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Wife no longer interested in sex; is it OK to look elsewhere?

Q.   Hi there everyone, Mike here, new to the site but isn't it good? I have a problem, we've been married over 35 years and we hav'nt had sex for the last 22 of them, we've not fallen out in fact we're far better together than when we had sex, but just...

A.   4 March 2010: This is really weird but it does happen that some people can't engage in sex for some reason. A marriage enrichment course or counseling with a sex therapist can help her sort out her aversion to it. This must be a torturous existence. If you are ... (read in full...)

Will he leave me if he thinks the baby's not his?

Q.   The thing is, I'm currently 37wks pregnant! I'm with my partner of 3years who I love to bits but when I fell pregnant we were going threw a bad patch and I slept with sum1 else round that time. My dr said I concieved the 25th and I slept with the ...

A.   3 March 2010: Oohh!! Temper, temper, westgirl!! I am going to use "blumming"; never heard that word before! Ok, on a serious note, I think what he is telling himself for now, is that he will support you in case it turns out to be his. Erring on the good side... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   3 March 2010: It honestly does look like she's lost interest for now. I think perhaps she feels she gave you a chance to pursue her and you didn't take it? Us over 30's don't often make the first move. Although in the past I have avoided guys I liked if I wasnt ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   26 February 2010: In my opinion, if she is giving you signals, take it and run with it. The friendship approach is only for you to use as a safe approach just in case she is not in the same frame of mind. So if she gives you strong signals then ditch the friendship ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   26 February 2010: Oh goodness! Not in the least! That's what this site is for, being honest about how you are feeling so people can give accurate advice. I was hope all the others who get your follow ups would also give their opinions because I didn't want to sound ... (read in full...)

What do I do to make things better between my daughter and I so that we can have a close relationship?

Q.   I have made a mistake that hurt my daughter badly. It was 10 yrs. ago, when she was 10. This guy who was a 'friend' was coming up to our house. He was interested in starting a relationship with me and likewise. My daughter got a kind of like 'pu...

A.   23 February 2010: Ok. I need to give you a wake up call. You need help. Your daughter is a sociopath and might even have a borderline personality disorder. She hasn't forgiven you for dating a guy she liked when she was 10???? That is strait-jacket asylum talk ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   23 February 2010: As a single mother with 3 kids, in excellent bikini shape and financially independent, I have had lots of men try to sleep with me without even really knowing me. I was celibate for 2 years and I didn't even care because when you get to a certain ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   22 February 2010: Firstly, women absolutely thrive on attention. So if you remember tidbits from previous chats then that is a bonus. And women do get sexually interested in men who start off as friends. The key here is to move quickly from friendship zone; within ... (read in full...)

When ever there is a private moment my stepdaughter flaunts herself

Q.   I am a man in his early 50's,,very fit and keep in good shape.I am also married with 2 teenage daughters,and another step daughter from my wife's previous marriage.We all had a lovely pleasant family unity until my step daughter started maturing and ...

A.   22 February 2010: Well in that case, her behavior doesn't require a gentle approach. You tell her firmly and loudly "put some clothes on NOW." You should not tolerate it. Just imagine that its one of your younger daughters behaving like this. Its completely ... (read in full...)

No matter what I do my wife never feels content, and now she is threatening a divorce. What should I do?

Q.   I have a small online business so I work at home. I have a wife, a lovely 1.5 year old daughter and I love them very much. We moved to a new house out of state to start a new beginning with our daughter. As our new home is bigger, my wife would ...

A.   22 February 2010: You have to have a meeting to discuss your marriage. She sounds like she is depressed. If you can't speak to her because it degenerates into a fight then write her a letter expressing how you feel and that you want her to tell you exactly what she ... (read in full...)

I told her the level of sex needed to increase, but it hasnt, should I dump her?

Q.   I told my girlfriend that I didn't want to have a relationship with her if there wouldn't be regular (somewhat frequent--at least once a week or so). She promised things would change, and they did for about a week, and now things are back to boring ...

A.   22 February 2010: Sexual arousal for a man is like switching on a light; instant. For women its more like an iron; takes time to heat up. So if you want more sex then be more romantic in the lead up. Dont only be romantic the minute you want to do it. If you want ... (read in full...)

I found disturbing porn on my boyfriends laptop.

Q.   I'm 19, my boyfriend's 22, we've been together for a year and a half. I was recently on my his laptop, I was looking at photos and I closed the folder and forgot where I found it. So I looked at recent items, and clicked on one of the photo names. ...

A.   22 February 2010: This one is very tricky. Because you need to figure out how he got it before you confront. For example, you could confront him then he could show you that the pics came from an email from a friend with the subject heading "this is disgusting, let's ... (read in full...)

I would never consider going out with a young girl so why did I dream about my friend's little sister?

Q.   I am a 25 years old male. Last night, I had a sex dream about my friend's sister who is 14 years old (my friend is 24 years old but his sister is only 14 years old). In the dream, both of us nude making out with each other. In the real wor...

A.   22 February 2010: Our subconcious minds do this to us. The important thing is to not dwell on it or beat yourself up over it. Pay no attention. It was just a dream. I have had similar dreams; I remember once dreaming I got raped. It was after I had been watching a ... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin and I want to get laid! Where can I find a girl?

Q.   I just turned 20 and I'm still a virgin. I desperately need a girl in and out of the bedroom especially in the bedroom. I live in Boston. I don't go to school and I'm too young to go to the clubs or bars. i don't really know anyone that ...

A.   22 February 2010: I would encourage you to try meet women as friends first whether online or at Yoga class or even the gym. You sound severely sheltered so why dont you also consider joining the Peace Corps or Operation Raleigh or any volunteer organisation that will ... (read in full...)

I want to marry him, but my parents won't accept him because he is white

Q.   I've been dating a man, whom I love madly for the past five years. However, much of that time it has been long distance, and we've only been able to see each other for an hour or two here and there over the years. I'm away at school in ano...

A.   22 February 2010: Another issue; be careful about what you say to him about your family's attitude. You dont always have to tell him every negative thing they say. In my case, they never said anything to his face; it was all to me. So I just never told him much ... (read in full...)

I am pregnat but worried something might have gone wrong

Q.   Hello, I am pregnant at 26 years old and thin/fit...size 3/4. I am not showing at all! I have my first ultrasound on Thurs., but I'm so afraid something is wrong. After I was born, and my mother was pregnant again, she went for an ultrasound at 12...

A.   22 February 2010: The only thing I can say is wait and see; Thursday is just now. 95% you are probably all fine and for a first pregnancy you won't show until about 18/20 weeks. Morning sickness gets better after the first 10 weeks. Buy the book called "What to ... (read in full...)

I was raped by my ex boyfriend

Q.   bout a month to 2 months ago i was at my babys dads house who i am not with we have been split for a while now well we were having sex and he asked me if he could put it in my ass i said no he said comeon y not i said no sorry i cant do that so we ...

A.   22 February 2010: Sodomy is against the law if its not consensual. Men are normally raped this way. This is also a case of domestic violence. The best thing for you is to phone a rape helpline and speak to a counselor over the phone and explain what happened to you. ... (read in full...)

Will he leave me if he thinks the baby's not his?

Q.   The thing is, I'm currently 37wks pregnant! I'm with my partner of 3years who I love to bits but when I fell pregnant we were going threw a bad patch and I slept with sum1 else round that time. My dr said I concieved the 25th and I slept with the ...

A.   21 February 2010: If he knows the full story that you slept with someone else around that time and he is saying don't worry, then dont. Relax and enjoy your final days of freedom. ... (read in full...)

What do I do to make things better between my daughter and I so that we can have a close relationship?

Q.   I have made a mistake that hurt my daughter badly. It was 10 yrs. ago, when she was 10. This guy who was a 'friend' was coming up to our house. He was interested in starting a relationship with me and likewise. My daughter got a kind of like 'pu...

A.   21 February 2010: Your post is not making sense. Do you mean she hates you for dating this guy? Or did he abuse her or something?... (read in full...)

He wants a naked picture, I am so nervous I feel I am going to puke!

Q.   Okay, So this guy i have known for a couple of years, me and him have started talking... just today. and he said i had a nice body and wants a pic of me naked. i told him he probably wouldnt get it but he says that it would make him happy. should i...

A.   21 February 2010: Sorry' darling but if you send this guy your naked pic then he is guilty of possessing child pornography and can go to jail. Yes, seriously. So don't send him your naked pic. Just stop taking his calls if you don't know how to say no. He can end up ... (read in full...)

I am still a virgin, is it unrealistic to wait until I am married?

Q.   I'm a 45 yr old male christian virgin. The women I know just want to be friends with me or they never want to be married and they just want a physical relationship. These are both christian and non christian women. I wanted to be married by now. I'm ...

A.   21 February 2010: My advice is for you to Google Christian online dating sites and post a profile there. Do not state that you are a virgin, that's too much information! You can always reveal that when you meet someone and know them well enough. Also, Christian or ... (read in full...)

I'm confused how he feels after our first date and wonder what I should do

Q.   I met this wonderful guy online. We are in our 40's. We hit it off on the spot. He wa open, I was not, I had one pic posted of myself,,bt his profile stated he only likes slim and slender, I am not I 'm not overweight, I have curves like I told him ...

A.   21 February 2010: I think you can send him a thanks for the date message then leave it up to him. Perhaps he is also thinking you might have been disappointed so just be the brave one. After that though, don't message him or anything and move on. In future, avoid ... (read in full...)

I want to marry him, but my parents won't accept him because he is white

Q.   I've been dating a man, whom I love madly for the past five years. However, much of that time it has been long distance, and we've only been able to see each other for an hour or two here and there over the years. I'm away at school in ano...

A.   21 February 2010: Probably the reason why they won't accept him is because they don't know him yet. They probably think he's just a white man using you. They haven't yet seen how much he loves and cares for you. It boils down to a decision on both you and your ... (read in full...)

Should I continue my affair for a chance at some happiness

Q.   Hi my name is michelle i have been married for 20yrs, unhappily for 10yrs to a much older man. ( 30yrs my senior.) I have been having an affair to a single man for the last 4yrs and love him very much. My problem is, that he doesn't like me ...

A.   21 February 2010: Firstly its not just him using you; you are also using him. How do you expect him to commit to you when you are married? Between the two of you, you are the one getting the best of both worlds. So he tells himself she is not really mine to love so ... (read in full...)

Is semen good for the skin

Q.   is semen swallowing beneficial for healthy skin? ...

A.   21 February 2010: No. Semen is simply protein. But I think it would be better if you ate normal protein like fish, chicken, eggs etc. Because this is a potentially dangerous way to get the protein you need considering diseases etc. ... (read in full...)

When ever there is a private moment my stepdaughter flaunts herself

Q.   I am a man in his early 50's,,very fit and keep in good shape.I am also married with 2 teenage daughters,and another step daughter from my wife's previous marriage.We all had a lovely pleasant family unity until my step daughter started maturing and ...

A.   21 February 2010: In what way does she flaunt herself? ... (read in full...)

What are the legalities of a 26 yo impregnating a 16yo in the States?

Q.   can a 26 year old man go to jail for getting a 16 year old girl pregnant even if they have her parents permission?...

A.   21 February 2010: It depends which state the pregnant female lives in. Some states say 16 is the minimum and some say 18 is the minimum. If you live in a state that says 18 is the minimum, its also illegal to cross state lines for the purposes of sex with a minor so ... (read in full...)

I need to decide where to complete my studies

Q.   hey guys..random question. Since many of u guys are experienced with education please help me decide whether I should take a law degree in USA or UK. I really cant decide,so I just need ur perspectives cuz I have no family to talk about my future. I ...

A.   21 February 2010: It depends on 3 things:1. what type of law you want to do; 2. which country you will live in 3. What qualifications you have right now. If you want to do international law then you can go anywhere in the world. You could even do the English law degr... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   21 February 2010: I would not give her a note expressing interest. Try talk to her; get her at a moment alone like you did when you complimented her blouse. The problem with expressing a romantic interest first before a friendly date is perhaps she doesn't see you ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   20 February 2010: I would NOT encourage you to indicate you want to be more than friends before you have had a chance to go on a date first. Women find it hard to be romantically interested in a guy they don't really know. They like to warm up to a guy. So if you ... (read in full...)

By accepting my wifes affair am I just prolonging the inevitable?

Q.   Hi , i have been married for 12 years but this year i found out that my wife was having an affair . We are trying to work things out but she still wants to keep seeing the other man . I am not happy about this and at the moment it has been left that ...

A.   20 February 2010: Seriously?? This is just shockingly unacceptable. If you were happy with the arrangement then more power to you, but if this bothers you you should make her choose or you should tell her to leave. How can you not value yourself to the level where ... (read in full...)

The married man I love pretends to be busy and wont talk to me

Q.   Im in love with a married man who is 10 years elder than i do. I had recently broke up with a guy.. soon after my break up this man came in my life ( we knew each other even before my break up but we got close to each other after my break up) This ...

A.   20 February 2010: He is busy because he has a wife and child. He was only going to use you as his plaything. Move on and find somebody else. ... (read in full...)

Since my boyfriend cheated I don't feel anything during sex

Q.   l think l have a problem about my sex life cos every time when lam having sex l don't feel anything at all this thing is started about 3 months ago when l found my boyfreind sleeping with other woman...

A.   20 February 2010: In my opinion, if you guy cheats on you, you have to stop sleeping with him for a while to resolve the issue. This makes him take the focus off you as just a sex partner and makes him focus on you as an emotional partner. When you sleep with a man ... (read in full...)

He wants to come first, over my child

Q.   I am a single mom with a 4 year old son. My boyfriend has a small issue of me not putting my son to bed before 9pm, so that we could have sex. We don't live together, we live 15 minutes apart. The thing is that he sometimes gets tired at 8pm and he ...

A.   20 February 2010: When you discipline a child, you are not doing it for your man or even yourself. You discipline a child FOR that child. There is nothing wrong with putting your child to bed by 7.30pm or 8pm max. Just because you are single it doesn't mean you are ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if a nice lady wants more than just a friendship?

Q.   I am single man attracted to a lady with 3 kids. I have not dated her yet but have been talking with her off and on for about 6 weeks now. I have mentioned to her that kids are resilent and they are good to have around sorta my way to let her k...

A.   20 February 2010: Yes, the compliment thing is hard for some women; I also used to do that. I would encourage you to ask her out on a date. Not 'may I take you out to lunch'; that's a weird way of asking. Maybe 'I know this great little café' or 'you need to taste ... (read in full...)

My husband and I don't have sex anymore and we can't have kids. Should I leave him?

Q.   I have been married for two years to a man who is much older than I, (he's 64, I'm 34) and lately, we have been having some issues serious enough for me to question whether or not we made the right decision. My husband has two adult daughters ...

A.   20 February 2010: Actually, you have given more insight into it because its very possible that he isn't the only one with fertility issues. It could be you or it could be both of you. He is the one with proven fertility as he has had children before. Perhaps you ... (read in full...)

Caught my husband cheating again; not sure where to go from here

Q.   I have been married 12 years. About 3 years ago I found out that me husband was cheating on me. I found out through the text messages and phone calls being made from his phone. I guess there were signs that made me believe that this was going on so ...

A.   19 February 2010: OMG your story is like mine. To this day, my side of the family doesn't know the full story that caused our divorce. I protected his reputation with family, work colleagues and friends. Only confided in one friend. And the secrecy was definitely ... (read in full...)

Caught my husband cheating again; not sure where to go from here

Q.   I have been married 12 years. About 3 years ago I found out that me husband was cheating on me. I found out through the text messages and phone calls being made from his phone. I guess there were signs that made me believe that this was going on so ...

A.   19 February 2010: I tried the whole revenge thing... It doesn't work because the pain remains. No matter how much you try get back at him by seeing someone, the pain of his behaviour stays with you. Admittedly, its a huge ego boost but its very temporary. In this ... (read in full...)

Every month I get very emotional, which affects my relationship. Could this be because of my contraceptive pills?

Q.   Hi, This is more of a health question was wondering if anyone else had the same symptons or had expierienced them. Basically i take the contraceptive pill, the one were you take it for 21 days and then take a gap for 7 days and have your perio...

A.   19 February 2010: Talk to your doctor about skipping the sugar pills and carrying on immediately to the next pack for every 3 packs. You won't have a period for 2 or 3 months and your hormones will remain stable. Soldiers in war zones do this for as much as 6 months ... (read in full...)

I can not deal with him getting phone calls from this woman everyday...

Q.   My story is a very long involved one but I have asked for advice on here before and it has always helped me a lot. I have known my husband for about 14 years although we have been married only for a few months. My problem all revolves around ...

A.   19 February 2010: Call the woman and tell her to back off. Its that simple. Tell her that he calls are creating tension in your marriage and you want her to stop. Tell her if she wants your husband she should come out and say it straight so you can leave them ... (read in full...)

Is it right to give an engagement ring during an argument?

Q.   Is it a bad idea to give a engagement ring during a argument or a break up to try to mend things back together if you really love that person?...

A.   19 February 2010: It depends on what you are fighting about. For instance, if its about who last cooked dinner then you can, but if you cheated forget it. Women like to have everything resolved before moving on. They can't just forget about it and move on without ... (read in full...)

Do you think this guy is married?

Q.   Dear Aunts and Uncles, I would like you to put your detective hats on and help me out please. The Brief: So I've known this guy for a few months but I have a suspicion that he may be married and would really like your opinion. Facts: Sinc...

A.   19 February 2010: If it looks like a duck; walks, quacks... Its a duck. You are probably right that he is in a relationship. Try find his home phone number and phone and ask for Mrs. If she says this is she then pretend to sell insurance or something. Don't just ... (read in full...)

Straight man with homoerotic thoughts?

Q.   I'm straight but I've recently questioned my sexuality because I started liking penis. I don't think I have homosexual tendencies because I have absolutely no "emotional" or "romantic" attraction towards men and don't want to start a relationship ...

A.   19 February 2010: Google "Kinsey scale".. It basically states that there is a range of human sexuality. Very few people are exclusively Homosexual or Hetero or even equally Bi. The majority of humans are in number 1 on the scale. You are probably on 1 or 2. ... (read in full...)

Caught my husband cheating again; not sure where to go from here

Q.   I have been married 12 years. About 3 years ago I found out that me husband was cheating on me. I found out through the text messages and phone calls being made from his phone. I guess there were signs that made me believe that this was going on so ...

A.   19 February 2010: When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. He already showed you he is a cheat but because he got off easy, he saw no reason not to do it again. If you really want to stay you have to make life hell for a little while to really ... (read in full...)

Wife no longer interested in sex; is it OK to look elsewhere?

Q.   Hi there everyone, Mike here, new to the site but isn't it good? I have a problem, we've been married over 35 years and we hav'nt had sex for the last 22 of them, we've not fallen out in fact we're far better together than when we had sex, but just...

A.   19 February 2010: I understand your need for sex but the best place to experiment is within your marriage. Why have you not had sex with her for so long? Is it her lack of desire or is it some type of condition preventing her from doing it? Have you tried talking ... (read in full...)

Is this really American culture? It hurts that he considers what I did in a picture 9 months ago as cheating

Q.   Hi dearcupids! You always offer great advice, so here's a question for you. My boyfriend and I recently got into a fight about a picture that was taken of me. Now Im from a different country than him, he's American. In this picture I was at a party ...

A.   19 February 2010: As a person who has lived in America, when you are dating a guy, especially the Republican types, it is important to not have too much physical contact with men who are not your boyfriend. A kiss on the cheek or a brief hug are ok, but sitting on a ... (read in full...)

After I masturbate, I can't cum again for about an hour. Is something wrong with me?

Q.   when i cum after masterbating i can't cum again for about an hour is there something wrong with me?? and also does anyone know how to make masterbating better???? Cuz i love the experiance im bout to do it now...

A.   19 February 2010: I just read this post for a laugh... "I'm about to do it now.."!!!.. Classic! A little too much information but hey; knock yourself out! Oh, the other thing sounds normal..! ... (read in full...)

Should I live with my ex to get help with our baby?

Q.   Okay my situation is very complicated right now and im needing some advise. ive been living with my boyfriend for a year now we moved really fast so its been a hard road. im 26 and he is 28 he has two kids 4 and 5 from a previous relationship. and ...

A.   19 February 2010: This is a very delicate situation, because what if he starts bringing girlfriends home while you are living together? You need to find out what your boundaries are before such an arrangement. Other than that, I think it can work but he will not be ... (read in full...)

I think my Pastor might be flirting with me

Q.   I am confused. I think my pastor may be interested in me, but I'm not really sure. He calls and checks on mne when I don't go to church and he's protective of me and my kids. About one month ago, I came to church for the first time in weeks and he ...

A.   19 February 2010: Its possible that he could be interested in you, but its also possible that he shows extraordinary concern for all his *ahem* congregation (halelujah!). Ok seriously, you should just take it and see it as just a good friendship situation unless he a... (read in full...)

My husband and I don't have sex anymore and we can't have kids. Should I leave him?

Q.   I have been married for two years to a man who is much older than I, (he's 64, I'm 34) and lately, we have been having some issues serious enough for me to question whether or not we made the right decision. My husband has two adult daughters ...

A.   19 February 2010: Have you looked at all your fertility options? Google the company Fertility Institutes; they have new technologies all the time. The last one I read about was when a vasectomy reversal is unsuccessful, they aspirate directly from the vas deferens. ... (read in full...)

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