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Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can.

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Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!

Q.   I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...

A.   9 July 2013: I really didn't think I had anything to contribute here until your "dream come true" comment. Sorry to burst your bubble, but if I were ever tempted, all I have to do is think back to "Fatal Attraction." http://ww... (read in full...)

How old were you when you kissed someone?

Q.   just asking, how old where you when you kissed somebody or anybody?????...

A.   9 July 2013: 14. But the first time that the earth moved was 16.... (read in full...)

Spots on my scrotum that go away. Is this normal?

Q.   Hello, I recently I have noticed 2 spots on my scrotum they are facial looking ones they don't hurt as I don't even know they are there untill I look I have this before they cleared up I just wanted to ask someone about this is this normal??...

A.   2 July 2013: Probably nothing to worry about. It's just skin, so it does the same thing that skin on the rest of your body does -- gets pimples and spots. It's good to keep an eye on it and get to know what's normal for you, so that if something out of the ... (read in full...)

I can't say no to sex and being labelled by my friends. Please help me, I keep getting hurt over and over!

Q.   I have a lot of guy problems, so ill explain where it all came from. Im 17 years old. I lost my virginity at 14. To a 19 year old, it was forced and I was Hammered. I had never even made out with a guy before him. Then i waited nearly a year be...

A.   1 July 2013: Kiddo, I have daughters your age. If one of them were in your situation, I would far rather know what's going on so that they could get help. Would I be disappointed and upset? Of course. But it would be far, far worse to have one of my kids in ... (read in full...)

My uncle has cancer and I'm having panic attacks. Please help me this is a lot to deal with!

Q.   My Uncle has cancer, how are we all going to get through this?. I live with my Grandparents and my Uncle. My Uncle was diagnosed with cancer a month ago. He has had a few tests, and he will get the results tomorrow. The doctor wants to see him and ...

A.   1 July 2013: What you're feeling is completely understandable. A cancer diagnosis for someone close to you is a horrible thing. To me it felt like you were on a roller coaster -- no chance to stop it, let alone get off, you were pulled along to the end. ... (read in full...)

I'm happy to have her as just a friend but I really don't want to see her with someone else

Q.   Ok, long story short. A little while ago I told one of my friends that I liked her as more than a friend but she ended up telling me that she didnt like me in that way which after a while I finally accepted and am really happy to still have her as a ...

A.   26 June 2013: I have to second Tisha's comments. A genuine friend without baggage or ulterior motives would accept who she has in her life without qualification. If you're not "ready to actually see her with someone else" then you have either baggage or ... (read in full...)

Overreacting to a Missed Happy Birthday?

Q.   I have a really good friend that lives in another state. Overall he is a really good guy and his birthday was a few months ago. I sent him a "birthday" package with a few items. I also made sure to wish him a Happy Birthday as well on his special ...

A.   26 June 2013: Personally I think it's only appropriate to make a fuss about birthdays for children. It's nice if friends remember it, but hardly a deal-breaker. At your age? He got you a gift at approximately the right time -- that's pretty good. Yes, ... (read in full...)

How best to end this friendship?

Q.   Had a friend, known for 7 years. Freelance work, so understand that occasionally things crop up and she had to cancel arranged lunches, but it got to the point where it was almost constant. Used to spend long emails sorting out her problems ...

A.   24 June 2013: It seems to me she's made it very clear where you stand. You're a resource, not a friend. Of course there are occasions, even periods of a few weeks, where one's life is genuinely too hectic to spend the sort of time you'd like with your friends. ... (read in full...)

Benefits of an accounting degree?

Q.   I am currently studying accounting at university. However, I failed two important courses which each add a year to my completion date. Right now I am considering quitting the degree and going to study CIMA or switch to another school and change ...

A.   20 June 2013: OK, I didn't see your follow-up before I posted. Again, not knowing your country I kinda have one hand tied behind my back, but here goes. Failing two courses can be dealt with. Everyone who hires has been through university and knows that stu... (read in full...)

Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?

Q.   Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!...

A.   19 June 2013: Hard work is important, for sure. But it has to be matched with ability and aptitude. There is nothing in this world that would make me an artist -- even my stick men are awful -- so it wouldn't make sense for me to put my effort in that ... (read in full...)

Why did I find condoms when I cleaned up his room? Was he cheating?

Q.   Me and my bf are together about 3 years. First 2 yrs was in the distance, I was in Europe, he in America. About one year we are living in same city, but not together yet. In fact we don't have a time to meet often, we are both working to save money ...

A.   19 June 2013: Thanks, YouWish, for the best chuckle I've had this morning. :)... (read in full...)

I can't take the way my mother treats me, what should I do?

Q.   sorry this is a bit long... I can't believe at my age I still get hurt from the way my own mother treats me. I am not holding any grudges towards her and I am not talking about the past, no, I am talking about the present. It surprises me that...

A.   17 June 2013: As adults we have the right to choose who will be in our lives. Choosing people who build us up, affirm us, challenge us to be better, and support us, makes us stronger and more healthy emotionally. Negative, jealous, vindictive people do the ... (read in full...)

My husband is a great dad except for his yelling!

Q.   My husband is a great dad but if he has to ask my son and daughter to do somethng--ie clean up their rooms or take a shower more than twice, he starts yelling at them. My son is 10 and is really affected by that. he just starts crying and has told ...

A.   4 June 2013: Your post hit very close to home. To an extent that was my default mode as well. And not terribly different from how my mother was. My wife told me once, “the kids never know what they’re going to get from you.” Sometimes I could be calm and ... (read in full...)

Junior in college and I hate my major. Do I call it quits and change it?

Q.   I’m a university student majoring in business management, and I unfortunately hate my major. I was a performing arts major during my first year of college. I chose it because I didn’t know what else to choose, but I realized it wasn’t for me. I...

A.   16 May 2013: Ok, this is a big and important question. I recall the dilemma very well. First, you haven't told us how much longer you have to complete the BA in business. My BA took five years -- are you in the home stretch and just need the one more yea... (read in full...)

Is it worth having him as a friend if he can't remember my birthday?

Q.   Dear Aunts, I have two best friends, and I always tell them everything, but this problem involves one of them. One of them (I'kll call him A) has been wonderful to me, but I don't want to trouble him about my conflicts with the one who has hurt...

A.   13 May 2013: I wonder if you need to step back and gain some perspective here. While birthdays are clearly very important to you, they aren't to everyone. Perhaps he's one of those people. Personally I'd rather never observe my birthday ever again, and I have ... (read in full...)

I discovered she doesn't shave her legs and it bothers me!

Q.   Hello! Well I kinda have a problem. I met this girl online about 3 weeks ago and we've hung out a lot. We decided lastnight that we would be together. Today she ran a marathon and she wore shorts which she hasn't at all since I've known her but I ...

A.   6 May 2013: Give it time. If she hasn't been in a relationship in a while, and it's winter anyway, she may have not thought it was worth the bother. I went for a first date with a girl once, in the middle of winter. She'd never had a relationship before, ... (read in full...)

Is this a problem what happened when I had sex with my girlfriend last night?

Q.   MOD NOTE: English is not the first language of asker. Dear sir.. I am 27 years male. I do have habit of hand shaking my peninsula.(masturbating). When I do so that lequid comes out.(I ejeculate when I mastubate). Last night I had sex with my g...

A.   6 May 2013: It's most likely nothing to be concerned about, just temporary. However, if it happens often you will want to discuss it with your doctor. There is a condition called retrograde ejaculation h... (read in full...)

I hate my father, but my whole family depends on him.

Q.   I grew up in such a loving family, and then one day that all changed. My mom and dad had argument and my dad moved out from our apartment. Shortly after my mom and my younger brother went on vacation. The same day that they went, my dad dropped ...

A.   3 May 2013: It sounds like a classic mid-life crisis. Some men can become extremely self-centred, caring about their own gratification at the expense of all their old relationships. It's not uncommon, and it's certainly not pretty to watch. I'm sorry th... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend's father a deal breaker for us?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend 2 and a half years, we are both 25 years old. We have our problems, but I really need advice on one thing that's incidentally not his fault, as i'm not sure whether it's a deal breaker or not.. We've been living toge...

A.   2 May 2013: You've been given a gift in an odd sort of way. Your b/f is such a kind and giving person that he can't own up to what a toxic and using individual his father is. Personally I've been there and done that. My wife and I sent a countles... (read in full...)

Should I trust my instinct regarding this Medium and let it give me comfort, or am I being ripped off?

Q.   I'm hoping all you good people can help me. I was very close to my nan who dies last year and I haven't really gotten over her loss yet. As a result i've been seeing a medium for the last few week who charges around £30 per sitting. My Boyfriend i...

A.   1 May 2013: Count me among the skeptics. People who do this are trained to profile people and to pick up cues from their body language and conversation. While it certainly can seem spooky, what's spooky is how well they can read people and pick up on their ... (read in full...)

The mother of my unborn child wants nothing to do with me!

Q.   She's 13 weeks pregnant and I swear she hates me and told me not to call or sms actually she dumped me...must I leave her? I really love her but seems like nothings gets fixed when I apologise and ask for secoind chance...yes its my child please ...

A.   1 May 2013: There are some things that there's no going back from. Physical abuse is one of them. I told my daughters that that should be a firm rule they tell every guy they're involved with -- hit me once and it's over forever. You're obligated to provide ... (read in full...)

I'm married with 3 children, one of my children may belong to my lover. How can I make everyone happy? I don't want to lose my husband.

Q.   I got married eight years ago to a man i seriously thought was my soulmate. Shortly after our wedding he started shutting down sexually and left me wanting for more. Since that time i have had a few affairs, nothing that would threaten my emot...

A.   30 April 2013: A good starting point would be to find out for sure who the father is. You could have DNA tests done on all the kids to see if they share the same father. Testing kits can be ordered online. If all three are your husband's then you're not taking ... (read in full...)

Important interview tomorrow. Help! How do I create a good impression? What are the points to take into account when being interviewed?

Q.   Tomorrow I have a very important career interview for Aviation, Hospitality, Travel and Tourism training college. Tomorrow is going to be my first interview and I have no idea how things go and how to make an impression. Please tell me all the dos ...

A.   29 April 2013: http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2012/04/30/how-to-answer-tell-me-about-yourself-in-a-job-interview http:... (read in full...)

Why the comments on my shorts this year?

Q.   I live in Michigan and it is starting to warm up out here. On Saturday I wore my shorts (they are a short athletic style) and a t-shirt. I had some errands to run and some of the looks and comments I got were very strong like Hey Baby nice ass! and ...

A.   28 April 2013: In places with serious, prolonged winters you can go for months without seeing anything more than people's faces and hands. An outfit that doesn't draw a second glance in September becomes pretty amazing in the spring. Folks who live in warm ... (read in full...)

If my b/f loves oral sex then why does he so seldom ask for it?

Q.   Ok, I have a few questions about guys' sexual preferences. Background : we have a loving relationship and a fantastic sex life. He makes me orgasm 90% of the time through penetration alone otherwise he'll finish me off with his fingers. ...

A.   28 April 2013: "I just want to keep my baby as happy and excited as he makes me." Good for you -- you really can't go wrong with that attitude. There isn't any such thing as "guys' sexual preferences" unless you want four billion itemized lists. Everyone... (read in full...)

How does the average couple afford children?

Q.   Does anyone else worry a little that they will never be able to afford a child? I am still on the younger side so I know I have a couple of years to figure it out before my clock starts ticking, but I wonder how we will ever get there. We do okay ...

A.   24 April 2013: As others have said, kids don't have to be ridiculously expensive. Yes, disposable diapers cost a fortune so you can try using traditional cloth diapers (although we tried that and concluded that Pampers were worth it). You don't have to buy ... (read in full...)

Does my step-father not like me? How can we have more of a family relationship?

Q.   Hello, Would you say if this attitude says that my step dad doesn't like me?: - he keeps a mental list of exactly which lights I keep on through the night and how late I go to bed after watching tv.He says I'm wasting electricity but I'm paying f...

A.   24 April 2013: I'm not sure whether he likes you or not. But he doesn't seem to be making much of an effort to be likeable. If I were in his shoes I'd behave differently; I wonder what your mother thinks about how he treats you? You haven't given us much to ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend makes me wash my hands after touching my penis because she's afraid of getting pregnant. Could it happen like that?

Q.   hi all. i have a big question to ask. my girlfriend and i fool around, as in oral sex. she is afraid while im giving her pleasure with my finger that sometimes i have to readjust my erection and she makes me go wash my hands because she is afraid ...

A.   24 April 2013: Yes it is possible. When you are aroused, as you surely will be during foreplay, you will produce pre-cum. This is a secretion from the Cowper's gland: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bulbourethral_gland Pre-cum may, or may not, contain spe... (read in full...)

What to do? I'm older, alone and along comes my sexy sister in law? Will it cause problems to date an ex-inlaw?

Q.   I'm a widower, I have dated a few women over the years and was not looking for a relationship,I just wanted to get out of the house and have some fun. My wife's brother's X wife called me to ask me how I was doing, I haven't talked to her since my ...

A.   20 April 2013: Tisha's point is spot on -- it would help you if you could clear up your thinking. Not that I blame you for being in a bit of a fog -- three great hours in bed after years of mourning and abstinence would mess up better men than me. To my mind ... (read in full...)

BF told me today "You'd better not come back home until after 6pm" I pay rent & it's MY home too!

Q.   Background info: My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We moved in together for the first time last August. We attend the same college(as full time students) which is only a few minutes walk from our apartment. So, as the title say...

A.   17 April 2013: The lease is not the problem -- your wellbeing is. You are frightened, stressed, and it sounds like this semester is practically a write-off anyway. Do you really think parting at the end of the summer when the lease is up will be amicable? ... (read in full...)

My partner says he loves me but he can't stay and watch the way daughter is with me.

Q.   I'm 50 years old and my partner has been living with me for almost 2 years. My 20 yr old daughter lives with me and I know I run round after her even though she snaps at me most the time. She hardly does any housework and never pays lodgings...

A.   17 April 2013: "I'm scared my daughter really hates me and I want her to like me." An understandable sentiment, certainly. Personally I think as parents we have to choose to either parent or to try to be a friend. If we successfully parent, our children... (read in full...)

I don't want to raise another child alone. I don't think this relationship will last. Should I have an abortion?

Q.   Hello all, I need some major advice. I am 29 and a decent paying job. I have a 12 year old that I have raised by myself. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and fully comitted for about 3 years. This would be his first child. His job is not that gre...

A.   16 April 2013: I would imagine that the most useful advice you can get here is from a woman who has had an abortion - I hope one will chime in. For what it's worth I think the best outcome for a child is when they are raised by someone who is emotiona... (read in full...)

Is sex really ruined when a man has to pull out?

Q.   Because of a medical condition, I do not use contraception such as the pill or injection etc. My doctor many years ago taught me how to calculate my fertile days etc which has worked perfectly for many years. My ex and I used this method fine for ...

A.   12 April 2013: There are two different questions here. The first involves being a decent guy who respects his lover and cares for her experience. What you describe is a complete fail on that count. He sounds stunningly selfish and inconsiderate. To my mind a ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my 12 year old that the man she calls daddy isn't her real father?

Q.   I'm married with 3 kids. The eldest is the result of a fling I had overseas. I came back and met up with my ex, who was never over me. We got together and then I told him I was pregnant and we got married. My daughter was only 5lb and I pretended ...

A.   12 April 2013: Should she be told eventually? Yes, absolutely. But this is news that should come at the "right" time -- when she's emotionally mature enough to handle it. I rather doubt that the onset of adolescence is really the best time to drop what she ... (read in full...)

I think I made a terrible mistake and need help making amends

Q.   I made a terrible mistake. I am a college student, but I am an older one trying to get a second degree. One of my teachers is the same age as me (and I am also a female). She invited me to couple of her concerts (she plays instruments in a group). ...

A.   5 April 2013: You've apologised, she acknowledged the apology, that should be the end of it. Don't make any more of it -- you may not have been in error in the first place. ... (read in full...)

Things they do not tell you about having kids

Q.   Things They Do Not Tell You About Having Kids By Frank Kermit ND, Relationships I always try to be very practical and realistic in my articles. This can come across very negative, given that my topic is Relationships (and all things relative...

A.   1 April 2013: Well said, Frank. Parenting is an amazing ride, and not always for the faint of heart. My kids are the only truly worthwhile legacy I will leave when my time here is done.... (read in full...)

Is neck kissing a turn on for guys? Or just girls?

Q.   Is neck kissing a turn on for guys? Or just girls?...

A.   1 April 2013: Can't speak for other guys, but it sure works for this one!... (read in full...)

How can you tell if your 16 year old daughter is having sex?

Q.   How do you know if your 16 old is having sex she say she not but how can you tall? ...

A.   25 March 2013: You can't tell. If you've raised her well she will be using her own good judgement about whether or not to sleep with a guy and she'll be taking the appropriate precautions. If she's got bad judgement it's too late for you to do much about it now.... (read in full...)

Should I call off my engagement? He is possesive but my family need his money....

Q.   Hello all, I would really be grateful if anyone can guide me through this problem I'm facing. Iv met my current fiance 1 year ago, we've started talking and we directly clicked, he's a really really well off business man who is much older than me,...

A.   22 March 2013: Even if he would pay your mother's debts (which I doubt), it is not worth you living a life of misery and servitude. Run away from this person, and let the chips fall where they may for your mother. The fact that your mother is basically asking ... (read in full...)

I'd like to return his parents' kindness but he's telling me not to

Q.   My boyfriend informed me a couple days ago that his mother is planning on giving me a basket for Easter. This will be the first time in ages since I got anything for Easter. My boyfriend doesn't get along with parents, especially his dad. Anyway, I ...

A.   22 March 2013: I'm sure there's a story here, because trying to maintain that much separation from parents seems very odd. He doesn't want them to include you in things?? Your instincts are, I think, right on. It's always appropriate to recognize kind gestures... (read in full...)

Should parents knock before they enter a kid's room?

Q.   This is a question to all parents I want to know what do u think of the concept of a) knocking on you kids door before entering their room? 2)How do you get them to open up to you more,what if they are constantly texting,do u check their...

A.   22 March 2013: (a) Parents should absolutely knock before they enter. For one thing, it helps model common courtesy. For another, once kids start closing their doors, they may well be wanting privacy. I for one never cared to walk in on something I neither ... (read in full...)

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