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... Send *8years a private message | | | *8years's profile:Yes, I'm an old bag. Married since dinosaurs walked the earth. I am a trained and degreed artist by trade. I'm no genius, but I like to think I am (I blame my blondness for any and all mistakes.) I play 5 instruments, one of which is the organ because my parents wanted me to be popular.
My soapboxes: I don't like whiners. I think a lot of parents let the inmates run the asylum. Marriage is forever. God is there for us if we only remember to talk to Him now and then.
Yes, I changed my picture- there were suddenly a lotta eyeball pix! LOL |
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Did declaring my feelings scare him off?
Q. I've been talking/texting this guy for almost 3 months. We've been taking it slow, and for the past month that we've been apart realize how much we miss each other and want to be together. So he calls me, and tells me how he thinks of me all the ...
A. 23 December 2008: They may not be declaring their affection-they may be just trying to make you think they like/love you. It could be lust (women mistake it for love all the time), or it could be that the guy really got uncomfortable with things out in the open.
... (read in full...)
Did declaring my feelings scare him off?
Q. I've been talking/texting this guy for almost 3 months. We've been taking it slow, and for the past month that we've been apart realize how much we miss each other and want to be together. So he calls me, and tells me how he thinks of me all the ...
A. 21 December 2008: My rule of thumb is old fashioned: Let them say it first (even if you'e bursting with love). They like to feel like they've won you over.
No, honey, you didn't blow it...because the right guy would take those beautiful feelings and cherish ... (read in full...)
I attach great value to myself as a person and cannot bear to see myself governed by basic animalistic instincts.
Q. I really thought I was immune to being constantly hit on by guys over the years. The disgust I felt at the thought that they didnt care to respect I was in a long term marriage helped greatly to combat their attempts. I recently joined a new comp...
A. 18 December 2008: The best thing you can do is to use your imagination in the other man's presence: imagine him with food in his teeth, imagine him with toilet paper stuck to his shoe, picture him with other women...etc.
You can force him to comply by remainin... (read in full...)
I attach great value to myself as a person and cannot bear to see myself governed by basic animalistic instincts.
Q. I really thought I was immune to being constantly hit on by guys over the years. The disgust I felt at the thought that they didnt care to respect I was in a long term marriage helped greatly to combat their attempts. I recently joined a new comp...
A. 16 December 2008: If you need further reassurance, try a book called "Lies Women Believe". It's religious in nature but if you aren't comfortable with that, there's always "What Smart Women Know."
There is little sympathy for those of us who are tempted.... (read in full...)
Should I divorce my husband, and live with my boyfriend?
Q. I'm a 55 yrs old married woman for 20 years. Recently, my husband diagnosed with prostage cancer. Now he's in therapy and we weren't able to have sex at all. I happened to bump into my ex boyfriend in high school. He's a widowed now and availabl...
A. 16 December 2008: Whew!
Going without sex isn't easy-it's only once every 2 weeks...and what your hubby doesn't know won't hurt him, right?
If you really believe all of this, wait till hubby dies before you move in with your boyfriend. At least honor him ... (read in full...)
Considering leaving my husband - any one in the same boat?
Q. I've been married 15 years and have a teenage daughter. We got married only after 5 months of courtship. First 3 years of marriage were slightly turbulent as we continued to discover each other better. For the rest of the 12 years, we were focused ...
A. 16 December 2008: You've gotten two different sides of the story from stacy and sarcy...my advice is that you have to earn your way out of a marriage. You've thought about leaving for a year...have you considered what it would take for you to stay? Something ... (read in full...)
Can my husband fall back in love with me?
Q. Honest answers please!!! Do you think it's possible for somebody to fall back in love? My husband loves me but is not in love with me. We haven't made love in over a year. I heard his feeling in the past and always put him down sexually. Since then ...
A. 16 December 2008: Do not discuss sex with him...we women talk too much sometimes...talk to your girlfriends instead...try being very kind to him...compliment his skills...let him make the first move.
Be patient. If you need to relieve your own sexual urges, m... (read in full...)
Is he only with me because he doesn't want to come out of the closet completely?
Q. Is my boyfriend gay? He recently told me he would like to try oral sex with a man, then asked me if I would like to watch. I agreed to it and he has been cruising personal ads nonstop for the right person. Then he told me yesterday he would like ...
A. 16 December 2008: Wow! He may be bi-curious, he may be hoping you'll watch and copy what he's doing, or he may be setting you up so that he can invite another woman...hard to say for sure.
Do you watch porn movies together? Does he select gay ones? Can you ... (read in full...)
Both married we had affair, now he's single but I'm not!
Q. We're both married and fell in love with each other. He told me he'd never leave his wife and to work on my relationship with my husband which I did. The problem is he has now left his wife and is single. He say's he loves me and wants to be with...
A. 16 December 2008: I love Sally's answer...and I'd add that I've noticed that men size up a woman within minutes. You are either in the "fun for now" category, the "never" category, or the "potential mate" category. No woman can ever switch categories within a man's ... (read in full...)
I attach great value to myself as a person and cannot bear to see myself governed by basic animalistic instincts.
Q. I really thought I was immune to being constantly hit on by guys over the years. The disgust I felt at the thought that they didnt care to respect I was in a long term marriage helped greatly to combat their attempts. I recently joined a new comp...
A. 16 December 2008: Hey, you may try concentrating on how much everyone envies your marriage! You're strength is that you are proud of your 20 year marriage-and you should be! It may also be your 1 weakness: Marriages, GOOD marriages, are fragile living things. They ... (read in full...)
Is it better the second time around?
Q. Has anyone ever got together with an ex and it been better the second time around as you had learnt from certain mistakes? I may be getting back with my ex boyfriend and I feel that I have definitely learnt a big lesson, which came with a lot of ...
A. 14 December 2008: It can work...if the issues that broke you up have changed.
Circumstances change-some people get back together after years of separation!
If the circumstances which broke you up are still in place, you'll go through the same cycle only twice... (read in full...)
Is my ex-partner on the rebound and will I ever get closure?
Q. My partner of 18 years left me for another man. I didnt get any closure and she has made no contact at all. It been a few months now and Ihave heard that she has moved away to another part of the country away from friends and family and started a ...
A. 13 December 2008: I'm sorry this happened to you. Closure is way over-rated...you won't feel better hearing her complaints or how you should just be friends. The real question is: How badly do you want her back? Make contact, (and move heaven and earth ... (read in full...)
Is my wife lying about her late night cheating?
Q. My wife did not come home one night. She lied about where she was, but finally i found out that she was with someother guy all night long (well until 5 a.m.). She wants to make-up and she tells me they did not do anything except kiss. Should I ...
A. 13 December 2008: I'm sorry for the pain, anger and fear you're feeling.... You'll never get the answer that would truly satisfy you, so ask her if she plans to make this a habit. Ask her what she expects you to do. If you forgive, you must forget, but firs... (read in full...)
I want more action but don't want to come across as sex crazed!
Q. I'm crazy about a guy who I see from time to time! The thing is we are both backwards at coming forwards and all we do at the end of a date is give each other a goodnight kiss! The thing is he seems reluctant to make a move and I'm too shy (yes - ...
A. 12 December 2008: Masturbate-if you don't know how, learn.
I, too am wild about sex, and it's what I do to help myself out and to stay faithful.
If he's that shy, PLEASE wait for him to make the first move-otherwise, you WILL come off looking the way you don'... (read in full...)
I love bad boys! WHY??
Q. Hi! - What is it about "bad lads" that some of us girls cannot resist? I am with a guy who only calls me now and then, expects me to pay for everything when we do meet up, moans alot and also has a criminal record! The fact is I LOVE HIM!! - I...
A. 12 December 2008: Build your self esteem by helping people...volunteer to help people.
Your bad lad addiction will fade once your esteem is high and only then will your ego shrink. Don't take this the wrong way, but with ego high and self esteem low (they ar... (read in full...)
Can anybody tell me if there is any way possible to workout a relationship with someone with a drug problem?
Q. Can anybody tell me if there is any way possible to workout a relationship with someone with a drug problem? I've known this peron for over 30 years and always stayed in touch as good friends. He's had a drug problem as long as I could remember but ...
A. 12 December 2008: The odds are very low.
If he stayed clean for 2 years, the odds go up significantly.
If you already love him, stay with him without ultimatums.... (read in full...)
Does this gesture mean anything?
Q. I was recently out with a friend. All during dinner he kept placing his hands palm down in the middle of the table. I wanted to touch them but we are hjust friends. Does this mean anything?...
A. 12 December 2008: No. I think if he really wanted to hold you're hand, he'd make it very clear to you. The gesture may be just a way to reassure you-like a pat on the back.
Do NOT try to hold his...let him make the first move.... (read in full...)
How can I attract guys? What's wrong with me? Am I that repulsive?
Q. My name is Kristen and I havn't had a boyfriend in so long ever since freshman year of highschool (I'm twenty years old and a junior in college). Ever since then,my self-esteem has gone even lower than before. I'm think I'm too short (I'm 4'5"),I'm ...
A. 12 December 2008: You gotta act like you're a prize. Men like to hunt.
Has anyone ever tried too hard to go out with you? Didn't the desperation just ooze outta them? How did that make you feel? ... (read in full...)
I am dating a married man. Can his wife sue me for loss of affection?
Q. I am dating a married man. Can his wife sue me for loss of affection?...
A. 12 December 2008: Yes, it's happened in my town.
He wound up marrying some one entirely new.
Anyone who likes to have two women fight over him doesn't deserve either one.... (read in full...)
WHY do men cheat on women???
Q. I want to first say a big thanks to all the house members here, I think my problem is really getting to be solved soon.. My girl is now at the point of forgiving me, but still one more thing to get solved, I sent mail that I cheated on my girl, now ...
A. 9 December 2008: Men cheat noy because someone else is prettier or better...but because they are different. Men are wired to be turned on visually. The mature ones resist the urge to cheat.
Women have to guard their ears- we get seduced through listenin... (read in full...)
Can a man really be that forgetful and inconsiderate with someones feelings?
Q. What should I do? I feel so embarrassed by allowing myself to be taken in by this guy. I am in love with a guy who I know is probably just messing me around. He phones me from time to time (when he wants something), when we meet up - he only eve...
A. 9 December 2008: If a guy really cares, nothing stops him from calling or kissing you. ... (read in full...)
What if the guy tells that I had sex with him while drunk? I feel so ashamed!
Q. Ok here is what happened. This weekend I went to my cousin's family party and in there I got super drunk! I got so drunk I forgot everything. All I know is that I had unprotected sex in the bathroom! I feel so ashamed I want to dissapear and what if ...
A. 9 December 2008: The best way to stop a rumor, if it goes that far, is to make up one even more outrageous: "Oh yeah, he did me in the bathroom 3 times and then I got my friend to join in-" Then raise one eyebrow and laugh.... (read in full...)
What else can I do to try and get the truth?
Q. My man stopped looking at me, hugging me, stroking me, or wanting to do anything with me . I noticed he turns away when I'm naked. He seem to feel ashamed. I look good , well, good shape for and over my age.. I asked him why , he says , he doesn't ...
A. 9 December 2008: He may not be cheating. How old is he? Erectile dysfunction can happen at any age. He needs acheck up. If you decide to believe he's cheating, you will treat him differently...you may destroy something by accidently jumping to conclusions. ... (read in full...)
His motto is enjoy them and then forget them.
Q. Hello everybody. I am 20 years old Indian girl. I have a frnd here in canada. He clearly says that he just wants to have fun. He want to have sex without any attachment. He says I have slept with many girls but you are different from all of them. He ...
A. 8 December 2008: Tell him your cervix is way too tight for him. Tell him your motto is "I am unforgettable"
You are different- you will forever be the one that got away...... (read in full...)
My wife is wonderful, but I have fallen in love with a married woman, what do I do now?
Q. I've been with a wonderful woman for 11 years. no kids. we are best friends, we have a solid relationship, communication has improved over the years....we don't have sex much. once every couple months. I recently met and fell in love with ano...
A. 2 December 2008: A fling is where two people live in a fantasy world. No bills, no problems, no real-life traumas. Everything seems so right. Both are on their best behavior. True love is staying together for 11 years, raising kids, pulling the weight of li... (read in full...)
How can I detach myself from my boyfriend?
Q. Ive been seeing this guy for 8 months. we were friends before that for 9 months. lately i've been getting so attached that i've been getting mad at him. one, because i want to be with him all the time. I told him a few times i didnt want him to go ...
A. 1 December 2008: Honey, there's nothing attractive about clingy. Force yourself to keep busy and not get anxious. Women often need to hear things that make them feel secure-we are wired that way. The right man will understand.... (read in full...)
Struggling with a break up. Please help.
Q. I'm not really sure there is answerable question in the following, but I need a place to express myself and if you feel you can help me, please do. Again I woke up to a text message from J (my ex). "How was your day today?" I know she's not l...
A. 30 November 2008: Ok, I get it...but it burns you up to see her with B. Trade places with her mentally: if you were the one back with your old flame, would you tell this woman you miss her?
Yes, you might.
Would it mean you want to be with her and ditch your o... (read in full...)
Do feelings really just fade away?
Q. Ok so my girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me a couple months ago. I have been an idiot and kept pressing the issue of getting back together, even though i know she needs her space right now and doesn't want a boyfriend. I didn't do anything ...
A. 30 November 2008: Fight for her if you love her that much. Don't give up until she says I Hate You.... (read in full...)
He was seeing his ex the whole time we were together!!!
Q. Please help, I don't know what I should do!! It's quite long I'm sorry! I've been with my partner for over a year now but broke up for 2 months half way through the year after finding out he was cheating with who I thought to be his ex but turned ...
A. 30 November 2008: He's 44. You're the hot younger woman. Is there 20 years difference? So when you're 44, he'll be 60 ish? Are you sure you want to do this?... (read in full...)
Struggling with a break up. Please help.
Q. I'm not really sure there is answerable question in the following, but I need a place to express myself and if you feel you can help me, please do. Again I woke up to a text message from J (my ex). "How was your day today?" I know she's not l...
A. 30 November 2008: I know you miss her...you have romantic revisionist disorder. That's where you remember only the good times and not the arguments or the cheating...Been there.. .Whatever broke you two up the first time is still there. If you get back togethe... (read in full...)
How can I become the faithful girlfriend that I used to be?
Q. I'm a bit confused. I'm an attractive, well educated woman who seem not to be able to solve a simple enough problem and so would love some good advice. I love my boyfriend, we've been together for a long time. I use to be faithful but these days ...
A. 29 November 2008: Your question was about how you could be the faithful person you once were. You can be that person again but it's harder than just deciding you're a cheat and continuing to do it.
The way to be that person again is to ,,,,,just start being he... (read in full...)
The ex wife, is there anything to worry about there?
Q. Hi,Really hope you can give me some advice please! I met this really nice man about five months ago after chatting online, He has been separated from his wife for a couple of years and his divorce has just come through. We spend every weekend to...
A. 29 November 2008: She's after him.... (read in full...)
What should I do to ask him and get him to tell me the truth?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for over 2 years now. His best friend is always around us and me and his friend have always gotten along. Over the past couple of months the best friend and i have gotten close and i have developed feeling about ...
A. 29 November 2008: Wow, what a great friend!
Forget him. Once a cheat, always a cheat.... (read in full...)
We plan to marry in January but I can't forget that she has been unfaithful, please advise.
Q. Dear Sir, I’m happy to stumble upon your website. I have a fiancée whom we have dated for 6 years 3 months. I really love this girl and she claims to love me too. We arranged to get married early January 2009. All the marriage arrangements have been ...
A. 29 November 2008: NO. Do not marry this girl. She is NOT going to make you first in her life.... (read in full...)
Can you love somebody and cheat on them? Should we stay together or split?
Q. well its been about 3 weeks now since she's been home from the vacation im still unsure what exactly happened while she was there with that other guy but i cannot quit thinking about it , she had told me on the phone that we would just have to see ...
A. 29 November 2008: You don't cheat on someone you love. You can't bear to see the hurt in their eyes when they look at you. ... (read in full...)
We're dating but he like another female...how do I deal with this?
Q. My bf and I been together for 2 yrs now and he recently met a girl he really likes. Now, we're not planning on breaking up with each other but she does apparently "appeal" more to him than I do and this is what got me freakin out. How do I win m...
A. 29 November 2008: The dating relationship sets the ceiling for the marriage-the question is, how will you ever know if he picked you or if he is pining for someone else?
Cut him loose. You are too precious to be second best for any one!
A man who REALLY loves... (read in full...)
Is my husband making a fool of me?
Q. Hi i'm maried 31 years, we met 2 women in out local a few years ago and became friends as I thought. It seems now that my husband has been texting one of them for a while (shes a widow) and last month I caught him in her house, he said they are only ...
A. 29 November 2008: Married 31 years? Has he cheated before? I am wary of new, single, older female friends...I know too many of them who are desperate for a man-any man-
Yes, honey, I think someone's after your husband. Speaking to him won't work-they all deny... (read in full...)
He's offering his friendship back. Should I take it even though I feel more for him?
Q. A mate and I were really close (friendship wise only) I fancied him at first. I didn’t know he had a gf till 2 weeks after we first met. Thought it a stupid reason to break a potential good friendship over, gambled and stayed friends. Was hard but ...
A. 29 November 2008: Men are hunters. If the girl's too willing to be there for a guy, you run the risk of being one of three things with this kind of friend: a confidant, a nursemaid or a convenience. All of those roles can hurt you if your true feelings are ... (read in full...)
What can I say to recover the relationship...?
Q. Is there anything I can do/say in order to get my girlfriend back? Last week i got a bit down and kept my girlfriend at arms length,she was supposed to be going away for the weekend and i felt that i would get better when she got back. My mother...
A. 29 November 2008: Honey, some women like to play hard to get. If she's right for you, she won't get annoyed when you stop by with flowers. If she gets annoyed-move on and find someone nicer. The pool of available women gets bigger for men as they mature. Women ... (read in full...)
It really hurts how much he has change, why did he start treating everybody so badly?
Q. Right basically, ive split from my boyfriend and i still really like him even tho he hurt me really bad by leading me on after we went on a break by his choice by kissing me and then ending it for good, but hes really changed. He used to be sweet,fu...
A. 29 November 2008: How old is this boy? He sounds really immature-too babyish for you. The longer you pine over him, the longer it'll take to find your true love...... (read in full...)
I feel so strange! I cant explain what I'm feeling, I don't know what I'm thinking, what do I do??
Q. just cannot deal with anything right now.. Basically, I went out with this guy for a few months, he cheated on me.. I still like him. Well, I actually don't know if i do, I don't like the person he's become, but I miss what we had sometimes. ...
A. 29 November 2008: Honey, I'd say you're healthy and you KNOW what to do. The right thing is the hard choice-so hard that many many women stay stuck in a fantasy about the good times in a relationship-they forget the bad times.
Every minute spent romantic... (read in full...)
I think he is cheating on me! What shall I do?
Q. ive been with my partner for 3 yrs we got a little girl togerther know and i also have one from a previous relationship 2 yrs ago i found out that he took some girl back to his dads house and they stayed in the same bed my partner and the girl say ...
A. 29 November 2008: Honey, here are some of the signs of cheating:
1. He breastfeeds his cell phone-keeps it close to him or turns it off when with you
2. He picks fights with you-to get away to see someone else and feel justified that you "forced" him to do it
3. H... (read in full...)
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