Like what
she writes?
... Add *8years to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *8years a private message | | | *8years's profile:Yes, I'm an old bag. Married since dinosaurs walked the earth. I am a trained and degreed artist by trade. I'm no genius, but I like to think I am (I blame my blondness for any and all mistakes.) I play 5 instruments, one of which is the organ because my parents wanted me to be popular.
My soapboxes: I don't like whiners. I think a lot of parents let the inmates run the asylum. Marriage is forever. God is there for us if we only remember to talk to Him now and then.
Yes, I changed my picture- there were suddenly a lotta eyeball pix! LOL |
|
Big problem, don't know what to do, please help?
Q. From the moment he stole that first kiss, my heart belonged to Bobby Kortright. Life has been an adventure with him. It was during August of our 5th year together that he began an affair with 'Aunt Jeannine'. Just so we're clear 'Aunt Jeannine' is a ...
A. 24 January 2009: I don't think you can edit or delete.... (read in full...)
All my husband of 27 years wants to do is sleep
Q. I have been married for 27 years. I want to know is it unrealistic of me to want to have attention from my husband after all these years. All he wants to do is sleep. I am literally alone on the couch watching tv. He never sits by me or tries to ...
A. 12 January 2009: Hey, we all get tired of that familiar old routine. We want romance and passion and yet we look at that same old dude lieing on the couch and think...wow, another saturday night down the tubes.
You're not really being rejected by him, at least no... (read in full...)
I love him I know he doesn't love me back
Q. I am oh so deeply in love, but he doesn't love me back. He's the only one I'll ever love and I'm sure of it. What exactly should I do???...
A. 12 January 2009: Listen to prince, "I can't make you love me if you don't...I can't make your heart feel something it won't..."
You can't force someone to love you... but trust me, someone will one day and you'll look back and wonder why on earth you thought ... (read in full...)
I love someone but he isn't in love with me...
Q. I love someone but he isn't in love with me, he just wants to have sex with me although he loves a girl and does have sex with her. Am I just a best friend to him? What can I do!!... ...
A. 12 January 2009: Aren't you glad you are not his girlfriend?
Then you'd be wondering who else he's having sex with.... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to my wife chatting up other men online?
Q. My wife and I have been together for 10 years of which we have been married for 5. We were each others first and have never been with anyone else. I just recently found out that my wife has been chatting online with other men, then she took it one ...
A. 12 January 2009: No you aren't over reacting. Women are seduced with words first...she's in danger and doesn't know it. She feels safe because she has you to love her, and she may feel that her texting is harmless, fun and exciting.
She is fooling herself ... (read in full...)
I love both wife and married lover!
Q. My situation is pretty complicated so i'll start in the beginning. I have been married for 17 years. I have an 11 year old son and a 17 year old daughter. I feel i have been in love with my wife since we were married but a recent relationship ...
A. 12 January 2009: WOW...why have 1 when you can have 2?
Ok, just kidding...you are in a jam. Imagine you're reading your letter through someone else's eyes...it is clear that you will not be able to live with yourself if you choose Ms. Newbody.
I agree with ... (read in full...)
How do I get beyond this and feel attractive to him again?
Q. I have been married to the same man for 25 years and a year ago after many months of suspecting, I walked into his girlfriend's home and found him in bed with her. I can't seem to forget or forgive. I feel like I'll never be as attractive as she was ...
A. 12 January 2009: It's not about beauty...after all, the most beautiful women in the world have been cheated on...Halle Berry for one...
It's about a man wanting something different from what he had for 25 years.
...and about another woman wishing she had ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated when we were still dating, and he did this because I cheated on him.
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend (fling, got pregnant, had an abortion), and I did this because I thought our relationship was over. It wasn't over, and we got back together. He found out and he'd hurt me every time he remembers what I did. After a few ...
A. 12 January 2009: I'm sorry you had to know that...actually, it was sort of mean-spirited of him to mention it so late, on the other hand, you could say that he withheld the info out of love for you.
Let the past stay in the past and live in the present. Never br... (read in full...)
Am I paranoid here...or is he cheating on me?
Q. So me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 months. We have had our ups and down, but who hasn't. I love his guy a whole lot. But, lately, things haven't been adding up. His sister is telling me stuff about him that I rather not have known, ...
A. 12 January 2009: just an experienced guess, here...
He will NEVER confess to you...and he will never be able to answer all the questions you have to your liking. It's a guy thing to just fade away and let the girl do the dirty work of breaking up.
However... (read in full...)
I know he has a g/f but we are having an affair
Q. I feel terrible, I have started what seems to be an affair type thing with someone I know has a girlfriend. I am single and we started as friends/work collegues - but now things have progressed from flirting to kissing and now more intimate, we ...
A. 12 January 2009: I'd also add that yes he is very good at doing this to you and staying with her. I know a guy who's line is why have 1 when you can have 2?... (read in full...)
He left me to go back to his wife and kids! Any advice?
Q. i am a married woman involved with a married/seperated man for 8 months. he moved out of his wife/kids house after 2 months of us being involved. things moved very quickly and before i knew it he was telling me he loved me and wanted me to move in ...
A. 12 January 2009: I'm so sorry to hear you had to go through this. You're not alone.
You connected emotionally and physically. You listened to his problems, he talked to you, and you let your guard down even though he told you exactly who he was, and what he ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that friends could just make love and be friends again without actually feeling anything towards each other?
Q. Is it possible that friends could just make love and be friends again without actually feeling anything towards each other?...
A. 12 January 2009: I've never seen that happen except on tv or with people who have something wrong with them. Most often, the girl gets hurt as she uses sex to get love.
It's an uneven playing field in that regard, so please be careful!
Friendship is... (read in full...)
I know he has a g/f but we are having an affair
Q. I feel terrible, I have started what seems to be an affair type thing with someone I know has a girlfriend. I am single and we started as friends/work collegues - but now things have progressed from flirting to kissing and now more intimate, we ...
A. 12 January 2009: If he's not honest about you, he's not honest with you.
Cheats often tell new gfs that their ex cheated on them. When in reality, it was they who cheated. Please be careful - you are in danger of getting your heart broken into little bits.... (read in full...)
Want to speak to my boyfriend but can't...
Q. My partner has been fairly supportive for a number of years but I am angry with him as are relationship is not moving on. I have two children for a previous and one for him. I am very independent with my own property and job. My mother died ...
A. 11 January 2009: Firstly, I am sorry to hear about your loss, you've had an awful christmas.
Honey, I understand that you want him to run to you - I wanted that from one guy a long time ago, too. And when he didn't run to me, I was deeply offended. So I played h... (read in full...)
He wants to pee on me!!!!
Q. Hi there! Today I have a strange question.... or maybe not. What should I think about a man who likes to pee on a woman and get horny with it? Is it common? Once again, I think I know it all, but always being surprised... over and over again......
A. 11 January 2009: At 48, I've heard and seen a lot. Yeah, it's kinky, but if you love the guy, and you're both single, try it. It just feels like a hot shower from a one-holed showerhead. Then try returning the favor.
Don't see it in a negative way.
I perso... (read in full...)
What can I do to be brought out of my shell a bit more?
Q. I am painfully shy and lack confidence. I have no real friends and no social life. I have bought many books on this and tried many different techniques, even hypnotherapy! Nothing has worked, I have been this way my entire life. Now I am going to be ...
A. 11 January 2009: Read The Game... I think it's written by a guy named Mystery. It's about meeting girls, and especially hooking up with them. The man has made a career out of studying women and how to shmooze them.
Just don't use any one and throw them away - p... (read in full...)
Rocky marriage, ready to throw the towel in, depression issues and I can't stop thinking about his uncle!
Q. I am a 23 year old married woman with 2 little girls under the age of 2. My husband and I have been married for 6 months and together for 3 years. The problem is, I don't think I love him anymore. I am so severly depressed, suffering from severe ...
A. 10 January 2009: Honey, could it be that you and your husband's fights are over money? Times are tough right now, and the fantasy that Uncle QT is a better choice has gripped you. Something made you love your hubby enough to agree to marry him, share your lives, ... (read in full...)
So my leg spasmed about 5 minutes after sex, is that an orgasm?
Q. So earlier tonight me and my bf had sex and this time i was on top. So i don't think i've ever had an orgasm but i know its like leg twitched. But after we had sex i got dressed and went out into the living room. As we were sitting there(within 5 ...
A. 10 January 2009: No.
It was a cramped muscle.
Please be careful, you're playing with fire.... (read in full...)
What does "friends for now - not ruling it out" mean?
Q. What does this statement really mean "friends for now / not ruling it out" i was told that (a while ago now), we wernt' a couple, it was more casual i guess. He said he felt we were getting to close and he's scared to get close to anyone ...
A. 10 January 2009: You're right to be uneasy, honey.
Get your money back, and never loan it out to him again. He sounds really slippery. He's playing games and using you... trust your instincts. Be polite and firm. Limit your texts.
I had a guy try to use m... (read in full...)
Do you think I will ever have a boyfriend?
Q. well i always wondered about having a boyfriend would be weird fun cool in t.v it loks perfect i know im sounding like a little girl with to much illusions .......well im not desperate to be with a guy that much im just wondering would guys date a ...
A. 10 January 2009: I felt the same way - my crush was David Cassidy...
Anyways, the wonder and beauty of it all is waiting for you. Of course you'll have a boyfriend - many, many of them. Each one will teach you something new. Some may break your heart for a bi... (read in full...)
Is us being together going to be a problem because of the age difference?
Q. dear cupid... age thats a big problem for love that's what i think but i always hear love has no age you know you don't choose who to fall in love with! my friend shes 16 and shes in love with this guy that's 30 years old is that a big diffe...
A. 10 January 2009: Is it puppy love?
If not, the 30 year old is in for a nice pair of matching bracelets.
... (read in full...)
Please help! I hate arguing with the girl I love!
Q. HELP!!!!!!!!!! i love my girl friend but she and i come from different lifestyles. she is rich and spoiled and i am a poor working class guy? i really want to make it work but her and i argue about the dumbest things. mostly money though? i ...
A. 10 January 2009: Ask her if money means more to her than you do. When she responds, tell her you asked that because that's how she's making you feel.
Some women don't feel loved unless a guy is spending money on them... (in fact, you can tick a woman off by spend... (read in full...)
I'm starting to feel down because people make me feel like a failure.
Q. I'm starting to feel down because people make me feel like a failure. I'm single and am hoping to find a partner I can settle with. Everyone always says to me, "you really should think about getting on the property ladder" - when I can't afford ...
A. 10 January 2009: Honey, the people who care about you and ask you those things don't realize that it's hurting you.
You need some snappy comebacks.
As for meeting someone new, you gotta go out , get out of your routine, learn to play a new instrument, take... (read in full...)
I'm on the verge of cheating! HELP! So confused!
Q. I need some advice...I've in a serious relationship for 7 years, married 2 1/2 out of those 7. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship. The 1st year we started dating he took me home to meet his family (on west coast). As soon as I met his ...
A. 10 January 2009: Wow...
You'd be doing it with a fantasy. Unfortunately for you, women are biologically predisposed to fall in love after sex. If we weren't, there'd be no great country western songs.
Put your attention back on your husband- he's WAY cuter t... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I'm not helping any more, or I should just let him ruin my life?
Q. It is about parenting... What is the best thing to do, if a grown son, over 20 years of age, does not want to take responsibility for his own life. He drinks, doing drugs and always ends up in some trouble. That means he gets sick, and broke from ...
A. 10 January 2009: You can still be his mom without letting him ruin your life.
Set boundaries.
He may come and go many many times before he finds his way.
I have so little family left, that I also feel you should never turn your back on family. BUT, you've ... (read in full...)
I need to help my son, I've tried but feel like a failure so what should I do?
Q. I'm a mother of two, my sons are 12 and 15. My 15-year-old son causes a brouhaha wherever he goes, whatever he does. I know teenagers can be a handful, but this goes too far. I've tried everything - cut off pocket money, stopped treats, TV etc. ...
A. 10 January 2009: I told little sister that her brother was trying to protect her... at least that's how I could interpret the bossiness... and now they don't fight anymore!
Spend time with your eldest-research shows that a teenager's brain begins growing again an... (read in full...)
Am I right in reading this situation or am I dead wrong. What does anybody else think?
Q. Recently I wrote about a girlfriend of mine and the man she has been dealing with for the past several years. Now here we are in a brand new year and she is bringing the old into the new. She told me she had sent an email to this man telling him ...
A. 7 January 2009: Based on your age, I'd guess he may be around the same age.
The pool of available women desperate to not be alone grows for him.
Conversely, the pool of available men shrinks for her.
A man who cares and one who is worth investing yourself... (read in full...)
My wife and I have grown apart, can't afford divorce, will having an open relationship work?
Q. My wife says she doesn;t love me anymore. We can;t afford to get a divorce and look after our kids and two residences. I need love and affection (sad to admit, but it's true). I'm thinking of asking my wife for a divorce but we will continue to ...
A. 7 January 2009: Don't give up on your marriage just yet!
Enroll in scuba diving, parachuting, travel to Tahiti together. You just need to be open to new experiences together before you open your marriage up!... (read in full...)
Big problem, don't know what to do, please help?
Q. From the moment he stole that first kiss, my heart belonged to Bobby Kortright. Life has been an adventure with him. It was during August of our 5th year together that he began an affair with 'Aunt Jeannine'. Just so we're clear 'Aunt Jeannine' is a ...
A. 7 January 2009: Run like hell!
Be the one that got away! Don't look back because if it ain't Jeanine, it'll be Maureen, Suzene or Colleen...
Do you really want to be saddled with Bobby the Loser?
Every minute you spend thinking about him, you lose a mi... (read in full...)
After 13 years with me, he married someone else within 4 months of meeting her!
Q. I had been dating this man from 1995 until 2003 and we remained friends until 2008. We built a business together and have been through a lot together over the past 13 years. He said that I was his best friend and in May 2008 told me he loved me and ...
A. 7 January 2009: He is married now. The whole relationship changes.
You must now guard your ears from what he says. You must shut down any conversation that goes beyond business. You're allowed to be impolite about it, saying, "this is inappropriate" when he ... (read in full...)
My wife has big problems! Can you change someone's behaviour and personality?
Q. Can you change someones behaviour and personality? My wife of six years is changing, all aspects of her behaviour and personality are different to when i first met her. To give you some background I knew her for about 4 years before we were mar...
A. 4 January 2009: You can lead a horse to water, but...
Slightly similar situation with my husband, whom I love dearly. I decided to seek professional help for myself (he thinks there's nothing wrong with him, go figure!). I learned that he is an irregula... (read in full...)
Why did I stay? Help me understand....
Q. I thought he roped the moon. I tell you what my ex made me if only for a moment believe that all of my dreams would come true; and then one day it changed and yet I still hurt. The first time he ever hit me was Christmas Eve, I remember it like it ...
A. 4 January 2009: Honey, as hard as it is, call the police on him. Don't threaten to do it...that'll clue him in...just do it.
Children who witness abuse like that usually grow up to become abusers themselves.
I know you are strong. I know you love him. I kno... (read in full...)
Her bad moods are bringing me down!
Q. I've been dating my fiance for over a year. We're engaged to be married in 5 months. I love her so much and she's warm and afffectionate 95% of the time. The problems is that when she gets stressed for frustrated, she snaps at me and gets bitchy ...
A. 4 January 2009: While dating, most folks are on their best behavior. The dating relationship sets the bar for the marriage. The marriage NEVER gets better than that...when bills set in, when other relatives cause trouble, when normal problems arise, things get ... (read in full...)
He's a married friend..so why does he go 'cool' when I mention other guys?
Q. I have a friend with whom I keep in touch very often. They live far across the country and I'm friend of him not his wife. I only know him actually. But, he's happily married, he talks about family and all. The thing that bugs me is that since we...
A. 4 January 2009: You are friends with him, but not his wife.
He changes the subject when you "accidently" mention other guys.
I think you know the answer-trust your gut.
You and he have formed an emotional relationship, and he is in danger of straying with ... (read in full...)
How can I save my marriage and my reputation from this infidelity?
Q. I recently cheated on my husband. What is worse is that my brother-in-law saw me outside in a parked car with the other guy. How can I save my marriage and my reputation from this infidelity?...
A. 4 January 2009: Studies show that men are 97% less likely to forgive cheating. The odds are, unfortunately, against you. If you can deny it and keep it a secret to your grave, you may be ok. If he questions you, say "It would be hurtful to hear something like ... (read in full...)
How close can friends of the opposite sex be?
Q. Guys please, My best friend is a man in his mid-forties (I am in my mid-fifties and a trained nurse), we are not romantically involved (even though I would like to be), but my friend talks to me about everything, I mean everything. He h...
A. 3 January 2009: The woman he is in love with is a red flag if you have any hope of a romance, leave it alone!... (read in full...)
Help... I'm in love with a married woman!
Q. I have been dating a married woman for about a year and a half now. We both love each other very much. I don't think love is our trouble. We are Best Friends and would do almost anything for each other. I want this lady to leave her husband but he ...
A. 3 January 2009: Why do people think that dating a married person will make them happy? And why is it that married people who date describe miserable relationships with their spouses but continue to stay with them?
New shoes under your bed will not solve an... (read in full...)
What he has said still hurts, should I leave things as they are?
Q. my husband cheat 3x in 11yrs. the last time I woulnt take him back he moved out to our other home and didn't help with any $ or the kids I turned to my older sons father for support my husband found out and started all these rumors about us..he is ...
A. 3 January 2009: I know it hurts...I've been other people's shoulder to cry on...
Talk to other women? That's how men get into them. Women listen and feel that they are being understood-but often there's another agenda.
Check out the topic about "do men al... (read in full...)
I have fallen for a guy who will be released from prison soon, need some advice on this situation, should I be involved or not?
Q. Hello, I have 2 boys, and have been in a loveless relationship for 17 years. I only married because I felt sorry for my husband. Thought I could help him. DON'T DO THIS, ladies! Here's my HUGE problem.. BEFORE I married, I was not a Christian, and...
A. 3 January 2009: My poor cousin got stuck in a prison relationship. She married the guy and had his son. The guy was in and out of prison for 10 years.
She filed for divorce and he sent threatening letters to her about killing her. He even drew pictures... (read in full...)
Has anyone gone to a psychic?
Q. Did anyone ever went to a Psychic .. and how lucky were you???...
A. 2 January 2009: Yes, I went with my older step-brother.
My bro was asking about his romance and if she was "the one"...
The psychic told my bro, "yes, she's the one you're meant to be with".
Then he pointed at me!
The quack didn't even know we were b... (read in full...)
I need your advice with my "A-hole" husband.
Q. My husband only thinks about himself. He truely believes that he is a better and a more important person than I am, because he makes more money than I do. We always have to do what he wants. All of his brothers tells me that he has always been this ...
A. 2 January 2009: I'm guessing that you're a christian. My advice is not easy to follow, but think about trying it:
Extend sacrificial love to your husband.
Here's why: This may be the means of his spiritual healing. God won't forsake you, no matter what y... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying or get out before he does?
Q. It's a new year big question. I hope there is some good observations. I'm contemplating of divorce, after 23 years. Here are my problems. Luck of affection.,from him ,luck of involvement, luck of trying to fix things in relationship. Luck of...
A. 2 January 2009: I'll bet you haven't tried this-
Put yourself in submission to him:
Become affirming, not adversarial.
Become compassionate, not controlling.
Become a partner, not an antagonist.
It is usually the woman who calls it quits first (due to... (read in full...)
| *8years's friends
These are mutual friends, so *8years has
added them and they have added *8years!
|
