like that" of course not, you're only sneaking behind your boyfriend's back to be in contact with a person you used to bone, it's perfectly innocent and that's why you haven't told him. I mean if I was your boyfriend I'd be perf... (read in full...)

Sex isn't what I thought it would be!

Q.   So I've recently lost my virginity to my lovely boyfriend, and we have sex when we can but we both have house mates which makes the situation slightly awkward! He made my first time great, and although it was still uncomfortable, he was very swe...

A.   22 April 2014: You're probably just a clit stim girl like most women or it's only been 4 times and you have no idea what you're doing yet. Most women don't orgasm from penetration, OP. They need clitoral stimulation too, so just use your fingers while he's inside ... (read in full...)

My life has been shattered. Where do I go from here?

Q.   Where I begin I have no idea? Some of you my find this unbelievable, but I assure you what I am about to tell you is true. Before 2008 my life was really good. I had a great job. Had at the time what I thought was an amazing woman. I had just...

A.   22 April 2014: Counselling will do you wonders, OP. With all due respect the "only" thing you've lost is your dad, you never had an amazing woman in that woman, you had a lucky escape and a chance to start afresh. You did what was right by your father, you put him ... (read in full...)

What sexuality am I?

Q.   Okay this isn't a major problem but I just wondered. I have always wondered about my sexuality, and when I was 15 I was pretty sure I was bisexual, but since then its kinda changed as I presumed that was just...

A.   22 April 2014: OP all women are a bit bisexual/curious and not that's not just a stereotype. There have been plenty of studies that show that pretty much all women can find other women sexually appealing to some degree. There was one such study I read that use... (read in full...)

What next? I don't want her to lose interest!

Q.   So I signed up for eHarmony recently. It's been a long time since I've really dated anyone, and I've had absolutely zero luck finding anyone in the real world. Most of my "matches" are either girls way too far away or a bit too old for me (into...

A.   21 April 2014: The others are right you just ask just remember it's not the end of the world if she refuses and it's certainly not the end of you getting to know her either. Seeing as it's the internet, I'd make it a day time coffee somewhere public so she'd feel... (read in full...)

I am barely treading water in this relationship, holding on by a thread!

Q.   I just found out the other day that my girlfriend of over a year and a half has lost all her passion for the relationship and has been miserable lately and doesn't know how or if we can fix it. My constant worrying of where she's at or what she's ...

A.   21 April 2014: "I just don't know why she would stick around and make things awkward when I feel like time and space apart is what we need" Because that's what you feel, doesn't mean she actually agrees with you and it certainly doesn't mean she feels she shou... (read in full...)

How do I keep the communication alive and not become just a FWB?

Q.   Hello! So I've been seeing this guy for a little under 2 months that i met on a dating site. It was really awesome at first, he would text me everyday and it would never cease. Our first and second dates were really awesome too. We had a great ti...

A.   21 April 2014: Is he broke or something? That would explain the lack of going out. OP he could well only be in it for the hooking up or it could be that he's just forming a bad habit and being lazy. Now your friends know you better than us, so if they say that... (read in full...)

Should I tell his girlfriend he cheated?

Q.   Hello all, Apologies for the length of this question, but I'm trying to figure out what to do about a tricky situation. 3 years ago I fell in love with an old friend, and we started a long-distance relationship. I was 18 at the time, but was su...

A.   21 April 2014: So you want to get back at him by punishing her? Nice. Definitely the right thing to do, crush her world by admitting all the times you shagged her boyfriend behind her back and with pictures too, even better, really rub in it nice and good! She'll ... (read in full...)

They've asked me to join them for a threesome, any one have experience in this?

Q.   Basically I have two friends who are friends with benefits, they've been sleeping together for years and recently approached me and asked if I would join them for a threesome. I really want to try it but the only thing that bothers me is that fact ...

A.   21 April 2014: Lots of fun. The only time a threesome is any kind of hassle is if there's a committed couple involved. OP the fact they've been together before will make the whole process easier and more fun, they pay you most of the attention and you don't have... (read in full...)

On and off for a few years, will it ever get serious?

Q.   I have been on and off with this guy for a few years now. He's a great guy, he obviously has commitment issues. Do you guys ever hear or see an on and off relationship become solid? Or am I seriously wasting my time? Maybe it's the naïve girl in me ...

A.   21 April 2014: That's an easy one, OP. Why would he commit to anything solid to you when he knows you can't walk away? He doesn't have commitment issues, he just knows you're never going to go anywhere so he doesn't ever have to make the commitment. OP your mis... (read in full...)

His brother died recently but hes angry at me all of a sudden

Q.   Hi guys and gals! Hopefully theres someone out there who can help give me an insight into a problem I have. I started dating a guy about 2 months ago and it started off brilliantly. He initiated contact with me and we communicated for a few days, ...

A.   21 April 2014: You need to stop letting the death of his brother be an excuse for him being an asshole to you. Dump him, right now. OP the death of a loved one doesn't make people controlling manipulators. This guy is being abusive and controlling. Like they all... (read in full...)

Fake friend puts on an act in front of people and puts me down!

Q.   I have a friend who I've known for ten years (we're both 25). We both have long term partners and so don't see each other much with work commitments etc... However, when we do get together, (our partners get along well), whether it be out for a ...

A.   21 April 2014: Then it's time for a frank heart to heart with her, OP. You may not have tonnes of friends but having no friends is better than having to be someone's emotional punchbag. As you said something's changed to make her like this, it may be poss... (read in full...)

A shotgun marriage for me leaves me jealous of other people's white weddings!

Q.   Hello. I have been married for 11 months to my partner of 5 years. We got married without a wedding as I was pregnant so basically we didn't have enough time or money for the wedding. Now whenever I hear someone is getting married I get so jealous ...

A.   21 April 2014: Just save up for a renewal ceremony. Or as my wife suggested save up, have this marriage annulled and get married again the way you dreamt of if it's that important. Personally I don't see the big deal about the ceremony, it's just a glorified part... (read in full...)

Since the baby came I have no time to myself and am not interested in sex

Q.   I need your advice on how to start feeling in the mood for sex again, please. My husband and I are the same age. We have been together 4 years, married for 2 and have a one year old baby. He nagged me a lot about moving in together and let me k...

A.   21 April 2014: Time to go see your doc about your depression, OP. I'm quite sure it's that because you're really considering crazy options like him getting a mistress and also have some strange ideas about how being a new mother has made you a disgusting look... (read in full...)

Fake friend puts on an act in front of people and puts me down!

Q.   I have a friend who I've known for ten years (we're both 25). We both have long term partners and so don't see each other much with work commitments etc... However, when we do get together, (our partners get along well), whether it be out for a ...

A.   21 April 2014: You're being silly and frankly the other posters are taking this too much at face value. You see the key things here are; she's been your friend for 10 years which means she's hardly saying any of those things to hurt you or be a bitch to you, your... (read in full...)

He wont ever let me have an opinion.

Q.   I love my boyfriend to death he means every thing to me. Today we got in to a hugh argument. It was over some thing so small. I gave my opinion and he got so mad said I was stupid and called me other names so I stood up and told him i was done and I ...

A.   21 April 2014: You need to break up. OP once violence of any kind enters a relationship then that relationship becomes one based on abuse. I don't care how angry you got or what he did to set you off, this relationship is now one with domestic violence in it. I... (read in full...)

Should I ask her about her sexual past?

Q.   I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...

A.   18 April 2014: Let me get this straight, she makes a joke and now you're worried she's the "town slut"? You and most of the other people who responded kind of missed the "laughed and said" part. You see if you observe human behaviour even to the most basic of ... (read in full...)

I already feel like our spark has gone!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together three years and I already feel like our spark has gone. We don’t live together because he’s in his first year of university and I recently did have a good paying job however the contract ended and now I’m on a ...

A.   18 April 2014: That sounds like the worst possible environment to make a sexual relationship work. You need to start getting adventurous and have more weekends away, nights out etc. OP you need to find places to have sex until you can afford for one or both of y... (read in full...)

He was chatting with other women while I was helping my dying mother

Q.   I think I might had been on denial.So many years of marriage and I thought was a good marraige. Problems,yes,some,but I thought we loved each other.I felt that he loved me, he cared for me,but I was kind of doing my best to keep the marriage hap...

A.   16 April 2014: Tisha is right, OP. We don't need to tell you what's happening or what you have to do about it, you know these things already. Just know that what you're thinking is right. Get professional legal advice and if you haven't already go talk to a bere... (read in full...)

Should I be friends with him or not? I think I am attracted to him though I am happily married and deeply in love with my husband!

Q.   I have been married for 6 years and I am deeply in love with my husband . However I have a friend very close to my heart and we get along really well ! We like each other's company and do spend a lot of time chatting on Facebook ! Recently, I have ...

A.   16 April 2014: Sweet Chilly, all the exclamation marks in your post tell me that you are way to emotionally invested in this guy for it to be in any way innocent! You're not a teenage girl! You're a grown woman and married, and as such shouldn't be playing ... (read in full...)

I've found my soulmate but I'm not ready for the commitment just yet.

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, something that I've known since I met him, but only recently hit me. I got with my boyfriend when I was only 17 so I had never experience...

A.   16 April 2014: OP there's nothing wrong with polyamory or all the variations thereof. But it's always a mutually agreed upon deal between two people who can handle that from the start. It doesn't work without mutual consent and it doesn't work if you're trying to ... (read in full...)

When men watch porn, are they pretending it's happening to them?

Q.   When men watch porn are they pretending it's happening to them? Are they pretending they are the male actor? I'm told they aren't, I don't understand what they get from it if that's not the case....

A.   16 April 2014: When I'm single and haven't sex in a while then yes I do. But when I'm in a relationship not at all. I don't need to pretend I'm having sex when I can just go to my wife and have real sex. Porn is just a visual masturbation aid. A penis in a vagina ... (read in full...)

I've found my soulmate but I'm not ready for the commitment just yet.

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and I know I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, something that I've known since I met him, but only recently hit me. I got with my boyfriend when I was only 17 so I had never experience...

A.   16 April 2014: If your boyfriend was in the same room as you and the other guy would you have "messed around" in that way, and would your boyfriend be okay with you two doing that? If the answer is "no" then that's cheating, OP. Putting yourself in a situ... (read in full...)

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