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| | *ndie's Thoughts's profile:I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)
Karma does happen:
My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy. |
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Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?
Q. I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...
A. 5 December 2018: With social media, you should only monitor it as far as you can without needing her password or snooping through her messages - ie seeing what she posts, but nothing more than that.
If she’s capable and enjoys the role, then it’s YOUR behaviou... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?
Q. I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...
A. 4 December 2018: Stop giving her money without her earning it through chores, and start teaching your son before he ends up like her. Alpha parenting is unhelpful, but so is giving them everything and not teaching them how to look after themselves.... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?
Q. I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...
A. 4 December 2018: If you don’t teach, she won’t learn. I was taught, so I learnt. My brother wasn’t taught, so he didn’t learn. It wasn’t until he went to uni that he realised had to learn.
Take her back to basics.
- get her a PLAIN outfit (blank top, a pa... (read in full...)
She is comfortable being naked around me? So is she sexually attracted to me?
Q. She isn't an exhibitionist and I am not a creepy pervert or anything like that. I just happened to bump into her while she was naked a couple of times but she was cool about it. I thought she would avoid me or move out but she didn't. She acts as if ...
A. 3 December 2018: Best of luck, OP. Now you need to move on from your feelings, not pretend or hide them. Not telling her is only okay provided you get over them. I hope you can keep your friendship, but you need to avoid seeing her naked now and get rid of your ... (read in full...)
I had an affair with my boss
Q. I had an affair with my boss. We are both married. It was clearly an emotional affair for five years and then we crossed the line. I know it was wrong and there’s different reasons on both sides why we went down this path - not an excuse though. His ...
A. 3 December 2018: On another note: tell your husband. He deserves to know who he’s married to, so he can decide if he wants to stay married to you. Either way, a clean break from the married guy is necessary for you to move on - of course he won’t want you to because ... (read in full...)
Should I ask her out or wait until the divorce is final?
Q. I am very interested in asking out a woman with whom I have developed a nice freindship, including some flirting. The difficulty is that she recently filed for divorce. Some people say I should wait until it is final...others say go for it. I would ...
A. 3 December 2018: Don’t go for it yet. Divorces are usually very messy and can be quite drawn out, so wait until it’s finalised and add six months on to that waiting time. If you do it any sooner, you are asking for trouble. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 3 years doesn't want to have children. I dream of having them
Q. Hey everyone. So ive been with my boyfriend a year now and we started talking about kids i commented how good he is with his nephews and how hed make a great dad one day to which he said he doesnt want any children. This crushed me as he knew from ...
A. 3 December 2018: Look, you don’t have time to waste on guys who don’t want children. He’s 40 - you can’t try to change his mind or rely on him changing it. Ultimately, you are running out of time to have them biologically, but that doesn’t mean have one with someone ... (read in full...)
I had an affair with my boss
Q. I had an affair with my boss. We are both married. It was clearly an emotional affair for five years and then we crossed the line. I know it was wrong and there’s different reasons on both sides why we went down this path - not an excuse though. His ...
A. 2 December 2018: All I will add is: “It was clearly an emotional affair for five years and then we crossed the line“ is rubbish. You crossed the line when the emotional affair started, not when it went further.... (read in full...)
I work as a cam girl but don't want my boyfriend watching other cam girls
Q. I work as a cam girl on a website. This is actually my second job to make extra cash. My boyfriend was aware of this before we started dating. Few days back he thought that since I was working as a cam girl it made it ok for him to join one of t...
A. 2 December 2018: Yes, you are. Not many men will be okay with your job, especially if you’re okay to have other girls’ boyfriends pay to look at you, but not for your boyfriend to be one of those guys paying to look at other women doing your job.
Either it’s jus... (read in full...)
Parents moving- what should I do with my pet?
Q. Need some help please on a family related issue please.. My parents have been alcoholics since I was little and I had a hard upbringing. The only thing that really helped me growing up at home was having my pet dog alongside me (he's mine since...
A. 1 December 2018: You should have taken him with you to uni. There are doggy daycare centres, dog walkers and dogs who stay home alone for 8 hours a day. PLENTY of deaf-blind dogs have immensely happy lives, just like deaf-blind people. They just need committed o... (read in full...)
Trying to force me to have an abortion but still seeming to care.
Q. I have been in an on - off relationship for 2.5 years, mostly on, and very passionate. The man in question is an MD of a large company, but had just finished with his wife of 20 years when we started our relationship. He told me that they had been ...
A. 1 December 2018: I’m disappointed in the whole situation. It’s such a silly situation to be stuck in and a baby will suffer with two irresponsible and questionable adults as parents. Sort yourself out. This guy is unreliable and untrustworthy. If you keep this ba... (read in full...)
Why do people start dating when they are not over their exes?
Q. Or get into relationships for that matter. I'm dating a few guys at uni, and the number who are clearly just looking for a re bound or keep bringing up their exes is disgusting. And I know people who've even gotten into relationships with people, ...
A. 1 December 2018: In all fairness, some believe they are over their exes and something triggers it. Other times you may be reading more into it and they are over their ex, just mention them. Most of the time it’s loneliness, wanting to be over their ex or trying to ... (read in full...)
She is comfortable being naked around me? So is she sexually attracted to me?
Q. She isn't an exhibitionist and I am not a creepy pervert or anything like that. I just happened to bump into her while she was naked a couple of times but she was cool about it. I thought she would avoid me or move out but she didn't. She acts as if ...
A. 1 December 2018: Good luck, OP, just don’t back out of telling her your feelings. Whether she feels the same or not, you need to be honest and find out. Living together isn’t possible if one has feelings and the other doesn’t.... (read in full...)
She is comfortable being naked around me? So is she sexually attracted to me?
Q. She isn't an exhibitionist and I am not a creepy pervert or anything like that. I just happened to bump into her while she was naked a couple of times but she was cool about it. I thought she would avoid me or move out but she didn't. She acts as if ...
A. 29 November 2018: Look, there’s no friendship to throw away. You are infatuated (not in love). That means she’s not just a friend any more. While you have feelings for her, she’s just being friendly and you’re reading into everything.
There’s no friendship left bec... (read in full...)
Heartbreak - What are your best ways of getting over it?
Q. Hi there, Thank you for choosing my post and taking the time to respond. I ended it with a guy I had been with for two years, after he was abusive and disloyal. Simple question - how do I get over it quickly? I hate heartache so much and he...
A. 28 November 2018: Honestly? They’re feelings, so you can’t speed it up. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. Get busy. Find a new hobby or two. Join a club. Go travelling (doesn’t have to be abroad). Start learning knew things. Read new books. Just ... (read in full...)
She is comfortable being naked around me? So is she sexually attracted to me?
Q. She isn't an exhibitionist and I am not a creepy pervert or anything like that. I just happened to bump into her while she was naked a couple of times but she was cool about it. I thought she would avoid me or move out but she didn't. She acts as if ...
A. 28 November 2018: You need to stop putting yourself in situations where you’ll see her naked. If it can happen any time you’re in the house, then you need to set boundaries and ask her to wear clothes in shared areas of the house. If you won’t do that, then you’re ... (read in full...)
We've been together for 5 years and my partner just gets lazier and lazier
Q. Hi I’m in a relationship have been for 5 years now but my partner is getting lazier and lazier by the day he goes to work which is a very easy job I get up on a morning get our 2 kids up get them ready for school do breakfast get myself ready and ...
A. 26 November 2018: Why are you with a third child? Tell him to be an adult or move out. He doesn’t help financially or domestically, so make him or leave him. Seriously, OP; what is he teaching your kids? He’s getting worse because you’re allowing it.
“John... (read in full...)
She is comfortable being naked around me? So is she sexually attracted to me?
Q. She isn't an exhibitionist and I am not a creepy pervert or anything like that. I just happened to bump into her while she was naked a couple of times but she was cool about it. I thought she would avoid me or move out but she didn't. She acts as if ...
A. 26 November 2018: Just ask. She could just get off on walking around naked without actually wanting to be sexual with you. Maybe she just likes the attention and it’s an ego boost. To be honest, you won’t find a girlfriend if you keep “accidentally” seeing this woman ... (read in full...)
I married the man I was having an affair with and I am struggling with trust issues, and feeling anxious and worried everyday he will cheat on me.
Q. My husband left his former wife to marry me. I know that it does not usually end up this way and that we are in the minority but we fell in love. We have been together almost 5 years. He dissolved his marriage after 3 years of our being together and ...
A. 26 November 2018: Unfortunately, this is your karma. He betrayed his wife for 3 years and you were an accomplice in that, so neither of you can really trust each other. You fell in love? They all do - the mistresses, that is. It took 3 years before he decided you ... (read in full...)
My husband expects me to give him money to send home to his family every month
Q. Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. He is a charming man, shows affections and can be very expressive. I do love him , I just don’t like some traits he has. He doesn’t like to be questioned, and he gets ange...
A. 24 November 2018: When our family friend met a woman on his holiday to Thailand and married her a year or so later, he knew it’s their culture for the spouse to send money to their family back in Thailand, as well as often buy land for their family to build on. ... (read in full...)
Who is the cheater?
Q. If you have a baby with a man and he ditches you and then some years later you meet him again and he goes back to wanting to sex you again and you can't stop wanting to see him and then you find out he already has a girlfriend who he is still ...
A. 24 November 2018: Both. No doubt about it. Doesn’t matter how well he knows someone - stranger or ex, they’re both involved in the cheating.... (read in full...)
I want to end the relationship but I'm scared I'm pregnant
Q. Hi I’m in a relationship for 6 years we have a 3 yr old son lately all I think about is ending the relationship I’m not happy at all he does nothing for our child I do everything in the house I go to work and I look after our son the problem is I’m ...
A. 24 November 2018: 1) No more sex. You shouldn't have anyway, but you did. No more. 2) Do a few pregnancy tests. If you are pregnant, speak to a doctor about your options. It's not a baby yet; it's just an embryo, so there's no shame in having an early abortion b... (read in full...)
Is he interested in sex? Companionship? What?
Q. I’m utterly confused and would love your help. A man I’ve known for years has been texting me with cryptic messages. We live in different states. He asked me to visit him. I laughed it off. But he asked again and nowI know he’s serious. He teases ...
A. 24 November 2018: ASK.... (read in full...)
We had a threesome things went wrong and now my husband blames me
Q. After 20 yrs of marriage my husband asks for threesome, after two yrs we finally tell my friend that she is our threesome girl, my husband was madly in love with me, then I hear that she is coming over to visit during the day to smoke, then I notice ...
A. 24 November 2018: Unfortunately, you would have been better off coming here for advice before agreeing to the threesome, so we could have told you this would happen. We tell everyone this will most likely happen.... because it almost always does. This problem is your ... (read in full...)
What could be going on with this guy?
Q. So last year I was meeting this guy for a while (about 2 months) and to my shock he told me that he was going to prison. He had gotten mixed up with the wrong crowd something to do with drugs and he got sentenced. We agreed to not talk whilst he’s ...
A. 23 November 2018: Youcannotbeserious is spot on.
What proof do you have that he was in prison?
How do you KNOW he isn’t using drugs now?
How do you KNOW he has a proper job?
How do you KNOW he isn’t still involved with the wrong people?
HOW does he hav... (read in full...)
My boyfriend who is broke pretends to take control of my economy and my bank.
Q. Me (22) and my boyfriend (26) went on a trip that we didn´t plan. At first it seemed like a good idea because he was about to get some money for having quit his job, and someone was about to send him money that the person owed to me. I spent al...
A. 23 November 2018: You need to find a safe way to leave him. Speak to friends of family who can help you stay safe while planning to leave and report him to the police if he stole things. If you are too generous with boyfriends, especially if they aren’t generous ... (read in full...)
How do I get my gf to have sex with me again? If she doesn't, then how do I cope with not having sex?
Q. Hello everybody I have been with my girl for a year. we love each other. but since from early on our sex life has been pretty minimal. only when she drinks she initiates sex. but now she doesn’t drink we have talked about it and she says she...
A. 22 November 2018: Be romantic and affectionate, if she likes that - not in the hopes you’ll get sex, but just to show her love. In a week or so, when you haven’t mentioned sex, jams her KINDLY and SENSITIVELY why she isn’t interested in sex. Don’t whine. Don’t blame. ... (read in full...)
She's 18, I'm 25. Am I a creep for talking to her?
Q. I've been doing some online speed dating to fire up my social life. Recently I met a girl (and fellow foodie). It was almost too easy to small talk my way to a date this Thursday. The problem is, she is 18... She just finished highschool and is ...
A. 21 November 2018: You’re not creepy for talking to her, but you are too old for her, in my opinion. You’re at two different life stages and she’s only just starting her adult life. I think you’d be her first serious relationship and that’s a lot of pressure. I think ... (read in full...)
I'm extremely insecure about my inverted nipple!
Q. Hello. My question is personal and I'm embarrassed to ask it. I have nice boobs, except one nipple is inverted. I've tried nipple correctors and even had an inpatient surgery a few years ago but nothing's corrected it. I've always been very self ...
A. 20 November 2018: It is NOT ugly. IT IS A NIPPLE! Jerks are jerks. Speak to the boyfriend. If he doesn't want to pay both boobs attention, get rid of him. There will be guys who will LOVE your boobs - BOTH of them. Do not settle for someone who doesn't love ALL of ... (read in full...)
My insecure girlfriend hacked into my social media to spy on me and I don't feel good about our relationship now
Q. My girlfriend recently opened up that she has trust issues and that she hacked into my instagram just to spy on me. She felt so because I have more female friends compared to men, but the thing is this has been the case with me since childhood. She ...
A. 20 November 2018: If this was a year ago and she apologised, never doing it again, I’d forgive her. Doing it recently and having such an attitude about it all? She needs help with that and it probably won’t work well if you stay with her.... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and can't get over feeling the same way every day that I am a failure
Q. Hi all. I am 15 years old, approaching GCSE's and I'm under an onslaught of problems. My first is that I appear to be *VERY* unattractive (and not only just my apparent bad looks reinforce this). From what I've heard, seen and experienced peop...
A. 19 November 2018: Oh, OP :( Being a teenager is hard. Please try to take in the advice you get, even though you won't want to.
- Crushes when you're young only last a week or a couple of months, unless they become obsessive and last almost a year or more. It's not... (read in full...)
I think he's going through a midlife crisis he went to Thailand and met a girl and he doesn't know that I know
Q. I have been dating a man for over a year who has just recently gone through a divorce. (Nothing to do with me). I felt he used me as a punching bag as he was very angry about the divorce although I knew he loved me. He stopped speaking to me f...
A. 19 November 2018: I'm sorry, but you know you need to let go and move on - that's why you don't want us to tell you it. This isn't a midlife crisis - that's buying something "silly" or getting a tattoo/piercing impulsively, etc. not cheating on your girlfriend.
... (read in full...)
Could this work out for us in the future or should I forget about him?
Q. So I told my friend that I liked him and he told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. I was really scared that our friendship was going to be ruined but luckily we're still pretty good friends cause he didn't want to ruin the friendship ...
A. 19 November 2018: Forget about it. Move on with your life. If it's meant to happen, it will do, but don't wait around for it.... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him about my concerns? Or just cool things?
Q. Hi all, wanting some relationship/life advice please! I split up from a long term relationship back in June this year. I lived with him for 3 years, we were together about 3.5 years and it ended badly with no closure. I was very much in love wit...
A. 18 November 2018: Stop. No, seriously. Drugs are a bad idea. He’s also a few years older, which makes a difference at your age. Please, I know you don’t want to hear it, but you can’t change him and you will have to give up at some point. Don’t wait until your ... (read in full...)
Been out a few times but I got Cancelled on, was this the right response?
Q. As the title said, we've been out a few times already. Hasn't really been much of a spark but it seems like given time it could go somewhere. However this last time I asked her out I was cancelled on, not last minute but still cancelled on ...
A. 18 November 2018: So, the guys think one thing and the women think another (based off the first 3 responses, CW, N91 & HP) plus me:
I think you should give her a chance to reschedule, but only a week. If she doesn't by then, don't text her again, just accept i... (read in full...)
She broke up with me because I lied about my drinking. I want to get her back!
Q. I got a tough deal.. So my girlfriend just broke up with me, beacause ive continuously lied to her about my drinking. Which is a problem. I don’t blame her for breaking up with me at all, but of coarse i didnt want that. okay the thing is we ...
A. 18 November 2018: Maybe she will come back, but I hope she doesn't even consider it until you have been COMPLETELY sober for over a year. That means going to AA meetings regularly. No excuses, no lying, no relationship, just focus on AA.
5 years, 25 years or 50 ye... (read in full...)
I've fallen hard for him but do I wait?
Q. Hey Cupids :) I've been single for 2 years. A few months ago, I started talking to a guy who I first met 3 years ago. He's now single, but is still very affected by his break-up (from 5/6 months ago-I think they were together a couple of years....
A. 18 November 2018: Honeypie said what I was thinking. I disagree with the other poster's opinion on never letting people in your life if they have mental health issues, though. Yes, mental illnesses are very serious, but should people with them just be alone until ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend throw my things away without even asking me!
Q. My boyfriend keeps throwing my things away without asking me or, worse, even after I have told him not to. We live in a relatively small flat and don’t have a lot of space so he thinks it’s ok to just throw things away that he thinks are taking up ...
A. 17 November 2018: You know how he is. Do you stay and accept it or leave and keep your stuff?
Coupons? Keep them in your purse - leaving them out is clutter.
CDs? Buy a CD case that holds all of the discs in and get rid of the cases if you don’t have room for a ... (read in full...)
Are LDR's real relationships, even if you haven't met them yet?
Q. Hello, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a man. He is from the US, and is 21 years old, and I am from the UK, and am 18 years old. We met online, and have been together for a couple of months now. We are still going strong...
A. 17 November 2018: OP, it’s hard to hear when you’re sure of everything, but it’s not going to change the advice and opinions. I’ve been in a strong LDR, but you still won’t listen. That’s okay because it’s up to you what you do, but that doesn’t mean our opinions or ... (read in full...)
I'd like to apologize to someone that I still like even though he now has a girlfriend. Should I and if so how?
Q. I think someone who I still have feelings for lives in my area and has recently moved here with his girlfriend,he is aware of where I live and doesn't like me due to what happened between us which I just accept and have learnt from it . I may be ...
A. 16 November 2018: You still like him and he’s not single, so no, you shouldn’t contact him.... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin after finger sex?
Q. i had figer sex with my guy for some week, he only used one of his figer, i did not see any blood when he was doing it, but have stop it i want to no if am stil a vigin becos i have never had opposit sex with him. thanks ...
A. 14 November 2018: Yes you are, but please use the internet to educate yourself on sex before you put your mouth on each other or put his penis inside you. You need to have condoms ready for EVERY time and be on birth control EVERY DAY. Do not have sex until you have ... (read in full...)
Are LDR's real relationships, even if you haven't met them yet?
Q. Hello, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a man. He is from the US, and is 21 years old, and I am from the UK, and am 18 years old. We met online, and have been together for a couple of months now. We are still going strong...
A. 12 November 2018: As someone who has been in a serious LDR, you have to be able to visit for a couple of weeks every few months (or similar) or you’re not really in each other’s lives enough to form a proper connection and know that it’s worth the risk of one of you ... (read in full...)
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