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*dvice_man

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< Prev123456Next > [6 pages, 182 answers]

What's the point of asking me out if he's just going to cancel?

Q.   Why would a guy cancel a date that HE asked me out on and then say they'll reschedule but never do? whats the point of asking me out in the first place? whats the point of calling me up and sweet talking me?? i dont get why he even bothered to, or ...

A.   8 September 2011: Usually it's girls who have this sort of inappropriate, unexplainable attitudes but I guess some men too. I think the same rule applies though. Not really interested! Sorry. A man/ woman who is really interested and anxious to get to know someone ... (read in full...)

Can you have a love relationship with someone you don't find especially attractive?

Q.   I'm 31 year old, generally stable, happy person. I am making my way in my chosen field of work and have good friends, good family relationships. However, I've been a bit unlucky when it comes to love relationships. No problem attracting men, ...

A.   2 September 2011: Dear friend, In a man's mind, if a nice looking woman he hasn't seen for 2 years, takes the initiative to send him a message and ask him out for a drink it means that she likes him,she finds him attractive and wants to get to know him better. ... (read in full...)

Can you have a love relationship with someone you don't find especially attractive?

Q.   I'm 31 year old, generally stable, happy person. I am making my way in my chosen field of work and have good friends, good family relationships. However, I've been a bit unlucky when it comes to love relationships. No problem attracting men, ...

A.   1 September 2011: Hi there! I found your story very interesting but before i give my comments I'd like to know why did you run to him that very night you ended your relationship? Why him? Why not a close friend or family? What were you thinking when you called him to ... (read in full...)

Why would she come after me and at the moment when I reciprocate a little she gives me a cold shower?

Q.   What's your view on this woman's behaviour? Here's the story: I have a female colleague about my age. For the last 6 months she's been passing by my office often, smiling, being flirty, offering to make me a coffee, and all that. I perceived her as ...

A.   1 September 2011: Thanks for your responses RedAthena & jonas, you've been very helpful. That's pretty much how i perceived her actions. I didn't mention that the reason she was feeling sad on our meeting was that she broke up with her bf with whom she was with for 3 ... (read in full...)

G/f gave permission to cheat since she wants to wait till after marriage to have sex

Q.   I pretty much just met the woman of my dreams... except for one thing. She doesn't want to have sex until marriage. She tells me that she is a virgin and wants to stay that way until she is married. The strange thing is, she has told me that I could ...

A.   31 August 2011: My friend, you found a treasure!!! This sounds like the woman of my dreams too! Be very careful not to ruin this and hurt this girl and loose her. This blessing only comes once in a lifetime, appreciate it. You found the woman of your dreams and she ... (read in full...)

I tried all possible chances to be happy in life but I failed again and again. Will I ever be genuinely happy ?

Q.   Another painful day. Really. You have to know my history 1st. A family friend girl dumped me when we were 16 cause I was ugly and unattractive. Then after 3 years I joined uni. Fell in love again. Relationship remained for 4 years. Sh...

A.   18 August 2011: Never, ever invest your happiness on a woman's love my dear friend! Invest it on yourself. Discover the pleasures of learning and being a better person day by day. Invest your time on getting a good education. Invest your motivation on getting a ... (read in full...)

What is going on with her? I need to understand her actions!

Q.   I met this girl a month ago. We had sex on the first meeting. She told me afterwards that she just came out of a one year relationship that tore her up emotionally. The following two days we led a warm, caring relationship, she always stood by my ...

A.   18 August 2011: This girl is out her mind pal! What kind of a girl would sleep with 4 different men in 2 weeks? What kind of morrals and ethics does she has? Is this the type of a woman you want to be with? You said it, you are a nice, caring guy. She slept with ... (read in full...)

Why do some men prefer porn over true love?

Q.   I guess I am just an old fashioned girl. I have been married twice/divorced twice and am in a relationship with a wonderful man right now. We are both in our mid forties. To me, "sex" is about intimacy and love. It is about sharing the m...

A.   15 August 2011: Why would anyone prefer porn over the real thing? Most probably the real thing doesn't satisfy him. The real thing is not what he wishes to have but he can't have what he wants because either there's nothing available or he has very high expe... (read in full...)

What signals is this girl sending me?

Q.   I am now seperated from my wife of 15 years and trying to learn how to date and read the signals again. I am in my mid forties. There is a girl i know at the gym (mid thirties) who I get on very well with. We have had kisses and cuddles in the p...

A.   15 August 2011: From my experiences I would say this girl is not interested right now. Maybe she is interested in someone else and it's kind of a bad timing. Maybe she doesn't see you as bf material, even though you two came close and she made you gifts. Girls do ... (read in full...)

How far should someone hang their feelings out there before enough is enough?

Q.   How far should someone hang their feelings out there before enough is enough.. Sadly i know the answer to my main question, but im asking for help anyway. Iet someone out of my life last year that i shouldnt have. She has a bf now, and we talk ...

A.   9 August 2011: I've been through several similar situations my friend and unfortunately i was never wrong of what my instict was telling me. Girls have a talent messing with our minds. In your case: I think this girl is playing with you. You sound like a dece... (read in full...)

Is she trying to shrug me off? Should I keep trying to contact her?

Q.   There was a girl who I thought we got along very very well for 7-8 months, then she became very very withdrawn and quiet. We haven't spoken for 3 weeks now, I was the last one to text her. We met 3 years ago in a few days time, had we still bee...

A.   25 July 2011: I agree with the rest here. Erase any contact information of her from your cell phone and never ever contact her again. I know she broke your heart but you need to be a man and face the truth. Be strong and take her compleltly out of your mind. Best ... (read in full...)

A girl I liked said her ex was back but wanted to stay friends.

Q.   Dear all, I want your opinion on this: I met this girl and we went out on 3 dates. Some dates I initiated and some she initiated. We had such a good time, we talked, laughed and flirted for hours and we had so many things in common, but I didn't m...

A.   21 July 2011: Thanks for your comments Tom Obler & Danielepew. I really liked this girl and I was dissapointed that didn't work out. I was puzzled if i made my moves right, if I did something wrong. Thanks for giving me peace!... (read in full...)

I've lost faith and became bitter towards love and friendship

Q.   Right.. It's been about seven months since my ex broke up with me after a relationship lasting two and a half years. In total, we've known eachother for five years and we're very good friends.. From that stemmed my believe a good relationship; maybe ...

A.   1 May 2011: I am like you, we have very similar points of view. We cannot change, we are who we are. A man who fights like a lion cannot change and become a cat to chill out. Well, the price we pay though is that we could (but not necessarily) end up alone with ... (read in full...)

Confusion after Blind date

Q.   The other night i had a great blind date. There was lots of laughter and chatting, the body language good, her pupils dilated and lots of hair touching.She even talked about what to do ' Next Time' and stayed longer than she planned, as we was ...

A.   10 April 2011: That is funny so my friend, I am in the same situation! My date as well, went great...(actually it was our second date) 3 hours dinner chatting and laughing. Mine said too "Next time". Mine called me once during the past two weeks. Well, women are ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend has been less affectionate lately... or am I over reacting?

Q.   My girlfriend has been acting different lately. We used to have sex three to four times a week, now we barely do it once, she even stopped taking the pill... but what I dislike most is that I don't feel she enjoys it as much anymore (we were...

A.   3 April 2011: No definitely you are not over reacting. Apparently your girl has lost interest in you, either because of your fault, or her insensitivity or she might have found something else! Do an evaluation of the situation. If you believe it's you to be ... (read in full...)

How to flirt...advice please...

Q.   I always see guys my age flirting with girls, chatting with them, making them laugh, even touching them just casually and I feel left behind because I have no idea how to flirt or make a girl attracted to me. I need to know EXACTLY what to ...

A.   26 March 2011: Ahh my friend, it would have been nice if women came with a user manual so you know EXACTLY what to do to flirt but in real world that is not the case i am afraid! It is something for you to discover over the years to come. There is no secret recipe ... (read in full...)

Does ignoring someone you are attracted to make the attraction go away?

Q.   Hi guys. Just a quick question for you... Why would two people who are really attracted to each other avoid or ignore one another? And, does this mean the attraction will go away or will it get worse? Wondering what you all think!...

A.   21 March 2011: Yeah, give us a scenario! The question is too general!... (read in full...)

How does one grow to love oneself?

Q.   HoW DOES ONE GROW TO LOVE ONESELF? OR BE CONFIDENT? I am this beautiful girl that always gets hit on but i never see it..(people say it all the time) but I deperately want validation from ppl. I want to be accepted. How can i stop and just breathe...

A.   19 March 2011: The recepie is easy, the hard part is to apply it. Stop caring what other people think, and also start spending some quality time just with yourself. At first it will look awkward but after a while you will start enjoying yourself's company beca... (read in full...)

She needs space but still loves me!

Q.   Please read entire post as I really need an answer: So, I recently got out of a 1 year and 2 month relationship. For about the first 3-4 months things were perfect as they always are, and then the fights and arguments started to happen. I'll adm...

A.   10 March 2011: Ah, that's exactly the line i use to politely turn down a girl: "I like you but i need my space". What i mean, and what your girlfriend probaly means too is: "I like you but not enough to make the sacrifice and give up my space and time. I will only ... (read in full...)

What's this with me and my male friend? Views on our relationship please!

Q.   I know I love him even when I am married to a very nice guy. But no alarms here. I don't try to get him to wreck lives. But I need all your views on our relationship. I know this guy for a few years now. He is a junior advocate and I am a clien...

A.   10 March 2011: It looks like you both have deeper feelings for each other,you have all the symptoms!,but the fact that you are married is a barrier for anything more.... (read in full...)

How to create an emotional bond with a man? (need advice from the guys, please)

Q.   How does a woman create an emotional bond with a guy? For women, we'd want to be kind, thoughtful and generous. I hear that those things can be a turn off to a guy, so how are emotional bonds created?...

A.   9 March 2011: First of all define your femaleness, always be a girl! Sweet, honest, kind, sensitive, supportive. Stay away from the friends-only-zone, but be a good friend with a flirty attitude. Give all these but also give him space, give him the option to stay ... (read in full...)

I don't want him to be bored, I just don't want the complications that come with sex

Q.   I have been dating this guy for a couple of months and as it usually happens in any relationship the subject of sex came up... I told him how I didn't think sex in high school was a good idea for many reasons pregnancy, not being really emotionally ...

A.   8 March 2011: Reading your entry I thought it was written by someone much older. You are very mature and a very rational thinker! I totally agree with your thoughts and principles you mention. Indeed the complications of pregnancy are enormous at your age. It ... (read in full...)

A thank you to everyone here who's helped me

Q.   I've been on dearcupid for 6 years now. Over the years, I have asked many questions, and have given the best advice I could from expeirence. I'm recently engaged to the most wonderful man I could ever hope for, and find that I can talk to him about ...

A.   7 March 2011: That's so nice to hear a story with happy ending! Best wishes... (read in full...)

Are my emotional problems from a break up the problem? Or am I just not attracted to this man?

Q.   i've just entered a relationship with a new man. he is sweet, kind, caring.. in fact, it is very hard for me to fault his personality. I love spending time with him, i love the things we do together and i love his friends and his family. But i do ...

A.   6 March 2011: I agree with CindyCares. I've been ,quite a few times, in such situations where the other person is a great partner but the emotion is just not there on one side. Like CindyCares says if you don't feel it from the first couple of dates then it's ... (read in full...)

I'm not a virgin, but I've decided not to have sex again til marriage. This seems to drive men off! Am I being unreasonable?

Q.   My problem seems kind of funny, so laugh if you want, but I'm getting a bit frustrated. Although I didn't grow up religious, I'd had a rough time in life and turned to the church. This was a few years ago and I'm now a devout Christian, and have ...

A.   5 March 2011: On the contrary! It shows that you are a girl who sticks to her values, virtues and beliefs and any man you meet who doesn't appreciate that in you, then he doesn't deserve to be with you. You are a great person! ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend makes 5X what I do and is now calling me a gold digger for questioning the way he splits the bills

Q.   I'll try to make this brief. In a nutshell I have been seeing this guy for over a year, and my son (toddler) and I moved into his house a couple of months ago. Its a big beautiful house, he has only asked I pay a quarter of the mortgage. I am ...

A.   5 March 2011: So from what I understand he is the provider and wants you to be the housewife. I don't see anything wrong with that, to be honest, But!: Is there love in this relationship or is it just a business deal? If he loves you and likes being the provider ... (read in full...)

She rejected me but I am sure there were some signals from her! What do I do now?

Q.   Help! I met this girl... I was at a Karoke bar, she was with her 3 friends, and when I got up to sing, I asked for her name. When I sat back down, she called me over and we got chatting. She asked me to come along with her and her friends. ...

A.   28 February 2011: I agree with Danielepew above, move on. I interpret her signals as innocent flirting and nothing more.... (read in full...)

She made her choice, but now I'm hurting..

Q.   Ok so I met this girl a while ago, we swiftly hit it off and became friends. Knowing this girl was in a relationship, I didn't push for anything more. After a while we became best friends simply spending each evening talking, it had been a while ...

A.   28 February 2011: You say it on your last sentence and I totally agree with you:"I've started to feel like i'm nothing more than a support for her current relationship to fill in where he lacks.". That's exactly what you are to her, be sure for that. Women can be ... (read in full...)

Feeling depressed after a girl rejected me

Q.   I've been really depressed for a long time now, feeling like I have nothing to live for. but then around a year ago, at school, I met a girl in my class. She was a good friend of mine for a while. She was nice and beautiful inside and out. I star...

A.   26 February 2011: Ah my dear friend, welcome to the real world. Sadly, the story you are describing is happening all the time to all people in the world of all ages, not just you. It is part of life...it will probably happen again to you and vice versa, that is, a ... (read in full...)

Exs and rebounds

Q.   Will an ex come back after a rebound if you use no contact? What are ur experiences with this?...

A.   26 February 2011: My experience: Once they leave, they rarely come back... (read in full...)

How can I gain clarity about my situation?

Q.   This is my life. I live with my girlfriend. I get up for work at 6am everyday and return around 7pm. My girlfriend does odd jobs and persues her creative work. We have not had a sexual relationship for well over a year. I don't really know how this ...

A.   26 February 2011: My dear friend, I usually don't read such long entries but yours was so well written and i could realize from the first few lines what you are going through. Your woman has some very bad and unacceptable manners that, from what I understa... (read in full...)

Is being a 24 virgin male that bad?

Q.   I am a 24 yr old virgin male i try to live by the bible standards am nt perfect thats why i say try, some girls find it strange that a handsome guy at my age is still a virgin. Am waiting for marriage my girlfriend is a virgin and we both want to ...

A.   17 February 2011: Well done my friend for being man enough to stick to your values and for what you believe is right! Well done! Don't give up and don't listen to your friends. Best wishes.... (read in full...)

Would have I been better off if I had had a girlfriend years ago? Be honest.

Q.   Hi everyone. I'm back. I would appreciate an honest answer to this question. I like feeling sorry for myself and blaming God for everything, but to do that, I need amunition. I need proof that what I'm complaining about is fair enough. I have always ...

A.   17 February 2011: I haven't had a serious girlfriend for the last 6-7 years. I took advantage of all this free time to "make peace with myself", learn to play the guitar, I learned to play tennis, I excercise in the park almost daily, I appreciate the beauty of ... (read in full...)

I'm trying to get her to fall in love with me!

Q.   im in love with this girl who goes to the same college as me and my best friend. I see her every week day because where doingn the same course. were ok friends because we sit on the same table as each other along with my best friend and four others. ...

A.   15 February 2011: My dear friend, you are very young but over time you will learn it by yourself. There's no such thing as making a girl fall in love with you! If she likes you she will make sure you know! If she doesn't like you she will make sure to keep you puzz... (read in full...)

She says that she has issues to resolve, and until then she's afraid she'll cheat

Q.   I met this girl a while back, and we hit it off pretty well. After a few weeks which consisted of a mixture of hanging out, dates (movies, dinner, etc) she confessed to me that she is really into me, but she is scared that she will cheat on me if ...

A.   13 February 2011: My friend...apparently it doesn't cross your mind how manipulative some women can be! From what I read, this is how I "translate" her behavior: "She's afraid she will cheat..."- translation: She has very minimum feelings for you, but you are a ni... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and her male friend are too close for comfort in my eyes and I don't know how to deal with it anymore!

Q.   I have been dating my girlfriend for a year and a half now, and just recently have been realizing the magnitude of her relationship with her male friend. He is living in North Carolina and we are in Arizona. They have been friends longer than we ...

A.   11 February 2011: I would say ignore it, it will go away over time. If she wanted to be with him she would have by now, but she choose you instead. I understand that it's annoying and you are right by try to maintain your coolness. ... (read in full...)

Perfect relationship suddenly ends and she is with someone else in no time...WHY?

Q.   Please bear with me, I will try to keep this concise but it isn't easy. The first week of August 2010 I began dating a woman. I am 30 she is 33. I had only been dating casually for the past few years, and generally tended to be the one t...

A.   6 February 2011: Sad story my friend. Although, i haven't been in a similar situation unfortunately my "never trust a woman" theory finds confirmation once again through your story. Just be careful next time, don't trust women so easily. Regards.... (read in full...)

Every time I ask her out she says she's too busy!

Q.   There is a girl that lives a considerable distance away from me and we text back and forth every so often. I've hung out with her a couple times and I want to ask her out, but every time I ask her to do something she is too busy. I know that she is ...

A.   3 February 2011: I think she doesn't seem to be interested. There is a limit on when to give up. You ask once, twice even three times max. But after that if you continue asking her out you are only diminishing your self-respect and you will not gain anything. You ... (read in full...)

Should I continue pursuing this girl or pull the plug?

Q.   I'm in a quasi-relationship and I'm unsure if i should continue pursuing this girl or pull the plug altogether. I've been seeing this girl, but it got off to a rocky start. We had 2 dates, and then on the 3rd she said that she wasn't ready for...

A.   3 February 2011: I agree, move away! She is toying with you and just wanting your attention to play with. Her interest is rather selfish than genuine. Think the other way around: if there was a girl you really liked and made a move on you...would you loose this ... (read in full...)

Blind dates: How long to wait after the day of the date to realize nothing is going to happen and to just move on?

Q.   How do you know if a guy wants to see you again at the end of a blind date? What does he say or do? And how long to wait after the day of the date to realize nothing is going to happen and to just move on?...

A.   3 February 2011: Hmm...I have had several blind dates over the last few years. In all of them, I never called back or tried to re-arrange a second meeting. Maybe just a polite text thanking for a nice evening. If i had the slightest interest I would say directly or ... (read in full...)

Is he avoiding/ignoring me because I wouldn't have sex with him?

Q.   Just wanted to get a guy's perspective on this: I've been dating a guy for about 2 months, we seemed to get along, joke, talk about sports (yes I like sports), and he's been affectionate with me, however we haven't had sex. He's been dropping hi...

A.   3 February 2011: Yes, i'd say he is pissed off. Maybe he feels his manhood is woonded. You should not give in though, if that's how you feel, no matter what the cost is. I give this advice:always stick to your values, ethics and beliefs! Best wishes.... (read in full...)

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