New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244945 questions, 1084256 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*ndie's Thoughts agony aunt

*ndie's Thoughts

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *ndie's Thoughts to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *ndie's Thoughts a private message

*ndie's Thoughts's Ratings
Excellent66%
Average10%
Poor24%
*ndie's Thoughts's profile:

I'm Andie and I'm surviving life until I can really start to live it :)

Karma does happen:

My dad was a married woman's other guy for only a few weeks (about a decade before my mum met him), then realised he wasn't okay with helping her betray her husband. His friend became her other guy, husband came home while they were at it, the guy jumped out of the window and the husband knew, so grabbed a bicycle, chased him and punched him once, going 20mph, so it knocked him out. A couple of relationships later, after getting £15,000 in debt to help a woman leave her abusive husband and getting in a relationship with her, my dad came back from a holiday with his parents and found her with another guy.

< Prev678910111213141516Next > [69 pages, 2723 answers]

Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.

Q.   I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...

A.   12 January 2019: Either find a new job or stop contacting him for work. If you “can’t” stop contacting him for work, find a new job. If you don’t, you’ll cave in and waste your life.... (read in full...)

Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.

Q.   I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...

A.   7 January 2019: Why invite him over? He's a cheater - he deserves a text, not a phone call or a visit, where he can try to manipulate you into staying by crying. You are an ego boost. You are a sex object. You are a bit on the side. To someone else, you will be ... (read in full...)

Should I ask an 18 year old out or is she too young for me?

Q.   I’m a single mum with a toddler and after over two years of being single i decided last week to put myself back out there. I’m bisexual and while on a dating site I started talking to a girl who I like. My problem is that I’m nervous about getting ...

A.   1 January 2019: Different life stages. You need someone who has potential for a future sometime soon, but she’s only just beginning adulthood and should be able to explore life freely while she’s young. I think it would be best to be friends, not date her. She’s ... (read in full...)

I'm sick of him screaming at me night and day. Should I leave? What if I don't find anyone else?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend since I was 18, I'm now 26 and we've lived together for 3 years. In truth I feel like he is my 'comfort blanket' - I feel safe around him, he makes good decisions etc. And looks after me, I feel safe having him there, And ...

A.   1 January 2019: You are never too old to travel, but you will waste time if you’re not happy. Forget being married by 30; it’s not important. If he can’t see this issue, he can’t change it and you won’t be happy.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend went behind my back and told my parents about our future plans. Am I right to be hurt?

Q.   Hi everyone I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 2 years, the majority of this has been long distance (10 hour flight). We've been trying to find ways to close the distance and one way is to get married so i can sponsor her. I felt ...

A.   1 January 2019: You aren’t ready to get married. Simple as that. It’s a lot to commit to. Tell her you’re not ready. Don’t go along with it just because she is ready to. It’s not right to cave because it leads her on, just like it’s not right for her to tell your ... (read in full...)

Should I take note of our horoscopes? The Chinese one says we are incompatible!

Q.   This probably seems silly but I have been reading Chinese horoscopes and compatability with my boyfriend and they say we are not suited. It says his soul mate Chinese animal was a horse and his ex wife was one, yet my animal is the least compatible ...

A.   31 December 2018: Horoscopes are good for a laugh, not for life advice. Think about how many people there are on the planet. Do you really think horoscopes are accurate? It's by chance that things are sometimes correct. If you want to believe it, you will find a way ... (read in full...)

My husband is abusive and I wonder what I'm doing wrong to provoke him

Q.   Hello, I have been married to my husband for 5 years. We have been together for 12 years. We have a 11 year old together. I so have 3 older kids. But he normally only tells people he has one child. He has always had a temper but it has gotten worse. ...

A.   31 December 2018: He does only have one child. Most guys who become stepdads would say they have four, in your situation, but he's not like that. It's hurtful to your other kids, if they care and see him as a father figure. Him getting fast food isn't an issue, b... (read in full...)

Is his reaction to these comments a red flag?

Q.   Hey guys! Hope everyone is well :) I recently entered into a new relationship. We've been "dating" for the last 2 months, and official for the last month. We have also already entered the "I Love You" phase. Everything moved very quickly, bu...

A.   30 December 2018: I think it’s nice that he’s saying that - he’s trying to build you up and seems to be truthful that he feels that way about you. I’d like a boyfriend to say things like that if people were saying mean things to me. That said, maybe it’s too soon for ... (read in full...)

Does he like me more than a FWB?

Q.   2 Months ago, a man and I arranged to "Hook up" after matching on Tinder, things went well. Afterwards, I carried on as usual, assuming It was just a "One night stand". 2 weeks after our "Hook up" He had asked me to become his Friends With ...

A.   30 December 2018: Ask. You could still be friends *with benefits*, rather than the casual hook up you expected. Either way, you need to be on the same page, so you need to ask before any more sex.... (read in full...)

Accused of being antisocial for turning down a guy?

Q.   My dad loves to accuse me of being anti social and saying "that's why you have no friends". We were at a friends place and there is a single guy there who I see a couple times a year. We aren't friends (acquaintances) and we do not share interests. ...

A.   30 December 2018: I get that they’re concerned if you’re social circle is mostly just your boyfriend, but I also agree with why you said no to going alone to a concert with a friend you’re not that well-matched with. Maybe start arranging things once or twice per ... (read in full...)

I know I deserve better, so why am I so sad?

Q.   I'm angry and sad. 5 days before I'm supposed to move into an apartment with my boyfriend he gets cold feet and tells me he doesn't think it's a good idea and says he wants to end the relationship. He confesses to me that he couldn't be hims...

A.   30 December 2018: Unfortunately, our feelings don’t automatically fade because of incompatibility. It’s okay to miss him and be upset about it. I think you dodged a bullet because 8 months is usually a bit too soon to move in anyway, as you’re still pretty new to ... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   29 December 2018: You are a new boyfriend, OP. Almost every relationship seems amazing at 6 - 18 months. You are NOT her partner; you are DATING and decided to move in. If her kids go without, it’s HER duty to deal with it. If YOU do it, she can’t cope without being ... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   29 December 2018: Don't take on supporting her kids until you've been together for a few years. She needs to be responsible for herself and them, while you split the house bills. You're not their dad and it would be silly to act like it when you're still so new on ... (read in full...)

Older man wont leave his girlfriend for me.

Q.   I started an emotional and physical affair with a man I work with around this time last year. He started seeing someone about 3/4 months before me and him started talking. He's 15 years older than me,I'm 32 he's 47. We connected on a level I never ...

A.   28 December 2018: You’ve been gullible and lied to. Don’t “date” married people. It’s as old as time and there are plenty of examples on here. I’m sorry, OP, but it’s the very high risk you take when you get into an affair.... (read in full...)

How can I ask my family to back off from my pregnant girlfriend?

Q.   I’ve been dating my gf for 6 months. My family met her for the first time over the holidays and they weren’t very welcoming. When we met she had just found out she was pregnant. She also has a two year daughter. She left her ex because he was chea...

A.   28 December 2018: Be upfront with your plans. Get it out the way. They’ll either accept it over time or they won’t. You’re still young, so it’s a lot to take on with someone you barely know, but it’s up to you - it just means you need to accept their reaction more ... (read in full...)

My ex saw my hairy nipples! Is that enough to end years of great sex?

Q.   The other night I ran into my ex while drunk and went home with him. It was spontaneous and so I didn’t have time to “prepare” myself for him.. I didn’t sleep with him that night (although he tried, persistently) but everything seemed as it was...

A.   27 December 2018: Um.... you’re not in it for the sex. You said it felt like when you were in love, but he’s not any more and you are. Forget it and move on before you get hurt. There’s no relationship left. I’m sorry it’s blunt, but it’s true :/... (read in full...)

We had a fight my children's present are at my boyfriend's house and he won't let me get them

Q.   My boyfriend ruins every Christmas and I don't know what to do. We went last minute shopping today which was his idea. In a supermarket he said he needed the toilet so I decided to cash in a scratch card while I was waiting. The till is right by...

A.   24 December 2018: Why are you with him? What’s the point? Take a friend to get the presents. If he refuses, call the police (non-emergency number). Then break up.... (read in full...)

My friend has gotten himself involved with a bad girl and I want to help him but unsure what to do

Q.   I'm worried about a guy friend as he's got himself involved with a girl who is bad news. Hes started distancing himself from everyone who's warning him and is distancing himself from close friends She's a complete bitch sorry to say - take a mon...

A.   24 December 2018: Guy friend or girl friend, your all adults. He will do what he wants and you can either be there if it goes wrong or not be there. Either way, drop it or you’ll find yourself kicked out of his life before her.... (read in full...)

He wants to spend the rest of his life with me but without marriage.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We have a child together. We are both divorced. We both have children from the marriages. We are in a serous relationship. He has talked about us getting a home together. He has said more than ...

A.   23 December 2018: To be honest, this is about your child. Your children from other relationships had that security, even if you got divorced - this child won't. I am curious why you'd have a baby together so soon, though - seems a bit irresponsible, to be honest. ... (read in full...)

My friend has been asking why she can't get a partner. Should I tell her what I think?

Q.   Hello Aunts and Uncles! My friend recently started asking me seriously (up until now it was purely rhetorical) why she can't find a partner. Should I tell her what I think? It's just an opinion, I'm not a shrink. I'm afraid that she migh...

A.   23 December 2018: If she asks for your opinion, be honest, but sensitive about it. Don’t talk about her flaws, just say something like “it may be worth giving single guys a chance who aren’t as wealthy and you might find a loyal partner who mutually likes you”. Don’t ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to be a semi-reclusive artist and still contribute something of value to the local town? Please share similar experiences!

Q.   Has anyone here got any experience of settling in a new country where you don't speak the language and are not sure how to fit in? I am thinking of buying a 2nd home - which I will spend about 6 months of the year in. I know that sounds extravaga...

A.   22 December 2018: All I can suggest is to visit for a holiday after contacting some British ex-pats around the area to see them and ask how they’ve adjusted.... (read in full...)

I do not want my kids to inherit my partner's health problems!

Q.   I am in a moral dilemma. My partner has some health conditions such as endometriosis, which means she has a harder time falling pregnant with a chance of not falling pregnant at all. She has other minor health conditions which after thinking about ...

A.   21 December 2018: Unless there’s an incredibly high chance of passing it on, which there isn’t, this is worrying for no reason. I have it, but nobody else in my family does. What they did pass down? The need for glasses and also arthritis. Arthritis has been hitting ... (read in full...)

I have a crush, should I add him on Facebook?

Q.   Hello, I'm starting to have a crush on a guy I met a few months ago. I felt a strong connection when I met him and during a few other times I saw him. Although, I barely spoke to him much. I just like being around him. I recently felt a strong gu...

A.   20 December 2018: You want to connect with a guy you have a crush on? Sure, go for it! Oh, wait.... YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND. Stop being silly. You’d hate it if your boyfriend was “connecting” with a girl he has a crush on.... (read in full...)

He puts sex before my needs. Is it time to walk away?

Q.   My partner and I have been in a relationship for just over 3 years and have a two year old child. I’ve been struggling to hang onto our relationship for a while but when I try to tell him what I need in the relationship he makes it out as if he’s ...

A.   18 December 2018: He puts sex before your needs because you allow it. You’re effectively a single mother, so tell him to step up or you’ll leave him. Your daughter doesn’t need breastfeeding any more, so wean her off and sleep more. Use her time at nursery to recover ... (read in full...)

I'm waiting for someone who clearly doesn't want me

Q.   I met this guy a year ago and we’ve sort of been in and out of each other’s lives since. He’s struggled with his feelings and knowing what he wants, I finally thought we were in the same place but he completely backed off, saying that his heart an...

A.   18 December 2018: He is who he is. He isn't going to change any time soon. Just do it. Delete and block. Get it done, then it's done. It's hard, but you will forget and 6 months will have gone by. Just move on with your life and take him at his word that it's not ... (read in full...)

I feel overwhelmed with empathy for older folk

Q.   Has any of you felt ever overwhelmed by empathy towards elderly people who are suffering? Ever since I was a kid, I've been helping out elderly people in my neighborhood without being told to do so. I always felt such a strong sadness whene...

A.   18 December 2018: I'm a carer for elderly people. Lots of people have empathy for them, but you don't always see it. Are you volunteering? There a charities that arrange for you to visit them for companionship for an hour or so per week/month.... (read in full...)

I like my friend's twin brother, will she think I am weird?

Q.   I am in 8th grade and have a friend in 9th grade... she has a twin brother and I really like him... I've seen him staring back at me and I think he likes me back but I'm not sure. I want to ask her but I don't want things to be weird; especially if ...

A.   18 December 2018: Guys have "bros before hoes" and girls have "sisters before misters" = friends before girls/guys - neutrally: "mates before dates". Your friendship is more important than a crush on her twin that will pass because of your age. If you and her brot... (read in full...)

I sent the online guy my nude photos and initiated phone sex. Will he lose respect for me?

Q.   I have been talking to a guy I met on the internet for about 3 months. We have always had great conversation, we like each other alot. We skype, phone call, text, IM, etc every day. Last week, I made the decision to finally start talking about sex. ...

A.   16 December 2018: Well, nude photos are a terrible and naive idea. Let’s hope if/when you break up he doesn’t post them to friends or online. Seriously, OP - nudity is for in person, not losing control of on the phone or computer. Please don’t do it again - it’s ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend refuses to use his sex toys with me

Q.   Hi I'm having a sexual problem with my boyfriend any advice you could give would be helpful thanks.. My boyfriend never tells me what he likes in bed he always says he likes what we are doing.. The thing is I know he likes porn actually I think it...

A.   15 December 2018: He sounds embarrassed by them, so leave it alone. Trust that you’re enough for sex and the toys are for him to use on his own. There’s no issue with that.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is obsessed with sex!

Q.   My boyfriend is obsessed with sex! He constantly tells about sex, tries it on.even when I have been ill. I had a colopscopy procedure a few months ago and it was meant to be 6 weeks recovery time..after a few days he told me I should be having s...

A.   13 December 2018: Unfortunately, the only way forward is: get rid of him or accept that you will only ever be a sex doll to him. You can’t complain if you stay because you know he won’t change.... (read in full...)

I've grown to care for a sex worker that I see and feel I want to be more than her friend

Q.   Dear Cupid, I've been seeing a prostitute for some time now. When I started seeing her, I was in a very bad place emotionally (borderline depression, work pressure, family issues). We didn't have sex on the first few "dates". We mainly talked an...

A.   12 December 2018: It’s not the right time for you to date. You need to seek therapy until you’re mentally well again. You can’t be in a healthy relationship without being mentally healthy yourself. Not only that, but what if she dates you and keeps her job? Wha... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and my friend isn't supportive

Q.   I am pregnant and so excited about it but my best friend isn't really happy for me and keeps saying all the wrong things time after time. I've told her I don't need her input but she just won't shut up. The worst thing is she thinks she is my...

A.   12 December 2018: If it’s because of your age and unstable life situation (again, just a natural age thing), then I don’t blame her for not being over the moon. That said, if it’s not that, then it’s none of her business. Even if it is about age, you’ll just have to ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is obsessed with sex!

Q.   My boyfriend is obsessed with sex! He constantly tells about sex, tries it on.even when I have been ill. I had a colopscopy procedure a few months ago and it was meant to be 6 weeks recovery time..after a few days he told me I should be having s...

A.   12 December 2018: Then break up with him; he’s a jerk. You know he’s manipulative, so no point staying. If you stay, you’re bringing it on yourself because you know what he’s like.... (read in full...)

Should I include her son for the first date or should it just be between the two of us?

Q.   So a while back I met a woman through my sister-in-law. We've been talking on the phone a lot, and met up for lunch a couple times since we work near each other. It's obvious there's a chemistry between us. I'd like to ask her out. She has a ...

A.   12 December 2018: You still barely know each other. Children need stability. Until 6+ months of exclusivity, they shouldn’t really have met you, unless as a group you were both at BY CHANCE. First several dates should be the two of you only.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is obsessed with sex!

Q.   My boyfriend is obsessed with sex! He constantly tells about sex, tries it on.even when I have been ill. I had a colopscopy procedure a few months ago and it was meant to be 6 weeks recovery time..after a few days he told me I should be having s...

A.   12 December 2018: It’s abusive - whether he means to be or not. No man can force you to have sex unless it’s rape. Learn to say NO and stick to it - someone who loves you will not manipulate you into it. You are not a sex object and you need to tell him that. If he ... (read in full...)

My younger boyfriend just asked me to marry him

Q.   I'm 31 years old woman divorced with 2 kids one of whom have a a disability. I've stayed away from relationships all together because my life is not easy and I have my priorities. Lately, a younger man started to show interest in me, he is 5 ...

A.   9 December 2018: Nope. You’ve tried pushing him away for good reason. What you’ve learnt is that he doesn’t listen. He may be a nice guy, but he’s not ready for a serious relationship with an older (than him) mother of two, let alone engagement. OP, he has a cr... (read in full...)

I want to talk to a boy on the swimming team but don't know how

Q.   so I'm on a swim team with a boy that I really like but I don't know how to talk to him without sounding like an idiot/jerk, please help!...

A.   8 December 2018: If he’s your age, go for it. If not, let it go. Just find a time when a conversation would naturally start, like waiting around before/afterwards. “Hey, how long have you been swimming here?” and try to carry on a short conversation about your joint ... (read in full...)

I am thinking of taking our 2 month old son and leaving my husband. How can I get him to man up?

Q.   I regret married to my husband. I regret ignoring all the red flag about him. I regret i dont take the advice from my friends and aunties here. Now im living miserably everyday worrying about what will he did. He is manipulative, selfish and path...

A.   8 December 2018: No hope left while you stay with the guy. Plenty of hope left for you and your son. Show your son strength and determination. Show him how to look after yourselves when things get tough. Do not stay with this man. What you do now will be ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend likes me to do the same things as porn stars but I don't want to

Q.   My boyfriend wanted to try something new and now wants it all the time. He likes when I kneel in front of him with my mouth open and tongue sticking out, then he cums on my face and in my mouth and tells me to swallow as much as I can like they do ...

A.   7 December 2018: Find a job (any job) or move out. Your current job is prostitute to your boyfriend. Do NOT do ANYTHING you don’t want to. What he likes in porn is degrading to anyone who doesn’t like it. He is degrading you and you feel you need to do it. Tell him ... (read in full...)

How do I get my mistress to return to me?

Q.   Hi I am a male of 48 yrs - since 2 yrs I am with a mistress of 42 yrs - Now she is afraid of her home to be broken - leaving me alone - I use to buy a lot of things for her. Now How can I convince her to return with me ?...

A.   6 December 2018: If you are married, stop. If she is married, stop. You can’t trust her not to find a new boyfriend if she comes “back” to you (she can’t come “back” to you because she’s her husband’s, not yours). Find a lady who is not married. You would not like ... (read in full...)

How can I be subtle and hint that I'd like him to ask me to the prom?

Q.   I really want to go to prom with this guy. He means a lot to me and so I really want to go this dance together because I think we can take our relationship to the next level if he takes me. he is a really amazing guy that i've been flirting on...

A.   6 December 2018: Probably best to wait until it’s relevant - like when prom starts being mentioned properly. Also, as HoneyPie says, you’re not in a relationship to “take to the next level”; you’re not even sure he definitely likes you that way - you just like fli... (read in full...)

Do you think it’s wrong to talk to my mom about the breast augumentation she had and has hidden from me?

Q.   Do you think it’s wrong to talk to my mom about the breast augmentantion she had and has hiden from me? My mom since I know her she is “strugling financially” she never has money, ever gives me enough money, I mean the most she gave me when gro...

A.   6 December 2018: Be grateful you got $5 per month and now $20 per month - you’re an adult; you should be sharing costs, of anything, not her paying you! You are also being selfish. You are dependent on her, so appreciate the fact you have a home. I know it’s a h... (read in full...)

Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?

Q.   I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...

A.   5 December 2018: With social media, you should only monitor it as far as you can without needing her password or snooping through her messages - ie seeing what she posts, but nothing more than that. If she’s capable and enjoys the role, then it’s YOUR behaviou... (read in full...)

Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?

Q.   I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...

A.   4 December 2018: Stop giving her money without her earning it through chores, and start teaching your son before he ends up like her. Alpha parenting is unhelpful, but so is giving them everything and not teaching them how to look after themselves.... (read in full...)

Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?

Q.   I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...

A.   4 December 2018: If you don’t teach, she won’t learn. I was taught, so I learnt. My brother wasn’t taught, so he didn’t learn. It wasn’t until he went to uni that he realised had to learn. Take her back to basics. - get her a PLAIN outfit (blank top, a pa... (read in full...)

*ndie's Thoughts's friends

These are mutual friends, so *ndie's Thoughts has added them and they have added *ndie's Thoughts!

Abella agony auntAbella
N91 agony auntN91

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.140639200006262!