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My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.
Q. I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...
A. 27 May 2010: Go, Jt, Go!... (read in full...)
My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.
Q. I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...
A. 27 May 2010: Yay! Hooray for Jt! Glad to hear you feel the duckies are all in a row in this. Hopefully, you'll consider checking in periodically and updating us on how things progress. I wish you the absolute best of luck going forward, yay for you!... (read in full...)
My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.
Q. I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...
A. 26 May 2010: The bail is probably less if he caught them together. Imagine if SHE had caught both guys together? Now there's a spin on this you didn't think of Q, you old codger.... (read in full...)
Should I be content to be the mistress?
Q. I am having an affair with a married man for 5 months now. He is older than me and has 3 children. I work with him for about an hour twice a day. We knew each other for over a year before anything happened. It started out as a bit of fun but ...
A. 25 May 2010: Vintage took the words right out of my mouth, so to speak.
This whole thing you've described is an ABOMINATION. This guy is a liar and a cheat and if he's going to do this to the mother of his three children what makes you think you're exempt? ... (read in full...)
Did God mean for us to be together despite his current relationship?
Q. I am curious if those of faith believe that God can make a mistake in bringing two people together? I have been getting to know a man for the past 10 weeks and we are becoming very close. We are both incredibly devout Christians and are sensing that ...
A. 25 May 2010: Well, if you're both genuinely devout Christians you wouldn't be overlooking that little snippet about thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (husband). To my knowledge, claiming to be devoutly religious and then living like hell is by definition ... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 25 May 2010: Thank you. And yes, I've traveled quite extensively. Lived in Europe for 8 yrs. Visited much of the UK, as well. My absolute best friend on the planet, rest her soul, was from Cambridge. I am no stranger to various cultures, but fiercely red-blooded ... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 25 May 2010: Thank you. And yes, I've traveled quite extensively. Lived in Europe for 8 yrs. Visited much of the UK, as well. My absolute best friend on the planet, rest her soul, was from Cambridge. I am no stranger to various cultures, but fiercely red-blooded ... (read in full...)
Should I move out to be with my boyfriend and go against my parents wishes?
Q. I turn 18 in a few months, and I am in love with my boyfriend, i would do anything for him. My parents don't want me to see him so for about the past year we have been secretly seeing each other, but its getting harder and harder as my parents don't ...
A. 25 May 2010: This is one of those really tough life choice things and I'm sure it won't be your last.
Let us look at the facts you've given here: You're 18 in a few months. You're legal after 18. You're a cognizant adult, responsible for yourself in all mann... (read in full...)
Attracted to my cousin, what do we do?
Q. im 20 years old and i have a cousin who is 21 and she's very attractive which i guess was the first thing i noticed about her and we weren't close at all, before all of this happened we had seen each other about 5 times in our whole life and we met ...
A. 25 May 2010: What you *should* do is refrain from going to family reunions, looking for a date.. we have a name for that here in the US...... (read in full...)
His ex can't let go and its making me insecure
Q. Ive been dating a man now for almost 7 months, we both have admitted to falling in love with one another...my problem is he was married before me for 10 yrs. and has been divorced for 3 yrs. already. Im having a hard time with a situation that keeps ...
A. 25 May 2010: The first thing that jumps out at me here is: are you SURE he's actually divorced?... (read in full...)
Phone sex and feeling self conscious about it
Q. Hey, well i just turned 18, also iv never had sex and the most iv done was making out. My boyfriend is alot more experience though becuase he has had sex and messed around before. We do sext though (not pictures but stories) and im ok at it but not ...
A. 25 May 2010: I think it is only natural to be self-conscious about sharing such a personal thing over the phone with anyone. I don't think endeavoring to be good at phone sex, sexting, cybering is really a good use of your time, energy or natural talent, ... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 25 May 2010: Tsk, tsk, just wouldn't be proper! One lump or two? Lemon square?... (read in full...)
If you're called a broad, does that mean you're fat?
Q. I know this has nothing to do with relationships but What does it mean when a someone calls you a 'Broad' does it mean you're fat? because one of my bf's classmate called me a broad.. ...
A. 25 May 2010: "broad" is an old and quite antiquated and more-than-tinged with disrespect term used to refer to and demean a woman. Usually, men of another era used it to refer to women in general. It was like referring to women as "dames" or "skirts". Sorta ... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 25 May 2010: Oh my! That's ranks right up there with "the queen wears combat boots!", q!... (read in full...)
"He dosen't know what I look like and he wants to meet"
Q. I have been chatting to a really nice guy on a dating site for a couple of months now. I have seen a picture of him but he doesn't know what I look like at all he wants us to meet up tomorrow night.I don't know what to do. What if he doesn't like ...
A. 25 May 2010: Unless you are a dead-ringer for Jabba-the-Hutt, whattaya got to lose? If you've been communicating with him for a couple of months, I'm left to assume that there's been something for the two of you to talk about, so talk to the guy. Don't sweat the ... (read in full...)
He dropped me like a bad habit, what should I do?
Q. We were together for 4 months. The time we spent together was fun and very passionate. He would tell me he cared about me and was scared of being in a relationship because he still had things in his life to figure out. I fell for him. We took a week ...
A. 25 May 2010: I think if you wait for this guy to figure things out on his own, you're going to be long retired and safely installed in a skilled nursing facility long before he does. Move along, honey, nothing to see here. This guy doesn't have his head and ... (read in full...)
"Ghosts"
Q. "OPs own title" since I was a kid I could see dead ghost or spirits and I could see the future at random as long as I can remember I m now 15 and I have seen thousands of docters and they all say nothing is wrong with me but why do I still see these ...
A. 25 May 2010: I have a strong hunch that you need more help than we can give here, Sweetie.... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 25 May 2010: School Girl Crush?... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 25 May 2010: Ummmm... what's an "SGC"?... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 25 May 2010: Judge? Judge what? A fruit loop is a fruit loop in ANY culture!... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 25 May 2010: Yup, that's us, just a bunch of heathens over here in the good ol' USA. No subtlety, whatsoever. What makes you think that we have any time to waste on subtlety, anyway? Some of us work at keeping it REAL. Genteel, well-heeled subtlety, we leave ... (read in full...)
Premature Ejaculation and Weak Erection, Help!
Q. I am 22 and have been with my bf for 3 years .My problem is when we have sex he ejaculates too soon,he has a weak erection and most of the time i don't feel him at all.At first i thought it was because we were each other first sexual partners and ...
A. 25 May 2010: Well if that don't beat all! Talk about breakin' it down to the bare metal, q's gone and done it again! Rusty chain saw........ (read in full...)
Premature Ejaculation and Weak Erection, Help!
Q. I am 22 and have been with my bf for 3 years .My problem is when we have sex he ejaculates too soon,he has a weak erection and most of the time i don't feel him at all.At first i thought it was because we were each other first sexual partners and ...
A. 25 May 2010: So, like, what's up with this whole wind sock effect, anyway?... (read in full...)
How to talk to a guy who knows you have a crush
Q. After being introduced to a new group of people I found myself thinking about this guy all the time, I worked with him and his group for a week however stayed good friends. I really liked him but I didn't let on and we exchanged emails for a long ...
A. 25 May 2010: First off- breach of confidence is a serious offense between friends and once is too often. Your friend, isn't. Since we all know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, you've just learned this pricey lesson. Her breach of your ... (read in full...)
Premature Ejaculation and Weak Erection, Help!
Q. I am 22 and have been with my bf for 3 years .My problem is when we have sex he ejaculates too soon,he has a weak erection and most of the time i don't feel him at all.At first i thought it was because we were each other first sexual partners and ...
A. 25 May 2010: Great, mind-blowing sex is a two-way street. It's rarely a one-sided event wherein you just experience it and inflict little or nothing in return. You must *learn* what makes sex mind-blowing for you and him, both. Learn your partner and learn him ... (read in full...)
Should I send these photos to my ex as a nice gesture now that we are talking again?
Q. My ex and i were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the break up..no one cheated..i think we did really love each other..it was petty stuff that i think we can get over from just learning from mistakes etc..i know what ...
A. 25 May 2010: Sounds rather thoughtful and nice of you, I think. Nothing wrong with a harmless nudge in the right direction, girl. Provided you're being sincere and are only offering a couple of quasi-cute, pleasant reminders of what used to be. I see no harm ... (read in full...)
Is my relationship fading, or am I overthinking the situation? Please help!
Q. I'm so desperate, I really need help. I have been dating my bf off and on for about 2 years. Last year we decided to make it into a relationship. But this is my problem, I'm not sure if he still wants to be with me. When I ask him, he neve...
A. 25 May 2010: Sister, this is that dreaded Man Code for: doesn't really give a damn, you're nagging me like you're the old ball n' chain.
What, exactly are you afraid of losing here? Him? You've listed nothing here that convinces me of what he does for you.... (read in full...)
I am gay, he is straight, should I tell him how I feel?
Q. I'm a 15 year old guy and I'm gay. I've always known that so that isn't the issue. I've been having REALLY strong feelings for another guy, but he's straight. I don't know if it's love (I doubt it) but they're strong enough feelings to make me ...
A. 25 May 2010: I'd like to try to help you, but honestly, I am completely unqualified to dispense advice on gay relationships, being a life long heterosexual. What I will offer you is: if you already know he's straight, are you sure it'd be a good idea to put ... (read in full...)
My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.
Q. I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...
A. 25 May 2010: Thanks for the courtesy of the update, Jt. There's no harm in hearing what she has to say, but I urge you to make a solid point, based completely in rational logic: If what's-his-name *must* be included in your future,as she's already made clear ... (read in full...)
How to handle a childhood crush
Q. Please help! I’m a 54 yrs old male and just heard my granddaughter's aunt who's only 15 say to me, I love you! and I know she's not talking about love in the general sense. ...
A. 25 May 2010: OMG! q!...plywood indeed....... (read in full...)
Job interview help needed!
Q. I have a job interview tomorrow for the position of a receptionist. I really need a job cos I'm just out of school and this one is perfect for me. I will be devastated if I don't get it. Only thing is, I have no experience in this field of work. Or ...
A. 25 May 2010: First: dress for the part! Make sure you're dressed properly for the environment.
Second: Don't be afraid to say that you have no experience but add that you're willing to LEARN. If you're a quick learner, tell them that, too. Then be sure to do i... (read in full...)
How to handle a childhood crush
Q. Please help! I’m a 54 yrs old male and just heard my granddaughter's aunt who's only 15 say to me, I love you! and I know she's not talking about love in the general sense. ...
A. 24 May 2010: Ok, easy...15. there's your first clue. ANYTHING is liable to fall out of a 15 yro child's mouth. Positively anything. If she told you the sky was blue, I suggest you walk outside and have a look. Your 54 makes her 15 WAY off limits, my friend. ... (read in full...)
Looking at an escort site and my girlfriend found out...what should I do?
Q. Where do I start I have been seeing my partner of a year I'm 41 she is 42 we both have kids everything was amazing till I very stupidly one night I was waiting on here to return from work and I used her pc I was fed up been working since 5 am was ...
A. 24 May 2010: It's sort of a smoking gun, situation, isn't it? There's the body of evidence, you're holding the proverbial smoking gun, insisting that you had no intentions of doing the deed, but what's it look like, my friend? Something of a catch-22, so this ... (read in full...)
"I want to blow his mind"
Q. I have known this guy since September. We met online and only chatted up until about 2 weeks ago. Well, a few days after we met, I went to his apartment to watch a movie, and things got carried away. We didn't talk about what happened, until ...
A. 24 May 2010: The answer to your question lies within learning him. You have to "learn" what he likes, what really trips his trigger and what doesn't. This is usually accomplished via time and experience and paying attention. Since there's a distinct shortage ... (read in full...)
I really don't know whether to believe my exes promises and try to give him another chance, or just carry on the way I am, and move on? I'm confused!
Q. for starters this will be long, so please bear with me... ok, i met my ex on the internet in july '07, we spoke so much to the point that i asked if he wanted to meet up, so we met up mid aug '07, a few days later started going out, it grew more and...
A. 24 May 2010: Well, you've thoroughly convinced me of why you should move on. I'd say the water is far too muddy now to wait around hoping that it will clear. Move on, but learn from your mistakes when you do! Cheat on NO ONE. There is NEVER a good reason for ... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 24 May 2010: Ok, really now. This begins to remind me of the cut in the roof of your mouth that would heal if you'd just leave it alone.
There IS a phenomenon called the Laws of Probability or the Oracle of Numbers. Call it coincidence or serendipity, or w... (read in full...)
He takes me forgranted but wants to marry him! I'm confused!
Q. my 5 yrs bf doesnt giv me any time, he is alws bz with his jo or band. we meet only once a week n that leads to sex in his apt. now a days he calls me only once a day. but he is also pushing me to get married. but he alws takes me for granted , nvr ...
A. 23 May 2010: 1. If he takes you for granted now, what is there to say that'll change after you're married?
2. If you're not included in his hobbies, or whatever, now, see above.
Getting married *may* alter the seeing eachother thing, but I'd bet heavily ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend desire my sister?
Q. I am really confused and upset at recent events with my partner of 16 years. I am 37 he is 45. We have had a great relationship and people often tell me how nice my partner is and how much he loves me. He is a big man and is thoughtful and takes ...
A. 23 May 2010: All that really matters here is how YOU feel in this. I shall stick to my guns on this. The Laws of Probability are *very* predictable. If you believe him and it's all good to you, then that is your prerogative. I, however, agree with Cindy in ... (read in full...)
My heart says to meet with her and discuss it, my head says run for the hills.
Q. I have been dating a lady for about nine months, and we both agreed at the outset that this would be an exclusive relationship. I am just out of a marriage that lasted 26 years, and she has been divorced for 2 years after a marriage of 30 years. ...
A. 22 May 2010: I fear I must be consistent and say the same to a man that I frequently say to women. If it's what your gut is telling you, LISTEN TO IT!
I'm sure you've heard of those couples who split and then meet up for sexual purposes due to established fami... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend desire my sister?
Q. I am really confused and upset at recent events with my partner of 16 years. I am 37 he is 45. We have had a great relationship and people often tell me how nice my partner is and how much he loves me. He is a big man and is thoughtful and takes ...
A. 22 May 2010: Upon further thought and having consulted a few married male friends, the consensus is a resounding: The deed has already been done, you just don't know it yet.
I'm sorry but I must agree. He's already cheated on you, odds resounding that it'... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend desire my sister?
Q. I am really confused and upset at recent events with my partner of 16 years. I am 37 he is 45. We have had a great relationship and people often tell me how nice my partner is and how much he loves me. He is a big man and is thoughtful and takes ...
A. 22 May 2010: Sure thing.
Having read your update, I find the "good nite, baby" text a bit disturbing, honestly. You've heard the old adage: "Where there's smoke there's fire"?
There's some serious smoke signals here, I'm afraid. I wouldn't buy the oh it's har... (read in full...)
Why do I even like him anymore?
Q. Yesterday i told the guy i really, really, like to leave me the hell alone after i saw him all over his ex yesterday. He's all over her but still calls me and asks to hang out. I thought we were done but he keeps talking to me. I realized that i ...
A. 21 May 2010: These things have a tendency to hurt simply because it's an end. It's human nature to not enjoy anything ending. Babies grow up, people we know die, couples break up, or even something simple as a good movie ending. We just don't like things to ... (read in full...)
Am I missing something here with my boyfriend, wedding rings and man code???
Q. Been with my b/f 5 years and we've discussed marriage in the near future, like this summer. We're not planning a big wedding, in fact we want to just elope in Vegas, no frills. I've been looking at rings (nothing elaborate or extremely expensive) ...
A. 21 May 2010: Clue #1: Looking through my handy dandy Smart Girls' Guide to All That Man Code Crap it says: He doesn't give a damn. You're interpreting this as disappointment in his not being there , too. Men *hate* cool things like jewelry or bed linen ... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad at sex?
Q. Almost two years ago i had this boyfriend and he had sex with so many other women. his penis was slightly smaller than average(but i have had small guys before so no biggie) and everytime we had sex he always complained about something. like when i ...
A. 21 May 2010: Honestly, sweetie, I don't think this about you. I think this is a HIM thing. ! What's correct is what feels good to you both. There is no "right" way. It's what feels right to both of you. Some guys say they have all these conquests to their... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend desire my sister?
Q. I am really confused and upset at recent events with my partner of 16 years. I am 37 he is 45. We have had a great relationship and people often tell me how nice my partner is and how much he loves me. He is a big man and is thoughtful and takes ...
A. 21 May 2010: My thoughts, in a word? POLYGAMY. I think Mr. Partner thinks he has a reasonable chance of making things go 3 ways in your house. I'd also say this guy thinks you're pretty thick in the head, too. He's dropping massive hints like bomb shells all ... (read in full...)
Contacting her again has resurrected all of these old feelings...what should I do?
Q. I'm confused. Recently, an ex g/f came up as a "do you know this person" on my Friends Reunited page. She and I had a very loving realationship 30 yrs ago..the break up was hard on both of us. We were best friends before and during our r...
A. 20 May 2010: I must agree with Timm, he's right. 30 years was along time ago. Don't risk your current life and partner to a sweet old memory. You were both kids, leave it where it belongs. Those old feelings were a life time ago. They don't exist in the ... (read in full...)
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