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Looking for opinions on body type and the promotion of a healthy self-image.

This question has 19 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

6 March 2014: I came across an article today and I'm fascinated in general about the latest trend of trying to promote the Average Woman. I put that in caps because I believe it's just a new label for the same problem. http:/...

Porn discretion for men, how to prevent porn ever becoming an issue in your relationship.

This question has 43 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 December 2012: (Disclaimer: This article is not about lying to your partner. If you using porn in a relationship is a deal-breaker for her and has become a problem then this is not an article for you to break the conditions of your relationship by using these tips ...

Online dating/friendships, general safety and security. Protecting yourself and your privacy.

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

8 February 2012: I'm still shocked and surprized far too often by the number of people who have been stalked, harassed or "hacked" online when all they have to do is implement some very easy safety procedures. It is a known fact well over 90% of people who claim...

Crushes on teachers

This question has 41 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

3 December 2010: Have a crush on your teacher? Can't help but think about them all the way through class? Does s/he seem to give you more attention than the other students? Seem like s/he might like you too? Well this article is for you. Firstly there is nothi...

Women: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

This question has 20 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 November 2010: Warning:(The following contains broad generalizations to illustrate a point, there are no rules nor concrete all encompassing truths in what I write, there are always exceptions. This applies to men too) I've been on this site for a while now and ...

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Would I scare him off if I asked him for coffee?

Q.   How do guys feel about girls asking them out for coffee or something? I really like this guy from university, we both are in history majors. This is a big, huge crush on a dude I've barely ever talked to. But I feel really attracted to him...

A.   3 June 2014: It's not about being cool and confident, it's pretty terrifying to ask out someone when you've built them up so much. But crushes are long, painful annoying things and the worst feeling in the world is looking back and thinking "what if I just had ... (read in full...)

Husband wants a threesome, how can I fulfill this sexual experience?

Q.   Hi Aunts and Uncles. I need to know how to go about having a threesome with my husband. First off I am bisexual, so theres no issue with wanting to be with woman sexually. My husband has always wanted to experience a threesome. Its just a fantasy. ...

A.   3 June 2014: No, no advice to boost your confidence because it's not a confidence issue. It's an issue of your love being exclusive to him and needing him to be exclusive to you, in every way including sexually. I've had threesomes too and they were great fun ... (read in full...)

Would I scare him off if I asked him for coffee?

Q.   How do guys feel about girls asking them out for coffee or something? I really like this guy from university, we both are in history majors. This is a big, huge crush on a dude I've barely ever talked to. But I feel really attracted to him...

A.   3 June 2014: OP the reality of this is that you've already hit the fear zone of this crush and are probably going to do nothing. You're overthinking everything and are too scared of messing it up to do anything, so you'll just wait until a perfect moment whic... (read in full...)

I want her molester jailed

Q.   I'm 31 and my girlfriend is 20. She is my life and I love her so much and i'd do anything for her. We are together 1year and half . Last night alot of things she told me about a guy who groomed her at 12 years to 14 and i cant get it out of my ...

A.   1 June 2014: OP why would you disrespect her and her wishes to satisfy some kind of sick need you have for justice no matter what the cost to her. She was a fool to tell this because you're not trustworthy enough to keep it to yourself. You already told oth... (read in full...)

We are meeting for the first time and her parents want to know my job? Do I say I'm not working?

Q.   Hi, I'm in a little bit of a dilemma, and I need some advice. I met this girl in her late twenties on a dating site. She made the first move. We've only traded a couple of messages back and forth, and are planning to meet tomorrow. She...

A.   1 June 2014: Yeah be honest, but like an interview for a job butter it up a little. Not having a job is not a problem as long as you have ambition and a plan, so be sure to highlight those. Then again you are a yank and not having a job kind of makes you wort... (read in full...)

Given the circumstances why wont he give me a key?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together about two and a half years. He is 35 and I am 27. He has been married before, I have not. I am at his place often, probably about 5 or 6 nights a week. I do not have a key, so if he has to work before me he will ...

A.   26 May 2014: I've never really had to face that kind of situation to be honest as me and my wife used to spread out our time between our places and she could have mine or I hers if either of us was going to be hanging around for the day. Personally I don't see ... (read in full...)

Don't like being friend with my ex, but there is no way

Q.   Hi everybody, Since ever the one in the group that is single and always dating new girls and all the past relations were like heaven. Everybody likes me, even my ex-girlfriends and I love everybody, I was happy. There was a girl whom I always lik...

A.   26 May 2014: You need to avoid her more. You have no excuse for going to dinner with her, OP. That wasn't a group event, why did you do that and punish yourself in that way? You can't completely avoid her but you do need to make an emotional distance. You do t... (read in full...)

He was so eager to see me. Then we had sex. Is he now fobbing me off? If yes, then why?

Q.   I want an honest opinion, please don't judge me. I met a guy on a night out a month ago in a different city. We talked every single day via messaging/phone calls ect. a significant amount. We agreed on a date for him to come and see me at my pla...

A.   26 May 2014: While I agree you were far too easy a lay for him, I say wait and see. OP texts and stuff is not putting work into wooing a person. I have a feeling he's gotten what he wanted and now he's done. I mean the whole set up was for sex, the talking ... (read in full...)

Twenty eight and throwing tantrums

Q.   My lovely live in boyfriend has some sort of anxiety and depression. He has spoken to people about it in the past, and been on antidepressants before my time. His recount on things I've said or scenarios that have happened where he ended up getting ...

A.   26 May 2014: Physical violence, which throwing you into a wall is, means the end of the relationship. Why are you talking about managing the situation after that? OP you're in a situation of domestic abuse, one that was mainly emotional abuse up until now. It... (read in full...)

How do I get my parents to understand this job is making me ill?

Q.   Literally the day I arrived home for the summer from university, I had a job an hour later. My dad pushed me into this job because he is friends with the manager and I'm grateful for the help, but I'm miserable! I understand that every job has it...

A.   24 May 2014: I say just line up the other job and tell them once the ball is in motion. That way there's less time for them to complain and they can't exactly do anything about it. It's just a summer job, they'll have nothing to complain about if you just go g... (read in full...)

A one night stand is still causing a problem a year later. I don't know what to do with my boyfriend

Q.   I'm in my early twenties and about a year ago I started a relationship with a man who is 20 years older than me. He came into my life very quickly and it was quite overwhelming and I regrettably ended up having a one night stand. Me and my boyfriend ...

A.   23 May 2014: You know what, OP, I wouldn't have continued seeing you if we'd had the start of something and you slept with someone else but if I did then that would be the end of the issue. It's not like you cheated, you were free to do what you liked with anyo... (read in full...)

My friend ditched me when I was going to the hospital. Why did she get angry?

Q.   A friend of mine recently got very angry with me, without me understanding why. I was wondering if you could help me with this. I had become quite sick, and wasn't getting any better. I was talking to my friend that Saturday, and she asked me how...

A.   23 May 2014: You should ask her to meet up for a coffee and chat and find out. It wouldn't be good for us to speculate or take sides when we only know your side of the story. I mean it's possible there's part of this that you did kind of mess up but you have... (read in full...)

I'm about to serve time in prison, so how do I tell my new interest, and how can the relationship survive?

Q.   A few days ago, I met this really great guy and even though it's early, things have been going really great for us so far. Yes, I know it's only been a little over a week, but he's been in most of my thoughts and I'm really confident about our ...

A.   23 May 2014: Depending on your country you'll be out in three. Just tell him straight up what's happening and hope for the best. Just be prepared for the possibility that you, a bisexual woman, are going to a place filled with horny, sexually frustrated and lone... (read in full...)

Is my girlfriend drinking too much?

Q.   I have a question about my girfriend. I think for a woman she drinks quite a bit. I am not a big drinker, may be that's why for me it seems like a lot. She ussualy goes between 7-10 drinks a week. She doesn't drink every day, but when she is out w...

A.   23 May 2014: That's nothing. My wife can go through 7-10 drinks in one night. I have friends who have a beer or two after work every day and then tonnes over the weekend. I have some who have a glass of wine with every meal. That's technically a functioning alco... (read in full...)

Any rocker girl band love song ideas?

Q.   I need help with a small problem. My boyfriend and I have a cute little thing going where we tell each other to look up cute love songs and then add them to a playlist we have on Grooveshark. He has to look up songs by guy bands and I have to look ...

A.   22 May 2014: "I don't get that at all" It's simple economics. Boys get into bands to get laid and make money. By far the largest demographic of music buyers is teenage girls, what do teenage girls like? Boys and relationships, it's almost literally the only thin... (read in full...)

How do I get my parents to understand this job is making me ill?

Q.   Literally the day I arrived home for the summer from university, I had a job an hour later. My dad pushed me into this job because he is friends with the manager and I'm grateful for the help, but I'm miserable! I understand that every job has it...

A.   22 May 2014: "I understand that every job has it's flaws, I'm 19 and I've had several jobs, each one has been flawed." OP it sounds like it's more down to your coping skills or lack thereof rather than the job itself. I mean the problems you talk about ar... (read in full...)

Should I get back with him? Saves wasting this holiday, but I can’t forgive what he said, should I forgive it?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend split up a couple of days ago, and thing Is I just don’t know how or what to feel. We had been arguing for about three weeks and hadn’t seen each other at all, but we were talking online and he said how I needed to get over a p...

A.   21 May 2014: "he has hurt me not believing me" Exactly, OP, after 3 and half years he should have more faith in you than to need someone else to convince him that one of the most important events in your life actually happened. Anyway that's beside the point, a... (read in full...)

Should I get back with him? Saves wasting this holiday, but I can’t forgive what he said, should I forgive it?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend split up a couple of days ago, and thing Is I just don’t know how or what to feel. We had been arguing for about three weeks and hadn’t seen each other at all, but we were talking online and he said how I needed to get over a p...

A.   21 May 2014: I still don't get why you're so keen to involve men, your ex, in something like counselling. What's so scary about being an independent woman who sorts out her own life? Whether it was rape or not, OP, it was a sexual trauma that has had a nasty ef... (read in full...)

Should I get back with him? Saves wasting this holiday, but I can’t forgive what he said, should I forgive it?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend split up a couple of days ago, and thing Is I just don’t know how or what to feel. We had been arguing for about three weeks and hadn’t seen each other at all, but we were talking online and he said how I needed to get over a p...

A.   20 May 2014: OP that is a sexual assault, and if you need anymore proof then look in the mirror and ask yourself how it feels to you to think about. Is this you? Your boyfriend is... (read in full...)

What's a subtle way of saying "I miss you", without sounding too needy?

Q.   About 2 months ago, I was dating someone who I really felt a connection with and was falling for him (this rarely happens) and he felt the same way too. However because he came out of a long term relationship at the end of last year, he told me...

A.   20 May 2014: OP why did you add the "my problems" stuff there near the end? Do you personally think there is a bit of neediness from you, with a guy who is basically not interested in you at all? Because he said friends OP but he's completely ignored you for ... (read in full...)

After having the baby, I am having trouble controlling my temper!

Q.   Hello. Since I had my baby 8 months ago I'm finding it difficult to deal with my temper and I'm always angry or emotional especially with my husband. Me and my husband we been together for 5 years and married for a year and we both are deeply in ...

A.   20 May 2014: Head to a doctor just to make sure everything's okay. It's not unusual to be cranky, tired, moody etc. with a new baby in your life. They're a hell of a lot of work, stress and worry, even when you think that's the case. But it could be a bit of P... (read in full...)

I found porn on girlfriends phone about men with big penis. Should I be worried?

Q.   So me and my girlfriend been sexually active and I am actually below average size but my girlfriend says she is fine with it and that she is satisfied. Recently I checked her phone just to go on the internet and on her history it said "big black ...

A.   20 May 2014: No, it means nothing at all. Do you only like one type of breasts? Do you only like one shape of ass? My wife likes big black dick porn too, I'm white and have an above average size but not much above average. We fit like a glove and she's very... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls

Q.   I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...

A.   20 May 2014: Yeah it's you, OP. Beer being thrown on you, the cops called, liking a woman for 8 years, it's definitely you. Forgive me, OP but you sound mentally not all there. I mean that with the greatest respect, but 8 years liking a woman and now 14 year... (read in full...)

Should I try again with my ex? We have 2 daughters and have been apart for 4 years.

Q.   My question is whether it is a good idea to try have a relationship with an ex again when there is children involved? My ex wants to get back together after 4 years apart, and even though I would like to try, I have a fear it would affect our...

A.   19 May 2014: You have so much doubt because it's a very shit idea. I mean it took years for you to get to a point where you could be civil to each other. You're now in a very good place, there perfect place for two parents to be and you're thinking of thro... (read in full...)

Is it normal to pine for an ex when your relationship hits a low?

Q.   Before I begin, I must admit that I sincerely regret the pain caused by me to the persons involved in this mess,so please, refrain from abusive language or harsh approaches.THANK YOU! Currently I'm in a relationship with a guy since the last 3...

A.   19 May 2014: OP it's just a normal response to not being happy with what's going on currently. When things in life aren't great we, as humans, tend to look back on the past with rose tinted glasses and think things were better. The same happens when you're i... (read in full...)

He doesn't get jealous. Does this mean he doesn't love me? Or is unfaithful?

Q.   I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. And there's something that's bothering me. He is not jealous at all. He don't care if my ex's text me he don't care if I cheat on him he don't care if guys hit on me or flirt with me in front ...

A.   16 May 2014: Maybe he doesn't care because you're trustworthy and won't do those things. Did this by any chance come from of those conversations where you test him? Girls your age seem to think the 'jealousy test' is a good gauge of how a guy feels. It's not.... (read in full...)

He broke up with me 4 years ago to travel then changed his mind. Now he's saying the same things again. What should I do?

Q.   Hi everyone. I would really appreciate some advice because I'm not sure what to do here. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years in total. After 1 year together, just after he graduated from uni, he ended things because he wanted to go ...

A.   16 May 2014: I think it's just one of those things where he has a dream that is unfulfilled and you're the reason that it's not being fulfilled. That's not blame by the way, you're not making him do anything, but his choice to be with you has stopped him ... (read in full...)

Should I confront my sister over her affair with a married professor?

Q.   My little sister (age 20) and I have always been so close and tell each other everything. She has always been very conservative and reserved. I've never had to worry about her because she has never given me a reason to. Well just recently, I notice...

A.   14 May 2014: I agree with the poster who says to discuss it with your husband first. I also don't think you have any moral high ground upon which to confront her seeing as you followed her. She's 20, she's a big girl now and she's not "better than this" she'... (read in full...)

How can I get my husband to step up in the personal hygiene department?

Q.   Hello. I have a problem that I really need advice for. Thing is, it's kind of gross, and I don't mean to offend anyone. My question is, how can I get my husband to step up in the personal hygiene department? I'll give you some back story. He i...

A.   14 May 2014: Ugh jesus christ. My mother didn't medically mutilate me either and so she taught me the importance of penile hygiene. OP that white stuff is called smegma or colloquially as dick cheese, and it's disgusting. It's simple, OP, he's a grown man so... (read in full...)

What should I make of his regretting breaking up with me?

Q.   My ex broke up with me 2 days. He's been under a lot of stress with everything from work to friends to our relationship. The last thing he wants to do is to think. So he indulges in computer games and neglecting me. This is not the first time that ...

A.   14 May 2014: OP with all due respect you're kind of missing out on a few key points you seem to be ignoring. You're pretty much leaving all of this down to him and what he wants. What about having a boyfriend who doesn't retreat any time things go wrong and ... (read in full...)

How do I react to my daughter dating a non-Jew?

Q.   I have a daughter who is in a relationship with an atheist man. In order to be with him and out of our disapproving sight she moved far away. Now she wants to reconcile with us and come back home. We are willing to reconcile with her, but not if she ...

A.   13 May 2014: Well the only way would be to prove to her how it would be detrimental to her and her future not to live her life according to the rules you demand she live them by. Seriously, prove it to her. With all due respect I don't think her life will be ... (read in full...)

People think I'm her sugar daddy

Q.   I'm 32 and have been dating a girl for 18 months. She is 11 yrs younger then I am and even though its been a year and a half both our families still don't think our relationship will last. I love her. And I hate to say that in the beginning I didn't...

A.   13 May 2014: Of course you're a sugar daddy, you spoil her and you're older. That's the definition of sugar daddy, it doesn't have to be a negative. Denying it or over-compensating for that isn't going to work in your favour, you're better off embracing the ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend won't fully commit and now ex is around. Should I be worried?

Q.   I am very torn right now as to whether to break up with my boyfriend of a year and a half. Almost all of my friends now are very vocal that I should. He is selfish at times, has drank too much and most recently said he can see a future with me ...

A.   13 May 2014: OP why is the fact that all your friends are very vocally advocating walking away not enough for you? Do you think strangers on the internet are going to have a magical formula or a nugget of a knowledge that will supersede their opinions? It's ... (read in full...)

Co-worker's flirting is going to get her into trouble

Q.   I have this co worker who is very flirtatious with everyone and it's causing trouble here at work and for herself. She's a really nice person and I don't think she's doing it on purpose but it's really getting out of hand. The other day, this guy ...

A.   10 May 2014: Sounds like someone's a little jealous to me. You just can't handle the fact she's prettier/smarter/more well liked/taller/has better tits than you and now you just want to cause shit with her and bully her. Of course I don't believe any of that... (read in full...)

Why does my boyfriend watch chubby porn but not fancy chubby women in real life?

Q.   I'm slim, my boyfriend tells me I'm sexy and he loves my body often. But I am slim and my breasts are an A to a B cup. I have a nice bum. However my boyfriend always looks at BBW porn. Not very big girls but chubby with big boobs. It's his go to ...

A.   9 May 2014: Because chubby women are the only real women in porn. They're not enhanced. Plus it's just a niche like 'teen' or 'interracial' I prefer them aswell. Although I like any woman really as long as it's home-made and they're real women with their part... (read in full...)

She broke up with me because of anxiety, but doesn't want to give me details

Q.   Hi, I am was dating a girl who I got on really well. One day she called it off. Not in the usual way, it sounded quite strange. Anyway, she has kept in touch with me for quite a while now. She sounds like she wants to date again. When I asked ...

A.   9 May 2014: "What does it mean?" None of your business until she's comfortable enough with you to explain it is what it means. "Has something terrible happened in her past?" Not necessarily, she may just have anxiety as a condition. Again though, OP, this is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants a blowjob but I can't do it due to past experiences

Q.   My current boyfriend of almost a year really wants me to give him a blowjob. He's asked a number of times and at first I thought nothing of it and said I would at some point, but more recently he's become more naggy on the topic. This has made me ...

A.   9 May 2014: OP with all due respect just spit it out. He doesn't need to know what happened with your ex in detail, but he does need to know how you feel about this, what effect even the thought of giving him one has on you and that it's based on a past trau... (read in full...)

Will I be limiting my chances of having a Boyfriend considering that I don't like giving blow jobs?

Q.   Will I have limited boyfriend chances unless I give blow jobs?? I don't mind hand jobs, but I'm not a person who feels comfortable with the idea of a penis in my mouth. I also don't particularly like the idea of a guy ejaculating on me, but I don't ...

A.   9 May 2014: No you're fine. It's like anything in dating it's just one of your conditions. I see blow jobs as a sexual need, I wouldn't date a girl who doesn't give them but I'd have zero problem wearing a flavoured condom and no problem not ejaculat... (read in full...)

Are there any decent guys out there still? Will I ever find somebody normal?

Q.   I'm a depressed, 32 year old female and I'm starting to wonder whether I will ever find a normal guy....I'm loyal, attractive, caring, trustworthy and I seem to end up with all of these guys that have 1 or more major issues. I know nobody is ...

A.   9 May 2014: "depressed...loyal, attractive, caring, trustworthy" kind of makes you sound like a bit of a pushover but the fact you didn't tolerate those 8 guy's bullshit for long says that's not the case. OP unless you can identify a pattern, similar trai... (read in full...)

I know her boyfriend does not have good intentions, how do I handle this?

Q.   Hi everyone Me and my sister are very close even though she is 4 years older than me. I got married last year and also had a baby however I was pregnant before marriage and she been there for me. The problem is me and her best friend hate her ...

A.   9 May 2014: "he played his game so well" Yeah what a prize he got in your cheater of a sister. OP fair enough you're on her side, she's your sister but she's no angel in this at all. You talk about him playing a game so well, he was probably on his knees be... (read in full...)

My husband requests fellatio all the time and not only that! What do you do when your husband denies you a sexual orgasm or intercourse if you don't do it first?

Q.   I don't want to bash my husband or write insensitively of him but it has caused a little ripple in our marriage where it hasn't completely gone away. By continually asking for me to give him oral sex but it's not as bad as it was before when he kept ...

A.   9 May 2014: "What do you do when your husband denies you a sexual orgasm or intercourse if you don't do it first?" Whip out my vibrator and please myself instead. That's what I'd do if I was a woman and in your situation. There's nothing sexual I won't do for... (read in full...)

Mum as wingman, good or bad idea?

Q.   I hope this doesn't sound bad, but does anyone see anything wrong with going to places with your mother a lot ?. My mother and I have been to a lot of gigs together over the years. I am 30 and she is 55. I guess sometimes people can think that a ...

A.   9 May 2014: OP it'd only be a problem if you were a teenager or she was embarrassing. At our age mothers are just regular women, my mother is tonnes of fun and still knows how to party. My friends think she's cooler than me. Just tell her next time you're o... (read in full...)

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