Like what
she writes?
... Add *ndie's Thoughts to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ndie's Thoughts a private message | | *ndie's Thoughts's Ratings | |
| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
|
How can I talk to someone that doesn't listen to anything I have to say?
Q. Hello and thank you for your opinions in advance My husband and I have been together for two years. When we were in a relationship he was extremely loving, expressive, a real sweetheart which didnt take me long to fall hard for him. For the fir...
A. 23 October 2018: You married a stranger. For all you really know, he smoked weed more or less every day anyway, but you weren't in the same country to see it. Sorry, OP, but you're going to waste your life on this guy. Chalk it up to needing to spend more time ... (read in full...)
I kissed other men while we were broken up, now back together did I cheat on him?
Q. My boyfriend and I had split up for week, his decision and I was gutted but said I would respect his decision. I went out with a friend for a night out and i kissed two men. I love my boyfriend and I was upset with it all. We have now got back tog...
A. 20 October 2018: OP, telling someone something has to be in their best interest. Telling someone because you feel guilty is selfish. However, I think you know what you need to do and I think you'll need a therapist to do it.
I'm glad you're both going to try to m... (read in full...)
I kissed other men while we were broken up, now back together did I cheat on him?
Q. My boyfriend and I had split up for week, his decision and I was gutted but said I would respect his decision. I went out with a friend for a night out and i kissed two men. I love my boyfriend and I was upset with it all. We have now got back tog...
A. 19 October 2018: I think you may be getting too defensive to appreciate the advice from us, but hopefully you’ll be able to cool off and hear us out.
No, you didn’t cheat, but your way of coping isn’t healthy either and is rather self-destructive. Drinking... (read in full...)
He asked me out as a joke but I said yes ... how do I face my friends?
Q. My crush asked me out as a joke and I said yes. I was sick the day after and I wasn’t at school. My friends texted me about it. Apparently he had told most of my friends. Now I have to go back to school. I don’t really like him a lot. I just ...
A. 18 October 2018: "What an idiot; he believed me. Like I'd go out with someone so immature." Other than that, don't comment. Don't bitch about him, don't talk to him, just let it go and others will too.... (read in full...)
I have an anal sex question and can't find answers
Q. Hi, Okay this probably sounds stupid. But please give me some serious answers... I would appreciate it. Yesterday my husband and I had anal sex and he came inside. Today, more than 24 hours later, we had anal and vaginal sex both. Can th...
A. 17 October 2018: Please use condoms until you're ready to be parents. Not only that, but it causes infections to go from anal sex to vaginal sex. Never do anal sex before vaginal. Please see a doctor together to discuss this - especially if he won't use condoms, you ... (read in full...)
What do you make of my boyfriend's long-distance female friend?
Q. My bf has had a female friend for 5 years. At first I was uneasy about the whole thing but as I learned more about her and took my insecurities for working, I became cool with the whole thing. One evening when she messages, he said "oh she was aski...
A. 17 October 2018: In the nicest possible way "butt out" :P I know you're curious, but it's probably nothing :)... (read in full...)
I believe my husband has sick fantasies about my daughter. She trusts him. What should I do?
Q. I found a spare phone in my husband's truck and saved to his favorites was "Stepdaughter fucks step dad".. I have a beautiful 18 year old daughter that lives with us . I'm leaving him because to me, that is unacceptable and I will never look at him ...
A. 17 October 2018: You can't do anything except hope that your relationship with your daughter is good enough and strong enough to keep her staying with you. Don't trash talk him or she'll likely feel closer to him.
Tell him to stop promising her things unless h... (read in full...)
Should I give my ex money back for a trip that he won't be taking with my family?
Q. Hey guys. Since my last post I've taken your advice and no longer visit my exs social media accounts. I am actually in the process of moving on and have even met someone else :) I'm just writing because it's coming to the time where I sign ...
A. 17 October 2018: Flights are usually non-refundable. If he asks for it back, I think you should give it to him, even if you can't get a refund. That said, if he doesn't ask, it's pointless to give him money because you're not getting money from the house.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend in jail. How do I handle that we have to move out?
Q. Girlfriend who has been living with me at my apartment for 5 months was arrested last month(drugs). Lease is up and all her stuff is here. I have been packing it up and cleaning the place to get the deposit back. So I have been there during odd ...
A. 16 October 2018: I’d put her stuff in storage in HER NAME for up to a month. Make sure the company knows you are only paying for the first month, then give them her details for ongoing payments. Contact her only to tell her where it is and such, tell her probation ... (read in full...)
Should I be upset that my FWB partner is having sex with others and lied about it
Q. I have been having sex with a friend but he said he having been with anyone else but I caught him with another woman should I be angry or not because we are not dating? please help me because im mad as hell....
A. 16 October 2018: Him lying about it is risking your sexual health, so that needs to be addressed. Him having sex with others, though, is not something you can be upset about.
Find a FwB who won’t sleep with others, but who you won’t get attached to, or do what mos... (read in full...)
Why can't I develop strong feelings for guys?
Q. I'm struggling to understand why I can't seem to develop strong feelings for guys. I have crushes, but they're always for the guys I can't have. The minute I get into a relationship or feel myself going into one I immediately go off them and run ...
A. 15 October 2018: You haven’t found any right guys because you run away. Spend time with guys you could have, not ones you can’t.
Bear in mind that you could have been just as bad in bed as that guy you slept with, so don’t just blame him - sex goes both ways and... (read in full...)
Will I ever find someone the same as my unrequited love or will I continue spiralling into an endless depression?
Q. Over a span of about 3 years, I've fallen in love with someone who, not long ago, I decided to open up to. They told me that they only want to stay as friends, which has deeply saddened me. They were the only person I've been interested in ever and ...
A. 14 October 2018: Oh, Honey. This is hormones, I promise. This isn’t love; it’s an intense crush. Love is what you’ll experience in a few years when you find someone who feels the same and you build an adult relationship together.
Do you truly believe that, in... (read in full...)
How do meet someone who would want to settle down with me?
Q. I'm a 23 year old trans male. So I've been single for well over five years now. I dated 1 girl in school and another in college. The first girl broke my heart (original I know.) So it kind of messed up my second relationship because of confi...
A. 14 October 2018: *Don’t go on known HOOK UP sites or apps, if you want more than that.
*don’t bother with anyone who makes you feel like being trans is strange or a burden for them. BEING in a relationship with someone who is transitioning can be hard, but that... (read in full...)
How do meet someone who would want to settle down with me?
Q. I'm a 23 year old trans male. So I've been single for well over five years now. I dated 1 girl in school and another in college. The first girl broke my heart (original I know.) So it kind of messed up my second relationship because of confi...
A. 14 October 2018: I have been in love with a guy who happened to be trans. He had just had top surgery before we met and had one of the lower surgeries whilst we were together. I knew he was trans when we met online, but I think it is fair to bring it up on the ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to leave my husband but my married lover isn't saying anything about leaving his wife
Q. Iv been having an affair for a couple of years now and decided to end my marriage. I'm living with a friend but my married lover is still staying put. I said it was my problem about leaving my husband but he said he was still worried for me. He ...
A. 13 October 2018: It’s good you’ve finally stepped up and set your poor husband free, but you really don’t want to be with a cheater because it’s usually only only a matter of time before they cheat on you - you can never trust each other. Anyway, it took you long... (read in full...)
My girlfriend found the engagement ring box and thinks I'm cheating
Q. More than a year ago I bought an expensive emerald engagement ring to give to my live-in girlfriend intending to propose. I never quite found the right time because of some personal problems in her family and then later on we had big fight and I re...
A. 9 October 2018: I agree with all of the posters. Time to choose:
"I want to marry you, but I want us to go to therapy first, to try to fix our issues"
or
"It doesn't matter what it was for, but it was for you. I'm afraid this isn't working any more, though... (read in full...)
What will help me feel at ease about entering a bdsm relationship?
Q. I am 25 and about to enter into my first bdsm relationship with a guy I met online. We’ve been talking for a while now and discussed everything we both want but I am a past rape victim and getting spanked scared me! He knows this but nothing he has ...
A. 8 October 2018: No. Don't do it. "You have much to learn" is BS. It's his way of ALREADY dominating you OUTSIDE of the bedroom.
Stop talking to him; he doesn't really care about you. You need to find someone you can DATE and SLOWLY enter slight BDSM, not a full B... (read in full...)
I'm dating a new guy but I'm still not over my ex
Q. I am 15 , 16 in a few weeks .About 3 months ago , me and my boyfriend of a year broke up and over the summer I gave myself time to get over him . Once summer ended I got back in touch with a boy that I’ve known for about 2 years , we started to hang ...
A. 8 October 2018: Break up. It’s not fair to him.
Also, please put this relationship in perspective. It’s not love. Love doesn’t happen in 3 weeks of dating. You’re really young and shouldn’t be worrying about relationships yet - it causes more trouble than it’... (read in full...)
What will help me feel at ease about entering a bdsm relationship?
Q. I am 25 and about to enter into my first bdsm relationship with a guy I met online. We’ve been talking for a while now and discussed everything we both want but I am a past rape victim and getting spanked scared me! He knows this but nothing he has ...
A. 8 October 2018: Therapy. You need therapy to deal with the trauma. You also need a relationship that slowly introduces BDSM, not throws you into the thick of it.
How well do you know this guy? How much do you trust him? Where is the BDSM going to take place? W... (read in full...)
It's been 4 years and it doesn't look like he will ever change. How much longer should I wait for him?
Q. Hello all. I am seeking advice on how to make a relationship move forward or how to make your SO plan for the future, I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years as of October. He is 27 and i am 23. We have had a wonderful relationship thus fa...
A. 8 October 2018: - I don’t know how it is in the US, but 1 in 3 millennial still won’t be able to afford a mortgage at 40 years old, so living with parents is sometimes a necessity, even as a full-grown adult
- Don’t get married until you’ve finished school a... (read in full...)
I hit him while drunk for making a pathetic comment and now I deeply regret it
Q. DearCupid, I'm 31 years old. I met my boyfriend 28, about 2 yeare ago, weve been together for an official year and it has been the most amazing relationship I have ever had in my life with the most amazing man. But when I met him I was unhappily ...
A. 8 October 2018: I’m sorry, but here are the three for Ito me this:
- don’t drink if you can’t control yourself
- you’re not compatible and should never start a new relationship until completely free of the last one
- you probably need some therapy to dea... (read in full...)
Should I tell my potential mistress that my marriage is falling apart (not true) in order to increase my chances that she'll do it without guilt?
Q. My question is simple. I'm married and going on a trip this weekend to meet a friend that I'd like to get intimate with. She knows I'm married, but has hinted she doesn't care that much. However, I'm not sure I trust that. Should I tell her that my ...
A. 8 October 2018: Where is YOUR guilt? Leave your wife, don’t cheat. It’s cruel to cheat. Don’t betray your wife’s trust, just because your marriage isn’t working. Seriously; cheating destroys people. If you have a shred of decency, you will get a divorce before ... (read in full...)
My wife's adult children are bums whose lifestyles I pay for.
Q. Hi all, I have a problem. First off, I've been married for over 21 years. We largely get along -- mostly because I don't complain about much. During that time, I have raised my wife's 2 children from her previous marriage. They are cur...
A. 6 October 2018: You can’t be seen as a father figure, with any resulting respect or authority, if you didn’t act like one. Their father may be in their lives, but you were still their stepfather and should have behaved like one. It’s too late for that now because ... (read in full...)
I'm not comfortable seeing him if he is going to date other people.
Q. I have been dating/talking to this guy for only 3 weeks. We have been in on a few dates and I have stayed at his house also , things seemed to be going well. So I found out he took another girl out on a date but he doesn’t know that I know , and I ...
A. 5 October 2018: Just tell him what you told us, you aren’t comfortable dating someone unless exclusive. To be fair, seeing other people doesn’t automatically mean sleeping with other people. Also, if you are sleeping with him already, then you’re taking the risk ... (read in full...)
My wife's adult children are bums whose lifestyles I pay for.
Q. Hi all, I have a problem. First off, I've been married for over 21 years. We largely get along -- mostly because I don't complain about much. During that time, I have raised my wife's 2 children from her previous marriage. They are cur...
A. 5 October 2018: I’m with BimBim, but I would add that if you have raised them since they were three and five, you are more or less their parent too. They are not her kids, just because you don’t like how you both raised them.
You also want payment from her in m... (read in full...)
New boyfriend wants to dress in a dress during sex
Q. I have just got a new boyfriend and he told me something a couple of days ago, he said he wants to dress in female pvc in the bedroom. He doesnt want to wear wigs or do make up just wear a dress and certainly doesnt want to go outside in public. At ...
A. 2 October 2018: As this doesn't violate you, I suggest trying it once. If it was another fetish where you were at risk of feeling violated, then I wouldn't advise trying this. However, as it's a harmless one, it's worth giving a go if you want to try to make this ... (read in full...)
What is it about women like this, who are seemingly very ordinary both in looks and nature, that still have their partners in rapt attention?
Q. I'm probably going to get a lot of flak for asking this question but I'll go ahead anyway. I've been married for 3 years to a wonderful man. He's kind, respectful of me, a great husband and a wonderful father to our daughter. She is our world and...
A. 2 October 2018: I wonder if this is largely your perception, rather than the truth that you don't see.
You're so wrapped up in her relationship that you don't mention anything about love in your own.
As long as their child is not starved, constantly sick ... (read in full...)
Can I fool this new guy into thining I'm not a virgin?
Q. Hello! I met a man online. We have been talking for three months on an dating app. We’ve clicked and have a lot in common. The conversation of us being intimate has come up. However, I don’t want to tell him I am a virgin, I’m 26 and he is 22...
A. 27 September 2018: You lucky woman! At least you dodged a bullet :) Hold your head high, continue being honest and find someone who doesn't care whether or not you're a virgin, but wants the same casual sex you do.
All I would say, is whilst "clingy" is the wrong wo... (read in full...)
Would women actually want a relationship with someone who already has a kid?
Q. Call myself c and my daughters mother m. I'll try to keep things short. Our relationship was great before the child came and we even got engaged. I'm not great with women or people in general and I struggle just to hold a conversation to get a tip ...
A. 26 September 2018: If you and your ex have a good relationship, sit down in public to get on the same page about parenting. That's number one. If not, you'll struggle and give your daughter mixed messages. If your relationship with your ex isn't good, do it with a ... (read in full...)
How do I learn to filter my comments?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a 26 year old guy. Started a new job few months back and am in a good place right now. I'm meeting a lot of people with whom I need to co-ordinate to get my job done on a daily basis. The problem is however that I get too friendly...
A. 26 September 2018: To be fair, it's best just not to poke fun at colleagues. Some people laugh it off, but poking fun at people shouldn't be your go to. You can be friendly without being potentially disrespectful or unprofessional.
Just learn not to poke fun and ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend 2 weeks before getting pregnant help!!!
Q. I am 24 years old and found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and thought things were fizzled out, I looked for company else where. I have never cheated on him before and can’t believe I did it this ...
A. 24 September 2018: OP, the guilt won't go until you own up. Few people who advocate for keeping it to yourself would be happy to stay with someone who cheated, just because they didn't know. I wouldn't want to be with someone who cheated on me and I hope they'd have ... (read in full...)
What are some tips for using an average sized penis to make her feel good?
Q. The saying is, it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean. Well my penis is averaged size, but I've come to the conclusion that I don't know how to use it very well. Does anyone have any advice on how to "use" my penis to make her ...
A. 23 September 2018: 1) penises are NOT needed for great sex - fingers and mouths do much better for most women
2) try things and ASK what feels good
3) what works for one may not work for others
4) open and honest communication is important for good sex, ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend 2 weeks before getting pregnant help!!!
Q. I am 24 years old and found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and thought things were fizzled out, I looked for company else where. I have never cheated on him before and can’t believe I did it this ...
A. 23 September 2018: Hoping you miscarry? Girl, get yourself to the doctor to terminate the pregnancy. Wishing a miscarriage is not okay because it’s traumatic and not under a doctor’s supervision, not a simple “get rid of the problem” situation. You clearly aren’t r... (read in full...)
Confused and not sure if I'm in love anymore!
Q. Hey fellow cupids. I'm a little bit confused and have been for some time. I'm in a long term relationship and care for my partner, probably even love (sorry I'm not an emotional guy so it's hard to understand my feelings sometimes). For the last t...
A. 22 September 2018: Ignore the crush. It's irrelevant. We all get crushes and it's common when you've been in a long term relationship.
That said, you need to be on the same page. If you're not on a similar intellectual level, life will be boring. Same goes for othe... (read in full...)
I'm jealous but am I too cruel or too possessive?
Q. Hey guys :) It's been awhile since I posted here. I'm here to share about my jealousy when someone flirts with my lesbian partner :) Damn! She's a perfect butch. I love her with all my heart. I treat her like she's the only person in the whole wide ...
A. 22 September 2018: Too possessive. Too controlling. Too insecure. Possibly illegal. Too aggressive.
Jeez, OP. You should have grown out of handling things childishly. Young teens handle jealousy badly, but you're an adult now, so you need to allow your girlfrie... (read in full...)
Iv recently found out my wife has had sex with women
Q. Hi, found this site accidentally while googling my issue. Ive been with someone 28 years and married 25 years, been together since late teens, thought everything was ok but now I know isnt. Iv recently found out my wife has had sex on more that a ...
A. 22 September 2018: She's bisexual or a lesbian. That doesn't excuse her cheating, which she's done repeatedly. It doesn't matter whether she cheated with men or women. What can you do sexually with a partner? How often can you do it without forcing yourself? This i... (read in full...)
Why is this married female coworker playing games?
Q. Why would married female coworker who is friendly with everyone shower me with gifts just told me she cheated on her husband before out the blue seeks me out all day but today she invites me to smoke and then ignores me and wouldn't even sit next to ...
A. 22 September 2018: Seriously? Dude, of course she's playing games. She's married and a cheater. She wants the ego boost, but could easily get you in trouble with your boss.
Stay away from her. No more attention. Never be alone with her or text/call her. Avoid he... (read in full...)
Will he come back to his senses .... and me?
Q. Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Last year he lost his job and things were not great the fact that he never used to save or invested.I was there for him and supported him in any way I could.Last week he called Me asking h...
A. 20 September 2018: Focusing on building your life and financial stability is a good reason to postpone being in a relationship. That said, his decision came more from his ego than that valid reason.
I know it hurts, but he's really not right for you. You honestly... (read in full...)
I'm happy with the way things are, but she is talking marriage and babies
Q. I have been dating a girl for 7 months now, due to my working hours and her studying at college, we only see each other 2-3 times a week. I am happy with the relationship the way it is because I like my space and time to myself, however she is ...
A. 20 September 2018: Break up. Let her find someone who does want that in the future and, after 7 months, can see it with her - not immediately, but in their future.... (read in full...)
My fiance is a virgin but I've slept with 6 people and had an abortion. Do I need to tell him all this?
Q. Hi, I am engaged to a wonderful guy from the last 5 months, we are going to get married this December 2018,I came to know by investigation and inspection and his views and thoughts and actions, that he is a virgin and he is against premarital sex ...
A. 19 September 2018: As long as you don't lie about it, you don't have to tell him about it either. If he asks, don't lie.... (read in full...)
My wife wants to use a sperm donor to ensure that our third child isn't autistic but I’m not sure how I feel about this.
Q. My wife (34f) and I (36m) have been married for just over six years and in many ways have an ideal marriage and are very much still in love. Despite two kids, we still have sex 2 - 3 times per week. We still find time for getaways nearby beaches, ...
A. 19 September 2018: If I'm honest, and please don't take this the wrong way, but you probably shouldn't be having any more children - autistic or not. You have a lovely family, why add to it?
Your children are no doubt your world, but it's life that autism is a cha... (read in full...)
Can I fool this new guy into thining I'm not a virgin?
Q. Hello! I met a man online. We have been talking for three months on an dating app. We’ve clicked and have a lot in common. The conversation of us being intimate has come up. However, I don’t want to tell him I am a virgin, I’m 26 and he is 22...
A. 13 August 2018: For most people, particularly with their first experiences, sex is better when dating someone or having a good connection and deep trust. You don’t care about that? I have no issue with casual sex, but I’d always advise your first time being with ... (read in full...)
Can I fool this new guy into thining I'm not a virgin?
Q. Hello! I met a man online. We have been talking for three months on an dating app. We’ve clicked and have a lot in common. The conversation of us being intimate has come up. However, I don’t want to tell him I am a virgin, I’m 26 and he is 22...
A. 11 August 2018: We told you. Don’t lie, be upfront and, when you’re ready, you’ll be relaxed enough. If you’re scared of it hurting, you’re not ready. If you’re not relaxed, you’re not ready.... (read in full...)
Can I fool this new guy into thining I'm not a virgin?
Q. Hello! I met a man online. We have been talking for three months on an dating app. We’ve clicked and have a lot in common. The conversation of us being intimate has come up. However, I don’t want to tell him I am a virgin, I’m 26 and he is 22...
A. 8 August 2018: You seem to have a real attitude problem. Anyway, yes, you should just straight up tell him you're a virgin looking to have sex with someone. He needs to know you're not after a relationship or dating, whether you tell him you're a virgin or not.... (read in full...)
Can I fool this new guy into thining I'm not a virgin?
Q. Hello! I met a man online. We have been talking for three months on an dating app. We’ve clicked and have a lot in common. The conversation of us being intimate has come up. However, I don’t want to tell him I am a virgin, I’m 26 and he is 22...
A. 6 August 2018: OP, you barely know each other. Stop rushing into thinking about sex when you haven't met yet.
For starters, your hymen might already have broken - exercise, tampons, an injury, masturbation, etc. can all break it.
Secondly, most 22 year old... (read in full...)
| *ndie's Thoughts's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ndie's Thoughts has
added them and they have added *ndie's Thoughts!
|
