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*emused

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Hi there.

I am a Canadian girl..originally from the beautiful province of Nova Scotia. I now live in Central Canada. I come from a military background and moved from place to place as a child and it shaped who I am. I have a challenging career which really keeps me down to earth and grounded. I really enjoy reading and responding to the questions on this site.

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How can I make my LDR less painful for the times when we are apart?

Q.   I just got back from a month staying with my boyfriend overseas (we're in a strong, loving LDR, it's been two years now) and of course I'm feeling pretty emotional and depressed. I know I'll be okay without him, because I've done it before and I'm ...

A.   1 August 2008: Well....I stand corrected. You guys sound pretty committed. Hang in there. It seems there are a lot of couples in your age range going through this. Good luck hun!... (read in full...)

How can I make my LDR less painful for the times when we are apart?

Q.   I just got back from a month staying with my boyfriend overseas (we're in a strong, loving LDR, it's been two years now) and of course I'm feeling pretty emotional and depressed. I know I'll be okay without him, because I've done it before and I'm ...

A.   1 August 2008: Hi hun As I read your post the thing that struck me that you are missing in your life right now is balance. You are astute enough to see that you have perhaps over focused on your relationship because other things in your life are not going that... (read in full...)

I may have developed feelings for my boss who is flirty and has a girlfriend!

Q.   I am 18 and have recently started working in a bar. My boss is very flirty and keeps making suggestive remarks. However he is in his 40's and has a girlfriend. I'm not sure if he is just being friendly or is like this with everyone else, he doesn...

A.   31 July 2008: Hi sweets Hmmmm.....funny thing about bars. I think the atmosphere when you work in one...any many of us have..kind of jumpstarts attraction. I think the fact alcohol is involved factors in. If you boss is making suggestive remarks and is in a ... (read in full...)

I love a man who is still married, but separated for 10 years, his wife will not sign divorce papers, I want to marry him, what should I do?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am a 24 year old lady that has been dating a special man for over two years. A month ago, I found out that he was still married to his "ex-wife" but they have been separated for ten years. She has moved on to someone else and had ...

A.   30 July 2008: Hi hun Something troubling here. You mention you have been with this man for two years now. This is something pretty major that he omitted...do you not think..the fact he was married. Not a good start to my way of thinking..obviously not a lot of i... (read in full...)

Knowing she has had one night stands makes me wonder if the rumours about her cheating on me are true...

Q.   i have been going out with my g/f for 7 months now. I love her to bits and am thinking of proposing to her. We communicate really well and one day she told me how many one night stands shes had and how many partners she's had. I even know some of ...

A.   29 July 2008: Hi there. Bit of a double standard at play here I think. If your girlfriend had some one night stands before she met you, that is her business and you should not judge her on it. How did the conversation come up with your 'buddy' that she had chea... (read in full...)

We met online, he just told me he loved me, we're going to meet up soon. But will it work?

Q.   i met this guy on habbo about 2 and half years ago now. We started speaking on msn then too. Now he's the same age as me. And i have developed strong feeling over the past years or so and the other day he was tipsy and he said 'sorry i'm a little ...

A.   29 July 2008: Hi hun When I answer this quesion...I am considering your age here. In my eyes, you are so young to be tied down in a long distance relationship. To me, you are almost having to put all your eggs in one basket and overlook some of the great guys... (read in full...)

The word 'cousin' is keeping him apart from me, I've never felt love like this before!

Q.   I have fallen totally in love with my 1st cousin and he feels the same but he feels he cant move forward with me because of the word cousin,we have always had a special bond between us and have only just recently meet up at a relatives funeral after ...

A.   29 July 2008: Hi hun Interesting question. Before responding here I took a quick perusal of the internet which is what I suggest you do. In the States for example about half of the states permit it. In Canada, it is permitted I believe. Interesti... (read in full...)

Guys go for my friend and not for me. Why?????????

Q.   Ok so basically this is really getting me down and fed up. My best friend and i go out a lot together and meet people together, we are practically never apart socially. She is blonde and probably described as 'FIT' but not small featured or pr...

A.   25 July 2008: Hi hun Have you wondered what would happen if you were not always with her? I think you have gotten into a bit of a pattern when you are with her. You feel inferior, expect you will be overlooked by guys and send out those vibes as a result. Try... (read in full...)

I'm thinking of meeting up with an old flame, but we're both in relationships.

Q.   I have been in contact with an old boyfriend from high school via email and telephone over the last few months and he has made it clear he is interested in me and would like to meet up. i feel the same about him, he is a really sweet guy and i care ...

A.   24 July 2008: Hi hun I am on board with older sister here. If you see no happy future with your current relationship, then you should end it. You are young, after all with your whole life ahead. I would proceed carefully with this guy. He could be a player.... (read in full...)

How do I get out from under my married boyfriend and his wife? We all live together.

Q.   i am 35 with a6yr old son. I have been on and off living with my married boyfriend and his wife and kids. Earlier we moved in together it didint work he kept going back and forth. I was out of work and struggling to make ends meet so his wife ...

A.   23 July 2008: Wow..this is certainly one of the more challenging questions I have answered here. My dear....what are you thinking. Your post confuses me a bit because you seem articulate...you are, however sadly inarticulate in your way of approaching life..sorry ... (read in full...)

Will I ever get over this man?? Is it possible that something so wrong could be meant to be?

Q.   I feel like I'm going crazy. I had an affair with an amazing man and it ended 3 months ago for all the right reasons. The problem is I'm having problems getting over it - I can't stop thinking about him and I miss him so much I really do feel like ...

A.   23 July 2008: Hi hun You are not alone. This sad story happens so often. I hesitate to be judgemental because, from what I have seen people get into a vulnerable state and just throw caution to the wind...it may not be the moral high ground but is human...in leas... (read in full...)

He said he doesn't think I love him any more. How am I supposed to prove it to him?

Q.   Everything's been going great in my relationship (or so i thought)and me and my boyfriend haven't had an arguement in ages. i saw him on mon and everything was fine. we had a BBQ and he kept saying how happy he was and what a good day it was. then ...

A.   23 July 2008: Hi hun Tough situation for two reasons. You know something is wrong and the fact that your boyfriend has gone into his shell and will not talk to you is the second thing. For whatever reason he seems that he is pulling away from you right now. I... (read in full...)

He says he likes me and wants to date me, but keeps getting back together with his ex instead!

Q.   i like this guy but there have been problems and things that have come in the way, he was datin this girl for months then they broke up and he said i liked him as number 2 , then i was number 1 but after this he got back with his ex then they broke ...

A.   22 July 2008: Hi hun You deal with it be matching his behaviour. This guy is not making you a priority right now so I see no reason why you should keep extending yourself to him. He could be playing you and using this girl as a leverage point or maybe there rela... (read in full...)

If he said "I don't love you and I just want to be friends", is there any hope?

Q.   hi, is there still any hope in pursuing a relationship when a guy says he dun love u and jz want to be friends? we act like a couple and does everything a couple does including sex. i do feel smtg towards him and it hurts to noe that he feels nt...

A.   21 July 2008: Hi sweetie This is not a great situation to be in. I think sometimes that guys, especially younger guys fail to understand that for a girl, often our hearts and sex drives work together. This guy may like you, think you are a terrific person but ... (read in full...)

Does the withdrawal method work?

Q.   hi, does pulling out work when preventing pregnancy. We started with using condoms, but we usually finish a packet in a day and nowadays we don't bother using it, cause it kinda ruin the moment and we like to be spontenous and stuff. I was thinking...

A.   21 July 2008: Hi hun No..the withdrawel method is SO unreliable. Keep this up my dear and you WILL get pregnant, get an STD or both. I am in full agreement with Emilyanswers...do not have sex until you have seen a doctor and discussed the many birth control ... (read in full...)

Should I try and win her back, or respect her new boyfriend?

Q.   2 years ago I fell in love with the most amazing girl in the world. She moved to the other side of the country and has much as we wanted it to work, it couldn't. I started dating again but never felt the same way about anyone else. 6 Months ago we ...

A.   21 July 2008: I say...move on it if she says she loves you but exercise caution as well. Caution is never exciting in matters of the heart but it can save you grief. I guess you know this is not really a sure and steady thing? It has been a rocky situaton... (read in full...)

He sleeps separately from his wife and I've waited 2 years! Why won't he give me a time frame?

Q.   I've been in love with a man for 2 years who is married. He loves me very much, wants to marry me, and plans to move out of home. I believe him - don't think it's just another married man has an affair episode. He sleeps separately from his wife ...

A.   20 July 2008: Your'e welcome. And do not be too hard on yourself. No one seemed to judge you here hun...life just happens sometimes. We have, most of us been in your shoes or pretty similar shoes. Good luck and keep us posted.... (read in full...)

Was she seeing this guy before she broke up with me? How else did she move on so fast?

Q.   My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years split up with me then then just 6 weeks later she tells me she is dating someone new. Already! I can't help but think she was seeing this guy before she split up with me, or that she left me for him although she says she ...

A.   20 July 2008: Hi hun I am a little confused as you are posted as a female poster but mention the loss of your girlfriend to a guy. No problems...just wondering. A breakup can be traumatic and it can seem unreal when something that seems to established ... (read in full...)

He sleeps separately from his wife and I've waited 2 years! Why won't he give me a time frame?

Q.   I've been in love with a man for 2 years who is married. He loves me very much, wants to marry me, and plans to move out of home. I believe him - don't think it's just another married man has an affair episode. He sleeps separately from his wife ...

A.   20 July 2008: Hmmm....he says he sleeps separately from his wife. That is, you know a line used my many married people in affairs as is the 'separate lives' thing. You mention he is Catholic and has kids. I must be candid...this does not look real rosy to me. ... (read in full...)

Every lad thinks I'm ugly and its really getting me down. Will I ever find a boyfriend??

Q.   Ok, so Im 15 and every lad I know thinks Im ugly. Even the ones who, themselves never get girlfriends, call me ugly. It really, really gets me down. They dont count my personality or how well we get on for anything. I DO have a nice body and my ...

A.   12 July 2008: Awww....honey do not be so hard on yourself. I would bet my bottom dollar that you have your own kind of lovliness and somewhere out there you WILL meet someone who is going to like you for just who you are. You have probably been told that before ... (read in full...)

Every lad thinks I'm ugly and its really getting me down. Will I ever find a boyfriend??

Q.   Ok, so Im 15 and every lad I know thinks Im ugly. Even the ones who, themselves never get girlfriends, call me ugly. It really, really gets me down. They dont count my personality or how well we get on for anything. I DO have a nice body and my ...

A.   12 July 2008: Awww....honey do not be so hard on yourself. I would bet my bottom dollar that you have your own kind of lovliness and somewhere out there you WILL meet someone who is going to like you for just who you are. You have probably been told that before ... (read in full...)

I gave my teacher a letter explaining my feelings, but he has not opened it, I'm worried he won't...

Q.   I love my teacher, but he see's right through me. I think he knows to some extend I love him, yet he ignores me and doesn't act so friendly with me. He always acts friendly to others, and blanks me out. I don't know what to do anymore; because it ...

A.   11 July 2008: Hi hun I am a high school teacher. Are you aware that this man could lose his job is there was just a bit of gossip about this. Are you aware that his reputation could be tarnished forever. Are you aware that if rumors get out he better look at ... (read in full...)

I feel invisible as a sexual being...can our marriage survive??

Q.   Thanks for listening. This is really an awful question...But I have been struggling a long time with this and can't really ask friends or family. I am married to a lovely man for a few years now. And we have a child. We are both in our late thirtie...

A.   5 July 2008: Hi hun. You are articulate and authentic in this post. I must confess that it made me a bit weepy. It seems, sometimes in life that there is always something. In your case circumstances and timing have not worked out for you. You had to go down a pa... (read in full...)

After loosing my mom I was very hard on him and pushed him away... how do I get him back? Please!

Q.   I met this guy back in September and hit off pretty good. He helped me get back on my feet, encouraged me to go back to college for better employment. I moved away and ended up living with him to save money on rent n all. back in October, my mom ...

A.   24 June 2008: Hi hun It seems from what you say in your post that you are being pretty hard on yourself here. There would none of us, not a one who would be at their best after what you have been through. Perhaps this relationship was what you needed at the t... (read in full...)

She thinks I’m a perfect husband, I'm not, I can't help cheating on her. Please help!

Q.   I'm very deeply in love with my wife, but I have some issues. I can’t stop cheating. I have an addictive personality. Once I do something I like I continue to do. It’s crazy because my wife has the BEST SEX I have ever had in my life. There is noth...

A.   24 June 2008: Hi there. I read your post twice...just to try to get a sense of what is happening here, to you and to your marriage. I will put my two cents worth in as will the other aunts but I can say with conviction...get professional help now. I know there is ... (read in full...)

She thinks I’m a perfect husband, I'm not, I can't help cheating on her. Please help!

Q.   I'm very deeply in love with my wife, but I have some issues. I can’t stop cheating. I have an addictive personality. Once I do something I like I continue to do. It’s crazy because my wife has the BEST SEX I have ever had in my life. There is noth...

A.   24 June 2008: Hi there. I read your post twice...just to try to get a sense of what is happening here, to you and to your marriage. I will put my two cents worth in as will the other aunts but I can say with conviction...get professional help now. I know there is ... (read in full...)

Is it really possible to remain friends with an ex? I would value our friendship but wonder if he has accepted we can't go back to being lovers.

Q.   Hi everyone - I need your help again. My partner and I split up in February this year but the same thing happened last year and we got back together in September of that year (only to split again 6 months later). We didn't live together or anyt...

A.   14 June 2008: Hi Hun If he was texting you during your breakup and...somehow got your new mobile number...did you give it to him...I would say that he may be hoping for a reconciliation. That is not what you want..is it. Therefore in this case if he wants on... (read in full...)

Please help me, I'm still mourning my dog's death, I have exams and I'm not eating! I just feel that I don't care about anything.

Q.   Please help me. I feel like I have changed so much, and I dont expect anyone to put up with it, or even care. I dont understand it but recently I just have been feelin that I dont care about anything and I just cant be bothered. And thats not like ...

A.   29 May 2008: Hi hunny I am a high school teacher and wish all my students wrote as well as you. You are literate for your age. I think there could be a few things going on here. It is the end of the school year and I see a lot of stress with the students I work... (read in full...)

Can I date my child's teacher?

Q.   This isn't a totally serious question, and is somewhat tongue in cheek ;o) buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut... Went to my childs parents evening last night and quite liked one of his teachers! I picked up a bit of chemistry. Funnily enough, when me and my child...

A.   23 May 2008: Hi there. I know your question was tongue in cheek but it is a good one. There is no law that teachers cannot date their kids parents. It is not considered professional but...people are only human after all and it does happen. The problem is that,... (read in full...)

Can I date my child's teacher?

Q.   This isn't a totally serious question, and is somewhat tongue in cheek ;o) buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut... Went to my childs parents evening last night and quite liked one of his teachers! I picked up a bit of chemistry. Funnily enough, when me and my child...

A.   23 May 2008: Hello my dear. I am a high school teacher. Here is what I know. Most teachers federations(the union to which teachers belong) make it pretty clear that people in the teaching field are already vulnerable to so much and not to pursue anything... (read in full...)

If I lost her do to my shady sexual history, I'd be devastated! Should I reveal what I've done?

Q.   I've recently started a relationship with the most amazing woman I've ever met. Things are better than I could have ever imagined and have ever been with anyone else and I'm certain we are both deeply in love with each other. The problem is that ...

A.   13 May 2008: Hi there. Are the two of you close to the same age? Have either/ both of you been married? What struck me when I read your post was your admission that all the others were'meaningless' sexually driven affairs. If you have not been married and if e... (read in full...)

I loved her even though she was extremely cold and unresponsive! How can I get over this break up?

Q.   I'll cant promise I'll keep this short. I promise I wont ramble, however. Me and my long-distance girlfriend had been having problems making time to see eachother. She was also extremely cold, and completely a-sexual. She cited saving sexual ac...

A.   13 May 2008: Hi there. It is ok to have a long post. You are hurt and it can be cathartic to write it out. I can tell from the undertones of your post that I think you know this relationship has well and truly run it's course. She is still very much in the d... (read in full...)

I've trouble finding a boyfriend - what am I doing wrong?

Q.   I have the worst trouble finding a boyfriend. I am almost 21 and still single (yeah very pathetic hahaha!) I just want to know what I'm doing wrong. I can be shy but I'm not as shy as I used to be. Is there any fool proof ways to get a guy? And is...

A.   11 May 2008: Hi hun Two things stand out from your post. You do not seem relaxed about the whole thing and you also seem to think you are a lesser person because you do not have a boyfriend. You are young...21 and there should be no paticular urgenc... (read in full...)

Will having sex with this woman make me stop yearning for her, alleviate this sexual frustration so I can focus on my marriage?...

Q.   I'm getting concerned about my sexual feelings for my wife, as I've been strongly attracted to a very attractive and wholesome woman at work, and I came to learn she feels the same as me, and she is also married. There has been no sex between us a...

A.   11 May 2008: Hi there Good thoughtful advice from the other posters. Twirly mentions that it could go one way or the other...a full blow affair or an embarressing awkward encounter and Mandy mentions how you would feel if your wife was thinking this way abou... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't want to have sex anymore, is it time to move on?

Q.   I thought this was the perfect man for me. we were so in love when we got married. We made love several times a day. We loved to hang out together, talk for hours. We have not made love in a very long time.. almost a year. I constantly asked him ...

A.   11 May 2008: Hi hun You do not state the duration of your marriage. A decline after one or two years is different from a decline of say...twenty years. You also mention tough times but do not indicate what they are/were and the duration of them. Is this yo... (read in full...)

We are married and neglected by our spouses so we fell in love! What do we do?

Q.   Hi Everyone, Please help. I have been married for over 10 yrs. My best friend has been married for 19 yrs. We have just discovered that we are in love with each other. We both have children and spouses who neglect us. We have not slept together...

A.   4 May 2008: Hi hun. I just read the other responses here and there is sage and measured intelligence in what they are trying to tell you. This is one of the oldest predicaments in the world. I wonder if there were statistics which could tell what percentage of ... (read in full...)

I'm in love with a teacher, and another teahcer is flirting with me. Help me!

Q.   i feel i'm not alone anymore theres loads of people fancy's there teacher. well i'm also here so sai i do too but its really different!!!. its not jus one i love 1, i love 2!! soo anoyin but my first one was my form tutor! (charlie his name was) on ...

A.   3 May 2008: I really cannot tell if this is legit or not. I am a high school teacher and I get a monthly magazine and at the back are all the careers of mostly male but some female teachers which went belly up because of that line being crossed between teacher ... (read in full...)

Is it ok for a girl to ask a guy for sex?

Q.   What do guys think of girls who ask them for sex? I mean would they care if a girl initiated it on a second date? ...

A.   29 April 2008: In keeping with the age you post here..in my opinion there is nothing wrong with it at all. Long gone is the double standard where it was not ok. Quite frankly I would think most guys would be over the moon provided they liked you and found you ... (read in full...)

In love with my married teacher, and I'm going to tell him, will it work?

Q.   I'm 17 years old and I'm completely in love with my super-awesome chorus teacher who's 32 and married. I was planning on telling him the very last day I'd see him (I'm graduating soon), but I'm not anticipating any kind of reply or ...

A.   29 April 2008: I am a high school teacher and have seen a few crash and burns because of situations like this. Hun...run do not even walk away from this. All will be hurt...in one way or another.... (read in full...)

Does age matter for sex?

Q.   Last night I experienced the pleasure of deflowering a young lady aged 18.I felt 20 years younger!! We're mutually keen on having regular sexual intercourse from now on-particularly as neither of us has any ties. Does the age gap matter since our...

A.   27 April 2008: Oh boy. I am thinking that not everyone is going to be impressed by this but the girl is 18 and a consenting adult. This does sound odd. Most young women of 18 really do not have the interest or the need quite frankly to seek an older love ... (read in full...)

How do you know the difference between a relationship and casual sex?

Q.   How many times should you sleep with someone before you know it is the real deal and not casual sex?...

A.   27 April 2008: Hi hun Tough question to answer here with no cut and dry answers. I am a little old school in that I have found from personal and sometimes painful experience that if you build the good times, trust and communication before you sleep with someone ... (read in full...)

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