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... Send *emused a private message | | | *emused's profile:Hi there.
I am a Canadian girl..originally from the beautiful province of Nova Scotia. I now live in Central Canada. I come from a military background and moved from place to place as a child and it shaped who I am. I have a challenging career which really keeps me down to earth and grounded. I really enjoy reading and responding to the questions on this site. |
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How do you know the difference between a relationship and casual sex?
Q. How many times should you sleep with someone before you know it is the real deal and not casual sex?...
A. 27 April 2008: Hi hun
Tough question to answer here with no cut and dry answers. I am a little old school in that I have found from personal and sometimes painful experience that if you build the good times, trust and communication before you sleep with someone ... (read in full...)
SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew
Q. Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...
A. 26 April 2008: Hi Andrew
The only problem might be that many of us would no longer be available as agony aunts as those tv and film offers would be coming in fast and furious :-)... (read in full...)
Constant stomach pain, Could it be serious?
Q. Hi! I'm concerned about a stomach pain i've had for about 3 weeks! It's similar to period pain but not as low down, and the pain started as 'the time of the month' was approaching. Anyway they finished over a week ago and still... i'm havin ...
A. 26 April 2008: Hun
Do not ask us. There may be some agony aunts in the medical profession who could give you input but get to your gp TODAY and let us know what the outcome was. I would think diet might have something to do with it.... (read in full...)
I feel terrible about the misunderstanding in rearranging for the date, is there anything I can do?
Q. Well this probably seems trivial to some people who are in pain due to rejection but this has made me feel quite sad. I met a man and had a date with him. It went really well and there was a definite connection and chemistry. It took a lot of pa...
A. 24 April 2008: Look up the words inconsiderate and selfish in the diciontary because that sums up this guys behaviour to me and you are beating yourself up over it. He treated you shoddily and with no consideration. Sounds like you were kind of wishing on a star, ... (read in full...)
How can I look and feel attractive with out make-up?
Q. I've worn make-up since i can remember, all day everyday, even on holiday. I don't feel comfortable without it on, the thing is, as you can imagine, my skins already becoming quite knackered out already, i have pinkish skin with dark freckles ...
A. 14 April 2008: Hi hun
Good advice from the other posters here about wearing less and less makeup each day and also some great products you could use. I know that many guys your age prefer the natural look..they are not big fans of their girlfriends having o... (read in full...)
10 yrs of marriage, two small children, now he says he's in love with a woman at work!!!
Q. My husband of 10 years says he now loves a woman he works with. He feels so ashamed but doesn't know whether he loves me or not. We have 2 children age 4 and 7 weeks. I'm torn apart...what to do?...
A. 14 April 2008: Hi hun
I agreed with the stressed247. This definitely something you do not need right now, paticulary with children in the formative years. You mention that he feels ashamed..that is the least he should feel and I am suspecting there is a lot of c... (read in full...)
I have to be whipped and shed blood for my country to consider me a "woman". I'm scared!
Q. In my country a girl must be whipped and shed blood for there to be a good harvest. If we flinch we dissapoint our clan. We then also aren't considered women... just girls. If I succeed I get a husbund. But I'm scared. Do you have advice?...
A. 13 April 2008: Hi hun
Au unusual quesion here with no clear cut answers. I learned a long tme ago that there hundreds of different cultures in the world and with that many differetnt attitudes and ways of seeing thingg. Your culture has a clear cut ritual f... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself from calling my "nasty" exes? I'm weak when it comes to love...
Q. I was seein a couple of lads a while back (not at the same time!!!) who were nasty to me so I ended it. When it comes to love and stuff, Im very weak - always giving in, chasing them etc. But on this occasion, I have cut all contact for which I am ...
A. 12 April 2008: Hi Hun
I think you are on the right path here. I think the reason you are thinking about wanting to conatact them again is because you are flexing your assertivness muscles and that may be new for you. If you hang in there and do not call , not ca... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents we are back together? They don't like him!
Q. ive had this boyfriend for almost two years and we been going out on and off.last time he broke up with me he hurt me really bad and my parents dont like him no more for that but the thing is that now i am going back out with him and i dont know if ...
A. 12 April 2008: Hi Hun
This is a tough place to be at when youre at the age you are. I would guess that your parents do not like him because they love you and saw the tears and the pain he caused you last time. They do not want history to repeat itself and for ... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be husband is cheating on me, what should I do?
Q. I'm due to get married soon , but have just found out that my future husband has join a singles web site, and has give out his phone number, and is now having sex txt with this woman,she has also sent him dirty pictures. what should i do ....
A. 12 April 2008: Hi hun
I am in agreement with the other posters here in that all I am seeing is future pain for you here. I would suspect that you have that 'uneasy' feeling that people get when their intuition tells them that something is wrong... painful ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to seduce her (the wife of my best friend) at the earliest?
Q. I am in love with wife of my best friend. She have two kids.I alwayes thinking about her.Ocasionally she touched me in normal maner.she hold my hand while she joking with me.Even she wanted to dance with me during valentine party in presence of her ...
A. 2 April 2008: Oh boy...you know what we are all going to say to you.... I could be flying blind here as according to the flag on your post..well, could there be a cultural thing I am missing here. No where in your post do I get any sense that you feel that your ... (read in full...)
Crush on a teacher gone way too far!
Q. I hope someone can get their head round this because I cant! So i've known this guy for years, he's 23 years older than me, he was my teacher years ago, we had a business together and we've spent so much time chatting over the years - He was m...
A. 2 April 2008: I could say what you want to hear..you are going to leave your husband and connect with this guy who you believe to be the love of your life but it does not sound solid...or true somehow. Your husband, whom you only mention in a fleeting way I ... (read in full...)
He says money is hard earned so he is not squandering it, only such lifestyle to me is boring! Could I change him?
Q. I met this man when my 22 year marriage hit the rock. He helps me to go through the divorce. We've been together for a year now. Im 45 and he is 18 years older than me. This new man is very stingy with money. He has got a house and a car and ...
A. 8 March 2008: This is a question to which I can personally relate. It was a deal breaker for me in a previous relationship. I made excellent money and have a steady career. I am responsible with money and invest and have mutual funds ect but I do enjoy the finer ... (read in full...)
Why am I feeling so low?
Q. at the moment i have been feeling so low. i have friends but i dont want to be near them and i feel really distant from everybody in general. i dont want to get close to anyone and the littlest things upset me. i am 14 years old and this has been...
A. 24 February 2008: Hi hun
Reach out for help now hun. Sounds like you are confused and embarressed by these feelings and you should not be. I spend my working days with people in your age group and this is sooooo common...you are not alone here. Depression can snea... (read in full...)
She is still not over her ex
Q. I met this girl about 5 months ago over the net we got on great from the moment we started talking, but when it came time for our actual meet she went all quiet and i didnt see her or speak with her for a couple of weeks, finally she came back and ...
A. 24 February 2008: A couple of things struck me as I read your post. You have put all your eggs in one basket with a girl who does not, at this time know what she wants. Why is she acting this way? It might be that she is still in contact with and seeing her ex and ... (read in full...)
No reply from my affair since Valentine's, why?
Q. hi all ive been with my husband for 13 years we have children.the past year has been real tough for us as i asked for a seperation because i felt we had drifted apart. within this time while going out with friends i met a younger man than me 6 years ...
A. 23 February 2008: Sounds like you had a 'text affair'. The internet and cell phones have made it so easy for people to fall into this kind of thing. You mention you are separated from your husband and I am assuming you still are? You mention that you did not, after ... (read in full...)
Has my husband slept with this internet friend? Just how close are they?
Q. Hi, A few days ago I found out on my husband's e-mail that he is having an internet female friend. Going thru the mail he has talked to her about our 2 year old son, described himself and has asked her out for lunch. She sends him her personal...
A. 23 February 2008: Hi hun
As if life is not complicated enough...this is not good and hurtful to boot. The internet makes it so much easier for 'friends' to meet and talk...and yes things can move beyond friendship faster I think. I am assuming that he does not have... (read in full...)
Why do long term relationships end?
Q. Hello, Andy00 here. First, I want to suggest that nobody here answer this question if they think that they will just be opening up old wounds. Most of you know that my long distance relationship (2 years) disbanded (she dumped me) almost...
A. 22 February 2008: Andy.
Do you know how timely this question it. Songs, book and plays have been written on this very subject. The other posters here give thoughtful and courageous answers. The way I see it an intimate relationship is one of the most satisfyi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend of 5 years quite frequently accuses me of cheating because I don't always cum quick enough for her...
Q. My girlfriend of 5 years quite frequently accuses me of cheating because I don't always cum quick enough for her or if I don't want to have sex. We have a very satisfying relationship and are quite experimental. How can improve upon this situation ...
A. 22 February 2008: This does not sound like it is a cheating issue as much as a trust thing. You have been together five years and the va va boom goes out a little bit after that time and is replaced often with something more steady and caring. Sounds like that is ... (read in full...)
Why did he not get back to me about taking me out?
Q. hi guys!!!!!!!!! There is this guy at work who I know has had feelings for me in the past, the first time he had feelings for me I had a boyfriend so nothing ever came of it. The second time he had feelings for me I was totally oblivious until my...
A. 20 February 2008: I think I have come to believe that if you have to ask..yes he could be interested but his mixed signals have you confused...how much fun is that. He could be he is shy, a late bloomer, slow starter so to speak but he is putting you on a bit of a ... (read in full...)
Why did he not get back to me about taking me out?
Q. hi guys!!!!!!!!! There is this guy at work who I know has had feelings for me in the past, the first time he had feelings for me I had a boyfriend so nothing ever came of it. The second time he had feelings for me I was totally oblivious until my...
A. 20 February 2008: I think I have come to believe that if you have to ask..yes he could be interested but his mixed signals have you confused...how much fun is that. He could be he is shy, a late bloomer, slow starter so to speak but he is putting you on a bit of a ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my friends I can't help them out with their studies?
Q. I hope that the moderators still publish this, being that it's not a sexual love relationship. I am currently a Biological Sciences major at the University of Nebraska. Along with my biology courses, I must take chemistry. Chemistry at the...
A. 20 February 2008: I read one thing into your question loud anc clear dear...you need to be more assertive. Assertive means taking care of the things you need and setting boundaries if need be. You have established a pattern..a pattern where you are willing to bend a ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to Man up?!
Q. Is there a site where professional women can talk about their lives with blue-collar husbands? I heard something about that on 20/20 or something, but I really didn’t catch more detailed info. When I got married in my early 20s I was a junior a...
A. 19 February 2008: A tough complex question. You say you are in your late twenties and married ten years so was he your high school sweetie. You sound ambitious and that is good. It sounds as if you do not accept him as he is and people it is difficult for people to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to date other girls...is it because I am not over my ex??
Q. hey, My girlfriend broke up with me some time ago now (about 4 months) and it was extremely hard, we fell out even thought she said she wanted us to stay friends. We have recently started talking more and we are becoming friends again but i ...
A. 18 February 2008: Hi there.
In my opinion the fact you are not over your ex IS a reason why you are unsure about dating others. It is kind of a knee jerk reaction and a human one. It sounds too like you are wanting the right thing which is to move on from this...t... (read in full...)
I can't stand him looking at other girls! What do I do?
Q. I am married to a gorgeous guy much younger than me and we are basically very happy. I just need helpwith one thing...... he really stares at other women. I've talked to him about it and he reassures me how muchhe loves me and says he finds it ...
A. 18 February 2008: I agree with the other posters than men are visual and I also think it does not mean a lot when they are partnered and give other women the once over. Men do seem to notice women who are fun and engaged with life...not just drop dead gorgeous and ... (read in full...)
She dumped me as she still has feelings for her ex...
Q. dear cupid I am at the moment confused, I was going out with a girl for one week where she dumped me and said she still has feeling for her ex, tell my mates that she won't go back to me... girls do you think if I talk to her when college opens pr...
A. 18 February 2008: Hi hun
I hate say it but....is that not just life!! You are in good company as this has happend to most of us. She obviously made an impression on you and she sounds like a decent person in that she leveled with you early on instead of playing ... (read in full...)
Site News: We hit another milestone :-)
Q. For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...
A. 18 February 2008: Andrew..
An unique and amazing site. Keep up the good work. These stats prove it...the site is fullfilling a need and is so easy to use and navigate
Congrats.
Bemused... (read in full...)
My partners (since my ex) are all boring in bed, will I ever discover good sex again? What's wrong with me?
Q. With my ex, I had incredible mind-blowing sex. It was really amazing. I never had sex like that before her and never again since. However, the rest of the relationship was terrible and we ended up breaking up. The trouble is that I've been with a...
A. 17 February 2008: I do not think anything is wrong with you but from what you say in your post it would seem that you are attracted to fireworks and things that may not make a compatible relationship but do contribute to the great sex.
Did you do a hit and run ... (read in full...)
After my depression, my libido has decreased. I want to enjoy sex again.
Q. My sex drive has gone to zero...! I no longer get aroused. I used to be very sexual, only a kiss got me going. But last year I got depressed, I was depressed for like 2 months, and my sex drive was obviously nonexistant. Then I got better and i...
A. 17 February 2008: Depression is called the common cold of mental illness...seems that most people are in the grasp of it at least once. You are right...you are too young for this to be a problem but do not judge yourself or be hard on yourself either...that is all ... (read in full...)
A husband who loves his wife doesn't say things like that to her right...?
Q. My husband and I got into an arguement last evening. He was having a beer during dinner and kept on commenting how good the beer tastes throughout dinner and after dinner. While then, I said to him that flowers are nice to give, especially if one ...
A. 17 February 2008: Hi hun.
I read your post three times to get a sense of what could have happened here. It looks like a combination of things set this confrontation off. The question you asked concerned if this is the action of a loving husband.
First things ... (read in full...)
My gf calls my best friend "hun," is that a form of flirting?
Q. hey just want to know what you guys think, i just got back, i was away from my gf for a year and 4 months; i was reading some of her msgs and that's when i seen msgs of her calling my friend hun, for example "hun dont worry about it" - would u say ...
A. 7 February 2008: I note you are from Canada. Is your girlfriend from the maritme provinces?In Nova Scotia, Newfoundland and Prince Edward Island this is a standard greeting for everyone...so I would not read too much into it.... (read in full...)
Homeless poor and pregant...should I try and make it alone??
Q. I am 21 and have been in a long term on off relationship with a 29 year old for 3 years. We have broken it off many times but always end up going back or sleeping together. Unfortunately the last time we slept together i fell pregnant. He told my ...
A. 4 February 2008: Hi hun
You are experiencing extreme stress right now. I guess it is like the low point. I agree with the other two posters here. Stay away from the father of your child. He has caused you heartache and stress and you kept going back because ... (read in full...)
I'm set to be sworn in as a member on the Canadian Army, but yesterday I got fined for underaged drinking, will they still let me join?
Q. Hey, this isn't a relationship question, but I'm quite curious anyways and hoping someone can answer it. I'm set to be sworn in as a member on the Canadian Army Thursday, but yesterday I got fined for underaged dirnking, and this is the second ti...
A. 2 February 2008: I checked the National Defense website for you. I could not find anything SPECIFIC about a criminal record being an issue. That is not to day it would not factor in...I could not find info the contrary. It did say you had to be free of judicial ... (read in full...)
I'm undecided - should I give in to my brother's urges and have sex with him?
Q. My brother trying to seduce me. He's been trying for a long time, from time to time he was making a move on me, but now I think he's serious. When we were in early teens (13-15) we already had a kind of sexual relationship with him - we've been tou...
A. 31 January 2008: This sounds like an episode of somebody's favorite soap. Come on hun...get yourself into the real world here. Exercise some self care and self respect here. You know what you should do...you do not need all of us to verify it.... (read in full...)
Does my teacher have feelings for me?
Q. I've fancied this teacher at my school for 3 years, i've recently realised that I think i'm in love with him. Lately he's been making innuendo's that he may have feelings for me too. When i'm around him he constantly stares at me, and when I look a...
A. 29 January 2008: I am a teacher. This is not what you are going to want to hear...but leave this alone. I know that we are experiencing a shortage of guys going into teaching because of situations like this. They are paranoid of being pulled up on charges because of ... (read in full...)
I'm so happy with my married guy...but love my bf and am not sure he would leave his wife.
Q. I have been having a casual sex relationship with someone I work with; he is married and I have a bf. He had been cheated on in the past by his wife, and there are still problems. He just isn't happy with her. He and I started messing around o...
A. 24 January 2008: I agree with the other two posters here. What started off as denial on your part...just friends no emotional involvement ect ect has now worn thin and you are facing the pain this will cause perhaps sooner rather than later. I believe the pain would ... (read in full...)
My husband told me to sleep with another man, I have and liked it,will we have problems?
Q. my husband, of two years,. has given me permission to have sex with other men. i did not ask him for this, he just told me it was ok one day while we were raking the yard (why, when we were raking the yard...wouldn't bed be a better place...but ...
A. 16 January 2008: This is surely one of the more interesting posts I have read. Within the confines of a traditional monogamous relationship this steps well over the boundaries to most peoples thinking. It sounds to me as if your husband is either doubting is ability ... (read in full...)
Does the fact that my cd made her cry mean my ex isn't over me??
Q. My ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago. She's been with someone else for about 3 weeks and last night I gave her a compilation cd i made. I asked her if she'd listened and she txt back and said some of the songs made her cry. Do...
A. 13 January 2008: Sounds like her words say one thing and her actions something very different indeed. I agree with the other posters that it sounds like there is something there still.
Perhaps time and space is what she needs...yes. She is currently seeing some... (read in full...)
I am losing weight but worried I am becoming bulimic, please help.
Q. I have been trying to lose weight for two years now and i have been successful but the problem is i think i am becoming bulimic... Last month i let my self loose and got rid of it..but as soon as i started to watch out for my weight i started ...
A. 13 January 2008: Hi sweetie
The post from Mandy is excellent and tells it all. You are focused on your weight...it preoccupies you and the rest of life seems unimportant. That thinking process leads right into bulumia and anorexia. Neither of these are a walk in ... (read in full...)
I feel low, and hurt, and very very lonely. And I don't know what to do to get out this rut. Help me..
Q. My boyfriend has just dumped me after several months of treating me like dirt on his shoe, this is only my own conclusion after a lot of talking to friends, until now I believed greatly the whole problems in the relationship, and the reason for the ...
A. 8 January 2008: You are sounding better but go easy on yourself too. You will still have good days and bad days. Hang in there and keep us posted.... (read in full...)
I feel low, and hurt, and very very lonely. And I don't know what to do to get out this rut. Help me..
Q. My boyfriend has just dumped me after several months of treating me like dirt on his shoe, this is only my own conclusion after a lot of talking to friends, until now I believed greatly the whole problems in the relationship, and the reason for the ...
A. 6 January 2008: Wise and solid advice from the other posters here. Sounds to me like you are introspective, sensitive and hard on yourself. People such as yourself are treasures in the world, there are not enough of them but as stated in another post here other ... (read in full...)
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