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*ndie's Thoughts agony aunt

*ndie's Thoughts

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*ndie's Thoughts's profile:

I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)

Karma does happen:

My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy.

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My husband expects me to give him money to send home to his family every month

Q.   Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. He is a charming man, shows affections and can be very expressive. I do love him , I just don’t like some traits he has. He doesn’t like to be questioned, and he gets ange...

A.   24 November 2018: When our family friend met a woman on his holiday to Thailand and married her a year or so later, he knew it’s their culture for the spouse to send money to their family back in Thailand, as well as often buy land for their family to build on. ... (read in full...)

Who is the cheater?

Q.   If you have a baby with a man and he ditches you and then some years later you meet him again and he goes back to wanting to sex you again and you can't stop wanting to see him and then you find out he already has a girlfriend who he is still ...

A.   24 November 2018: Both. No doubt about it. Doesn’t matter how well he knows someone - stranger or ex, they’re both involved in the cheating.... (read in full...)

I want to end the relationship but I'm scared I'm pregnant

Q.   Hi I’m in a relationship for 6 years we have a 3 yr old son lately all I think about is ending the relationship I’m not happy at all he does nothing for our child I do everything in the house I go to work and I look after our son the problem is I’m ...

A.   24 November 2018: 1) No more sex. You shouldn't have anyway, but you did. No more. 2) Do a few pregnancy tests. If you are pregnant, speak to a doctor about your options. It's not a baby yet; it's just an embryo, so there's no shame in having an early abortion b... (read in full...)

Is he interested in sex? Companionship? What?

Q.   I’m utterly confused and would love your help. A man I’ve known for years has been texting me with cryptic messages. We live in different states. He asked me to visit him. I laughed it off. But he asked again and nowI know he’s serious. He teases ...

A.   24 November 2018: ASK.... (read in full...)

We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me

Q.   After 20 yrs of marriage my husband asks for threesome, after two yrs we finally tell my friend that she is our threesome girl, my husband was madly in love with me, then I hear that she is coming over to visit during the day to smoke, then I notice ...

A.   24 November 2018: Unfortunately, you would have been better off coming here for advice before agreeing to the threesome, so we could have told you this would happen. We tell everyone this will most likely happen.... because it almost always does. This problem is your ... (read in full...)

What could be going on with this guy?

Q.   So last year I was meeting this guy for a while (about 2 months) and to my shock he told me that he was going to prison. He had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd something to do with drugs and he got sentenced. We agreed to not talk whilst he’s ...

A.   23 November 2018: Youcannotbeserious is spot on. What proof do you have that he was in prison? How do you KNOW he isn’t using drugs now? How do you KNOW he has a proper job? How do you KNOW he isn’t still involved with the wrong people? HOW does he hav... (read in full...)

My boyfriend who is broke pretends to take control of my economy and my bank.

Q.   Me (22) and my boyfriend (26) went on a trip that we didn´t plan. At first it seemed like a good idea because he was about to get some money for having quit his job, and someone was about to send him money that the person owed to me. I spent al...

A.   23 November 2018: You need to find a safe way to leave him. Speak to friends of family who can help you stay safe while planning to leave and report him to the police if he stole things. If you are too generous with boyfriends, especially if they aren’t generous ... (read in full...)

How do I get my gf to have sex with me again? If she doesn't, then how do I cope with not having sex?

Q.   Hello everybody I have been with my girl for a year. we love each other. but since from early on our sex life has been pretty minimal. only when she drinks she initiates sex. but now she doesn’t drink we have talked about it and she says she...

A.   22 November 2018: Be romantic and affectionate, if she likes that - not in the hopes you’ll get sex, but just to show her love. In a week or so, when you haven’t mentioned sex, jams her KINDLY and SENSITIVELY why she isn’t interested in sex. Don’t whine. Don’t blame. ... (read in full...)

She's 18, I'm 25. Am I a creep for talking to her?

Q.   I've been doing some online speed dating to fire up my social life. Recently I met a girl (and fellow foodie). It was almost too easy to small talk my way to a date this Thursday. The problem is, she is 18... She just finished highschool and is ...

A.   21 November 2018: You’re not creepy for talking to her, but you are too old for her, in my opinion. You’re at two different life stages and she’s only just starting her adult life. I think you’d be her first serious relationship and that’s a lot of pressure. I think ... (read in full...)

I'm extremely insecure about my inverted nipple!

Q.   Hello. My question is personal and I'm embarrassed to ask it. I have nice boobs, except one nipple is inverted. I've tried nipple correctors and even had an inpatient surgery a few years ago but nothing's corrected it. I've always been very self ...

A.   20 November 2018: It is NOT ugly. IT IS A NIPPLE! Jerks are jerks. Speak to the boyfriend. If he doesn't want to pay both boobs attention, get rid of him. There will be guys who will LOVE your boobs - BOTH of them. Do not settle for someone who doesn't love ALL of ... (read in full...)

My insecure girlfriend hacked into my social media to spy on me and I don't feel good about our relationship now

Q.   My girlfriend recently opened up that she has trust issues and that she hacked into my instagram just to spy on me. She felt so because I have more female friends compared to men, but the thing is this has been the case with me since childhood. She ...

A.   20 November 2018: If this was a year ago and she apologised, never doing it again, I’d forgive her. Doing it recently and having such an attitude about it all? She needs help with that and it probably won’t work well if you stay with her.... (read in full...)

I'm 15 and can't get over feeling the same way every day that I am a failure

Q.   Hi all. I am 15 years old, approaching GCSE's and I'm under an onslaught of problems. My first is that I appear to be *VERY* unattractive (and not only just my apparent bad looks reinforce this). From what I've heard, seen and experienced peop...

A.   19 November 2018: Oh, OP :( Being a teenager is hard. Please try to take in the advice you get, even though you won't want to. - Crushes when you're young only last a week or a couple of months, unless they become obsessive and last almost a year or more. It's not... (read in full...)

I think he's going through a midlife crisis he went to Thailand and met a girl and he doesn't know that I know

Q.   I have been dating a man for over a year who has just recently gone through a divorce. (Nothing to do with me). I felt he used me as a punching bag as he was very angry about the divorce although I knew he loved me. He stopped speaking to me f...

A.   19 November 2018: I'm sorry, but you know you need to let go and move on - that's why you don't want us to tell you it. This isn't a midlife crisis - that's buying something "silly" or getting a tattoo/piercing impulsively, etc. not cheating on your girlfriend. ... (read in full...)

Could this work out for us in the future or should I forget about him?

Q.   So I told my friend that I liked him and he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. I was really scared that our friendship was going to be ruined but luckily we're still pretty good friends cause he didn't want to ruin the friendship ...

A.   19 November 2018: Forget about it. Move on with your life. If it's meant to happen, it will do, but don't wait around for it.... (read in full...)

Should I talk to him about my concerns? Or just cool things?

Q.   Hi all, wanting some relationship/life advice please! I split up from a long term relationship back in June this year. I lived with him for 3 years, we were together about 3.5 years and it ended badly with no closure. I was very much in love wit...

A.   18 November 2018: Stop. No, seriously. Drugs are a bad idea. He’s also a few years older, which makes a difference at your age. Please, I know you don’t want to hear it, but you can’t change him and you will have to give up at some point. Don’t wait until your ... (read in full...)

Been out a few times but I got Cancelled on, was this the right response?

Q.   As the title said, we've been out a few times already. Hasn't really been much of a spark but it seems like given time it could go somewhere. However this last time I asked her out I was cancelled on, not last minute but still cancelled on ...

A.   18 November 2018: So, the guys think one thing and the women think another (based off the first 3 responses, CW, N91 & HP) plus me: I think you should give her a chance to reschedule, but only a week. If she doesn't by then, don't text her again, just accept i... (read in full...)

I'm unsure of the relationship but is that enough to throw it away?

Q.   I can't tell right now if I'm unsure of my relationship. I know even questioning it is probably an indication. But people bet cold feet at weddings.. so could this jusy be cold feet as were getting older? We've been together for a year but split up...

A.   18 November 2018: Have a conversation about goals. It may be that both of your goals - buying a house and having kids in the next few years - aren't realistic with the economic situation. I live in England and my cousins have been working full-time almost constant... (read in full...)

She broke up with me because I lied about my drinking. I want to get her back!

Q.   I got a tough deal.. So my girlfriend just broke up with me, beacause ive continuously lied to her about my drinking. Which is a problem. I don’t blame her for breaking up with me at all, but of coarse i didnt want that. okay the thing is we ...

A.   18 November 2018: Maybe she will come back, but I hope she doesn't even consider it until you have been COMPLETELY sober for over a year. That means going to AA meetings regularly. No excuses, no lying, no relationship, just focus on AA. 5 years, 25 years or 50 ye... (read in full...)

I've fallen hard for him but do I wait?

Q.   Hey Cupids :) I've been single for 2 years. A few months ago, I started talking to a guy who I first met 3 years ago. He's now single, but is still very affected by his break-up (from 5/6 months ago-I think they were together a couple of years....

A.   18 November 2018: Honeypie said what I was thinking. I disagree with the other poster's opinion on never letting people in your life if they have mental health issues, though. Yes, mental illnesses are very serious, but should people with them just be alone until ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend throw my things away without even asking me!

Q.   My boyfriend keeps throwing my things away without asking me or, worse, even after I have told him not to. We live in a relatively small flat and don’t have a lot of space so he thinks it’s ok to just throw things away that he thinks are taking up ...

A.   17 November 2018: You know how he is. Do you stay and accept it or leave and keep your stuff? Coupons? Keep them in your purse - leaving them out is clutter. CDs? Buy a CD case that holds all of the discs in and get rid of the cases if you don’t have room for a ... (read in full...)

Are LDR's real relationships, even if you haven't met them yet?

Q.   Hello, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a man. He is from the US, and is 21 years old, and I am from the UK, and am 18 years old. We met online, and have been together for a couple of months now. We are still going strong...

A.   17 November 2018: OP, it’s hard to hear when you’re sure of everything, but it’s not going to change the advice and opinions. I’ve been in a strong LDR, but you still won’t listen. That’s okay because it’s up to you what you do, but that doesn’t mean our opinions or ... (read in full...)

I'd like to apologize to someone that I still like even though he now has a girlfriend. Should I and if so how?

Q.   I think someone who I still have feelings for lives in my area and has recently moved here with his girlfriend,he is aware of where I live and doesn't like me due to what happened between us which I just accept and have learnt from it . I may be ...

A.   16 November 2018: You still like him and he’s not single, so no, you shouldn’t contact him.... (read in full...)

Am I still a virgin after finger sex?

Q.   i had figer sex with my guy for some week, he only used one of his figer, i did not see any blood when he was doing it, but have stop it i want to no if am stil a vigin becos i have never had opposit sex with him. thanks ...

A.   14 November 2018: Yes you are, but please use the internet to educate yourself on sex before you put your mouth on each other or put his penis inside you. You need to have condoms ready for EVERY time and be on birth control EVERY DAY. Do not have sex until you have ... (read in full...)

The girls I want to date end up dating other guys!

Q.   Hi everyone! This isn't such a serious situation, just looking for some advice and guidance. I met a girl a few weeks ago, we exchanged numbers and she went back to her city 2 hours away. We chatted every day, she flirted a lot and we had a g...

A.   12 November 2018: I'm sorry, but you're getting bitter. Women don't owe you their attention. You briefly spoke. Two weeks is nothing but, if you liked her, you should have asked her out. If you just keep talking and it's not really interesting her any more, th... (read in full...)

I’m pregnant and confused and worried about what I should have happen next!

Q.   Just wanted to ask others opinions on this subject. Basically i have quite a bit of bad look with relationships, i have my own house and and have been living on my own now with just my dog and rabbit which is how i like it for 3 years now. I did ...

A.   12 November 2018: Firstly: "the thought of someone being there all the time terrifies me and horrfys me" - I get it, but you're pregnant, so tough. Your baby will be there 24/7 and it is HARD in a couple, let alone as a single parent, which is what you'll be. That ... (read in full...)

Are LDR's real relationships, even if you haven't met them yet?

Q.   Hello, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a man. He is from the US, and is 21 years old, and I am from the UK, and am 18 years old. We met online, and have been together for a couple of months now. We are still going strong...

A.   12 November 2018: As someone who has been in a serious LDR, you have to be able to visit for a couple of weeks every few months (or similar) or you’re not really in each other’s lives enough to form a proper connection and know that it’s worth the risk of one of you ... (read in full...)

Worst mistake of my life!! Don’t know what to do

Q.   I’m in the worst situation I could ever be in in my life I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and now I don’t know what to do I am suffering badly! I am 14 weeks pregnant but ended up cheating the night before I found out I was pregnant I know how bad ...

A.   12 November 2018: You know telling him is the only right thing to do now. It’s too late to take it back, so you need to give him the choice to stay or leave. Please don’t wait because it’ll leave you less likely to tell him and it’s not right to hide your cheating ... (read in full...)

Worst mistake of my life!! Don’t know what to do

Q.   I’m in the worst situation I could ever be in in my life I’ve made the biggest mistake ever and now I don’t know what to do I am suffering badly! I am 14 weeks pregnant but ended up cheating the night before I found out I was pregnant I know how bad ...

A.   11 November 2018: Couples' counselling and own up. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him" is selfish because everyone should know if the person they love has cheated. I'm sorry, but he deserves to know and decide for himself whether he wants to be with you or not. ... (read in full...)

I've got a crush on the check out chck!

Q.   Over the last couple of months i have been getting very friendly with a girl who works on the checkout at my local supermarket. We chat a lot and share lots of eye contact, and when i am walking away with my trolley after paying i look back and she ...

A.   11 November 2018: We've seen this situation before, so I'm wondering if it was from you. Important: How old are you? How old do you think she is? (If she doesn't look like she's around your age or older, don't try anything; it'll come across as creepy.) Av... (read in full...)

I like a guy but another girl might steal him.

Q.   I like this uy named Jonah but im not sure how to go about it because we only talk in school and this one girl Aliyah may steal him but I feel like me and him have a connection...

A.   11 November 2018: At your age, you should only go out in groups, so invite him and some friends out to the movies or for a meal. As for “stealing” - he’s not yours, so he can’t be stolen. It all feels very stressful and emotional, at your age, but “stealin... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is perfect, but I want an open relationship.

Q.   Hi people. I met my current girlfriend a little over two years ago and I was not the social type back then. I never really went out a lot and hanging out with friends was pretty much 'indoor'. After I met her I became very outgoing. We went t...

A.   11 November 2018: Yeah, break up. Meaningless sex won’t fill your “missing out”, but you’re convinced it will, so let her go. She doesn’t WANT an open relationship, so it will only hurt her, even if she “agrees”. Breaking up is the only fair thing to do. You’re b... (read in full...)

Should I apologize before the concert or just leave it alone?

Q.   When we were dating, I had given my ex a Louis Vuitton necklace. After we broke up, I knew he would just throw it away, so I asked for it back and he said he would mail it. A week later, it hadn’t come in the mail, so I texted him and asked if he ...

A.   10 November 2018: Let it go and leave him alone, before police get involved.... (read in full...)

Is what this 15 year old girl wears okay around a father who drinks?

Q.   Is it ok for a 15 year old girl to walk around the house in her bra around her father...and he drinks heavy so his judgement could be possible inpaired .what should I do? how should I handle this while staying with them....?...

A.   8 November 2018: Honeypie’s response is precisely what I’ve been trying to express, but couldn’t find clear enough words, as I’m not a parent, but it really is no big deal unless you make it one - IF it’s your daughter. When it’s NOT your daughter, then yeah, it’s ... (read in full...)

My ex girlfriend wants to be reimbursed for gifts she gave me.

Q.   I have recently broke up with my girlfriend after nine months together, a couple of weeks before we separated she bought me a present but now we're not together she's asking me to give her back the money she spent on that present, I don't think ...

A.   8 November 2018: Give the gift back. Simple as that.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want children, my mother is heartbroken.

Q.   I met my boyfriend 1 year ago. He is 40 and I am 30. He told me about 3 months into the relationship that he does not want to have any children. I am confused because I am not sure if I want to have any. I know that my current circumstances will not ...

A.   8 November 2018: Sit by yourself. What do YOU want? Not your mum, not your boyfriend. Right now, you don’t want one. Maybe you’ll change your mind in a few years, but maybe you won’t - wait and see. For now, you don’t want any and that’s okay. That said, I don’t ... (read in full...)

Is what this 15 year old girl wears okay around a father who drinks?

Q.   Is it ok for a 15 year old girl to walk around the house in her bra around her father...and he drinks heavy so his judgement could be possible inpaired .what should I do? how should I handle this while staying with them....?...

A.   8 November 2018: If it’s a sports bra, it’s not really any different than a crop top. Does it make a difference if she’s wearing a sheer top over it? Lots of woman and teen girls are wearing sheer tops with their bras visible - does that change it, even though you ... (read in full...)

Is what this 15 year old girl wears okay around a father who drinks?

Q.   Is it ok for a 15 year old girl to walk around the house in her bra around her father...and he drinks heavy so his judgement could be possible inpaired .what should I do? how should I handle this while staying with them....?...

A.   8 November 2018: With respect, I disagree, WiseOwlE. Plenty of teen guys can walk around their house in their underwear, so a girl should be able to as well - at least her top half, if it's a typical bra and not a sexy one. It's often more covering than a bikini and ... (read in full...)

Should I confess I'm gay, would it get him in trouble?

Q.   I've been online friends with another guy who lives in the UAE that I am 90 percent sure has feelings for me, and while I feel the same way I am unsure if he would get into any type of trouble if I were to confess my feelings for him and he were to ...

A.   7 November 2018: Just be online friends. You’re too young for an LDR to work out (you need money, lots of time to visit, transport, etc.) and definitely not when the person is in an area where being gay is illegal.... (read in full...)

She loves me but has a LDR boyfriend.

Q.   A girl has a boyfriend but she loves me. Her boyfriend lives far than Im living close to me. We had sex several times and we both promise to get married but she is yet break up with him? I need some advice.....

A.   7 November 2018: She wants both until one of you leaves. Stop talking to her and no more sex. If she wanted to be with you, she wouldn’t have a boyfriend. You give her the sex her long distance boyfriend can’t give her - that’s it.... (read in full...)

Why is his dad trying to set us up and should I go along?

Q.   Long story short, am a virgin and one day my mom met an old time neighbour (who moved away but is living here again) who has one son. She kept bragging about how her daughter is "a princess" and then the guy said I have "a prince". Ever since he has ...

A.   6 November 2018: If the son has a girlfriend, just let him go. His dad may not know or just may not like the girlfriend, but you need to stay out of it.... (read in full...)

We have fun and the sex is amazing but then why doesn't he fall for me?

Q.   Hey all. I feel like a spoilt brat here, like Verruca Salt when she can't get what she wants. I've completely fallen for a co worker. He works in another office and lives 80 miles away. He lives alone (divorced with a son) as I live with parents ...

A.   6 November 2018: You have to let this go - he won't want you for more, whether you give him sex or not. It's not about not being good enough; it's about being with people who want you around and not trying to make people like you. Stop trying so hard. Be your... (read in full...)

We have fun and the sex is amazing but then why doesn't he fall for me?

Q.   Hey all. I feel like a spoilt brat here, like Verruca Salt when she can't get what she wants. I've completely fallen for a co worker. He works in another office and lives 80 miles away. He lives alone (divorced with a son) as I live with parents ...

A.   6 November 2018: You're too old for this mess, OP. He's telling you what you want to hear, enough for you to keep having sex with him. Why would he "buy the cow when he gets the milk for free"? Your friend is right and you're being naive. Stop this before you real... (read in full...)

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