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*ls77

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I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?

Q.   I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...

A.   25 January 2011: No, I didn't explain why I would feel "cheated" on, both because I find it very complicated and thereby difficult to explain, and because I already have tried to describe it a bit. Your guess did not hit the bulls eye, but it was absolutely not a ... (read in full...)

(Why) do women prefer bad boys?

Q.   I've got a new question for you, inspired by another post... One for the ladies, and one for the men :) When I range my friends on a scale from bad-boy til decent, and compare it with their success with dating (not necessary including happy ...

A.   25 January 2011: Thanks to everone that contributed :) I guess there is SOME truth in this afterall, at least for some people, but point taken for the distinction between SEEMING and BEING. I guess my answer did imply that shy=nice, but I don't think this... (read in full...)

I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?

Q.   I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...

A.   13 January 2011: Chigirl: (takk for tilbakemeldingene) You're right, the world isn't black/white, but some people (including me...) have a tendency to (at least sometimes) view it in black/white. However, regarding religion I have seen (felt) how much misery t... (read in full...)

My friend doesn't simply cancel, he goes silent!

Q.   I have a male friend who I have a purely platonic friendship with. I've known him about 18 months and in that time we have had quite a few arguments. Its always regarding us arranging to meet and him then blowing me out. I appreciate people are busy ...

A.   11 January 2011: I have some friends who are always late, and that irritates me, but at least they show up... Have you confronted him with it? I can only think of one acceptable (???) reason of him blowing you of and going silent, and that is if he has severely... (read in full...)

Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?

Q.   I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...

A.   10 January 2011: Illithid has a good point: How can one expect guys to be decent when so many women treat decent men like shit and (apparently) prefer disrespectal jerks? (this is generalising, or at least I hope so). If I scale my friends from most disrespe... (read in full...)

If I'm such a great catch why do women not seem to be interested in me?

Q.   I'm 25, single and sick of being so lonely. I've never had a girlfriend or even so much as dated anyone. I'm a decent guy, am told I'm good looking, have a college degree, have a stable job and a good group of friends. If I'm such a great catch ...

A.   10 January 2011: Seeing which of my friends have the most luck in dating/relationships, I am tempted to advice you to become a bad-boy... I get were you're coming from, since I had my first (and only) GF aged 25. I guess a main quality that women like is confiden... (read in full...)

What are motives for just wanting to be friends after a serious relationship ends?

Q.   I wrote about this before, and now It’s been a week since my boyfriend ended things. He says he just wants to be friends with me, that he doesn’t feel those girlfriend/boyfriend feelings for me. He told me he’s not in love with me and that I would ...

A.   10 January 2011: I replied to your post before, but I can do it again :) You have two choices (I will not mention the "move along" since it seems this is not an option for you right now): 1) Give him time to think and sort out his feelings. Maybe your relation... (read in full...)

A bump inside my breast! Is this normal?

Q.   Dear Cupid, Im a 16 yr old normal teen. I've recently started feeling my breast and noticed there was like a bump inside my breast. Whenever i put my finger on that certain area, i can feel the bump. Im super worried because i have no idea what it ...

A.   10 January 2011: Have you visited a self-exam-site? There were recently a program on TV in Norway about breast-cancer and the conclusion about self-exam were: 1) there are bumps in ALL breasts (this does NOT necessary mean that you have cancer), 2) to avoid ... (read in full...)

Why are men players?

Q.   Why are men Players??? Why do they have a daytime girl and a nite time girl?? ...

A.   10 January 2011: I'm sorry, but I have to correct you: Why are SOME men players... I have asked myself the same question after watching some (few) of my male friends. I guess the answer has to do with the sexual appetite and (more important?) a disrepect of women... (read in full...)

I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?

Q.   I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...

A.   10 January 2011: Chigirl: As a general rule two persons does not have to be "identical" to be a good match, however everyone have certain criteria that are (more or less) mandatory. The most typical being gender, age, race, religion etc. For a devoted christian a re... (read in full...)

I feel I have no choice but to leave him and move on

Q.   Hi, I have been thinking for a while now and feel it is time to move on with my life and break up with my boyfriend. i love him a lot but they way we are with each other is very unhealthy. He says he hates me and i tell him he needs to stop bu...

A.   9 January 2011: Love is (at least sometimes) irrational, I guess that is why some women are unable to leave an abusive husband even though they know they should... If your BF says he hates you, then I don't see any reason for why you should be together (it is o... (read in full...)

I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?

Q.   I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...

A.   9 January 2011: CindyCares: Ok, I will try stop quoting Marylin French... hehe (no problem, I also have problems keeping my tongue in check) Yes, I have a very black and white vision regarding sex. And there are an ocean between the extremes, and I have bee... (read in full...)

I had a surgical procedure, am I still a virgin?

Q.   Hi. I just want to know if im still a virgin coz i was curious i did put my finger on my vagina (masturbate) a lot of times. does this means im not virgin anymore? im 26 and dont have any experience so im curious that's y do the masturba...

A.   9 January 2011: I assume your question is based upon a wish to be "pure" for your (future) husband/BF. If so, then I don't think that any men cares about the technical term of virginity, but about your sexual experience. I don't think there are any men who think ... (read in full...)

Wife's past still hurts me 25 years later

Q.   Please Help Me it hurts Till Today from 25 Years ago. Back in my Twenty's I was Friends with a Group of Guys We did all kinds of things together. But mostly Party And Look for Girls. I met a very nice Girl who was a Virgin We dated few Months I ...

A.   9 January 2011: First I want to say shame on you to all the other comments! This man is pouring out his heart, and you refuse his right to have such feelings? You may strongly disagree with him and even be provoced by his feelings, but that does not give you the ... (read in full...)

It's been 10 days after our date and my neighbor still hasn't called!

Q.   I asked my neighbor out for drinks because I was noticing him looking at me and saying hi. I asked him out because he seemed shy and I was becoming impatient plus Xmas and new years were approaching. I didn't know if he was excited about the date ...

A.   9 January 2011: You took the initiative because you wondered if he was shy, and now you expect him to overcome his shyness and take the next move? :) Money can of course be an issue, but I guess it is more likely to be his shyness or lack of interest. I ... (read in full...)

Are guys losing respect for girls today than in the past?

Q.   I know the guy I am with does not act like this what so ever, but is it just me, or am I getting the feeling that now a days, men expect girls to bend over and give themselves to them? Are guys really loosing respect for females now a days? ...

A.   9 January 2011: Aren't people in general losing respect for each other? I think we are caught up in our own selfishness and self-realization that respect for other people and their feelings are put aside ("it is my life and thereby my choice, no one can judge me")... (read in full...)

Tainted goods?

Q.   If a girl had sex for 1 or 2 minutes with another man and stopped and this was the only sexual encunter that she has ever had and knew what she did was wrong. Then was loyal to her husband after that for the rest of her lfe would that make her ...

A.   9 January 2011: A few generations ago most people would have answered yes , but in our generation most people would say no... There is no correct answer to this question, because this is a question of morality. I suppose the question is based on a "wait until ma... (read in full...)

I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?

Q.   I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...

A.   9 January 2011: Miamine: I see I have been a little unclear about the identity part. My identity does not lie in being a virgin as such, but in having sex only with one person (i.e. wait until the marriage). So having sex, in marriage, does not change my identity... (read in full...)

Why can't I fully get over my ex?

Q.   Why can't I fully get over my ex? I personally feel deep inside that she is the one, or at least who she was to me was the one. Like for me the way my ex is now, drinking, partying and even doing other stuff has really turned me off from her. But if ...

A.   7 January 2011: If she wants to have you as a friend, then I think you have the right (or even duty!) to adress the issue if you think she has a drinking problem. That's what friends do! However, doing so, you should be careful and behave as a friend (since she has ... (read in full...)

Past experience is spoiling my new relationship, am I right to worry?

Q.   Can someone tell me how to get over my insecurities about being played. I have just entered a relationship with a guy I've been nuts about for a long time. He says he has about me too. The relationship has been going to happen for a while, an...

A.   7 January 2011: If you are very insecure and very wounded, then I guess you should not try to make sure he is not a "bad boy". There are of course no guarantees in love, but some people treat people with great respect and will go the extra mile to lessen the blow, ... (read in full...)

I froze him out and I feel bad about it

Q.   Recently I stopped talking to an old coworker. I'm not exactly sure why I did it either. We were both laid off on the same day from the same company. When we worked together before, we were work mates and friendly. He would confide in me about his ...

A.   7 January 2011: I don't know you, him or much about your situation so I might be wrong, but here are some thaughts :) Loosing your job must be very hard (him watching soccer all day may have been a desperate try to not think about having lost his job...),... (read in full...)

Would any men be weirded out that their girlfriend donated her eggs?

Q.   I've been considering donating my eggs and have been "preliminarily accepted," meaning that I've filled out my application and sent pictures; and now they want to interview me face-to-face. While I've considered all aspects of it and now that I'm ...

A.   7 January 2011: I think it is mature and reasonable of you to ask this question. I see that the replies goes like "it is your life/body and your future BF should accept it", but I don't agree to this. If a man aged 40 wants to have sex with his sons 18year old ... (read in full...)

I am not religious but have certain beliefs about virginity. Is this hard to appreciate?

Q.   I am currently an 33 year old atheist and virgin. I used to be a devoted christian, but lost my faith some years ago. However, my feelings towards sex has remained the same (or even grown stronger) meaning that I still feel that sex should be ...

A.   7 January 2011: Thank you for your replies. Illithid I have no plans on changing. My feelings towards what sex is/should be is so strong that it would be VERY painful to even try to break my beliefs... The only reason to why I would want to change my views, is... (read in full...)

"T'is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" - yes/no

Q.   Just out of curiosity, what are people's thoughts on this sentiment? Are the 'highs' of being in love ALWAYS worth the 'lows' of breakup and loss?...

A.   5 January 2011: "What does not kill you makes you stronger"? I say this is BS... Sometimes you grow from and experience and sometimes you take a beating that you never recover from... If the person treats you with respect and honesty I guess most relationships will ... (read in full...)

Im 34 and have never had a boyfriend, what the hell am I doing wrong!!!?

Q.   I'm 34 and have never had a boyfriend. I have a very good full-time job, a lucrative business on the side, spend a lot on my clothes, hair and appearance, have interesting hobbies, read newspapers and books, go to the gym and generally take care of ...

A.   5 January 2011: Considering that I have never kissed a girl even though my friends (male and female) and family think that I have both the appearance and personality for finding someone, I conclude that the key ingredients for someone are: boldness, timing, ... (read in full...)

I've managed to find nobody.

Q.   OK, I'm really, really struggling now, and I don't know who I can turn to. Basically I just want honest answers, which my friends and family in real life don't seem to wish to give. Anyway, I'm almost 29. I will be 30 in a little over a ye...

A.   5 January 2011: I guess she was more than honest... (seem desperate and pathetic may have been honest, but "there's a high chance you will never find anybody"?). Do you have any close female friends? If so, have them read your profile or, even better, write on... (read in full...)

24 and never had a girlfriend. What am I doing wrong?

Q.   I can't find a girl, no matter what I do. I can't find anyone to even go out on a date with me. It's gone beyond even trying to find "that special someone" or "the one", I'm just trying to find any girl who will go out with me. Every girl I ask out ...

A.   5 January 2011: If you are not uncomfortable around girls, then you at least have one of the right ingredients... Keep on trying? :( Have you tried asking your attached friends? They will probably piss you off even more, with more "blah, blah" (the only thing th... (read in full...)

Why did he want to know if I was a virgin?

Q.   I met this guy who is in the same program as me in my university He is really nice and always gives me advice. I like him and I think he likes me too, because he tells me why a nice girl like me doesn't have a boyfriend. we text each other ...

A.   5 January 2011: I doubt he asked this question out of boreddom, he probably wanted to know your standing and chose this question deliberately. For me (virgin aged 33) it is very painfull to imagine myself sharing my life with a non-virgin, so I would be very int... (read in full...)

I lied and told her I'd had sex with 4 girls but I'm a virgin. I can't change my story now!

Q.   I am, what most people would call, the stereotypical nerd. I have never been a ladies' guy, and am mostly introverted. However, few years back when I was a sophomore in college, an "out-of-my-league" girl in my Organic Chemistry class became really ...

A.   5 January 2011: I have to agree with Anonymous on Jarnuary 4th. If you want a relationship with this woman, then you should be honest with her. You might scare her away, but will a relationship built on a lie last? I to fit your stereotype and, if you are as ... (read in full...)

Girls reject me because I'm waiting till marriage for sex!

Q.   I a guy, just turned 32 last month, and I've never had sex. The thing is, I have a sex drive, and I want to have sex, but I'm the kind of person who does not want to have sex with just anyone; I only want to have sex with a woman I am truly and ...

A.   5 January 2011: It seems like society today does not accept virginity... I am a 33-year old virgin and, unfortunately, think that sex should not be shared with anyone. Even though you say that it does not matter if your GF have had sexual experience, I guess sh... (read in full...)

I love you? versus I'm in love with you...hmmm

Q.   Hello, I was wondering, my soon to be hubby says "I love you" and I love him too, but is there a difference between saying "I love you" versus "I'm in love with you"? Don't get me wrong, but we both love each other, however, I was told by a gf tha...

A.   5 January 2011: In norwegian there are two different words for "falling in love" and "love" (loosly translated the "falling in love" is "pre-love", but I guess it has more meanings). Personally I like the saying "you don't really know if you love someone ... (read in full...)

I gave my all in this relationship and it still didnt work out.....I feel so lost and broken

Q.   I’ve written about this boy before. We dated long distance for 2 years and 7 months, seeing each other tons. I was his first everything – at least everything we allowed ourselves to do. First kiss, first hand hold, first person he said “I love you” ...

A.   5 January 2011: I guess the worst thing about breaking-up is when you don't know why it happend and, even worse, if it is final... My ex were also emotionally challenged, and when she broke up with me she said that she had never been in love with me. I find it ... (read in full...)

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