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... Send *.rye a private message | | | *.rye's profile:I am a scientist and engineer. I am therefore plagued by constant rational, logical thought. Often times people allow their emotions to take the driver's seat in what they say and do, and the decisions they make. I offer a perspective based on existing facts and events and expose the logic behind dramatic disguises. I am of the school of thought that says: if one can be brought back down to earth while in the midst of an emotional vortex, there exists a much higher probability of success for discovering the answers and most optimal pathway to solve one's specific life difficulties. Solid and efficient decisions can only be made when there is complete understanding and a thorough knowledge base of the situation at hand. |
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Why do people strive to fall in love?
Q. why do so many people strive to fall in love? whats the great thing about love? and what are the set backs? it doesnt really make any cents to me anymore....
A. 16 May 2009: Did you mean sense? Nice pun at any rate. I have a friend who is currently getting a PhD in philosophy. The concept of her thesis is romantic love; what is it, how do we define it, what are the requirements of definition, etc. What I found ... (read in full...)
Alex isn't serious, so should I date this other guy I am intensely attracted to?
Q. So here's the problem... I've been recently sort of been seeing this guy Alex, he's in the same college as i am and we get along really well, but both him and i don't wish to persue anything serious or committed anytime soon. Summer is comin...
A. 5 May 2009: To hell with it? Absolutely not! What I mean is test the water before you jump in, because you might actually not like the temperature. You and Jamie may have had a lot of chemistry, and maybe you still do, but there always run the possibility that ... (read in full...)
Alex isn't serious, so should I date this other guy I am intensely attracted to?
Q. So here's the problem... I've been recently sort of been seeing this guy Alex, he's in the same college as i am and we get along really well, but both him and i don't wish to persue anything serious or committed anytime soon. Summer is comin...
A. 5 May 2009: Being afraid to tell him already gives him control of your personal life, just to note. I wasn't meaning to poke at you. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was coming across as critical. You know, who knows? Play it out and see what happens, because ... (read in full...)
Alex isn't serious, so should I date this other guy I am intensely attracted to?
Q. So here's the problem... I've been recently sort of been seeing this guy Alex, he's in the same college as i am and we get along really well, but both him and i don't wish to persue anything serious or committed anytime soon. Summer is comin...
A. 5 May 2009: Why are you afraid to tell him? ... (read in full...)
Doggy style hurts bad!
Q. When me and my boyfriend have sex in every other position, but doggy style, it feels great. But as soon as we try it doggy style, it kills me and we end up having to switch positions. Is there somthing wrong with me?...
A. 5 May 2009: Every person is shaped differently and some things are more uncomfortable for some than for others because of this. That sexual position is my personal favorite, but missionary is quite uncomfortable for me. It's just the way I'm shaped and built. ... (read in full...)
Alex isn't serious, so should I date this other guy I am intensely attracted to?
Q. So here's the problem... I've been recently sort of been seeing this guy Alex, he's in the same college as i am and we get along really well, but both him and i don't wish to persue anything serious or committed anytime soon. Summer is comin...
A. 5 May 2009: Tell him what you are going to do. If he gets upset with you for it then you can either 1) cut whatever strings you have and pursue this other person, or 2) not pursue this other person. It's not as complicated as you think.... (read in full...)
This new guy is so special..but I don't feel like I deserve him!
Q. So i've been in toxic relationships for the past 2 years. Horrible controlling relationships with too much abuse that i put up with. Now that's it's been like 3 months since my last one and i have a new boyfriend. He's a great guy we started off as ...
A. 5 May 2009: You've got some soul searching to do. If you want find yourself in a solid, happy relationship with ANYONE, you've got to be able to enter it without so much emotional baggage. Build a trusting relationship with yourself first. Counseling would be ... (read in full...)
Will objectivism interfere with my relationships?
Q. Hello. I am a very strong Objectivist. I really beleive in it, and have an attitude of "If the world does not care, screw them" and "No people, no welfare, no emotions". I end up hating myself for loving/liking people and becoming attached to them, ...
A. 27 April 2009: Excuse my frankness, but a little maturity will go a long way for you. You are very young and have yet to experience the irony of reality and the many idiosyncrocies of the world. Here is a bit of advice: when you seek out advice from other's about ... (read in full...)
Mental illness/trust issues
Q. I am looking for advice on what to do about a relationship which seems to have become very complicated due to mental illness/trust issues. The main thing is that I love him a lot and it would have been 8 years together this year and to me it see...
A. 26 April 2009: I have to agree with the previous advice entry about the counseling. It never, ever hurts to get a third party perspective, particularly with a professional. There are a couple of possibilities I see: 1 - He is really suffering from these men... (read in full...)
Who's baby could it be?
Q. Got a situation.Met a girl who is married but seperated from her old man because he is in prison for beating on her.She just had a baby a few months back, he is like five months now.She got an order of protection..etc..I was his buddy long before he ...
A. 26 April 2009: A paternity test wouldn't be inappropriate.... (read in full...)
I love my teacher who now lives on the other side of the world, what do I do?
Q. Hey there, I'm 15 years of age and I'm in year 10, just for your information. Before I mustered the courage to research teacher and student relationships, I had no idea how common it was for a student to fall for a teacher and vice versa. I ...
A. 26 April 2009: Many people experience lost loves in their lifetimes; it's a fact of life. Consider seeing a counselor to help you get a better grasp on your feelings so you can begin to sort through them. Once you can understand fully what these feelings are and ... (read in full...)
Will objectivism interfere with my relationships?
Q. Hello. I am a very strong Objectivist. I really beleive in it, and have an attitude of "If the world does not care, screw them" and "No people, no welfare, no emotions". I end up hating myself for loving/liking people and becoming attached to them, ...
A. 26 April 2009: Being objective doesn't necessarily mean "If the world does not care, skrew them". It's a way of perceiving the world without allowing one's own feelings to be directly involved. It's about perceiving all the different ways an object, person or ... (read in full...)
A boy at school makes lewd expressions at me
Q. Hi I am extremely scared because this boy at my school keeps sending me looks like, he licks his lips whenever I look his way we used to be best buds like 3rd thru 8th grade grade and now I am in eleventh and he had changed school districts and came...
A. 26 April 2009: Confront him. Most people acting this way don't expect to be confronted by the person they're trying to intimidate (or react in another expected way). Go right up to him and tell him that you don't appreciate his lewd gestures and that he should ... (read in full...)
Tell me what can I do to protect myself from this narcissist who thinks he can manipulate me, my time and my emotions.
Q. I have gone through emotional and severe psychological abuse from this guy who manipulates me with court orders and officers who mitigates me using other women, who abandoned me and uses every weapon to push me to the edge of anguish. He disappea...
A. 18 April 2009: Get a lawyer - a good lawyer.... (read in full...)
My husband likes to watch me sleeping. Is this odd?
Q. ok its a little weird but i have been married 7 and 1/2 years and ever since i got married when i go to bed at night after i am asleep my husband will mess with me in my sleep and i will wake up and not say anything but just pretend like i am still ...
A. 17 April 2009: If he has intercourse with you while you are sleeping, that is considered rape. Just FYI. ... (read in full...)
We make out then he ignores me afterwards...
Q. The other night me and my boyfriend got pretty intimate, not sex or anything, but we came close. The thing is, he hasn't contacted me or answered my calls since. I think he's avoiding me and I'm upset because that's the most I've ever done with a ...
A. 17 April 2009: This anonymous male writer needs to keep such ugly opinions to himself. It is not a good way to give advice - don't listen to people who will carry such a judgmental tone. That's a very insecure position you're in, especially at your age. The tr... (read in full...)
I need advice, I'm pregnant after being raped!
Q. hi i am 14 and pregant i got pregant cause i was raped i dont know what to do i am scared please give me adivice i beg u ...
A. 17 April 2009: Listen to what these other people are saying because they are absolutely right. You MUST talk to an adult, ASAP - someone you trust that will help you find your way through this. You should also contact the police so this person who assaulted you ... (read in full...)
I dreamed of kissing my ex.. but it was weird
Q. So the dream starts with me looking in the mirror and my reflection tells me, "You will be very lonely when you are 32"... I sort of scoff at the mirror and go into my bedroom, and my Ex gf is laying on the bed in lingerie! We say nothing, I just ...
A. 17 April 2009: Actually this is pretty clear - I will give you a Jungian interpretation: The mirror is obviously you looking at yourself. The wetness in the kiss, and your thinking of oceans, indicates your unconscious which is trying to get in touch with you. ... (read in full...)
Could it be pregnancy???
Q. Hi, I was just wondering if anyone knew what it could be rather than telling me to go to a doctor, or if anyone else has experienced this: I had sex around 8 weeks ago so I don't think I'm pregnant and, what I think has been my period has come twi...
A. 17 April 2009: Sometimes your period can be irregular at times (It's not always an age thing - I'm almost 30 and it happens to me too). When I start feeling those symptoms coming on a little early though, I just brace myself for a very heavy menstrual flow and ... (read in full...)
My vagina hurts and I don't know why
Q. My Vagina hurts. And i just can't figure out why. It hurts when i pee and when i sit down. The only thing that helps is pouring water on it while i pee. Can someone tell me what's the problem ?...
A. 17 April 2009: You may be dealing with a yeast infection, as those are very common symptoms. Another cause would be a urinary tract infection, UTI (extremely uncomfortable). You can test yourself for the UTI with a test strip you can buy at the drug store. ... (read in full...)
"Women are good in bed!" Explain exactly...
Q. Hello guys. I've just got married and I don't have any experience with men. Can you tell me how the woman can be good at sex... because I heard many of you people talk about this but I don't understand what men mean when they say women are good in ...
A. 16 April 2009: The best way to be good in bed? Have as much sex as you can with your husband. Experience, along with some good educational literature, is the cure for inexperience.... (read in full...)
Do you think it's a bad idea for a girl to let her man go to a bar without her?
Q. My boyfriend wants to go to a bar Friday night with some of his buddies. His friends have a band and are performing that night. My friends are all like "your letting him go by himself?" I'd never let my man do that!" He's never given me a reason not ...
A. 16 April 2009: Everyone needs a little space. Let him go out with his friends - he's a big boy and can handle it just fine, I'm sure. If he makes a goof while he's out then he's the one who will have to suffer the consequences. Perhaps that would be a good nigh... (read in full...)
Abusive BF making life hell do I try to sort it out or cut my losses?
Q. Hi I really need some advice about my partner. We've been together for about 5 years during which time he was going through a divorce from his estranged wife. Over the years I noticed more and more that he can be verbally abusive. He said that ...
A. 16 April 2009: Wow - he sounds depressed. A visit to the doctor might shed some light on your situation.... (read in full...)
Am I worrying too much?
Q. HELP!!! Ma friend hasnt been online for over a week i love her to pieces, she knows i love her, but i'm worried sick over her, she has been online once, only once, this week :( from the time i came back from holiday until now (sunday i came back and ...
A. 15 April 2009: Just send an email telling her you've not heard from her and just want to make sure everything is okay and to please write back so your mind can be at ease. Any good friend would not want the people they care about to be worried.... (read in full...)
How to change my life?
Q. I am 21 and i think that i wont do anything valuable in my life because i have problems with luck..although i am highly educated i have no job and i am very frightened that best i will do is to stay housewife and i want more...how to change my life?...
A. 15 April 2009: Hmmm... good one. No job can certainly be attributed to the economy, especially for an educated individuals. Sounds like you're going to have to get creative. But are you sure it's just a luck issue? I was in engineering school and had a staggering ... (read in full...)
Was my agreeing to have sex too fast?
Q. so ive had a crush on this guy for about 7 months now. He's always asked me to hang out after a party or something but ive always said no in some way. I rejected him a good 3 times. After a month of not talking because we were on spring break and ...
A. 15 April 2009: We live in a fourth dimension: time. Can't stop it, can't rewind it. Dear, there's nothing you can do about it now (it's a Willie Nelson song). You should hope he's a decent guy and if not, well... "Experience is what we get, when we didn't get ... (read in full...)
Got my mistress AND my wife pregnant. Now my wife is being difficult. Shall I leave her?
Q. Last month I asked a question about how I could get my wife to forgive me after I had an affair and the other women got pregnant. Thankfully she forgave me but now things seem to be getting worse rather then better. My wife told me that she too is ...
A. 15 April 2009: Integrity? Character? You already know why your wife is being difficult. Grateful is what you ought to be. She didn't leave you... yet. Don't ask questions you already know the answer to (it's the bane of living in a society that strives to ingrain ... (read in full...)
My b/f said "I want to sleep around because I feel like I'm missing out"
Q. My boyfriend is 19 an I am 17. We have been together a year and a half now and we are still going strong... so I thought. As I am 17 I can't always get in clubs. I understand my boyfriend wanting to go out with his friends in clubs. He wnet o...
A. 14 April 2009: No need to be confused. Sounds like he's been pretty clear about what he wants. Do you really want a guy who is going to stomp on your self esteem that way? You're young, but at a perfect age to instill in yourself some standards of quality ... (read in full...)
Should I let him go and forget about him?
Q. Hi everyone,I need advise. 2004 I meet this we were in love,we are not staying in the same town. He used call and ask me to visit,it was nice. 2007 he introduce me to his family then November(same year) I got pregnant. Following year I got a job to...
A. 14 April 2009: Forget him. Don't waste your or your child's time with someone who's not going to care. I have a "three strikes your out" policy, and when I stick to it, I find myself getting further and doing better in the long run. This guy obviously doesn't ... (read in full...)
I am now scared to get hurt.
Q. I have recently started dating a guy that i met a few weeks ago. He is really lovely and is a complete gentlemen who puts a smile on my face. Only i have one problem. at the beginning of the year i had my heart broken by the man i was madly in love ...
A. 14 April 2009: Take your time!! If this new man is so lovely and whatnot, he will be patient regardless of what your issues are. Consider getting some counseling about your previous relationship though. You don't want to build up any more walls than you already ... (read in full...)
How can I relax my vagina during sex?
Q. How can I relax my vagina muscles during sex? Sounds weird as most women are looking to tighten their vagina but I want to relax it. And most men want a tight vagina. However, my partner, which I just recently decided to have sex with (after 2 ...
A. 11 April 2009: You ought to go to your closest adult toy store and get a toy that is as similar in size to your partner's penis as possible, and use it whenever you pleasure yourself. The more often you use this, the easier it will get for you and for him. The ... (read in full...)
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