New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*. Grant agony aunt

*. Grant

Canada  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *. Grant to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *. Grant a private message

*. Grant's Ratings
Excellent78%
Average6%
Poor17%
*. Grant's profile:

Reading Ann Landers for years growing up told me that there are all kinds of people who have issues they can't talk about with the people they're closest to. Dear Cupid is really just the modern equivalent, but so much more immediate. This is a place where people can get real input from real people. I'm happy to help where I can.

< Prev1234567891011Next > [33 pages, 1298 answers]

My parents abandoned me and now they are asking me for help! Please help me deal with the anger?

Q.   I have a little issue - I was raised by my grandmother because I am the 1st born child and both my parents remarried after I was born. I never really had much contact with both of them growing up and actually thought my grandma was my mother until I ...

A.   24 October 2013: You are entitled to your anger. Don't feel guilty about it, own it. You are where you are today despite these people. When they ask you for money, "get a job" is a perfectly reasonable response.... (read in full...)

How to include infirm grandparents in our big day?

Q.   My fiancé and I don't have much money and instead of a big wedding we are planning on semi eloping. There is an officiant who will marry us in her home for a small fee. The only catch is we can only invite four people. We plan on having lunch at a ...

A.   22 October 2013: Have you spoken to your grandparents about this? Get their input! Your grandfather will know whether he can manage a trip across town to a restaurant; his grandfather will know how much trouble it is to accommodate his back problems. In short, ... (read in full...)

Can't get over my ex even though he's been ignoring me

Q.   I'm 18 and this summer I had a month-and-a-half relationship with a guy who was a year younger than me and whom I'd met through some high school projects. We'd known each other since February, but only started talking a lot in May. When I say a lot, ...

A.   19 October 2013: That's how I broke up with a girlfriend, back when I was about 15. I was tired of her, didn`t want an ugly confrontation, so I just ignored her. Hardly something I'm proud of, but that's what immature boys who aren't ready for relationships do. ... (read in full...)

Is this really an issue for counselling?

Q.   Hello everyone. My boyfriend of 2 years has been wanting to go to counseling for awhile, but I don't think its necessary. He is just mad because I haven't looked for a job in the last month. I take 4 classes 2 days a week at a community college so I ...

A.   16 October 2013: If he thinks you need counselling then you should go. He's not listening to you about why you're not looking for a job. You're not hearing him that it's an important issue for him. If nothing else, it should end the arguing. More to the point, ... (read in full...)

Do men really think about sex every 7 seconds?

Q.   Hey ladies, just have a question... I have heard so many times that men think about sex every 7 seconds. Is this an exaggeration? Also, a second question I have is, I think about sex all the time even though I don't get much pleasure out of ...

A.   15 October 2013: I don't know where that 7 second stat came from. How on earth would anyone measure that? It's certainly age dependent. At 15 I might have thought about something other than sex ever seven seconds -- say if I hadn't eaten in three days or somet... (read in full...)

Will we get stared at or ridiculed? We are a biracial couple

Q.   Hello. My name is Jeff, and I have a question that may come off as odd. I've met this beautiful white woman, and she told me she would like to go out on a date with me. As I am black, I have always wondered how it would be like to date a white wom...

A.   15 October 2013: There are probably places in Canada where it would draw attention, but not many. Certainly if you're in the larger cities, no one will even notice. Have fun.... (read in full...)

What is the right age do you think, to settle down and have a family?

Q.   When do you think people ussualy start thinking about settling down? My daughter is 27, her boyfriend will be 30 in a couple months. They both have good jobs, but live with 4 other roomates. its a big house in a very expensive city. I just vis...

A.   10 October 2013: I was married in 1988, so I have an idea of where you're coming from. Maybe things changed between your daughter and mine (20 & 18), but my girls seem to think that marriage is a completely outmoded idea and have no plans to do so. It's not that ... (read in full...)

Thoughts on writing to your ex?

Q.   Is it a good idea to write a letter to your ex? I've been doing the no contact rule, but it has been really hard. I've been thinking about writing a letter to let her know how I feel and how much I am hurting. Will I be making a fool of myself by ...

A.   8 October 2013: Brings to mind the line from the Moody Blues: "letters I've written, never meaning to send." If you're stuck and unable to move on months after breaking up then writing out your thoughts and feelings can be an effective way of sorting out your ... (read in full...)

Feeling confused and upset. Was the unsuccessful sex, with my housemate and friend, his fault, my fault, the alcohol, or none of that, and why?

Q.   I'm 19 years old, my housemate (male) is the same age. I've never really been attracted to him really, he's always been "just a friend" Anyhow, we got REALLY drunk a few nights ago and ended up chatting until gone 4am when we went to his room. He...

A.   29 September 2013: Almost certainly the alcohol. It's astonishing how a few drinks can make something seem like a really great idea -- and what those drinks can do to a guy's performance. If he was really drunk he probably didn't evaluate what you were doing as ... (read in full...)

What's the difference between "real sex" and soft, vanilla-porn?

Q.   I have yet to be in a relationship or, as pathetic as it is to admit, have sex (mostly because - and it's not a low self-esteem thing - I'm unattractive; women aren't interested in me, never have and it seems like never will; I get it, and I'm okay ...

A.   29 September 2013: Porn very often seems to follow a script. They kiss, then she does oral, then he may do oral, then there's penetration, during which they will change positions three times, then there may be anal, and finally he'll pull out and jerk himself into ... (read in full...)

She had a breakdown when I was her advisor and now 6 years later, she's sending me very strange emails. What do I do?

Q.   About six years ago I advised a graduate student from China who didn't do well in the lab and failed to complete her project. She left with a Master's degree but also went a little nuts when she was here. I had to take her to the Psych ward at the ...

A.   24 September 2013: You should ignore her completely. Definitely direct her emails to spam. If you don't have call display, get it, and do not pick up calls from China. Whatever game she's playing, it can't possibly end well for you. The best thing that can happen ... (read in full...)

I found out husband is taking viagra. Is he lying to me about the reason?

Q.   my husband is way. I found he took some Viagra with him. I asked him why did he need it? He said he need it when he feel like to have a sex and he will do it by himself with out any partner? I don't believe him.To you, it is a case? And do you think ...

A.   23 September 2013: I've heard of men using Viagra as a masturbation aid, but I have no idea how common the practice is. I would think his ED has to be pretty profound before he would want to spend his money that way. ... (read in full...)

Hard from seeing a naked woman?

Q.   I have a question about erections.... My last two boyfriends could only get half boners from seeing me naked, one was heavily into porn. Is that because I look bad compared to the porn? Is it because they aren't really that interested in se...

A.   15 September 2013: It's partly an issue of age and experience. A teenage virgin could get painfully hard at the mere sight of a naked woman. As you get older and have more experience, you react less.... (read in full...)

Shaking and sex??

Q.   I have a girlfriend i been dating for 2 years now. Everytime i see her and we get sexual i start to shake. Is this normal? I shake as though im cold but im not. Am i nervous? I dont understand how i could be i mean i been with her for 2 years and we ...

A.   15 September 2013: I've experienced that -- sort of a systems overload because you're so turned on. Does this happen every time? Did it happen with previous partners? Once in a while is normal; every time, perhaps not. ... (read in full...)

I want to be horny but his idea of romance is humping me like a dog. Please somebody, give me some advice I can use!

Q.   I am 19 and so is my boyfriend. We have been together since i was 13. I have always believed i should save myself for that one person...i had always known he was that one person but i was trying to wait till our honeymoon...well i didn't. At 16 i ...

A.   13 September 2013: Ginseng is something that's commonly used for libido. You can find it in powdered form to make tea.... (read in full...)

She enjoys sex, so why not more often?

Q.   Hi all This is going to be a long post, props to those who take the time to read it. :) Me and my gf have been together for 18 months now. We had our ups and downs, as most couples, for the most part we solved our issies, but there is one pro...

A.   5 September 2013: You might want to read up on over-use of antibiotics. Taking antibiotics for colds is worse than useless -- colds are viral infections, against which antibiotics are totally ineffective. Over-use promotes antibiotic resistance. ... (read in full...)

Teenager is going to study and live alone in Canada

Q.   I have a daughter, she is 13 years old. We are divorced with her mother. Mother wants to send our daughter to the secondary school in Canada to study. She plans that our daughter will stay alone and study. I don t agree with this plan, as I thi...

A.   3 September 2013: You must be talking about a boarding school, right? A place where the students have supervised accommodation, meal preparation, etc. What is you wife's motivation for this? Does she think that your daughter will have better opportun... (read in full...)

I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates

Q.   I feel so betrayed when my boyfriend masturbates. Here recently he's been looking at porn just bout everyday even with me being in the same house/next room. I have very low self esteem and I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and when we do have ...

A.   1 September 2013: Is he a considerate lover? Does he make sure it's good for you? And does that mean that he's making sure the setting is right, you've had a nice dinner, the dishes are done, that you're relaxed, maybe giving a bit of massage? And then lots of ... (read in full...)

Why is my wife suddenly so happy to have anal sex? I can't ask her about it!

Q.   Anal sex with wife. Hi. Been married for 10 years and wife said was virgin. Regular sex was painful with her to start with and she seemed really not to know hot to handle it. However, very recently she started initiating anal...

A.   22 August 2013: Only she knows the answer to this. It might have been a kink she was always curious to try, and then she discovered that she's one of those rare women who genuinely enjoys it. I doubt there's anything sinister going on. Enjoy!... (read in full...)

Would it be alright to date a former teacher that I now work with?

Q.   I have just recently become a teacher and one of my ex teachers is working at the same school I am and he is older then me and taught me for a year. However we have become friends and are getting to know each other but I was thinking would it be ...

A.   22 August 2013: Subject to the usual caveats about workplace relationships, there's no problem. Now that you're an adult and he's no longer in a position of authority a relationship would no longer be inappropriate.... (read in full...)

Are boobs that important to guys?

Q.   Hello! Ok so I am a 17 year old girl, and very small and thin... If any of you know who Ariana Grande is (singer/actress) I basically have the exact body type as her. Short, petite, and thin. Unfortunately that also means I really don't have boobs ...

A.   19 August 2013: I'd never heard of Ariana Grande so I googled some pics of her. Good grief, she has a marvelous figure! I'd have been thrilled to date someone who looked like that. You have nothing to worry about. That insensitive schmuck told you more about ... (read in full...)

I've lost sight of myself in this relationship and don't even like my boyfriend, who treats me with didrespect. How do I leave him?

Q.   I want to leave my boyfriend. We've been a couple for 2 and a half years and the relationship has been going nowhere for most of that time. We argue a lot and when we don't argue, we hardly talk to one another. We had a lot of pro...

A.   15 August 2013: "I don't love him but I know that if I leave him I will miss him because I've been with him for so long ..." That's not a relationship, it's a habit. And if your doctor is telling you you're suffering stress, it's a bad habit. Start plannin... (read in full...)

How do I get my children to talk to me again after I left their mother?

Q.   I left my wife just over six months ago. Not for another woman, I still live alone, but we had been arguing for years and years about everything under the sun, and in the end I just got tired of it. I deliberately chose a flat not far from our ...

A.   14 August 2013: Be patient. Keep up the communication from your end -- call, send texts, etc. Be positive. It will likely take quite some time, but they need to know that you're there for them and that you want to be part of their lives.... (read in full...)

If someone has regretted starting smoking at some point, will they ever quit?

Q.   As much as I hate that you can't make someone quit smoking I understand that it has to be their choice. I just wondered though, although I am possibly living in hope. If someone has regretted starting smoking at some point, will they ever quit? At ...

A.   14 August 2013: People may choose to quit, but perhaps not on the timescale you're happy with. I started somewhere around 1976 and quit this last May. Call me a slow learner. ;)... (read in full...)

Fiance is angry because I don't want him going on vacation with family of my dead husband

Q.   Ok so, I've been dating this man for 6 months and we are engaged to be married. Yea, when you know you know. It just felt right. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage (he passed away 5 years ago). I thought everything was ok until this past week ...

A.   14 August 2013: No, you're not being unreasonable. Instead, he comes across as selfish and insensitive. These people were part of your life for years. They are your children's family. By making sure your kids keep to the tradition of the family vacation... (read in full...)

My wife doesn't want to tell me that I am not her best lover. Why does she lie?

Q.   I met my wife when she was 40 (now she is 46). She told me that, among almost 30 previous sex partners, I am her best lover. I can not believe her. My penis is only 5 inches and normal thickness. I am not bad in bed, but I know I am not the best. ...

A.   10 August 2013: OK,say she says, 'no, you aren't the best I've had.' What do you do then? Do you demand to know which of the 30 was best? And why? And how big he was? Do you really think that's going to improve your relationship? Would that sort of 'honesty' ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants more pictures of my friends topless in return for theme park tickets

Q.   My boyfriend last summer had a bet that if I could get a friend to flash me he would pay for a ticket to the theme park close to us. Well I pulled it off I got a friend to text me a picture of her topless and success I win! Well he took it a bit...

A.   7 August 2013: Your boyfriend is a creepy loser. Not only should you not feed him any more pics of your friends, you should be wary of giving him pics of you. He doesn't sound like someone who can be trusted with your dignity or your privacy.... (read in full...)

It's like he'd prefer to masturbate to porn than be with me

Q.   Me and my boyfriend were mucking about recently watching just some tv. Anyway my boyfriend had a question which I didn't know the answer to 3 minutes later he's figured it out. He has a habit of trying to look things up on his phone and then act ...

A.   6 August 2013: OK, take a deep breath. This isn't about you -- not about your appearance, and not about your performance. Your relationship is normal. Sex 3x a day at the beginning is wonderful, but that never lasts, not for anyone. Five to six times a week is ... (read in full...)

My mother wants me to buy my own house

Q.   This is not a relationship question. As a young adult who has a BA degree and a stable career, would you recommend I put a down payment on a home and buy it or continue to rent? My mother tells me to buy a house so that I can own somethin...

A.   31 July 2013: Owning real estate has been good to me. But there's a time and a place for everything. When you're young, single and wanting to travel renting makes a whole bunch of sense. You can be gone for two weeks or a month and your apartment building will ... (read in full...)

Stuck in an unhappy marriage. What should I do?

Q.   Hi everyone, I've been married for over 15 years. For the most part it has been a good relationship. I've always been an easy going guy and not a lot rattles me, but over the course of the years I've really felt like I've taken it on the c...

A.   31 July 2013: I think going to counselling, even on your own, would be a useful thing for you to do. A skilled counsellor will help draw out a more extensive list of pros and cons than anyone here can on the basis of the couple of hundred words allowed for your ... (read in full...)

What is nervous porn?

Q.   Hi I'm in a six month relationship with a great guywho I recently saw has masses of nervous porn deleted from his pc in his recycle bin. He's 45 and I'm just wondering what this is? I haven't restored these files. Im worried because I have a teen ...

A.   29 July 2013: Your motivation for checking this out is commendable. Without knowing exactly how you raised the issue with him, I nonetheless have to say that his reaction is worrisome. You hit a nerve -- the question is whether he blew up because porn and ... (read in full...)

What are men's opinions on girls who watch porn?

Q.   what are men's opinions on girls who watch porn? Should we keep it to ourselves and lie to our bf/husband or fess up?...

A.   27 July 2013: I'd be fine that she watches it, and honoured that she shared the info.... (read in full...)

My best male friend has cut me out of his life after his wife got jealous

Q.   My male friend and I have been best friends ever since High School. We are both grown around our 30's now and we've been talking on the phone and emailing each other past years, I'am married with 2 kids and he just got married last year and a ...

A.   22 July 2013: You asked for guys' perspective, so I'll add one more. When I got married, I made a committment to my wife to put her first and foremost. No question. If I had a friendship that she couldn't live with, and if I couldn't reconcile the two, the... (read in full...)

She tells me I'm a wonderful boyfriend but she freaked when she found soft-core on my phone

Q.   My girlfriend ran into a porn website that I visited on my phone, and quickly got very angry and started mentioning that now she should go look for guys her age and fantasize about them having sex with her. I kept my mouth shut to keep the situation ...

A.   17 July 2013: I don't blame you for starting to feel angry. She's made her point -- continuing to harp on it is hardly productive. She clearly feels you committed a serious wrong. You understand how she feels, but at the same time you don't think it was that... (read in full...)

A new potential step parent vs a teenager

Q.   I need constructive advise about a situation that is bothering me. Im widowed 5 years now and have 3 kids (14, 11 and 10), I finally met the most amazing man and he proposed to me recently. A background on the guy, he is the type of guy that is a go ...

A.   17 July 2013: I read this question three or four hours ago and started pondering my response. As usual, the aunts jumped in while I was pondering, and with better answers than I have. To me the red flag here is how quickly your finance wants to move. And that... (read in full...)

Does my girlfriend's watching porn reflect badly on me?

Q.   Hi. I was helping my GF to get rid of laptop software problems. I told her there might be some malware on it and it hence needs to be scanned. She got a nervous about that and after digging deeper I found out she was watching some porn on the web ...

A.   14 July 2013: I don't think there's another single topic that has taken up more space on DC than this one. Do a search -- there's been a ton of fabulous insight shared. My take -- her reaction stemmed from attempting to discuss something that's very personal... (read in full...)

22 years later I still feel guilty!

Q.   22 years after my divorce, I still feel as though I let my children down and don't seem able to throw off that feeling which haunts me every day. The divorce was not totally my fault although I do bear some of the responsibility....

A.   14 July 2013: Honeypie has it exactly right. The only thing you can change is today. Even though your kids are older, you're still their father. Be the best father you can be, *today*. There is nothing less productive than worrying over things we did in the ... (read in full...)

Do you think it's possible for me and him to stay friends?

Q.   Hello everyone, so, here's my situation. I am 19, my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We were close friends, I mean, we attended at the same school for 8 years, I know him since when we were 3. After 5 years of not seeing each othe...

A.   13 July 2013: First, be completely honest with yourself. Are you certain that your motivation is solely, 100% to be friends? That you could see him fall in love with someone else, marry them, and be happy and supportive without any jealousy? If that's truly ... (read in full...)

My online guy is giving me the silent treatment

Q.   Hi, Guy’s I hope you can help. I met a guy online. We have been talking for two months now. He asked me if we could become exclusive since we got along so well. I said yes. We haven’t met yet because he lives long distance. I have asked hi...

A.   11 July 2013: Be grateful that he's ignoring you. Now is the perfect time to end the relationship. If he's angry and controlling on-line, just imagine how much worse it could be living together. Plus he's told you he has mental health issues. And he expects ... (read in full...)

Anyone else get cranky when they've been without for a while?

Q.   Out of curiosity, do any of you ever get cranky when you have not had sex in a while? I find that my irritability increases significantly, and I feel like a volcano that's about to explode!...

A.   10 July 2013: Been there. Have the T-shirt.... (read in full...)

Married man dumped me and I am feeling so used and stupid!!

Q.   I had a fling with a married man. I posted here not long ago but I think my question reached a max with 27 answers because I tried to post a follow up and the site would not allow me. This is my follow up. You can say I TOLD YOU SO and I had it ...

A.   9 July 2013: I really didn't think I had anything to contribute here until your "dream come true" comment. Sorry to burst your bubble, but if I were ever tempted, all I have to do is think back to "Fatal Attraction." http://ww... (read in full...)

*. Grant's friends

These are mutual friends, so *. Grant has added them and they have added *. Grant!

*problems* agony aunt*problems*
Abella agony auntAbella
angelDlite agony auntangelDlite
AskEve agony auntAskEve
Aunty Babbit agony auntAunty Babbit
Aunty Honest agony auntAunty Honest
Blonde68 agony auntBlonde68
bluecow agony auntbluecow
Brooklyngirl agony auntBrooklyngirl
Brunel agony auntBrunel
bubble15 agony auntbubble15
Carrot2000 agony auntCarrot2000
cat lady agony auntcat lady
celtic_tiger agony auntceltic_tiger
chickpea2011 agony auntchickpea2011
Ciar agony auntCiar
CindyCares agony auntCindyCares
Danielepew agony auntDanielepew
DenimandLace44 agony auntDenimandLace44
dirtball agony auntdirtball
DoubleM agony auntDoubleM
EmilyBee agony auntEmilyBee
Honeypie agony auntHoneypie
ImmortalPrincess agony auntImmortalPrincess
Irish49 agony auntIrish49
janniepeg agony auntjanniepeg
lerato29 agony auntlerato29
Lexie88 agony auntLexie88
loops agony auntloops
maxxie agony auntmaxxie
MonksDaBomb agony auntMonksDaBomb
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
nothing.lasts.and.nothing's.lost agony auntnothing.lasts.and.nothing's.lost
Odds agony auntOdds
Plexi agony auntPlexi
Polaroid93 agony auntPolaroid93
QZ agony auntQZ
silenced agony auntsilenced
Sincerely Yours agony auntSincerely Yours
studentForLife agony auntstudentForLife
tennisstar88 agony aunttennisstar88
The Realist agony auntThe Realist
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1
VocalsAndRhythmGuitarist agony auntVocalsAndRhythmGuitarist
Waves agony auntWaves
xanthic agony auntxanthic

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.140673899993999!